Ashley's Reviews > The Witch and the Vampire

Thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for the audio ARC. It hasn't affected the content of my review.

This book doesn't deserve this cover. This author doesn't deserve this premise. Rapunzel retelling? Where Rapunzel? Where? She was in a tower for a hot minute, whoop-de-doo. She has long hair . . . that plays no part in the plot. This is a story inspired by Rapunzel, at best, but it's really not anywhere at all the same story. SECONDLY. The lesbians were done misjustice to. What an absolute lack of chemistry. What an amazing amount of terribly flowery prose trying to convince us these two personality-free people were in love with each other.

It's truly amazing how a book can be underwritten and overwritten at the same time, but this book manages it.

I'm sorry, all that just came out, because I'm frustrated. The first person present tense narrative voice was an absolute disaster, doing what it nearly always does with inexperienced (and not very talented) authors, in that it washes out character and makes the writer have to live in the moment in a way the story doesn't necessarily need. Writers, please consider third person POV, it is a wonderful POV. Please also consider past tense so your characters don't sound like brainless amoebas who are only concerned with is going on RIGHT NOW. I do not need descriptions of everything that is happening around you and everything you are doing constantly, please just tell me a story.

And to top it all off, the plot took this premise to just about the least interesting places it could have gone. Very serious subject matter was quickly moved past, and stuff that should have been barely mentioned was endlessly dwelled on. A major plot in this novel is that one character is thirsty in a lush forest. I can't even just thinking about it.

I do not recommend that you read this book. Probably its target audience and younger would like it, but it is not a young adult book that adults can enjoy. It is basic, starter YA. I wish I hadn't requested an ARC, or that I'd looked at the early reviews and the terrible average rating before requesting. Could have saved myself some mental hassle.

Please don't stop sending me ARCs, I do really like them.