At this point, this library book is so overdue that I don't know what to due with myself. I mean *do with myself! How stupid is this review?! (Very.)At this point, this library book is so overdue that I don't know what to due with myself. I mean *do with myself! How stupid is this review?! (Very.)...more
Wow. I am ashamed to have this book in my update. Let me just say that I tried to sign up for badreads.com to appropriately describe Blood Red by HeatWow. I am ashamed to have this book in my update. Let me just say that I tried to sign up for badreads.com to appropriately describe Blood Red by Heather Graham, but they rejected my review due to sexual content and language.
To sum up, main character Lauren Crow (again with the auburn hair, ugh) and her two imaginatively-named friends Deanna and Heidi go to New Orleans for a bachelorette party weekend. They run into Mark Davidson who [SPOILER ALERT] predictably turns out to be a vampire and [/SPOILER] warns them of an "evil" vampire lurking in the post-Katrina city. Besides the three girls conveniently being a perky blonde, serious brunette, and redheaded ingenue, every single possible male love interest is described as "tall and dark." Every. One.
Girls are being beheaded and dumped in the river, Lauren sees a fortune teller who gives her the creeps, etc. etc. uninteresting plot. But SURPRISE! All is well in the end, except that the book never addresses the fact that [SPOILER ALERT] Mark and Lauren get married and [/SPOILER] since he's a vampire, he will clearly outlive her by thousands of years.
The book fails as a suspense novel (every "fight" ends up being "dark evil shape" fighting against "dark evil shape," and "Ha! Sprayed you with a water gun filled with holy water"), as a vampire novel (there's the general "daylight's okay but they're stronger at night" cop-out, as well as abundant cliches like garlic and silver crosses), and it even fails as a romance novel. Sandra Brown is able to weave in sexual encounters for at least two separate couples; "Heather Graham" (if that is her real name; she's been around so long I'm suspecting ghostwriter) manages to squeeze in two fucks and one lovemaking, only between Mark and Lauren, and the situations are so uncompelling that I skipped the scenes anyways.
I don't like to rate romance novels, but I give this one a B-minus. Haha, no, just kidding. F!!!...more