R's Reviews > Blow Me Down

DNF - 153/350 pages

So let’s get one thing straight, the book summary is a lie. That bit about Erika being one of the most deadly pirates? Lie. She’s adamantly against killing. The “most” part is a lie, too. She’s a complete unknown and the story starts on the day that she makes her video game character. Speaking of which…

Has Katie MacAlister ever played a video game? Buckling Swashes – the multiplayer online game that this is all supposed to take place in – sounds god awful! Where were the quests? Fighting requires actual knowledge of fighting and doesn’t use some sort of in-game mechanic? Beginning players don’t get starting gear? No in-game menu? Who would play this?

Okay, let’s be fair, this is not a novel aimed at gamers. It’s a novel that uses gaming as a way to put modern people into a pirate world. Looked at from that lens, it works. Just be warned that anyone who knows anything about games is going to have a hard time believing that this all takes place in an actual, successful game. You’re also going to get really annoyed at Amy, the main character. She has no idea what she’s doing. The fact that she spends a good deal of time trying to get the in-game brothel to let her set up investments and 401Ks for its virtual workers should give you an idea of the kind of logic she uses and how well she understands MMOs.

I know, I’m harping on this video game thing, but I expect authors working in virtual worlds to at least follow the basic mechanics of how videogames work. Especially when there’s a wealth of excellent literary RPG novels (ex: Life Reset) that do this brilliantly.

I also expect characters to react appropriately to the idea of being trapped in a video game.

Appropriate reactions: horror, determination to get out, focus on planning what to do, tears, etc.

Inappropriate reactions: bemused whimsy or mild concern.

Guess which ones we get here?

And it’s not from Amy! It’s from the game’s creator! When he realizes he’s trapped in the game, his reaction is mild annoyance and then he goes right back to trying to get into Amy’s pants. That’s about as far from a realistic reaction as you can get! I can think of few mood-killers as good as “we are trapped in a virtual world with no clear way out and no ability to contact the outside world for help.” Especially when it also means this is true: anyone who logs in will also be trapped and that means that his company could be sued for quite a lot of money if they don’t figure this out ASAP.

While we’re on the topic of mood-killers… this is an adult romance novel and I know that means that adult things will happen, but can we try to make them a little less sexual assault-y? If a guy grabs me, forces me onto his ship, and then starts doing things to me after I tell him I’m not interested, then I’m screaming for help, not more! Especially since this isn’t some made-up, in-game pirate. It’s a modern man who should damn well know that’s not okay. Where’s the romance? Shouldn’t that come first in a romance novel? Two people who have only just met randomly making out and groping each other is hardly romantic.

I tried to keep going, but I just could not get through it. I tried half a dozen times to get through the supposed romance scene that I ended on, but it was just too awkward. Plus I was so sick of Amy being okay with her supposed romantic lead completely ignoring her stated wishes. He came across as frightening, not romantic. If I'd actually liked Amy as a character, I probably would have been yelling at her to run.

Clearly, this was not the book for me, but I am exceedingly picky when it comes to romance. If you’re a big fan of that genre, love pirates, and have no interest in video games, then it’s perfectly plausible that you’ll love this one.