What a disappointment! I’ve been searching for this story for years and there was always something to get in my way. So I wanted it more and more, havWhat a disappointment! I’ve been searching for this story for years and there was always something to get in my way. So I wanted it more and more, having already some mental image of how it may look. Based on the summary and the positive reviews I believed it will be a deeply psychological story with a mystery subplot. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with psychological novels.
I have no idea – maybe in Swedish it’s a wonderful read. The author himself translated it into English and maybe he simply wasn’t able to do it well. Let’s be done with saying it – the language is so awful I had hard time finishing this little nightmare. Was it a school essay? Because especially the dialogues sounded like ones that my students used to create. It’s not simplicity, nothing that make you think such style was chosen on purpose. The characters are extremely flimsy, it’s difficult to talk about their personalities in any way. The supposed detective story “with loose ends, clues and cliff hangers” is rather embarrassing and the epic romance can’t play out if the characters have close to no depth.
It all happens so fast that you can’t get attached to anyone, it makes little sense in so many places, and even my favourite usage of a foreign language here felt awkward. The book left me angry because it wasted such a promising premise. It could have been great… But it’s not, it’s absolutely not. Do yourself a favour and avoid it.
(I might be a bit too firm maybe, I had such expectations…)...more
I should start with a confession that although I have lots of problems with the first book in the series, (There are spoilers ahead, please be warned)
I should start with a confession that although I have lots of problems with the first book in the series, “In the Middle of Somewhere”, I read it around six times now. SIX (maybe not the whole but let’s face it, most of it) – and I still say it was problematic and there are themes that make me so angry I feel like throwing the book through the window. Yet the author was able to create scenes I read again and again for comfort, even though the book as a whole was not comforting for me because of how the main character was treated. Anyway, when I read there would be a second part and the new main hero will be the older brother of Daniel, who is the POV from the first book, I wasn’t really excited. Colin was shown as an abusive sibling who hurt Daniel a great deal and it wasn’t just shown in the stream of Daniel’s thoughts. We could see Colin act, hear him and decide for ourselves what kind of person he is. And for me he was an abuser, period.
So in the second part we get Colin’s POV and his romance, as Colin has been secretly gay this whole time. It’s not really that he tries to deny it, he is well aware of his sexuality, he just doesn’t act on it in fear of being exposed. He feels disgusted with himself and all these people who he picks up in a bar to blow him in a dark alley. He is constantly suffering about his situation, angry and aggressive. I guess he was meant to be dark, tormented and broken. What he is, however, for me is mostly confused with his life, suffering all the time and doing nothing about it. I know this is how depression works but Colin doesn’t have depression as it seems – because his problems are later solved by the appearance of a magical dick in some places, so I guess it wasn’t THAT bad. Still, Colin suffers. Please, remember that he suffers. It’s important because this is his main activity for the whole book. SUFFERING. (Should I mention it once more? It gave me headache and seriously, I love angst stories, I breathe for hurt/comfort themes of all kinds.)
Seriously, I can’t remember reading a book with a less likeable hero in a long time if ever. And it’s really not the case that this is a complicated character, bad even, but with some motives, some explanations for his actions that would make you root for him, at least for his redemption. No, of course it’s explained why Colin abused his little brother but okay, you may have a look into a mind of the abuser but it doesn’t mean you start to understand or feel any sort of empathy towards him. You see, Colin made a hell out of his six years younger brother because: a) Daniel was only six or so when their mother died so he didn’t understand the situation fully and craved for affection, which Colin understood as not appreciating how their father and three older brothers, Colin included, were trying so hard (how they were trying we would never know) b) Daniel came out as gay being a teen and Colin’s first reaction was to beat his baby brother so that he throws up because, attention, Colin was afraid for Daniel's well-being c) Colin kept to be jealous of Daniel’s ‘freedom’ so he made sure the boy was left without a family, constantly mocked, humiliated and beaten d) when Daniel was old enough to escape this nightmare Colin decided that the youngest brother didn’t treat them like a family, that he was trying to show that he was better thanks to his education and because Daniel didn’t care, they shouldn’t care for him either.
And mind you – these things are still vivid in Colin’s mind and no, Colin is not eighteen. He is thirty six. But he is still angry because his younger brother, who Colin remembers to follow him all the time like a puppy, should stay around, no matter what shit he was being given. Family is family.
So you see, Colin is suffering because of his family situation and as much as I can get the whole toxic relationship with his father, it felt like a convenient solution to take a lot of blame from Colin. He was just trying to be oh so good. Of course then we come back to the well-known rule from the first book - that Daniel is always the one to blame. And in the end it is Daniel who is worried for Colin, who seeks contact with him, who forgives him everything without Colin saying stupid ‘I’m sorry’ because Colin SUFFERS. Daniel then helps Colin improve his relationship and generally remains in Daniel's traditional place meaning taking shit and being fully convinced he deserves it. As is the author, it seems. Even Rex pities Colin when Colin beats Daniel AGAIN – Rex could at least dislike Colin because of making Rex’s love of life so miserable, but he doesn’t, not really. Because, in case you forgot, Colin suffers.
Oh yes, there is also a romance in this book. We get another tormented hero with dark past, Rafael, seemingly threatening and mysterious who in reality is an angel who works with troubled queer youth, is engaged in a million social work projects and has all the patience in the world for Colin (who suffers also because of this relationship). And because Rafael is dealing with his life better, it’s only normal he starts to be possessive over Colin like a good romance hero should be – some little stalking, organizing his life, knowing better what Colin likes in bed even if he says he doesn’t like some things and so on… Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for me, can you imagine? So Rafael hasn’t become my hero. Reading about two characters you don’t give a damn about or simply dislike… Not that much fun.
There are some highlights, though. The story is better planned than the first book where you were always expecting something to happen and it didn’t – here things do happen which is always a good thing. The youth centre was a nice addition for me, although they very quickly came down to plot devices assuring the reader that Colin is objectively oh so handsome and assuring Colin that he and Rafe are meant for each other. Sex scenes weren’t painful to read but not so enjoyable as in the first book. There were less of them, which in this case was an advantage.
I liked these three lines telling that Rex looks at Daniel as he was some sort of a miracle, made to be loved and cherished. I would prefer some scenes about it, something from outsider POV to tell me more than that Rex was simply standing behind Daniel for support but it was still sweet. I missed Rex's POV in the first book and I really wanted to be assured that he is taking care of Daniel and for once doesn't blame him for all the shit in the world. Let's say, if you squint you can see their love here even through all Colin's suffering. And if I ever read a book from this series in the future it would be only to find a scene or two about Daniel and Rex.
Disappointing, harmful, sad and not cathartic in the slightest. I don’t recommend....more
I really tried but gave up, some 50 pages left to the end but I didn't manage.I really tried but gave up, some 50 pages left to the end but I didn't manage....more
I tried, I really tried to finish it but it seems all the fun factor is gone for me in this book (and as I assume the other to come) and what is left I tried, I really tried to finish it but it seems all the fun factor is gone for me in this book (and as I assume the other to come) and what is left is all the problematic or simply awful content. I can't really follow all the plotlines that I feel lead to nowhere (or I know it for a fact), I can't engage in JM's romance because of course, we have to see his love interest broken so that he could be a "proper Alpha male" *vomits in the corner* and it hurts because Xhex was great as she was and their romance was something different, with him being younger, less experienced and generally I would risk a statement that "weaker" *gasp* But nah, we're back to how it must look in all the books and it's not fun here, not fun at all. And I will never forgive Ward what she did with Qhuinn/Blay where she had such a way out for beautiful hurt/comfort (what Qhuinn told Blay during their last conversation! By the way, my favourite moment in the books) but no - she prefered to go with this... situation. I liked Saxton a lot but he was such a token character and everything about this romance felt so forced... I know what happens next in the books, I read most Qhuinn/Blay scenes and no, thank you very much, I'm ending my adventure here....more
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