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Trish's Reviews > Lords and Ladies
Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14)
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Lancre, Granny's "turf". Very bad idea to invade here and challenge a certain witch. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
In this 14th volume of the Discworld series our three witches Granny Esme Weatherwax, Nanny Githa Ogg and Magrat return after their adventure in Genua to find all preparations made for a certain royal wedding. Since I never much cared for Magrat, I also didn't really mourn her no longer being a witch but a queen-to-be(e).
However, the festivities are first hindered by a pair of cold feet and then also slightly ... shall we say "amended" ... by crop circles showing up everywhere. On the Disc, crop circles mean that the barriers between worlds weaken and what is trying to get to Lancre has not only been there before, but has also not been very nice the last time, no matter what folklore says nowadays. Theywhomustnotbenamed indeed! So it is up to Granny and Nanny to save the day again - though others are helping them, too, if they want them to or not.
This wonderful installment not only has a nice ending to Magrat's participation in the coven but also elements from Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream, which is my favourite of his.
And we get a larger cast thanks to a few wedding guests being there as well, making for a very nice and funny mix (not to mention some juicy information about Granny's younger years).
Like I said, I was never a fan of Magrat's but she was definitely at her best in this one (especially the scene (view spoiler) so it was a worthy goodbye in my opinion.
Granny is cunning and grumpy as ever; Nanny is frivolous but caring (and, yes, talented) as ever; Greebo is eternally looking for something small and squeaky (and making the most accurate observation about Magrat). All while a certain archchancellor is trying to reconnect with a certain witch, a certain dwarf is as persistent in his wooing of a certain other witch, the Librarian is in a foul mood due to how he's being treated, a troll refuses to comment about the matter, a wonderfully bloodthirsty falcon is finally getting the food it craves, we learn almost all about bee-keeping, and ... mayhem ensues. But not without a proper unicorn, of course (and no, they aren't as fluffy as you think either).
(These are from the Discworld Imaginarium and the attention to detail is even more staggering than I had hoped (but you have to have read the books to realize it)!)
Anyway, I've been a fan of the witches ever since the first book Granny made an appearance in and that hasn't changed. Therefore, I knew this would be a winner but the fact that Pratchett managed to either keep the incredibly high level of quality or even improve on it, is fantastic.
Bees for the win!
by
Trish's review
bookshelves: to-read
Jul 23, 2018
bookshelves: to-read
Read 2 times. Last read July 20, 2018 to July 23, 2018.
Lancre, Granny's "turf". Very bad idea to invade here and challenge a certain witch. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
In this 14th volume of the Discworld series our three witches Granny Esme Weatherwax, Nanny Githa Ogg and Magrat return after their adventure in Genua to find all preparations made for a certain royal wedding. Since I never much cared for Magrat, I also didn't really mourn her no longer being a witch but a queen-to-be(e).
However, the festivities are first hindered by a pair of cold feet and then also slightly ... shall we say "amended" ... by crop circles showing up everywhere. On the Disc, crop circles mean that the barriers between worlds weaken and what is trying to get to Lancre has not only been there before, but has also not been very nice the last time, no matter what folklore says nowadays. Theywhomustnotbenamed indeed! So it is up to Granny and Nanny to save the day again - though others are helping them, too, if they want them to or not.
This wonderful installment not only has a nice ending to Magrat's participation in the coven but also elements from Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream, which is my favourite of his.
And we get a larger cast thanks to a few wedding guests being there as well, making for a very nice and funny mix (not to mention some juicy information about Granny's younger years).
Like I said, I was never a fan of Magrat's but she was definitely at her best in this one (especially the scene (view spoiler) so it was a worthy goodbye in my opinion.
Granny is cunning and grumpy as ever; Nanny is frivolous but caring (and, yes, talented) as ever; Greebo is eternally looking for something small and squeaky (and making the most accurate observation about Magrat). All while a certain archchancellor is trying to reconnect with a certain witch, a certain dwarf is as persistent in his wooing of a certain other witch, the Librarian is in a foul mood due to how he's being treated, a troll refuses to comment about the matter, a wonderfully bloodthirsty falcon is finally getting the food it craves, we learn almost all about bee-keeping, and ... mayhem ensues. But not without a proper unicorn, of course (and no, they aren't as fluffy as you think either).
(These are from the Discworld Imaginarium and the attention to detail is even more staggering than I had hoped (but you have to have read the books to realize it)!)
Anyway, I've been a fan of the witches ever since the first book Granny made an appearance in and that hasn't changed. Therefore, I knew this would be a winner but the fact that Pratchett managed to either keep the incredibly high level of quality or even improve on it, is fantastic.
Bees for the win!
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Quotes Trish Liked
“The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”
― Lords and Ladies
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”
― Lords and Ladies
“Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble."
"But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg.
"That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.”
― Lords and Ladies
"But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg.
"That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.”
― Lords and Ladies
“If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“I never said nothing..."
"I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!”
― Lords and Ladies
"I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!”
― Lords and Ladies
“It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Someone got killed up here.... It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer’n the other. And a beard. He was probably a hunter."
"How’d you know all that?"
"I just trod on ‘im.”
― Lords and Ladies
"How’d you know all that?"
"I just trod on ‘im.”
― Lords and Ladies
“Nanny Ogg was an attractive lady, which is not the same as being beautiful. She fascinated Casanunda. She was an incredibly comfortable person to be around, partly because she had a mind so broad it could accommodate three football fields and a bowling alley.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“There are very few starts. Oh, some things seem to be beginnings. The curtain goes up, the first pawn moves, the first shot is fired - but that's not the start. The play, the game, the war is just a little window on a ribbon of events that may extend back thousands of years. The point is, there's always something before. It's always a case of Now Read On.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Granny Weatherwax was stretched rigid on her bed. Her face was gray, her skin was cold. People had discovered her like this before, and it always caused embarrassment. So now she reassured visitors but tempted fate by always holding, in her rigid hands, a small handwritten sign which read: I ATE’NT DEAD.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Many worlds are iron, at the core. But the Discworld is as coreless as a pancake. On the Disc, if you enchant a needle it will point to the Hub, where the magical field is strongest. It’s simple. Elsewhere, on worlds designed with less imagination, the needle turns because of the love of iron.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“So I had to learn. All my life. The hard way. And the hard way’s pretty hard, but not so hard as the easy way. I learned.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Nanny Ogg gave this the same consideration as would a nuclear physicist who'd just been told that someone was banging two bits of sub-critical uranium together to keep warm.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“What about the fire?’ she said. ‘What fire?’ ‘Swept through our house just after we were married. Killed us both.’ ‘What fire? I don’t know anything about any fire?’ Granny turned around. ‘Of course not! It didn’t happen. But the point is, it might have happened. You can’t say “if this didn’t happen then that would have happened” because you don’t know everything that might have happened. You might think something’d be good, but for all you know it could have turned out horrible. You can’t say “If only I’d …” because you could be wishing for anything. The point is, you’ll never know. You’ve gone past. So there’s no use thinking about it. So I don’t.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“There had been plenty of singers whose high notes could smash a glass but Nanny's high C could clean it.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“She's a queen. That's pretty high,' said Nanny Ogg. 'Almost as high as witches.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“What is magic? Then there is the witches’ explanation, which comes in two forms, depending on the age of the witch. Older witches hardly put words to it at all, but may suspect in their hearts that the universe really doesn’t know what the hell is going on and consists of a zillion trillion billion possibilities, and could become any one of them if a trained mind rigid with quantum certainty was inserted in the crack and twisted; that, if you really had to make someone’s hat explode, all you needed to do was twist into that universe where a large number of hat molecules all decide at the same time to bounce off in different directions. Younger witches, on the other hand, talk about it all the time and believe it involves crystals, mystic forces, and dancing about without yer drawers on. Everyone may be right, all at the same time. That’s the thing about quantum.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“That’s the way of it,’ she said. ‘It’s not what you’ve got that matters, it’s how you’ve got it. Well, we’re just about ready, then.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“The feeling just crept over her, as part of the normal stock-taking that any body automatically does in the first seconds of emergence from the pit of dreams: arms: 2, legs: 2, existential dread: 58%, randomized guilt: 94%, witchcraft level: 00.00.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Greebo always slept on Nanny’s bed; the way he’d affectionately try to claw your eyeballs out in the morning was as good as an alarm clock. But she always left a window open all night in case he wanted to go out and disembowel something, bless him.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“Heartless it may be, but headless it ain't. I've never claimed to be nice, just to be sensible.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“This was because the hawks and falcons in the castle mews were all Lancre birds and therefore naturally possessed of a certain “sod you” independence of mind. After much patient breeding and training Hodgesaargh had managed to get them to let go of someone’s wrist, and now he was working on stopping them viciously attacking the person who had just been holding them, i.e., invariably Hodgesaargh. He was nevertheless a remarkably optimistic and good-natured man who lived for the day when his hawks would be the finest in the world. The hawks lived for the day when they could eat his other ear.”
― Lords and Ladies
― Lords and Ladies
“The universe doesn't much care if you tread on a butterfly. There are plenty more butterflies. Gods might note the fall of a sparrow but they don't make any effort to catch them.
Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there’ll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland? In fifty years’, thirty years’, ten years’ time the world will be very nearly back on its old course. History always has a great weight of inertia.”
― Lords and Ladies
Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there’ll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland? In fifty years’, thirty years’, ten years’ time the world will be very nearly back on its old course. History always has a great weight of inertia.”
― Lords and Ladies
Reading Progress
October 4, 2014
– Shelved
October 4, 2014
– Shelved as:
to-read
July 20, 2018
–
Started Reading
July 20, 2018
–
0%
"Yassss! Granny, Nanny and even Death and the Librarian. Not to mention my beloved Greebo.
AND this installment is an hommage to Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which is my favourite play by him.
*sighs contently*"
AND this installment is an hommage to Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which is my favourite play by him.
*sighs contently*"
July 23, 2018
–
0%
"I don't even know where to begin. The wanna-be witch girls? The book that turns out NOT to be about marital arts but martial arts? What happened to the poor troll after calling the Librarian an ape? The information about bee keeping that made Magrat run for the hills? Or the truth about the E**es?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
July 23, 2018
–
Finished Reading
January 1, 2024
– Shelved as:
to-read
July 28, 2024
– Shelved
(Audible Audio Edition)
July 29, 2024
–
Started Reading
(Audible Audio Edition)
July 29, 2024
–
Finished Reading
(Audible Audio Edition)
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Bradley
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rated it 4 stars
Jul 23, 2018 07:27AM
BEES! :)
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Loved this series - my wife said when I heard he'd passed away it was like a death in the family. Probably the funniest stories ever written!
Mort wrote: "Loved this series - my wife said when I heard he'd passed away it was like a death in the family. Probably the funniest stories ever written!"Don't I know that feeling. It's why I had been so reluctant to start the series. I always tear up.
