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Riayl's Reviews > In Another Life
In Another Life (Heartwarming)
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Urk. Everyone is giving this really high stars. I feel sort of guilty for only giving it three. But I had a big problem with it that I'm too stubborn to get over. Most of the book is set during the dream/alternate future/what-could-have-been. We don't get a whole lot of time with the two when they are back in current time. Maybe if the book had been longer and there had been more time to focus on the time after his suicide attempt it would have helped. But the biggest problem is that after Shiloh attempts suicide and has this dream then suddenly everything is fixed. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts/urges for years. I lost my stepmother and a cousin to suicide. His depression and feelings of not fitting in just disappearing was completely...words fail me, because I don't want to sound insulting. I guess it kind of bothered me because I feel like it really (unintentionally) slammed people who are struggling with this issue, it made it seem like you should just be able to "smile and it will be better"...which it won't. I've had enough people tell me crap like that and it doesn't work. Which is not a rant at the author or the book. I enjoyed it, I just felt like this was a major point that got sort of shuffled to the back and for me at least, the book loses something because of it.
edited for extra clarity - My problems with this book stem from personal perceptions and reactions and influences outside of this book. I, in no way, believe that the author intended to belittle people struggling with suicide, in fact I think it is just the opposite. This is a subject I am a little too close to and for some reason it just set me off tonight. The book is good and I do enjoy this author, so the blame lies totally with me. :)
edited for extra clarity - My problems with this book stem from personal perceptions and reactions and influences outside of this book. I, in no way, believe that the author intended to belittle people struggling with suicide, in fact I think it is just the opposite. This is a subject I am a little too close to and for some reason it just set me off tonight. The book is good and I do enjoy this author, so the blame lies totally with me. :)
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In Another Life.
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Reading Progress
December 2, 2013
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to-read
December 2, 2013
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December 3, 2013
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mm-bl-danmei
December 3, 2013
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Lizzie wrote: "I have to say, I went completely on emotion and didn't dwell too deeply on some of the books more troubling connotations. Heck I didn't even notice if there were any editing errors. But I can see..."Eh, I guess I should go reword that because I don't actually think it was intentional on the author's part, I was more going on gut reaction to all the people that think it's as easy as just smiling and things will suddenly be better. I've had family members literally tell me that. So I will go back and try to fix that in the review, make sure it is a little more obvious that it is personal perceptions/reactions and not anything to do with the author or book. :)
I'm very sorry about your sister and I hope that your niece is happy and healthy, it's good that she has people like you to support her. :)
Ohhhh, I see now, and thanks. That was, oh god, fourteen years ago. The eerie thing was, I think she knew. My sister that is. We usually talked about once a week and we'd already talked like a day before she left on vacation. It was Fourth of July weekend and she called again, said she loved me. A few days later on their way home, they'd stopped for dinner around nine then decided to go home the back roads to avoid traffic. My niece and a friend were in her grandparents car ahead of her and she had one of my nieces friends in her car. They hadn't been buckled up before they stopped for dinner and apparently she made them all buckle up before she would pull out of the lot. A few minutes later a woman crossed the line and hit her head on. My sisters neck was broken, she died almost instantly. My brother--in-law and my nieces friend were seriously injured, but the seat belts saved their lives. The other woman's car had airbags and she might have lived if she had worn her seat belt. She had small children and I feel for them but I've never been able to feel any sympathy for the woman herself. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but if you go out to drink, you become a weapon if you drive and then the guilt rests entirely on your shoulders.Ah listen to me getting maudlin, and a little preachy. Anyway, my niece is happy now. She misses her mother, she was thirteen at the time, but she moves forward every day and that's what's important.
I'm with you on the drunk drivers, my father was almost killed by one when I was 10. Kid hit the driver's side door of my dad's car going over 60 mph, broke both of my dad's pelvic bones, back injuries, major concussion. The kid walked away without a scratch. They didn't think my dad would live, then they didn't think he would ever walk again. Luckily they were wrong on both but my father now has fibromyalgia and peripheral neuropathy - which causes the myelin sheathes on nerves to die, so his hands and feet have that asleep/numb feeling AND the tingling as they wake up feeling at the same time. He has to use a cane but sometimes he can't feel it well enough to hold it. All because some kid got behind the wheel of his car on his 21st birthday after drinking. He was more than 3x over the legal limit when tested. *frothing at the mouth* I am very lucky to still have my father. So I understand the anger and it doesn't make you a terrible person at all. Not preachy at all. *hugs*
Knowing the authors style, I think it was intended that it be only an "ah-hah" moment to aid the revelation that the character had so much to live for, and never intended to diminish the grievous pain that would bring someone to that point.
It takes a lot of courage to fight that kind of darkness.