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I Am Not Who You Think I Am
One secret. Eight cryptic words. Lifetimes of ruin.
Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself, finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am, and is left reeling with grief and shock. Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew? Terrified, Wayland keeps the note a secret, but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning.
Eight years later, Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried.
With the help of two friends, Wayland searches for the truth. Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father's old books, a sinister history behind the town's most powerful family, and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland's birth. Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland's suspicions of everyone around him. Soon, he'll regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.
I Am Not Who You Think I Am is an ingenious, addictive, and shattering tale of grief, obsession, and fate as eight words lead to lifetimes of ruin.
Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself, finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am, and is left reeling with grief and shock. Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew? Terrified, Wayland keeps the note a secret, but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning.
Eight years later, Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried.
With the help of two friends, Wayland searches for the truth. Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father's old books, a sinister history behind the town's most powerful family, and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland's birth. Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland's suspicions of everyone around him. Soon, he'll regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.
I Am Not Who You Think I Am is an ingenious, addictive, and shattering tale of grief, obsession, and fate as eight words lead to lifetimes of ruin.
229 pages, Hardcover
First published October 5, 2021
About the author
Eric Rickstad
11 books969 followersEric Rickstad is a New York Times and International bestselling novelist.
His latest novel, LILITH, will be published on March 19, 2024.
His previous novel, I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM, was a New York Times Thriller of the Year.
He also wrote WHAT REMAINS OF HER, REAP, and The Canaan Crime Series — LIE IN WAIT, THE SILENT GIRLS, and THE NAMES OF DEAD GIRLS— which has sold more than a half million copies worldwide.
He lives in Vermont.
His latest novel, LILITH, will be published on March 19, 2024.
His previous novel, I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM, was a New York Times Thriller of the Year.
He also wrote WHAT REMAINS OF HER, REAP, and The Canaan Crime Series — LIE IN WAIT, THE SILENT GIRLS, and THE NAMES OF DEAD GIRLS— which has sold more than a half million copies worldwide.
He lives in Vermont.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 661 reviews
October 5, 2021
I Am Not Who You Think I Am, is an addicting mystery thriller with an excellent pace that kept me listening and finished within a day. I'm totally gobsmacked by the conclusion!
Vermont 1984, eight-year-old Wayland witness his dad shot himself in the face. Near the body was a note with a message "I am not who you think I am." In present-day at sixteen and still traumatized from the event and the note, Wayland starts poking around into his father's past and family secrets.
This was my first Eric Rickstad novel and I love the quick and entertaining thrill. I'll definitely be looking into his other works.
Thank you Blackstone Publishing and Netgalley for this audiobook.
Available October 5, 2021
Vermont 1984, eight-year-old Wayland witness his dad shot himself in the face. Near the body was a note with a message "I am not who you think I am." In present-day at sixteen and still traumatized from the event and the note, Wayland starts poking around into his father's past and family secrets.
This was my first Eric Rickstad novel and I love the quick and entertaining thrill. I'll definitely be looking into his other works.
Thank you Blackstone Publishing and Netgalley for this audiobook.
Available October 5, 2021
October 4, 2021
“I am not who you think I am”
Just eight words that hide a myriad of secrets…left behind in what appears to be a suicide note.
Wayland Henry Maynard is just eight years old when he comes home from school early just in time to see his father shooting himself in his parent’s bedroom. He snatches the piece of paper on the floor by his father’s body but tells everyone that no note was left behind.
His Mother wastes no time in removing all of his father’s possessions, carrying everything from clothes to photographs and books, to the curb-as if she wants to erase all evidence that his father existed.
Eight years later, Wayland is having nightmares of “DANGLING FEET”.
Convinced his dream means something, he begins to search for the truth of his father’s suicide. He discovers a link to the TALL MAN, who visited his father’s barber shop just before his death, a bizarre tragedy which seems linked to his own birth, and strange messages scribbled in his father’s old books, which he had secretly confiscated from the curb.
The book may be set in the 1970’s (and is full of nostalgia from those years) BUT I felt that several GOTHIC themes were utilized in the story, as well. Gothic literature is described as dark, eerie and mysterious, often containing elements of terror, SUBTLE horror, the macabre or bizarre. Common themes include power, isolation and confinement.
MANY are included here, though I won’t say which as to not spoil anything.
Another GOTHIC theme-the burdened male protagonist, which we have in Wayland, a young man with deformed pinky fingers, who has never received counseling for dealing with the torment they bring him-or for what he witnessed. He doesn’t know if he can trust his only friend, a jock named Clay, or Juliette, the girl he has a crush on, but finds comfort in his dog, Molly, who though loved, endures some gratuitous, reprehensible things, as she isn’t spayed. (descriptions I could have done without).
I did guess a couple of things, though I had the WHY wrong. I wish I had been reading this with a friend as it BEGS for a discussion and comparison to some Classics.
Don’t let the young protagonist dissuade you from reading this!
3.75 rounded up!
If you are intrigued this will be available on October 5, 2021 from Blackstone Publishing.
I received a gifted copy through NetGalley. It was a pleasure to offer a candid review.
Just eight words that hide a myriad of secrets…left behind in what appears to be a suicide note.
Wayland Henry Maynard is just eight years old when he comes home from school early just in time to see his father shooting himself in his parent’s bedroom. He snatches the piece of paper on the floor by his father’s body but tells everyone that no note was left behind.
His Mother wastes no time in removing all of his father’s possessions, carrying everything from clothes to photographs and books, to the curb-as if she wants to erase all evidence that his father existed.
Eight years later, Wayland is having nightmares of “DANGLING FEET”.
Convinced his dream means something, he begins to search for the truth of his father’s suicide. He discovers a link to the TALL MAN, who visited his father’s barber shop just before his death, a bizarre tragedy which seems linked to his own birth, and strange messages scribbled in his father’s old books, which he had secretly confiscated from the curb.
The book may be set in the 1970’s (and is full of nostalgia from those years) BUT I felt that several GOTHIC themes were utilized in the story, as well. Gothic literature is described as dark, eerie and mysterious, often containing elements of terror, SUBTLE horror, the macabre or bizarre. Common themes include power, isolation and confinement.
MANY are included here, though I won’t say which as to not spoil anything.
Another GOTHIC theme-the burdened male protagonist, which we have in Wayland, a young man with deformed pinky fingers, who has never received counseling for dealing with the torment they bring him-or for what he witnessed. He doesn’t know if he can trust his only friend, a jock named Clay, or Juliette, the girl he has a crush on, but finds comfort in his dog, Molly, who though loved, endures some gratuitous, reprehensible things, as she isn’t spayed. (descriptions I could have done without).
I did guess a couple of things, though I had the WHY wrong. I wish I had been reading this with a friend as it BEGS for a discussion and comparison to some Classics.
Don’t let the young protagonist dissuade you from reading this!
3.75 rounded up!
If you are intrigued this will be available on October 5, 2021 from Blackstone Publishing.
I received a gifted copy through NetGalley. It was a pleasure to offer a candid review.
October 9, 2021
3.5 stars
“I am not who you think I am”
Eight words that intrigued, the brought questions, that caused tension and hid a secret.
Wayland hides the note that says those eight words after witnessing his father commit suicide. He doesn't tell anyone until years later, when he begins to question the identity of the man, he witnessed committing suicide. Wayland begins to look for answers at his local library.
This was slow to start for me but slowly and surely grabbed my attention and sucked me in. I was wondering what Wayland would find/learn. What secrets will be revealed? What truths will see the light of day?
From slow burn to tension filled, this book depicts a mystery of the past, explores grief, the search for truth, how lives can be changed. Wayland was a character to feel for. He never received the help he should have - witnessing a traumatizing event, being teased for his fingers, he slowly begins to change. He had two friends, but it was his dog, Molly who gave him unconditional love.
This was my first book by Rickstad but will not be my last.
Thank you to Blackstone Publishing and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.
Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com
“I am not who you think I am”
Eight words that intrigued, the brought questions, that caused tension and hid a secret.
Wayland hides the note that says those eight words after witnessing his father commit suicide. He doesn't tell anyone until years later, when he begins to question the identity of the man, he witnessed committing suicide. Wayland begins to look for answers at his local library.
This was slow to start for me but slowly and surely grabbed my attention and sucked me in. I was wondering what Wayland would find/learn. What secrets will be revealed? What truths will see the light of day?
From slow burn to tension filled, this book depicts a mystery of the past, explores grief, the search for truth, how lives can be changed. Wayland was a character to feel for. He never received the help he should have - witnessing a traumatizing event, being teased for his fingers, he slowly begins to change. He had two friends, but it was his dog, Molly who gave him unconditional love.
This was my first book by Rickstad but will not be my last.
Thank you to Blackstone Publishing and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.
Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com
September 12, 2021
Mysteries told from the perspective of teenagers are always interesting to me. Their lack of emotional maturity, the knowledge that only comes with age and their sense of invincibility always makes for an interesting plot.
Here, we have Wayland at age 16. At age 8, he witnessed his father commit suicide in his parents’ bedroom. Now, at age 16, he’s having doubts about what he saw. The story takes place in 1984, so Wayland’s search for information is limited to microfiche in the library and public records. He also can’t trust his mother, who got rid of all of his father’s possessions.
This is a fast paced, suspenseful story and kept me engaged. There’s a nice sense of anxiety that runs throughout. I kept finding reasons to listen to it throughout the day. As the story goes on, it becomes both darker and sadder. I felt for Wayland, as he starts to doubt everyone in his life. He makes bad decisions, which can never be reversed. The ending does a good job of tying up all the loose ends.
Steven Weber was a great narrator and I felt like he truly channeled Wayland.
My thanks to Netgalley and Blackstone Audio for an advance copy of this book.
Here, we have Wayland at age 16. At age 8, he witnessed his father commit suicide in his parents’ bedroom. Now, at age 16, he’s having doubts about what he saw. The story takes place in 1984, so Wayland’s search for information is limited to microfiche in the library and public records. He also can’t trust his mother, who got rid of all of his father’s possessions.
This is a fast paced, suspenseful story and kept me engaged. There’s a nice sense of anxiety that runs throughout. I kept finding reasons to listen to it throughout the day. As the story goes on, it becomes both darker and sadder. I felt for Wayland, as he starts to doubt everyone in his life. He makes bad decisions, which can never be reversed. The ending does a good job of tying up all the loose ends.
Steven Weber was a great narrator and I felt like he truly channeled Wayland.
My thanks to Netgalley and Blackstone Audio for an advance copy of this book.
January 12, 2022
Wayland was only eight years old when he saw his father kill himself in front of him. On the floor is a note. It says I am not you think I am. Wayland keeps the note a secret. Eight years later, he discovers a shocking truth that makes him question everything about his father's suicide. With the help of his two friends, he begins a mission to unravel the mystery of his father's death and who he truly is. Wayland can't trust anybody, and everyone is keeping secrets.
I would have gave this one 5 stars, but there were major plot holes that bothered me. Like, how do not get your child intense therapy after he witnesses his father blow his head off in front of him.? How do just rug sweep that? He's eight years old. He is not going to shake it and keep pushing. Don't get going about the secret mansion in a small town that supposedly no one knows about. If you can overlook those things, the rest of the twists are great.
I would have gave this one 5 stars, but there were major plot holes that bothered me. Like, how do not get your child intense therapy after he witnesses his father blow his head off in front of him.? How do just rug sweep that? He's eight years old. He is not going to shake it and keep pushing. Don't get going about the secret mansion in a small town that supposedly no one knows about. If you can overlook those things, the rest of the twists are great.
September 23, 2021
Wow! This is one of those books that gutted me and will stay with me for some time. I was definitely not expecting the visceral reactions that came with reading this book - at times it was uncomfortable, brutally honest, and heartbreaking.
When the book first started and I realized it was being told from a teenager's POV, I wondered if it would have too much of YA feel to it - uh, it definitely does not. Instead, the story being told from an immature teen's perspective helped to mold the storyline and bring about surprises I was absolutely not expecting. In 1976, 8-year-old Wayland comes home sick from school one day only to walk into his parents' bedroom and witness his father taking his own life. The only clue his father left was a note that said "I am not who you think I am". Wayland panics and wanting desperately to hold onto something of his father, he keeps the note hidden away until he is 16 years old and still haunted by the events of that day. He sets out to discover the truth behind the note, and whether his memories are playing tricks on him. His search ultimately changes his life forever.
This would have been an all the stars read for me if not for a couple of minor issues. I struggled with liking anyone in this book - especially Wayland. I had to constantly remind myself that 16-year-old boys do not always make the most rational choices, especially a boy who had experienced all of the things Wayland had experienced. My personal frustration though was ultimately one of the book's greatest strengths. Wayland's thoughts and actions had a way of sucking me in, and I found myself feeling put out with his mother along with him and distrustful of Clay and Juliette, so when the events unfolded in the manner they did, I was just as surprised as Wayland! The only other issue was with the font of the handwritten letters and notes (which encompasses some key parts of the book). I have no clue what font was used, but it was almost unreadable - I had to work way too hard to decipher them. I really hope it is something that is revised by an editor before the book's release. Also, and this is not a spoiler in any way, but why were we left hanging about what happened to Molly the dog? That irked me as well. 🤷♀️ Minor gripes aside, there are several jaw-dropping surprises in this one that will stay with me for some time. I had an inkling about one of them, but its reveal was still shocking for other reasons.
Overall, I Am Not Who You Think I Am is a unique, powerful read, even though some parts are a gut punch. This is not a happily-ever-after book by any means, but it makes you question how you would react in the same circumstances and leaves you with an unsettled feeling. There is no doubt in my mind that I now need to check out what else Eric Rickstad has written! 4 stars.
When the book first started and I realized it was being told from a teenager's POV, I wondered if it would have too much of YA feel to it - uh, it definitely does not. Instead, the story being told from an immature teen's perspective helped to mold the storyline and bring about surprises I was absolutely not expecting. In 1976, 8-year-old Wayland comes home sick from school one day only to walk into his parents' bedroom and witness his father taking his own life. The only clue his father left was a note that said "I am not who you think I am". Wayland panics and wanting desperately to hold onto something of his father, he keeps the note hidden away until he is 16 years old and still haunted by the events of that day. He sets out to discover the truth behind the note, and whether his memories are playing tricks on him. His search ultimately changes his life forever.
This would have been an all the stars read for me if not for a couple of minor issues. I struggled with liking anyone in this book - especially Wayland. I had to constantly remind myself that 16-year-old boys do not always make the most rational choices, especially a boy who had experienced all of the things Wayland had experienced. My personal frustration though was ultimately one of the book's greatest strengths. Wayland's thoughts and actions had a way of sucking me in, and I found myself feeling put out with his mother along with him and distrustful of Clay and Juliette, so when the events unfolded in the manner they did, I was just as surprised as Wayland! The only other issue was with the font of the handwritten letters and notes (which encompasses some key parts of the book). I have no clue what font was used, but it was almost unreadable - I had to work way too hard to decipher them. I really hope it is something that is revised by an editor before the book's release. Also, and this is not a spoiler in any way, but why were we left hanging about what happened to Molly the dog? That irked me as well. 🤷♀️ Minor gripes aside, there are several jaw-dropping surprises in this one that will stay with me for some time. I had an inkling about one of them, but its reveal was still shocking for other reasons.
Overall, I Am Not Who You Think I Am is a unique, powerful read, even though some parts are a gut punch. This is not a happily-ever-after book by any means, but it makes you question how you would react in the same circumstances and leaves you with an unsettled feeling. There is no doubt in my mind that I now need to check out what else Eric Rickstad has written! 4 stars.
May 12, 2022
“I am not who you think I am.”
Told mostly in a flashback to 1984, Wayland Maynard recounts the day that life inexplicably changed for his family. At eight years old, he witnessed the brutal suicide of his father and stole a note he found on the floor by his body.
The whole family soon feels the loss of his father. His mother gets rid of all of his belongings and begins working a new job at odd hours, his sister starts dating a lowlife scumbag that treats her poorly, and Wayland is utterly lost. The family even neglects their dog Molly. Depression and sadness consume the Maynard family.
Ten years after his father’s death, Wayland finally reads the note that he had hidden all those years ago in his closet. The message soon changes everything he thought he knew. Did he actually witness his father’s suicide?
This dark and disturbing story grabbed my attention from the very first chapter. I lost myself in the mystery surrounding Wayland’s family and enjoyed every step of the journey to the truth. I didn’t see the twists coming, and neither will you!
I especially enjoyed being taken back to 1984, where card catalogs lined the aisles of libraries and microfiche was used to help solve mysteries. I could have done without the stereotypical librarians, but any investigation where a library is used for research is a win in my book!
I listened to the audiobook which is read by the actor, Stephen Weber. He is an absolutely fantastic reader and this book was no exception.
Trigger warning: Beware of a lengthy description of cruel, disgusting, and unnecessary animal abuse. This section did not further the plot, so don’t hesitate to skip over it!
This is the first book I have read by Rickstad, but I can’t wait to get my hands on more of his writing!
4.5/5 stars rounded down
Told mostly in a flashback to 1984, Wayland Maynard recounts the day that life inexplicably changed for his family. At eight years old, he witnessed the brutal suicide of his father and stole a note he found on the floor by his body.
The whole family soon feels the loss of his father. His mother gets rid of all of his belongings and begins working a new job at odd hours, his sister starts dating a lowlife scumbag that treats her poorly, and Wayland is utterly lost. The family even neglects their dog Molly. Depression and sadness consume the Maynard family.
Ten years after his father’s death, Wayland finally reads the note that he had hidden all those years ago in his closet. The message soon changes everything he thought he knew. Did he actually witness his father’s suicide?
This dark and disturbing story grabbed my attention from the very first chapter. I lost myself in the mystery surrounding Wayland’s family and enjoyed every step of the journey to the truth. I didn’t see the twists coming, and neither will you!
I especially enjoyed being taken back to 1984, where card catalogs lined the aisles of libraries and microfiche was used to help solve mysteries. I could have done without the stereotypical librarians, but any investigation where a library is used for research is a win in my book!
I listened to the audiobook which is read by the actor, Stephen Weber. He is an absolutely fantastic reader and this book was no exception.
Trigger warning: Beware of a lengthy description of cruel, disgusting, and unnecessary animal abuse. This section did not further the plot, so don’t hesitate to skip over it!
This is the first book I have read by Rickstad, but I can’t wait to get my hands on more of his writing!
4.5/5 stars rounded down
August 24, 2021
A riveting tale of lies and betrayal. Clear you calendar before you crack the cover - you WON’T be able to put this one down!
—J.D. Barker, NY Times bestselling author of A Caller's Game
—J.D. Barker, NY Times bestselling author of A Caller's Game
March 12, 2022
I wasn’t expecting this to be a young adult gothic novel, but that’s what it is. Wayland was 8 when his father shot himself in the head, but the book takes place when Wayland is 16. He is convinced that his father did not commit suicide, despite the fact that he left behind a rather cryptic note saying “I am not who you think I am”. Wayland spends most of the book creeping around investigating, like something out of the Hardy Boys, or mooning over a girl. There is a lot of teenaged angst.
If you enjoy reading this genre you will probably like this book more than I did. You will have to believe that people in this small Vermont town are extremely stupid and unobservant. I would have expected them to at least be nosier. You will also have to believe Steven Weber did an adequate job narrating the audiobook, including the overwrought parts.
I received a free copy of this audiobook from the publisher.
If you enjoy reading this genre you will probably like this book more than I did. You will have to believe that people in this small Vermont town are extremely stupid and unobservant. I would have expected them to at least be nosier. You will also have to believe Steven Weber did an adequate job narrating the audiobook, including the overwrought parts.
I received a free copy of this audiobook from the publisher.
December 7, 2021
Review first published on mysteryandsuspense.com
It’s in the title, we know this will be a mystery concerning identity. But the identity of whom?
The story starts with a statement from the police department of a Vermont town concerning a manuscript they’ve recently received in the post. We’re given scant detail but warned that some of the content is disturbing. What follows is the story contained in the document. It takes us back to the mid-nineteen-eighties and introduces us to Wayland Maynard, a boy who at the age of eight witnessed the suicide of his father. At age sixteen he started to have doubts concerning what he actually saw that day and we are now to hear his full account of what transpired.
Wayland lived with his often absent mother and his wayward younger sister. The small group of support characters we meet include his best friend Clay, his sister’s scumbag boyfriend and Juliette, a girl that Wayland fancies from afar but is afraid to approach. Wayland and Clay do what teenagers do, which includes snooping around and catching glimpses of events that titillate and disturb in equal measure. But Wayland’s real focus is in delving back into the events of that fateful day, armed with a piece of evidence he removed from the scene and has kept to himself ever since.
Having been furnished with the background we are now treated to a fairly detailed account of events which occur over a short period of time. Wayland, Juliette (who he is now at least engaging with) and Clay are all involved, though there seems to be little discernible structure to their efforts. By now the author is adopting a tone which is part gothic horror, with his recurrent use of grandiose and hyperbolic language, but tempered with intermittent sections which have a softer coming-of-age feel. It’s an interesting mix of moods we’re being we’re being teased to adopt. The story is well paced throughout but as pieces of the jigsaw start to fall into place it’s suddenly full speed toward a final reckoning. A big finish seems likely – and that’s exactly what we get.
There are some jaw dropping moments in this story, scenes that are truly shocking and at least one which is likely to prompt a double take from readers. But is it possible that there are just too many surprise revelations to fully process and accept? Perhaps, for some, but I think most readers will simply roll with the punches and soak it all up. At its heart it’s an old story, but it’s told in a way that feels fresh. It worked for me and managed to hold me in its grip throughout.
My thanks to Blackstone Publishing for providing a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
It’s in the title, we know this will be a mystery concerning identity. But the identity of whom?
The story starts with a statement from the police department of a Vermont town concerning a manuscript they’ve recently received in the post. We’re given scant detail but warned that some of the content is disturbing. What follows is the story contained in the document. It takes us back to the mid-nineteen-eighties and introduces us to Wayland Maynard, a boy who at the age of eight witnessed the suicide of his father. At age sixteen he started to have doubts concerning what he actually saw that day and we are now to hear his full account of what transpired.
Wayland lived with his often absent mother and his wayward younger sister. The small group of support characters we meet include his best friend Clay, his sister’s scumbag boyfriend and Juliette, a girl that Wayland fancies from afar but is afraid to approach. Wayland and Clay do what teenagers do, which includes snooping around and catching glimpses of events that titillate and disturb in equal measure. But Wayland’s real focus is in delving back into the events of that fateful day, armed with a piece of evidence he removed from the scene and has kept to himself ever since.
Having been furnished with the background we are now treated to a fairly detailed account of events which occur over a short period of time. Wayland, Juliette (who he is now at least engaging with) and Clay are all involved, though there seems to be little discernible structure to their efforts. By now the author is adopting a tone which is part gothic horror, with his recurrent use of grandiose and hyperbolic language, but tempered with intermittent sections which have a softer coming-of-age feel. It’s an interesting mix of moods we’re being we’re being teased to adopt. The story is well paced throughout but as pieces of the jigsaw start to fall into place it’s suddenly full speed toward a final reckoning. A big finish seems likely – and that’s exactly what we get.
There are some jaw dropping moments in this story, scenes that are truly shocking and at least one which is likely to prompt a double take from readers. But is it possible that there are just too many surprise revelations to fully process and accept? Perhaps, for some, but I think most readers will simply roll with the punches and soak it all up. At its heart it’s an old story, but it’s told in a way that feels fresh. It worked for me and managed to hold me in its grip throughout.
My thanks to Blackstone Publishing for providing a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
September 9, 2021
These eight words had my imagination reaching for all kinds of scenarios and twists! Each time a new mystery was solved, it lead to more questions. The author did a terrific job of keeping the tension high, and throwing in some wicked twists!
Wayland comes home early from school one day and watches his father commit suicide. Afterward, he finds a note that says “I am not who you think I am”. He keeps the note and doesn’t tell anyone about it until years later when he starts to suspect that the man who killed himself may not have been his father. The event has replayed itself in his head so many times he can’t forget it until he finds some answers.
This is a highly-twisted audiobook that I strongly recommend.
Sincere thanks to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
My Rating: 4.5 ⭐️’s
Published: Oct 5, 2021
Audio: 7 hours 55 minutes
Recommend: Yes
#IAmNotWhoYouThinkIAm #EricRickstad #NetGalley #audiobookreview #InExchangeForReview #ARC #Bookstagram
#thriller #mystery
After publication, my reviews can be found at Amazon, Twitter, Instagram, GoodReads, Barnes and Noble, BookBub, NetGalley, and Edelweiss
@ericrickstad @BlackstoneAudio
Wayland comes home early from school one day and watches his father commit suicide. Afterward, he finds a note that says “I am not who you think I am”. He keeps the note and doesn’t tell anyone about it until years later when he starts to suspect that the man who killed himself may not have been his father. The event has replayed itself in his head so many times he can’t forget it until he finds some answers.
This is a highly-twisted audiobook that I strongly recommend.
Sincere thanks to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
My Rating: 4.5 ⭐️’s
Published: Oct 5, 2021
Audio: 7 hours 55 minutes
Recommend: Yes
#IAmNotWhoYouThinkIAm #EricRickstad #NetGalley #audiobookreview #InExchangeForReview #ARC #Bookstagram
#thriller #mystery
After publication, my reviews can be found at Amazon, Twitter, Instagram, GoodReads, Barnes and Noble, BookBub, NetGalley, and Edelweiss
@ericrickstad @BlackstoneAudio
October 4, 2021
Well, I sat down just to get this book started, and then spent the entire evening finishing it. There was no way I could have put it down! When I end a book by falling over on the couch, you know it’s a good one. This was amazing from page one, and I am thoroughly impressed.
Wayland got sick at school one day, and this being the ‘70s, the school nurse tells him to walk on home. He’s expecting his mom to be there, but instead he sees his dad’s truck in the driveway. He walks inside just in time to see his father kill himself. He finds a note on the bed, reading “I Am Not Who You Think I Am”. He hides it away, and never tells a soul about it.
Wayland is only eight when this happened, and the incident obviously scarred him. His mom didn’t get him any psychological help afterwards, so he was never able to process what happened that day. By the time he’s 16, he is awkward and anxious, his little sister has gone off the rails with sex and partying, and his mom is too tired from working double shifts to notice or care. But Wayland has a lot of questions about that day, and he decides that it’s finally time to get some answers.
This was a great coming-of-age story, with the added bonus of a mystery … actually, several mysteries before all is said and done. I think most readers will love Wayland; his character has issues, but he’d be crazier if he didn’t have issues after what he experienced. The ending started to go down one path and I was worried that I wouldn’t like it, but then it completely flipped tracks and turned out just as great as the rest of the story. This was a fantastic book that is well deserving of five stars.
(I’d like to thank Blackstone Publishing, Eric Rickstad and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.)
Wayland got sick at school one day, and this being the ‘70s, the school nurse tells him to walk on home. He’s expecting his mom to be there, but instead he sees his dad’s truck in the driveway. He walks inside just in time to see his father kill himself. He finds a note on the bed, reading “I Am Not Who You Think I Am”. He hides it away, and never tells a soul about it.
Wayland is only eight when this happened, and the incident obviously scarred him. His mom didn’t get him any psychological help afterwards, so he was never able to process what happened that day. By the time he’s 16, he is awkward and anxious, his little sister has gone off the rails with sex and partying, and his mom is too tired from working double shifts to notice or care. But Wayland has a lot of questions about that day, and he decides that it’s finally time to get some answers.
This was a great coming-of-age story, with the added bonus of a mystery … actually, several mysteries before all is said and done. I think most readers will love Wayland; his character has issues, but he’d be crazier if he didn’t have issues after what he experienced. The ending started to go down one path and I was worried that I wouldn’t like it, but then it completely flipped tracks and turned out just as great as the rest of the story. This was a fantastic book that is well deserving of five stars.
(I’d like to thank Blackstone Publishing, Eric Rickstad and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.)
November 2, 2021
How did I dislike this book? Let me count the ways. (1) It was boring. (2) The main character was thoroughly obnoxious. (3) Animals were killed and/or mistreated (I skipped over chunks that looked like they would be upsetting, so I might have the details wrong). (4) It was ridiculously implausible. (5) There was excessive drug use. (Ha! There wasn’t. I’m making a stupid joke because I want to stop thinking about the many annoyances of this book.)
I went from reading, to skimming, to jumping to the last chapter just to find out how it ended. Do you want to know what the dad’s cryptic note meant?? If you’re ready to roll your eyes…
This is two duds in a row. Ugh. Hopefully the next book I read will be good.
I went from reading, to skimming, to jumping to the last chapter just to find out how it ended. Do you want to know what the dad’s cryptic note meant?? If you’re ready to roll your eyes…
This is two duds in a row. Ugh. Hopefully the next book I read will be good.
August 23, 2021
Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself, finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am, and is left reeling with grief and shock. Eight years later, Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried.
I absolutely loved this dark and eerie story. It's a quick, emotional and thrilling page-turner with a lot of twists and turns. The story is very engaging and I couldn't wait to find the truth. The writing is very atmospheric and creepy and it reminded me a lot of Stephen King. I highly recommend this book and it will definitely be on my top 10 list for 2021. Don't miss out on this excellent book.
Thanks to the author, the publisher and NetGalley for this copy.
I absolutely loved this dark and eerie story. It's a quick, emotional and thrilling page-turner with a lot of twists and turns. The story is very engaging and I couldn't wait to find the truth. The writing is very atmospheric and creepy and it reminded me a lot of Stephen King. I highly recommend this book and it will definitely be on my top 10 list for 2021. Don't miss out on this excellent book.
Thanks to the author, the publisher and NetGalley for this copy.
November 11, 2022
2⭐
Featuring ~ single 1st person POV, suicide in front of a child, high school, mystery, animal abuse, umm eww ➡
Wayland is 8 when he witnesses his father's suicide. Flash forward 8 years later and he's having doubts that it was his father that he saw. Thus begins his own investigation into who that man was and where his father is now.
Animal abuse and neglect! why??
Narrated by Steven Weber for 7 hours and 55 minutes, easy to follow at 2-2.5x. He did a fine job.
That's all I've got to offer for now.
*Short Libby library loan review*
Featuring ~ single 1st person POV, suicide in front of a child, high school, mystery, animal abuse, umm eww ➡
Wayland is 8 when he witnesses his father's suicide. Flash forward 8 years later and he's having doubts that it was his father that he saw. Thus begins his own investigation into who that man was and where his father is now.
Animal abuse and neglect! why??
Narrated by Steven Weber for 7 hours and 55 minutes, easy to follow at 2-2.5x. He did a fine job.
That's all I've got to offer for now.
*Short Libby library loan review*
August 19, 2021
A quiet boy alone, made fun of at school, bullied, and of poor means. He has witnessed his father committing suicide one day as he was unexpectedly sent home from school, whereby he finds a man sitting with a shotgun to his head on his parents bed, Then……Boom!! It’s all over with - blood and brain matter is spread everywhere and the case is quickly dealt with, done, and buried.
However, before the body is removed from the bedroom, he finds a note nearby, and scoops it up.not letting anyone else know about it. It’s his secret with eight cryptic words.. Those words will lead to a lifetime of more tragedy and deeper secrets exposed.
Fast forward eight years, Wayland Maynard is still left reeling with grief and shock over his father. His mother is pulling a double shift to make ends meet; his sister is dating is dating a very egotistical and foul mouthed Shithead. Yet, he can’t let this go. - he can’t let go of what he saw and heard that day, and he’s convinced the man who died isn’t his father.. But, then who was that and what happened to his father? Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew?
I had hoped to enjoy this book a lot more than I did - I felt empty and disappointed when the story was brought to a finish. Wayland will regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.
I Am Not Who You Think I Am is a shattering tale of grief, obsession, and fate as those eight words lead to life changing events,
Enjoyable narration with proper sense stress and animation - 3.5 Stars overall.
My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an AAC , in exchange for an honest review.
However, before the body is removed from the bedroom, he finds a note nearby, and scoops it up.not letting anyone else know about it. It’s his secret with eight cryptic words.. Those words will lead to a lifetime of more tragedy and deeper secrets exposed.
Fast forward eight years, Wayland Maynard is still left reeling with grief and shock over his father. His mother is pulling a double shift to make ends meet; his sister is dating is dating a very egotistical and foul mouthed Shithead. Yet, he can’t let this go. - he can’t let go of what he saw and heard that day, and he’s convinced the man who died isn’t his father.. But, then who was that and what happened to his father? Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew?
I had hoped to enjoy this book a lot more than I did - I felt empty and disappointed when the story was brought to a finish. Wayland will regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.
I Am Not Who You Think I Am is a shattering tale of grief, obsession, and fate as those eight words lead to life changing events,
Enjoyable narration with proper sense stress and animation - 3.5 Stars overall.
My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an AAC , in exchange for an honest review.
February 18, 2022
I thought that this was a great thriller, but I don't think it was necessary to include that sweet puppy dog in it. Just saying :(
Read
November 1, 2021No rating. Just not for me and after 3 tries to get to page 100, I've struck out. Not a bad book but in a style that becomes off putting quickly to me. Effusive hyperbole mixed with general moaning.
The others out there are calling.
The others out there are calling.
October 18, 2021
Lot of drama and steamy build-up, and then a furiously inept resolution. Bah!
February 13, 2022
” words— hold power. Not magic. Not wonder. Power. Power to convince you of things, even things that do not exist.”
An exquisitely poignant, coming-of-age story that will keep you turning the page until the end. It will pull at your heartstrings for this boy turned teenager. Someone who wants to protect his sister and to have his love and affection reciprocated by a girl at school whom he thought never even knew he existed.
An eight-year-old boy witnessed a suicide in his parents’ bedroom when he went home from school early one day. On the floor, the boy picked up a square slip of paper. Written were eight words that he will keep as a secret eight years later: I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. Printed on the back were the initials SFL.
When the boy became sixteen, there are a lot of things that he is trying to make sense of: the note, the dangling legs, why his mother has banished everything that reminded them of their father, the annulment papers, the adoption papers, and birth certificate.
He will stop at nothing until he finds the answers at who is the man in his parents’ bed that shot himself. And if it’s not his father, then where is his father now?
The story will hook you from the beginning and you won’t stop reading until you find out what happened until the end. Who is this mysterious Tall Man and who is this screaming woman? Who is the man that shot himself in his parents’ bed? I can actually feel Wayland’s frustration myself. The story will make you empathize with the main character.
The story is rich in vocabulary and references to the 80s. It is told from Wayland’s point of view. Gracefully written with characters trying to overcome their past.
This book is something that would become a classic. A book that students will read in Lit class.
I am drawn to the story and would recommend the book to my bookish friends.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley from Blackstone Publishing and I’m reviewing it voluntarily.
Read the full review on Nica's Musings.
An exquisitely poignant, coming-of-age story that will keep you turning the page until the end. It will pull at your heartstrings for this boy turned teenager. Someone who wants to protect his sister and to have his love and affection reciprocated by a girl at school whom he thought never even knew he existed.
An eight-year-old boy witnessed a suicide in his parents’ bedroom when he went home from school early one day. On the floor, the boy picked up a square slip of paper. Written were eight words that he will keep as a secret eight years later: I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. Printed on the back were the initials SFL.
When the boy became sixteen, there are a lot of things that he is trying to make sense of: the note, the dangling legs, why his mother has banished everything that reminded them of their father, the annulment papers, the adoption papers, and birth certificate.
He will stop at nothing until he finds the answers at who is the man in his parents’ bed that shot himself. And if it’s not his father, then where is his father now?
The story will hook you from the beginning and you won’t stop reading until you find out what happened until the end. Who is this mysterious Tall Man and who is this screaming woman? Who is the man that shot himself in his parents’ bed? I can actually feel Wayland’s frustration myself. The story will make you empathize with the main character.
The story is rich in vocabulary and references to the 80s. It is told from Wayland’s point of view. Gracefully written with characters trying to overcome their past.
This book is something that would become a classic. A book that students will read in Lit class.
I am drawn to the story and would recommend the book to my bookish friends.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley from Blackstone Publishing and I’m reviewing it voluntarily.
Read the full review on Nica's Musings.
August 24, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and Eric Rickstad for this Audio-ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Wayland witnesses his father kill himself. The only reason his father left was a note that said "I am not who you think I am". Wayland keeps the note to himself. Eight years later and his mother, his sister, and him are struggling in many different ways. Wayland becomes determined to prove it wasn't his father who killed himself that day. With some help from his friends he is going to find the truth.
This book started off slow to me. I didn't seem to connect to Wayland at all. To me he came across as whiny, selfish, and a bit bratty. As the story went along I felt a little better about him but not much. He allows his little sister to become completely absorbed in a man who is all wrong in many ways. He resents his mother for what happened and the fact that they are poor. He treats his best friend like dirt and what ends up happening between them I find unforgivable. He criticizes everyone and is suspicious of those who are trying to help. Wayland just did not resonate well with me. As far as the twist that was unexpected and the only reason I enjoyed this book. The ending was a let down because Wayland does not get what he deserves I believe.
Wayland witnesses his father kill himself. The only reason his father left was a note that said "I am not who you think I am". Wayland keeps the note to himself. Eight years later and his mother, his sister, and him are struggling in many different ways. Wayland becomes determined to prove it wasn't his father who killed himself that day. With some help from his friends he is going to find the truth.
This book started off slow to me. I didn't seem to connect to Wayland at all. To me he came across as whiny, selfish, and a bit bratty. As the story went along I felt a little better about him but not much. He allows his little sister to become completely absorbed in a man who is all wrong in many ways. He resents his mother for what happened and the fact that they are poor. He treats his best friend like dirt and what ends up happening between them I find unforgivable. He criticizes everyone and is suspicious of those who are trying to help. Wayland just did not resonate well with me. As far as the twist that was unexpected and the only reason I enjoyed this book. The ending was a let down because Wayland does not get what he deserves I believe.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 18, 2021
While Eric Rickstad is a skilled writer who can eloquently create a hauntingly lugubrious atmosphere in the classic Gothic style, his talents are wasted on this sad tale which follows the tragic life of young Maynard Wayard after his father's apparent suicide. Yet with little actually happening plotwise and a flagrant hint in the first pages that will alert anyone who's taken Anthropology 101 as to where the reveal is headed, there's little to keep readers engaged.
The story slogs on to an absurdly cartoonish conclusion with horror effects on the level of a B-movie, culminating in a Melmothian manner that will distinguish it as probably my most cringe-worthy read of 2021. Don't waste your time.
The story slogs on to an absurdly cartoonish conclusion with horror effects on the level of a B-movie, culminating in a Melmothian manner that will distinguish it as probably my most cringe-worthy read of 2021. Don't waste your time.
September 18, 2021
Excellent read
Some things are better left unknown
A young man sees his father commit suicide. Many years later he decides to dig into why his father may have done such a thing. It is what he finds along the way, that shapes how his life goes from there
Some things are better left unknown
A young man sees his father commit suicide. Many years later he decides to dig into why his father may have done such a thing. It is what he finds along the way, that shapes how his life goes from there
October 5, 2021
Wayland is only 8 years old when he witnesses his father's suicide. He finds a note with only 8 words ... I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. Hiding the note, he keeps it from his mother. If his father wasn't the man he thought he knew, then who was he?
This question haunts Wayland for 8 more years until he finally remembers something from that shocking day .... something that makes him think the man who shot himself in the face may not have been his father at all. His mother won't listen to him or discuss what happened. Does she know more than she's willing to share?
Only two of his friends help him search for the truth.
(Book Blurb) With the help of two friends, Wayland searches for the truth. Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father’s old books, a sinister history behind the town’s most powerful family, and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland’s birth. Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland’s suspicions of everyone around him. Soon, he’ll regret he ever found the note, trusted his friends, or believed in such a thing as the truth.
This is an amazingly riveting tale of love, obsession and of lies and secrets. The story line is edgy, suspenseful from the first page, and maintaining a high level of tension and uncertainty until the unexpected, surprising ending that I never saw coming. I cannot recommend this book enough.
Many thanks to the author / Blackstone Publishing / Netgalley for the digital copy of this Psychological drama. Read and reviewed voluntarily, opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.
August 23, 2021
I wasted an entire day listening to this book.
I knew it was a bit slow but intriguing enough to stay with it.
I hate myself for that lack of judgment.
A whole day I will never get back. I'm. Just. Sad.
I knew it was a bit slow but intriguing enough to stay with it.
I hate myself for that lack of judgment.
A whole day I will never get back. I'm. Just. Sad.
October 30, 2021
Engrossing and twisted tale. I would have preferred the print version, however - after nearly five days to get through it, I must sadly conclude that the audiobook format is just not my thing :(
October 2, 2021
I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad is a psychological thriller.
First, let me thank NetGalley, the publisher Blackstone Publishing and of course the author, for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
My Synopsis: (No major reveals, but if concerned, skip to My Opinions)
Wayland Maynard is only eight when his father commits suicide right in front of him. Wayland steals the note that his father left. On it are the words "I am not who you think I am". Wayland doesn't have a clue as to what that could mean, but he misses his father, and he hides the note. His mother throws out everything she could find that belonged to his father, but Wayland rescued a few things, especially his books.
When Wayland is 16, he starts to wonder what he really saw the night his father committed suicide. He starts to doubt things, and is determined to find out the truth, even though his mother is of no help.
He finds some strange messages in his father's old books, and a tie to the town's most powerful family. Unfortunately, Wayland doesn't know who he can trust, and the story that is unfolding has him fearing no one would believe him anyway.
My Opinions:
WOW. This one grabbed me hard, and as the suspense rose, so did my need to turn those pages. The pace was good, and the twists perfect.
While I had anticipated one of the major twists, others were a real surprise. The way the author provided the reader with little tidbits of information was really good. Okay, one mystery solved, now we have another one.....
The book is about family, and grief, and obsession. It is also about secrets and lies. But a big part of it is a coming-of-age story about a teenager who has gone through a devastating "Incident", that he never really got over, and never understood. Add hormones and typical teenage angst to the mix, and it is a rather sad story. It is also a little dark.
I liked the ending, where everything got tied up nicely.
The author did an amazing job of taking us into a small town in 1984 America, where the library pays an important role. Rickstad's writing is really good, and he kept me engaged from start to finish. I will definitely be looking into his other books.
For a more complete review of this book and others (including the reason I chose to read/review this book, author information and a favorite quotation from the book), please visit my blog: http://katlovesbooksblog.wordpress.com/
November 6, 2021
I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM
Eric Rickstad
Told from a teenage narrator, I am Not Who You Think I Am started slow and burned at the end much like the old mansion. An eight-year-old child witnesses his father kill himself in his parent's bedroom and then he hides the suicide note with those eight words "I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM". He, his sister, and his mother continue to live in the house and move through their lives without any mention of what happened or his father. AT 16, he begins to search for the reason his father would kill himself and why his mother has never made any comment. And what he finds out is worth the read.
I don't think I have ever read a book that was similar to this one, so on the plus side is the uniqueness of the plot. The second plus is that it literally sucks you into the pages, you don't think it will, but it does and the end is a page burner for sure. I was certainly surprised and that is always a good thing when you have not completely figured out the plot. For me it was a good read, not a great one.. but a really good read, so 4 stars.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
Eric Rickstad
Told from a teenage narrator, I am Not Who You Think I Am started slow and burned at the end much like the old mansion. An eight-year-old child witnesses his father kill himself in his parent's bedroom and then he hides the suicide note with those eight words "I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM". He, his sister, and his mother continue to live in the house and move through their lives without any mention of what happened or his father. AT 16, he begins to search for the reason his father would kill himself and why his mother has never made any comment. And what he finds out is worth the read.
I don't think I have ever read a book that was similar to this one, so on the plus side is the uniqueness of the plot. The second plus is that it literally sucks you into the pages, you don't think it will, but it does and the end is a page burner for sure. I was certainly surprised and that is always a good thing when you have not completely figured out the plot. For me it was a good read, not a great one.. but a really good read, so 4 stars.
4 stars
Happy Reading!
September 24, 2021
This was such an entertaining psychological thriller! It was dark, gritty, twisted and incredibly clever!
Full of suspense and an abundance of misdirection, this one had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish. I was fully engaged as I felt a part of Waylands intense investigation and relished in uncovering the many shocking revelations!
I really enjoyed Rickstad’s diabolical mind and his writing style so I’m excited to read more from him!
𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝.
𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜.
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗.
Full of suspense and an abundance of misdirection, this one had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish. I was fully engaged as I felt a part of Waylands intense investigation and relished in uncovering the many shocking revelations!
I really enjoyed Rickstad’s diabolical mind and his writing style so I’m excited to read more from him!
𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝.
𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜.
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗.
February 20, 2022
This was really good until the end and it took some wild and unnecessary turns. I loved the format and the rest of the story but.. well, you’ll see what I’m talking about. It was still worth reading.
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