Well, this is definitely my favorite approach to getting babies to sleep so far. I like that it is flexible, I like that it is compatible with the "faWell, this is definitely my favorite approach to getting babies to sleep so far. I like that it is flexible, I like that it is compatible with the "family bed," and I like that it does not require letting the baby "cry it out." At this point, I don't know that I will be applying her solution in full, but I have introduced earlier bedtimes and more bedtime routines, with success. I will not be charting my baby's sleep, however. She repeatedly states that charting is necessary to success, but my nights are hard enough without waking up to take notes every time the baby stirs!...more
This little introduction to "ethnopediatrics," the study of child-rearing across cultures, is by no means a how-to manual, but nonetheless may be one This little introduction to "ethnopediatrics," the study of child-rearing across cultures, is by no means a how-to manual, but nonetheless may be one of the better parenting books I've read to date. This is a well-researched, thought-provoking survey of parenting styles among non-human primates and human cultures throughout the world. The conclusion? It is Western child-rearing practices that are "weird."
I loved the indictment of our cultural obsession with "independence" and getting infants to "sleep through the night." Small's observation that American parents rely on pediatricians, who have no training in child development, rather than other mothers, for parenting advice, stopped me in my tracks. I may think a bit more deeply the next time I pick up a book on parenting written by a pediatrician.
Make no mistake, there is a definite agenda here. This is an advocacy piece, and should be read as such. Small is promoting a high-response style of parenting, which may not be possible for everyone (and is probably not 100% workable for anyone in an industrialized country), and you have to take some of her conclusions with a grain of salt. There are also some moments of naivete, as when Small claims that colic doesn't exist in traditional cultures. I'm sure that there is some truth to this (there may well be less colic in cultures where babies are carried and breastfed 24/7), but I know many attachment-parented babies who still meet the definition for colic. Guilt-tripping parents of colicky babies (parents, if you were just more responsive, your baby wouldn't cry so much), doesn't do anyone any good. I believe that there are physiological reasons for colic, and that it is unfair, as well as insanely unhelpful, to blame it on the parents. "Attachment parenting" has gotten a bad reputation because of these kinds of claims.
Finally, readers may legitimately complain that Small surveys relatively few cultures overall, oversimplifies "traditional" cultures, underestimates the differences between traditional cultures, etc. This book is a summary, and it has some real limitations. But I thought it was an excellent, thought-provoking summary.
A side note: The title is terrible. Everyone seems to think this is somehow associated with Our Bodies, Ourselves, when in fact they have nothing to do with each other. At best, the title is painfully unoriginal; at worst, it seems like an attempt to piggy-back onto a better-established brand. Either way: annoying....more
This was released on a Monday, I received it on Friday (Amazon pre-order), and I finished it Sunday. As a how-to manual, it's not my favorite (my favoThis was released on a Monday, I received it on Friday (Amazon pre-order), and I finished it Sunday. As a how-to manual, it's not my favorite (my favorite is Nursing Mother's Companion, but I love love love the anthropological background and all of the discussion of shared nursing arrangements, relactating, our society's "nipplephobia," etc. Good stuff.
Also, Ina May is refreshingly moderate about breastfeeding and weaning - unlike Dr. Sears and others, she resists slavish devotion to the attachment parenting model, instead deferring to the mother's feelings and common sense. I love Ina May!...more
May 25, 2011: I really need to reread this. Last night Joe refused ICE CREAM and picked the BREAD CRUMBS off his macaroni and cheese. It seems we haveMay 25, 2011: I really need to reread this. Last night Joe refused ICE CREAM and picked the BREAD CRUMBS off his macaroni and cheese. It seems we have arrived in the land of extremely picky toddler eating, and I vaguely recall that this book may have been my first warning that this would occur. Why, oh why, do I blithely (and naively) assume that these phases won't affect me and my cute little chubbles?
September 22, 2009: Fun, fun, fun. This is a bit meat-centric (okay, a lot meat-centric), but super light, interesting, tasty-sounding, and funny. There is also a surprising amount of substance here on how to deal with picky eating (answer: laugh it off)....more
Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that you went with the family bed because your baby would not sleep in a crib to save your life, and now you've goLet's say, hypothetically speaking, that you went with the family bed because your baby would not sleep in a crib to save your life, and now you've gotten used to it, but your child continues to wake up approximately one million times per night to nurse and you are tired of being a 24 hour all night wet bar? This book offers this helpful advice: Cosleeping babies nurse a lot; learn to live with it.
Sigh.
I did appreciate the section on safety (cosleeping is as safe or safer than crib sleeping) and the tidbits of history were really interesting, shedding light on why it is that cosleeping has gotten a reputation for being dangerous when it is clearly not.
Other reviewers found the tips on getting your child out of the family bed, and the "10 day" solution for getting your kid to sleep through the night to be helpful, so I am definitely bookmarking that for later. ...more
This is poorly-written and annoying to read, but I like the mellow approach to early (but not insanely early) potty training. If the advice works, I mThis is poorly-written and annoying to read, but I like the mellow approach to early (but not insanely early) potty training. If the advice works, I may up the stars.
Later: Now that the babe is six months old, sitting up (sort of), and eating solids, I started putting him on the potty several times a day. Initially, nothing happened, but in the last couple of days, we had a breakthrough, and now he frequently pees on cue! While some of the other EC books are better-written (though, let's face it, none of them are actually well-written), I really appreciate the very laid-back approach of this book, and the emphasis on eventual early potty-training, rather than a "diaper-free infant," which (while admirable) simply would not jive with my lifestyle as a working mom. I recommend this for folks who are not committed to 24/7 EC but want to get their babies comfortable with the potty before they become stubborn toddlers.
I'm giving the book three stars - awful style, some good content. I will report back again as we settle into our new routines around potty-training....more
An excellent little book for women who wish to continue to breastfeed after going back to work. It is full of practical advice about pumping, finding An excellent little book for women who wish to continue to breastfeed after going back to work. It is full of practical advice about pumping, finding a caretaker, etc., but I don't think that's the book's great strength (that advice can be found elsewhere in greater detail). The best part about this book is the sensitive advice on how to deal with the emotional job of balancing professional life and motherhood, while maintaining a strong attachment to your baby. Real advice without a guilt trip - a refreshing antidote to guilty-working-mother syndrome.
Finally, a book about breastfeeding that is both pro-mothering and feminist! Ms. Pryor goes beyond the cliches about women feeling torn between work and motherhood (ah, the false dichotomy) to really support women through this emotionally challenging transition.
This book also gave me hope that I can continue to breastfeed for a long time, although many of my coworkers have not made it past six months. When I read that the author weaned her baby at 18 months, despite working full time from six weeks postpartum, my heart rejoiced. Maybe it can be done?
I strongly recommend this book to any woman who is facing working and pumping. This is also a great companion to Dr. Sears' books - this is the working mother's addendum to Dr. Sears (attachment parenting minus the mild sexism and guilt about returning to work)....more
This book is almost unbearable. Rebecca Walker tries to be honest and funny, but comes off as whiny, self-indulgent, bitchy, and stereotypically BerkeThis book is almost unbearable. Rebecca Walker tries to be honest and funny, but comes off as whiny, self-indulgent, bitchy, and stereotypically Berkeley (affluent, privileged, obsessed with organic food, alternative medicine, and Tibetan Buddhism). She claims to value motherhood, but she flames her own mother, the author Alice Walker, at every possible opportunity. She claims to be a feminist, but rants that every woman should become a mother. She claims that her rather intense experience of motherhood (she says she could "easily" kill someone to protect her child) is universal, and implies that anyone who doesn't feel this intensity isn't a good mother. While pregnant, she falls into traditional gender roles (she feels her husband is supposed to "protect" her) and claims that this is biological. Finally, the unnuanced generalizations about "Generation X" women and our supposed ambivalence towards motherhood made me want to shake the author and yell, "Speak for yourself!"
The subtitle of the book is "Choosing Motherhood after a Lifetime of Ambivalence," but not only is Rebecca Walker never for a second ambivalent about motherhood (she states she has always wanted to have a baby), she essentially preaches that women are incomplete without it. The book is noticeably lacking in compassion towards women who make different choices in life than she has (including her mother). Especially shocking to me was her assertion that it is not possible to love adopted or step children as much as biological children. Um, what the fuck?
The book obviously says a lot more about Rebecca Walker's hang-ups than it does about women, motherhood, or a whole generation. If she had honestly addressed these hang-ups, instead of constantly drawing broad generalizations from them, the book might not have been so unbelievably terrible.
Her birth experience was the one aspect of the book that felt honest - probably because giving birth is so inherently humbling, it takes everyone down a few notches, and for those two pages, she was incapable of arrogance. Unfortunately, it didn't last....more
I'm not sure whether this is less helpful than other Dr. Sears books I've read, or if I've just overdosed on him a bit, but this is definitely not my I'm not sure whether this is less helpful than other Dr. Sears books I've read, or if I've just overdosed on him a bit, but this is definitely not my favorite. The way Dr. Sears explains it, the answer to all discipline problems is attachment parenting in infancy. I'm a proponent of attachment parenting (with a grain of salt), but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's not going to solve all of my discipline problems later on.
This book hasn't been updated since the 90s, and you can tell. The emphasis is on stay-at-home moms, and the possibility of coparenting (let alone non-heterosexual parents) is not even conceived of.
That said, there are a few concrete suggestions here that seem good, and I'm sure I'll be trying them out. I appreciate Dr. Sears' emphasis on parental authority - it goes to show that attachment parenting does not necessarily mean permissive parenting....more
Okay, this book rocks. The reason everyone recommended this book (and the companion DVD) to me - it works! Really well. I'm a huge fan. I agree with oOkay, this book rocks. The reason everyone recommended this book (and the companion DVD) to me - it works! Really well. I'm a huge fan. I agree with other reviewers that there is a lot of repetition and filler here, but the content is magic. Three to four stars for writing; five stars for results....more
This is probably the most helpful how-to book on labor and birth out there, and I highly recommend it, for pregnant women as well as their partners. IThis is probably the most helpful how-to book on labor and birth out there, and I highly recommend it, for pregnant women as well as their partners. It doesn't have the personal narratives that make Ina May Gaskin's books so wonderful, but everything you need to know is here. This is a great childbirthing class in a nutshell....more
These essays are really underwhelming. The longer I breastfeed my own baby, the more annoyed I get that this book pretends to offer an honest portrayaThese essays are really underwhelming. The longer I breastfeed my own baby, the more annoyed I get that this book pretends to offer an honest portrayal of breastfeeding.
I love personal essays, but these are badly written, whiny, self-important, boring, and worst of all - quite negative about breastfeeding! Pro-breastfeeding advocates (like the La Leche League) are referred to as the "breastfeeding gestapo" and "breastfeeding nazis," and the writers are disparaging about longer-term breastfeeding, and really, breastfeeding in general. Now, it's fine to include some more ambivalent perspectives (speaking as a mom who loves breastfeeding overall, we all have ambivalent moments), but if that were the goal, it would be better to include a balance of different perspectives. Instead, the perspectives offered by these writers is overwhelmingly negative and disparaging of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is not always hunky-dory-wonderful, I agree. But it is also not always cracked-bleeding-nipples! I seek refreshing honesty in personal essays, not defensive bitterness, and the latter is what these essays have to offer.
Also, did I mention the essays are just bad? It's not even well-written anti-breastfeeding propaganda.
The only essays that portray breastfeeding in a positive light are the ones that deal with weaning. Try to figure that out.
UGH. If you are pregnant and reading this book with hopes to breastfeed your baby, just know that this book offers only one side of the story. Don't let it discourage you....more
The first couple of chapters are informative, but The Nursing Mother's Companion is far more informative. The other 300 pages, explaining why breastfeThe first couple of chapters are informative, but The Nursing Mother's Companion is far more informative. The other 300 pages, explaining why breastfeeding is better than formula feeding, were really boring and repetitive. Obviously, it's good that someone is doing this research. But oh, the redundancy! And it's unbearably preachy at times, and I'm pro-breastfeeding....more
I think this is a really helpful book, but I'll report back later on how helpful it actually is.I think this is a really helpful book, but I'll report back later on how helpful it actually is....more
Ah, the politics of childbirth. There is a lot of good information here, and I largely agree with the author, but found her aggressive polemics to be Ah, the politics of childbirth. There is a lot of good information here, and I largely agree with the author, but found her aggressive polemics to be a turn-off at times. If you are looking for an indictment of the "obstetrical mindframe," this is your book. This book does a more-than-adequate job of telling you what you don't want when it comes to childbirth. But if you are looking for helpful hints on how to manage labor naturally (that is, what you do want), look elsewhere (specifically, you might want to try something by Ina May Gaskin). This book is likely to increase your anxiety about labor and childbirth rather than make you feel empowered to try natural childbirth. So while this is a great source of facts, it's not the most emotionally supportive guide I've come across....more
While I really like the laid back attitude of this book, it's almost too flexible. Flexible to the point of resisting dispensing any kind of advice. LWhile I really like the laid back attitude of this book, it's almost too flexible. Flexible to the point of resisting dispensing any kind of advice. Leaving me wondering why I bothered reading it, honestly. If you're feeling weighed down and intimidated by the judginess and dogmatic advice of various childbirthing "methods," this book is good for reminding you that there is no "right" way to give birth. But if you want actual advice or ideas, look elsewhere....more
I reread this to, um, brush up, before this next baby comes along. Having given birth once, some of the stories/anecdotes seemed crazier to me on thisI reread this to, um, brush up, before this next baby comes along. Having given birth once, some of the stories/anecdotes seemed crazier to me on this read. Like when Ina May tells a laboring woman: "Don't think of it as pain. Think of it as an interesting sensation that requires your full attention." And I'm like, hahahahahahaha. SURE. At the same time, on this second read, I understand better what she's trying to achieve by saying that. She's trying to change women view labor, shift their mind frame from pain to "energy." I don't know that I can do this personally, but I "get it" a bit better now....more
Updating this (after reading quite a few other books on childbirth), to reiterate that if you read one book about childbirth in your life, it should bUpdating this (after reading quite a few other books on childbirth), to reiterate that if you read one book about childbirth in your life, it should be one of Ina May's. While other books will scare you, this one empowers....more
Loading...
