As a former born-again Baptist who attended a Christian parochial school and Bible college, and as a gay man who started to figure out while in my teeAs a former born-again Baptist who attended a Christian parochial school and Bible college, and as a gay man who started to figure out while in my teens that in spite of all I'd been taught to believe, I am homosexual, this story really resonated with me. The details contained within this story probably would be shocking to most readers. The attitudes and platitudes and unbelievable stupidity and prejudice that spews from the mouths of those who truly believe would seem absurd to most readers. The twisted, often cruel form of parenting depicted in this memoir would be viewed by most as being--at the very least--abusive.
All of these seemingly pointless rules and the doctrines that support them make perfect sense to those of us who've embraced or were raised in fundamentalist Christianity. I've no doubt whatsoever that Aaron's parents loved him and his siblings with all their hearts. Without question they sincerely believed they were doing what was best for their children.
The aspect of the story that struck a chord in my heart was the manner in which Aaron began questioning his beliefs. It felt almost as if he had a magical ability to read my mind for he repeatedly quoted verbatim the exact questions I asked. Questions about heaven and hell. Questions about God's plan, creating a species of beings who were condemned at birth and then selectively preordaining certain individuals for eternal happiness. The rest would ultimately suffer in the torment of everlasting flames.
As Aaron talked about the doctrines of eternal security, separation, atonement, eschatology, etc., I nodded knowingly. I understood all he was saying and why he was saying it. I knew what he meant by "preserving our testimony". I understood how he believed that every question within his mind was a temptation of Satan. I got it when he said his conscience had been seared--how he initially experienced excruciating guilt when he "sinned" then eventually was able to suppress or ignore those feelings.
But the one thing that was probably most meaningful to me was how he felt when he taught small children at camp and scared them with a story about hell. I too was Sunday school and junior church teacher. I too taught at vacation Bible school, and I felt this same guilt. It seemed so wrong to indoctrinate the young with fear and self-loathing. It seemed so horrible to instill in those impressionable minds the idea that they were already condemned to eternal suffering simply for being the individuals that God created.
I'm hopeful this story doesn't end with this book. I want to see the reaction of his family as he comes out. I want to see how his Nanny reacts, and I hope she provides an example for his parents. I want to know if his father ever realizes how much he hurt his son with his legalism and over-protective control. And most of all, I just want to see Aaron as a happy adult who loves himself for who he is.
I think this book should be required reading for all born-again Christians, regardless of how they feel about homosexuality.
And one other note: the meticulous editing gave this book a polished feel that is seldom matched nowadays....more
Loading...
