Restaurant Review Quotes

“El Lindo tastes like the line from that famous murder mystery movie “Rambo,” when Nicolas Cage rips off his tuxedo and says, “I may be a lot of things, but I ain’t a man to call Taco Bell Mexican cuisine." I love a good romance.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“Watches and clocks are round, like the product Brick Oven serves with five-star flavor, because it's always pizza time. But I'm always split over what to order, because I make their wings disappear like I'm Amelia Earhart.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“I read aloud from my phone. “‘A cappuccino with low-quality milk … the only good things is the kindness of the bartenders…’”

“Are you reading the online reviews?”

“Of course. This is a good one. ‘What is gruesome is the disorganization and rudeness of the staff.’ And here’s another. ‘Business lunch with pork sandwich, dirty toilets, and hallucinating prices.’”

Elisa let out a laugh. “Internet translations have made Italians sound like lunatics.”

“Or like a nation with a head injury. Here’s my favorite one: ‘The collation leaves it to be desired and the girl was alone and in trouble to manage everything. Sandwich was inexplicable.”
― Dominic Smith, Return to Valetto