Donnie Corrêa's Reviews > Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

THANK YOU

I think it depends on the actual "personality" of the woman reading this book , eventually it's her decision to consider what advices she should follow or not ,, some or none of them as far as I'm concerned , only the truly intelligent and respectful lady knows how to understand any written so-called 'RULES' of that kind fully and well enough to calculate for herself .. 
But having read like only the first ten pages ..I thank you for your 'gentleman' opinion on what I think should have been not merely a whole waste of time but also an window for an idea  about different prespectives no matter how dumb and silly they might be .. Just for the sake of experience I guess !

Sorry if I made it too long :)

Oh dear, am I in trouble. Being one of,The Nice Girls(TNG). Did lay all my cards on the table. Problem, occurred usually in the first conversation. You know my type, to much information to soon. Feels like projectile vomiting all over your, metaphorically speaking, fun-time shoes. You know, "Would you like a drink"? Suddenly your listening to, who knows what.
The book asks that, TNG, look at her presentation style. Is it attracting the style and personality she is looking to spend some time with right-now. It could change. To TNG, keeping your cards close, means something and it's not what "Bitches hears". TNG, hearing how offal it is for men to be manipulated by woman who cheat by not laying all their cards on the table immediately. Don't get ill, the story is true. Out on FIRST DATE, he tells, TNG, with a pained expression, how betrayed he'd been by, women not laying all their cards on the table, oh, immediately. TNG ears heard, he's been hurt, he's so ----- how could anyone do that to him. TNGs follow-up words and actions, reflect an attempt not to have him go through pain like that again, all TNG skills on alert. The B hears the same words, wonders why someone who makes such a good first impression has such eliminatory relationship skills.

Words of the wise.

Not done reading this book yet and I already disagree with a lot of things.. I'm pretty sure that not all men are d*ckheads who I have to calculate and assess to keep him interested.

OK: Bitch (Babe In Total Control Herself) or N/G (Nice Girl) Lady Di? Why does she qualify for the honor.

This book is for women.Don't blame the ones who read it.Also,the fact that you immediately thought that all women would resort to tricks to get what they want and rightfully deserve,indicates that you expect too little from them.I got my eyes on you.

Hala wrote: "I think it depends on the actual "personality" of the woman reading this book , eventually it's her decision to consider what advices she should follow or not ,, some or none of them as far as I'm ..."

Thanks for your reply, Hala. Indeed, a woman should be able to see for herself - my review was made freshly after I was done with the book and I my hatred for it was just as fresh. However, you are right about the different perspectives. :D

Florence wrote: "Oh dear, am I in trouble. Being one of,The Nice Girls(TNG). Did lay all my cards on the table. Problem, occurred usually in the first conversation. You know my type, to much information to soon. Fe..."

Thanks for both of your replies, Florence. First, there is a false dichotomy between Nice Girl and Dumb Fox a.k.a Bitch. Those two profiles fall as extremes of the behavioral palette.

The problem you describe is, in my opinion, not really a thing about nice girls - it's about naive people. Now, notice I'm not using naive as a derrogatory term, but rather as a follow-up term to emotional immaturity: I have been down that mile and so has everyone else in the world, but self improving requires, in my book at least, honesty and resilience while the key virtues of the dumb fox are dodging and guile.

To temper the naivety with some malice in important, but everything must come in moderation. Much like steel, if it's too hard, it becomes brittle. If it's too soft, it becomes worthless.

Hope you don't mind the lenght of the reply. :D

Tien wrote: "Words of the wise."

and

Honey wrote: "Not done reading this book yet and I already disagree with a lot of things.. I'm pretty sure that not all men are d*ckheads who I have to calculate and assess to keep him interested."

Tien and Honey, thank you for your replies. I am very happy that you could see my case here. I know many of us - men - out there are no good, but paying in the same coinage will just increase the number of insufferable people per square mile. I'm glad you feel the same way.

Barbara93 wrote: "This book is for women.Don't blame the ones who read it.Also,the fact that you immediately thought that all women would resort to tricks to get what they want and rightfully deserve,indicates that ..."

Thanks for your reply, Barbara93. I feel, however, I wasn't really able to get my message through; that, or we have very different conceptions about life.

I'll do this in parts:

1. This book is for women.

I disagree. This book is marketed for women, yes, but all books belong to it's readers and each and every reader is free to make up his or her mind about any piece of work.

2. Don't blame the ones who read it

I haven't. In fact, in my whole review, I have blammed no one for no thing. I was judgemental and I exposed my cause-consequence nexus, but I pointed no fingers whatsoever.

3. Also,the fact that you immediately thought that all women would resort to tricks to get what they want and rightfully deserve,indicates that you expect too little from them.

This part is a little bit awkward, because not only I never said that, but I also said the diametrical opposite: NOT all women are like that. I'll quote myself:

- Donnie says [...] "The "dumb fox" - the archetypical woman who plays dumb to get what she wants and that is also the star role in the book - is not the woman I would look for, neither as a companion, nor as a friend. In fact, I'd like to keep all dumb foxes and their falsehood as away from me as I could.

I want a woman who has no need to deceive, nor is conceited and also not afraid to speak up for herself. She doesn't "keep her cards close", but puts everything in the table when the other side follows".

I believe I have painted a vivid picture of the women I want to keep a distance from - the dumb foxes - and the women I'd like to keep around as friends, colleagues, business partners and love affairs - most of the other ones.

4. I got my eyes on you.

Thank you very much for your attention and kindness. My text may not be as clear as I'll be now, but I'll say it with every word.

I love women - not only sexually, I love the feminine gender: more than half of the people I love in the world are women and I'm well aware that there's a 1/2 chance I become a father to a girl, if I ever have children.

The thing is, it's not about women. It's about people. The people described in this book are looking for autonomy in the wrong place. Autonomy should come from confidence and strengh of character, not from lies and pose. That's mimicry, and it only takes one so far.

Donnie you're the best. Thank you for being emotionally respectful. It's apparent you're a good guy and why wouldn't you love these mysterious, baffling, woman. I would encourage all emotionally wise women to mentor, it's great fun when you're told, "It worked". Timing and presentation, not sure how knowing this is deceptive. Love stories: A young man with turrets set out to succeed at controlling the symptoms and succeeded, when in public and when in a safe place allowed the auditory release. Now looking for a relationship. He has a screening system on when/if he discloses, how soon, etc. I think this is wise not deceptive?

Donnie, can only speak from my experience, at one time, if you'ed said to me, the very wise words, ..."Autonomy ... confidence, strength of character. I'd of thought, "Need to scrub the floor cleaner, spice up the adult play and dam those thighs, what was that sexy position I read about that conceals "fat thighs"? When do we disclose what and how, is an everyday event. If I chose not to disclose (something, anything) am I really lying through omission or being aware, learning from mistakes avoiding other through the relationship wisdom mentors? Really great couple, married friends said, "This is obvious." after reading the book. "Really?", me. "You nice girls work far to hard." They had some of the coolest fights, with the greatest respect, operated off, No character assassination.
If it occurred, a repair was in order, once they stopped sparing. Fun.

Donnie,thank you for explaining your view to me.I think Iwas a little harsh,and I was feeling a little emotional at the time,thus I did not take the time to analyze your opinion.I am also grateful that you took the time and effort to calmly explain to me your view.English isn't my first language and I don't really understand the intricacies and meanings sometimes.But that doesn't justify my attack on you.I hope you can accept my sincerest apology and hopefully become a friend.
P.S.Let me rephrase the part "I got my eyes on you".I will look forward to more of your reviews on other books.I happen to find different opinions quite refresing in the ways I view things.

Hopefully,I'll hear from you.
Varvara

second the motion

I liked this review - and disscusion under even more! BTW I fully agree with Donnie C. (and Izzia, which have review just above) - I get my hand onto some "how get laid" type self-"improving" books and were truly discousted. I would hate to be with myself, if I would become someone who whould be able to follow those adviced. I believe in honesty and for me is much more importand to be understood (and felt) then just "get" someone like she/he was some price you need to win.

Interesting review. Just read almost all of the book and not sure what to think of it. In a way I don't want it to be true about guys. On the other hand as you said. It may be true for most guys. I am not sure what the guys that I like think of it. That's what worries me. What if this actually gives a way for women to capture hearts of men who actually ARE great? I know a guy who was great and on whom some of the techniques in this book have worked (didn't read the book back then ) and It made me lose the initial attraction to the guy, especially because it worked. The same for another nice guy who fell for a girl who would have been the stereotype for using such a book.. s it possible that men are oblivious what they truly find attractive long-term?

Tomás - Thank you very much for you kind reply. I'm glad we agree on that, because it really is sad to pursue an objective so shallow and insubstantial as getting "the prize".

Vita - Thanks for the attention and for the reply. You ask "Is it possible that men are oblivious what they truly find attractive long-term"?

My answer is yes, it could be. Like I said before, naiveté, specially with our emotions is entirely possible and something we all go through in our lives.

It really boils down, however, to the profile you are looking for to by your side: I, particularly, have a hard time being around people that have no emotional maturity. I find that the most basic thing a lady can offer me in her pitch to be by my side is to WANT to be by my side. I'm not going to persuade anyone to be with me; not am I even going to try such a thing.

In all faith and sincerity, even having spoken to you only this once, if I was going to wish someone to be with you, I'd wish you someone whose eyes would spark at the thought of you - that you desired so hard as that person desired you back - that you were a team. If you would pardon my deeply brazillian sensibilities, do you even imagine yourself feeling "saudade" for some person that would fumble his feelings for you?

Hey Donnie, thanks for your gentle review. I actually read this book because of your review! Just to see how come someone concluded something totally different yet truly making sense.

First and foremost, I will give this book a thumb up (sorry ;-P). The parts regarding male psychology are very interesting and helpful. The stories / observations in this book are definitely eye-opening for those very conservative, submissive and kind ladies. They may be offering their bloody hearts yet are never truly respected, and they feel miserable for never knowing why.

But indeed (and as the author also emphasized), all those stories and rules concluded are behaviors through observation. What really matters is that, think through what kind of personality / self-worth is behind that behavior, i.e. the CORE. It is a great reminder for girls to keep up their self-esteem and self-actualization.

And regarding the guys, honestly, no matter how educated, how gentle the guy is, we cannot deny this: humans are humans are humans... There are some psychology traits which are hard-wired in the brains and even ultra-high education/cultivation cannot remove. Moreover, in this world dominated by individualism, people will pursue their own happiness more; so, sadly, it really doesn't matter if he realizes/appreciates the kindness or not --- kindness does not kindle you anyway --- if no "spark", bye bye... That "appreciation = love" probably only works for our parents' generation when they tolerate a lot out of appreciation.

Now, as girls, we should never focus on the ways of calculation and manipulation; however, it is crucial that, learn to distinguish and identify a guy on your similar level based on his behaviors. Girls can use this book as a dictionary. Some behaviors are super cheap, so keep them in mind. If you are desperate, get a desperate guy; if you are really so weak and dependent and cannot change it, then get a guy who truly needs a servant type of girl in his life; if you are independent and value yourself very well, then rest assured after reading this book: quality guys on your level will approach you in the future; before that, don't cater to anyone unworthy.

So - I was - and still am - a nice girl that doesn't take any shit. lol Loved your review. usually, when 'how to' books crop up, I look at them sideways, as they tend to give bad crap-assed advice. Scheming and manipulation should never be the way to win someone.

Donnie. Yes i think you're quite right. I read this book right after my breakup. There were some useful tricks. It worked with most men. And these were the ones i wanted to pursue me. It felt good in the aftermath of the breakup. But i ended up being very picky about men. This wasn't altogether a good idea because the false pretence of being the "modified" bitch or whatever wasn't working with me clearly. When i fell in love again I happened to follow none of the rules. We are working out pretty well. But here is what i believe, when it comes to relationship - If it doesn't work out make sure youbhave yourself to fall back to. And please don't follow this book. Its not crap but it creates the wrong kind of mindset. Makes you look conceited, a little i think.
Thanks again Donnie. :)

Your review just made me want to read this book even more. THANK YOU! Lol

Proof you either didn’t read the whole book or didn’t really pay attention to it: “Since this is a book for women, I would be remiss if I didn’t include some recipes...”, line 4 of page 7. You’re welcome!

Jessica wrote: "Your review just made me want to read this book even more. THANK YOU! Lol"

Hello, Jessica, thank you for stopping by and giving this review your attention. As for the suggestion, you are welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it: I tried to discourage people from reading it but I'm by no means a stranger to the charms of not doing what people advise me to.

Jessica wrote: "Proof you either didn’t read the whole book or didn’t really pay attention to it: “Since this is a book for women, I would be remiss if I didn’t include some recipes...”, line 4 of page 7. You’re welcome!"

Well, thank you once more for pointing that out: as you may gather from the release date of my comments, I no longer have a copy of the book and because I have read every word in it, I wouldn't download it to check that specific passage, not to save my live. :D

It did not escape me that the author made an effort to clarify her excesses while disguising themselves as "tips", but the central argument of the book is still the dumb fox, to which three possibilities come to mind: If the author is (1) performative while saying it, then my critique is that this is third-rate fiction. If she is (2) being downright insincere, then kudos for selling the book, more harm has been done by others in the name of marketing and I guess there is no evil in making a living, but any merit the book might have is moot and, if she is being sincere (3) then I'm afraid I'll stick with my original points.

This is what you say but looking at the majority of people, somehow those manipulativ women have husbands while the other struggle to find someone to be with. Of course you could argue it's a matter of priorities but let's face it: usually there are more women in the population than men.

Koziołek wrote: "This is what you say but looking at the majority of people, somehow those manipulativ women have husbands while the other struggle to find someone to be with. Of course you could argue it's a matte..."

Thank you for your reply, Koziotek. Perhaps you are right: this strategy can make you find a relationship easier, but considering that all over the world we are seeing an explosion in the number of divorces and a very sad phenom called "fatherlessness epidemic", I do think finding a mate is less of a priority than finding a *suitable* mate. Personaly I hate being lied to and find it grounds for completely cutting people out of my life, regardless of how I feel.

If you feel otherwise, please don't let me stop you or suggest you can't be very happy living diferently. Once more, thank you for engaging. :D

I think people misunderstand the intent of the book overall. This book was published in 2011 and was the biggest response to pick-up-artist game. Her principles were established to counter toxic masculinity and the growing issues with the so-called "pimp game" behaviors that men were starting to put out because of the book The Game that got released a few years prior (2005) and has become the basis of other books like Pimpology, and PIMP: The Story of Iceberg Slim.