Lawyer Jokes Quotes
Quotes tagged as "lawyer-jokes"
Showing 1-15 of 15
“I was so happy to be out of there.
“Barabas, if you weren’t batting for the other team, I’d marry you.”
He grinned. “If I weren’t batting for the other team, I would accept your proposal."
You had me at ‘No comment.’
If all my clients were this smart, my life would be much easier. Much, much easier.”
― Gunmetal Magic
“Barabas, if you weren’t batting for the other team, I’d marry you.”
He grinned. “If I weren’t batting for the other team, I would accept your proposal."
You had me at ‘No comment.’
If all my clients were this smart, my life would be much easier. Much, much easier.”
― Gunmetal Magic
“Gabriel Walsh comes from a long line of hustlers. He’s just the first one to go to law school and get a license for it.”
― Omens
― Omens
“Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."
Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences.”
― Lone Wolf
Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences.”
― Lone Wolf
“I wouldn’t call Gabriel Walsh if I was on fire.” She pursed her lips. “No, I might. To sue everyone responsible—from the person who lit the match to those who made my clothes. But I’d wait until the fire was out. Otherwise, he’d just stand there until I was burned enough for a sizable settlement.”
― Omens
― Omens
“Twain please!" Peck blubbered. "It was never personal. It was just business!"
"Oh Peck, do you think I'm mad at you? I"m a lawyer. I don't get mad. I don't get even." Twain gave him a wicked smile. " I sue people.”
― William Bradshaw and Fool's Gold
"Oh Peck, do you think I'm mad at you? I"m a lawyer. I don't get mad. I don't get even." Twain gave him a wicked smile. " I sue people.”
― William Bradshaw and Fool's Gold
“The land was torn apart in a legal dispute. Soon it was so devastated, nothing could live here- not plant or animal. Only lawyers. But eventually the place fell into lawlessness, and lawyers can't exist in an area of lawlessness, so they went feral. Some say they still roam the land. You'll suddenly hear someone yell, 'Objection!' and then you'll be torn apart like an improperly witnessed contract.”
―
―
“He was so clean and healthy and pleased about everything that he positively shone - which is only to be expected in a fairy or an angel, but is somewhat disconcerting in an attorney.”
― Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
― Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
“I can see why so many lawyers throw themselves into the river. With all of this fabric weighing them down they’ll sink straight to the bottom.”
Alysia sent me an unimpressed look. “I’m a lawyer, you know?”
“Then you probably know a few jokes at your own expense.”
― Protected
Alysia sent me an unimpressed look. “I’m a lawyer, you know?”
“Then you probably know a few jokes at your own expense.”
― Protected
“Hold on, hold on, there must be a law against killing lawyers."
"Are you sure?"
"There're still some around, aren't there?”
― The Truth
"Are you sure?"
"There're still some around, aren't there?”
― The Truth
“It is hard for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle ― without high-priced legal help.”
―
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