Shaving Quotes

“Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.”
― James Joyce, Ulysses

“I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.”
― Libba Bray, Beauty Queens

“Of the Seven Dwarfs, the only one who shaved was Dopey. That should tell us something about the wisdom of shaving.”
― Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All

“A man with a beard was always a little suspect anyway. You couldn't say you wore a beard because you liked a beard. People didn't like you for telling the truth. You had to say you had a scar so you couldn't shave.”
― John Steinbeck, Cannery Row

“The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes.

John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Shaving is a way to start the workday by ritually not cutting your throat when you’ve the chance.”
― Ben Lerner, 10:04

“Lizzie ignored the hair in her armpits and on her legs. It had gone from stubble to dark hair. F*** it. End of the world rules apply.”
― Robert L. Slater

“Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?”
― Howard Tayler, The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance

“I check every can of Barbasol I buy for dinosaur embryos. I haven't found any yet, as evidenced by the lack of T-Rex screams in my apartment.”
― Ryan Lilly

“There's a reason caveman started to develop sophisticated tools before the meteor wiped them all out: It's so they could fucking shave. Do you know how frustrating it must have been to be hunched over all night trying to start a fire only to finally succeed just to have your beard go up in flames? No aloe vera back then.”
― Ari Gold, The Gold Standard: Rules to Rule By

“I had a dream about you last night. You set a timer on in the bathroom to prove how long it takes me to get ready. So I shaved your legs, made up your face and gave you lashes. An hour later you thanked God for not making you a woman.”
― Crystal Hudson, Dreaming is for lovers

“I can see one of them clearly now, walking
along with a newspaper tucked under his arm.
he has cut himself shaving and a bit of tissue
with a circle of blood is stuck to his cheek,”
― Billy Collins, The Apple that Astonished Paris

“She had shaved above the knee, packed her suitcase with her skimpiest lingerie, and the instructions on the Sexy Weekend Fun Box said, “Just Add Texan.” What she had not expected was Hunter putting her on a Tex-free diet.”
― Kate Meader, Even the Score

“What a lovely jaw," she murmured, admiring the clean edge. "I've never properly appreciated it before."
West waited until the blade lifted from his skin before replying. "I was just thinking the same thing about your breasts.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Devil's Daughter

“Shaving is always cathartic, much like showering, changing out of clothes, anything where what once was carried during a moment or period of distress is purged.”
― A.D. Aliwat, In Limbo

“Or from even further back, from as far back as she could remember, there rose the fascination she had felt as a little girl every time she saw her grandfather shaving: he would sit down, usually around seven in the morning, after a frugal breakfast, and with a serious air make up his lather with a very soft brush in a bowl of very hot water, a lather so thick and white and firm that even after more than seventy-five years it still made her mouth water.”
― Georges Perec, Life: A User's Manual

“If you don't trust the barber you're shaving, your face is more likely to get cut!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“Life is lived more easily with a beard than without one, since with a beard lies are more easily told—they can be told, and then hidden in the masses of hair. Hence we ought to go through life with our faces naked, since such faces render untruthfulness more difficult, and prevent their owners from prevaricating without the fact becoming plain to all.”
― Maksim Gorky