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Audiobook
First published May 3, 2022
Our family has always loved fairy tales. There is something ugly and true in them. They hurt, they are strange, but we cannot stop reading them, over and over.
”Not all pain is worth it,” said Tipper. “Some pain is just pain.”
I am vain and consumed with my own internal life, drunk on the hot liquor of the desire for parental approval, desperate for love and validation, self-mutilated, seeing my sisters as competition.
Bloody.
Don’t pretend you would never hurt anybody.
Penny— reaches out to take my hand like she did when we were kids.
She used to reach for my hand when Harris was mad at us, when we had to recite poems for Nana and Grandpa, when Tipper was late to pick us up from dance class, while we sat together on the boat and saw Beechwood Island emerge from the empty expanse of the sea.
We hold hands now, and wait.
Blindfold me and I’d recognize the feel of his hands on me, the scent of his neck, the curve of his shoulders under my palms.