Horny Quotes

“They'll say you are bad
or perhaps you are mad
or at least you
should stay undercover.
Your mind must be bare
if you would dare
to think you can love
more than one lover.”
― David Rovics

“There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“98% of the things said by a drunk man are true; 98% of those said by a horny man aren’t.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Don't run around looking for someone who can sexually satisfy you, run around and look for the book which will intellectually satisfy you.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he always would be horny. So when Jody sat down across from him and the tsunami of hormones washed over him, he was quite shocked that he had ever forgotten.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends

“Gone are the days when women were attracted by a man's hansomeness. Today, we are talking about cash, and your compromise to become a tiger in bed.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“I was thinking,” he whispered. “If you’d taken me to bed ten years ago like I wanted and I fucked you every night since then, I’d have had you over three thousand times by now. Imagine that. How good it would be. I’d blow your fucking mind.”
― Nenia Campbell, Little Deaths

“Being hungry is just being food horny.”
― Nuclear Circus, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“There's a difference between being in love and being horny. When you are horny you want release, when you are in love, you don't want to be released, you just want to stay there in that state forever.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Vatican Virus: The Forbidden Fiction

“It wasn't the sort of horniness that lingered only in my cunt. I efficiently dealt with that sort after a session with my vibrator. It was the horniness of looking out into the horizon and knowing I wouldn’t get fucked anytime soon.”
― Valentine Glass, The Temptation of Eden

“Even if the body wants, so long as your character is strong, you'll never go astray.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Vatican Virus: The Forbidden Fiction

“Sex is usually had not for the two people to bond, but for both or one of them to be relieved of the desire to have sex.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Were men's knees supposed to be sexy? Their calves? One sight of Lucian's bony knee, delineated muscled thigh, and hard calf, lightly dusted with dark curling hair, made me want to reach out and stroke his leg, creep my hand under those shorts to cup what I knew would be firm and meaty and... damn.
Keeping my hands to myself and my mind out of his pants was going to be difficult. Which was weird; I loved men and sex, but I'd never been preoccupied by either. Until him.”
― Kristen Callihan, Make It Sweet

“Love with your eyes, and it'll fade in a year,
Love with your horns, it'll fade even sooner.
Fall in love with the being beyond the body,
And you'll have your messy but sweet everafter.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Amor Apocalypse: Canım Sana İhtiyacım

“I’m hornier than a chick dressed up as a unicorn and rolling on molly at Burning Man”
― Christy Anderson

“We can put your friends in the tower,” Vidrol added, rubbing a finger along the sharp line of his jaw. “It’s only a matter of time before the Darkness tries capturing them and using them against you. If Calder fails to produce you, that’s exactly where they’ll turn next and the tower is the most secure part of the Keep.”

“And me?” I asked, my lip twitching. “Where are you going to put me?”

His eyes flashed dark green, his lids growing heavy. “On your back,” he said plainly. “On my bed. On my desk. Over my throne. You pick.”
― Jane Washington, A World of Lost Words

“There's nothing wrong with wanting release, but we must make sure that the stimuli we use for release do not involve the violation of human will.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Vatican Virus: The Forbidden Fiction

“Fuck, I can't get enough of you," he muttered, giving a shake of his head. Yeah, like that would clear it.
"We should go upstairs---"
"No. Picnic first," he muttered, knowing he'd regret this for the next few hours when he sat through the torturous process of putting food into her mouth while battling a distinct case of blue balls. "You deserve to be treated right."
Confusion clouded her eyes. "I want you, Manny. I don't need all the fancy trappings."
"This isn't a fancy date, it's low-key, and I want to spend some quality time with you."
The confusion cleared, replaced by amusement. "You sure you're not a woman trapped in a man's body?"
"Come on," he said, grabbing her hand. "Besides, the faster we eat, the faster you get to discover that my body is definitely all man."
She fell into step without having to be asked again.”
― Nicola Marsh, The Man Ban

“I can chop, sauté, dice, whisk, knead. Massage. And rub. Among other things."
I bite my lip. This feels like some sort of indecent kitchen pillow talk. My eyes skim the shiny metal surface of the nearby prep table. If only there weren't a handful of servers due back in the kitchen at any minute, I'd demand he bend me over the shiny cold surface and show me for the millionth time just how good he is with his hands. That's a decidedly friends-with-benefits thought.
I shake my head and glance at the clock. Only four minutes of ogling time left.
"You look like you've got something on your mind." It's as if he can read the naughty thoughts crowding my head.
My eyes fall to the floor. It's time to rein in the pornographic kitchen euphemisms and focus back on the task at hand.”
― Sarah Smith, Simmer Down

“VHALAN approaches the good DOCTOR with a furtive approach.

VHALAN
Bro, are you North Korean?

NIGELLIC CROUCH turns around with the look of a confused sheep on his face.”
― Joseph J. Capriccioso, Winds of Change

“You think I'm hot?" She gave him a slow, sensual smile.
His hand dropped to her hip and he tugged her skirt up. "So hot, I think I need to do you over the sink."
When he looked at her that way, with heat and desire in his eyes, she couldn't deny him anything. "Did you lock the door?"
"Of course."
"Condoms?"
Liam sniffed. "I knew you were going to be at the conference. Did you think I'd come unprepared to service your needs?"
"We'll have eleven minutes for the good stuff. Three to clean up. Two to fix our clothes. Ten to get to our respective conference rooms. Does that work for you?"
Liam spun her around and yanked up her skirt. "I love it when you schedule our sexy times. It turns me on."
"That's good because I planned for this in advance and left the Avengers at home.”
― Sara Desai, The Dating Plan

“I want to take ten gazillion photos and put them on Instagram, since I'm proud of myself for baking and decorating this cake when I was horny as fuck."
"Did you just say...?"
"Did I just say what, Lindsay?"
He wanted her to repeat his words, damn him.
"That you're horny as fuck?" she said.
"Might have done," he said innocently, as he started removing his clothes.
No, his apron. He was only removing his apron. She did the same and hung it on a peg, bumping into him in the process.
An accident. She hadn't done that on purpose.
But then she was in his arms again, and he was kissing her, and God, why was he so good at this? His hands slipped beneath her T-shirt, touching her skin above the waistband of her jeans. It was enough to nearly make her combust, and at the same time, it frustrated her.
She wrapped a leg around him and tried to climb him like a tree.
He laughed softly, in a way that made her insides turn into runny strawberry filling”
― Jackie Lau, Donut Fall in Love

“She couldn't tear herself away from his beautiful face, his furred chest, his tight trousers. As usual, the top buttons were unfastened, and her gaze was held captive by the male mysteries buried below.
How she craved to see him in the altogether! To run her hands across that marvelous torso! To massage and caress as he permitted his other paramours to indulge themselves on a regular basis!”
― Cheryl Holt, Total Surrender

“In Amorous Creeping by Stewart Stafford

I scaled a trellis in randy pursuit,
A rose in teeth for my paramour,
A thorn lurking by a naked stem,
Palmy, engorged and prescient.

A pigeon said to douse my ardour,
A talkative fowl, plainly no pidgin,
Snorts for this priggish counsel,
Blind shoots, driving me upward.

A wriggling worm to her chamber,
Inside I crept as she lay sleeping,
Sweeping a spectral sheet off her,
To lay until the dawn chorus sings.

© Stewart Stafford, 2023. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Rohan shrugged off the chill, but such eerie thoughts made him all the more glad they had brought him the girl. On so foul a night, it would be good to have a warm body beside him in bed. And beneath him, and on top of him...
He cleared his throat, eager to get his hands on her.”
― Gaelen Foley, My Dangerous Duke

“He liked sex. A lot. Nothing felt better than the hard vibration of a bike between his thighs unless it was the smooth, naked slide into a soft, wet woman.”
― Kate Angell, The Café Between Pumpkin and Pie

“He was gorgeous but in a devilish way."
"Gorgeous but devilish?" He heaved a sigh. "Can you be more descriptive? Hair and eye color. Weight. Height. Clothes."
"Leather jacket. Very worn. Boots. Also worn. His hair was tousled like he'd just got out of bed. It looked good on him. Sexy." I licked my lips, imagining Oliver in place of Garcia in my tropical island fantasy. "He was about the same height and build as you, but leaner. I don't think he spends as much time in the gym as you probably do..." I trailed off when Riswan shook his head. "Or not. It's nothing to do with me how much time you spend in the gym. Or don't. Or whether you even like gyms. Maybe you were born with biceps the size of watermelons---”
― Sara Desai, To Have and to Heist

“They’re not going to hurt you.” I hold out a palm to the men, asking them to stop where they are.

“Great goddess,” she says on an exhalation, really looking at them now that bunnies aren’t hopping all over the place. “I wouldn’t even mind if they did. They could break me in half, and I’d still beg for more.”
― Rory Miles, Shadow Slayer

“I’m Ciara. Sorry, Rosalina,” she says, voice low and sultry. “I’m needy. He sent me here before I even finished, you know.”

“Who sent you here?”

“The Prince of Thorns,” Ciara, Astrid, and Marigold all say at the same time.

I gape at them. “Wait, what? You were mid-bang with Caspian then he used his weird horny-thorny magic to send you here? And this isn’t the first time he’s done it?”

Ciara runs her hands through her hair. “Why are the most beautiful men the most fucked?”
― Elizabeth Helen, Bonded by Thorns

“Kalen (admin): What were you doing when the string appeared?

Theodore: Platonic bonding.

Mikel (admin): Isobel?

The messages stopped there, and she swallowed, typing out a hesitant reply.
Isobel: I’m not sure how much detail I’m supposed to go into.

Kalen (admin): Jesus Christ. Did any of you follow the goddamned rules?

Isobel: What rules?

Oscar: Not a chance.

Moses: No.

Kilian: Yes.”
― Jane Washington, Sauter