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Edwin John Moorhouse Marr's Reviews > Death in the Victorian Family
Death in the Victorian Family
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As someone interested in death and grief in the 19th century, this really is essential reading. I enjoyed many of Jalland's discussions, particularly regarding abnormal grief, saying that Queen Victoria was exceptional in the way she grieved for Albert, and yet many modern scholars see her grief as normal, indicative of the excesses of the age. I also enjoyed her discussion of the good and bad deaths, and chapters on changing theological attitudes to death throughout the century. However at times, I found Jalland's use of letters and diaries - whilst invaluable for the social/historic study she is offering - nonetheless became tedious. Although it helps to build up a rich framework for the topic she is exploring, it did get a little boring now and then hearing letter by letter accounts of how people responded to death. But maybe that is just me approaching this book from a literature perspective, rather than as a historian. I also found Jalland's exclusively middle and upper class approach - whilst understandable - nonetheless limits the reach of her study, I would be interested to see some comparisons and contrasts with grief in working class homes, and whether the abandonment of faith she foregrounds over the century, was prevalent in poorer households too. All in all though, a very interesting book, and a must-read for anyone interesting in death, grief and the 19th century.
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Reading Progress
March 24, 2017
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March 25, 2017
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Started Reading
April 5, 2017
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Finished Reading
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Mir
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rated it 4 stars
Mar 25, 2017 11:37AM
Thanks for the "like," which reminded me of a book I'd forgotten I reviewed. Hope you're enjoying it.
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I have only just started it, but so far I find it very interesting. I am currently researching grief in 19th century Literature, so am interested by this. I agree with you, however, that her focus on purely middle and upper class families is limiting. I've only just started the book, so it might be something she explores, but I am also interested in how you go about measuring grief. When she says Victorians mourned more for dead soldiers than we do, I wonder how you can ever prove something like that. As I say, literally just started it, so it might be something she explores.
I don't remember the details. I would agree that it's very difficult to judge or prove how much someone or some groups feels versus another. Mourning was more accepted culturally in Victorian England; we now, especially Americans, feel a lot of pressure to "get over it" or at least pretend to so that we don't depress those around us.
I agree completely, the same in Britain. It's a post-WW1 thing I think. But I would add a proviso, that I think the sense of 'get over it,' is maybe not applicable to differing cultures and religions, I read some really interesting things about grief in the Judaic tradition, and similarly from what I've read of Hinduism there is a much greater sense of support and a sense that the individual hasn't really gone away. I don't know enough about Islam to know how it responds to grief. But certainly in Christian and secular Western societies, supporting the individual through their bereavement, and recognising the impact of grief, has been largely erased.
Yes, there is so much variation between cultures, individuals, and manners of expression that it seems almost impossible to compare them in any strongly quantifiable way.I know very little about Hindi mourning. I went to one Hindi funeral (a friend's father) where I was struck by the absence of visual mourning. My friend was the only one who cried, and none of her family or husband acknowledged her crying in any way. Maybe she was not supposed to cry? Obviously I didn't ask her.
