Nonmonogamy Quotes

“They'll say you are bad
or perhaps you are mad
or at least you
should stay undercover.
Your mind must be bare
if you would dare
to think you can love
more than one lover.”
― David Rovics

“Roen snorted. "You two have the strangest relationship in the Dells."

Archer smiled slightly. "She won't consent to make it a marriage."

"I can't imagine what's stopping her. I don't suppose you've considered being less munificent with your love?"

"Would you marry me, Fire, if I slept in no one's bed but yours?"

He knew the answer to that, but it didn't hurt to remind him. "No, and I should find my bed quite cramped.”
― Kristin Cashore, Fire

“Liberating ourselves from the traditional strictures of marriage altogether, and/or transforming those strictures to include all of us -- gay, feminist, career-focused, baby crazy, monogamous, non-monogamous, skeptical, romantic, and everyone in between -- is the challenge facing this generation. As we consciously opt out or creatively reimagine marriage one loving couple at a time, we'll be able to shift societal expectations wholesale, freeing younger generations from some of the antiquated assumptions we've faced (that women always want to get married and men always shy away from commitment, that gender parity somehow disempowers men, that turning 30 makes an unmarried woman into an old maid).”
― Courtney E. Martin, Do It Anyway: The New Generation of Activists

“Commitment can be expressed in many ways. Traditionally it is solidified through marriage, owning property, having kids or wearing certain types of jewelry, but legal, domestic, or ornamental undertakings are not the only ways to show dedication. In a 2018 talk on solo polyamory at the Boulder Non-Monogamy Talk series, Kim Keane offered the following ways that people practicing nonmonogamy can demonstrate commitment to their partners:
- Sharing intimate details (hopes, dreams, fears) and being vulnerable with each other.
- Introducing partners to people who are important to you.
- Helping your partners with moving, packing, homework, job hunting, shopping, etc.
- Having regular time together, both mundane and novel.
- Making the person a priority. (I suggest defining what 'being a priority' means to each of you.)
- Planning trips together.
- Being available to partners when they are sick or in need.
- Collaborating on projects together.
- Having frequent communication.
- Offering physical, logistical or emotional support (e.g. at doctor's appointments or hospital visits or by helping with your partners' family, pets, car, children, taxes, etc.).”
― Jessica Fern, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

“She knew every single one of us. Gave us the chance to share in her bed. We all took comfort that she was here and we were not alone. The princess had nothing but love to give.”
― James W. Bodden, The Red Light Princess

“I was terrified of opening my marriage to outside influence. Because it was the center of my life and meant more than anything. But as I thought through my fears, I realized something: Testing that bond was a win-win scenario.

Best case, we would weather the challenges, and I would have a wealth of experiences and emotional bonds with others that could complement my life.

Worst case, I was wrong about the strength of what we I had together, and it would tear us apart.

But if what we had were that easily ruined, was it really all that great in the first place? And wouldn’t I want to know now, 4 years into the marriage, rather than another 20 or 30 years down the road?”
― Page Turner, Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory

“Designer relationships are based on egalitarianism and mutuality, not on proprietary thinking. From this perspective, if people decide they will have multiple partners, the approach is the antithesis of cheating. In the conventionally monogamous model, each party owns the other (a modern variation on the more antiquated view of woman as property). In designer relationships, each party voluntarily owes the other transparency, some measure of emotional loyalty, and a determination to abide by agreements.”
― Mark A. Michaels, Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

“Recognizing that open relationships work for some doesn't threaten anyone else's relationship; it won't discourage anyone from choosing to be exclusive or from forming pair-bonds. We expect the majority will do just that and that dyadic and exclusive relationships will remain the predominant model. While we'd like to see people in those dyadic and exclusive relationships thinking their decisions through more carefully than they often do, we're not encouraging them to do anything that feels wrong. The simple answer to those who object to nonmonogamy is "Then be monogamous.”
― Mark A. Michaels, Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

“All of us are capable of being someone else’s difficult metamour.”
― Page Turner, Dealing with Difficult Metamours

“For the members of the Lewis and Clark expedition, the suspension of their own mores when they came in contact with the Indian nations was quite the opposite of battle, bringing not horrors, but the guiltless pleasure of a liaison unlike any in the United States- unlike any, because it didn't have to be arranged, induced, concealed, limited, remunerated, or sanctified.”
― Julie M. Fenster, Jefferson's America: The President, the Purchase, and the Explorers Who Transformed a Nation

“O poliamor não vem definido pelo número de relações, e sim pelo tipo de relação que têm os meta-amores entre si: se é de cooperação e cuidados mútuos, ou de confrontação e batalha pelo topo.”
― Brigitte Vasallo, Pensamiento monógamo, terror poliamoroso

“Monogamy can buffer us from our own personal insecurities. These may or may not be attachment based, but can be rooted in relational or cultural traumas and anxieties about our achievements, looks, intellectual abilities, likability, etc. When we commit to a longterm monogamous partnership or get married, these insecurities may still show up now and again, but many of them get eclipsed by the very fact that we have someone who has devoted themselves to us, someone who we think will love us and stay with us no matter how pimply our butt gets, no matter how much our body changes or no matter how stained and worn-out our underwear becomes. In such cases our self-esteem and sense of self-worth are contingent upon our partner being monogamously committed to us instead of anchored in our own internal sense of self-worth, self-love and self esteem.”
― Jessica Fern, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy