Ozarks Quotes

“I am the Mister Rogers Bannister of swimming coaches for ducks. My services are available in underwater vending machines in ponds all across The Ozarks.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Sunsets and mirrors are great for looking back, but our love belongs to the sunrise. Let the orange glow over The Ozarks fade into the deep blue mystery that is our romance.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Ree Dolly stood at the break of day on her cold front steps and smelled coming flurries and saw meat. Meat hung from trees across the creek. Carcasses hung pale of flesh with fatty gleam from low limbs of saplings in the side yards. Three halt haggard houses formed a kneeling rank on the far creekside and each had two or more skinned torsos dangling by rope from sagged limbs, venison left to the weather for two nights and three days so the early blossoming of decay might round the flavor, sweeten that meat to the bone.”
― Daniel Woodrell, Winter's Bone

“Time is fluid, like the wide sky that fades into bright orange in a sunset in The Ozarks. Here on my duck farm, every moment is meant to be sipped and savored like a slow mimosa.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“There is no romance if there is no fog. When everything is clear, there's no element of mystery. In The Ozarks, mystique is ubiquitous.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“You may suppose that perhaps this Walter T. Wallace found his destiny in food and passed down to his progeny a legacy like that of the great Colonel Sanders. The folks here in Wallace County would love to be able to tell you this is so. But no, like their granddaddy, the Wallace men were thievin’ crooks, always with a scheme ready to separate the weak from their hard-earned money.”
― Gwenn Wright, Midnight Beneath the Magnolia

“There are no pink flamingos in my coffee, so it doesn't taste like a Florida sunset. But my java was made with aqua from The Ozarks, so it tastes like summer romance. Register to win a FREE duck farm tour.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Whoever said Romance is dead needs to meet me at The Ozarks Cemetery and help me get this thing to a hospital. It's coughing and cold, but we can still save it. I'll bring Duck Noodle Soup.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“How do you catch Ozarks fog in a net? It’s like fishing for silence. Teach a man to grow quiet, and he'll starve for the rest of his life. That's why I farm ducks, because trees have feelings, too.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“In the Arkansas section of The Ozarks, you’ll find water so blue it’s almost green. Around here, and anywhere people aren’t colorblind, we call that teal.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“I describe The Ozarks as somewhere in the middle of enchanting and charming. I don't know where exactly, so let's call it encharming.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“On nights like this, I feel like Henry Rowe Schoolcraft as I venture into the wild. Henry made it his craft to school people about the area, becoming The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Big Cedar is Jackson Hole of The Ozarks. The easiest way to tell the difference between a buffalo and a bison is one has wings and tastes great with hot sauce, and the other is a Wyoming hamburger.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs to a foggy Ozarks morning.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Time is fluid, like the wide sky that fades into bright orange in a sunset in The Ozarks. Every moment is meant to be sipped and savored like a slow mimosa.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Love makes the world go round. Too bad love doesn’t make the world go other shapes, like Table Rock Lake.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“In a Lake of Clouds, there's only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“People always ask me, they say, “Jarod, what do you do with your money?” Well, I base my financial decisions on the annual migratory patterns of Bigfoot, because maps are the new charts, as taught by the esteemed Ponce de Leon School of Youth, Wealth, and Duck Farming. Next time you’re in St. Augustine, Fl, or here in The Ozarks, you should stop on by and learn to become your own cartographer.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“In The Ozarks, where there isn't rock, there is clay. That makes those who use backhoes and dozers to shape the land sculptors.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“He must have seen. But like a child who believes there's a monster in the corner of his room, the truth was too simple and ordinary to bear. I told him I didn't love him, and he watched me like a ghostly shadow on the wall---watched hard for me to flicker, or twitch, or form the shape of a miserable thing. Hoping he might catch a glimpse of the Ozark Woman after all.”
― Allie Ray, Holler

“I took up duck farming in The Ozarks in 2020. I guess I did it mainly because the YMCA Aquatic Center in Orlando was operating at full occupancy with a geriatric aerobics class, and the instructor wouldn't let me ride my unicycle in the pool.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes