Maxine (Booklover Catlady)'s Reviews > Ugly Love: A Survivor’s Story of Narcissistic Abuse

This is one of the best books from a Survivor’s perspective I’ve read. The author describes her own painful and devastating journey with her Narcissistic mother and then the abusive Narcissistic man that was her husband for many years.

It’s more than just her story which I related to so much with both relationships but it’s informative as to what Narcissist’s do and how there are varying degrees of it.

It has a brilliant extensive section on gaslighting, most books cover it but this really dissects the crazy making way it messes you up. I got so much from that.

Another unique aspect I love about this book is the powerful advice given about how to divorce the Narcissist with the least amount of pain and damage. This is excellent advice and it’s US based but a lot can be applied to divorce anywhere.

The writing style is personal, I felt like the author and I were having a chat. I read the book in one sitting and despite reading lots about this insidious form of abuse I got lots new from this.

The chapter and messages on healing yourself are really good and if you are a Christian like me there are references to particular podcasts, YouTube videos and speakers to watch/listen. If you are not a Christian don’t worry, the book will speak to anyone. The Christian links are provided near the end. However know that God abhors abuse and never expects you or your children to stay and suffer. You may find some of those resources comforting.

I’ve had more than one Narcissist in my life and I’m now divorced from the worst of the lot. I know too well how even the strongest woman can end up not even being able to get out of bed and believe she’s not doing enough to make her abuser happy. Recovery from this abuse is not easy but so necessary so the pattern is not repeated. The good news? It takes time but you can heal and have a healthy relationship pattern going forward.

I highly recommend this book. No doubt about it, this one will give you a lot of clarity. Be kind to yourself. Five stars from me!

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