Choosing Clarity Quotes

“All bad behavior is really a request for love, attention, or validation.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“The world needs people who have survived mistakes, tragedies, and trials to help the rest of us through. Where would we be if Victor Frankl had never experienced what he did during the war? He wouldn’t have used his experiences to benefit millions of people around the world.
The world needs you to let go of self-pity and shame regarding your life experiences, too. The world needs you to use the things you have learned for good. Stop letting your past mistakes define you and affect your value. Let go of separation and victimhood and find meaning in what you have been through.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Your life will always be the perfect classroom journey for you and every experience that shows up in your journey is here to serve you. There is meaning and purpose behind everything that happens. There are no accidents which means your suffering through difficulties is never for nothing. Your life matters and everything you experience matters. Your trials are there to help you become a better person and trusting this is truth will take some of the sting out of them. Suffering becomes more bearable if it at least counts for something.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Most people spend the majority of their lives in fear, focused on themselves, casting everyone around them as bad guys. They almost can’t help it, because it happens subconsciously and they don’t know any other way to be. When you understand that most human behavior is driven by fear, you will understand why people hurt or offend you. You will understand it isn’t about you at all. Their bad behavior is caused by their fear of failure and loss.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“If you spend your energy condemning and judging the people who mistreat you it puts you in a condemning and judging mindset, which subconsciously makes you feel condemned and judged too. The more judgmental you are, the worse your self-esteem will be.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Even though life is difficult as times, you must understand that these challenges are not here to beat you, defeat you, or squash you like a bug. Life is not against you (even though it feels that way sometimes). Every single experience is in your life to serve your process of growth and learning. Every situation you experience serves that purpose and is ultimately for your good.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“The purpose and point of this life is to learn and love – and it may be more specifically to learn to love.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“You have probably worked your entire life to create a sense of identity around your job, your family, your hobbies, or your physical characteristics. But none of these is who you really are. You are not what you look like. You are not your family. You are not your job, income, or performance. You are not your current situation or the mistakes you have made. Mistakes are just locations on your journey; they have nothing to do with who you are, and neither does what you do or how successful you are.
You are bigger than all those things. You are much more than just a businessman or a mom or a student. You are a divine, irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, amazing, loving, eternal being, and your value comes from that fact alone. You come from God, who is love, which to me would mean - you are love too. You have to be. And if you are love then nothing you do or don’t do can change your value, because no matter what you do or how many mistakes you make, you are still YOU; you are still LOVE. You can’t help it. You cannot be anything else.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Fear causes problems in your life because it fogs the lens through which you see yourself and your world.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“No one can repair your self-esteem for you. Your spouse cannot fix it. Your parents cannot fix it. Your boss cannot fix it. No amount of success or beauty enhancements can fix it. You have to fix it by changing the way you see yourself. You have to choose to see yourself accurately, to see life as a classroom, and commit to the policy that you have the same value no matter how you perform. It is time to claim the power to do this and not let anyone take your self-esteem from you again.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“I have worked with many people over the years who struggled with basically hopeless problems – negative situations that for the most part could not be fixed or changed. In these situations there was always one very powerful thing they could change. They could change their perspective. They could make a fundamental change in how they saw themselves and their lives, and this always made the situation more bearable.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“You are a divine, irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind soul, and there is no other achievement, title, or role that is more meaningful than that. Your qualities and attributes and how you treat other people are the only thing about who you are that really matters.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Your happiness does not depend on your situation or your results; it depends on how you choose to think about yourself, your situation, and your results.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“When a person feels appreciated for their infinite and absolute value, you can then communicate about any issue and you will have their cooperation and respect.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Your number one task here is forgiving yourself and the people who mistreat you. You must learn to do this if you want to experience real happiness and peace in this life. You must do this if you want to feel accepted, valued and safe. The only way to feel innocent and worthy – is to give it to other people. That is just how it works.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Most people think that once they lose the weight or make more money they will finally feel good about them themselves, but they are usually disappointed when they get there to find they don’t feel better. This happens because real self-worth can’t be earned. Real self-worth comes from understanding the truth about who you are and understanding that your value is infinite and absolute no matter what. This is the only way to peace.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“At this very moment you are probably basing your value on how other people value you, even though most of the time, you don’t even know what these people really think. You are assuming what they think based on behavior you interpreted. In truth, most people don’t think about you at all. They are too focused on their own stuff. And if they do think about you, they probably don’t think what you think they think. You are most likely projecting your own fears of not being good enough onto them. What you think they think tells you more about your own opinion of yourself than theirs.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Remember every mistreatment experience shows up to give you the opportunity to learn love at a deeper level. You don’t need to defend yourself because you cannot be diminished. You must understand that defensiveness doesn't protect you. It actually makes you feel more vulnerable and unsafe. In protecting yourself you are embracing the idea that you can be hurt and this will only create more fear in your life. If you embrace fear and judgment you are choosing to live in fear and judgment.
If you choose to let go of the need to protect and defend yourself and put down your defenses because you understand you cannot be hurt - you will actually feel safer. When you choose to feel bulletproof, infinite and absolute all the time, no defense is ever necessary.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“The reason you might not be creating the life you want is that you are making most of your decisions unconsciously, and most of your subconscious policies (programs and rules) are fear-based and inaccurate. These inaccurate policies are sabotaging your success, because they don’t want the very things you think you consciously want.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“There are two forces in the universe: fear and love. Trust is part of love because it makes you feel safe, and it is only in this state that you are capable of love.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“The universe uses every experience you have to help you grow and learn. No experience is wasted. Every choice you make and everything that happens to you because of other people’s choices become your perfect lessons. As you learn to trust this truth, you will experience less fear and more peace.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“The most significant way you can edify another person is to see them accurately as the same as you, listen to them, and honor their right to their own thoughts and feelings.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“When a baby chick hatches, it often struggles for a long, long time, and you can get impatient watching the little guy struggle. You might be tempted to help him out and break a little bit of the shell away and make it easier for him to escape, but if you do, he will die. You will rob him of a process specifically designed to make him strong. It is only through this struggle that he can gain the strength to survive his life. It is crucial (if you love him) that you let him struggle his way out of this challenge on his own.
Your life works the same way. The challenges you currently face are there to help you become stronger and smarter too. They are probably forcing you to learn and grow. If you were rescued from this situation, it might rob you of a process you need to become the person you are meant to be.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“If you don’t consciously choose trust and love in each moment, your subconscious policies will choose for you, and they usually choose fear.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Life is not out to get you, even though it feels that way sometimes. You are totally safe every step of the way (at least you have the option of seeing life that way if you want to). Life is about learning to walk the tightrope, find your balance, and trust God, life and yourself in the process. And you can do this, because there is really nothing to fear. When you get this concept it is going to change everything.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“Be a good person, do good things, learn, and love other people, but do these things because you love yourself, God, life and people, not because you fear going to hell if you don’t. Keep the commandments (or whatever tenets you believe) because you want to be happy. Do it for you. God and the universe will unconditionally love you no matter which path you choose. You can learn whatever lessons you choose for yourself. If you want to learn things the hard way and experience fear, guilt and shame that is okay. But nothing you do (or don’t do) can separate you from love.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“If life is a classroom then you’re still in the learning process part. In the learning process part, if you make a mistake you can just erase it and try again. In a classroom your mistakes deserve course correction and education, not punishment. Here the goal is to teach you how to behave better, not to fail or get rid of you. In a classroom, you can be a work in progress, and that’s okay.
In a classroom, you are free to make mistakes in order to learn, because mistakes are part of learning. There are still consequences to every choice, but in a classroom you can’t fail, because your value isn’t on the line. If life is a classroom, you have the same value no matter how much you struggle, how many mistakes you make or how you perform. If life is a classroom you are safe.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“You will have the ability to see other people accurately as divine, amazing, irreplaceable, human beings in the process, just like you. You will have the ability to forgive them and live in wisdom and compassion. You can do this because all of these qualities are in you. In fact, they are who you really are.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“You cannot be diminished by what other people think of you. Your value is infinite and absolute. It does not change. What other people think of you is irrelevant.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

“You are an irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, amazing being. There will never be another you and this fact alone makes you infinitely and absolutely valuable. Having absolute value means you cannot be diminished by anything or anyone. You are bulletproof and nothing can change your value.”
― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness