- Estelle Collingwood: Mari tells me you're from Manhattan. What does your father do?
- Phyllis Stone: Oh, my parents are in the iron and steal business.
- Estelle Collingwood: Iron and steel both together? How unusual.
- Phyllis Stone: Well, my mother irons and my father steals.
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: How'd we get into the sex-crime business anyway? My brother Saul, a plumber, makes twice as much money as I do and gets three weeks vacation, too.
- Mari: Junior, do you have a girlfriend?
- Junior Stillo: Oh, yeah. I got lots of girlfriends just waiting to get me!
- Mari: I don't think you do.
- Junior Stillo: Well, you're right.
- Krug Stillo: Listen to daddy. I want you to take the gun, and I want you to put it in your mouth, and I want you to turn around and blow your brains out. Blow your brains out. BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!
- Mari: The leaves are really beautiful.
- Phyllis Stone: Yup, they're really starting to change. I guess winter's comin' on!
- Mari: Yup, Hey, I changed this winter!
- Phyllis Stone: What do you mean, you changed?
- Mari: I mean, my breasts filled out!
- [Phyllis laughs]
- Mari: I mean, they were nothing last summer!
- Phyllis Stone: I didn't know you last summer!
- Mari: Well, they have!
- Phyllis Stone: Well, congratulations!
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: I wonder what the meanest, foulest, rottenest, woodsiest sex crime ever was? Hey, Krug, what do you think the sex crime of the century was?
- Krug Stillo: You must think we're stupid, right? No, we're not stupid. We might be horny old pigs, but we ain't stupid.
- Estelle Collingwood: I think it's crazy.
- Mari: What's crazy?
- Estelle Collingwood: All that blood and violence. I thought you were supposed to be the love generation.
- Estelle Collingwood: Are you folks on vacation?
- Krug Stillo: No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.
- Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Plumbing.
- Krug Stillo: Insurance.
- Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
- Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
- Krug Stillo: Goddamn high-class, tight-ass freakos. All that goddamn silverware. Who do they think they are, anyway? People in China eat with sticks, and these freaks got 16 utensils for every pea on the plate.
- [Krug is trying to get his girlfriend to have sex with him]
- Krug Stillo: Why don't you lay back and enjoy being inferior?
- Krug Stillo: We don't wanna off someone first night out. I mean, it'd be a shame to get this floor all messed up with blood.
- Krug Stillo: Piss your pants!
- Phyllis Stone: What?
- Krug Stillo: I said, "Piss your pants!"
- Phyllis Stone: You sick mother!
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: [to Estelle] I could make love to a looker like you with my hands tied behind my back.
- Junior Stillo: If I was a frog, I'd have my own lily pad. I could sit there all day long, just 'Ribbit Ribbit'. I could do that man and nobody would bother me.
- Dr. John Collingwood: [looking at Mari's shirt] Hey, no bra?
- Mari: Of course not! Nobody wears those anymore!
- Estelle Collingwood: Nobody except us drill sergeants.
- Dr. John Collingwood: Yeah, but look, Estelle. You can see her nipples as plain as day!
- Mari: Daddy, don't be so clinical!
- Dr. John Collingwood: But it's immodest!
- Mari: Then I'll get some sandpaper!
- Estelle Collingwood: [annoyed] Look, young lady, when I was your age...
- Mari: When you were my age, you all wore brassieres that made your tits stick out like torpedoes or something.
- Dr. John Collingwood: Tits! What's this "tits" business? Sounds like I'm back in the barracks.
- Mari: Alright, then - mammary glands! They used to tie them up like little lunatics in straightjackets, and they stuffed socks in their bras.
- Estelle Collingwood: Mari!
- Mari: You told me that yourself, Mother.
- Estelle Collingwood: If God had meant women to go around with their bust exposed, Mari Collingwood, He wouldn't have given us clothes!
- Newscaster: The daring daylight escape of the two convicted murderers, dope-pushers, and rapists cost the lives of two prison guards, and surprisingly, the life of a German Shepard. According to eye-witness reports, the animal, which was set after the two fleeing men, was kicked to death by a young animal-like woman who leaped from the get-away car. The alleged driver of the car was Junior Stillo. Junior Stillo is the illegitimate son of the leader of the two escapees, Krug Stillo, who was serving a life sentence for the 1966 triple-slaying of a priest and two nuns. Krug Stillo is reputed to have hooked his own son on heroin to control the youngster's life. The man is armed, and considered extremely dangerous. The second escaped convict is identified as Fred Weasel Podowski, who has a long police record for child molesting, peeping tom-ism, and assault with a deadly weapon. The three men were accompanied in their getaway by an unknown woman, who's described only as young, strong, and animal-like. Police believe the four may still be in the New York City area, but expect them to try to leave the state in the next 48 hours.
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Look at this.
- Krug Stillo: What?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: [showing pictures of Mari] Guess who lives here?
- Krug Stillo: Huh, I wonder what the odds are on that?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Couldn't even tell you.
- Krug Stillo: Mari, she was a lot tougher than you, doc. She took a while to kill. She was really tough. We had a hard time with her, but you're just a pussy!
- Estelle Collingwood: If God had meant women to go around with their busts exposed, Mari Collingwood, he wouldn't have given us clothes!
- Dr. John Collingwood: You call the repair service?
- Estelle Collingwood: Mmhmmm.
- Dr. John Collingwood: Well did you tell them I was a physician and had to have a phone?
- Estelle Collingwood: No, actually I told them you were an international bookie, and I was ten-months pregnant with quintuplets!
- [first lines]
- Postman: [to dog] Hello, Cassie! Hiya, girl! Hello, there! Now, let's see.
- [looks through mail]
- Postman: Ah, it looks like Mari's getting cards from half the civilized world. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. You'd think she's the only kid to reach the age of 17. Of course she is probably the prettiest piece I've ever seen.
- Krug Stillo: Are you sure we're not going to put you folks to any trouble?
- Dr. John Collingwood: Oh, nonsense! Our home is yours.
- Sadie: I ain't putting out anymore 'til I get a couple more chicks around here.
- Krug Stillo: Couple more chicks?
- Sadie: Yeah, equal representation.
- Krug Stillo: You want some grass? What do you want with some grass, huh?
- Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Hey, you guys ain't cows is ya? Little cows, looking for some grass, huh? Let me hear you moo. C'mon, c'mon. Moo.
- Sadie: Yeah, and they got them cute little udders on them.
- Phyllis Stone: hey listin im really cold would it be all right if i just put on my clothes just till krug comes back? cause im really cold
- Krug Stillo: weasel take out youre knife, bow im going to tell this young lady to do something. and if she doesn't do exactly what i say want you to cut her freind.