What do you think?
Rate this book
The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder
The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder is Bonnie Kaye's revised updated version of her first book "Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder." The book offers a clear, concise perspective on the topic of straight/gay marriages based on Kaye's own experience plus 25 years of counseling over 35,000 women in the United States and around the world. This is the only book of its kind which contains easy-to-use checklists that outline and reveal the tell-tale signs and personality traits of potentially gay husbands as well as a checklist for the prototype of women they consciously choose as wives. The book will help women work through the emotional turmoil they face when they suspect or learn about this news. About the
Bonnie Kaye is recognized as an international expert in this field. She acts as a consultant for major news networks and television shows including Oprah, Montel Williams, and Tyra Banks. Her websites can be viewed at www.Gayhusbands.com and www.Straightwives.com.
Kaye's other books Doomed Gay Husbands of Straight Wives ; A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men ; Straight Shattered Lives ; and How I Made My Husband Myths About Straight Wives .
Bonnie Kaye is recognized as an international expert in this field. She acts as a consultant for major news networks and television shows including Oprah, Montel Williams, and Tyra Banks. Her websites can be viewed at www.Gayhusbands.com and www.Straightwives.com.
Kaye's other books Doomed Gay Husbands of Straight Wives ; A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men ; Straight Shattered Lives ; and How I Made My Husband Myths About Straight Wives .
- GenresGay
180 pages, Paperback
First published July 23, 2008
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
Shelved as 'unread-forever'
March 28, 2015For those women who are wondering if there is a little sugar in their husband's pants, and who are unfortunately unable to purchase this remarkable tome...
_________________________
SECRETLY GAY HUSBAND:
✔ SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR PATTERN CHECKLIST ✔
1. Walks and Talks in a Stereotypically "Masculine" Manner.
2. Disinterest in Apparel, including Disinterest in Washing Jeans, Ability to Wear Same Clothes for Days at a Time, Leaving Boxers Here & There.
3. Strong Interest in Beer, including both Microbrews & Cheap-Ass Beers. Also including Home Brewing Techniques, Kegerators, St. Patrick's Day.
3a. Beer Belly.
4. Disinterest in Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry, Shopping, Feeling.
Conversely: the Ability to Mow Lawn, Throw Out Trash, Walk Dog, Work on Car, "Fix Things", Eat Food, Sleep, and Protect Mate.
5. Inability to Empathize, including Inability to provide Extended Bouts of Active Listening. Tendency towards Yelling when Angry, Retreating into Sullen Silence, Refusing to Admit Conflict Exists.
6. Current or Past Membership within a Fraternity. Including Past Participation in Beer Pong, Beer Bongs, Keg Stands, Body Shots, "Shirts-Off Parties", and/or Rounds of High-Fiving (and not including "Eiffel Towers", which are Completely Straight) during Fraternity or Fraternity-Type Frolics.
7. Any Amount of Time at Strip Clubs featuring Women. Attendance at Spring Break Parties and/or Bachelor Parties featuring Strippers and/or Girls Gone Wild. Automatic Bustline Head-Drift. An Interest in Lesbianism.
8. Friend Circle is made up of "Straight Men". Activities with "Straight" Male Peer Group can include Hunting Trips, Poker Night, Paintball, Tailgating, Pick Up Basketball, Las Vegas Trips, and Secretive "Guys' Night Out".
9. Refusing to Dress Up "Just for Fun" in Lady Garments. Refusing to Make Out with Other Blokes, except for That One Time. Refusing to Hold Hands with Another Man while Walking in the Park on a Lovely Spring Afternoon.
10. Denies Being Gay..... Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much!
_________________________
If your husband exhibits any of the above tendencies, I'm afraid I may have some troubling news for you...
_________________________
SECRETLY GAY HUSBAND:
✔ SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR PATTERN CHECKLIST ✔
1. Walks and Talks in a Stereotypically "Masculine" Manner.
2. Disinterest in Apparel, including Disinterest in Washing Jeans, Ability to Wear Same Clothes for Days at a Time, Leaving Boxers Here & There.
3. Strong Interest in Beer, including both Microbrews & Cheap-Ass Beers. Also including Home Brewing Techniques, Kegerators, St. Patrick's Day.
3a. Beer Belly.
4. Disinterest in Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry, Shopping, Feeling.
Conversely: the Ability to Mow Lawn, Throw Out Trash, Walk Dog, Work on Car, "Fix Things", Eat Food, Sleep, and Protect Mate.
5. Inability to Empathize, including Inability to provide Extended Bouts of Active Listening. Tendency towards Yelling when Angry, Retreating into Sullen Silence, Refusing to Admit Conflict Exists.
6. Current or Past Membership within a Fraternity. Including Past Participation in Beer Pong, Beer Bongs, Keg Stands, Body Shots, "Shirts-Off Parties", and/or Rounds of High-Fiving (and not including "Eiffel Towers", which are Completely Straight) during Fraternity or Fraternity-Type Frolics.
7. Any Amount of Time at Strip Clubs featuring Women. Attendance at Spring Break Parties and/or Bachelor Parties featuring Strippers and/or Girls Gone Wild. Automatic Bustline Head-Drift. An Interest in Lesbianism.
8. Friend Circle is made up of "Straight Men". Activities with "Straight" Male Peer Group can include Hunting Trips, Poker Night, Paintball, Tailgating, Pick Up Basketball, Las Vegas Trips, and Secretive "Guys' Night Out".
9. Refusing to Dress Up "Just for Fun" in Lady Garments. Refusing to Make Out with Other Blokes, except for That One Time. Refusing to Hold Hands with Another Man while Walking in the Park on a Lovely Spring Afternoon.
10. Denies Being Gay..... Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much!
_________________________
If your husband exhibits any of the above tendencies, I'm afraid I may have some troubling news for you...
Shelved as 'gotta-love-the-title'
April 19, 2012I wonder how much thought went into a title as offensive as this...
I checked out her website, and it seems that she councils couples where the woman finds out much too late that their husbands are gay.
As the wife of a gay-man-in-the closet herself, one can understand her pre-occupation with 'finding out' if a potential partner is gay or not.
But how about she rather writes a book investigating the entire issue of why it should be necessary to find out via a checklist if a person is gay or not, and of why society is persecuting gay people to the extent that they have to live such an elaborately deceptive life that you have to make use of a checklist to find out if they are gay or not.
Actually, she does seem to give some advice that isn't too bad... check out what she says here:
http://www.gayhusbands.com/coming-out...
Still, gee, I think she could have chosen her title better.
...and that there should even be a book or a website or a councillor like this, just shows how 'traditional' mores are hurting society and are hurting PEOPLE.
I checked out her website, and it seems that she councils couples where the woman finds out much too late that their husbands are gay.
As the wife of a gay-man-in-the closet herself, one can understand her pre-occupation with 'finding out' if a potential partner is gay or not.
But how about she rather writes a book investigating the entire issue of why it should be necessary to find out via a checklist if a person is gay or not, and of why society is persecuting gay people to the extent that they have to live such an elaborately deceptive life that you have to make use of a checklist to find out if they are gay or not.
Actually, she does seem to give some advice that isn't too bad... check out what she says here:
http://www.gayhusbands.com/coming-out...
Still, gee, I think she could have chosen her title better.
...and that there should even be a book or a website or a councillor like this, just shows how 'traditional' mores are hurting society and are hurting PEOPLE.
April 19, 2021
Very Blunt and informative
I want to thank the author for writing a book that doesn't sugar coat the reality. I appreciate your bluntness
I want to thank the author for writing a book that doesn't sugar coat the reality. I appreciate your bluntness
March 20, 2016
This book and its author are both a mess. When she's not talking out of both sides of her mouth, she's contradicting herself.
She says she doesn't believe in traditional counseling, but she calls herself a counseling expert.
On one hand she'll say these men are in denial about who they are, and in the next breath, she'll call them liars and deceivers. How can you be lying and be in denial at the same time? She doesn't know what denial means. But she's a counseling expert.
She'll say she believes these men genuinely loved their wives when they got married, and in the next breath she'll call them all narcissists and sociopaths. She calls herself the expert and leading authority on these marriages, but she's not a narcissist herself. (Projection much, lady?)
She'll say she truly believes these men got married with the best of intentions, and then in the next breath, she thinks they should be sued for committing marital fraud. She actually wants to get a law passed for that. But she says she is the most sympathetic and understanding person in the world when it comes to LGBT issues.
Gay and bisexual men: you better figure yourselves out before you get married! Because if you don't, that means you were a lying narcissistic gay man in denial about being a lying narcissistic gay man when you believed you genuinely loved your wife, and she's gonna sue your *ss off for not becoming self-aware in time. That's because she's the most sympathetic and expert counselor in the world.
If you read her varying bios, you will see that she claims to have single-handedly counseled somewhere between 30,000 and 100,000 women, in her free time and without pay! She was able to accomplish this because she's the world's leading expert counselor who doesn't believe in counseling and is also not a narcissist at the same time.
Can you imagine the Hell she put her husband through? She be one great big ball o' crazy. You gotta feel sorry for anyone naive enough who goes to her for help.
She says she doesn't believe in traditional counseling, but she calls herself a counseling expert.
On one hand she'll say these men are in denial about who they are, and in the next breath, she'll call them liars and deceivers. How can you be lying and be in denial at the same time? She doesn't know what denial means. But she's a counseling expert.
She'll say she believes these men genuinely loved their wives when they got married, and in the next breath she'll call them all narcissists and sociopaths. She calls herself the expert and leading authority on these marriages, but she's not a narcissist herself. (Projection much, lady?)
She'll say she truly believes these men got married with the best of intentions, and then in the next breath, she thinks they should be sued for committing marital fraud. She actually wants to get a law passed for that. But she says she is the most sympathetic and understanding person in the world when it comes to LGBT issues.
Gay and bisexual men: you better figure yourselves out before you get married! Because if you don't, that means you were a lying narcissistic gay man in denial about being a lying narcissistic gay man when you believed you genuinely loved your wife, and she's gonna sue your *ss off for not becoming self-aware in time. That's because she's the most sympathetic and expert counselor in the world.
If you read her varying bios, you will see that she claims to have single-handedly counseled somewhere between 30,000 and 100,000 women, in her free time and without pay! She was able to accomplish this because she's the world's leading expert counselor who doesn't believe in counseling and is also not a narcissist at the same time.
Can you imagine the Hell she put her husband through? She be one great big ball o' crazy. You gotta feel sorry for anyone naive enough who goes to her for help.
October 15, 2017
One of the worst things I've ever read. Actually, that's not accurate, because I wasn't able to finish it. I thought this would help me understand some of the dynamics in my sister's family, but it made me start to hate all gay men and lesbians, even the ones I don't know. I had to throw it away or I would have started to believe the stuff in this book.
She says gay men and women find it easier to lie because they spend their entire lives lying about who they are and so it becomes natural to them.
She says gay men and women have lower morals than straight people.
She says she's not homophobic.
She had both a gay husband and a lesbian daughter, and that's how she knows that being gay is genetic, like a birth defect, passed down to her daughter from her husband.
She says for a gay man, a long-term relationship is one that lasts a whole week.
She says she is very pro-gay, and she believes it about herself.
She says if a straight woman marries a gay man, he will eventually bring home an STD and give it to her.
She says she is not homophobic.
She brags to other straight wives that she has had a soulmate for more than ten years now, but we don't, because we're still married to our gay husbands.
She says all gay men are pressured exactly the same, and no gay man is more pressured than any other gay man. She doesn't say how she knows this, or how many men she interviewed from the Middle East, or Malaysia, or China, or the southern USA vs the east or west coasts.
She says gay men and women are narcissistic, and they become narcissists because of all the lies they tell.
She says she has personally counseled more than 100,000 women and "thousands" of gay men.
She says she has more experience with counseling for these relationships than any other person in the nation (including Dr Phil?), but she's not a narcissist herself.
She says she doesn't believe gay men are in denial, they're just lying, because most of them know by the time they're 5 or 6 years old.
She says she wishes there could be a clock that would make gay people come out by their 21st birthday.
She swears she's not homophobic, and you're being judgmental if you don't believe her.
She says she doesn't like to label anybody, but she invented labels like "Straight Gay" and "Limbo Gay" and "Dry Gay" and "Gay Gay." But those aren't labels, they're categories.
She says she isn't homophobic at all, she says she believes she is the least homophobic person, because she had a lesbian daughter, and that's why you should believe her that she's not homophobic.
She says the LGBT community needs to take responsibility for closeted gay people they don't know about.
She says women need to become sexually active early and often, so you can figure out what kind of sex you like, and to walk away from a man who can't do that for you.
She says she's not a nymphomaniac and she's not homophobic either.
She says it's okay to walk away from a relationship at any time, rather than work at it, especially if your man isn't giving you enough "good" sex.
She wants gay men to wear a big pink P on their shirts so that everybody will know.
She says she's not homophobic.
She says terms like "asexual" and "bisexual" and "pansexual" and "transexual" are too confusing, because there's too many of them, so she came up with her own term for all of it: "P-man." Men who aren't straight can say they are a "penis man" because they like penis, and that way it keeps everything simple.
She says that's not homophobic, and the gay community needs to be educated about these things.
She says she wishes gay children could figure out their sexuality by the time they are 5 years old so that they wouldn't confuse straight people by the time they grow up.
She says she doesn't understand female homosexuality, only male homosexuality, even though her own daughter was a lesbian.
I couldn't finish this book all the way through. She was making me start to hate gay and lesbian people, even my niece and my brother in law, and that's something I had never felt before in my life until I started reading this book. Once I set the book in the trash and carried it out to the dumpster, I began to feel better again.
She says gay men and women find it easier to lie because they spend their entire lives lying about who they are and so it becomes natural to them.
She says gay men and women have lower morals than straight people.
She says she's not homophobic.
She had both a gay husband and a lesbian daughter, and that's how she knows that being gay is genetic, like a birth defect, passed down to her daughter from her husband.
She says for a gay man, a long-term relationship is one that lasts a whole week.
She says she is very pro-gay, and she believes it about herself.
She says if a straight woman marries a gay man, he will eventually bring home an STD and give it to her.
She says she is not homophobic.
She brags to other straight wives that she has had a soulmate for more than ten years now, but we don't, because we're still married to our gay husbands.
She says all gay men are pressured exactly the same, and no gay man is more pressured than any other gay man. She doesn't say how she knows this, or how many men she interviewed from the Middle East, or Malaysia, or China, or the southern USA vs the east or west coasts.
She says gay men and women are narcissistic, and they become narcissists because of all the lies they tell.
She says she has personally counseled more than 100,000 women and "thousands" of gay men.
She says she has more experience with counseling for these relationships than any other person in the nation (including Dr Phil?), but she's not a narcissist herself.
She says she doesn't believe gay men are in denial, they're just lying, because most of them know by the time they're 5 or 6 years old.
She says she wishes there could be a clock that would make gay people come out by their 21st birthday.
She swears she's not homophobic, and you're being judgmental if you don't believe her.
She says she doesn't like to label anybody, but she invented labels like "Straight Gay" and "Limbo Gay" and "Dry Gay" and "Gay Gay." But those aren't labels, they're categories.
She says she isn't homophobic at all, she says she believes she is the least homophobic person, because she had a lesbian daughter, and that's why you should believe her that she's not homophobic.
She says the LGBT community needs to take responsibility for closeted gay people they don't know about.
She says women need to become sexually active early and often, so you can figure out what kind of sex you like, and to walk away from a man who can't do that for you.
She says she's not a nymphomaniac and she's not homophobic either.
She says it's okay to walk away from a relationship at any time, rather than work at it, especially if your man isn't giving you enough "good" sex.
She wants gay men to wear a big pink P on their shirts so that everybody will know.
She says she's not homophobic.
She says terms like "asexual" and "bisexual" and "pansexual" and "transexual" are too confusing, because there's too many of them, so she came up with her own term for all of it: "P-man." Men who aren't straight can say they are a "penis man" because they like penis, and that way it keeps everything simple.
She says that's not homophobic, and the gay community needs to be educated about these things.
She says she wishes gay children could figure out their sexuality by the time they are 5 years old so that they wouldn't confuse straight people by the time they grow up.
She says she doesn't understand female homosexuality, only male homosexuality, even though her own daughter was a lesbian.
I couldn't finish this book all the way through. She was making me start to hate gay and lesbian people, even my niece and my brother in law, and that's something I had never felt before in my life until I started reading this book. Once I set the book in the trash and carried it out to the dumpster, I began to feel better again.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews