Nothing says !!MALE AUTHOR!! like a sex act in almost EVERY. SINGLE. CHAPTER and women ALWAYS described first and foremost by theirPREPARE FOR A RANT.
Nothing says !!MALE AUTHOR!! like a sex act in almost EVERY. SINGLE. CHAPTER and women ALWAYS described first and foremost by their heaving, always engorged breasts.
I'm so mad.
A Summary: - Characters are never properly described -Allusions to the past make you feel you missed an entire book/trilogy before this -Plot is hard to make out -Sex nudity sex boobs rape sex boobs groping sex obscene paintings boobs rape nudity sex ETC
In further detail:
Characters Having read this book, I still have very little idea of what ANY of these characters look like. I was 300 pages in before I realised one of the characters was black. That seems like something I should have known. Other than that, the dudes have guts and the ladies have heaving breasts.
It is very hard to follow a story with multiple characters when you have no idea what any of the characters actually look like.
Allusions to the Past The setting of this book is about a decade after a big battle in which all the main characters were heroes, to the extent that they killed a dragon and led armies to great victory. Now they're old and essentially past their prime but things drag them back into the fold somehow.
I honestly had to double check that there wasn't another book or series set in the same world with these characters. I still feel like there is and I just missed it. Because there are so many references to things that happened in the past that are more confusing than scene-building. For example, how is it that they killed a dragon and it was a big deal and then there is just zero other references to dragons?! Also who/what are these Lizard people and where are they now? Admittedly, I skimmed a lot of the political rants because I could not make heads or tails of any of it. There are so many names for people, places, things, etc that I could not keep track one bit. There is so much information and none of it is explained clearly enough to get a true picture of this world.
Plot So, as mentioned above, things are very messy and confusing. Our main protagonist, Ringil, is drawn out of the quiet life by the search for his cousin. This happens within the first few chapters of the book, yet we see almost zero progress in this quest aside from Ringil insulting people and either getting into fights or getting into bed with them. I liked the steppe dude and his basic story of sibling rivalry but the third main character? I just honestly had no idea what was going on with her. Something about being a lapdog for the emperor. *shrugs* She also has a lot of names that I honestly could not be bothered even READING let alone mentally pronouncing properly.
Sex etc. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
What IS it with male fantasy authors needing to live out their every pornographic fantasy in the books they write? There was 100% NO NEED for this level of debauchery. Also, WHY are fat, ugly, has-been heroes irresistible to one and all? Get outta here.
Conclusion This book was just so heavily overshadowed by all the sex, rape and acts of sexual subservience that there was no room left to develop plot, characters or the world. A complete mess from start to finish.
Target audience: dudes who love 'anti hereoes' who are actually just unappealing men who get laid a lot; guys who say they like 'gritty' fantasy but actually just like lots of death and sex; readers who prefer sex and violence over plot and world-building....more
The blurb promises darkness, monsters, gods. What we get is pieces of other people's stories woven togetherEugh, this ended up being so disappointing.
The blurb promises darkness, monsters, gods. What we get is pieces of other people's stories woven together by a really thin premise: a 'corruption' is taking over and only Leta has the power to save the world.
*eyeroll*
So here we have: Beauty and the Beast and The Secret Garden, with a little bit of SJM's A Court of Thorns and Roses thrown in for good measure. Leta is forced to stay at this horrible mansion with all of its luxuries under the watchful glare of its mysterious, monstrous lord. Rowan is of course the brooding, misunderstood monster who really just needs love to cure all of his ails.
Everything about this book frustrated me.
I think we're supposed to be impressed by how fearless and headstrong Violeta is but honestly she annoyed me so much. She keeps doing stupid things because she selfishly believes she's the only one capable of doing anything, and she totally smothers her brother under the pretext of 'protecting' him. She argues about everything and yet somehow everyone is impressed by her? (view spoiler)[For example, everyone was so surprised and impressed she gave up her magic to save her brother? But I'm just like, of course she did?? Since when could magic ever be more important than your brother's life?! (hide spoiler)]
Rowan also did nothing for me because he's your typical control freak who likes to just yell at people to not do things but never actually explain anything, all while awkwardly hitting on Leta then pushing her away in an endless cycle.
The story is so ridiculously repetitive and pointless. Basically, there's a 'corruption' that the gang needs to fix. But it's just constantly the same thing: corruption is bad -> ritual to combat corruption -> ritual goes wrong -> corruption is still bad -> ritual -> goes wrong -> REPEAT ENDLESSLY.
PLUS the bonus of: I really like him -> but he's a monster -> but he's just misunderstood - but he'd never want me -> so I'm totally not into him -> but I like him a lot -> but he's a monster -> not really though -> ETC FOR ETERNITY.
Kill me now.
This whole thing was pointless and painful and repetitive and didn't deliver any of the darkness I was hoping for.
I'm so bummed.
If you're into that whole, 'mysterious brooding monster man falls for Perfectly Ordinary yet Feisty Female' trope you're gonna love this trash. Personally, I felt like so much of this story was just done better elsewhere.
Definitely won't be reading the inevitable sequel.
With thanks and apologies to Macmillan for sending me a copy...more
Paolini is a fantasy author and nowhere is that more apparent than in this, his sciDNF @ Pg 536 (61%)
I think it's time to review this monstrosity.
Paolini is a fantasy author and nowhere is that more apparent than in this, his sci-fi debut. Stick to fantasy, buddy.
Let me just start with a list of my complaints and go from there.
- Dull and slow from the get-go - Science is generally pretty light on, unless it's going into pointlessly detailed explanations of something - Characters are annoying cardboard cutouts - Frustrating behaviour - The plot is almost non-existent - The aliens are a friggin parody - Tons of inconsistencies - Just so pointlessly looooooong
*sigh*
Dull, slow, pointlessly long with a non-existent plot Here is the formula of this story: Kira, our protagonist, finds an alien super suit. She passes out. She has a weird dream. She wakes. They are travelling to another location. She goes to sleep. She has a weird dream. When she wakes, they are arriving somewhere. There is a fight. She passes out. Has a weird dream. Wakes up, they're headed somewhere else. Another fight. She passes out/goes to sleep. Has a weird dream. ARE YOU SEEING WHERE THIS IS GOING?!
I read over 500 pages of this stupid book and still have no freaking clue what the actual point of it was. I have no idea what was happening because it was all so similar it just blurred together. Honestly, if I had to read one more fking dream sequence I was going to scream. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS BOOK TO BE NEARLY 900 PAGES LONG.
The science Admittedly, I don't read a huge amount of sci-fi, because the science tends to go over my head. However I recently read (and enjoyed immensely) The Salvation Sequence and this is the sci-fi I am comparing this book to.
I enjoy science that goes a little over my head, but in The Salvation Sequence the point of all the fancy sci-fi lingo was explained. For example, there would be a scientific explanation for something like about how energy would be channelled through the Thingamajig which would multiply the trajectory of the Whatchamacallit into the square root of pi or whatever and then it would explain, 'basically, when the Thingamajig went off, the tunnel would be blown to smithereens' (Clearly this is an example not just of what I mean but also of my complete lack of comprehension of some of the science stuff haha). Point is, no matter how lost I was with the science, I still understood what was happening.
In this book, there's actually not a lot of science, despite being set in space in the future. It's all kind of dumbed down, but then it will have a little fit here and there where it goes into a scientific explanation about something and you just have to understand it or you get left behind. I'm not exactly an advanced physicist (shocking, I know) so I definitely didn't get it.
Meanwhile, they nickname the giant squid aliens JELLIES. *facepalm*
Cardboard characters with frustrating behaviour First we have Kira, who is our saintly protagonist who can do no wrong. Even when she's accidentally slaughtering people she's forgiven, because she didn't mean to, and she feels really bad about it. Also she's somehow always saving lives but don't thank her because she's just doing what anyone else would have done. Honestly, how everyone saw her as a hero constantly kind of mystified me because half the time I had no idea what they were referring to. She seemed to always be causing more trouble. She makes so many stupid mistakes and questionable choices and I just could not root for her. Especially when no one gave her nearly as much crap as she deserved.
Next we have the motley crew, and anyone who knows my reading habits knows I love a good motley crew. But these guys were just SO BORING. They are nothing new: the brooding Captain who everyone loves and respects and who our main character is definitely going to bang at some point (mercifully I didn't get there but I guarantee it happens eventually), the gruff sidekick who is actually more kind and considerate than you'd expect, the tough, quiet one with a soft spot, the feisty warrior one, the joker ... and honestly again they all blended together because they were so unoriginal I didn't give two craps about them. I hope they all get blown to pieces in a grand finale. (Tell me they do and I might reconsider finishing this book.)
Among all of this is a handful of terrible jokes and a little bullying on the side which I can only assume is both an attempt to lighten the mood but also teach people that bullying is wrong. (Thank you, Mr Paolini, for pointing this out to me in your super wise, realistic, science fiction/fantasy novel. I am so moved by this completely random message.)
Honestly, THIS IS A TRAINWRECK OF A BOOK.
The aliens and the inconsistencies So the Big Bad are aliens which apparently look like giant squid and our protagonist and her squad take to nicknaming them Jellies. Because why call them squids, right? Also, even though Kira and her squad have come up with this nickname, it is coincidentally the same nickname EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE picked and chooses to use - even after knowing (or even ONLY knowing) their actual species name. Because 'Jellies' just represents such an intelligent, malevolent kind of vibe, right? How am I supposed to take this threat seriously?! I just kept thinking this was actually set deep in the ocean with mutated sea creatures. Maybe it would have made for a better story if it had been.
Concluding thoughts Essentially, this is a fantasy novel, set in space, featuring evil sea creatures and it just DOES NOT WORK. There's so much being crammed in but there's not really a plot to drive it or even tie it together neatly. It's just a mashup of a bunch of ambitious ideas.
Imagine this: You decide you're going to let out this massive scream, right, so you draw all this air into your lungs, you're sucking it back, your chest is expanding, it is going to be a scream heard throughout the world, and then when you finally open your mouth ready to unleash this scream ... you let out an involuntary huff of breath - 'ah'. THAT'S THIS STORY. The ultimate disappointment. It is a world built of scraps and falling apart at every join.
My feelings toward this book perfectly sum up my feelings toward 2020: I was excited, had big plans, expected great things, and then as soon as it started it was falling apart and it just got worse and worse and more and more frustrating and now I am just overjoyed that it's OVER.
With thanks and apologies to the publisher for my ARC...more
Honestly, I hate writing reviews like this for books given to me by publishers, but WOW was this a piece of work.
My biggest problem with i*heavy sigh*
Honestly, I hate writing reviews like this for books given to me by publishers, but WOW was this a piece of work.
My biggest problem with it - aside from being incredibly boring - is that it basically feels like an old white dude trying to cram anti-racism down your throat. I'm all for supporting anti-racism, but the delivery was all wrong and I found it so patronising.
There's also just no story to it. It's so dull! I blame Jock Serong's Preservation for giving me unrealistic expectations for this book. I was expecting a fascinating survival story set in the early days of Australia. I was expecting unprepared white fellas confronted by harsh climate, unforgiving scrubland, and the perplexing conundrum of interacting with the local Indigenous population when they're (the white dudes) all racist bastards. I was expecting insight into the fascinating practices, customs and general way of living of older Aboriginal cultures. I was expecting a thoughtful exploration of this early racism in the midst of a great story.
What did I get?
White dudes fighting with white dudes. White dudes complaining about everything. White dudes talking about murdering the locals coz they're black. One white dude reflecting on FRIGGING EVERYTHING instead of ACTUALLY TELLING THE STORY.
Not gonna lie, I skimmed the last 200-odd pages HARD.
This was supposed to be a 'fierce, intriguing and thoughtful retelling' and none of those things are true. The basic history is that the English invaded Australia, murdered a bunch of the locals then spent their lives trying to convert the rest of them to the 'white people' way of living. This book doesn't even come close to turning that on its head. This book is essentially just white people complaining and I had no time for it. Then you've got random chapters here and there finally told from the point of view of a local, and he just wants to throw random words at you and tell you random Aboriginal legends. This book STILL doesn't care about telling his story.
I just found the whole mess so frustrating.
When there are man-eating crocodiles around and I'm still bored, it's a bad sign.
There is definitely a lot of interesting information about the practices of Aboriginal people, but if I was interested in the facts of things delivered as bluntly as this I'd pick up a non-fiction book (I am, in fact, slowly working my way around to Dark Emu, which has been highly recommended for this kind of information). This book purports to be an intriguing re-telling, which automatically suggests everything about the story is false, and then it doesn't even give a story worthy of all the 'what if?'s.
It was utterly disappointing.
There were some moments that were interesting, but they were so scarce it felt like too little, too late. For a book that implies a necessary appreciation for the importance of Indigenous culture, it was told an awful lot from a white guy's point of view, and is predominantly about the discomfort of these white dudes. I HAD NO TIME FOR IT.
I'm just incredibly frustrated by how much this missed the mark. Maybe others more detail-oriented will appreciate it but for me it was too much about the author trying to make his own points rather than any kind of decent story.
If you are interested in a great story from the early days of Australian settlement, I'd highly recommend Preservation, my review of which can be found HERE I also want to link to a friend's review of Dark Emu because it provides some great insight into the book, as well as other resources to check out. You can read Patty's review HERE
With thanks and apologies to A&U who sent me an ARC to read and review...more
Yeah this is definitely not gonna happen for me. I am not into the whole, 'sexual abuse is so HAWWWT' bullsh*t that is apparently a trend? WHAT IS WROYeah this is definitely not gonna happen for me. I am not into the whole, 'sexual abuse is so HAWWWT' bullsh*t that is apparently a trend? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.
This review told me everything I needed to know. Thanks for taking one for the team and reading this so I never ever have to. ...more
In this book's defence, it was an accidental purchase, and not something I'd have picked up if I'd known it was romance. I was uDNF @ pg 242 (74%)
In this book's defence, it was an accidental purchase, and not something I'd have picked up if I'd known it was romance. I was unlucky in that the first Nora Roberts book I ever read was light-hearted and fun and so I thought she wrote contemporary, rather than romance. So that's on me.
But JEEZUZ.
Is all romance really this terrible? I mean, I like a good love story but what the heck was this?
I do like that the series stays in the family but follows different people. It's a neat idea. And I like magic and the paranormal. Plus there's a mystery. But all of this stuff is stomped all over so that two people who hate each other can be thrust into one another (see what I did there) and forced to play out a cringe-worthy 'love' affair.
The blurb:'A missing child. A desperate mother. A private investigator running out of time.'
The actual story: Mel's friend's baby has been kidnapped. Despite her best PI efforts, she hasn't been able to find him so desperate mum turns to a psychic for help. Naturally the psychic is a handsome fellow and he and Mel hate each other instantly, which is apparently super hot(???) and leads to much kinkiness. Sorry, did you say there was a plot somewhere?
I mean, she's cynical and hot-headed, and he's super rich, so naturally they hate each other. Because, ew, a rich man, and ew, a woman who doesn't take shit. So naturally he forces himself on her and they have this super passionate kiss that definitely doesn't mean anything to either of them because, DUH, they hate each other!
I'm not even going to go into how much I hated the blatant sexism in this book. Or the same old, dude-forces-himself-on-girl-but-it's-totally-okay-because-she-kinda-likes-it BS. Not touching it. I will only get more mad and if this is what counts for romance these days I will continue to spurn the genre. Mel might actually have been okay if her tough talk matched her actions.
But the story is just so pathetic. The mystery of the missing child is solved early on, and then it just goes straight into Mel and Seb getting it on and hating on each other while they screw each other into 'melted flesh'. Or something. I'll be honest - I was skimming pretty heavily by this stage.
But of course there is more detective work to be done and the only way they can possibly detect is to pretend they're married. Because who needs his amazing psychic talents when you can just play pretend, right?
What utter rubbish.
Look, I'm not a romance reader so I can't really tell you if this is good romance or not. I can tell you it definitely didn't work for me (and I was totally generous about the last kinky romance I encountered). I can tell you there is an overuse of the word 'sexy' in the first 100 pages or so, and that if a man treated me the way this guy treats Mel initially I'd have kicked him in the balls so hard he'd never have to worry about his kids getting kidnapped, if you follow me.
Honestly, I'm proud of getting through as much of it as I did, and so grateful it was small pages with big text and easy to skim. If there'd been more on the paranormal side of things without it being turned into kinky sh*t maybe I'd have put more effort in, but that male lead was a total d*ck and the world has too many good books for me to waste more valuable reading time on trash like this.
Where do I even begin with how terrible this book is?
I'm going to apologise right now to the author, because I'm not gonna be softeninSWEET JEEZUZ.
Where do I even begin with how terrible this book is?
I'm going to apologise right now to the author, because I'm not gonna be softening the blows here.
I mean, this is one of those things that might be GOOD simply because it's SO BAD.
I can't deny how immense my amusement was reading god-awful paragraphs of violence and gore and nonsense (see notes and highlights for examples).
The plot is basically a bunch of people dying under mysterious (supernatural) circumstances. It was hard to see how everything was related at first, and it was all pretty damn messy. People disappearing then turning up dead, mutilated bodies being found, psychic visions ... the plot was messier than that guy who had been skinned in chunks. There's a poor snake that is considered a suspect briefly because one dude is found with claw marks inside his throat?! I mean, how ...?!! *sigh*
There's also this bizarre overuse of full names? Everyone is so formal and full names are used on a regular basis. Erin Cross is almost never referred to as Erin, or Kyle's mother, or even 'she'. And I STILL couldn't keep track of who everyone was. But, to be fair, I skimmed a LOT. It was necessary. Unlike half of this book's words.
We've got play-by-play of pretty much every scene, and it's boring details. A lot of superfluous stuff and endless sentences with poor grammar. The style jumps around a bit which would be okay if it was done cleverly or even just clean but instead it adds to the messiness of the overall story.
The supernatural element is intriguing because the villain is so bizarre, but the psychic visions and the 'she just had a hunch/feeling/knowing' etc were ridiculous and painful.
Then you've got your basic continuity errors (eg: 'a single tear rolled down her face' followed closely by, 'she wiped the tears from her eyes') and pointless repetition (eg: 'she closed her laptop shut' ... 'grabbed her closed laptop' ... 'with her laptop under her arm' all in the same paragraph) and paragraphs of meaningless drivel and it's basically crying out for an editor. I had to choose between laughing or crying over this mess.
There's a unique monster here, but the story itself needs a lot of work to be readable. Then again, maybe I'm just still bitter about that one time I wrote a story that started with, 'They called him the Cat Skinner ...' which basically went downhill from there and my English teacher only gave me a C for it. THAT WAS LITERARY GOLD GODDAMMIT AND THIS GUY TOTALLY STOLE MY IDEA.
This is a satirical feminist novel that spends a lot of time trying (and failing) to be witty.
The story follows Girl as she begiWhat absolute rubbish.
This is a satirical feminist novel that spends a lot of time trying (and failing) to be witty.
The story follows Girl as she begins a job working for Guy doing ... something related to feminism. Honestly, the whole thing is impossible to follow but the gist is basically that men are scumbags and corporate women are also scumbags and even female refugees are scumbags. What. The actual. F**k.
There are so many parts of this story that are seriously messed up, but then other scenes are just stereotypical. Like, it's clearly satire and that's why our feminist heroine is named Girl but also where is the satire when you've just re-written common sexist tropes with no cleverness?
Also there's a bunch of stuff at the start involving her 14yr old brother joining her to visit a strip joint (with a Scumbag, of course) which really confused me.
This is an absolute trainwreck of a book.
Clearly it's trying to be clever and witty and feminist but it fails tragically at all of these things and will leave you wondering what the heck just happened....more
So this is clearly another one of those ridiculous books where people fall in love with boys who are complete jerks. I DO NOT GET IT.
Yes, they all havSo this is clearly another one of those ridiculous books where people fall in love with boys who are complete jerks. I DO NOT GET IT.
Yes, they all have tragic stories, and you kinda feel sorry for them a bit. But there is just so much angst and bad behaviour and the only thing tying it all together was this dumb made up sport (it's made up, right?! Please tell me it's made up) that I just did not give a single french fry about.
I listened to it and found myself speeding it up so that I could get through it all faster.
I loathe all of these characters.
That's all I have to say at this point in time....more
This book is just weird and hard to follow and completely random. Also, Lucy is kind of a d*ck.
It's basically the coming-ofDude.
What the french fries.
This book is just weird and hard to follow and completely random. Also, Lucy is kind of a d*ck.
It's basically the coming-of-age story of an Irish brat who constantly shirks responsibility, is horrible to her family, is constantly miserable and throwing tantrums, and lies to get what she wants. Honestly she's just not a nice person.
It's also told in such a scattered way that it takes a minute to properly understand what's happened, what's happening, and what has yet to happen. (view spoiler)[The dude on the bus took me a bit to figure out coz the box was on his 'knee'? I was thinking, 'what, is he scratching his knee? Does he have an animal at his feet? What is happening right now?' Also, there's a lot of perverted sexual stuff for a story that seems to rush past everything else. (hide spoiler)] I had zero attachment because I couldn't really keep up with the barrage of activity, though I did understand enough to feel sorry for this girl's parents.
As someone who has profound respect for my parents I was pretty appalled by the way Lucy acted and that never really changed. I don't understand why there was the whole ordeal of her failing eyesight because even that wasn't really explored enough for me to feel sorry for her. There was no character growth, there was no apparent depth to her and there was no point of redemption. I think it tried to do all those things but the writing was so terrible it never made its mark on me.
Also, this is another one of those horrible blurbs that alludes to stuff that doesn't even happen til the last 50 pages or so, so don't hold your breath for the story here.
Thankfully it was a short read because my attention span couldn't have lasted much longer with this one....more
For a book that promises four deaths, it's actually really slow and dull and repetitive and so, so shallYeahhhh NO.
I just was not feeling this at all.
For a book that promises four deaths, it's actually really slow and dull and repetitive and so, so shallow.
I am disappointed.
Summary: A plot involving the assassination of all four queens can only be unravelled by a humble thief with a heart of gold and her trusty love interest from the other side of the tracks.
My Issues: -Characters are dull -Kind of predictable -Super, super preachy -Shallow -Cheesier than a block of cheddar -All the best bits didn't even rate
Characters Keralie is our skilled thief, and so damn proud of it. Don't ask her if she wants to be better. Because she doesn't. Or does she? But honestly no. Because she's a really good thief. But maybe she wants to be more? But no, because she doesn't. Even though she's actually a decent person and doesn't want the queens dead. She's still a criminal. She loves being a criminal. Why would she want to be anything else? She definitely doesn't. Except that maybe she does? THIS GOES ON FOR THE ENTIRE BOOK AND IT WAS SO PAINFUL.
Varin is our straight-edged soldier type who doesn't know how to feel because in his quadrant they train feelings out of you. I mean clearly his training wasn't great because he's leaking feelings all over the place and Keralie is there to CONSTANTLY remind him that feelings are great and, by the way, Varin, have I ever told you how important it is to feel things? Even the bad things? Because feelings are super important. THANKS KERALIE WE GOT IT THE FIRST THOUSAND TIMES YOU SAID IT. How this guy manages to put up with her through the entire book is a mystery to me.
Mackiel, the 'villain' of the piece, is pretty mediocre as far as bad guys go. He never really gets one over on Keralie - she's so smart and skilled she's constantly outfoxing him. Don't get me wrong, though - he's definitely still a douchebag. Just ... boring.
No other characters are really worth mentioning, except I will say that I wish Iris had stuck around a little longer because she seemed to be like the only decent character in this whole mess.
Predictable Firstly, the queens don't die too quickly but with it in the damn TITLE you know it's coming so it's pretty easy to predict four murders. Keralie and Varin had me cringing from the time they met, and it was pretty easy to envision how their entire relationship would play out. The mystery of who is behind the assassination plot was a little intriguing but there were not enough clues or even drama to make it particularly enticing, and even still it got a little predictable. I just felt next to nothing reading this, except bored and embarrassed.
Preachy Keralie is a fkn NIGHTMARE. She does not stop talking about the importance of feelings, and being true to yourself, and how the world needs to just get along. Surely there is something more than all these rules of segregation? *eyeroll* This is not new territory and I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: Divergent did it a lot better.
Shallow and Cheesy I think the takeaway message from this book is that you have to appreciate all of your feelings because they are all important. Also be true to yourself. YOU decide who you want to be, not friends, family or the government. Also love is the most important feeling of all aaaaand excuse me while my lunch revisits. Could this get any cheesier? I have encountered these themes and messages before and, yes, sure, they are all important, but the way it was delivered here was just so lame. It felt like there was a lot more that could have been talked about and instead it wasted all its time on feelings and tropes that have already been done a thousand times. Take out the murder and this is more of a middle-grade kinda story.
RIP Best Bits Firstly, these queens have So. Many. Secrets. but they're totally brushed over? I want all the scandals and intrigue! I want drama! I want action! I want screaming and crying and lying and backstabbing and ... *sigh* These poor queens were so hard done by. I mean, isn't it enough that they all die in the title? Second, the tech quadrant is focused on perfection but it's not being called out? Oh but who cares right because Varin is from there so he's totally dreamy. *eyeroll* I mean it just seemed like half the time spent preaching about feelings could have gone towards the debate over what exactly constitutes perfection and how our flaws are what make us unique. Also science vs messing with nature. Dr Ian Malcolm would have some interesting thoughts for these guys I bet. Third, the dramatic finale was pretty underwhelming. Keralie just gets out of everything so easy and it was all over so fast. Yawn. And just to top it all off, the world building was pretty terrible in general. The history is whack, the separation is whack, the rules are whack ... so disappointing. There could have been so much more done with this, but it's just accepted? It's like she was trying to keep it short and unattached but it means the story just doesn't have enough depth.
The queens were the true heroes of this book and they all got bloody murdered didn't they. So we're stuck with stupid preaching Keralie and her perfect robot boyfriend instead. THIS WAS NOT A FUN TIME.
On the plus side, it seems to be a standalone....more
Ingredients: 1 Peasant girl 1 Grumpy mentor 1 Sidekick 1 handful random royalty (Include a daring prince who is actually a jerk fA Recipe For Disaster
Ingredients: 1 Peasant girl 1 Grumpy mentor 1 Sidekick 1 handful random royalty (Include a daring prince who is actually a jerk for extra zest) 2 buckets of superiority complex 1 sprinkling of monsters Approx. 6 cartloads of magic and spells 1 Evil Wood (Make sure it's definitely evil. Super dooper evil.)
Method: 1. Don't even worry about it. Just smoosh it all together and see what happens 2. If it seems too bland, add more spells. Then more. Then a little more.And then more to garnish. 3. If it still seems tasteless, mix the monsters and the royalty, add some blood. And more spells. 4. Oh yeah don't forget the sidekick. I don't know what it does, but throw it in anyway 5. Bake it. Freeze it. Mix it. Bake it. Fry it. Refrigerate. Bake it again. JUST KEEP COOKING IT. FOREVER. 6. Don't forget to throw the buckets of superiority over the whole mess
Serving Suggestion: Don't.
So I guess you could say this book didn't really work for me.
Bonus star for the mantises though.
Full list of complaints: (view spoiler)[ - The ROMANCE. The Dragon is over 100 years but because 'he looks almost my age, super cute, what are the chances?' she's totally DTF. HE'S OLDER THAN YOUR GRANDPARENTS, KID. It made me want to throw up in my mouth a little. -The Dragon himself should have been so awesome with a name like that but he's RUDE and a JERK and STUFFY and he totally acts like a crotchety old man so despite him being 'oh so handsome' I kept picturing him like Merlin from Disney's The Sword in the Stone. Only in appearance, though, coz Merlin was actually cool. - Kasia. WHAT IS THE POINT OF HER. At first I thought it was going to be a lesbian love angle but it just ended up being ... oh she's a badass and so much stronger and braver than Agniz (I'm not even going to attempt to spell her name. I just mentally called her Agniz - it was easier) but OH WAIT LOOK AGNIZ IS A BADASS AFTER ALL, SUCK IT, KASIA! But wait she's my BFF and I will do anything for her ... I mean it was just so frustratingly pointless. I cared nothing for Kasia. I was ready for her to be left in the wood to rot. - The Wood is so full of evil things, and this world is full of monsters, but we get such a small taste of them. Instead the evil wood just inhabits people and makes them do bad things. The mantises were so cool because finally we got some carnage, we got to see the evil actually being properly evil, and it was such a relief. But otherwise, considering the evil of the wood I just was not impressed. - The entire story goes on for way too long. Journeys here and there, overnight stays, more journeys, carts, wagons, horses ... DON'T CARE. Don't even get me started on the pointlessness of her going to court and making nice with nobles. It was stretched out so much, and it just seemed to want to cram in as many fantasy references as possible. Honestly, it was a mess. - The cheesy layering of characters was a bit much. I'm all for grey characters in my stories, but you get the prince to attempt rape on the MC and then turn around and try to tell me how he's just a poor broken soul who wants his mamma and I'm gonna struggle with that. JUST LET ME HATE HIM FFS. It just kept trying to put the 'I am a good person who sees the good in everyone' spin on EVERYTHING and it just ... mellows everything. It takes away the fun. - Wow how amazing is it that Agniz, this one-woman disaster, suddenly becomes this all-powerful wizard who is more powerful than all of the wizards who have been doing spells for centuries? SO BELIEVABLE. -EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK MADE ME MAD. (Except the mantises. You're excused.) -Basically it's boring, when it shouldn't be, and I hated ALL the characters, and the whole thing hinges on an evil wood that basically just needs a hug. -I'M DONE. (hide spoiler)]...more
'The more time you have spent in spirit form, the more difficulty you may find being in a human body. Many oDNF @ 40%
This is where I gave up entirely:
'The more time you have spent in spirit form, the more difficulty you may find being in a human body. Many of us have incarnated on other planets where third-dimensional laws just don't exist. This is one reason why we may feel heavy,uncomfortable and trapped in our physical bodies, using food and other substances to keep ourselves grounded.'
Incarnated on other planets? Really???
I mean, I actually believe in reincarnation. I like the idea that our souls return to this world in different forms. But throw in interplanetary reincarnation and you've entirely lost me.
That was my problem with this whole book. I enjoy reading about ways to open the mind and connect with the soul, but this just took things way too far for me. It's also kind of negative?? It always starts with, 'we are all doing X terrible thing so instead we need to do this other good thing.' It comes across as very superior.
My expectation:Here are some ways that we as women can connect to our souls, which will connect us to one another and allow us to become more powerful beings.
What I got:I was living a pointless life until I had a profound spiritual awakening and now that gives me the right to tell you that everything you are doing is wrong. Here's a bunch of random abstract ideas you can worship to get you on the right path.
WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS FOUL, ANGRY LANGUAGE. (WITH S**RS)
I'm just
SO.
F**KING.
CONFUSED.
WHAT THE FLIPPIN' HECK DID I JUST READ.
Honestly.
AlWARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS FOUL, ANGRY LANGUAGE. (WITH S**RS)
I'm just
SO.
F**KING.
CONFUSED.
WHAT THE FLIPPIN' HECK DID I JUST READ.
Honestly.
Alternative titles: One Hundred Years of Reading You'll Never Get Back One Hundred Years of Your LIFE You'll Never Get Back Four Hundred and Twenty Two Pages of Monotony Fifty Thousand Mentions of Two Names A Cure for Insomnia
F**K THAT.
This is like ... you know how there's those jokes that go on and on and on and ON only to deliver a punch line that is so bad and unworthy that you just roll your eyes and groan?? THIS IS THAT.
I can't even deal with the fact that there are people in the world who LOVE this book.
Basically, it's about generation after generation after generation of the same family who all share the same name and it is F**KING CONFUSING. I know that's intentional and symbolic but it doesn't make this any less of a chore to read. It's also just walls of text from start to finish that meander and bumble along making very little sense. There's no flow or logic and it's all clearly intentional but that really doesn't help its case in my mind.JUST BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE DULL AND MONOTONOUS DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO ENJOY READING THAT.
Add to that, the family is one heck of a f**ked up family and BATSH*T INSANE and it's JUST A MESS.
It practically begins with incest and keeps it up the whole way through; there's prostitution and murder and insanity and just basically everything that is wrong with the world can be found in this most disturbing book. 'Magical realism'?? I mean, what the f**k does that even mean?? How the ... f**king REALISM??? WTF???? And normally I don't mind a bit of f**ked up to keep things interesting but how can any book possibly include this much murder and depravity and STILL BE BORING??
Honestly, I feel like I need to Google to properly understand why so much depravity was included and why it's considered to be such genius, because sure, the ending is a little clever but it's certainly not enough to make up for wading through over 400 pages of this utter trash.
I just don't get it.
Clearly my IQ is too low for this "Masterpiece of Literature"; this book is officially the most overrated classic I've ever read in my life.
I hated it so much I tried to make it a group read so I could share the pain and torture XD I AM A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING.
Conclusion: I did not like this book very much....more
(WARNING: The following review contains swearing.)
I CAN'T DO IT.
There is enough hate in the world without sitting through another 15DNF @ pg 173 (55%)
(WARNING: The following review contains swearing.)
I CAN'T DO IT.
There is enough hate in the world without sitting through another 150 pages of this bitter, sarcastic tirade.
She raises some solid, important points, but it's so thickly buried in sarcasm and vulgarity and anger that I just can't deal with it.
Which is REALLY DISAPPOINTING because what she's trying to say IS FKING IMPORTANT but she's so busy ranting about how the amount of trouble men have caused for her has opened her eyes to how much trouble ALL WOMEN suffer because of ALL MEN that there's just no space for contemplation and reasoning out your own conclusions.
Like I get that the title is suggestive of her coming out swinging but JEEZUZ.
Feminism is a valid movement, but as long as it continues to be fronted by bitter, angry people it will always be difficult for people to take it seriously. We need rational, calm people stepping up and making their points bravely, honestly, and with integrity.
I'm not anti-feminist; I'm not siding with males because I want them to like me, and I'm not selfishly oblivious to the plights of women around the world. I know that women are often subjected to the vile behaviours of entitled men and I have experienced degradation at the hands of men so I FKING GET IT.
But hate and violence is not going to win this war.
I'm so saddened by how visceral my reaction to this book has been. I believe the message 100%, but the delivery is going to alienate a lot of well-meaning people.
I'm done.
My heart hurts.
This was book 19 of my #Dymocks52Challenge refined. You can read more here....more
Aaaaand we’re back to trash again. I’m so confused about the timeline of these two series. Wasn’t she locked up for a couple years? How did I skip an Aaaaand we’re back to trash again. I’m so confused about the timeline of these two series. Wasn’t she locked up for a couple years? How did I skip an entire novel and still miss only a week of this girl’s tragically petty life? Thank god I have no more of these lying around. I’m so done.
So all the fun stuff about psycho Ariana has dropped out of sight and we’re back with a clone of pathetic, naïve Reed from the first series. They could be the same person, as Ariana has taken over the role of the desperate one that will do anything for her ‘friends’. Did I mention she’s only known these people for a week? It also seems she’s fallen in love in that time (no mention of the guy from LAST WEEK that she fell in love with in the first book, btw – what the hell happened in that second book, I wonder?) but she’s still willing to mess with him if it means being BFFs with the cool kids.
The added element of the psycho bitch would maybe be okay if Ariana wasn’t supposed to be equally crazy herself. Instead of seeing a psychopath showdown, Ariana is submissive and scared, feeble and whiny; hardly the loon that made the first book actually interesting. Massive disappointment. Instead of being an edgy thriller set in the private school world, it’s just the same ridiculous teen drama of what to wear and who to date and how to get in with the popular kids. Yawn.
Once again there’s way too many plot holes that are glossed over, like the fact that cops should be working a little harder at solving the messes that occurred in the first book. The very terrible excuses that are given to reason away the most ridiculous crap. And the fact that her entire past is basically ignored. But you know, at least the story’s set at a fancy school again with lots of pretty people. *eyeroll*
The last straw for me was about 150 pages in: Kaitlynn is suddenly called Kaitlynn by one of the other girls who know her only as Lillian and I cannot overlook such an embarrassing continuity error. Not just once, either. Nice. If the author can’t even keep something like that straight, how the hell are we supposed to believe the deception? I am so done.
Absolute rubbish from start to finish. Honestly, who reads this crap? Go for a walk or something. Your brain cells will thank you....more
So this is a homosexual sausage fest filled with rape and awkward sexual tension and not a whole lot of anything else. There is no story. The plot is So this is a homosexual sausage fest filled with rape and awkward sexual tension and not a whole lot of anything else. There is no story. The plot is so thin you can see through it. This is all about the relationship between Damen and Laurent and it tries way too hard to pretend it's not. If I could give minus-stars this would take them all.
Where do I even begin with why I hated this book? I am by no means homophobic but I have zero interest in reading a book that is filled with monotonous M/M action and nothing else - at least be a little bit creative! I get that it's all explained away by 'customs' but there are maybe three female characters and they're only mentioned briefly and inadequately. If you're going to have a predominantly male cast the few females that do appear need to be strong characters. Or at least give us some decent characterisation and variety among the men.
The nature of the 'customs' is deeply disturbing as it's glorified molestation, with young, beautiful boys being used as 'pleasure slaves' by old, corrupt men, but the sickest part is that the reader is supposed to believe that these boys actually enjoy their slavery. The author does not explore the depths of exploitation; we're just supposed to go along with it. Their gladiatorial games are public rape. Their sport is screwing each other and watching everyone else do the same. There's no end to the depth of their depravity and the author fails to explore this properly, opting instead to focus on the awkward sexual tension between the two main characters. I am okay with dark themes but you need to give me proper justification for them and do them justice.
It's obvious this entire series is about how two enemies become lovers but after reading just this one I'm going to assume the journey through the last two is just as nonsensical as this. I think it's fair to say that, in this book, nothing really happened. It's vulgar and depraved and there's sexual tension on almost every single page but there is no actual decent plot. It's the stereotypical Uncle Scar trying to keep Simba from claiming the throne. Only the unlikely allies Timon and Pumbaa are one person who is full of angst and confused feelings for Simba and spends so much time love/hating the guy that there's no room for actual logical thought. They bathe a lot. They talk about sex a lot. They banter a lot. But there is no deeper characterisation, no deeper contemplation or slowly changing feelings. The changes when they come are awkward and yet completely unsurprising. It's built on cliches and relies too heavily on literature in general to fill in the blanks. There's no originality, no surprise twists or unexpected developments. In fact, there is basically no story progression until the last few chapters. It's an absolute nightmare.
Why is this book popular? I can only imagine that the same people who enjoyed this are the same who loved Fifty Shades of Grey and defend its heinous writing. People who care little about actual plot so long as there's plenty of sex, lingering gazes and charged up body contact. This should definitely be classified as MM romance more than fantasy, which was a massive disappointment for me. I clearly misunderstood the blurb and was expecting an epic fantasy series so getting this trash was quite a blow.
My personal opinion is that this should be avoided by lovers of literature at all costs. It bothers me immensely that someone can write something like this and actually be applauded for it. I'm gonna need like a hundred scalding hot showers to scrub this filth away....more
Do you ever go on a book buying binge where you look for cheap stuff and kinda only half-read the blurb, and then when it actually arrives you realDo you ever go on a book buying binge where you look for cheap stuff and kinda only half-read the blurb, and then when it actually arrives you realise you accidentally bought erotica?
That's what happened to me here.
Let me be very clear: I DON'T ENJOY EROTICA. So naturally this is not going to be a nice review. So if you read and loved this book I highly suggest you read no further.
Anyhoo, so the blurb gave me the impression I was buying this fantasy thriller about a girl in the jungle who bumps into a bunch of were-leopards. I figured there would be a cool jungle setting, action sequences, animals facing off, and wereleopards savaging people to save our heroine.
What did I get? BREASTS.
No, not beasts. (I wish). BREASTS.
It did not take me long to figure out I was reading the wrong genre and, I'll admit, I continued reading longer than normal for the sake of curiosity. But it's all breasts and suckling and squeezing and ...??? Like, do you not have many adjectives in your pocket? Or synonyms? Or even adventurous positions?? Do people really enjoy this stuff? It was so cheesy and repetitive and there was no story? Isn't there still supposed to be a story???!
I mean, I was cringing HARD.
Obviously this was a DNF for me but I don't recall where I gave up, because I flicked through and read random bits to see if the vibe changed at all. But it's basically a woman and a leopard-man sucking, squeezing and stroking each other's bits and talking about their animal magnetism THE WHOLE TIME. *shudder*
I need a shower.
On the plus side, I've learned my lesson about binge-buying books without properly reading the blurb. ...more
What an utter load of crap. No idea what the target audience is here because the storyline is simple and feels more appropriate for the tween market, What an utter load of crap. No idea what the target audience is here because the storyline is simple and feels more appropriate for the tween market, but there's far too much blunt swearing, vulgar, sexual language and generally promiscuous behaviour for that! It's no original idea - it's 'American Idol' written from the viewpoint of a contestant, only with a far less interesting back story and way too much cliched, love triangle romance. I am ashamed to share a name with this main character - she's conceited, written to be perfect which comes across instead as unlikeable and annoying. There's also zero reasoning as to why she has such a lack of self-control when it comes to her friend's boyfriend, aside from the terrible fact that 'he's so dreamy'. Every single character has been stolen from somewhere, and the story is so incredibly shallow that there is just nothing to hold the interest. Katie Price writes like a horny teenager with the English skills of a thirteen year-old. I have no idea who this drivel will appeal to, but I have to be honest, this did hit the DNF pile after only 90 pages. It was that or beat my head against a wall repeatedly....more
You know what? Nora Roberts should just stick to romance instead of tainting my beloved crime genre with this drivel.
Too much sex/'romance'. Too many cYou know what? Nora Roberts should just stick to romance instead of tainting my beloved crime genre with this drivel.
Too much sex/'romance'. Too many cliches. Too many stereotypes. Pathetic 'crime' storyline. Terrible use of a futuristic setting. Very little actual story.
Plus how exactly does one 'philosophically' remove a cat from one's leg?...more
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