Lifestyle & Wellness Archives

Embracing the Journey: Navigating Perimenopause, Brain Fog, and Lifelong Learning at 59

The Daily Aches and Pains of Aging: Feeling 59 and Strong

Today, I am 59 years old. This past Thanksgiving weekend and part of last week — I had my period. I still get my period at 59 years of age. Sometimes, I feel every single day of all those years, with aches and pains that appear without rhyme or reason. These are the daily reminders of aging, and while I may not be as spry as I once was, I consider myself a healthy and strong woman for my age. Each day brings something new, although it’s not really new — nothing is new in this aging body.

The Assumption That Left Me Feeling Older: “You STILL Have Your Period?!”

A few years ago, I had a conversation with a younger member of my extended family. I mentioned having a headache due to my period, and I couldn’t help but notice the shocked look on her face. It seemed to scream, “You still have your period?! I assumed you were in menopause!” That moment left me feeling a bit older than I’d like.

It is important to challenge the assumption that a woman’s stage in life can be determined solely based on her age. I am 59 and have had my period regularly since I was 14 years old! I still have to worry about pregnancy – just like I did when I was a teenager. On the other hand, a younger woman may face menopause much earlier in life due to medical reasons, when most women are typically in the prime of their reproductive years. These instances highlight the need to consider individual circumstances rather than making assumptions based on age alone.

The Elusive End: When Will My Cycle Finally Stop?

Lingering questions continue to haunt me, especially as I approach the age of 59. Despite being in the throes of perimenopause for over a decade, I find myself knowing little more than I did when this journey began. It’s perplexing how elusive answers can be when it comes to such a natural phenomenon. In the past, there seemed to be a scarcity of articles to peruse, or perhaps I simply hadn’t discovered them.

However, it seems like a positive shift is underway, with more women beginning to openly share their experiences and engage in discussions about menopause. From hilarious videos that add a touch of humor to informative articles shedding light on the subject, there is a glimmer of hope. Perhaps in the near future, there will be an abundance of information available, ensuring that women no longer feel isolated in their unique situations.

The Night Sweats Saga: An Unexpected Introduction to Perimenopause

The onset of night sweats hit me like a tidal wave, and it just had to happen during a trip to sunny California with my kids as we embarked on the infamous college tour. I suddenly I wake up in the middle of the night, feeling like I was doused me with a bucket of water. I mean, seriously?! And to make matters worse, I hadn’t packed nearly enough nightshirts to combat this unexpected deluge.

My goal the next morning was to find suitable replacements, resulting in a collection of quirky t-shirts that became my unlikely sleepwear companions. With the sweat-soaked shirts piling up, I couldn’t help but find the whole situation hilariously. It was a memory that’s vividly etched in my mind, reminding me that life has a funny way of making even the most mundane moments memorable. Ah, the joys of parenting and personal climate control!

Denying the Sea of Perimenopause: Coping with the Unexpected Changes

At the time, I didn’t immediately recognize that these were night sweats and marked the beginning of perimenopause. Denial — forget the river — I was swimming in the Sea of Denial. It was hard to recognize because my periods were as regular as ever, coming like clockwork.

Stripping Down to Beat the Heat: Managing Night Sweats with a Sense of Humor

A few months later, it happened again, this time at home. Wet nightshirt — yuck! But finally, a lightbulb went off. Duh! You are going into menopause. I didn’t even know the word “perimenopause” until talking with my gynocologist at my yearly checkup.

That was over 12 years ago, and the night sweats have come and gone and come back. When they start, I swiftly rip my nightshirt off and sleep naked. I’ve read it’s the best way to combat night sweats, and it works for me. I can usually catch it before my nightgown is soaked. I sleep naked for a few nights afterward. Mark loves this, and I have to give him fair warning – “It’s not a sign. Sorry, sweetheart.” Well, it is just not the sign he was hoping for. Eventually, the nightshirt goes back on; after all, it’s New Hampshire, and it can get cold. Plus, we have dogs that jump on the bed and adult children who visit occasionally.

The Confounding Brain Fog: Menopause or Self-Inflicted?

Ah, the brain fog — it’s so hard for others to understand unless they’ve experienced it. It could explain a few things. But is it menopausal brain fog or something else? I listen when told or read something — only to forget shortly afterward. Mark gets frustrated with me because he knows he told me whatever it was — we even talked about it. Yet the next day or even later that same day — I will look at him like I have no idea what he is referring to. Weren’t we high when we were talking about that? By the way, where did I put my phone?

A Life Unfolded: Taking Responsibility

But maybe it’s just the culmination of decades of self-abuse to your body and mind catching up to you. A history of early drug abuse in high school and college + decades of continued marijuana smoking + overtiredness due to single parenting + stress + age + grief + the pressures of everyday life = brain fog. I take responsibility for my part in this demise.

The Path to Mindfulness: Nurturing Inner Peace Amidst the Fog

The challenges of perimenopause and the haze of brain fog have led me to explore a path of mindfulness. Over the years, I’ve delved into various practices, from Buddhism and Taoism to Transcendental Meditation, guided meditation, and mantras. Daily meditation has become a cherished ritual, providing me with a sanctuary to calm and focus my menopausal mind.

In the stillness, I have discovered the profound power of self-awareness and inner peace. Mindfulness has not only helped me to navigate the ups and downs of this transitional phase but has also enriched my life in unexpected ways. It’s a reminder even as I age, the journey inward continues to unfold with new insights and serenity.

The Joy of Lifelong Learning: A Personal Revelation at 59

However, at the ripe age of 59, I’ve discovered a few things about myself. I love to learn, and I’ve made it a point to learn new things as I age. You’re never too old to learn something new, whether it’s acquiring a new language, taking a course in something that interests you, or simply reading books that entertain you. The brain needs to be exercised; learning is how you do that.

Recently, we have added 20 minutes of Tai Chi to our morning routine. It’s something that we have wanted to do for a while but for one reason or another never did it – until a couple of weeks ago.

Embracing the Journey: Aging with Resilience and a Sense of Adventure

My life at 59 may bring challenges, but it’s also an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. From perimenopause to brain fog, these are just chapters in the book of life, and the key is to navigate them with resilience, humor, and a thirst for lifelong learning. Embracing the aging journey, we find that each day holds the potential for new experiences and insights, making the road to 60 and beyond an exciting adventure.

Unplugged: South Park’s Ode to Internet Addiction

In the vibrant realm of South Park, where laughter and irreverence take center stage, there lies a hidden gem of insight. Picture this: I recently found myself in the midst of a short-lived internet outage, which unexpectedly thrust me into a state of disconnection from the digital world. As a Gen Xer, the sudden disruption made me contemplate the age-old question of our reliance on technology, a topic that South Park humorously explored in the episode “Over Logging.”

In this hilarious installment, the colorful denizens of South Park grapple with the consequences of an internet outage. Their attempts to adapt to this unexpected disruption, while laced with humor and absurdity, highlight the ubiquity of online connectivity in our lives. And as I navigated through my own momentary disconnection, I couldn’t help but draw parallels to the episode and contemplate the impact of our reliance on technology in our fast-paced, digital era.

So, let us take a moment to appreciate the brilliance of South Park, where the blend of laughter and social commentary spark introspection. Whether through crude humor or animated hijinks, the creators of South Park have a knack for unveiling profound insights that strike a chord with audiences of all ages. And in the case of “Over Logging,” this episode has certainly served as a lighthearted reminder of the potential consequences that come with tethering ourselves too closely to the digital realm.

https://youtu.be/V4dOkJSwrJw

The Internet Addiction: A Modern Phenomenon

As I sat with my cell phone, staring at a blank white screen during the outage, I couldn’t help but reflect on the addictive nature of the internet. South Park’s satirical portrayal of internet dependence in its early days now appears eerily prophetic. The episode “Over Logging” originally aired in 2008, when the internet was still in its relative infancy compared to today’s vast and intricate digital landscape. Back then, the idea of an internet outage causing chaos and panic seemed like a far-fetched exaggeration for comedic effect. Little did we know that the cartoon’s fictional scenes would foreshadow a far more intense and concerning reality.

In the 15 years since “Over Logging” first aired, our society’s reliance on the internet has grown exponentially. With the rapid advancements in technology, the internet has seeped into every aspect of our lives, from communication and entertainment to work and education. Two generations have come of age during this digital revolution, and the internet has become an inseparable part of their daily routines and identities.

Today, the fear of temporary disconnection from the internet goes beyond mere inconvenience; it reveals a deep-rooted dependency that has permeated our lives. Social media has become a primary platform for communication, validation, and self-expression, making us question our self-worth and belonging without constant online validation. The ability to access limitless information within seconds has transformed us into digital beings, continually craving the next piece of content, news, or notification. Sadly, the South Park episode which was such an exaggeration when it aired 15 years ago, doesn’t seem like such a stretch anymore given some of the anarchy our country has witnessed since.

As we confront the reality of our internet addiction, we must ponder how much of our lives have been consumed by the digital world. The simple joys of face-to-face interactions, outdoor activities, and hobbies that once filled our days have been pushed aside in favor of scrolling feeds and consuming endless online content.

The cautionary tale depicted in “Over Logging” becomes increasingly prophetic as our world continues to be heavily dependent on the internet. In today’s society, the internet has become an integral part of our daily lives, permeating nearly every aspect of our existence. From communication and information access to entertainment and commerce, the internet has revolutionized the way we interact with the world.

The episode “Over Logging” serves as a stark warning about the consequences of internet addiction and the potential dangers of overreliance on technology. It foretells a future where our connection to the internet becomes so deeply ingrained in our lives that we lose touch with reality.

In this thought-provoking episode from 2008, Shelley’s online relationship with Amir serves as a glimpse into a world where people are more comfortable with virtual connections than in-person relationships. It highlights the growing trend of relying on online platforms for social interactions, work, education, and even healthcare. The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has only intensified this reliance, underscoring the importance of the internet for maintaining connections and accessing essential services.

However, “Over Logging” warns us of the potentially detrimental effects of this dependence. By neglecting real-life interactions, outdoor activities, and genuine human connections in favor of instant online gratification, we risk losing touch with the richness and depth that the physical world offers.

While the internet undoubtedly brings numerous benefits, we must approach it with self-awareness and establish healthy boundaries. It is crucial to find ways to disconnect from the virtual world and reconnect with the physical realm. By doing so, we can preserve our humanity, foster authentic relationships, and cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling existence in our increasingly internet-dependent world.

“Over Logging” serves as a powerful reminder that we should strive for a mindful approach, recognizing both the advantages and pitfalls of the internet. By maintaining a sense of perspective and actively seeking a balance between the virtual and physical realms, we can navigate the digital age while preserving our well-being and genuine human connections.

A Walk Down Memory Lane: Life Before the Internet

Boomers and Gen Xers like myself were fortunate to experience life before the internet’s omnipresence. We remember when we communicated through handwritten letters, kept our thoughts in journals (which I still do), and solved complex equations with calculators. Today, as an internet outage forced me away from my digital devices, I found myself tending to the garden and reconnecting with nature – a reminder of the simpler days when we didn’t depend on constant connectivity.

While weeding the garden beds and spending time with Gertrude, our hen, I realized the value of disconnecting from the digital world. Embracing this moment of respite allowed me to reflect on the importance of slowing down and engaging in offline activities. I took the opportunity to draft this article and find joy in reading a few pages from my current read, Maame. I even cooked dinner, savoring the process without the constant distraction of notifications.

When the internet and cell service finally returned, I felt the overwhelming urge to catch up on missed tasks, highlighting just how deeply ingrained our internet habits have become. It served as a reminder to strike a balance between the online and offline worlds, making time for both technological advancements and the simple pleasures of life.

A Glance at the Amish: A Simpler Lifestyle

The Amish provide an interesting contrast in our tech-driven society. Despite all the technological advances around them, they thrive without these modern conveniences. Their simpler lifestyle is a testament to the potential of finding fulfillment beyond the screen. They have built strong communities, relying on close-knit relationships, traditional skills, and a deep connection with nature. In a SHTF scenario, my bet is that the Amish would do just fine, hardly missing a beat depending on the disaster. While we may not need to go to such extremes as the Amish, we could certainly learn something from their ability to thrive without internet addiction.

In our hyperconnected world, where digital devices and social media consume much of our time and attention, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and feel a sense of disconnection. We often lose sight of the importance of face-to-face interactions, meaningful conversations, and genuine human connections. The Amish, on the other hand, put a strong emphasis on family, community, and shared values. They prioritize quality time spent together, engaging in activities that foster personal growth and strengthen their bonds.

Imagine a life without constantly checking notifications, scrolling through endless feeds, or being bombarded with information overload. It may seem daunting at first, but the Amish lifestyle reminds us that there is joy and fulfillment to be found in simpler things. Instead of mindlessly consuming digital content, they invest their time and energy in productive pursuits such as farming, woodworking, quilting, and other crafts that bring them a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

Unplugging from technology can be liberating. It allows us to be more present in the moment, to connect with our surroundings, and to engage with others in a deep and meaningful way. The Amish have embraced this way of life for generations, successfully navigating the challenges that come with living in a world where technology is pervasive. They have found ways to adapt and thrive without sacrificing their core values and beliefs.

Of course, it’s not realistic for everyone to completely disconnect from the digital world. Technology has undoubtedly brought numerous advancements and conveniences that enhance our lives. However, incorporating elements of the Amish lifestyle can help us find a healthier balance. We can strive to set boundaries with technology, prioritize offline interactions, and discover the joy of engaging in activities that bring us fulfillment beyond the virtual realm.

The Amish lifestyle serves as a reminder that there is more to life than the constant pursuit of digital stimulation. By embracing a simpler, more intentional way of living, we can find

The Over-Logging of Hours Online

Like the destructive consequences of over-logging on our environment, our excessive internet use has left its mark on society. The constant logging in and logging out, the relentless browsing, and the mindless scrolling have led to a troubling epidemic of internet addiction. Studies have shown that excessive internet use can severely affect our mental health, leading to increased anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. As we lose ourselves in the virtual world, our real-life social interactions suffer, and the genuine connections we once cherished take a backseat to superficial online interactions. We prioritize virtual likes and comments over meaningful face-to-face conversations, further isolating ourselves from the richness of human connection.

Additionally, our obsession with the internet has taken a toll on our productivity in everyday life. The constant influx of information, notifications, and entertainment acts as a major distraction, preventing us from fully focusing on important tasks. In our quest to juggle multiple things at once, we often find ourselves scattered across various online platforms, unable to give our full attention to anything in particular. This constant screen swapping leaves us feeling overwhelmed and unsatisfied, making it difficult to concentrate and engage in deep work.

In the era of boundless internet access, it is crucial to be mindful of how we allocate our time on the digital landscape. Findings suggest that excessive online engagement can overshadow essential aspects of our lives if left unchecked. To overcome this challenge, we must prioritize self-awareness and adopt intentional internet habits. By actively regulating our online activities, setting clear boundaries, and cultivating tech-free moments, we can ensure a more balanced and mindful existence. Let us embrace the power of being present, forging genuine connections, and savoring the meaningful moments that unfold beyond the screen. Together, we can navigate the digital realm with purpose and reclaim control over our time and attention.

Life in the Internet age offers undeniable benefits, but we must recognize and address the drawbacks of excessive Internet use. As a society, we must learn to cherish moments of disconnection and embrace simpler pleasures, much like the Amish lifestyle champions. South Park’s humorous take on internet addiction may have been entertaining in its early years, but it now serves as a poignant reminder of the growing problem. We must reflect on the generations born into this addiction and work towards fostering a healthier relationship with technology. So, let’s log off, step outside, and rediscover the joys of life beyond the screen, just as the Amish have done for centuries.

So let us learn to live with the Internet, not for it.
Randy Marsh, South Park – Over Logging

Creamy and Briny Delights: Exploring the American Paradise Seafood Chowder

Daily writing prompt

What foods would you like to make?

View all responses

The dampness pervades everything, and the clouds hang low, heavy with impending rain—it’s just a matter of when, not if. The fog lingers, gently caressed by a breeze. On days like these, all I crave is the comfort of a warm, hearty bowl of chowder. The soul-soothing embrace of a New England or “white” clam chowder—the creamy goodness that never fails to delight my taste buds.

Recently, I had the pleasure of listening to Here’s to Us by the talented Elin Hilderbrand. Within the story, I discovered four authentic recipes, among them, a tantalizing seafood chowder. As a chowder enthusiast, my interest was immediately piqued.

In the author’s note, Elin Hilderbrand gives credit to her dear friend, Nancy Harmon Jenkins, a renowned food writer and cookbook author, for inspiring her American Paradise Seafood Chowder. The mere mention of it conjures images of a chowder that’s thick and velvety, with the briny essence of the sea dancing on your palate. Just imagine the rich aroma of the ocean mingling with the smoky richness of bacon, complemented by the tenderness of perfectly cooked clams and the unique addition of diced tomatoes. Fresh herbs lend their magic, elevating the flavors to an exquisite symphony of taste.

I must confess, I am a devoted fan of The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, and her scrumptious chowder recipe featuring Yukon gold potatoes. That has always been my go-to recipe. However, this new recipe, raved about by Elin Hilderbrand, has sparked my curiosity to embark on a culinary adventure, despite the absence of potatoes.

As I think about preparing this American Paradise Seafood Chowder, I can’t help but anticipate the sheer delight it will bring to my taste buds. I find myself daydreaming about savoring every spoonful, cocooned in the warmth of a cozy sweater while the raindrops gently patter against the windowpane. Mmm. I wish I had a bowl in front of me right now.

So, with chowder weather settling in, I am determined to set my culinary compass and venture beyond my usual recipe. I am eager to explore the culinary wonders of this American Paradise Seafood Chowder. Let’s embrace the richness of the sea and the heartwarming flavors that await us in this delightful creation. Here’s to trying new recipes and discovering the best clam chowder I’ve ever had!

P.S. In my latest blog article titled Cooking up Emotions: A Review of ‘Here’s To Us’, I invite readers to join me in the Lit Lounge for a captivating exploration of Elin Hilderbrand’s novel.

10 Ways to Protect Your Health During Wildfire Season

Hey there, pack mates! The Earthy Alchemist, here to share some valuable insights with you. Today, I want to discuss something many of us face more often – the invisible menace lurking in the air during wildfires. Wildfire smoke is no trivial matter, but there are ways to stay safe and entertained indoors when the outside world is cloaked in haze.

Wildfires have become more frequent and intense as the seasons shift and climate change looms large. With them, a host of harmful pollutants fills the air, posing a severe health hazard to our precious pack members. We all have apps on our phones to track the Air Quality Index. Here in New Hampshire today, a thick haze again obscured my view of the lake and mountains.Across the world, I read about of wildfires in Loutraki, Greece – a neighborhood near where I have family, and although they are safe – thankfully – indeed, they are dealing with poor air quality. Ironically, despite having active fires nearby, their air quality Index reads 51 US AQI PM2.5 vs. my town’s current 117 US AQI PM2.5. What’s PM2.5 – it’s good to know what this means since it can affect your health. According to my Air Quality Index app – PM2.5 particles are floating particulate matter in the air measuring 2.5 micrometers in diameter or less. That’s so small that it can be absorbed into your bloodstream upon inhalation. So, this pollutant is something to understand since it poses the most significant health threat.

Between the smoke-filled, poor-air-quality days and the torrential downpours that make it impossible to be outside, I managed to steal a moment of bliss in my garden. Despite the haze of Canadian wildfire smoke, I nestled on my very uncomfortable porcelain ornate garden stool that could use a cushion. I weeded away, savoring the melodious words of my audiobook, Here’s to Us. I highly recommend listening to audiobooks while weeding – I find time flies when I am absorbed in a good listen. I feel a deep connection to the earth in precious minutes like these, as if our roots intertwine and whisper secrets. The scent of the rosemary and tomato plants, accompanied by the tender caress of the breeze and the songs of the birds, created a harmonious symphony that soothed my spirit. It’s one of my favorite feelings. I am grateful for these moments.

With an eye on the clock, I savored the time outdoors without overextending my stay. An hour it was, no more, as I listened to the audiobook’s tales of life, love, and resilience. Then, with gratitude in my heart for that serene escape, I returned to the safety of my den, where clean air embraced me like a warm hug – despite being cold from the air conditioner filtering the air. Ah, what a delicate balance it is – enjoying the wonders of nature while safeguarding our health in these challenging times. But with mindful actions and awareness, we can still bask in the wonders of the great outdoors, even as we cherish the comforts of our indoor adventures.

When the air quality takes a nosedive, it’s time to retreat indoors. Gather ’round, pack, and huddle in the safety of your den! Keep those windows and doors closed tight to keep the smoke at bay. If you’re lucky enough to have air conditioning, crank it up – it’s like having your very own air purification system!

Now let’s delve deeper into staying healthy amidst the smoky haze. Hydration, my friends, is a magical elixir that can work wonders in flushing out those pesky pollutants from our bodies. Breathing in polluted air can irritate our airways and lungs, causing discomfort like coughing and wheezing. But fear not, for staying hydrated helps to thin the mucus in our airways, making coughing up those bothersome particles easier. Not only that, but it keeps our airways moist, providing a protective shield against further irritation. So, let’s raise our metaphorical chalices and drink up – water, clear broth, unsweetened tea, whatever tickles your fancy – and keep ourselves refreshed and ready to howl with vitality.

When the air quality is poor, it’s essential to be mindful of our physical activities. You see, my active pack members, engaging in strenuous exercises can increase our breathing rate, exposing us to even more pollutants. But fret not, for we have a cunning plan. If you must be active, why not seek refuge indoors or find a spot with pristine air quality for your escapades? By doing so, you protect yourself from unnecessary exposure while still getting your much-needed dose of fun.

So, let’s sum up our master plan for days with less than stellar air quality: Stay hydrated like a true Earthy Alchemist, and drink plenty of fluids like water, clear broth, and unsweetened tea. Remember, sugary drinks won’t do the trick, so let’s leave those behind. Fill your plates with the bounty of fruits and veggies, with their high water content, to keep you refreshed and satisfied. And when you’re out and about, exercising and exploring, take those well-deserved breaks to rest and hydrate – after all, we’re in this adventure together!

With these tips, my dear pack, we can stay hydrated and vibrant, even amidst the haze of wildfire smoke. So let’s drink up, stay wise, and be ready for whatever this unpredictable wilderness throws our way!

Now, for our brave pack members who must work outside despite the smoke, fear not; there are things that you can do to protect yourself! Equip yourself with an N95 mask or respirator – your lungs will thank you. Take breaks often, dash back indoors to breathe clean air, and recharge when you can. If you labor in areas with heavy smoke, consider seeking refuge in well-ventilated buildings or using fans to keep the air circulating. And remember, always listen to your body – if you’re feeling unwell, take a break and prioritize your health.

But when the smoke gets unbearable, it’s time to find adventure within the cozy confines of your den! As a wolf with a love for exploration, I know that staying entertained indoors is crucial. But first, let’s talk about the importance of having the proper air filtration in our cozy dens. I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to keep the air we breathe pure and invigorating. With wildfire smoke and various pollutants floating about, having a reliable air purifier can be a lifesaver. These magical devices work tirelessly to filter out those pesky particles, ensuring that our den becomes a sanctuary of fresh, clean air. So, consider investing in a top-notch air filtration system – your lungs will thank you, and your pack will howl with joy at the difference it makes!

Instead of scrolling the hours away – use your time indoors productively.

There are always more than enough indoor chores that we put off – or at least I do. There are the financial things we could be more focused on – downloading and categorizing the monthly charges from the credit cards into a financial program or spreadsheet. Not so much fun to do but important. Again, I find that the time goes much faster when I am listening to a good book or podcast.

Then there are the “fun” things like going through closets and drawers to go through clothes to purge, donate, and keep. It’s always good to look around to see if there is anything that you can contribute to the local community thrift shop or church for others in need. Then you can always have the option to unleash your creativity! Embrace your inner artist and dabble in painting, drawing, writing, or crafting. The possibilities are endless, and creating something with your hands is genuinely fulfilling. Or perhaps you have a thirst for knowledge. Dive into the vast realm of online courses and tutorials, where you can learn anything from cooking delightful treats to mastering coding skills – talk about a howling good time! I take many classes online from teachers on Masterclass, BBC Maestro, and Patreon in various topics, including writing, drawing zen meditation, and cooking.

Games, anyone?

Howl excitedly as you gather your pack members for board, video, or thrilling card games. I have always loved playing games – board, dice, card, lawn games – you name it, I love playing them. The conversations, bonds, and memories formed over game sessions are unforgettable! When you have had enough bonding time and need to retreat for some private time, why not lose yourself in a captivating book? Reading is an excellent way to unwind and escape into other worlds, leaving the worries of wildfire smoke behind. And, of course, if you need help picking a book, check out my reviews on Goodreads for a selection of must-reads.

I live with a musician, so music is a part of my life. Mark is always playing his guitar, playing one tune or another. Let the soothing sounds of music fill your space as you relax and rejuvenate. Create a playlist for your commute to work or the trip you plan to take. Explore new genres – music has the power to heal our spirits. We tend to listen to the same old thing all the time – mix it up! You will be surprised at the music you might like. For instance, earlier today, Mark asked our Alexa AI to play something – I forget exactly what he wanted it to play, but what it played was a very catchy tune that made you want to dance. The song, according to our Alexa activity log, is Maahi Ve by Shankar Mahadevan, Sadhana Sargam, Udit Narayan, Sonu Nigam, Madhushtree, Loy Mendonsa, Ehsaan Noorani & Javed Akhtar. I guess they couldn’t decide on a band name. It was a fun song, and we will listen to it again sometime – it was happy music that made you want to move your body to it.

Remember the importance of spending quality time with your pack. Whether it’s playing games, listening to music, watching a movie, or simply sharing stories, cherish these moments of togetherness. And when cabin fever creeps in, take a break from the pack. Embrace some downtime by taking a nap, relaxing bath, or simply sitting in silence to reconnect with your inner wolf. Remember, the key is to find indoor activities that bring joy and fulfillment. And even indoors, make it a point to venture outside for fresh air and bask in the sunshine when the smoke clears.

So there you have it. Wildfire smoke may be a formidable foe, but we can protect our health, connect, and thrive amidst any challenge that comes our way. Stay safe and curious. Let’s continue to seize these precious moments, both inside and out, finding solace in creativity, knowledge, games, and togetherness. As the wildfire smoke dances in the distance, we’ll hold on to our strong bond and navigate this journey together. Here’s to us, my dear pack, facing each day with courage and wisdom. Embrace life, literature, and everything in between as we journey through the ever-changing wilderness of life. Inch by inch, step by step. Until we howl again, let’s keep thriving and howling with joy!

Sources include:

My March Reads & Listens

We welcomed spring to the mountain in true New England style this month – four seasons in one day. March was filled with a mix of snow – lots of snow, wind – 58 mph wind at one point, and sunshine. There were days where it was 10ºF and other days it was 48ºF. I was reading when I wasn’t outside snowshoeing with Mark and the dogs or bringing in firewood. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to draw – a creative dry spell that started months ago now. Reading and writing have been a saving grace for me as I am still just a few months out from my dad’s death, and the grieving process takes time.

I finished five books in March: two hardcover – The Plot and The Hidden Life of Trees – Illustrated Edition. I listened to two audiobooks – A Grief Observed and The City We Became and finished Alice Walker’s collection of short stories in her book In Love & Trouble on my kindle. I am really enjoying reading short stories; I think great writers say as much in a short story as mediocre authors can in an entire book.

In Love & Trouble: Stories by Alice Walker

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Alice Walker’s Love & Trouble: Stories is a powerful and moving collection of thirteen of her short stories, which I highly recommend. Published in 1984, each story is rich in imagery, symbolism, and themes. “Everyday Issue,” “The Revenge of Hannah Kemhuff,” “Strong Horse Tea,” “Roselily,” and “To Hell with Dying” were just some of the other stories demonstrating the talents of Walker’s ability to say so much in short story form. Each story is filled with emotion and insightful narratives revealing how racism, sexism, and classism have affected black women.

Mysteries are some of my favorite books, and The Plot was a highly praised book when it first came out, which enticed me to put it on my TBR list initially. A few friends read and liked it, so I was excited to finally turn my attention to what I hoped would be a juicy mystery.

The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz is a story about a book and writers and a mysterious story. I loved the story within a story and applaud the structure, including chapters of the main character’s best-selling novel, Crib. However, I was not a fan of the main character. The start of the book was slow for me, like how a roller coaster slowly makes its way up the first ramp. But once it reached the top, the ride has one twist I didn’t see, but I saw the final one too soon.

Sometimes I think some books get so over-hyped that they let some readers down because they fall short of what they sell. I struggled a bit during the month with grief and wanted to read something I could relate to. Many years ago, I read the entire Narnia series and was a fan of Lewi’s writing, so I was intrigued when I tripped over A Grief Observed.

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Recently I have been very acquainted with death and thought I would find something – I am not sure what – in CS Lewis’s A Grief Observed. Lewis has many of the same questions we all have when faced with death and listening to someone else work out these thoughts about love and death; compiled in his notebooks – the title A Grief Observed – not Grief Observed indicates that Lewis recognized that grief is a very individual and personal experience. No two people experience grief in the same way.

I listened to A Grief Observed, narrated by Ralph Cosham, whose monotone and subdued voice seemed fitting given the topic. Good thing the book is only 1 hour and 50 minutes, however. There is only so much that one can listen to. If you are a fan of CS Lewis and interested in reading his entire catalog, perhaps this book is for you if you are grieving and hoping to find answers or some insight to help you get through your grief – maybe. Not that Lewis has the answers, but for some, it helps to know that we all struggle when we lose a loved one; even a famous author doesn’t hold the answers.
2.5 stars rounded up to 3 for Goodreads

Most mornings, I sit at the kitchen table sipping my second cup of coffee while figuring out Wordle, Quordle and Octordle, to which I share my results on my family’s Wordle text thread. Afterward, before sitting down on the mat to meditate – I usually crack open the book I have strategically left there for me to read. I love learning about nature and walking in the woods throughout the year. So I was really excited when at Christmas, I received The Hidden Life of Trees – The Illustrated Edition.

The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

What a beautiful book! The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben is an illustrated companion to his non-illustrated book of the same name. Wohlleben beautifully and simplistically presents his case for the unseen ways trees work within our environment in this abridged version. This book is for anyone interested in our environment, forests, and trees to enjoy. The photos are transcendingly magical, immediately transporting you to the woods no matter where you are sitting. You will want to go outside and be with the trees after reading.

When the month started I had already started listening to my next selection which I chose since it had been on my TBR list for over a year and was a Goodreads Choice Award and Nominee for Best Fantasy (2020).

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin is an urban fantasy about major cities becoming sentient through human avatars. It’s a wild leap into a confusing, chaotic, multidimensional, supernatural world focused on New York City. A lot is going on in this book – just like the city – there are multiple characters with the narrative jumping around numerous POVs. There are various themes – too many to list.
I wanted to like this book more since I was born and raised in Manhattan and love books about or that take place in the city, but I had a tough time getting into this story. I liked the idea that a human avatar would embody the borough it’s from. I chuckled at how Jemisin includes how each borough feels about the other boroughs – particularly how they all felt about Staten Island. But the setup was slow and many times, I wasn’t sure what was happening; plus, I didn’t find any of the characters likable, which always makes loving the story more difficult. I like the premise, but it fell short for me.
I listened to the audiobook, which lasted 16 hours and 12 minutes. The narrator, Robin Miles, does an excellent job with the many voices. 3 Stars.

So far, at the end of March, I have finished reading 20 books and completed 34% of my goal of 59 books. Currently, I have six books that I am reading in rotation. One is the Bible which I have been trying to read and finish for about two years. I am reading along with “The Bible in a Year” podcast with Father Mike Schmitz on Audible. I’m only on day 90, but we have just started reading Judges and the Book of Ruth, so it’s exciting for me to be this far in.

I am also chipping away at The Art of The Short Story and The Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales. I have so many reading goals that I have set for myself. The little challenges get me excited about reading. I hope these reviews help anyone in selecting their next book to read and perhaps get them psyched for their next read or listen.

“Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw (Irish playwright, critic, polemicist and political activist)

View all my reviews on Goodreads

February Reads & Listens

It’s been a rough month – it only being the second month since my father’s death; he was our sole surviving parent. My mother passed away less than two years ago. Everything is still hard to give my complete focus and attention. Grief smacked me upside the head as I stared down at a knife the other day while unloading the dishwasher. Tears sprung from my eyes as my mind taking me to my parent’s kitchen and their utensils and knives. My parents ~~have~~ had the same knife that caused this floodgate to open –if no one in the family takes it, the knife will be donated along with the rest of the cutlery and everyday plates. No wait, I grabbed the dishes. My feet sink into what feels like sand, hoping to find firm ground.

One of the rocks I’ve been able to cling to during these stormy times has been my books. My pace has slowed, along with everything else. I surprised myself as I completed reading six books, also reading a few short stories as I continue working through The Art of the Short Story. I am reviewing the individual stories but will do so in a separate post. Writing is more difficult these days.

I followed many different themes this month, helping to guide me in making my literary selections. Sometimes I find that to be one of the greatest challenges – what do read next. February celebrated Black History, and I looked to my TBR List to see what fit the bill. Octavia Butler’s Kindred had been sitting on the list for too long, and I was excited by the time-traveling aspect of the story. I love a good time-traveling tale.

Kindred by Octavia E. Butler

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love historical fiction, and I love time travel stories. So, I was excited to read Octavia Butler’s Kindred finally. The story focuses on two interracial relationships, with the protagonist, Dana, at the center of both. When the story begins its 1976, Dana, a 26-year-old African American writer, is living in Los Angeles with her white male husband, Kevin, who is 12 years her senior. Although Dana is thrust back to antebellum Maryland in 1815, quite a shock for a 20th-century woman. The story follows the developing relationship of Dana with her ancestor, Rufus, the son of a plantation and slave owner, Tom Waylan. Kindred explores ancestry, slavery, and interracial relationships and is a riveting story about family, gender, and power. Butler is a fantastic storyteller who creates interesting characters and relationships. Initially published in 1979, it has withstood the test of time to have been made into a TV mini-series in 2022. I haven’t seen the mini-series, but hopefully, it will prompt others to read the original book themselves. My criticism about the book is that the time travel aspect wasn’t consistent, and the mechanism/portal was unclear to me; other than that, I highly recommend it. I listened to the Audiobook narrated by Kim Staunton, who successfully brings the various characters to life. 10 hours 55 minutes.

Recently I have been intrigued by reading graphic novels. There was something appealing to me about looking at pictures that told a story. Perhaps it was the inner child in me trying to reach back for the comfort of my picture books. It’s a genre I have only just begun to dip my toes into its deep waters. Robin Ho’s Almost American Girl and Isabel Greenberg’s The Encyclopedia Of Early Earth were a promising way to wade in.

Almost American Girl: An Illustrated Memoir by Robin Ha

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Moving is one of the most stressful things people do in life. We’ve all experienced it at one point or another, and if you haven’t – at some point, you will. But most people don’t move to a new country, and for those who do, the experience is even more scary and filled with barriers such as the language. Almost American Girl is a touching YA graphic novel about a middle-school-aged girl being uprooted by her mother from her home in Korea to live in America. Robin Ha’s honest and poignant portrait of her relationship with her mother is powerful and relatable on many levels. I loved Ha’s illustrative style, and the format was an inviting framework for her memoir. This story is pertinent in many ways to more than just the young adult reader. 4.5 Stars rounded to 5 for the Goodreads star system.

The Encyclopedia of Early Earth by Isabel Greenberg

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Encyclopedia of Early Earth is a graphic novel with interesting and imaginative woodcut-style illustrations by Isabell Greenberg. The nested story style is one that Greenberg is comfortable with, and I have seen her use it in other graphic novels. The story follows the journey of a boy from his home at the North Pole to the South Pole, where he finds true love. The stories are all retellings of well-known biblical and mythological tales, and after a while, I started to get a bit bored. The last two stories seemed out of sequence with the rest of the book, although it is an “encyclopedia,” which isn’t necessarily sequential. This was the second book I have read of Isabelle Greenberg’s, although this was her debut novel. There were many similarities between the two books, and what I found unique and exciting the first time wasn’t as much so the second time around.

One of my reading goals is to read my way through the collection of various favorite authors I have. My parents were both huge fans of Agatha Christie and they were the ones who introduced me to her murder mysteries when I was a teenager. This month I chose to focus on Christie; I was excited to return to the beginning with her debut novel, The Mysterious Affair at Styles.

The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Sisters can challenge us like no other, and we tend to rise to the occasion when they do. Madge Christie dared her sister, Agatha, to write a mystery that the reader couldn’t figure out the murderer – thankfully, Agatha was up for the challenge. As a result, she wrote what would be her debut novel, The Mysterious Affair at Styles, which also featured the Belgian detective Hercule Poirot. Poison was her first weapon of choice; Christie had an extensive understanding of medicines and poisons from her volunteer work in the dispensary in the Torquay hospital during World War I.

I enjoyed reading this mystery – silly me thought I was clever enough to figure out the murderer since I have read several of her books. That is the beauty and the genius of her mysteries that make them so enjoyable. The Mysterious Affair at Styles proved to be an excellent stepping stone.

Finally, I read two more books – one on my Kindle – The Wim Hof Method: Activate Your Full Human Potential. I have followed Wim Hof on Instagram for several years and wanted to start incorporating cold therapy into my life more than I have with deep breathing and meditation. The Life Fantastic: Myth, History, Pop and Folklore in the Making of Western Culture was a book selected by the Literati Joseph Campbell Myth & Meaning Book Club, and I was excited to sit down with this finally.

The Wim Hof Method: Activate Your Full Human Potential by Wim Hof

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A Must Read-

I have followed Wim Hof for many years now on social media, so it was a real treat to read the Wim Hof Method. It’s filled with valuable information to help teach the many techniques which Wim Hof uses. Backed by science,Wim includes the results of many of the experiments done on him – strengthening his case for why his method works. Highly recommend to all.

The Life Fantastic: Myth, History, Pop and Folklore in the Making of Western Culture by Noa Menhaim

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

My To Be Read List grew exponentially while reading The Life Fantastic: Myth, History, Pop, and Folklore in the Making of Western Culture by Noa Menhaim. I love reading books like this, and although the format at first took me some time to get used to, in the end, I found the pop-up bubbles to be valuable prompts. I needed a magnifying glass near me since my eyes aren’t great. This book is all about connecting the dots in understanding where modern culture was influenced.

At the close of the month, I have completed 22% of my Goodreads Challenge with thirteen books finished. I’m currently working on a few more including Alice Walker’s collection of short stories and an interesting mystery called The Plot to name a few. Until next month, enjoy reading.

The Only Constant is Change

It’s mid June and the summer will be officially beginning next week. It’s one of the subtler shifts of seasons. Spring to summer is not as dramatic as the other shifts in seasons. Summer’s shift into fall greets us with crisp cooling winds and the leaves shift from greens to reds, oranges, yellows and browns. We switch our wardrobes, putting away the spring/summer clothes and start bringing out the leather boots and suede jackets. From fall to winter the landscape features changes even more dramatically as the trees shed their leaves and we are left with their mere silhouettes. Our heavier wardrobe comes front and center – coats, gloves, hats and scarves. Mother Nature gessoes her canvas with snow and ice. Winter into spring is one of the most dramatic shifts as we all thaw and watch with amazement Mother Nature begin to paint the barren landscape with fresh colors of a new season.

As the days fly by, my body seems to constantly change. An old ache here, a new ache there. Last summer I dropped 20 pounds, only to gain it all back by the end of the year. I made the mistake of buying myself smaller pants as I was losing the weight, vowing that this would be the last time I was a size 14. I’m back in my size 14 pants. Buying the 12s was fine but I tempted the weighty gods too much when I bought myself the 10s.

I’m 57 and my body continues to change as I age. I’m not yet in menopause but I have been experiencing night sweats since July 2011. I remember it well since I away with my kids looking at colleges. I had borrowed a t-shirt from my then new boyfriend (we are still together 11 years later) to have with me while I was traveling that I used as a night shirt. I remember at first thinking it might be the shirt because it had a Bob Marley graphic on it and the plastic stuff that made of the graphic I thought might be causing me to sweat. No such luck, it wasn’t the shirt. Just the first of what would eventually be many nights I’d wake up in the middle of the night cold from the soaking wet front of the my nightshirt.

I understand that it maybe easier to regulate my body temperature if I slept in the nude. According to WellandGood.com “Sleeping naked can also be beneficial for women experiencing menopause. “Hot flashes and night sweats can [wake] women up several times a night,” says Jodie Horton, MD, chief wellness advisor for Love Wellness, a women’s wellness and personal care products brand. Sleeping naked can help alleviate the not-so-fun symptoms of hot flashes.”

I slept naked for a while (although Mark would say it was for just a little bit). When the kids would come to visit I would wear a nightshirt. I raised two kids by myself, a single mom doesn’t sleep naked. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of sleeping naked in winter when it’s freezing cold. It seemed ridiculous so I fell out of the habit. Now from time to to I think maybe I should try to give it another shot.

One of the big changes that I was able to make for myself was in creating a new habit. I am trying to be more mindful in every aspect of my life. To make something a habit, I have read that you need to do whatever it is that you are trying to make that new habit for three weeks straight, And then keep going. I have been mediating daily for over a year now. I has helped give me tools to use when I get anxious. That’s another change I have been facing more recently – increased anxiety.

My anxiety increased yesterday when we discovered Mark has COVID. SO now after being so cautious and careful for the last two years, it’s here in our house. I feel like I now waiting for it to be my turn. He arrived home from a weekend away for a family funeral which required him to have to fly to Chicago. Who knows if it was the plane rides, was it on the way out? on the way back? Was it while he was with his family? I will never know the answer to these questions and it doesn’t really matter at this point. If I am going to get it, I am going to get it. He came home Sunday and today is Friday and he just started feeling shitty yesterday. So if I am going to get it I guess I may present symptoms this weekend? Breathe and stay in the present moment Xine ! Don’t let your mind go wildly off into tangents that may freak you the fuck out but never happen. Breathe.

Thankfully he is feeling better today than he was yesterday. He never gets sick so seeing not feel well is tough. I pray each day he gets stronger and we can continue on with our summer. We don’t have any plans to speak of really. We just want to enjoy working in our gardens, playing with the dogs, puttering around on the boat and enjoying one another’s company. I am so thankful for his presence in my life and the life that we share together. I am truly blessed. Which is probably why I feel like something is going to go wrong, something is going to change.

The summer solstice is approaching, sunset is now as late as 8:31pm here where I live. The irises are all in bloom, the wind is blowing in from the south right now. It’s 79ºF at 6:18pm and the barometer is dropping like a stone. The weather is changing – again. What is they say about New England? If you don’t like the weather just wait 5 minutes. I think they say this about everywhere.

When it comes to changes I try to remind myself that change can be good. Things can get stale and stagnant when there is no change at all. We change as people, not just outwardly in our physical appearance as we age – although that’s a biggie. I find I am in a minority when it comes to women my age. Many people just assume that I have already gone into menopause and are shocked if they find out otherwise. My mother was 60, she told me when she finally had her final period. It caught her off guard since she hadn’t been bleeding regularly and it had been some time, enough time that she thought she was done. Of course she was out when it decided to show up for the party one last time. She had been wearing a yellow dress and was at my brother’s graduation. Ironically she had been wearing a yellow dress the first day she got her period too. A terrifying day for her since – she had literally no idea what had just happened. She was at school and had to wear a sweater tied around her waist for the rest of the day.

At the graduation, my mother had a backup of sorts. It was my skirt that I was wearing. We had driven up for the day so we had no luggage to dive into for spare clothing. So I had to wear a pair of my brother’s pants which I literally had to hold up with my hand because his belt didn’t fit me either. What can you do? You just have to go with the flow?

One last change: Mark’s fever is back up

The Importance of Soil

This past year, as part of our journey into meditation and living a more mindful life, Mark and I began listening to talks and lectures covering topics about Buddhism, Taoism, spirituality… The app Insight Timer which is our go-to app for all things mediations also has a number of courses and talks. The talks vary in length depending on topic and teachers- some as short as 4 minutes long, others over an hour.

One of the teachers we follow is Sadhguru. Sadhguru and the Isha Foundation are dedicated to raising human consciousness and fostering global harmony through individual transformation. Sadhguru (Jagadish “Jaggi” Vasudev) started teaching yoga in southern India in 1982. He established the Isha Foundation ten years later. According to their website as part of their mission, “the foundation offers a variety of programs that provide methods for anyone to attain physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Its offerings allow participants to deepen their experience of life, and reach their ultimate potential.”

Sadhguru gives great talks – he has a wonderful sense of humor which you don’t expect from an Indian yogi. “Stop Limiting Life’s Possibility”, A Crash Course to Become More Receptive”, Enjoy the Creation” and “Inner Engineering” are just a few of the wonderful talks he has on Insight Timer. It was Mark who always does the deep diving and found Sadhguru’s website which introduced us to the Isha Foundation and his other projects.

Specifically, my ears perked up when I started to hear him discuss the importance of soil. I was a research analyst who covered the agribusiness and water sectors in another lifetime. During this time, I first learned about the importance of our soil and how our global soil is in trouble. Soil degradation is not just a problem that Americans face but also a worldwide issue. So when I heard Sadhguru talking about it, I was intrigued.

” Save Soil – Conscious Planet is a global movement launched by Sadhguru to save soil from extinction, and bring the necessary policies to address the catastrophic issue facing humanity.

This movement has garnered support from global leaders including Marc Benioff, Jane Goodall, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and institutions such as United Nations – Convention to Combat Desertification, World Economic Forum, World Food Programme, Food & Agriculture Organization of United Nations.”

#Savesoil

Yesterday was the first day of spring! A day that everybody starts to look at the ground more in anticipation of the arrival of the beautiful colorful flowers which grace our earth. Others are testing their soil and preparing their beds for planting.

Sadhguru began a quest to bring more awareness to people about the importance of our earth’s soil. Yesterday he embarked on a 100-day journey from the United Kingdom to India. 26 countries, 30,000 kilometers on his motorcycle. Sadhguru has worked for two decades to bring awareness to this soil crisis.

In 2004 he started the Project GreenHands initiative which resulted in 35 million saplings being planted over the years. They even hold the Guinness World Record for most saplings planted in a day. 6,284 trees were planted across 27 districts in Tamil Nadu, India in 2006. During the three day event, 852,587 trees were planted.

Too many people don’t fully comprehend why it is imperative to focus our attention on the global soil crisis. Sadhguru continues his mission to raise conscious awareness of the importance of our soil so that there will be nutritional soil to grow food for generations to come.

He has asked people to help him raise awareness about the soil crisis by talking about it or with your friends and family in person or on social media. I join this him in this mission – I have understood the importance of our soil for decades and have been frustrated with how our world seems to take it for granted.

When Mark and I ran our business, Homegrown Harvest, we started it to help to make it easier for people to grow some of their own food. We taught people about the quality of their soil and how commercial agriculture has decimated our farmlands with chemicals, over-fertilization, mono-cropping, and destroying the microbial organisms with heavy machinery.

I gave many talks at local libraries and clubs to help educate people about the degradation of our farmlands, encouraging people to grow some of their own food so that they will be able to increase the nutritional quality of what they eat by planting in healthy soil.

We also made it a point to teach people to be gentler with their soil and not use root-tillers that destroy the microbial organisms which are so important to good soil.

Awareness is just one step in the right direction; however, I feel that everyone can make an effort towards saving our soil each day, simply by composting their food waste. Landfills are one of the largest anthropogenic sources of the methane gas produced by this world. Food waste is about 22% of what ends up in landfills and it can not organically decompose which results in the output of methane gas. Composting food waste would keep food waste out of landfills and would nutritionally benefit the environment’s soil.

Another way that people can make a difference is by helping to plant more trees. Today is International Day of Forests, a day in which we should reflect on the importance of our global forests. Trees are a crucial ingredient in helping our lands maintain healthy soil. Their roots help maintain the soil structure, helping to reduce erosion. Check out the National Wildlife Federation’s article How Trees Make A Difference to learn more.

A Year of Mindfulness and Meditation

A little over a year ago my mother died and about a year ago I started a new habit of daily meditation. After my mother’s death, I felt untethered and my mind was overwhelmed with emotions, feeling, questions and thoughts. I needed to regain some control. There are so many things in life that we can’t control. When I get upset, I clean. It’s the one thing I can control when things seem to be spiraling out of control.

I write in a journal on a daily basis and have for well over a decade and have diaries that date back to 1980! Writing is a form of meditation for me – a download of thoughts and emotions. I found this to be incredibly helpful for me to proceed with my days having dumped out whatever was on my mind earlier that morning on paper. Unlike right now where I am typing this article directly into my computer; my diary is handwritten. I love the feeling of pen to paper. I find that therapeutic in of itself. However, I needed some tools in my tool belt to be able to help calm me down sometimes for when sitting down with pen and paper is not an option.

Many years ago when my life was spiraling out of control, I started having panic attacks. So I turned to meditation. I started a little each morning here and there. That was about 7 years ago now. I had been meditating on and off for many years but never every day as I have in the last 346 consecutive days (and counting). I have meditated 577 days using my Insight Timer app over the course of all those years.

I like the Insight Timer app since you can learn to meditate through the app which offers a wide range of guided meditations of varying lengths and focuses. I have listened to a number of talks and lectures about Buddhism, Taoism and more. I have used their app at bedtime at times when I need a guided meditation to help me drop off to sleep. They even have bedtime tales you can choose from – one night I fell asleep to The Velveteen Rabbit read to me. By the way, I don’t get anything from them to talk about them. I just really have enjoyed using their app.

I enjoy the way Insight Timer is set up allowing for searching by topics such as Affirmations, Chakras, Mantra, Mindfulness, Pranayama, Vipassana, Walking Mediations and Zen. Both Zazen and Kōan. If you want to use their timer feature to create your own customized meditation timer with the ability to use starting, interim and ending bells, chimes, gongs, or nothing at all. You can set background music or sounds or mediate in silence. You set the time and can save your presets. They make everything quite easy for you.

You can also save your favorites and can follow teachers that you like. They encourage you to donate to the teachers and make that easy for you to do charging it to your Apple Pay account. The teachers are from all over the world.

After so long by far one of our favorite teachers has become DavidJi from Los Angeles, CA. He offers a number of courses and we have taken three of the four of them that he offers on the Insight Timer. Mark and I dove into The 40 Days of Transformation where he guided us through meditations, intention setting, yoga philosophy, pranayama and so much more.

We were hooked after completing the forty days and followed it up with his course 30 Day Journey to Rebirth. We have also done his Awaken The Sacred Power of Shakti this year and plan on taking The Healing Sessions: Freeing Your Soul Through The Second Meditation of the Day.

Early on, we took the Masterclass –Mindfulness and Meditation with Jon Kabat-Zinn. This was an extremely helpful class to take which broke down a lot of questions that we had about mediation and ways to do it, what it was all about, etc… Soon after finishing that class I bought Mark and I both proper mediation cushions and pillows to ensure that, as David Ji says “Comfort is Queen and feather your nest” so that you can be still during your mediation practice. It’s amazing the difference the right set up can make which will allow me to sit still and “drop in” to meditation for 30 minutes or more. Sometimes without moving at all. Other times, I may have to stretch a leg to regain circulation.

I have found that this new habit is addictive and I will do what I need to protect my precious time to sit on the cushion, although sometimes I will be laying down, using on my acupressure mat or on some ice packs for the time. It has opened a door up to so many other doors. Mark and I find ourselves exploring Buddhism, Taoism, Collective Consciousness just to begin with.

I have learned a few things about myself and what I am capable of. I have found that I have a calmness within that I am able to tap into when things around me start to get crazy. Mark and I have started to introduce Tai Chi into our lives. Although it is not a daily practice yet but that is our goal to incorporate it into our daily practice. I look forward to this continued journey of discovery.

Namaste.

Meditation

For the last five years or so, we have been trying to get in the habit of mediating. We’d be on a roll for a while and then something would interrupt our flow and we wouldn’t mediate, then we’d try again but never been able to make it stick.

This year has been different, in more ways than one. We’ve been meditating on a fairly regular basis this year. The quarantine kicked it into high gear, and we are on a regular roll. I found mediating particularly helpful in early March when the shit was hitting the fan for our family in more ways than the lockdown and COVID19. Our family was dealing with some personal stuff which highlighted to me how life continued despite the quarantine. I found that there were more moments where I started to feel panicky, the anxiety levels were entering uncharted territory. Mark and I weren’t able to be together for three weeks (one week away, two weeks in quarantine) – away from me and the kids. He’d been out in the Petri dish, we had to be cautious.

It was during this time that I clung to my meditation sessions although I had altered when I did them. Mark and I always start our day out with mediation but during that time we were separated I needed to mediate at night when I was alone in our bed. I never have trouble sleeping – it drives Mark insane since I can fall asleep in the midsentence while talking to him in bed at night. He needs to read and unwind. My head hits the pillow and I’m out cold. By 8pm. I wake anytime between 4am and 5am usually though.

But in mid-March when everything was so uncertain, I needed help falling asleep as my mind would race with all sorts of thoughts. I turned to my mediation app which I knew had nighttime, help you fall asleep mediations. I need guidance to help settle my mind.

The app we use, Insight Timer has all sorts of meditations that you can easily filter the length of time, whether you want background music or not, whether you prefer a male or a female voice, the benefits you seek, etc…They also offer courses and after over a year of using the app, we have decided to give a try. Later this morning we will do Day 8 of our 10-day course, each day has been building upon the next; teaching us how to body scan and different visualization techniques. It also keeps track of how much we’ve mediated and rewards us with milestones that help encourage you on your progress. Since using the app, I’ve meditated for a total of 2.5k minutes and reached 7 milestones. One of which is 128 days with at least one session and another being that I have meditated 23 consecutive days. I believe that is a record for me. As I said doing it everyday in the beginning was the challenge as we worked towards working it into our routine.

Since Mark has been out of quarantine, we have gone back to our usual morning sessions. My daughter would join us in the mornings when she was here – sometimes coming downstairs to sit with us in the family room while we meditated, other times simply joining in from her bedroom upstairs as she would sometimes wake up to our sessions. I’d love to get my son more involved as I know it would be a good habit for him to get into. He was usually sound asleep when we meditated. We have found our sweet spot to be around 7am before 8am when the phone starts to ring and we start off our work day. We work from home, so we have control over the schedule but have found it best to get things started earlier than latter here in the homestead.

Life is always about having to deal with unknowns, they just aren’t usually on the intensity level that they have been recently. Life will always throw you curve balls and you just try to deal with them a pitch at a time. The mediation sessions have helped me deal with each pitch, by helping me to take a step back, take a deep breath and calm my mind and my body which has allowed me to take on the challenges of life a little more effectively.