Anu's Reviews > The Bookish Life of Nina Hill

TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety, mental health.

Mild spoilers ahead.

So close, this book came so, so close to being one of those absolutely perfect books. About the first 90% of this book was actually pretty perfect. But then, the last few pages were absolute garbage. Not in terms of writing, just in terms of handling anxiety as an actual mental health issue.

I have acute anxiety. And I occasionally get panic attacks. Nina Hill also has both these problems. She's also kind of socially awkward, except in some situations, and she can be a homebody sometimes. Both these things are again, something I can relate to. Somewhat. I'm not socially awkward as much as I have a daily quota of how much I can be around people. And once I hit that wall, it's home time, baby. For a very large portion of the book, these aspects are actually handled very well. Her panic and introversion aren't "quirks", they're parts of her life that dictate her life and behaviour.

On the other hand, this doesn't stop her from having a "normal" life. She has a job she likes, a house she loves, friends who're pretty great. She also enjoys sex and is good at it, which, if one were to believe chick lit starring awkward and anxious women, is something such women don't indulge in. She's smart, good at trivia. Again, both big points in her favour. Oh, and she has a therapist, and the book isn't disdainful of it. It's treated as a real, normal part of her life, as it should be. She conscientiously plans her days, and always has a fun fact or two for you. If you know me at all, you know I am a sucker for fun facts.

I absolutely loved all of this. The complete normalcy of her life was not only appealing, but interesting, actually. Considering the woman in the last book I read was a literal clown, especially so. Nina is a normal woman with a normal life, and making that an interesting read, truly takes an exceptional writer. Which, Abbi Waxman is. For the most part.

When she finds out that she has a huge, ragtag family in addition to her mother who birthed her, and her nanny who raised her, she reacts like anyone would to such news. With shock, and some scepticism. After all, to this point, she is an introvert with two family members and three friends. Actually. Literally. Again, here, Waxman does an excellent job of balancing family drama with other, more "normal" aspects of family life - getting to know the members, connecting with some of them, and so on. So far, so good.

In comes Tom, rival trivia group leader, attractive, but humanly so. (view spoiler)[Is it absolutely cheesy that he makes bookshelves for a living? Fuck yeah, but I was more than happy to let this slide. (hide spoiler)] He's cute and charming, and their romance isn't forced. It's endearing, much like the characters themselves.

But then, and this is a HUGE but then, a lot of what's been happening in her life gets to her - kind of screwing up trivia, maybe losing her place of employment to CBD makeup, and the drama with her new family. To this, she responds to any normal girl with anxiety does. She has a panic attack. It isn't the panic attack I had a problem with, it's what happened after. Nina just wants to be left alone for a while after it, because that is a completely normal reaction to have during, and immediately after a panic attack. Tom, our good friend, however, thinks that this is, in fact, about her shutting him out. He is not happy with being asked to leave, and thus begins The Great Poutfest of 2018. Or it could've been 2019.

This was what did it for me. Tom took a perfectly normal situation with a perfectly reasonable explanation and turned it into a bitchfest. He Nina's panic attack all about himself, and that in turn, made me mad. Especially because she had to apologise with a grand gesture and all that. It may sound very minor, but it sort of diminished all the "normalcy" of the anxiety that had made this appealing to me in the first place. Simply put, a good man's love is not a cure for anxiety or panic attacks. Fin.