Guess what just happened? Someone reported me once again to the stern but fair GR police.
I can just picture them stomping their greasy fingers on theGuess what just happened? Someone reported me once again to the stern but fair GR police.
I can just picture them stomping their greasy fingers on the keyboard inside their yeasty den, gritted teeth an'all.
"HEY GR! THERE'S THIS DAFT CUNT WHO KEEPS BEING FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL TOWARDS MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE NECKBEARD! NOW I WANT YOU TO TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY! YOU WANT TO DELETE THE STUFF HE POSTED ON THE COMMENT SECTION RIGHT FUCKING NOW! I WON'T EVEN TRY TO CONFRONT THE BITCH BECAUSE HE MIGHT END UP TAKING THE PISS OUT OF ME. Y'HEAR ME? CENSORSHIP HIS ARSE! HAVE HIM SHUT HIS WHORE MOUTH! THAT SHIT MAKES ME FUCKING INSECURE! AND I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO EASE THE PAIN I FEEL INSIDE BY ABUSING MY PENCIL SAUSAGE TO DONKEY PORN! THANK YOU!"
Two minutes later...
Hi there,
Your comment on your review of The Narrow Road Between Desires was brought to our attention. As we previously stated, reviews that contain personal attacks that primarily focus on an author's behavior rather than the content of the book violate our Review Guidelines. Attempting to circumvent our Review Guidelines by posting the text of the review in the comments also breaks our rules. We removed your comments from Goodreads, and attached a copy for your personal records.
Please refrain from posting comments or reviews like this in the future to avoid your account coming under review.
Sincerely, The Goodreads Team
Fuck my life...
And, once again, the lovely peeps at GR let me know I've been naughty.
Hi there,
Your review of The Narrow Road Between Desires was brought to our attention. As stated in our Review Guidelines, we do not allow reviews that contain personal attacks or that primarily focus on an author's behavior rather than the content of the book.
We removed your review from Goodreads, and attached a copy for your personal records. You are welcome to post another review of the book as long as it falls within our rules.
If you have concerns about the behavior of an author or another member, please bring the content to our attention or contact us so we can evaluate. Please refrain from posting reviews like this in the future.
Sincerely, The Goodreads Team
So I'm going to re-write the whole thaang and, while doing so, I'll endeavour to be as decent a human being as one can possibly be in order not to trigger the lots of yaz.
In case some of you aren't aware of it, this is no "previously unreleased novella" but just a rewriting of The Lightning Tree off the Rogues anthology of short stories. I understand that there's people out there that are literally jumping at the idea of this lazy piece of verm-er... "author" releasing new shit. Only this ain't no new shit, it's just old shit plus pretty drawings. A cash-grab, that is.
There, that's all you need to know. And, again, thank you, GR, for telling me off. I'll try to be a good kid. I think....more
Aye, I read this a while ago as it was included in a collection of short stories (Unfettered, if memory serves). I didn't like it, it was even more poAye, I read this a while ago as it was included in a collection of short stories (Unfettered, if memory serves). I didn't like it, it was even more pointless than The Slow Regard of Silent Things. Utter pretentious shite. A pile of it.
Oh, chances are the neckbeard will publish this monumental load of wank in a couple of years with a different title, the addition of pretty drawings and some minor editing. Fifteen bucks or so....more
Right. I didn't like the book, I thought it was garbage when I read it. But that's not the point. The point is GR didn't like my review and the commenRight. I didn't like the book, I thought it was garbage when I read it. But that's not the point. The point is GR didn't like my review and the comments about it.
Basically, I got an e-mail where the Goodreads' Committee Against Bad-Mouth told me off for writing inappropriate stuff that might hurt somebody's feelings, and I've been a bad, bad boy, and don't do it again, you heartless, despicable, mean, inane, worthless piece of bigoted shit, you!
Now, I'll admit I couldn't help chuckling. Why? Here's the first line off that message.
Hi there, We have deleted your review and comments of Salvation (Salvation Sequence #1) "You're a cunt.(...)
This...this...creature owns a mansion worth 120,000,000$, FOUR private jets (he boarded one of them to fly to Paris in order to attend the climate chaThis...this...creature owns a mansion worth 120,000,000$, FOUR private jets (he boarded one of them to fly to Paris in order to attend the climate change summit in 2015), FIVE helicopters, SIX Porches, TWO BMWs, FOUR Mercedes and probably a big fuck-off yacht the size of a coral atoll.
BUT Bill says we're the ones who're supposed to quit the following:
1. going on international holidays, 2. driving a car equipped with a petrol engine, 3. using AC, 4. living in a house with more than 4 rooms, 5. etc.
If you, like myself, are looking for another The Man Who Fell to Earth or another Stranger in a Strange Land, you want to look elsewhere because this If you, like myself, are looking for another The Man Who Fell to Earth or another Stranger in a Strange Land, you want to look elsewhere because this is definitely more Sophie Kinsella than Tevis & Heinlein. Oh, needs to be said I haven't read a single Sophie Kinsella's book in my whole damn life, and I don't plan to. So chances are I'm wrong anyway, and this is a different sort of load of wank altogether.
Guess what? "The Humans" is really not my cup of tea but I can see why so many peeps find it to be a great story, and you may want to read their reviews because I can't be arsed to explain their point. Me? Let's just say that when I was roughly 60% in, I noticed my ballsack was dangling around my ankles. I'll recap the story for those of yaz who might be interested: (view spoiler)[there's an alien who's been sent to earth, he enters the body of a dead professor and his task is to kill everybody even remotely aware of a mathematical equation or summat that happens to be a real paradigm shift for humanity. He has to slay the entire professor's family but he eventually falls in love with said professor's wife and (hide spoiler)]fuck this!
But, but, but...what about the introspection? And the witty dialogue? And the clever British humour? And the philosophical bits? And all the oh so true observations about mankind?
Again, I don't care about all them bollocks. This is 24 carat chick-lit, and if this sounds sexist (and it probably is), I don't give a flying squirrel's chuff, it's still chick-lit anyway.
All I'm asking when I read fiction is a good story, nothing more, nothing less. I don't want to be lecWow, this sucked serious arse and donkey balls.
All I'm asking when I read fiction is a good story, nothing more, nothing less. I don't want to be lectured about the true values of life according to Erikson, I don't give half a platypus turd about that.
This was supposed to be a huge BR with heaps of peeps, only the book turned out to be a monumental pile of shite.
Chapter #3 - This is where I'm givinThis was supposed to be a huge BR with heaps of peeps, only the book turned out to be a monumental pile of shite.
Chapter #3 - This is where I'm giving up. I've been told the the following instalments are much better than this one, but, honestly, I just don't have time nor energy to even try. Also, I'm supposed to finish this bastard to actually go ahead with the story, thing is there are so many issues in the pages I've gone through, I just don't feel like that, I'd rather... I don't even know.
I'm told N.K. Jemisin won YET another ((probably) deserved) Hugo Award this year. Her third in a row.
As some of yaz are probably New updated review.
I'm told N.K. Jemisin won YET another ((probably) deserved) Hugo Award this year. Her third in a row.
As some of yaz are probably well aware of, I'm not fond of her writing style nor of her bullshit books. What can I do? I just don't like her stuff. Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, when I tried to read the first installment of "The Broken Earth", I just failed to finish it and ended up throwing the bastard on the barbie along with some shrimps and prawns... ruining both the shrimps and the prawns, just so you know.
Also, a few days ago, I was amiably discussing the novel in question with some peeps in a... let's call it "forum" on the Interwebz... but, as soon as I pointed out what my personal feelings were when it comes to this series of books and the author, well, let's say that my views weren't met with enthusiasm by the admin and I got an instaban. I swear I didn't call anyone funny names and shit. I was like wtf, why?
Anyway, I'm digressing. I know I should be talking about "The Fifth Season" but, I'll tell you what? I think I've learned my lesson so I'm going to be writing about my day instead, aye?
The weather has been glorious lately so I thought I'd take my camera for a walk in order to show you where I live.
All right, this is the church, you can see the white cross where our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified for all our sins. Present, past and future ones.
Aye, anyway... I guess if I say it's an utter load of wank, nobody will notice.
I honestly tried, without prejudice, and - go figure - failed. DNF.
Not only is this book written in present tense - which bugs the ever loving fuck out of me -, it's also written in second person which is *possibly* even worse, it just kicks my feeble, tiny, weak brain in.
I gave it a go a few months ago because of the hype and the praise, and 50 pages in or so, I was this close to tossing the bastard on the barbie and calling it all the known names on earth. I eventually didn't burn the steaming pile, and gave it to a friend of mine who - ha! - equally loathed it.
I reckon it's probably my issue. I mean, there are way too many enthusiastic reviews on GR, y'know. What can I say? I still think "The Fifth Season" is a waste or trees....more
I remember reading this back in... pfff... probably 1992 when I was much younger. I didn't like it at the time, I thought it was absolutely hideous, bI remember reading this back in... pfff... probably 1992 when I was much younger. I didn't like it at the time, I thought it was absolutely hideous, but read it anyway because back then I had much more time on my hands than now. Well, I stumbled upon this piece of junk today, it was inside an old cardboard box so I thumbed through the pages and... ugh! Present tense, horrible dialogue full of the worst cliches, and depression aplenty.
So, is this what I've been waiting for over the past four years? Really? Did I just read a novella about Auri making soap (aye, soap!), suffering fromSo, is this what I've been waiting for over the past four years? Really? Did I just read a novella about Auri making soap (aye, soap!), suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder and sort of going apeshit whenever stuff isn't "properly" done-set-placed?
I guess I'm not part of the "different" people who enjoy "trunk-stories" (as Pat calls them at the end of this book; right... "book" if we can actually call TSROST that).
Oh well, it is what it is.
"The Slow Regard of Silent Things" didn't do much for me (apart from pissing me off for reasons I won't mention here); it's not what I was expecting. Yeah, go figure! It's not even a "proper" story ("The Lightning Tree" off "Rogues" is a PROPER story).
TSROST is... I don't even know what to call it... hip-fucking-ster literature, maybe? Well, there ya gawwwww.
Some girl suggested me Kate Morton's "The Forgotten Garden". She went: "Oh, it's amazing! Pure bliss! Blahblahblah(...)" Well, if you're reading theseSome girl suggested me Kate Morton's "The Forgotten Garden". She went: "Oh, it's amazing! Pure bliss! Blahblahblah(...)" Well, if you're reading these lines, know that I honestly gave it a go, I was like "Let's give the bastard a chance, you never know." Well, turns out this novel obviously isn't my cup of tea as it's clearly aimed to "female readers." Me? I just couldn't go beyond page 138. Alright, back to grimdark now....more
**spoiler alert** I knew it'd end up this way. I knew it.
So there's this bloke who shags a truckload of hot birds who finds this manuscript about a...**spoiler alert** I knew it'd end up this way. I knew it.
So there's this bloke who shags a truckload of hot birds who finds this manuscript about a... whatever... let's call it a "documentary" about a house (and, by the way, everytime you stumble upon the word "house", you'll notice it's printed in blue ink. Edgy!) which happens to be bigger inside than outside. Then one day a brand new hallway materializes out of nowhere.
And then like...
- "hey, let's see what's in there, shall we?" - "Yush!" - "Oh, there's a bottomless stairway, and guess what? It's never the same!" - "That's rad!" - "Woops... We're lost!" - "Oh poo!"
And then you find yourself hoping the author will eventually give you the answers to all your questions but, ha! FERGETET! And then, when you get to the last page of the book, you find out there are hidden messages in the previous pages and you're supposed to find them. All by yourself.
And you're like "Are you shitting me?", that's when you start calling the book all the known names on earth.
That said, me thinks Danielweski had the idea about the shape-shifting house but couldn't come up with a proper ending so, instead of letting the whole thing go to shite (aye, it's spelled "shite") and moving on to another project, he went "I'll just go ahead and make something up... like... how about entire pages with just one line? Better yet, just one word? And then I'm going to have some pages printed sideways or with just a sentence on the upper corner... yes! People are going to call me a genius! Go me!"
I really wanted to like this, but I had to give up at page 70. Horrible dialogue, even worse inner-dialogue, the two main characters are so average anI really wanted to like this, but I had to give up at page 70. Horrible dialogue, even worse inner-dialogue, the two main characters are so average and stereotyped it makes me want to kill kittens.
If you're into fantasy, avoid Terry Goodkind.
Mind you, I read "The Law Of Nines" before trying this putrid pile, and guess what? I found it to be one of the biggest pieces of crap I ever stumbled upon, but I had been told that it was Goodkind's worst offering so I was like "let's give the bastard another chance". Seriously: if "Wizard's First Rule" is supposed to be Goodkind's best book, I don't even want to know what's inside his other novels.
This is so bad it makes you want to forget how to read. It's like grinding your corneas with a cheesegrater. It's that kind of awful. Painfully awful.This is so bad it makes you want to forget how to read. It's like grinding your corneas with a cheesegrater. It's that kind of awful. Painfully awful. Ugh......more
Loading...
