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477 pages, Paperback
First published November 16, 2010
“Cabal was most put out.”My poor Jojo. No wonder he’s all put out and stuff. I mean, there he was, doing a little bit of
"that was wonderful!" she cried. "How marvelously you did that! How proud I am of you!"If these two ever got together I'd have assumed it was because Gannin eventually figured out that he was acting like an asshole, but no, she onlly "opened her legs to him" (blegh!) after he tries to kill himself. And Gannin, delightful man that he is, immediately thinks, "however hard she might be battling against it, he knew now that he would go on searching, forever if necessary, for the key that would unlock her a second time." Jesus christ! Twilight had a healthier, less abusive relationship than this!
This is it, he thought, the delirious moment of surrender at last, and slipped his hand between their bodies to clasp her firm round breast, and pressed his lips against hers and drove his tongue deep into her mouth. Instantly she voiced the spell of levitation and sent him crashing miserably to the floor, where he landed in a crumpled heap with his left leg folded up beneath him in a way that sent the fiercest pain through his entire body.
She floated gently down beside him.
"You will always be an idiot," she said, and spat, and strode out of the room.
Being a magician, it turned out, wasn't so much like it was in books. You thought there'd be a Sauron or a White Witch or a Voldemort waiting for you when you graduated, but you know what? Those fuckers could never be bothered to show up. Didn't get the memo.This is such absolute silly bullshit. Who the fuck reads a fantasy book and wants to have magic so they can fight evil wizards? Fighting evil wizards is a price you have to pay in order to have magic, not the prize! (Additionally, I'd like to point out that not a single one of the characters Grossman names was defeated by magic. Sauron is defeated by a hobbit throwing jewelry into a fire, not by a wizard. The White Witch is defeated by children having faith in
Their final betrayal, their ultimate evil, was their refusal to exist. So there she was, a newly minted sorceress, spoiling for a fight, but there was nobody to fight and precious little to fight for.
You know, I never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so I don't know any badass moves to take out a demon. (I'm more old-school in my entertainment. I grew up watching a little movie called Monster Squad. You can catch it on cable every once and a while. Check it out.)That is a lot of set-up for one not particularly funny reference. The whole thing is like that: slow-witted, pretentious, and desperately try-hard.
So, lesson number five: like a wolf man, arch-demons have 'nards.
MacHalo Buddy ReadThe Ereshkigal Working by Jonathan L. Howard. A Johannes Cabal novella.
The Cabal I love and adore is BACK! With all the humor and NECROMANCY stuff! This is, by far, my favorite Johannes Cabal novella.