This book was recommended by a Seventh-day Adventist online friend who has herself written memoirs and was enjoying this one.
I read the book aloud becThis book was recommended by a Seventh-day Adventist online friend who has herself written memoirs and was enjoying this one.
I read the book aloud because my husband also wanted to read it, but had had recent cataract-removals and was experiencing something like blindness. (I am happy to say that that has resolved).
I am a sort-of Seventh-day Adventist, but closer to the age of the author's parents, and I did not grow up in an Adventist home or culture. My husband converted to Adventism via listening to the 'Voice of Prophecy' on KARI radio (Washington state), completing a number of Bible studies, and attending a series of evangelistic outreaches. In 1971 he was baptized. I was married to him throughout this experience but did not really become interested in the religion for over 20 years. Then I was baptized and became a Church member in the early 1990s, and by 2017 we had discontinued attending our local Church because of an emotionally-spiritually shattering experience-- or maybe just the final notes following a lengthy period of cruscendo. In any case, we are ''still on the books" as members, and have many SDA friends, have a connection with an online Adventist Church (with a woman pastor), and are involved with the "progressive'' Adventist community that presents a weekly livestream-ZOOM ''Sabbath Seminar'' This is all to say that we did not grow up in the Adventist faith or culture so have a different set of experiences and family relationship dynamics than Matthew Vollmer, but we can relate to his appreciation and love for his unconditionally loving parents and his conflicting inability to share their Adventist Christian beliefs. My husband and I diverge somewhat from each other, so I will attempt *not to tell his story.*
You can read a lot of what the book is like in the reviews above. We enjoyed it-- it was very well-written and moved along at a just-right pace. I was a little sceptical about the way he presented his parents as having been so very accepting, affirming, etc., in spite of their differences of belief. I do not think I have come across that very often in Christian families, or Adventist families especially. We also went through this dilemma with our own children, neither of whom is Adventist. As we ourselves have stepped back from being heavily involved in *the life of the Church* (that is, having served in several capacities over the years, such as Head Elder (my husband) and Sabbath School teacher (my husband), Women's Ministries, children's classes, and ad hoc social support roles (I was a social worker in my work life), we have been able to see how our kids are basically good, decent, respectful, kind, insightful, spiritually-tuned-in folks with their share of healthy relationships and points of view. Perhaps that is where Vollmer's parents arrived as well, and the unconditional love came from a place of recognizing that their adult children were responsible children of God, on a journey-- maybe not the same as theirs, denominationally, but none-the-less living out the Christian values that they had been brought up with.
This book made me think about family relationships. Like I read in one of the other reviews, I also feel some regret that we didn't have the closeness and non-combative experience of growing up and nurturing relationships with parents that Matthew appears to have had. I am happy to say that I feel that I am on a very positive journey now in getting to know more about Jesus of Nazarath and to look at a relationship with Him and others in a slightly different way than I did when I was immersed in the drama and doctrine of the religion. I generally feel more peaceful and authentic to myself.
Matthew Vollmer offers insights and honest reflections that are refreshing to read in contrast to some of the formulaic memoirs by persons of faith-- not that I read any of those any more. ...more
A comprehensive text by the Brain Docs, Dr. Dean and Ayesha Sherzai, covering a definition of Alzheimers, and ways to prevent and delay cognitive declA comprehensive text by the Brain Docs, Dr. Dean and Ayesha Sherzai, covering a definition of Alzheimers, and ways to prevent and delay cognitive decline with Lifestyle Medicine.
As persons in their 70s with family members who have gone before us to experience the horrors of cognitive decline and dementia, we were anxious to learn more about how we could prevent this fate ourselves (and for our adult children).
The book is clearly written and works well as a read aloud book, which is what we did since Ed has recently had eye surgery and does not have clear eyesight in one of his eyes.
We also joined in with the NEURO Academy Community for a few months but were dealing with several other tasks and felt that we needed to withdraw from an online community and focus on what we had learned and our nearby neighbors, our family, etc. Since the community involvement and reading the book we have both spent the first weeks of 2024 learning and refreshing in languages other than English (German for me, and German-French and Spanish for Ed). We have also begun to build meditations into our life, for stress release, and even to help overcome difficult situations (like illness). This is a very positive experience. We eat a plant-based diet, and have been exercising and making plans for other brain-growing-and-nururing experiences.
We recommend the book and the Sherzai community NEURO Academy....more
A great book that Ed and I read together. James Clear describes 'atomic habits' as tiny changes with remarkable results. He provides a system to buildA great book that Ed and I read together. James Clear describes 'atomic habits' as tiny changes with remarkable results. He provides a system to build good habits and break the bad ones.
Ed and I are both doing daily Duolingo, and I'm using other ways to grow my German language proficiency toward a possible trip in 2025 to Deutschland. We also have a few other habits to tackle and will bring to force the full power of "Atomic Habits" to accomplish that.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, reading it at the same time as a couple of "self-improvement" books. It was my bedtime and early morning read.
FascinaI thoroughly enjoyed this book, reading it at the same time as a couple of "self-improvement" books. It was my bedtime and early morning read.
Fascinating life. Lots of daunting abuse in his 'crazy' family background. And neglect. And mental illnesses down the generations. It seems to have imbued him with a lot of empathy and caring for people with mental illness AKA his patients.
This is another of my #newyearbookreads to get a more positive slant on life and to introduce a little complexity where there is currently a lot of convenience and laziness.
I recommend this book for its humanity and the kindness that runs through it along with the more gritty details.
Ed was going in to get a cataract operation around the time we started this book and so I read it aloud and we had some good discussions. It was a folEd was going in to get a cataract operation around the time we started this book and so I read it aloud and we had some good discussions. It was a follow-up to the "Atomic Habits" book, which I also read aloud, and two up from "The Alzheimers Solution" by the Drs. Sherzai. These are all books we are interested in from a perspective of aging and the New Year.
I wrote a longer review of the Blue Zones on Hubpages at http://hub.me/aqwRc
It is an older book (this second edition was published in 2012) but still relevant. You can also watch it on Netflix....more
Tara Sidhoo Fraser writes a fascinating, understandable memoir about a topic-- reintegration with her wounded self, the font of most of her pre-strokeTara Sidhoo Fraser writes a fascinating, understandable memoir about a topic-- reintegration with her wounded self, the font of most of her pre-stroke memories-- that takes immense courage and an ability to see herself as lovable, loving, and worthy of human agency.
This book is a love story. The writer demonstrates love and gratitude on every page, for every person who plays a role in her life. In no instance does she come across as smarmy or inauthentic, but rather she gives life to the phrase "no judgment" that we hear bandied about so often these days. The important people in her recovery from a stroke are the people who have shown love, ambivalence, and sometimes, frustration, but whom Sidhoo Fraser honours for the love that underlines all else. Her mother (known as "Mama") is gentle, present, and affirmative throughout. Her father, "John", is not present during a long stretch of her life, but is not castigated for that, and is labeled "a good father" by Mama, which Sidhoo Fraser accepts. She also paints both of the lovers in the story as kind and loving.
Sidhoo Fraser's relationship with her pre-stroke self-- her Ghost-- is the most dramatic and complex relationship sustained throughout the story. I am pretty sure that most, and likely all, readers will reflect on her description of her alter ego way beyond finishing the book. ...more
Since I have been reading a lot of memoirs over the past few years, I have been, seemingly, focused on relationships, particularly how family relationSince I have been reading a lot of memoirs over the past few years, I have been, seemingly, focused on relationships, particularly how family relationships serve or fail to show caring and /or protect(?) the person writing the story.
The narrator of "The Dutch House" is a man (Tom Hanks does a delightful Audible Book performance) although the author, Ann Patchett is not. Tom Hanks does a commendable job of making the male and female characters distinguishable not by employing any "female" voice (a falsetto for example?) which I very much enjoyed and marveled at. He used virtually the same voice tone throughout for both the main narrator and his sister. The author's dialogue provided the distinguishment in who was speaking. So subtle and so grand.
The story is award-winning in its scope and complexity, as well as in its wonderful story-telling. Lots of dialogue, and time travel in the lives of the characters, and the very interesting way in which philosophy and psychology (mostly psychology) are woven through the story.
And the all the 'screens' of family configuration are amazing and MUST be examined in some detail to see how they fit in with the rest of the larger story.
So, instead of a slightly morose story about a woman who abandons her young children and how they never have a decent life as a result of the trauma, etc., you have a story of a colony of care-givers and misanthropes, and because the misanthropes are not the bosses, the caring, loving characters successfully conspire to support the life of the boy at the centre, and his diabetic sister, so that eventually, the good really does implode and neutralize (adopt even-- you have to read this) the less kind characters.
I am sure that this book is a very good read, but I really really loved Tom Hanks reading it to me.
If you have ever wished you could go back to your own childhood or even see what your most memorable family home looks like now, etc., you will love how Patchett allows the characters to do that. And sometimes "happy endings" are formulaic and quite disappointing-- but this happy ending is weird and wonderful....more
I remember the author of the memoirs "Run Towards The Danger" as a delicate, fair-haired little girl in the CBC's "Road To Avonlea" although I have liI remember the author of the memoirs "Run Towards The Danger" as a delicate, fair-haired little girl in the CBC's "Road To Avonlea" although I have little recollection of ever having watched the program itself. I picked up the book with interest only as far as reading something while waiting for some books that I had on order.
What a pleasant surprise!
Polley writes about her life in a series of fascinating essays, each 'stand-alone'. She gains the reader's sympathy for the child actor (child laborer, as she often refers to herself) who lived in a filthy home with a latently pedophile father who smoked and watched TV all the time following the death with cancer of his wife, Polley's mother. In stark contrast to what many believe must be a fun, fairy-tale life as a child actor-- a 'star' in Canada-- Polley describes the grim details of her young life as including the painful experiences of scoliosis and her mother's early death, and the loneliness of pulling oneself up by the boot straps.
Her father appears to be most emotionally involved with her when they both watch (repeatedly) the movie "Dreamland" about the relationship between Charles Dodgson and Alice Liddell (Lewis Carroll and Alice of Alice in Wonderland). Michael Polley feels most empathy for the unrequited necessity of the "love" between Dodgson and the young Alice. Sarah Polley, like most young children, adopts the parent's point of view and grows up believing that Alice was cold and selfish. She takes this point of view with her into her role as Alice at the 1994 Stratford Festival production of "Alice Through the Looking Glass." At that time, she began to see Alice as the "victim" and not Dodgson. This was a turning point in her life as an adolescent with little agency in her work life.
Another essay in the book deals with Polley's having been one of several "alleged" victims of the CBC talk show host Jian Ghomesky's sexual assaults. This was a particularly interesting piece of writing dealing mostly with the impacts for victims of assault "coming forward" to report an assault with others. I do not want to spoil the read for you.
The last essay in the book is about Polley's experience with brain injury and how that affected her parenting, her work, her ability to function in general, and how it was finally resolved.
Polley had a negative experience with the movie and TV industry as a child and adolescent. This segment of the book reminds me quite a lot about the book about Hayley Mills, a British child actor whose story, Forever Young, I read and reported on just before this one. Polley described the way young key actors are coddled and simultaneously, traumatized by being expected to deal with emotional experiences beyond their stage of development. Both Polley and Mills refer to very dangerous situations in their work (as well as working much longer hours than covered by legislation) that showed how insensitive and irresponsible were the adults "in charge" of their care while they worked. Polley speaks about how she discourages parents from suggesting their children work in the 'business'. She mentions that individuals with a "stage parent" POV will not hear what she recommends and will often just go ahead with the idea that their 'talented' child "loves" acting and will do whatever they can to get them into the business.
There is so much wisdom, compassion and empathy in this book that anyone reading it will have their cup filled....more
This is a fat, academic-standard biography by Caroline Fraser about one of my favorite childhood writers, Laura Ingalls Wilder. When I was in third grThis is a fat, academic-standard biography by Caroline Fraser about one of my favorite childhood writers, Laura Ingalls Wilder. When I was in third grade the teacher, Mrs. Kathleen Turtle, read a chapter out of one of Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House" books after lunch each day. I likely checked the books out of the library since I do not recall owning any of her books. But she definitely left an impression.
I recall sitting in my desk and relaxing, just letting my mind follow the story set on the prairie in the USA, like our prairies in Canada, to which, as a Saskatchewan rural farmgirl, I could relate. I day-dreamed about my maternal grandmother as a child because she had actually been born in North Dakota, coming up to Saskatchewan "in the Early Days" with her parents and eight of her siblings. You can read more about her in my semi-fictionalized story -> tinyurl.com/my-little-grandma
"Prairie Fires" looks at the memories of Laura Ingalls from her childhood through her life. Fraser does a wonderful job of providing the reader with a historical context: political, cultural and geographic. The book starts with a dramatic re-telling of the collision between the 'settlers' with their free homesteads and the First Nations peoples who occupied the land in the region back into times unrecorded. The book is full of accounts of wicked weather and crop failures, chronic indebtedness of Laura's family and her own husband and her, and the "building" of the Heartland by the pioneers.
We move through the story of Laura and with the help of all the author's research, have a pretty clear picture of the struggles to survive, the small joys, and the difficulties in avoiding a pretty steady stream of woes and misfortunes. Wilder lived through the Civil War, and World Wars I and II. Because of her only child, Rose, we get a look at Europe and New York during and between the Wars.
More than any of any other feature in this book, we get to see how Laura Ingalls Wilder became a famous children's book writer, and have a pretty thorough peak into the relationship she had with her daughter, Rose, also a writer.
Much of Laura's adult life appears to be looking sadly back on the loss of her childhood family closeness, particularly her admiration for her father, Charles. (At first it was difficult for me NOT to transpose Michael Landon's LittleJoe face on descriptions of her father, although after I saw enough of family pictures I began to imagine him more as he was described or looked in those old photos-- tall with twinkly blue eyes and a lot of beard and playing a violin.) Laura herself seems to have been a pretty "typical" farm woman of the time-- Conservative politically, self-sufficient, a little brittle but kind and polite and grateful. Both she and Rose subscribed to the early Libertarian belief system developed most familiarly by Ayn Rand, who was a contemporary and friend with Rose. If they lived today they may well have been anti-vaxxers in the truck convoy, or, maybe, Trumpsters. Okay, I won't go there because Laura really is a very sweet character and does demonstrates dedication to her craft, her family, her community and pleasure in the children and librarians who value the messages in her books. She is a decent person.
The book has several plot snags, much as their life did. But a happy ending.
Stefanie Land was a woman in her twenties, living in the Port Angeles region of Washington State (the Pacific Northwest) and dreaming of moving to MisStefanie Land was a woman in her twenties, living in the Port Angeles region of Washington State (the Pacific Northwest) and dreaming of moving to Missoula, Montana to study writing at the University there. She met Jamie and they moved into his trailer. Within a short time, she found that she was pregnant. Jamie was adamant that she have an abortion. She decided to have the baby. He ultimately demanded that she leave and take the baby with her.
Thanks to Land's willingness to work hard at a low-paying job as a maid, she and her little girl survived a cycle of ongoing sadness, fear, stress, illness, financial exploitation, betrayal, abuse, and other trials and misfortunes. This book came to be through the author's desire to record her story of desperation and obstacles as a poor single mother in the representation of-- giving voice to-- thousands of others on the same treadmill of poverty. She meticulously details the bureaucracy and bigotry that attempts to keep her stuck as a victim. Happily, she also shares the edifying kindnesses and encouragement of people who helped to counter some of her rougher experiences, and who she looks to as guides in her journey towards a dream of a better life for her and her child.
If you saw a series of the same name and theme on Netflix, you have seen a slightly different set of stories with many different characters. The movie series was popular with viewers. The book provides more details of the six years of struggle for survival for Stephanie and her child. I enjoyed both the movie series and the book. The Kirkus Review (back cover of the book) states that this book by Lands is ''An important memoir that should be required reading for anyone who has never struggled with poverty.'' I would add that this book will likely remind those of us who have known poverty as a young adult and or single parents, how much we have to be grateful for if we have moved beyond that status....more
"More Letters from the Country" by Marsha Boulton is a follow-up to her "Letters from the Country" that won the esteemed *Stephen Leacock Award for Hu"More Letters from the Country" by Marsha Boulton is a follow-up to her "Letters from the Country" that won the esteemed *Stephen Leacock Award for Humour.* Like the first book, it is a series of short humourous essays on the trials and sweet moments of raising domestic animals of all kinds-- including stories about ducks, chickens, geese, horses, a turkey, and primarily, sheep and lambs. A dog, a cat, and even deer also make their way into some of the stories.
Boulton is delightfully witty and writes in a style that is both relatable to the contemporary Canadian (although Millennials might have to google some words from the 1990s when the book was published) and would have met the high standards of Stephen Leacock himself for satire and spot-on detailed descriptions of hilarious events in her life on the farm. ...more
This little book has achieved 'classic' status based largely on the radical steps the author, Norman Cousins, had taken previously to let the world knThis little book has achieved 'classic' status based largely on the radical steps the author, Norman Cousins, had taken previously to let the world know about his success in overcoming a painful, life-threatening disease that plagued him and that 'doctors' at that time (1960s) gave no hope for overcoming.
This book is an analysis of how the ill perceive their illness and the prognosis for overcoming it with/ without medical interventions and the opinions of medical experts. It looks at studies that show that placebos are often almost as effective as some of the "medications" being studied before being brought onto the market. There is a pretty clear case made for the benefits of optimism, having a clear understanding how the body and the mind work together to achieve wellness (or conversely, give into sickness), and how important it is to be persistent and creative in seeking alternative ways of healing for oneself when one runs into negativity, neglect and promotion of interests other than caring for a patient's welfare in the medical "system".
Even though much of the book's content has been shared since the book was published in 1979, there were still interesting and inspiring findings to read and to marvel at. My husband and I read this little book aloud and discussed each chapter. He was also reading "Laughter Yoga" at the same time (see my review HERE) and we both have been paying a lot of attention to laughing (or voluntary/ fake laughing) as well. The two books work well to reinforce similar principles of healing through positivity....more
Memoir by the youngest child in a big family (9) growing up in a restaurant tradition with a side of Catholicism.
The most fully-developed character iMemoir by the youngest child in a big family (9) growing up in a restaurant tradition with a side of Catholicism.
The most fully-developed character is the dad, a.k.a. George. He is a complex make-up of a generous but penny-pinching man who takes his family, all of whom work for him at the restaurant, on fancy trips to restaurant conventions where he drops $1200 at the restaurant fancy meal, but gets into a rage over someone opening the hotel fridge and eating a can of peanuts, going out and replacing it with a Walgreen's can. He is a loving, interested father and spouse at home, but at the restaurant he strikes fear and shame into all his kids and staff.
Over all, the family is very "close" and supportive of each other, and Julia, the youngest, single adult-child, appears to have a major role in caring for her parents as they age and moves back in with her father before his passing. It seems very clear that this family loves each other in a way that is not often written about in many memoirs. Heart-warming is one old-y fashioned-y phrase that comes to mind....more
I enjoyed reading and applying this little book about how laughter is healing and promotes happiness.
The author is an Indian physician who stumbled acI enjoyed reading and applying this little book about how laughter is healing and promotes happiness.
The author is an Indian physician who stumbled across laughter therapy when going through some adjustments to the pressures and disconnected quality of life in a large Indian city while attending medical school. He read Norman Cousin's book about his experiences with laughter and comedy in healing his painful disease and immediately set about doing personal "research" into how effective laughter would be in healing his depression.
He also looked at laughter as a way to bring people together in a warm and friendly way, to reconnect humans. Using Yoga philosophy and breathing exercises, in 1995 he went about formally setting up Laughter "Clubs", first in India and then around the world.
In this book he describes the way laughter yoga is practiced, the principles, and talks about the various studies that show how useful laughter is in alleviating various conditions, and in fact, in healing some. He looks also at various populations of people and the effect of laughter yoga in these groups.
This book is very inspiring. I have been doing some of the exercises. There are several videos about Laughter Yoga online and courses as well, through Udemy, etc. This seems to be a simple technique that can be expanded and used in many different situations (eg., dental anxiety) to turn things around so that fear is replaced by confidence, angry exasperation by calm, foggy thinking by acuity, etc. It's a quick read with lots of uplifting testimonials....more
As you can tell from the title, this book is written for Seventh-day Adventist readers. The author is generously donating the financial proceeds from As you can tell from the title, this book is written for Seventh-day Adventist readers. The author is generously donating the financial proceeds from book sales to Adventist Today magazine.
For the last few years, a number of "progressive" believers meet online (usually around 130 of us) to take part in a seminar presented on a spiritual/Biblical/cultural/political subject that has stimulated controversy within the denomination, or that has been written about in Adventist Today and sparked interest among the "progressives" reading the magazine.
I came into Adventism as someone married for several years to an Adventist, a man who never pressed me to "give up" my Catholic influences or feminist views. I was wooed by his love and desire to be a supportive husband and father.
I eventually studied the Bible with some lovely souls and joined the faith community in 1993. My husband and I were quite involved in local Church leadership roles and so, I think, had opportunities to be a part of changes that were more "progressive" than had existed in our particular church community prior to my joining.
I was a social worker working with women and children who had experienced abuse from their partners, so when "Women's Ministries" became a 'thing' I was poised to share my knowledge and resources for women who often didn't realize there was help and a safe place to go, that they had not 'caused' the abuse, and that Jesus did not expect them to put up with the violence and degradation 'until death do us part'. And, of course, I had progressive views on Women's Ordination, LGBTQ 'issues', and gender/sexual equality, etc.
For the most part, I was high on the lovely people I met and the strong Christian friends we made within the Church. I was very appreciative of the "health ministry" and for having support and guidance in giving up bad habits that had created health problems for me and my allergic son. Of course, there were times when the basic liberal-me was unable to contain my snarky opposition to what I saw as fundamentalist viewpoints. But, in general I was happy to belong and got a lot of positive feedback from my colleagues at work, some even joining me for various religious events.
As the sparkle of the "honeymoon" dulled a little, I realized that there were people struggling with all kinds of social issues within the Church. Many of my Church friends were people like me-- university educated, professionals, generally 'egalitarian' in their relationships. I also glimpsed racism, sexism, and homophobia. I heard about childhood sexual abuse and gays who married to attempt to keep their families (and God?) happy.
We moved when I had been Adventist for about ten years. Our new Church contained a number of kind, pretty 'progressive' folks as well as some who were healing from various situations that made it difficult to trust change. We ran into a situation that we had not anticipated at any point in our harmonious and engaged Church life. Because we stood firm in defending someone who blew the whistle on abuse, we were targeted (my husband more than I) as well as the person we supported. We were disturbed by the situation that ensued-- not my story to tell, but I will say that it included something very similar to the Spanish Inquisition with a "more culpable" verdict (??) and follow-up shunning.
Long story short, we left that particular Church, COVID happened, and we discovered ZOOM Church and also the weekly Sabbath Seminar community. We also discovered compassionate Church members like Sarah McDugal who go to bat against abuse by reaching out to women trapped in religiously violent marriages, and a group called "The Hope of Survivors" that provides support and information to adults who have been sexually violated by clergy.
Jack Hoehn was born into an Adventist doctor's family and he attended Loma Linda University to become a physician himself. He and his family spent 13 years in Adventist medical missionary work in Lesotho and Zambia. He returned with his family to the United States to become a physician at Walla Walla, retiring in 2017.
Well-positioned to ponder the collision of science and theology throughout his life, Jack was also present to experience the Adventist "Movement" in different cultural milieux (his education took place in the US, Canada, and Europe, and he directed a large Adventist hospital in Africa). Twice he was a voting delegate at a General Conference. The questions so many of us Adventists are now asking, such as, "What could attract more young families to our denomination?" and "Did I just hear an Adventist say they believed in marching for abortion rights?" or "Will I "deconstruct" myself right into the Lake of Fire?" have likely occurred to Jack Hoehn.
Read this book and find many of the questions you, as an Adventist or an ex-Adventist, have asked yourself, others, God. You will be fascinated and I do not doubt that some of your anxieties will lessen when you read Hoehn's reviews of the many sage authors he has turned to in looking for "fresh ideas while waiting for Jesus". No spoilers here. I just want you to know that he doesn't throw the baby out with the bath water.
The last chapter includes a giant reading list, relating to all the fascinating reading of leading "progressive" scholars -- Adventist and non-Adventist-- in the pursuit of answers to the questions he, you and I have been asking....more
Seeking wisdom from years of so-called Christian sources-- Sunday School, church school, Godly mentors, prayer, Bible study, reading, pondering, BibleSeeking wisdom from years of so-called Christian sources-- Sunday School, church school, Godly mentors, prayer, Bible study, reading, pondering, Bible College-- does not provide Philip Yancey with an understanding of his family's dysfunction and inability to show and feel love from each other on any kind of ongoing basis. Yancey suggests in a latter chapter of the book that he always knew that someday he would need to write his memoirs, that there would be reconciliation and resolution to the family dilemmas in doing that.
I have read Philip Yancey's books over the years, maybe not all 15 of them, but a majority of them. I introduced his writing to a family member and a very dear friend, who is no longer with us on this plane of discovery-- and how I missed discussing this book with her! Every other book had hints of a rocky childhood and a brave dive into areas of spirituality and religion that were exciting and at first unexpected to a reader connected with stultifying traditional conservative Christianity, if not outright fundamentalism.
His memoir is a metaphorical ride through a maze of backwater swamps and alluring glimpses of how better-equipped people live. He vacillates between profound empathy as a young child to being incapable of buying into the Bible College loop of repetitive wearying years of religious hypocrisy. It seems there is nothing new under the sun for him to learn, and the anxiety of trying to manage the family madness is a great burden.
This book was so very interesting and engaging. Anyone in my age range (early 70s) will have a pretty good memory of the historical events that were current in both of our lives, and that had significance in Yancey's journey. I highly recommend this book to my peers (in or out of the Christian walk).
This was a beautifully written piece of historical fiction. It has all the hallmarks of a classic, like "To Kill A Mockingbird." The voice of a SoutheThis was a beautifully written piece of historical fiction. It has all the hallmarks of a classic, like "To Kill A Mockingbird." The voice of a Southern Black woman of the time, a young nurse who matures over the course of the story into a physician, but who was from birth a Black woman of privilege, rings true and irresistible. The story of racist institutional, systemic injustice in 1970s Alabama is echoing today with the reversal of Roe v. Wade.
I love all the shades of grey (or tan?) that Perkins-Valdez so skillfully knit into the story. Any preachy moments are brief and functional. The story moves along with elements of mystery, ethical debate, adolescent spirit, and well-developed characterization that is matched with natural, interesting, authentic-sounding dialogue. This book makes one think, and feel. And Valdez-Perkins doesn't cave into predictable outcomes.
What I most admired about this book by Miriam Toews is her ability to get back into her child's vision. Either she has a child of 8 or 10 she could reWhat I most admired about this book by Miriam Toews is her ability to get back into her child's vision. Either she has a child of 8 or 10 she could refer to during the writing of this book, or she has a super-keen memory for a child's point of view in an adult's world.
I love her eccentric characters, their strength and the willingness of other characters to accept them for who they are-- their compassion and loyalty. I liked the little narrator and her feisty ways of living, her love for her grandmother (who loved her back), and their willingness to care for the "mother" who was pretty unlovable at times-- angry, explosive, neglectful, selfish, but they see her as someone they love who has been through some tough times and needs their help.
The audiobook was read by both the author and her sister. I noticed the change in reader but it didn't seem like something I needed to worry about. The reading style was very similar and very fitting with the story.
The references back to the Mennonite women of another of Toew's books shows up here for the book's grandmother. Toews is very interested in this theme. In an interview I saw online she talked about how she could have been one of those women. (The book is "Women Talking" about women in a Central American Mennonite 'colony' who were sexually assaulted by their male partners in the night and the men got off with impunity. The women did not charge them, but left the "cult". Toew's mother, Elvira (also the name of the grandmother in Fight Night) had lived in a Central American Mennonite community similar to the one she wrote about.
And a trip-- many of Toew's books involve travel. This time it is a funny, anxiety-producing trip from Canada to California.
What most amazed me about this well-written memoir was the clarity of the child and adolescent voice it was narrated in. Quite frequently, a going-bacWhat most amazed me about this well-written memoir was the clarity of the child and adolescent voice it was narrated in. Quite frequently, a going-back-into-childhood story will be told in the words and cognition of the matured and knowing author. Cherilyn Clough has managed to keep a child-like simplicity and naivete in her recounted memories of growing up that has the uncanny effect of pulling the reader right back into those tender-- and often tortured--stages with her.
Unlike Clough, I did not grow up with parents who practiced a fundamentalist Christian religion. I did, however, experience neglect, emotional abuse, and the disempowering injunctions around my duty to be seen but not heard voiced often by a personality-disordered parent. I found myself in complete understanding of the author's childhood and adolescent desires for friends and a normal, stable life that included a stimulating education with parental encouragement to plan for my future.
The author has "special superpowers" that are endowed upon her, ironically, during a sarcastic rejoinder by a parent ("the memory of an elephant") and by her much-loved grandmother ("always tell the truth"). While her value of these special gifts helped her have an acute sense of self, even within a very restrictive upbringing (could even be labeled as brainwashing, although the author never uses that phrase), she was also shamed and scapegoated when she use these gifts in attempts to evoke some empathy and encouragement from her parents.
Clough also introduces some wry humor-- "comedic relief"-- that had me laugh out loud following on moments of tension and despair. Her ability to summon up the memories of the dullest moments of her youth, along with the hope and despair and spiritual crystallization, really gives this memoir a life of its own that is rarely sustained in other memoirs about childhood spiritual abuse (and there are a lot of them out there, and I have have read a lot of them).
Clough's story has the tension and energy to motivate staying up late to repeatedly promise oneself, "I will read just one more chapter."
Merged review:
What most amazed me about this well-written memoir was the clarity of the child and adolescent voice it was narrated in. Quite frequently, a going-back-into-childhood story will be told in the words and cognition of the matured and knowing author. Cherilyn Clough has managed to keep a child-like simplicity and naivete in her recounted memories of growing up that has the uncanny effect of pulling the reader right back into those tender-- and often tortured--stages with her.
Unlike Clough, I did not grow up with parents who practiced a fundamentalist Christian religion. I did, however, experience neglect, emotional abuse, and the disempowering injunctions around my duty to be seen but not heard voiced often by a personality-disordered parent. I found myself in complete understanding of the author's childhood and adolescent desires for friends and a normal, stable life that included a stimulating education with parental encouragement to plan for my future.
The author has "special superpowers" that are endowed upon her, ironically, during a sarcastic rejoinder by a parent ("the memory of an elephant") and by her much-loved grandmother ("always tell the truth"). While her value of these special gifts helped her have an acute sense of self, even within a very restrictive upbringing (could even be labeled as brainwashing, although the author never uses that phrase), she was also shamed and scapegoated when she use these gifts in attempts to evoke some empathy and encouragement from her parents.
Clough also introduces some wry humor-- "comedic relief"-- that had me laugh out loud following on moments of tension and despair. Her ability to summon up the memories of the dullest moments of her youth, along with the hope and despair and spiritual crystallization, really gives this memoir a life of its own that is rarely sustained in other memoirs about childhood spiritual abuse (and there are a lot of them out there, and I have have read a lot of them).
Clough's story has the tension and energy to motivate staying up late to repeatedly promise oneself, "I will read just one more chapter."...more
This book was so interesting to me. I did not become an Adventist until I was well into adulthood, but I have had an opportunity to observe and partakThis book was so interesting to me. I did not become an Adventist until I was well into adulthood, but I have had an opportunity to observe and partake of the Adventist "culture" since 1993, so I certainly recognize the people that are profiled in this book. I have listened to a lot of stories about having grown up Adventist and eavesdropped on the periphery of 'Academy-friends' circles at Women's Retreats and Camp Meetings. While I found this book as fascinating as I did, I think I know of several younger folks in their 20s-40s who would find it even more relevant to their past and current life experiences. I will be passing the word on.
I listened to an interview with Trudy where one of the panel paralleled this story to the movie "The Breakfast Club." As someone perhaps a little older and more worldly, I see it as more similar to the movie "The Big Chill". Those are the only spoilers I will levy here.
The author does an excellent job of developing characters who embody almost every cultural bugaboo of Adventism within their group and who each have an individual way of dealing with their drifts away from their religious pasts, or of integrating the functional parts of their pasts with their current lives. The close, caring friendships and interconnectedness makes the difference to the quality of life among/between the friend-set over the years. When major adult issues emerge, friends are there to help. Rivalries exist, but are resolved. Secrets are kept, but eventually shared.
The writing is 'real' in that people swear, drugs and alcohol use happens, and faith is questioned. The author is solid in her own faith and doesn't make light of spirituality. There is a refreshing authenticity shown in the way characters respond, vacillate, make changes, squabble, make up, make love, and express doubt and anger.
This book will be a relevant and enjoyable read for people who grew up with an Adventist friend-set with whom they continue to be close as adults, and likely for others from the "culture" as well. It likely will also be at least somewhat relatable to those who grew up in other conservative faith groups with similar friendship constellations.
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