Bethany (Beautifully Bookish Bethany)'s Reviews > The Duke and I

So...writing this review is tricky because there is a very controversial scene in this book that a lot of people (pretty understandably) hate and it has soured them on the story. I knew going in that such a scene existed, even if I didn't know all of the details, and that may have colored my experience.

That said....I loved The Duke and I! And cannot wait to read on in the series. I fell in love with the characters, the world, and the tone almost immediately. From Lady Whistledown to the entire, boistrous Bridgerton family and their hilarious yet strong matriarch, to the banter and comedic situations involving Simon and Daphne, I'm here for all of it. I do want to address the controversy because it is sensitive, but also I don't know the last time I felt this connected to and invested in a romance series right off the bat. I can already tell it's something I will want to reread in the future.

That said, let's talk about the elephant in the room: the scene in question takes place after Simon and Daphne are married. It's a complicated situation, and from this point on, you should expect spoilers....

SPOILER WARNING!

Things to know: Simon started speaking late and had a stutter. His complete asshole of a father called him stupid and wanted nothing to do with him. Now his dad is dead, but he has vowed never to have children and doesn't plan to marry. Which gets complicated when he gets frisky with Daphne and must marry her to preserve her reputation....

Daphne (like most young women of her day) has never taken sex ed and therefore knows virtually nothing about sex or how conception works. This leads to some hilarious scenes and conversations, but it's also tragically historically accurate. So when she marries Simon, she doesn't realize that when he says he "can't" have children, what he really means is he "won't" have children. Nor does she realize what he's doing when he pulls out every time they have sex. Simon takes advantage of her naivete, even knowing her intense desire for children, and basically lies to her for months. Honestly, I found his behavior to be pretty reprehensible and selfish, even if we understand that it's rooted in trauma.

So when Daphne learns more about how things work and realizes she has been lied to, it sets off an understandably giant conflict where she (rightly in my opinion) tells Simon she will no longer be in his bed. He gets very drunk and comes home asking her to stay with him and be with him. This sets the stage for more horrible behavior where Daphne has sex with him and basically refuses to let him pull out. Whew. Okay, so there are people saying this is basically marital rape. And reading the scene...kinda? It certainly has elements of dubious consent at the very least.

The thing is, it's not painted as okay, or as sexy in the book. It's very clearly portrayed as wrong, but I also think from the perspective of a sheltered, relatively powerless young woman at the time, I kind of get it. Selfish? Of course. Both of them are selfish and do terrible things, but for me that was part of the point and part of how they learned and grew together. And the behavior doesn't occur in a vacuum either- I think the author does a fantastic job of creating a nuanced portrait of what each of them has experienced and how that shapes their choices.

I am glad that a child didn't end up as the product of that night. I would have had a harder time dealing with that, but it's a non-issue. I also want to say, because I knew there was some kind of potentially problematic scene going in, it was obvious to me from pretty early on what was going to take place. I hear some people say they were blindsided, but for me it was like watching a train barreling down the tracks. And it's a real issue too, not that dissimilar from real life women who "forget" to take their birth control in hopes of having a baby their partner doesn't want. Because while people are calling this rape, it's not actually the sex that was unwanted. It was the potential pregnancy. Which still isn't okay, but I appreciate that the author was engaging with that issue.

I've been mulling over my thoughts on this for awhile before I wrote this review because I do know it's a controversial one. To readers who hated this and want nothing more to do with these characters, that's valid, especially if this is a personally triggering issue. I imagine if it was written today rather than 20+ years ago, the author might handle it a little more carefully (admittedly we maybe could have used a bigger conversation about what happened between the characters later on), but I found it to be compelling and thought-provoking, and most of the book was just a whole lot of fun and made me laugh out loud on multiple occasions! I'm also super curious to see how they handle things in the Netflix adaptation. But guys, I loved this book. So very much.