Bullshit Quotes

“To recognize bullshit,
nose is better than ear.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

“Any actor who tells you that they have become the people they play, unless they’re clearly diagnosed as a schizophrenic, is bullshitting you.”
― Gary Oldman

“As Vida always said, the best way through bullshit was to wade in, hold your nose with one hand and a grenade in the other, and cut straight to it.”
― Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Legacy

“I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there. And my reason for this... my reason is one that you may share, possibly. I have a very low tolerance level for stupid bullshit.”
― George Carlin, It's Bad for Ya

“Don't trust everything you read,
everything is gonna be just fine.”
― Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut

“We now live in a world where counter-intuitive bullshitting is valorized, where the pose of argument is more important than the actual pursuit of truth, where clever answers take precedence over profound questions.”
― Ta-Nahisi Coates

“When you walk alone in nature and you are angry, you realize that you brought the bullshit with you.”
― Freequill

“One thing I don't like about crap:
its size that is too big to be digested.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

“Shit jobs tend to be blue collar and pay by the hour, whereas bullshit jobs tend to be white collar and salaried. Those who work shit jobs tend to be the object of indignities; they not only work hard but also are held in low esteem for that very reason. But at least they know they're doing something useful. Those who work bullshit jobs are often surrounded by honor and prestige; they are respected as professionals, well paid, and treated as high achievers - as the sort of people who can be justly proud of what they do. Yet secretly they are aware that they have achieved nothing; they feel they have done nothing to earn the consumer toys with which they fill their lives; they feel it's all based on a lie - as, indeed, it is.”
― David Graeber, Bullshit Jobs: A Theory

“Oil and coal? Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not [...]. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here.”
― Sarah Palin

“If you say bullshit on things come in handy,
better revise it before others say otherwise.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

“Take the Holocaust for example: Why did God allow Hitler to kill millions of innocent Jews? Because God didn't want to step on Hitler's toes and interfere with his free will? That's a pretty lame excuse. What about the free will of all those Jews who died? I'm pretty sure that getting gassed to death was obviously not their choice.

So, was the Holocaust part of God's great plan? Is that why he allowed it to happen? Is that why God didn't answer the prayers of all those Jews who begged him to make Hitler drop dead?

Why didn't God just make Hitler have a heart attack before he could start World War 2? Why didn't he simply prevent Hitler from being born? How could a God who is supposed to be all good all the time allow something like the Holocaust?

Or did God not just LET it happen? Maybe God MADE the Holocaust happen, because everything that happens, happens for a good reason? Are our minds simply too tiny, too inferior, to understand God's divine plan? Are we just too stupid to see the greater good that came out of the Holocaust?

If that were true, and everything that happens, including the Holocaust, is part of God's perfect plan, then that means that Hitler really wasn't a bad man at all. He was actually doing God's work. And if Hitler did exactly what he was supposed to do in God's great plan, then Hitler obviously didn't have free will, but was just God's puppet. So that means Hitler was a good guy. A man of God.

Sorry, but there is no religion in the world that could sell me on believing THAT bullshit.”
― Oliver Markus, Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey

“The notion of carefully wrought bullshit involves, then, a certain inner
strain. Thoughtful attention to detail requires discipline and objectivity. It entails accepting standards and limitations that forbid the indulgence of impulse or whim. It is this selflessness that, in connection with bullshit, strikes us as inapposite. But in fact it is not out of the question at all. The realms of advertising and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept. And in these realms there are exquisitely sophisticated craftsmen who - with the help of advanced and demanding techniques of market research, of public opinion polling, of psychological testing, and so forth - dedicate themselves tirelessly to getting every word and image they produce exactly right.”
― Harry G. Frankfurt, On Bullshit

“To admit your ignorance is freeing. To say, "I don't know" is to free yourself from having to come up with a bullshit answer.”
― Eric Roxas

“It's not in the interests of the self-serving government to educate the masses to the point where they are smart enough to see through the bullshit - because then people will be too smart to vote for them again.”
― Christina Engela

“Contemplation in life is more important than bullshit. So enjoy Silence.”
― Eyden I.

“To be scientifically literate is to empower yourself to know when someone else is full of shit.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson

“Bullshit do good when tickle.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

“And they got blackout drunk one night and it just happened. It was basically an accident, and he gave me the most sincere and moving confession of all time, swore to God he loved me so much and would do anything to convince me, blah blah blah, but it didn’t matter, I kept thinking about it and running it through my head and just burning with it. I cried every night for weeks. Practically wore the binary off all my saddest Mp3s.”
― Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies

“Was it John Searle who called Jacques Derrida the sort of philosopher who gives bullshit a bad name?”
― David Markson

“But in life, no one is spared, no one is let off the hook. Those buried sensations had to come out, be felt, addressed, and lived through.
I wish I could say I let it all out that night. All of the tears, all of the screams, all of the bullshit. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It would take something much stronger to bring all that out of me. Still. By the time the sun rose the next morning, one thing had changed: I was no longer full of shit... I drove west; needing to escape the gravitational pull of both of my families and anyone who knew them. I needed to wallow in uncertainty, without the balancing effects of religion or school, or friends, or family to cling to. If I was ever going to figure out who I was, I needed to be a stranger again.”
― Mary Anna King, Bastards: A Memoir

“True, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between authentic anger and bullshit and that’s why the following exercise is designed to help you express your resentments with integrity, and not with demoralizing bullshit”
― Will Jelbert, The Happiness Animal

“And you can't see around corners. so you just have to deal with it, and try to stay afloat.
And things get tough.
And you're supposed to grow up.
And it's all a bunch of bullshit.
Sorry.”
― Andrew Smith

“You still long for freedom, my friend, and that longing is your cage. You do not even realize what you are missing, or what it is that you are longing for, but something in you calls out to be aware. You have become parched in the desert of apathy, and thirst for the Bacchic springs forever out of your reach. And while your highest aspects thirst for freedom, so too your basest roots thrust outwards and strangle the hopes—”
― James Curcio, Join My Cult!

“In plain English, you need to wrestle the doubts and accusations that it’s all just bullshit. And, needless to say, the majority of the work of the triple-H population is undeniably so. The reason that it’s so valuable to society is just that some of it isn’t bullshit and even a small percentage of genuine innovations of software, culture or lifestyle can have a huge impact. Still, you never quite know if you are the bullshitter or the hero, or if you are being sold utter bullshit.”
― Hanzi Freinacht, The Listening Society: A Metamodern Guide to Politics, Book One

“I shoplifted from your height
and got me some
window ledge religion

Since then,
I have been trying
to drop dead”
― Casey Renee Kiser, Swan Wreck

“Happy belated 4th of July to the Americans July 2, 1776, was meant for. Not the American's; some of whom's ancestors fought for the British against a nation that DIDN'T then, COULDN'T after The Emancipation Proclamation, and still CAN'T seem to recognize our basic human rights.”
― A.K. Kuykendall

“Rubio's sudden concern for the humanitarian situation in Venezuela smacks of hypocrisy, as he supported all US sanctions that have made life for Venezuelans miserable.”
― Ron Paul

“In my dreams, crowds were chanting, challenging me, shouting, "Follow us and fit in!" I wanted to tell him that life itself has turned into a prowling lion. I wanted to tell him that I needed to escape the blaze of bullshit.”
― Bob Dylan, Chronicles, Volume One

“Is the bullshitter by his very nature a mindless slob? Is his product necessarily messy or unrefined? The word shit does, to be sure, suggest this. Excrement is not designed or crafted at all; it is merely emitted or dumped. It may have a more or less coherent shape, or it may not, but it is in any case certainly not wrought.”
― Harry G. Frankfurt, On Bullshit