Squirrel Quotes

“This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit."

-Ty Henderson”
― Madeleine Urban

“And," added Mikey. "she's my sister."
The others looked at him for a moment, and broke out laughing.
"Yeah, yeah," Squirrel scoffed, "and the McGill is my cousin."
Now Allie burst out laughing, which made Mikey more annoyed.
"If the McGill was your cousin," Mikey said, "I can guarantee he'd disown you.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everwild

“I've changed my mind. I don't want to be a squirrel any more. I'd rather be a bird!”
― Erin Hunter, Moonrise

“How can it not exist? What does that—” A tiny grey body shot in front of the Land Rover. “Squirrel!”

Mad Rogan swerved to the side, trying to avoid the suicidal beast. The SUV hit a curb and jumped. For a terrifying second, we almost flew, weightless. My heart leaped into my throat. The heavy vehicle landed back on the pavement with a thud. The squirrel leapt into the grass on the other side.

I remembered to breathe. “Thank you for not killing the squirrel.”

“You’re welcome, although now I want to go back and strangle it.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“Nugget?" said Micah, offering a lump to Toby.
"Thanks," said Toby. He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully.
"I think maybe it is a squirrel." He said.”
― Ridley Pearson, Science Fair

“And so when the scar wraith approached him, he took a diagonal step backward putting himself behind Squirrel like a king retreating behind a pawn.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everfound

“Do you think she was gay before or after she started watching Xena?" the male squirrel asked. "That subtext works like a nasty termite. It undermines the structure of human females from within.”
― Blayne Cooper, The Story of Me

“My author role model is Kurata Misako. I want to be rich enough to drive from room to room in my home but also down to earth enough to let squirrels live in my hair.”
― Christy Leigh Stewart

“Did the squirrel realize how lucky he was to be there? Or on the contrary did he spend his life wondering whether he might not be better off somewhere else, or feeling that he didn't have the life he deserved? In the end, it depended on the comparisons the squirrel was able to make”
― François Lelord, Hector and the Search for Happiness

“He eyed her warily. “Did Pearl give you coffee?”
“Yes.”
“How many cups?”
“Just three. It’s quite good with cream and sugar.”
“Have you ever had it before?”
“No. Why? What does that have to do with anything? I don’t see what that has to do with anything. Why are my knees shaking?”
“Pearl!”
Pearl peeked around the wall. “Well! She had a headache. I didn’t think she’d act like a squirrel. And I didn’t know she had three cups.”
“A headache?” Maximillion murmured. He turned to Isadora, pointing to the nearest chair. “Sit down.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Sit. Down.”
― Katie Cross, Flame

“I can see every day that a squirrel's perfectly at home in a world of trees. But imagine taking that squirrel and plunking him down in the middle of the desert. This wonderful animal will suddenly feel depressed, anxious, confused, completely at a loss. There are plenty of animals who make a home in the desert, but not the squirrel.

There's nothing really wrong with that downcast squirrel in the desert. He's perfect. But he's only perfect when he's at home, in a place with lots of trees. In the desert a squirrel is an unhappy misfit.

Now imagine doing something stupid: taking that squirrel to a therapist so he'll feel better... You could do squirrel therapy forever but as long as the squirrel's in the desert, he's going to be miserable. But if you just pick him up and bring him to a place with trees, now he's at home and he's happy.

There are so many people who are miserable because they are squirrels in the desert. They think there's something wrong with them. They endlessly try to fix themselves but the fixing doesn't work. Yet they keep trying because it's hard to face the ways they're not at home in the world. And yet how simple it would be if they could see there's nothing wrong with who they are, there's just something wrong with where they are.

But they can feel more at home than they ever imagined. They just have to look for ways that events in their lives are showing them the way home.”
― Mira Kirshenbaum, Everything Happens for a Reason: Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives [Paperback] [2005] (Author) Mira Kirshenbaum

“Hesitantly, I touched the stump where my finger used to be. In my mind, something almost remembered itself, but the fumes of turpentine were making me a little lightheaded; whatever memory was on the verge of coughing itself up was gone even before it materialized. Out the window, I could see a squirrel was stumbling erratically around in circles underneath the old basketball net. Then I realized that it wasn't a squirrel; it was a brown paper bag.”
― Dan Chaon, Stay Awake

“When their chatter died to a contented lull, a small red squirrel ventured out of the oak grove and turned to the side, watching them with one bright black eye.
"An intruder," Annabelle observed, with a delicate yawn.
Evie rolled to her stomach and tossed a bread crust in the squirrel's direction. He froze and stared at the tantalizing offering, but was too timid to advance. Evie tilted her head, her hair glittering in the sun as if it had been overlaid with a net of rubies. "Poor little thing," she said softly, casting another crust at the timid squirrel. This one landed a few inches closer, and his tail twitched eagerly. "Be brave," Evie coaxed. "Go on and take it." Smiling tolerantly, she tossed another crust, which landed a scant few inches from him. "Oh, Mr. Squirrel," Evie reproved. "You're a dreadful coward. Can't you see that no one's going to harm you?"
In a sudden burst of initiative, the squirrel seized the tidbit and scampered off with his tail quivering. Looking up with a triumphant smile, Evie saw the other wallflowers staring at her in drop-jawed silence. "Wh-what is it?" she asked, puzzled.
Annabelle was the first to speak. "Just now, when you were talking to that squirrel, you didn't stammer."
"Oh." Suddenly abashed, Evie lowered her gaze and grimaced. "I never stammer when I'm talking to children or animals. I don't know why.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Secrets of a Summer Night

“In the center of a garden reared a tree, glinting golden in the darkness, peppered with flowers that smelled of blood. The great yawning hollows of the trunk invited her in, promising a snug sanctuary. "They will suffocate you like a pillow of sand and you will never emerge alive," a chittering voice cried out. The patterns engraved on the tree's bark dizzied her eyes. "If your finger brushes against them, you'll know true madness." She glanced away from the bark, her eyes caught by a movement in the branches. A squirrel scurried down the trunk towards her. It didn't seem to be bothered that its tail was swathed in flames, or that something had eaten away at half of its rot-black face and torso. Death's pet project bared its teeth at her. "Do you really want to be here?”
― Angela Panayotopulos, The Wake Up

“I watched a squirrel fall from a rather high branch. Upon hitting the ground, he bounced slightly, paused, shook himself vigorously and then immediately scampered back up to the very same place on the very same branch from which he’d fallen. There are some that might call that stupidity. Then there are others like myself who would call that tenacity. And while I generally have no interest in being a squirrel, in this particular respect I wouldn’t mind being like one.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“In the tabernacle did the [squirrel]--"
"Eat the Host?" says Dad. "Yes he did."
"And was it--"
"Consecrated?" says Dad. "Yes it was."
...
"What, uh, happened to the squirrel?"
"That squirrel is now 30% Jesus by volume," says Mom.”
― Erin Bow, Simon Sort of Says

“I had a dream about you last night... in it, I tried to sell a squirrel a deposit box to store his nuts in. He stole my cashews in the complimentary snack basket.”
― Marshall Ramsay, Dreaming is for lovers

“Her young soul felt cut up like a fifty-year-old, like a squirrel that appeared content, but carried scars from the vestige of time in its black and gray grooves.”
― Meghna Pant, One and a Half Wife

“his thoughts revolving silently in this squirrel-cage of mystification.”
― Dorothy L. Sayers, Busman's Honeymoon

“Have you ever had one of those moments when the world around you comes to a crashing halt? When your heart beats so loudly that it drowns out every other sound? When the universe collapses to a single, solitary, radiant point of energy? This was one of those moments for me. The last time I heard the name Sandra Flax, Clinton was still screwing that ugly chick from Arkansas." The squirrel cocked his head to the side. "Not Hillary, the other one, before the chubby kid." The squirrel still looked confused. "Fine! It was 1989. Anyway, the sound of Sandra's name sent shivers down my spine and reawakened a hatred so venomous, at one time I thought it would be my undoing.”
― Blayne Cooper, The Story of Me

“The afternoon light glistened onto the green leaves. Tinkling bells that hung on a string moved slightly. A squirrel ran through the bushes, and a snail slowly made its way across a muddy corner, which was still damp from the morning.”
― Ruth Ann Oskolkoff, Zin

“Kaylee giggled as he tunneled up inside her sleeve.
Out popped his head for a quick look, then he took leave.
He enjoyed scaling up, down and around her shirt.
What a sweet, funny and adorable flirt.”
― Melinda K. Trotter, Tickles the Pet Squirrel

“What’s THAT?!” Laurent screeched as the bushes directly next to them began to move.
A hundred things ran through Madi’s mind: that serial killers really should choose more productive ways to spend their time, that her sister Sarah was going to be out-of-control when their parents broke the news Madi’d been murdered, that it was a really stupid twist of fate that Madi’d found the man of her dreams only to lose him, and lastly—
That really looks like a squirrel.
“RUN!” Laurent bellowed as the little creature took two bouncing steps toward them and stopped, staring at them with interest.”
― Danika Stone, Internet Famous

“He (the Douglas squirrel) is the most influential of the Sierra animals, quick mountain vigor and valor condensed, purely wild, and as free from disease as a sunbeam.”
― John Muir, Wilderness Essays

“The squirrel had stretched himself out on a branch to soak up the sun in order to ward off the cold. And if we find ourselves always cold, it may be that we’re on the wrong branch under the wrong sun.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“The Pressure Cooker by Stewart Stafford

We arrive at the sweltering park,
And disturb a larcenous squirrel,
Trash can raider with easy spoils,
He scampers away down the back.

Solo lady in the gazebo watches,
An outdoor Mrs. Bates silhouette,
As a tuft of angel hair rolls along,
I give the thirsty baby hydration.

Transfixed by a burst helium balloon,
Rocking itself to the unheard beats,
Arid breeze, now ceiling conductor,
Our squirrel pal returns to spy on us.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“That squirrel is now 30% Jesus by volume,' says Mom. "It's our new god"
"Isobel!" Dad goes through the motions of being offended. A squirrel might not be able to commit blasphemy, but Mom has it *down*.”
― Erin Bow

“It’s okay,” Crash says with a light laugh. “She was all of the above.”

“Please don’t elaborate on the nuts part,” I mutter, spearing Dane with a look when he snorts. “It’s not that funny.”

Dane sucks in a breath. “I mean . . . it kind of is?”

“You’re the worst. Crash is literally here, pouring out his broken heart, and you’re laughing about the woman being a squirrel.”

“My heart is fully intact,”
― Rory Miles, Twilight Terrors

“I would have sworn that the leap was going to end in disaster. Yet, the squirrel made it look effortless. And I thought, “How many times have I overestimated the leap and have therefore chosen to exist in a forest of one tree?”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“Squirrels never have to clock out to eat lunch. They also never pay for their food, so are humans really at the top of the power chart?”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes