I've been trying to read a book on menopause for the past three years and I've finally completed one! This British-published collection of essays is wI've been trying to read a book on menopause for the past three years and I've finally completed one! This British-published collection of essays is wide-ranging and contains many perspectives. I found a few of the entries confusing / hard to get through, but I appreciated the overall effect: many individual Black voices describing their experiences with family, gender and gender expectations, natural health, Western Medicine, and how this life change for so many has been systematically ignore or obscured, across countries and cultures. There's so much to learn, and now that women and people with ovaries and uteruses have enough power to launch and fund our own research, we're on the path to knowing more. As an American, I'm often intrigued to hear what our sisters across the waters are dealing with, and what advantages they may have over us in the US. I'm glad that these voices are my entry into this discussion. ...more
I wanted this book to tell me how I’ve made a perfectly reasonable decision (insomuch that I actually made a decision) to forgo having kids. I want4.5
I wanted this book to tell me how I’ve made a perfectly reasonable decision (insomuch that I actually made a decision) to forgo having kids. I wanted to hear about other women who made a similar decision —and I kind of did but this book is actually about how women’s choices have been constrained throughout the centuries. The author disabuses herself of her own prejudices and bias around women who do have kids and the so called gap between childless people and moms —as in, she wants to eliminate that gap because it serves only the status quo, which doesn’t give a lick about ANY women.
Still. I wanted to celebrate, while also not dissing moms. Not much of that here.
Final note: I deeply appreciated how sensitive the author is to race and class dynamics, eg any discussion of population control will have vestiges of past efforts to limit the population of marked peoples (Indigenous, Black, disabled, poor, and other identities deemed undesired by powered and wealthy people.)...more
Brilliant. The shape this book takes is smart, inspiring, unique, and informative.
I grew up in a house my family owned because my paternal grandfatheBrilliant. The shape this book takes is smart, inspiring, unique, and informative.
I grew up in a house my family owned because my paternal grandfather was very clever and got his hands on GI Bill money, or something similar, when most Black people in his generation were being denied the same. He sold the bungalow I grew up in, on the Jersey Shore, to my parents for something like $1. If this hadn’t occurred, I would have had the same experience as much of Black America —locked out of the stability and potential for wealth afforded to the white working and middle class people of my parents generation.
I have a ton of ambivalence about home ownership (although my brother and I both own) yet I feel very clear about what I want for Black America. I also really love interior design books, which I’ve inherited from my mother’s interest in design. It’s rare that I see a book like this, as satisfying to read as this one! The authors make a solid point: Black America is largely missing from this genre (as is Indigenous America, Asian American, Latinx America, and so on.) I hope this book is the first of many, many, many, many.
Also, as a big fan of his, it was a treat to discover author Jason Reynolds among those featured.
Definitely buying a copy of this book for my mom!...more
Charming, sweet, short peppy poem-raps with Shel Silverstein-esque charming, silly, and clever doodle illustrations. Good way for the author & i❤️❤️❤️
Charming, sweet, short peppy poem-raps with Shel Silverstein-esque charming, silly, and clever doodle illustrations. Good way for the author & illustrator to keep their names in people's mouths, and accumulate inoffensive passive income. Would this book exist if either Lin-Manuel or Jonny Sun weren't crazy accomplished or famous? Nope. Am I mad at it? Only a little. Get your coins, gentlemen.
Beautifully designed with lovely photos of the essayists. I found some of the writing a little impenetrable, but appreciated the overall concept and bBeautifully designed with lovely photos of the essayists. I found some of the writing a little impenetrable, but appreciated the overall concept and breaking down of the 'strong Black woman' ethos in a thoughtful and positive way....more
Although I've known about this book since it arrived on the scene in 2021, I didn't pick it up to experience for myself until after leading a mini-zinAlthough I've known about this book since it arrived on the scene in 2021, I didn't pick it up to experience for myself until after leading a mini-zine workshop where I realized how difficult it is to break through some participants' nervousness or perfectionism in a short, 1-hour event. I went to The Anti-Racist Writing Workshop for tips on reconsidering instructing / teaching and how to create a welcoming space for all levels of participation. What I received was a vulnerable-powerful, beautifully written 1/3-writerly-autobiography, 1/3 protest-manifesto, 1/3 practical tools for disempowering overwrought teaching practices, opening the window, and bringing breath and life back in. I wrote down many quotes, and I'll be thinking about this book and it's courageous author for a long, long time.
Quick side note: I started formal creative writing instruction at the conclusion of my middle school years and followed that path through undergrad. I was this close to applying for a Masters program. Soooooo glad I dodged that path towards self-doubt and suffering! Reading this book made me ever grateful to my high school writing instructor Karen Haefelein, whose instruction approach I know believe to be very ahead of its time, to Lahna Diskin (sp?) who treated me with deep kindness and saw herself as a sort of art-mother to myself and fellow NJ Governor's School of the Arts summer fellows, and to my college kids' lit / creative writing instructor Lisa Jahn-Clough who never once made me feel diminished or alone, encouraging and warm towards me even after I graduated....more
What it says on the tin, but cooler. Unfortunately, I'm not so cool as to understand most of the references, since I not a big hip hop fan and there'sWhat it says on the tin, but cooler. Unfortunately, I'm not so cool as to understand most of the references, since I not a big hip hop fan and there's no guide to the covers. Enjoyed it nonetheless....more
I started grumpy with this book and graduated to having it completely explode my worldview and arm me with tools for working towards the liberation ofI started grumpy with this book and graduated to having it completely explode my worldview and arm me with tools for working towards the liberation of all types of people, especially the currently and future marginalized. Although Ms. Serano drops a lot of F-bombs and seems conventionally crusty in the early essays, where she spends many words pointing out how radical feminists screw over trans-people, she goes deeper mid-book and blooms in the essays that focus on what it means to be marked/unmarked, on double-standards, and how to test for invalidations.
"In addition to teaching people how to recognize and understand different isms, we should also teach them how to recognize the basic forms for invalidations that are repeatedly used to delegitimize and dehumanize people who belong to marginalized groups."
She goes on to name: "the trope of mental incompetence"; sexualizing people; accusations of immorality; saying that those who are supposedly immoral are also sick/ill/unhealthy; assuming that people in question are anomalous; accusations of inauthenticity/unnaturalness/fakeness. BAM! She admits that her list isn't comprehensive and I'd love to see other thinkers use this idea as a jumping-off point.
I also appreciated how she named our continuous devaluing of the feminine. I fully bought into this as a 90's raised feminist, even as I condemned male privilege and power, and I'm beginning the work of turning away from overly uplifting the masculine, culturally.
She had some interesting things to say about nature/nurture that gave me some insights on how to embrace biology (or, at least not throw it out completely) while not also letting people reduce me to my biology/physicality.
Finally, that Serano points out that there WILL BE future struggles beyond what we know today is brilliant. Sometimes I/we live so much in the moment we're blind to what's coming next, and I/we find ourselves calcified around what I/we already know. There's no specific religious/faith bent to her theorizing but, for me, there's a certain secular-Buddhist feel to her call for us to remain awake, balanced, flexible, and ready....more
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Apparently, I belong to a tribe of people who love to plan a killer event: fun, mysterious, meaningful, thoughtful, honoring,LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Apparently, I belong to a tribe of people who love to plan a killer event: fun, mysterious, meaningful, thoughtful, honoring, multi-layered, silly, engaging, dynamic, strange, and discrete. Until reading Priya's book, I hadn't realized such a tribe existed, but now I want to move in with them and talk about the Art of Gathering pretty much all the time. As a person who has organized gatherings of one sort or another since I was a pre-teen, and a person with a lot of confidence in my ability to attract people to a gathering and, once there, make it meaningful for them, I was predisposed to admire this book. I have upwards of 40 passages marked to return to and ponder, which I can assure you I will do. When I read the last (masterfully composed) few paragraphs, I shut the book and thought: is she hiring? I mean, it's like THAT, ya'll. The writing is good, the structures and composition are smart, the stories enlightening or funny or both. Her charge, that we bypass the window dressings of cute decorations and guest lists and go straight to the meat of one's purpose in hosting a gathering or event, is well taken. I'm in! Also, check out Priya's Ted Talk and podcast....more
THE LEMONY RATS WEARING LITTLE JACKETS! #whatthis? #whattheHELListhis? Also, pizza --sometimes you just don't want the whole pie.
Come as you are mightTHE LEMONY RATS WEARING LITTLE JACKETS! #whatthis? #whattheHELListhis? Also, pizza --sometimes you just don't want the whole pie.
Come as you are might be my favorite sex book of all time. No. Scratch that, absolute favorite sex book, favorite humor book featuring sex, favorite sex-positive book, favorite author's/writing-voice, favorite look at why it's important to be gentle with yourself, favorite feminist sex book, favorite explanation of why it's so hard to be a human but also pretty great, from time to time.
That cover would have chased me off --as it probably does some male-identified people. STOP! It's a trick --this book is for anyone who identifies as anything human. It's not as inclusive as it probably will be in future editions (I hope) since current research just isn't there yet for non-binary or gender fluid peoples. Still, there's a lot to gain from Come as You Are. I recommend it, like 100%....more
So much good advice and storytelling here. My favorite thing to continue to think upon is how couples engage with the "third." Also, Perel has the besSo much good advice and storytelling here. My favorite thing to continue to think upon is how couples engage with the "third." Also, Perel has the best, best, best speaking voice and combo-accent. I could listen to her forever....more
I've never read anything like this contemplation of the intersection of race, sexuality, gender, faith and Buddhist thought. I'd read a section and thI've never read anything like this contemplation of the intersection of race, sexuality, gender, faith and Buddhist thought. I'd read a section and think to myself: yeah, I get that. Ten minutes more digesting and I'd tell myself: NOPE! didn't get that. Maybe I just don't have enough exposure to Eastern philosophy and faith teachings? Either way, I really dug how the author came back to the trinity of race/sexuality/gender and refused to separate them, and I understood her to be arguing against the culture that tells people to try to rise about their bodies. As Manuel argues, our experience is rooted in our bodies, there IS NO moving beyond that. This is a powerful work that I'll probably need to revisit again and again for the concepts to really soak in --especially the idea of tenderness, which is state that cannot be sought after or practiced. My one wish is that Manuel told more stories stemming from her life. In particular, I am fascinated that she's only 2 generations removed from American slavery.
First book I've read by a African American student of Buddhism, which I purchased on a whim from a local book shop (something I never allow myself to do!)...more
The frame that this book suggests is pretty darn ingenious and has synched quite nicely with how I view the ways in which people move in the world. I The frame that this book suggests is pretty darn ingenious and has synched quite nicely with how I view the ways in which people move in the world. I can see how understanding where our different needs stem from and how we're oriented differently in terms of our desire for physical connection, words of affirmation, need to feel cherished via giving and receiving gifts, need to spend quality time with one another, and wish for or propensity for acts of service --how reading these as a 'language' is a wonderful and powerful skill to nurture. Additionally, I personally found the 'love tank' idea charming and sweetly hokey. (Whenever I read those words I pictured a diminutive military tank with a big, red heart on the side --though that's not what the author means.) This is useful, helpful stuff!
And THEN there's the Christian world view and, perhaps more strikingly, the conservative (or perhaps political moderate) worldview. Reading about how 'men' are and how 'women' are usually makes me roll my eyes. Reading about these gender roles in the context of adhering to the tenants of Christianity and a Christian god isn't for me at all. My partner (who also read the book) and I agree that there's a lot of gray morality behind some of the author's specific suggestions of how to apply the frame, and I'm not sure how this does or does not dovetail with faith --but a term I'd personally use for some of the author's suggestions is 'manipulation.' That said, I didn't mind the moments Chapman devoted to talking about god and the church. I do take issue with anything implying that female subservience (and, conversely, male dominance) is innate. Good thing the author doesn't do that a lot!
What struck me most about the culture from which this book arrises is that it appears to be at a crossroad. Old ways of male/female interaction must be in-shift if a book like this is leaning hard on feminist (unnamed, of course) ideology --such as: MEN, IF YOUR WIFE REQUIRES ACTS OF SERVICE, LEARN TO VACCUM. :-D Also, single women aren't seen as hideous threats to the patriarchy, and therefore to life itself, and quieter men aren't chastised or instructed to 'man-up'. The times, they are a-changing?* Not quickly, but still.
I listened to the audio book and found Chapman's reading voice super charming. I might have given the book lower marks otherwise!
*Yes, this book is 100% heteronormative. Yes, that's a problem. Also seems to deny the existence of non-white people --also a problem. I'd be curious to see how the people NOT included in this book might take the useful ideas within and run with 'em....more
What I learned: *Everybody loves salt fish *Chinese invention stories war with European invention stories - WHO WILL WIN?! *The planets resources -salt, What I learned: *Everybody loves salt fish *Chinese invention stories war with European invention stories - WHO WILL WIN?! *The planets resources -salt, sugar, oil- inspire ruthlessness in certain types of humans - the urge to Pokémon-collect-them-all is deep seated and endless *It's a lot easier to see mistakes and bad behavior via birds eye view of history *Write down the mundane stuff and leave it around for historians to find, otherwise expect to be forgotten once you're gone *Eccentric behavior pays dividends *Deliciousness travels in all directions, and a lot of it emanates from Asia & Italy *SALT SALT SALT SALT *FISH FISH FISH FISH *It seems to remain ok for historians to talk about human slavery like it's just this thing that, y'know, happens on the way to riches. No biggie *A little humor goes a long way, especially when you're reporting boring stuff *Salt *Fish *Supreme smelliness *What once ruined lives and attracted cash, is now thrown down on our roads with little interest and care *I still care little for dates and places, some things haven't changed since high school *Sweden was once poor --I had no idea! Today they're like the middle class society poster child *So .... what's next for the world's favorite compound?...more
This is a hard book to rate. I'm not sure why? Maybe because it's not really about enjoyment, it's about life and how to weave through the layers of iThis is a hard book to rate. I'm not sure why? Maybe because it's not really about enjoyment, it's about life and how to weave through the layers of injustice, abuse, confusion, and fear to live with awareness and confidence and love, in community. In particular, this book is for black women - grand and great-grand children of American slavery and apartheid. Broadly, anyone can take from it hook's wisdom and sisterly care. Also, I appreciated how ms. hooks quotes from and draws on so many works of literature and non-fiction --of both the black American and self-help and recovery cannons. This book is one to come back to, a study....more
This is a GREAT skip-the-rocks overview of queer theories. It's not a graphic novel, more an illustrated guide. (Think of those 'picture dictionaries'This is a GREAT skip-the-rocks overview of queer theories. It's not a graphic novel, more an illustrated guide. (Think of those 'picture dictionaries' of the '70s and '80s.) Overall, the author and illustrator do a solid job of offering the tenants of difficult-to-pin down ideas; the people, places and situations from whence ideas originated; and offered theories for how these ideas, issues, desires, activisms, theorists, researchers and efforts intersect. My biggest takeaway: Beware the Binary. As much related to sexuality and gender as to more hidden binaries (dark/light; good/bad; , and how to binary-bust by using 'both/and' thinking instead of 'either/or'.
I particularly liked this: "Try to avoid polarizing into either/or binaries . . . ask instead what an idea or representation opens up and closes down . . . remember queer = doing, not being.
I'm glad I read Barker/Scheele's book and definitely plan to keep thinking on what I learned....more
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