Andrew Minyard Quotes

“It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“Is your learning curve a horizontal line?”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil’s mouth.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“If it means losing you, then no”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“If you have to keep asking - I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."
"Don't 'always' me.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Andrew had nearly killed four men for assaulting Nicky and would have broken Allison's neck for hitting Aaron, but when it came to crimes against his own person Andrew couldn't care less. He held his life in less regard than he did anything else. Neil hated that with a ferocity that was nauseating.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Andrew was watching him, still perched on the edge like he had a death wish. Neil wasn't sure why he did it, but he plucked Andrew's cigarette off the sidewalk and stuck it between his lips. He tipped his head to meet Andrew's unwavering gaze and tapped two fingers to his temple in Andrew's mocking salute.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Give your back to me.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“Truth is irrefutable and untainted by bias. Sunrise, Abram, death: these are truths.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“And I am nothing... And as you've always said, you want nothing.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Anytime the Foxes mentioned Andrew's upcoming sobriety or Andrew's name popped up in write-ups on the team's performance at games, the focus was on what a danger he was. People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Such an unexpected will to survive from someone who has nothing to live for.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“What would it take to make you stay?"
The question was so unexpected Neil had to turn back. "What?"
Andrew laughed quietly at his shock and leaned forward. "Name it and it's yours. It doesn't matter what it is so long as you stand your ground here with us.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“You look drugged within an inch of your life," Neil said, "and when you're not medicated you're drinking and dusting. When they finally take your medicine away, who are you going to hurt, really?" Andrew laughed. "I'm remembering why I don't like you." "I'm surprised you forgot." "I didn't," Andrew said. "I just got distracted for a moment there.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Raven King

“You are a Fox. You are always going to be nothing.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“After everything they did to you, how can you stand me?" Neil asked...He gestured between them knowing Andrew would understand. "How is this okay?"
"It isn't a this," Andrew said.
"That's not what I'm asking. You know it isn't-Andrew wait!" he insisted but Andrew was turning away like he couldn't hear Neil anymore.
Neil reached for him, unwilling to let him leave without a real answer.
"No," Andrew said and Neil's hand froze a breath from Andrew's arm.
Andrew went still as well and they stood for a minute in awful silence.
Finally, Andrew looked back at him, but for a moment, Neil didn't know who he was looking at. In the space of one breath, Andrew's expression went so dark Neil almost retreated. Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt and said, "that's why."
Neil stopped when Andrew told him to. I wasn't much but it was more than enough.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“I don’t understand suicide,” Neil said. “Staying alive has always been so important I can’t imagine actively trying to die.”
“He wasn’t,” Andrew said, like Neil was being stupid. […] “He wanted a way out for a little while, a few hours where he didn’t have to think or feel. Problem was he picked an out that’s easy to die on. That’s his fault.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Raven King

“They were all right here with him still but he missed them with a ferocity that threatened to turn him inside-out. Only Andrew saw the strain in Neil's mask. He crossed the room to stand in front of Neil, a silent demand in his stare. Neil wanted to answer that, but he didn't know how. German was the obvious answer because it would afford them a little bit of privacy, but Romero and Jackson didn't understand German. They wouldn't know what he was saying and they would have to react like he was spilling every dark secret. Neil couldn't allow that. He didn't want to leave Andrew with nothing, but what could he possibly say? "Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing." He meant it for Andrew's ears only, but Allison was close enough to overhear. She sent Matt a significant look. Neil saw it in his peripheral vision but didn't take his eyes off Andrew to see Matt's reaction. He didn't want to look away, as if by holding Andrew's gaze he could somehow save this moment.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive. "I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand." Neil's voice had left him, but he managed a nod.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Raven King

“Oh, Neil!" Andrew wiggled his cigarette at Neil in greeting.
"Hello."
"Can we talk?" Neil asked.
"Today's not a good day," Andrew said. "Try again tomorrow."
"I wouldn't crash your birthday party if it wasn't important."
Andrew grinned. "Sarcasm from Neil? Your repertoire of talents is ever-expanding."
"Two minutes," Neil said.
"So persistent.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Raven King

“Andrew ignored him, but Neil didn't mind. He was content for now to look, arms folded over the back of his seat and chin propped on a forearm. He didn't know what he was looking for. Andrew looked as he always had, and Neil knew his face as well as he knew every iteration of his own. Despite that, something seemed different. Maybe it was the sunlight streaming through the window, making Andrew's pale hair shine brighter and his hazel eyes seem almost gold. Whatever it was, it was disorienting. A wordless question buzzed under Neil's skin, leaving him restless and out-of-sorts.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“I made him a promise." Kevin dragged his stare away from Neil's face to follow Andrew's progress. "He's waiting to see if I can keep it." "I don't understand." Kevin said nothing for so long Neil almost gave up waiting for an answer. Finally he explained, "Andrew on his drugs is useless, but Andrew off his drugs is worse. His high school counselor saw the difference between his junior and senior years and swore this medicine saved his life. A sober Andrew is…" Kevin thought for a moment, trying to remember her exact words, and crooked his fingers at Neil as he quoted, "destructive and joyless. "Andrew has neither purpose nor ambition," Kevin said. "I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around." "He agreed to this?" Neil asked. "But he's fighting you every step of the way. Why?" "When I first said you would be Court, why were you upset with me?" "Because I knew it'd never happen," Neil said, "but I wanted it anyway." Kevin said nothing. Neil waited, then realized he'd answered his own question.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Raven King

“Take what he is giving you and make it your shield. It's hard to kill a man when everyone's eyes are on him.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“How stupid, that someone so short could have such a presence.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“It took Aaron a minute to find his voice again. He still sounded angry, but there was a muted edge to his, "You wouldn't even look at me. You wouldn't say a word to me unless I said something first. I'm not psychic. How was I supposed to know?" "Because I made you a promise," Andrew said. "I did not forget it just because you chose not to believe me. I did what I said I would do, and fuck you for expecting anything else." There it was again: a hint of that infinite anger at Andrew's core. Aaron opened his mouth, closed it again, and dropped his eyes. Andrew stared at his brother's bowed head for an endless minute. Aaron had given up the fight, but every passing second seemed to put more tension in Andrew's frame. Neil watched Andrew's fingers curl against his thighs, not into fists but a mimicry of crushing the life from someone, and knew Andrew's temper was nearing a breaking point. He put his hand up between them, trying to block Andrew's view of Aaron, and Andrew cut a vicious look at him. A heartbeat later Andrew's expression went dead. Neil regretted his intervention immediately. No one could let go of that much rage that easily; Andrew had simply buried it where it could hurt only him. It was too late to take it back, so Neil dropped his hand to his lap in defeat.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men

“Kevin's expression was indecipherable. Whatever it was, it didn't look particularly happy.
"This is going to be a very long season."
"I told you I wasn't ready."
"You also said you wouldn't play with me, but here you are. [...] If you won't play with me, you'll play for me," Kevin said. "You're never going to get there on your own, so give your game to me."
"Where is there?" Neil asked.
[...] Kevin reached up and covered Neil's eyes with his free hand.
"Forget the stadium," Kevin said. "Forget the Foxes and your useless high school team and your family. See it the only way it really matters, where Exy is the only road to take. What do you see?"
[...] That thought was sombering, as it put him right back to square one and the fact that Neil Josten was a fleeting existence. It was cruel to even dream he could stay like this, but Kevin had escaped, hadn't he? Somehow he'd left that bloody room behind at Edgar Allan and become this, and Neil wanted the same so bad he could taste it.
"You," Neil said at last.
[...] "Tell me I can have your game."
[...] "Take it."
"Neil understands," Kevin said, dropping his hand and sending Andrew a pointed look.
"Congratulations are in order, I suppose! Since I have non to give, I will tell the others to respond appropriately." Andrew pushed himself to his feet and swallowed more whiskey on the way up. "[...] As it is, I might puke from all the fanaticism going around.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Foxhole Court

“Andrew affected innocence but the twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away. Andrew gave up the farce a couple seconds later and laughed. "Guess she hit him one time too many. I warned her not to lay a hand on him, but she didn't listen to me. She got what was coming to her. Does that frighten you, Neil?" "My first memories are of people dying," Neil said. "I'm not afraid of you." "That's why you're so interesting," Andrew said. "How aggravating." He sounded amused, not annoyed, so Neil said, "I'll try to be more boring in the future." "How considerate.”
― Nora Sakavic, The Raven King

“Neil didn't know if this break in routine was grudging trust or determination to not let Neil out of sight again. Neil didn't care right now so long as Andrew stayed.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men