ellie's Reviews > Terms and Conditions

instead of being called Terms and Conditions, this should be called Copy and Paste.

bcos this felt like The Fine Print in a slightly better font. slightly. and the main reason i finished this was for all of the Cal and Alana crumbs, bye💀

i felt that this (and The Fine Print) were both extremely repetitive. to the point that neither book had me hooked in the slightest. i kept putting this aside to do other things and wasn’t desperately inclined to keep reading. it got to the point i skimmed so much bcos i was incredibly bored and felt like i was reading scenes i had already read in both TFP and in this book.

it had the same repetitiveness resulting in me thinking “i swear i have read this encounter already within the book?” “that’s definitely already been said?” “surely not this AGAIN?” there was just so much back and forth of Declan being a shitty robotic husband and said something rude to Iris, Iris sulks for 0.57483 seconds while rambling in her inner monologue how she’s “gonna show him” and make him suffer... only for him to look at her like 🤨 while saying something mildly sarcastic that she thinks is the funniest shit in history, then she forgives him and they repeat the process all over again :)

literally all he had to do was mention his dead mother and Iris was rolling at his feet like a good lil lap dog.

but i think the repetitiveness of the book stems from the complete lack of plot. what was the end goal? the driving force? it felt too aimless with Declan and Iris just having basic interactions with zero stakes. there was nothing to cause any real conflict or tension. Lauren Asher relied on the romance to do so and it worked initially but quickly lost its momentum.

”Another one?” he grumbles before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
[...]
I hit the mute button, silencing the TV. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“You’ve watched eight episodes in a row of them doing the same exact thing.”
“And I could watch another eight more without ever getting bored.”

Declan legit could have been talking about this book bcos yes, he and Iris did the same exact thing constantly again and again, just like that damn tv show. but unlike Iris, i couldn’t read any more without getting bored. well, bored is an understatement.

i did, however, i like the romance in the beginning. but i had issues with it. the basic tropes were low-key my fave. the grumpy-sunshine dynamic of them. the fake marriage tropes. the classic tension-filled unbuttoning of the dress bcos the heroine can’t reach the back. shit like that. can’t pretend i didn’t enjoy a lot of these interactions. were they cliche? absolutely. but were they fun?! absolutely.

now my main issue was both characters are infatuated with one another from chapter one. the book really is insta-lust/attraction masquerading as a slowburn. they were way too comfortable for a fake couple from the get go— at their rehearsal dinner, for example, they both have no qualms or fumbling awkwardness to being touchy feely and intimate. there’s no buildup? they already have this easy-going relationship. you’d think there’d be some fumbling, some stiffness, uncertainty and awkwardness with their first public appearance as a “couple” but there wasn’t. so it was just boring.

I take a step out into the light before I’m stopped by Iris pressing her palm against my cheek.

She removes her hand, but I latch onto it and press it against my chest.

My thumb brushes the inside of her wrist.

She wraps both of her arms around my waist, drawing me toward her. Our bodies fit together like two interlocking puzzle pieces.

this is all from their rehearsal dinner and i found it all waaaay too easy. they’re so casually touchy feely and i found it jarring. there’s no build up to this. i can’t help compare it to Rose and Jack from Marriage For One where they were so damn awkward when they made their first public appearance as a couple in a fake marriage. and yes, Jack and Rose were strangers while Iris and Declan have history... but he’s her icy-cold, stoic older boss and they’re not that close. sure they banter back and forth but this? idk, i wasn’t convinced. it was unsatisfying bcos the tension, the awkwardness and the buildup is the best damn part!!

it was just completely uninspiring. both the characters and the romance.

bcos Declan felt like Rowan, and i truly don’t know who i disliked more? and Iris laughed as much as Zahra did and man did it erk the fuck out of me😭 then the fact Iris’s sole personality trait was being Declan’s assistant didn’t really help her case either. she was so flat and generic.

she legit had no life. no friends. no hobbies. no passion. all bcos she worked for Declan and that ate up all of her time... and she didn’t see an issue with that?? and the whole thing with her job interview??? i– no words.

She looks down at her plate. “Turns out people stop inviting you places when all you do is say no.”
“Why did you say no?”
“We lived two very different lifestyles. Most of my friends had nine-to-five jobs and worked only five days a week. At first, I tried to keep up with them, but eventually I was burning myself out. I had to choose between my job and my life, and we know how that went.” She motions toward me.

it’s also hard to root for Declan, and Rowan in the first book, when their whole capitalist vibe is constantly present within the book. it’s not easy to root for two guys who are aware of the shitty wages, working conditions, etc of their employees yet don’t really give a fuck bcos it doesn’t benefit them or the company. like Iris says this so casually:

Welcome to the Kane Company where employee wages are as dismal as company morale.

it’s so bleak and disturbing, honestly. especially as a person who lives in a working class town, raised and surrounded by working class people, it’s hard to look past the Kane’s mindsets. idk why the author includes it tbh? i have read too many CEO-type romances in my life but never any like the ones Lauren Asher writes where im fully aware and uncomfortable with the amount of wealth the H has. i think bcos it’s so emphasised not only how rich they are but how shitty their workers are treated that makes it so nauseating and stark.

like this quote. idk if it was supposed to be charming and swoony? but i just found it gross:

By the time the auctioneer steps away from the podium, I’ve spent over fifty-million dollars solely for the rush I get whenever Iris smiles.

maybe pay your workers above minimum wage before throwing your money around willy nilly.

usually in other CEO romances, we see the douchey rich guy but not much else beyond his sphere of wealth. and he usually gives to charity and holds charitable events etc that makes him a little more human. but seeing how the Kane’s wealth impacts the lives of the people they exploit... not the type of hero i like ngl. Rowan in book one only changed his tune to appease Zahra since she was one of the “poor people” he was “saving”. if he hadn’t met her, he probably would be the same capitalist douchebag we first met. now he’s just slightly less of a capitalist douchebag.

Declan does do some sort of sponsoring thing with kids. so yeah that’s cute and all, but you can do that AND give your workers a decent living wage so they can afford to, you know, live :) idk maybe im just in a silly goofy mood tho. and not Iris basically flinging her panties at him for doing the bare minimum of human decency when she finds out he sponsors kids despite JUST saying how bad the wages and morale of the workers are in his own damn company😍

she spent most of the book doing that tbh. just letting him get away with the bare minimum and never holding him accountable.

then the little scene at the hospital where he demands Iris have a private room bcos “money is no object” and that the nurse needs to understand this is the “real world”🙄 he was annoyed there was so much noise of people moving throughout the hospital... sir, that is how all hospitals function. i was legit there on Wednesday for one of my annual appointments and it was the exact same— they’re loud, they’re active, their bustling. waving your money and arrogance around as though it makes you better than everyone else? stfu please.

he says Fuck this place and the people in here. “We’re leaving.” bcos Iris has to share a room for like 2.68444 seconds while she gets her injured hand checked out. he truly acted like the hospital was a cesspit and that everyone was grossly below him... which i suppose, in his mind, they are. but damn, trying to root for him when he acts like that is almost impossible. questioning the doctor’s capabilities. being rude to nurses. making snuffy comments about how the hospital is ran. Declan, sir, your privilege is stinking up the waiting room so why don’t you just fuck off, yeah??

some people might say im being nit picky and this is just a romance so im thinking too hard about things... when the author includes that sort of thing, it’s hard for me not to notice it. i can’t look past shit like that bcos it distracts me from the romance. if i don’t like the characters as people, then rooting for their romance is impossible for me to do.

and the way Declan treats Iris during the inevitable conflict was just the final nail in the coffin for me. i was just skimming by that point and didn’t even know why he was being so mean... but i didn’t like him enough to care lol.

so in the end i was kinda fed up with this book. the only thing that truly kept me going was my baby Cal. stole the show hands down. any time he was on page, Declan and Iris who??? i can’t wait for his romance... Cal and Alana second chance romance WHEN?!?