Twerking To Beethoven’s Reviews > Crooked Little Vein > Status Update

The girl, Mike, is a crazed omnisexual vaginalist with a string of lovers from genders they don’t even have names for yet.

❤

He smiled in the dark, showing me teeth that would’ve made Shane MacGowan puke. “You didn’t know we got a word now? Damn, you’ve been away, dude. Macroher-petophile. Herpetophile, for people who, you know, like lizards. Like lizards. And macro for like, big, large scale. So, like, people who…”
People who want to fuck Godzilla.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WT ever loving F am I reading?