P. Kirby's Reviews > A Court of Thorns and Roses

Three stars because A Court of Thorn and Roses is bad to the point of banal, and driven by so much cliche that it's moderately entertaining.

I read this in the midst of personal tragedy and grief. And curiously, discovered that a bad book is a peculiar but effective distraction in such times.

The first chapter or so is an awful attempt to paint the protagonist, Feyre (pronounced Fa-rah, but I read it as Fair), as a Katniss Everdeen copy. A fuzzy copy from a machine that needs new toner. Feyre is the youngest of three sisters. Her family was once wealthy, but Dad is an idiot, and somehow, the family now lives in a shack and subsists on whatever game Feyre manages to shoot in the nearby dark and fey-infested woods. Mom, is dead, because of course she is. But before Mom kicked off, she made very young Feyre (like toddler age--I'm not sure how she ever remembers this) promise to take care of her older sisters.

Older sibs and Dad are all hateful ingrates, with the sisters taking on an evil stepsister vibe. Anyway, one day Feyre is out hunting and she murders a huge wolf because she's an asshole. (I love wolves,) The wolf turns out to be a fey in disguise, and soon after, the wolf/fey's employer, Tamlin arrives at Feyre's hovel and demands compensation. Compensation turns out to be Feyre, who must live with him in the very handsome, good looking, lap of luxury in his mansion in the perpetual spring of fairy world. And...he arranges for her broke-ass family to be rich again.

Nevertheless, Feyre spends an inordinate amount of time desperate to return to her abusive family. Even though according to some treaty, returning to her family will get them and her killed. She finally wises up, at which point, the big bad, a fairy queen with cartoon villain motivations shows up. Pretty soon it's up to Feyre to save the world, if only she can either solve a riddle, or, alternately, survive three trials.

I suck at riddles and word puzzles, but solved the riddle in seconds. Feyre, not the sharpest tool in the shed, only does so after, somehow, surviving the trials.

Oh, and there's hot fairy secks, which is surprisingly hot.

Abusive relationships? Check. Older than dirt man with the face of gorgeous boy falls inexplicably in love with teen girl? Check. Lazy-ass worldbuilding? Check. Basically, the kind of stuff my sixteen-year-old self would have loved. But seen through older, wiser eyes, it's a load of grade-A, "Wisconsin called, they want their cheese back," fromage-fest.