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452 pages, Hardcover
First published January 30, 2018
It’s like every time we try to dig out of a hole, someone’s shoveling more crap on top of us. There will never be a way out. - Drix
“Do you always grow horns when you’re mad, or do you save that for me?” Drix stretches back out, too.
I sort of hate myself that my lips turn up. “Evidently just for you.”
“Elle, it’s okay.”
That’s the thing— it’s not okay. I’m seventeen years old, I don’t know who I am, and I don’t have any idea how to get my parents to take me seriously. I’m trapped, and I can’t breathe. - Elle
“Why can’t you be both?” she asks. “The guy who wants to kiss me and the good guy?”
"Drix, you don't get to make me or my problems feel small. No one does. I'm not friends with people who want to make me feel bad about myself, my dreams or my goals."YESSSSS GIRL! Elle is wealthy and Drix's family has struggled, but that doesn't mean Elle's life is perfect and I love how she was able to recognize that and not let anyone make her feel guilty. Especially because she wasn't being overdramatic, she just wants to be heard by her parents.
Better. I'm supposed to be better. I'm always surprised to be better. Because who I am isn't good enough. Will it ever be?She's in the public eye and struggles a lot with what her responsibilities are and what she has a right to say no to. And the pressure is exacerbated by the fact that her parents keep pushing her farther into it.
"Why does being mature mean I have to let people treat me like crap, all while I smile and act like I'm grateful for being dumped on?"
"I don't know what's happening to me. I want to take coding classes, and I want an internship. But now, I don't know who I am. I've somehow become the girl who allows men to touch my body in unwelcome ways because they have power. I'm now the girl who stays silent when people say things that are offensive, and I'm the girl who gives her first kiss to a guy who makes may skin crawl. I don't know who I am anymore, but I do know I don't want to be this girl."I loved how the author wrote Elle's parents. They had a lot of depth and I must admit I never had a clear read on them. In the end I saw them just like Elle did: they're flawed but they still love her. It was truly impressive.
I understand trying to please someone you think loves you. To keep that love, you keep twisting and bending yourself to become who they want you to be until you eventually break. There's a hole in them, a hole they need filled, and the way you to become the circle that will fit into them to make them complete, even thought you're a square.He does try to push Elle away (some), but it becomes obvious that they are simply drawn to one another. And even with the consequences, they can't stay away.
I'm willingly enduring hell for the chance that her eyes will meet mine one more time.There were times when some might have seen it as insta-love, but I never got that. Were they attracted to each other? Yes. But I think the deeper connection was more about recognition of each other's pain, than any kind of instant love.
"You save the greater good when you save one person because then everyone realizes their individual life means something, too. Life has value then."It's a bit hard to explain why without going in detail to the plot, but this is one of the things Elle refuses to compromise on. Everyone kept telling her that sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good. That sometimes a single life wasn't as important as the collective. But she refused to budge. And while I understand what a few of the other characters meant, I absolutely admired her for standing by this principle.
“I have three minutes until I have to pretend in public that the last few minutes didn’t come close to breaking me.” - Elle
“What type of man am I going to be?
That’s the question.
That’s always the question.” - Drix
“It’s an awful place to be, the person responsible for someone else’s happiness, because being human, we’re going to fail. And by being human, we’ll take the lashing when we never meet expectations.” - Drix