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Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales Of A Botswana Safari Guide
A hilarious, highly original collection of essays based on the Botswana truism: “only food runs!”
In the tradition of Bill Bryson, a new writer brings us the lively adventures and biting wit of an African safari guide. Peter Allison gives us the guide’s-eye view of living in the bush, confronting the world’s fiercest terrain of wild animals and, most challenging of all, managing herds of gaping tourists. Passionate for the animals of the Kalahari, Allison works as a top safari guide in the wildlife-rich Okavango Delta. As he serves the whims of his wealthy clients, he often has to stop the impulse to run as far away from them as he can, as these tourists are sometimes more dangerous than a pride of lions.
No one could make up these outrageous-but-true tales: the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more “fashionable” hot pink ensemble; the lost tourist who happened to be drunk, half-naked, and a member of the British royal family; establishing a real friendship with the continent’s most vicious animal; the Japanese tourist who requested a repeat performance of Allison’s being charged by a lion so he could videotape it; and spending a crazy night in the wild after blowing a tire on a tour bus, revealing that Allison has as much good-natured scorn for himself.
The author’s humor is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals, and his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive—unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way!
Peter Allison is originally from Sydney, Australia. His safaris have been featured in National Geographic, Conde Nast Traveler, and on television programs such as Jack Hanna's Animal Adventures. He travels frequently to speaking appearances, and splits most of his time between Botswana, Sydney, and San Francisco.
In the tradition of Bill Bryson, a new writer brings us the lively adventures and biting wit of an African safari guide. Peter Allison gives us the guide’s-eye view of living in the bush, confronting the world’s fiercest terrain of wild animals and, most challenging of all, managing herds of gaping tourists. Passionate for the animals of the Kalahari, Allison works as a top safari guide in the wildlife-rich Okavango Delta. As he serves the whims of his wealthy clients, he often has to stop the impulse to run as far away from them as he can, as these tourists are sometimes more dangerous than a pride of lions.
No one could make up these outrageous-but-true tales: the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more “fashionable” hot pink ensemble; the lost tourist who happened to be drunk, half-naked, and a member of the British royal family; establishing a real friendship with the continent’s most vicious animal; the Japanese tourist who requested a repeat performance of Allison’s being charged by a lion so he could videotape it; and spending a crazy night in the wild after blowing a tire on a tour bus, revealing that Allison has as much good-natured scorn for himself.
The author’s humor is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals, and his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive—unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way!
Peter Allison is originally from Sydney, Australia. His safaris have been featured in National Geographic, Conde Nast Traveler, and on television programs such as Jack Hanna's Animal Adventures. He travels frequently to speaking appearances, and splits most of his time between Botswana, Sydney, and San Francisco.
246 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2007
About the author
Peter Allison
20 books111 followersPeter Allison is an Australian writer whose books have focused on his time as an African safari guide, as well as his time in South America. He grew up in Sydney. At the age of 16 won a scholarship to study in Japan. At 19 he travelled to Africa and became a guide for the Classic Safari Company.
He currently lives in Cape Town with his wife Pru, and their pet dog Mombo, where he works for Wilderness Safaris.
He currently lives in Cape Town with his wife Pru, and their pet dog Mombo, where he works for Wilderness Safaris.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,107 reviews
February 10, 2017
Final review: this is very light reading with plenty of interesting facts, amusing incidents and annoying guests, including randy Royals. It would make a very good tv series starring the author who is extremely handsome and very cack-handed, if not accident prone. (He specialises in wrecking safari vehicles). There is some depth, especially about lions, but the author despite his deep interest in animals in the wild doesn't convey much. This could be that the editor wanted a light, easy-reading book full of personality and laughs, and on that level the book succeeds. It's a 4.5 star read, loses half a star because there are some frankly tedious passages, but mostly it's very enjoyable and so rounded up to a good-read 5 star.
__________
Things I have learned so far:
1. In Africa, only food runs! And a cheesy joke. Two guides are out in the bush when they see a lioness stalking them. One guide kneels down, takes his trainers out of his back pack and begins to lace them up. The other guide says to him that he can't be thinking he could outrun a lion. Back comes the answer, "I don't have to mate, I only have to outrun you!"
2 & 3. It is true that elephants are freaked by mice. When there are lot of the tiny rodents around they run up elephants trunks and generally upset them into making kind of girly noises! These same mice get into people's tents and beds and head for an Unmentionable Place whose smell and warmth appeals to them. This being so embarrassing, people who have been on safari do not mention it.
4. Lions avoid elephants, rhinos and hippos for obvious reasons, and for not such obvious ones the very much feared honey badger. This is a small, super-cute 2' badger with loose rubbery skin that makes holding on to him very difficult, an anal gland that can outstink a skunk, teeth that can break open a tortoise's shell, huge digging, ripping claws and a formidable intelligence - they make and use tools. They don't back down from fights and are happy to pick them with animals as big as buffalo. Their fighting technique consists of ripping open their opponent's genitals with their claws and teeth. Not really pet material.
5. Disgusting game played whilst drunk on tequila with some minor British royals. A naked player had to clutch five pieces of bog roll in his nether cheeks whilst running to a preset goal. Oh, the bog roll was set on fire first...
I'm enjoying this light, irreverent and informative book.
__________
Things I have learned so far:
1. In Africa, only food runs! And a cheesy joke. Two guides are out in the bush when they see a lioness stalking them. One guide kneels down, takes his trainers out of his back pack and begins to lace them up. The other guide says to him that he can't be thinking he could outrun a lion. Back comes the answer, "I don't have to mate, I only have to outrun you!"
2 & 3. It is true that elephants are freaked by mice. When there are lot of the tiny rodents around they run up elephants trunks and generally upset them into making kind of girly noises! These same mice get into people's tents and beds and head for an Unmentionable Place whose smell and warmth appeals to them. This being so embarrassing, people who have been on safari do not mention it.
4. Lions avoid elephants, rhinos and hippos for obvious reasons, and for not such obvious ones the very much feared honey badger. This is a small, super-cute 2' badger with loose rubbery skin that makes holding on to him very difficult, an anal gland that can outstink a skunk, teeth that can break open a tortoise's shell, huge digging, ripping claws and a formidable intelligence - they make and use tools. They don't back down from fights and are happy to pick them with animals as big as buffalo. Their fighting technique consists of ripping open their opponent's genitals with their claws and teeth. Not really pet material.
5. Disgusting game played whilst drunk on tequila with some minor British royals. A naked player had to clutch five pieces of bog roll in his nether cheeks whilst running to a preset goal. Oh, the bog roll was set on fire first...
I'm enjoying this light, irreverent and informative book.
January 5, 2016
This book is about Peter Allison and his time in Africa as a safari guide. I don't know what I expected when I picked up this book, but I felt slightly disappointed when I finished reading. Not to say that I didn't enjoy it, because I did, but something just felt lacking.
There was quite a bit of humor throughout the book, which I enjoyed, in addition to animal encounters.
There was quite a bit of humor throughout the book, which I enjoyed, in addition to animal encounters.
May 31, 2014
Peter Allison isn't the world's best writer, but he's got a talent that's perhaps even better for a book of this kind: he's a great storyteller. These true stories from his 10+ year career as an African safari guide dishes up plenty of armchair excitement along with a good dollop of Allison's wry wit and self-deprecation over his triumphs and failures of the job.
Loses one star for me over an excess of "potty humor" and swearing, but still an entertaining read, and one that makes me want to cram a pith helmet and khaki pants in a duffle bag and head out...
Loses one star for me over an excess of "potty humor" and swearing, but still an entertaining read, and one that makes me want to cram a pith helmet and khaki pants in a duffle bag and head out...
September 7, 2014
I loved this collection of tales from a young Australian man who worked in Botswana as a safari guide for several years. I enjoyed the stories of close shaves with large animals - elephants, hippos, lions and buffalo, the stories of problems guiding in the safari park, the stories of camp life and so on. There were things I laughed out loud at, and things which made me groan (the chapter entitled "The Great Mouse Plague" was the worst for this...), and things which made me gasp, hold my breath and keep reading very quickly to see what happened. It was interesting to find out a bit more about Botswana, and Sir Seretse Khama (the founder of the nation of Botswana, and Mma Ramotswe's hero in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series).
Unlike some memoirs which tend to ramble and lose the plot at times, I felt it was very well-written and engaging for the reader. The author was self-deprecating and able to laugh at himself and the mistakes that he made along the way. There are some fantastic photos taken by the author and friends.
I tossed up between giving this book 4.5 or 5 stars and gave it 5 in the end because, although it's not great literature, it is truly an enthralling read that I loved reading from beginning to end.
Unlike some memoirs which tend to ramble and lose the plot at times, I felt it was very well-written and engaging for the reader. The author was self-deprecating and able to laugh at himself and the mistakes that he made along the way. There are some fantastic photos taken by the author and friends.
I tossed up between giving this book 4.5 or 5 stars and gave it 5 in the end because, although it's not great literature, it is truly an enthralling read that I loved reading from beginning to end.
June 10, 2017
This is a series of essays written from a safari guide who worked in South Africa and Botswana. Having recently returned from a safari in Botswana, I bought this book, which had been recommended by my guide during my trip. It's a wonderful collection and very funny and I think to really appreciate it you'd need to go on a safari first - however, I think reading it before venturing over to Africa would give you a better appreciation for your guides and the people who work behind the scenes at the camp - I'd like to go back and not ask all the dumb questions I did, but I'm also happy that I wasn't one of those tourists that made it into the book!
The color photographs were fantastic and I'd loved to see more (but understand how costly that is from a publishing perspective). I will be purchasing his other book about Pumas!
Also wanted to say that the advice about running is very true -that's the first thing we learned when arriving at our first camp!
The color photographs were fantastic and I'd loved to see more (but understand how costly that is from a publishing perspective). I will be purchasing his other book about Pumas!
Also wanted to say that the advice about running is very true -that's the first thing we learned when arriving at our first camp!
July 5, 2013
The book had me in fits of laughter most of the time. An excellent holiday read! It's a constant battle between instinct and common sense and Peter Allison makes fun of everyone, of himself the most, which is so refreshing and delightful. I really enjoyed it. The reader will also learn a few valuable lessons from nature.
July 15, 2018
Just what I needed for a light summer read. Allison is not the strongest writer, but his love for conservation and wildlife shines through. I loved his description of encounters with African wildlife and his interaction with crazy foreign tourists made me smile.
March 11, 2017
Fun look at life in the bush told by a 20 something young male Australian guide. I learned amazing things about about the creatures in the wilds of Botswana and it was humorous and entertaining.
January 20, 2008
I loved this book. I thought it was funny and very educational. It was very well written, truly catching each moment.
The author, Peter Allison, left Australia at 19 to backpack through Africa. What started as a one year vacation turned into 7 years of guiding safaris.
The book is written in chapters that each relate a different event that happened. Many of the events involved large beasts found on the African outback. There were some funny stories, as well as some serious stories. Each one left me wishing I were there experiencing it all.
I'm an animal lover and would love to do a safari one day and this just further whetted my appetite. Aside from being incredibly interesting, the writing was superb. I thought for a while that it was going to go the route of "eco-friendly" but he kept politics out of it.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that dreams of seeing a lion or elephant in nature.
The author, Peter Allison, left Australia at 19 to backpack through Africa. What started as a one year vacation turned into 7 years of guiding safaris.
The book is written in chapters that each relate a different event that happened. Many of the events involved large beasts found on the African outback. There were some funny stories, as well as some serious stories. Each one left me wishing I were there experiencing it all.
I'm an animal lover and would love to do a safari one day and this just further whetted my appetite. Aside from being incredibly interesting, the writing was superb. I thought for a while that it was going to go the route of "eco-friendly" but he kept politics out of it.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that dreams of seeing a lion or elephant in nature.
September 8, 2016
This is the kind of book I would love to illustrate with update pictures and talk about with friends but those features seem to have disappeared from Goodreads. For lovers of Africa and nature this collection of stories from Allison's years as a young and dangerously innocent safari guide is great fun, filled with humor and insights.
March 19, 2017
After reading this book, I would never want to be on safari and have the author of this book as my guide! The book is described as being hilarious but I'd characterize it as frightening. Allison was a danger to himself, his fellow guides, and his guests. While he seems to have matured a bit as he became more experienced, I hate to think of danger in which he put some of his earliest guests. Some of the experiences of being up close and personal with the wild and exotic African animals were interesting, but he seemed quite willing to take not only himself but those he was guiding into some dangerous situations. And, in many of the stories he characterizes guests by their nationality with none of them coming off very well. One can hope, if he is still guiding, that he has matured a bit since he wrote this book in 2008.
September 9, 2017
Hilarious short accounts of a Wild Safari tour guide in Botswana. The writing style is interesting and very funny. The book also contains insets of pics of author with his various friends (including wildlife).
Sets your expectations straight on what to expect from a wildlife safari... contrary to the general expectations of always sighting rare moments which are captured on TV.
Sets your expectations straight on what to expect from a wildlife safari... contrary to the general expectations of always sighting rare moments which are captured on TV.
December 29, 2018
A highly entertaining book, Peter Allison has a great sense of humor and knows how to spin a good tale. It was fascinating to get a peek into the funnier side of African safari experiences from the point of view of the guides!
December 7, 2015
"Whatever you do don’t RUN – FOOD RUNS!!”
This is a funny little in-between book and with the many references to Botswana, South Africa and the bush this will appeal to all South African’s and lovers of our wildlife.
19-Year-old Peter Allison came to South Africa in 1994 as a pit stop only to arrange for finances after an unfortunate robbery in Malawi, and never left.
In the same vein as Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse it had me laughing most of the way through. These short stories capture his adaptation to the life of a safari guide and his experiences with tourists. I also really enjoyed the chapter on Botswana’s Seretse Khama, giving me a bit of background on our neighboring country’s first President.
This is no work of literary genius but his genuine love of nature and conservation makes up for it. He also seems to be one of those individuals who attract hilarious or obscure situations like dung attracts flies.
What happened recently to tourists at a Loin Park in Johannesburg is no joke but then again tourists seem to think that they will be meeting “Simba” not a wild animal. This is not a criticism but perhaps books like this will bring the message across, in a fun and quirky way, just how dangerous our animals really are.
This is a funny little in-between book and with the many references to Botswana, South Africa and the bush this will appeal to all South African’s and lovers of our wildlife.
19-Year-old Peter Allison came to South Africa in 1994 as a pit stop only to arrange for finances after an unfortunate robbery in Malawi, and never left.
In the same vein as Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse it had me laughing most of the way through. These short stories capture his adaptation to the life of a safari guide and his experiences with tourists. I also really enjoyed the chapter on Botswana’s Seretse Khama, giving me a bit of background on our neighboring country’s first President.
This is no work of literary genius but his genuine love of nature and conservation makes up for it. He also seems to be one of those individuals who attract hilarious or obscure situations like dung attracts flies.
What happened recently to tourists at a Loin Park in Johannesburg is no joke but then again tourists seem to think that they will be meeting “Simba” not a wild animal. This is not a criticism but perhaps books like this will bring the message across, in a fun and quirky way, just how dangerous our animals really are.
March 4, 2011
I bought this book because I plan to get to the Okavango Delta in Botswana with its immense diversity in wildlife. After reading Australian Peter Allison’s African safari-guide tales, I’m aware of dangers I’d not considered, but remain undaunted. Being hopelessly lost in a maze of shape shifting canals and stepping on the back of an alligator while pulling your flimsy boat through shallow waters can be avoided, but it does make an exciting tale. However, being dive-bombed by malaria-carrying mosquitoes can not! The stories are all entertaining and filled with quirky Ozzie humor capped off with a sly bit of sentimentality to let us know he cares. Allison makes it plain that he likes the wildlife a lot more than he likes the tourists he has to cater to, but he does it with self-deprecating good humor. I truly enjoyed this book and am even more eager to get to the delta than before—grumpy water buffaloes that would as soon gore me as look at me, or not! This is one tourist Mr. Allison has not scared away.
Linda Ballou
Lost Angel Walkabout-One Traveler's Tales
Linda Ballou
Lost Angel Walkabout-One Traveler's Tales
January 1, 2021
Peter Allison's stories about being a safari guide in Africa are pure entertainment. Whatever You Do, Don't Run is filled with fun-to-read stories ranging from idiotic things that tourists do, to dangerous face-to-face encounters with lions.
He has a knack for relating the humorous happenings around camp, including being overrun by mice and a college-like party atmosphere when the guides are off duty. He is also honest about the less glamorous aspects of the job, yet manages to still make them sound interesting.
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to go on safari in Africa, then I would recommend this memoir. It was so much fun to read that I still find myself chuckling at some of the stories a couple of weeks after reading it.
He has a knack for relating the humorous happenings around camp, including being overrun by mice and a college-like party atmosphere when the guides are off duty. He is also honest about the less glamorous aspects of the job, yet manages to still make them sound interesting.
If you have ever wondered what it would be like to go on safari in Africa, then I would recommend this memoir. It was so much fun to read that I still find myself chuckling at some of the stories a couple of weeks after reading it.
December 3, 2023
این دوستمون نویسنده ماهری نیست اما نوشته هاش صادقانه و دلنشینه و تجربه های بکری داره که من تجربه شنیدن با خوندمشو جایی دیگه ای نداشتم.
علاقه اش به حیات وحش و حس نیازی که به زندگی درکنار حیوانات داره رو خیلی دوست داشتم هرچند خودم اصلا حاضر نیست تجربه هاشو تکرار کنم.
تا یادم نرفته: این کتاب سراسر خنده ست.
علاقه اش به حیات وحش و حس نیازی که به زندگی درکنار حیوانات داره رو خیلی دوست داشتم هرچند خودم اصلا حاضر نیست تجربه هاشو تکرار کنم.
تا یادم نرفته: این کتاب سراسر خنده ست.
May 30, 2019
The perfect read before I go on my first safari this summer :) Highly recommend!
November 11, 2014
Ich wollte eigentlich in diesem Sommer Tierschutzprojekte in Botswana und Namibia besuchen. Leider habe ich mit der Planung etwas spät angefangen, so dass es dann schlussendlich doch nicht geklappt hat.
Um mich ein wenig darüber hinwegzutrösten, bin ich mit diesem kleinen Büchlein auf mentale Safari gegangen.
So ganz konnte es den Urlaub leider nicht ersetzen aber dafür war es auch ein ganzes Stück günstiger.
"Whatever you do, don’t run" ist kein biografischer Roman, sondern vielmehr eine Ankedotensammlung.
Amüsante Geschichten über das Leben unter wilden Tiere. Von Löwen über Affen, Elefanten und Geparden bis hin zu Mäusen, Schlangen und Vögel sind einige Spezies dabei.
Allison plaudert aus dem Nähkästchen und gibt klassische Safari-Weisheiten von sich wie: “Only food runs” u.ä.
Nebenbei erfährt man, dass das Campleben nicht nur aus purem Abenteuer sondern auch aus harter Arbeit, Routine und Langeweile besteht. Die Gäste, die ins Camp eingeflogen werden, sind meist ältere, gut betuchte und wenig sympathische Zeitgenossen.
Ich hatte mir das insgesamt romantischer vorgestellt. Die Geschichten von Mäuseplagen, versenkten Jeeps, überraschenden Zusammenstößen mit Löwen, Schlangen oder Elefanten sind zwar lustig und mit reichlich Selbstironie erzählt aber auch schnell wieder vergessen.
Teilweise ist der Humor sehr pubertär, was an sich nicht schlimm ist aber ein wenig mehr Tiefe hätte dem Buch nicht geschadet.
Mehr Biographie, mehr Informationen über Tiere, Land, und Leute. So bleibt es ein kurzweiliges Vergnügen.
Fazit – Nette Lagerfeuergeschichten!
"Whatever you do, don’t run" ist eine Sammlung von Anekdoten, wie sie mit Sicherheit auf jeder Safari am Lagerfeuer erzählt werden.
Nicht weniger aber leider auch nicht mehr. Amüsant geschrieben aber ohne großen Tiefgang.
Alle awesomatik Rezensionen auf einen Blick:
http://awesomatik.com/buchfuhlung/
awesomatik Kuriosum
Wo wir gerade beim Thema sind. Hier ein unglaubliches Timelapse-Video einer Gnu-Migration in Tanzania von Will Burrard Lucas:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gvpk...
Um mich ein wenig darüber hinwegzutrösten, bin ich mit diesem kleinen Büchlein auf mentale Safari gegangen.
So ganz konnte es den Urlaub leider nicht ersetzen aber dafür war es auch ein ganzes Stück günstiger.
"Whatever you do, don’t run" ist kein biografischer Roman, sondern vielmehr eine Ankedotensammlung.
Amüsante Geschichten über das Leben unter wilden Tiere. Von Löwen über Affen, Elefanten und Geparden bis hin zu Mäusen, Schlangen und Vögel sind einige Spezies dabei.
Allison plaudert aus dem Nähkästchen und gibt klassische Safari-Weisheiten von sich wie: “Only food runs” u.ä.
Nebenbei erfährt man, dass das Campleben nicht nur aus purem Abenteuer sondern auch aus harter Arbeit, Routine und Langeweile besteht. Die Gäste, die ins Camp eingeflogen werden, sind meist ältere, gut betuchte und wenig sympathische Zeitgenossen.
Ich hatte mir das insgesamt romantischer vorgestellt. Die Geschichten von Mäuseplagen, versenkten Jeeps, überraschenden Zusammenstößen mit Löwen, Schlangen oder Elefanten sind zwar lustig und mit reichlich Selbstironie erzählt aber auch schnell wieder vergessen.
Teilweise ist der Humor sehr pubertär, was an sich nicht schlimm ist aber ein wenig mehr Tiefe hätte dem Buch nicht geschadet.
Mehr Biographie, mehr Informationen über Tiere, Land, und Leute. So bleibt es ein kurzweiliges Vergnügen.
Fazit – Nette Lagerfeuergeschichten!
"Whatever you do, don’t run" ist eine Sammlung von Anekdoten, wie sie mit Sicherheit auf jeder Safari am Lagerfeuer erzählt werden.
Nicht weniger aber leider auch nicht mehr. Amüsant geschrieben aber ohne großen Tiefgang.
Alle awesomatik Rezensionen auf einen Blick:
http://awesomatik.com/buchfuhlung/
awesomatik Kuriosum
Wo wir gerade beim Thema sind. Hier ein unglaubliches Timelapse-Video einer Gnu-Migration in Tanzania von Will Burrard Lucas:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gvpk...
September 1, 2014
One of my book club reads. I loved this book. The author is amazing. He does things that I would loved to have done when I was young. Just get up and go do what you always wanted or try to at any rate.
I have never wanted to live in Africa but I have always wanted to visit. I could never last living there being a guide. Not with my fear of malaria etc. And of course they got malaria a few times. But the amazing wildlife they got to share their lives with is a dream!
There are some sad things and some happy things in the book. I can't say more than that without having spoilers!
Because of this book, I want to read more books from this author and actually have one on my Amazon wishlist. The humor of the author in his life situations makes the book a very good read as well. This isn't a drag on, hum drum book in my opinion. It's real life and from someone that can look back and laugh at themselves and have that, "What was I thinking at the time"! Definate read for any wildlife lover.
I have never wanted to live in Africa but I have always wanted to visit. I could never last living there being a guide. Not with my fear of malaria etc. And of course they got malaria a few times. But the amazing wildlife they got to share their lives with is a dream!
There are some sad things and some happy things in the book. I can't say more than that without having spoilers!
Because of this book, I want to read more books from this author and actually have one on my Amazon wishlist. The humor of the author in his life situations makes the book a very good read as well. This isn't a drag on, hum drum book in my opinion. It's real life and from someone that can look back and laugh at themselves and have that, "What was I thinking at the time"! Definate read for any wildlife lover.
June 16, 2010
I have to give this book 5 stars because of my personal connection with the author. Don't get me wrong. I would not rate it 5 stars JUST for 6 degrees of separation...it is a really funny and entertaining book. I have a unique perspective from this book that I will probably never have with any other book in my lifetime. I was very engaged with the characters because I actually KNEW many of them from my work in Botswana. The writing is very witty and the stories sparked so many memories of my travel in these parts that I just loved being "taken back there". I shared it with my niece-in-law :) who was traveling to South Africa and she loved it too. It does help to have traveled those parts or to have a special interest in safari or Botswana, but definitely not necessary. Fun, light read.
December 30, 2015
This is a collection of essays about the author's time as a Botswana Safari Guide. To say these are essays is a bit of stretch. Each piece is about a page or two long, and while there are really funny anecdotes, it started to get a bit repetitive and rather too fluffy for my tastes. We started reading this one aloud this summer, and after about the first five to seven vignettes or so, lost interest in picking it back up again. So onto the DNF pile it goes.
March 11, 2016
Cute anecdotes about the author's time as a safari guide in the Okavango Delta. Nice way to spend some time, but would have enjoyed it more if it had an actual narrative. The author is not much of a writer, but he is a good story teller; would be fantastic stories to tell - and hear! - around a campfire.
February 5, 2012
A very enjoyable, interesting read. Filled with great stories, humor and adventure. I've already got his next book coming my way!
September 17, 2023
I read this book only Bc Connor was forcing me to read a book about Africa before our trip. It was cute but I definitely wouldn’t have picked it up for myself or recommend unless you are also going on safari lol
October 23, 2018
I enjoyed this book much more than I expected to! It was so heartfelt and sincere. I loved getting to hear the author’s heart for African wildlife and the environment. I tired sometimes of the machismo with which he tells some of the stories- you can tell he started as a cocky young man trying to impress. But it’s a fun trip between that man and the slightly wiser, more compassionate one who finishes the story. Good read, and I’d highly recommend!
May 8, 2020
It’s not about animals, it’s about people
June 27, 2018
"Whatever You Do, Don't Run is a hilarious collection of true tales from top safari guide Peter Allison. In a place where the wrong behavior could get you eaten, Allison has survived face-to-face encounters with big cats, angry elephants, and the world's most unpredictable animals -- herds of untamed tourists and foolhardy guides whose outrageous antics sometimes make them even more dangerous than a pride of hungry lions!
"Join Allison as he faces down charging lions -- twice; searches for a drunk, half-naked tourist who happens to be a member of the British royal family; drives a Land Rover full of tourists into a lagoon full of hippos; and adopts the most vicious animal in Africa as his 'pet.' Full of lively banter and a genuine love and respect for Botswana and its rich wildlife, Whatever You Do, Don't Run takes you to where the wild things are and introduces you to a place where every day is a new adventure."
~~back cover
Short vignettes of humorous or frightening events in the life of a disingenuous safari guide; easy to read in short bites; lovely color photos in the middle of the book. More of a personal memoir than a discourse on the wildlife, it's still entertaining and even educational in spots (who would have thought that python would have stuffed most of itself down that hole? Do pythons really do that?); well worth the read if you like being vicariously taken to other parts of the world, in the safety of your armchair.
"Join Allison as he faces down charging lions -- twice; searches for a drunk, half-naked tourist who happens to be a member of the British royal family; drives a Land Rover full of tourists into a lagoon full of hippos; and adopts the most vicious animal in Africa as his 'pet.' Full of lively banter and a genuine love and respect for Botswana and its rich wildlife, Whatever You Do, Don't Run takes you to where the wild things are and introduces you to a place where every day is a new adventure."
~~back cover
Short vignettes of humorous or frightening events in the life of a disingenuous safari guide; easy to read in short bites; lovely color photos in the middle of the book. More of a personal memoir than a discourse on the wildlife, it's still entertaining and even educational in spots (who would have thought that python would have stuffed most of itself down that hole? Do pythons really do that?); well worth the read if you like being vicariously taken to other parts of the world, in the safety of your armchair.
September 8, 2016
An nice collection of stories from an Australian man who worked as a safari guide in Botswana in the 1990’s. I enjoyed the book, although somehow it doesn’t seem like these could be the very best stories from a veteran safari guide. Maybe he already sold his top ten somewhere else, and this is his second set? It’s a rather random assortment.
As much as I like animal stories, I don’t especially want to go on safari myself. If I ever did, though, I hope I’d behave better than the guests who complain about having to wake so early to see the animals, or who are bored and unimpressed by the wildlife they came so far to see. I would, however, be unhappy about being overrun by mice or surprised by snakes, which is why I don’t want to go on safari. Not very much, anyway.
My favorite story was the one where Allison catered to the bird watchers, who were irritated by the animals intruding on their attempts to identify birds; who only agreed to watch the lions feeding on a buffalo because there were vultures. “On the lower fork [of the tree] there is a leopard, and if you look over its back you will see the starling.”
As much as I like animal stories, I don’t especially want to go on safari myself. If I ever did, though, I hope I’d behave better than the guests who complain about having to wake so early to see the animals, or who are bored and unimpressed by the wildlife they came so far to see. I would, however, be unhappy about being overrun by mice or surprised by snakes, which is why I don’t want to go on safari. Not very much, anyway.
My favorite story was the one where Allison catered to the bird watchers, who were irritated by the animals intruding on their attempts to identify birds; who only agreed to watch the lions feeding on a buffalo because there were vultures. “On the lower fork [of the tree] there is a leopard, and if you look over its back you will see the starling.”
February 4, 2011
I have been enthralled with African animals since my first visit to the Natural History Museum in New York City when I was a child. I loved this book! I especially appreciate Allison's honesty and candor re. his inexperience when first starting as a guide. I felt as though I took a safari and never had to leave the comfort of my living room. The descriptive, humorous writing style kept me reading and wishing the book didn't end.
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