Megan's Reviews > The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband

I picked this up from the Library's readers choice section. It seems that the past several readers choice lists have had one book that addressed autism/aspergers: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, Rules, The Kitchen Daughter (to name a few).

Every time I've picked one up and wondered if the subject has been overdone, but every time I've been pleasantly surprised to find the book had a new, fresh take on a disorder that has many different levels and forms.

Until now.

David Finch is in a failing marriage. When he is diagnosed with Asperger's, he and his wife decide many of their problems were due to his disorder and they try to rebuild their marriage. As they try to reconnect, David keeps a journal of Best Practices: Use Your Words. Just listen. Laundry: Better to fold and put away than to take only what you need from the dryer. Give Kristen time to shower without crowding her.

There are some funny moments reminiscent of Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory (he flashes back to his college roommate going ballistic on him and screaming about the many things he had endured that semester, including being locked out time after time. David is thinking, "But I thought I made it clear that I lock the door at eleven thirty sharp, no matter what" pg 105) However, these are the reasons the book didn't work for me:

1-He is positively exultant that he has Asperger's. Every single thing that has ever happened in his entire life is rehashed as proof that he has Asperger's. Just one example:"Performing music and assuming the personalities of characters came naturally to me. I assumed at the time that it meant I was sort of artistic, rather than sort of autistic, but as it turns out, I'm both." (pg 22)

2-Because he has Asperger's, every single bad thing he has ever done, every single bad character trait is not his fault, it's the disorder. "Whenever I find myself sitting in bird poo or demanding close relationships from complete strangers, I can chalk it up to God-given faulty cognitive processes. To me, this is great news. I don't have to be embarrassed anymore about my social cluelessness. I can't be expected to predict the intentions of others and assume their perspectives any more than I can be expected to rebuild a carburetor or sit down in a piano to knock out a Rachmaninoff concerto; I wasn't born with that particular talent.

3-I expected this book to be one of self-reflection and growth. And there is some of that. But primarily, it seems that his diagnosis gave him a pass with his wife for his bad behavior. "Prior to my diagnosis, Kristen often told me in frustration, "You just don't GET IT, Dave." Now that we know I have Asperger's, Kristen still finds herself saying those exact words all the time. The difference is that she now says them calmly, as a matter of fact. "You just don't get it, Dave. Your brain doesn't work that way." pg 80.

I wonder how this book would have been written from Kristen's point of view.

4- The language is unbelievably foul. There are a lot of reasons for including foul language in a book, and this one I would characterize as, "I don't care enough about the English language to find a word that conveys what I want to say. I am incapable of using a thesaurus or even thinking for 2 minutes of another word to use."

Rated R for foul language.