addie! semi ia 's Reviews > Collide
Collide (Off the Ice, #1)
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addie! semi ia 's review
bookshelves: contemporary-romance, romance, sports, hateful-reviews, sports-romance
Apr 29, 2024
bookshelves: contemporary-romance, romance, sports, hateful-reviews, sports-romance
⁀➷ ★.5
🩰
This was icebreaker 2.0….
So basically my worst nightmare!
*ೃ༄ God how do I say this nicely. This book was…. boring. Like really really fucking dull. Dry as fucking dust. Like I would much rather watch slow drying paint dry, type boring. The plot is basically the same as every other cookie cutter hockey romance, but with even more monotonous, toneless, flat characters it would put post season 3 Riverdale to shame. But hey, as wacky as is, at least shit happened in Riverdale.
And don’t even get me started on the writing 😧- OH MY GOD! There’s something about it that was soo jarring it was driving me insaneee, like I was THIS CLOSE to shoving a needle in my eye!
*ೃ༄ Ms Summer Preston was a big pessimistic, overly ambitious, hateful, spiteful bitch. (Relatable bc those are my only personality traits too🤧) Now these qualities makes me love, adore and root for female characters and I would’ve liked her somewhat if she wasn’t so fucking immature! This girl was breaking up friendships bc what? They played fucking hockey? Grow up omg! And the whole reason is bc her dad was a hockey player and she doesn’t like him? Girl whatever 🙄, I like petty but this is stupidity.
The author could’ve made her angry, and angsty and complex by showing how her daddy issues affected her and how it impacted others around her but no. She just had to be boring, annoying, and lowkey hypocritical.
*ೃ༄ Aiden Crawford? He has the same energy as unseasoned, white chicken. Mashed potatoes with no pepper. Smooth unsalted butter. Boiled carrots. PLAIN, FLAVOURLESS AND BORING! LIKE Go girl! Give us nothing! Now I def think that we need more nice, mature golden retriever characters in literature- but not like this. Also the author at the start tried so hard to make him into some sort of ‘player’ at the start, didn’t work. (Also he lowkey looks like a mix of Dream and young gravy in my head which I don’t think helps my opinion)
*ೃ༄ Did not give a fuck about the background characters. In fact if you held me at 🔪 point and asked me to name them, tell my family goodbye.
*ೃ༄ Now you might all be thinking, “Gosh Addie, you’re such a bitch this wasn’t that bad, why are you so extreme?” You’re right I’m sorry, because I actually don’t have that strong of a dislike for this drab book like I have for otherslike icebreaker. Apart from the weird writing style and a bit of a pacing issue, this book has no other valid criticisms except that I just didn’t like it. I think it was so dull and forgettable and wasted my time (yes ik it’s my own fault for the last one 🙄). In fact I can literally just feel everything I read in the last 3 hrs just wipe away and soon it’ll no longer be attached to my last 5 braincells.
*ೃ༄ Do I think they’ll end up together? Noo sorry. I give them a year at most before they get into a major argument, probably initiated by Summer and held in a car park, and Aiden screams that they should break up and Summer screams FINE and storms off to her car leaving him stranded. They never really speak again after that. Aiden’s next girlfriend is either a blonde girl with curly hair that’s in law school, wears those flower claw clips and likes to travel or a dark skin woc with long straight brown hair, who’s a rich city girl with daddy’s money, is in STEM and a pink Pilates princess. Idk who Summer ends up with but she def ends up in a suburban 4 bedroom house and when her kids point at Aiden in old photos asking who’s that she’ll reply “oh that’s just my college bf, he was a cutie.”
✦ Google synonyms for ‘uninteresting’ and ‘forgettable’.
🩰
This was icebreaker 2.0….
So basically my worst nightmare!
*ೃ༄ God how do I say this nicely. This book was…. boring. Like really really fucking dull. Dry as fucking dust. Like I would much rather watch slow drying paint dry, type boring. The plot is basically the same as every other cookie cutter hockey romance, but with even more monotonous, toneless, flat characters it would put post season 3 Riverdale to shame. But hey, as wacky as is, at least shit happened in Riverdale.
And don’t even get me started on the writing 😧- OH MY GOD! There’s something about it that was soo jarring it was driving me insaneee, like I was THIS CLOSE to shoving a needle in my eye!
*ೃ༄ Ms Summer Preston was a big pessimistic, overly ambitious, hateful, spiteful bitch. (Relatable bc those are my only personality traits too🤧) Now these qualities makes me love, adore and root for female characters and I would’ve liked her somewhat if she wasn’t so fucking immature! This girl was breaking up friendships bc what? They played fucking hockey? Grow up omg! And the whole reason is bc her dad was a hockey player and she doesn’t like him? Girl whatever 🙄, I like petty but this is stupidity.
The author could’ve made her angry, and angsty and complex by showing how her daddy issues affected her and how it impacted others around her but no. She just had to be boring, annoying, and lowkey hypocritical.
*ೃ༄ Aiden Crawford? He has the same energy as unseasoned, white chicken. Mashed potatoes with no pepper. Smooth unsalted butter. Boiled carrots. PLAIN, FLAVOURLESS AND BORING! LIKE Go girl! Give us nothing! Now I def think that we need more nice, mature golden retriever characters in literature- but not like this. Also the author at the start tried so hard to make him into some sort of ‘player’ at the start, didn’t work. (Also he lowkey looks like a mix of Dream and young gravy in my head which I don’t think helps my opinion)
*ೃ༄ Did not give a fuck about the background characters. In fact if you held me at 🔪 point and asked me to name them, tell my family goodbye.
*ೃ༄ Now you might all be thinking, “Gosh Addie, you’re such a bitch this wasn’t that bad, why are you so extreme?” You’re right I’m sorry, because I actually don’t have that strong of a dislike for this drab book like I have for others
*ೃ༄ Do I think they’ll end up together? Noo sorry. I give them a year at most before they get into a major argument, probably initiated by Summer and held in a car park, and Aiden screams that they should break up and Summer screams FINE and storms off to her car leaving him stranded. They never really speak again after that. Aiden’s next girlfriend is either a blonde girl with curly hair that’s in law school, wears those flower claw clips and likes to travel or a dark skin woc with long straight brown hair, who’s a rich city girl with daddy’s money, is in STEM and a pink Pilates princess. Idk who Summer ends up with but she def ends up in a suburban 4 bedroom house and when her kids point at Aiden in old photos asking who’s that she’ll reply “oh that’s just my college bf, he was a cutie.”
✦ Google synonyms for ‘uninteresting’ and ‘forgettable’.
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Reading Progress
December 16, 2023
– Shelved as:
to-read
December 16, 2023
– Shelved
Started Reading
April 29, 2024
– Shelved as:
sports
April 29, 2024
– Shelved as:
romance
April 29, 2024
– Shelved as:
contemporary-romance
April 29, 2024
–
Finished Reading
May 5, 2024
– Shelved as:
hateful-reviews
May 12, 2024
– Shelved as:
sports-romance
Comments Showing 51-87 of 87 (87 new)
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message 51:
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addie! semi ia
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rated it 1 star
May 13, 2024 05:57AM
@yulz just found out its actually probably the other way round bc this book came out like 3 months before
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I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS REVIEW. every single point you made was so real and you're a way better person than me bc i dnfed this book 😭😭
@soph riverdale was actually good before season 3 and the writers started smoking cr@ck tryna come up with storylines
this review was both fun and painful for me to read (painful as i kinda sorta maybe enjoyed the book and now feel slightly embarrassed for not understanding what i enjoyed exactly) and fun cause the references are KILLING ME LOL
@maleeha no need to be embarrassed, you enjoyed what you enjoyed dont let some rando’s opinion change that
This is so funny, you’re so real for it. Authors need to focus on something else than smut when writing, otherwise we end up with books like this and icebreaker 🤨🤨
@moon “hmm yea now make her ride him every 2 pages and show no romantic attraction, that will totally add character depth”
@moon im sure some of #those dark romance authors are like “my husband doesn’t love me and im miserable and missing my youth, oh well might as well write a ‘romance’ novel of a pretty barely legal girl being abused by a man and still ending up with him to make me feel better about my toxic marriage”
addie! semi ia wrote: "@moon im sure some of #those dark romance authors are like “my husband doesn’t love me and im miserable and missing my youth, oh well might as well write a ‘romance’ novel of a pretty barely legal ..."
IM SAYING
IM SAYING