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My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius
In this unique, profoundly inspirational memoir, Divorce Court star Judge Lynn Toler shares her mother’s wisdom for learning to conquer anger and become immune to insult. Toler credits her mother’s “rules” for life – a life that saw her grow up the daughter of a poor teen mother and endure a husband who suffered mental illness and alcoholism – with providing the grounding for her own success and happiness. Toler shows how the mindset of “a black woman who knew how to make things work” taught her the power of knowing how to manage one’s emotional business—lessons that this book offers in wrenching stories written in spare and graceful prose. My Mother’s Rules is an unforgettable book that will captivate readers with its illustrations of how to rise above the most difficult circumstances and find peace and success in life.
300 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2007
About the author
Lynn Toler
6 books61 followersLynn C. Toler is the judge of the television series Divorce Court, replacing Mablean Ephriam in 2006. She previously hosted the court show Power of Attorney. Toler brought tenacity and compassion to the courtroom enforcing nontraditional judgments, such as hand written essays.
Judge Toler is the author of My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, in which she describes how she dealt as a child with her father's erratic behavior due to his bipolar disorder.
She earned an undergraduate degree in English and American Literature from Harvard in 1981 and a Juris Doctor from the University of Pennsylvania Law School in 1984. Toler currently resides in Ohio with her husband of 17 years and two teenage sons.
Judge Toler is the author of My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, in which she describes how she dealt as a child with her father's erratic behavior due to his bipolar disorder.
She earned an undergraduate degree in English and American Literature from Harvard in 1981 and a Juris Doctor from the University of Pennsylvania Law School in 1984. Toler currently resides in Ohio with her husband of 17 years and two teenage sons.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
January 15, 2015
Everyone should have a mother like hers!
It would be fantastic if this was required reading in high schools everywhere. I'm truly amazed by her memoir and how she came to be who she is today.
It would be fantastic if this was required reading in high schools everywhere. I'm truly amazed by her memoir and how she came to be who she is today.
February 25, 2019
While I was reading, I felt like Judge Lynn Toler put her heart and soul into the writing of this book. I wasn't surprised to find out at the end that she wrote it over the course of 6 years. I learned so much useful advice. My only complaint is I wish she'd expanded more on some stories and lessons. But you know it's a good book when you're left wanting more!
I definitely will look through these rules again. So many gems in such a short time. I felt this book is especially helpful for learning how to better control your emotions and deal with feelings of anger. It was also extremely interesting and eye-opening to hear Toler candidly recall the events of her childhood. I love hearing her share wisdom on her show, and I'm so glad I decided to learn more about her by reading this book.
I definitely will look through these rules again. So many gems in such a short time. I felt this book is especially helpful for learning how to better control your emotions and deal with feelings of anger. It was also extremely interesting and eye-opening to hear Toler candidly recall the events of her childhood. I love hearing her share wisdom on her show, and I'm so glad I decided to learn more about her by reading this book.
January 15, 2013
A no-nonsense advice/life-skills book. Toler's experience growing up in a complicated family environment, and later sitting as a municipal judge, informs her common-sensical everyday rules for negotiation, relationship-building, and keeping one's own cool.
September 24, 2019
I read this book in 3 days. Couldn’t put it down. With eloquence and practical wisdom, Judge Toler takes you on a journey as she shares all of the wisdom that her mother shared with her. A must read.
October 2, 2022
Excellent practical advice 👏 delivered in a no nonsense manner.
January 23, 2021
I've been a fan of Judge Lynn's for over a decade, and this book (part memoir, part self-help) has incredibly useful, practical advice for learning to manage anxiety and acting in opposition to how you feel.
March 16, 2019
I have been procrastinating to read this book, which turned out to be the biggest mistake I've ever done. I couldn't put it down. The author was precise and to the point. It made loads of sense and anyone can easily learn a lot out of it. Very inspirational.
ratings out of 10,
9.5/10
ratings out of 10,
9.5/10
July 18, 2019
I loved this book. It is the first book that I have read that gave examples that I could relate to as well as practical steps in how to deal with correcting behavior. Amazing job, I am totally a Lynn Toler fan now!
May 30, 2020
Always liked her. I remember her saying on her show once "if i was left to my own devices Id be living in a cave" . In the same episode she talked about how you have to fight how you feel. Forcing yourself to do things that need to be done. That made me Google her and saw she wrote a book I thought id give it a whirl.
Excellent book. She talks about her childhood a bit. Rest of the book is a list of how to overcome emotional pitfalls and reactions etc. With each tactic she uses an example in her own life which really helps. Its Stoic advice for our day and age.
Highly recommend this book to anyone who has emotional problems. Quite a few sections im going to collect so I can keep reading it throughout my day. Havent read another book exactly like this.
Excellent book. She talks about her childhood a bit. Rest of the book is a list of how to overcome emotional pitfalls and reactions etc. With each tactic she uses an example in her own life which really helps. Its Stoic advice for our day and age.
Highly recommend this book to anyone who has emotional problems. Quite a few sections im going to collect so I can keep reading it throughout my day. Havent read another book exactly like this.
March 23, 2022
Ok but I like hearing her spit wisdom on Divorce Court better!
I absolutely love Judge Lynn and the way she sees people beyond how they are showing up in Divorce Court. It was nice to learn more about her and how she developed such insight through reading this book. It was a bit slow and erratic at times and some of the rules seem similar. But she gives great instruction on self-management and regulation of emotions. As a highly anxious and highly sensitive person it was helpful to see how someone else with deep anxiety and depression manages and loves themselves.
I absolutely love Judge Lynn and the way she sees people beyond how they are showing up in Divorce Court. It was nice to learn more about her and how she developed such insight through reading this book. It was a bit slow and erratic at times and some of the rules seem similar. But she gives great instruction on self-management and regulation of emotions. As a highly anxious and highly sensitive person it was helpful to see how someone else with deep anxiety and depression manages and loves themselves.
March 7, 2019
A pretty insightful book. I'm beyond shocked by how colorful her life has been during her childhood and marriage. The writing was easy to digest but it can be difficult reading the amount of rules. The advice is practical and everyday, not written for the academia. I enjoyed her examples and honesty. I found myself highlighting a good portion of the rules and I can see myself revisiting them. Good thing there's a section dedicated to listing out the rules.
May 24, 2019
I love Lynn Toler, first watch it in the TV drama "Divorce Court". She is a real Judge with a graduate degree from a low school and comes on TV to solve couples problems.
Raised in a cracked house, and had herself anxiously issues she is a genius herself in emotional control and it was nice to listen to her 7 hours book on the weekend. Learned a lot about humans emotions and the techniques to keep mine in hold.
Raised in a cracked house, and had herself anxiously issues she is a genius herself in emotional control and it was nice to listen to her 7 hours book on the weekend. Learned a lot about humans emotions and the techniques to keep mine in hold.
September 2, 2024
I love this book!!! Def is a book you need to reread. I’m grateful to have come across this book because it’s literally a rule book on how to be more emotionally intelligent. It talks about a topic a lot of people overlook. We really don’t know how much our emotions control us, our actions, or words, until you do the necessary work to change it! 10/10 recommend!! More people def need to read this gem!!
September 21, 2020
I started following Judge Lynn Toler on instagram about a year ago. The advise that she gives is amazing. This book contains practical advise around what you should do when your emotional well-being becomes skewed. Thank you for opening up your life to the world in order to write this book. It’s a great book and I will be re-reading it!
March 17, 2024
I picked up this book after listening to a recent interview with The Honorable Judge. It has been suggested that I write down the principal and words to live by that I share. Now I know I can simply refer them to this book. If they apply it, many can be find in these pages a blueprint to things that will lead to sanity.
July 17, 2024
I normally don't review non-fiction/ self-help because it's so subjective, but take this with a grain of salt. I have been a fan of hers for a long time. This book is half an autobiography and half self-help, how to deal with anger. I loved both. The stories about her life were heartwarming, and the rules always hit the right note. Hopefully, it won't take me 18+ years to learn them.
March 22, 2020
I enjoyed reading this book. Usually I struggle reading this type of books but not Mrs.Toler’s book. She speak with so much confidence and intelligence that you would never thought she dealt with anxiety issues. This book will inspire and teach you numerous life lessons, definitely a must-read
May 24, 2020
Really struggled to connect with this book. I read “Letters to the daughter I never had” and absolutely loved it. I assumed this one would be in the same format. Unfortunately this book was too lengthy and seems to be more of an autobiography than anything else. I get that her mum taught her the lessons but I at least wanted to know more about the lessons on being an emotional genius than her emotionally traumatic childhood. After reading the book I know more about her childhood than I do those rules.
August 7, 2022
interesting and informative.
There seems to be honesty in this book and many lessons to learn. I recommend all readers use the rules and steps in mind when facing life circumstances.
There seems to be honesty in this book and many lessons to learn. I recommend all readers use the rules and steps in mind when facing life circumstances.
January 16, 2024
This book needs to come with a trigger warning for domestic violence.
It was interesting to read a perspective of a black woman who grew up with privilege as well as trauma.
Very wordy and an exceptional amount of metaphors, so if you are a very literal person, it will be a more challenging read.
It was interesting to read a perspective of a black woman who grew up with privilege as well as trauma.
Very wordy and an exceptional amount of metaphors, so if you are a very literal person, it will be a more challenging read.
July 11, 2024
I enjoyed reading this book and would recommend every reader to grab a copy. Lynn Toler in this memoir proffers guiding principles to help manage our emotions and stressful situations better. It's highly motivational and thought gripping.
December 21, 2018
I found this to be a very insightful book.
March 15, 2019
I wanted to like this book, I really did, but her traumatic childhood is kind of triggering my own traumatic childhood. This books is probably great for some people, just not for me.
July 8, 2019
Excellent book. I liked the author before the book; however, after reading I have a great deal more respect for her wisdom.
March 1, 2020
I enjoyed the many mini lessons. The narrative of her parents life is inspiring. I will be siting some of the gems in my daily conversation.
March 1, 2020
Great book about successful emotional management especially for women who have issues with aggression, unrealistic fears, self-esteem, and caring too much about others think.
March 13, 2020
I loved this book! So many nuggets of straightforward reminders of common sense. We are all in need of that these days. ❤️
March 17, 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed this book on several layers. I liked how she combined telling her families story along with the lessons learned.
December 22, 2020
I’ve always admire Judge Lynn Toler. Her story is amazing and I identified with some of her experiences and am in awe of the caliber of woman she is.
December 26, 2020
I enjoyed the Audiobook even more. This was another good book from Judge Toler that can be passed on to our daughters.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews