Technically the above quote is a spoiler, but I'm not going to tag it. It makes the exact same amount of sense "For the Snark WAS a Boojum, you see."
Technically the above quote is a spoiler, but I'm not going to tag it. It makes the exact same amount of sense in context that it makes out of context, which is to say none. And that is precisely what Carroll intended.
This "agony in eight fits" follows a group of adventurers - including a bellman, a banker, a butcher, and a beaver with a gift for sewing - braving the high seas and uncharted lands to find a beast (or bird, the text doesn't exactly clarify) called a Snark. Why do they need the Snark? What will they do if they catch it? The poem has no idea, nor does it care. It's probably intended to spoof lengthy adventure poems like "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner."
(I wonder if the sewing Beaver in this inspired the sewing Beaver in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. )
If you enjoyed the bizarre poems from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass , you will definitely enjoy this. Weird, funny, and full of Carroll's signature made-up words and zaniness. Recommended....more
Many of my family members are in the same age bracket as Dave Barry and get annoyed by many of the same songs. So this is a fun book to read aloud froMany of my family members are in the same age bracket as Dave Barry and get annoyed by many of the same songs. So this is a fun book to read aloud from, because a) Barry includes enough lyrics to get the awful songs stuck in your head for days and b) he can put together the most hilarious sentences:
Consider the song, "I Am, I Said," wherein Neil [Diamond], with great emotion, sings:
I am, I said To no one there And no one heard at all Not even the chair
...Is Neil...surprisedthat the chair didn't hear him? Maybe he expected the chair to say, "Whoa, I heard THAT." My guess is that Neil was really desperate to come up with something to rhyme with "there," and he had already rejected "So I ate a pear," "Like Smokey the Bear," and "There were nits in my hair."
The book is full of such observations, sure to make you laugh if you're familiar with the song he's roasting.
My only disappointment is that Barry never wrote a sequel featuring all the bad songs from the 50s - 80s era he didn't get to in this one, not to mention all the dreadful ones that have come out since. Annoying or overplayed Christmas songs - particularly "Last Christmas" and "All I Want for Christmas is You", which have roughly 5,897 cover versions each - deserve a mention too.
Barry is my go-to author for short, hilarious books that can be read in one day. This is one of my favorites of his.
While Mal and her three sidekicks have been having fun in the happy land of Auradon, the rest of the reprobates on the Isle of the Lost have been reseWhile Mal and her three sidekicks have been having fun in the happy land of Auradon, the rest of the reprobates on the Isle of the Lost have been resenting them. None more so than Uma, daughter of Ursula the Sea Witch. When Uma and Mal were little, they were best friends. But one day, their childish pranks on each other went a little too far and neither girl was able to forgive the other. Since then, they've kept out of each other's way--and recently Mal's life took a turn involving a nice new school and a handsome prince.
Uma, meanwhile, has been stuck in her own ramshackle neighborhood, helping her mother run a seafood shack. (Raising the question, who would buy food from Ursula?). Uma's only allies are Harry, Captain Hook's swaggering son, and Gil, a son of Gaston who's too dumb to live even by Disney Channel standards.
When a disturbance occurs in the kingdom under the sea, Uma senses it and pulls together a pirate crew to find her mom's old magic shell necklace and generally wreak havoc. It's up to Mal and her posse to stop Uma's plan...
Content Advisory Violence: Little Uma and Mal play pranks on each other and everyone else, some of which resort in very minor peril. The young pirates are menaced by dancing skeletons at one point, but the combat between the two groups doesn't even result in any injuries. Why.
Sex: Uma grudgingly offers to make Harry first mate and he replies "First date if you're lucky." I'm kind of confused by the content standards of these books. I figured that we never see Ben and Mal kiss because the Disney higher-ups consider it too risque for a middle-grade book (let's hope they never find out about Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox), yet this line is allowed to stay in.
Language: Nada.
Substance Abuse: Nothing.
Nightmare Fuel: I suppose very young children might find the skeletons frightening, although all they do is move around in a vaguely menacing way. Anyone over the age of eight is probably just wondering what Ursula looks like in this universe, and what poor human man wound up fathering Uma.
Politics and Religion: At one point, Mal is forced to work her magic and utters a spell which neither makes sense nor even rhymes. That's it.
Conclusions on This Book This series should probably have been a trilogy rather than a quartet, with the second installment combining elements of this book and Return to the Isle. As is, this book is largely a retread of the second one, with the main characters drawn back to the Isle to deal with an old frenemy of Mal's who wants to cause chaos on the mainland.
Uma's a much stronger character than Maddy from Return, not that that's a high bar to clear. Harry has potential--under all that swagger and guyliner, he's so insecure he wears a hook like his dad's even though he has both hands. Is the book, or the movie that follows it, remotely interested in exploring either of them? Hahaha, of course not.
There's one moment that's actually kind of insightful. Ben has to settle a dispute between two bordering city states because the olive trees in the one city keep shedding over the barrier wall into their neighbors' yards. What a petty reason to waste the high king's time! But it makes sense because they've exiled all the real criminals. Silly annoyances like this are all they've got left to complain about.
I continue to be amazed at how a franchise with no real story became so popular. Disney has all these fairytales, legends, myths, nineteenth-century literary adaptations, and their own creations together in one place. The resulting series was never going to be Lord of the Rings, but it could have still provided memorable characters, heartfelt messages, and all manner of adventures. In fact, that's what I thought I was getting with the first book.
But this is not an adventure series. It's a series about nothing, an increasingly common phenomena. These franchises set up a story that seems fun, but then become paralyzed with fear of the fandom. Killing off a character might enrage that character's fans, pairing off two given characters might infuriate the people who shipped them with others, and a big twist will upset people who didn't see it coming even if it was hidden in plain sight.
Writers used to accept that and write what they wanted anyway. There are people who liked the first Star Wars who bailed after "Luke, I am your father." After M*A*S*H(view spoiler)[killed off Henry Blake, the producers were inundated with annoyed viewer responses, including one claiming that the fictional character had been found alive in a raft on a lake in Texas (hide spoiler)]. The majority of viewers stayed with these franchises. Many even liked the stories better now that the stakes were higher.
But nowadays it seems that writers are terrified of getting these reactions, so they produce story-less content where the characters just kind of hang out until the end. Fights end in draws, established pairings are locked together while single characters aren't allowed to pick up a love interest, action scenes have no stakes, redemption arcs are mandated for some characters and forbidden to others, the rules governing the story's universe change on a dime, and any death or major revelation will be undone either immediately or in the next installment. A lot of stories are now confined to a single setting, like a castle or a school, so even the travel element of an adventure story has been abandoned. Everything immediately reverts to the status quo, which is fine if you're writing a comic book, comic strip, sitcom or soap opera. But any other form of story really ought to have a point--a beginning, a middle, an end, and a takeaway.
I don't understand why the Descendants universe contains so many interesting possibilities and is so determined not to use any of them. I get that TV movies don't have the massive budget of theatrical releases--and the CGI on even big movies is starting to look spotty. But strong character development and resonant themes can make a great story even with the fakest sets and effects. And those budget constraints don't apply to books. Like I said, this series was always going to be goofy, but it could have been excellent in its goofiness. Disney has more than enough resources to achieve that. I don't know why they would chose not to.
None of these problems are the fault of Melissa de la Cruz, who writes these books. She tries her best to render the material readable, but she could probably accomplish a lot more if the publishers didn't have such a stranglehold on the writing process. ...more
It's been five years since the second Death Star exploded. With the Emperor and Darth Vader both dead, the remaining bastions of the Galactic Empire hIt's been five years since the second Death Star exploded. With the Emperor and Darth Vader both dead, the remaining bastions of the Galactic Empire have fallen easily before the Rebels, now the soldiers of the New Galactic Republic.
Luke Skywalker is rather busy, being the last surviving Jedi, who is now instructing his sister in the ways of that ancient practice. Leia Organa Solo is a stateswoman, a Jedi apprentice, and an expectant mother of twins. Han Solo uses his smuggling background to negotiate with shady underground figures. Lando Calrissian has become even wealthier through investing in mining.
Considering that the oppressive Empire was only toppled half a decade ago, things are going pretty well for the New Republic. But it's a big galaxy, which means the war isn't quite over yet. In the far reaches, there are disturbances. And closer to home, there's a group of scary aliens stalking the Skywalker-Solo family from planet to planet...
Under the Republic's radar flies Grand Admiral Thrawn, the last Imperial leader, with a master-plan to reforge the Empire...
Lurking on a backwater planet is Joruus C'baoth, a deranged Jedi with a convoluted past and some sort of evil plan involving the Dark Side of the Force...
In the middle lies Talon Karrde, a smuggler just out for his own benefit, and his employee, a haunted young woman named Mara Jade, whose secret vendetta is gnawing away at her soul...
Content Advisory Violence: It's implied that the Noghri kill their prey in gruesome ways, although we are given no description of their killing methods and only a vague idea what their victims look like afterwards. Luke and Mara kill a few predatory beasts. Some spaceships blow up, as you would expect. There is no gore.
Sex: It's implied that the Emperor had a harem, and Mara might have been among their number before being promoted to assassin. One shudders imagining what she might have endured. Thank God Zahn doesnt give us any details. Lando thinks he might have met her once, which is a bit suggestive, knowing Lando.
Language: Nothing, not even of the "made-up words" variety. You know all the goofy gibberish in the Disney EU that's supposed to be swearing? That's not really a thing in this book. Which I appreciated, because a character who repeats "oh, kriff" every three sentences winds up sounding like a moron.
Substance Abuse: Nothing.
Politics and Religion: Just the usual about the Force, which is so vague I can't imagine it offending anyone.
Nightmare Fuel: A character gets stuck alone in deep space, which goes on for two nail-biting chapters. Also Thrawn and the Noghri are kind of creepy-looking.
Conclusions Heir to the Empire is a gem among media tie-in books. It's true to the characters and setting, smoothly adds new material, and proceeds in a logical way from where we left the story.
Obviously, a story about a happy galaxy with no evil or danger left in it would be dreadfully dull. But the Disney sequels, by simply relaunching the Empire under a new name, made Return of the Jedi seem a bit pointless in retrospect. (view spoiler)[ (This was compounded in Rise of Skywalker, since the head honchos in their creative bankruptcy brought Emperor Palpatine back from the dead, without even explaining how. I do not like any of the choices made in that movie. Even the redemption of Ben Solo and his romance with Rey were handled horribly). (hide spoiler)] And I really liked The Force Awakens!
Zahn's idea was the best way forward. He acknowledges that a galaxy is a big place, and it would be hard to depose every member of the old regime at once. He preserves the momentum of the characters from the films, without repeating their arcs or regressing their development. And he gives them a villain to fight who is menacing and mysterious without being anything like either Vader or the Emperor.
I am a big fan of Grand Admiral Thrawn. He's not really evil, so much as a grimly effective man in honorable service to an evil cause. He wants to take over the world but doesn't seem to desire power for its own sake, only to restore the order he feels was lost. He's always ten steps ahead of every other character - in fact, he is the only character in any Star Wars media I'm familiar with who could truly be called smart.
I loved Thrawn's theory that a culture's art tells you the strengths and weaknesses of that culture, and therefore what might be the best route to allying with or conquering them. Throughout everything that happens he stays cool as a cucumber. I really enjoyed the many scenes where he explains his reasoning to the befuddled Pellaeon. Their dynamic reminds me of both Holmes and Watson, and Captain Hook and Mr. Smee.
Joruus C'baoth is more of the standard power-mad, demented villain that I was expecting going in. I'm very glad he was not the main villain, but he's fine as both the foil and pawn of Thrawn. How a crazed Dark Jedi clone who wants to enslave the Skywalkers fits into Thrawn's master plan, I have no idea, but I can't wait to find out. That clones usually wind up losing their minds was a fascinating worldbuilding tidbit that I wish the films could have worked in somehow.
Karrde's all right - pretty much your standard amoral black marketeer who's out for his own gain. It will be interesting to see where his arc takes him, because he was having faint stirrings of integrity at the end of this book.
Mara Jade is what Celaena from Throne of Glass should have been: a gifted, troubled young woman, broken and bitter beyond her years by the abuse she's endured and the guilt from her own crimes. She is, at the moment, evil - but redeemable. She and Luke play off each other really well, and the chemistry between them is palpable. As for Luke, he turns into Gilbert Blythe with a lightsaber when Mara walks into the room. Pretty much every conversation they had went like this:
MARA: I'm going to kill you eventually. I can't wait. LUKE: Why? I've never met you. Why do you hate me so much? MARA: Ugh! You know why. LUKE: Well, if you ever get bored of hating me, I'd happily be friends with you. Thanks for saving my X-wing, by the way! MARA: Ugh, insufferable man.
Luke's adventures in this story are varied and exciting. He faces some major challenges in this story. There were even parts where I was really worried about him. Han and Leia are often in danger, too, but as expectant parents they've got a lot more plot armor. (This was written before shock value deaths became the norm). Leia, particularly, uncovers something rather fascinating about her father that I hope gets expanded upon in the rest of the trilogy.
The non-human film characters - C3PO, R2D2, and Chewbacca - are all utilized well. Just like in the original movies, they are a lot more than appliances or pets. They are actually characters rather than props.
My only gripe with this book is the pacing. Most of the chapters are long, and space battles can get rather monotonous without the visuals and music. It seemingly takes forever for Luke to fall into the hands of Karrde and Mara. The book ends with the other main characters only just finding out that a Grand Admiral Thrawn is behind their problems.
I can see why Disney decided to scrap the EU when they bought Lucasfilm. It would have been very difficult to incorporate hundreds of books, comics and games into a narrative that casual moviegoers could still follow. And adapting this specific novel and its two sequels would probably not have worked, given that the original cast were several decades older and recasting them probably wouldn't go over well (I think that that had more to do with the box-office failure of Solo than either Disney or the fans are willing to admit).
But I don't understand why they had to scrap the whole post-Return of the Jedi canon. I don't see how the existence of Thrawn or Mara Jade would mess up the plot of The Force Awakens. (Certainly no worse than the subsequent movies did!). I think most viewers could accept that other threats had arisen in the thirty years between films, and that (view spoiler)[Luke had married a woman named Mara Jade, who had once served the Dark Side. Heck, Disney could have used Luke and Mara's relationship as foreshadowing and precedent for the similar attraction between Kylo and Rey. (hide spoiler)]
Unlike either the prequel trilogy films or the sequel trilogy films, Heir to the Empire is consistently true to the characterizations, worldbuilding and feel of the original three Star Wars films. It's well-written, intriguing, sometimes poignant, and just fun to read. I can't wait to see where this story goes. ...more
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