The entire time I was reading this book, I could only think of one thing: The Emperors New Groove. Just from the first paragraph you can see the similThe entire time I was reading this book, I could only think of one thing: The Emperors New Groove. Just from the first paragraph you can see the similarities. Needless to say: I’m going to be using a hella lot of Emperor’s New Groove gifs. Stay if you dare.
So the book starts off with our main character, Drew Evans, sulking in his apartment and feeling sorry for himself. Ring any bells?
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And thats when he starts telling the story of how he became this pathetic, smelly heap on the couch.
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It really wasn’t hard for me to compare our book protagonist to Emperor Kuzco. Especially when Drew flashes back to four months ago, when it all began. When he had everything.
The luxury lifestyle.
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The good looks.
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The women who swooned at the sight of him and fell over themselves trying to please him.
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Who he treated terribly by the way.
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And of course the arrogant, offensive, and condescending attitude to create the complete jackass package.
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In the Emperor’s New Groove, Kuzco (a.k.a Drew) was then turned into a llama by the poison that Yzma and Kronk gave him- and he began to learn how not to be such a spoiled little tool. Stay with me on this, I promise I have a point. Kate ends up doing basically the same thing for Drew. She "throws off his groove", if you will.
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But Kate is too smart to fall for Drew’s shenanigans, and she rejects him over and over again.
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At first I didn’t mind Drew, liked him even, despite all the little sexist comments and disgusting innuendos he was constantly pulling out of his… mouth. Sorry, trying to keep it PG. But then, when he and Kate started working together on getting a big contract and Kate said that she wanted to do the talking, Drew said this:
“Saul Anderson,” I say, “is an old-fashioned businessman—you just said it yourself. He’s going to want to talk to another business man, not someone he sees as a glorified secretary.”
That managed to flip by bitch switch in two seconds flat, because there is something you should know about Kate. She went to U-Penn’s business school and graduated top of her class. She is smart and hardworking and Drew sees her as a “glorified secretary?”
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You see it coming too right?
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And then, Drew said this:
"I bet you didn’t know this, but lots of guys have a thing for Ariel. You know, from The Little Mermaid? I’ve never been into her myself, but I can understand the attraction: she fills out her shells nicely, she’s a redhead, and she spends most of the movie unable to speak"
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You see it? That thing nosediving off of the waterfall? Yeah, thats my respect for this book and for Drew. Take a good look because I don’t think you’ll ever see it again. Seriously I just wanted to sock Drew right in that big, egotistical, dense head of his.
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Kate eventually caught on to what an obnoxious douche nozzle Drew is and tried to ignore him. The rich little mama’s boy- of course- then tried to buy her affections back with presents.
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And she threw it back in his face like the intelligent woman she is.
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Drew gets all hot and bothered. Cue sulking and whining.
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He gives her more presents. And eventually she takes him back. …I might have overstated how smart Kate is.
Then, as the final nail in the coffin, Drew says this:
"For many men, their car is equivalent to the perfect woman. We can build her to look exactly how we want, we can ride her hard and she won’t complain, and we can easily trade her in when a newer, younger model comes along. It’s pretty much the ideal relationship"
And people said this guy was funny?
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There were some good aspects to this book too, hence the three stars that I ended up giving it, but Drew’s chauvinistic attitude was just too much for me. The only thing that I learned from Drew was that you’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
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