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Lost Boys #1
Where There's a Will
He was everything I never wanted.
Impulsive. Careless. Self-Destructive.
I'm the cliché they all warn you about.
The head case with a pretty face.
If I'm not chasing the bottom of a bottle,
I'm snorting a line off a girl's ass.
That guy you know who plays Russian Roulette at parties?
That's me.
But that all changes when he comes barreling back into my life.
Will Foster.
The boy from my childhood.
The boy I told myself was a fluke.
A mistake.
Nothing.
It's only a matter of time before he learns the truth.
Before he sees me for who I really am under all the bullshit.
Broken.
Tainted.
Worthless.
He wants to love me whole, but shouldn't he know better than that by now?
Saving someone who doesn't want to be saved is a recipe for disaster...
And loving someone who doesn't want to be loved?
Fucking hopeless.
* Where There’s A Will is a full-length, slow-burn, emotional MM romance novel. The story continues in If There’s A Way, coming 5.13.22. This duet deals with heavy topics that may be triggering for some readers.
Impulsive. Careless. Self-Destructive.
I'm the cliché they all warn you about.
The head case with a pretty face.
If I'm not chasing the bottom of a bottle,
I'm snorting a line off a girl's ass.
That guy you know who plays Russian Roulette at parties?
That's me.
But that all changes when he comes barreling back into my life.
Will Foster.
The boy from my childhood.
The boy I told myself was a fluke.
A mistake.
Nothing.
It's only a matter of time before he learns the truth.
Before he sees me for who I really am under all the bullshit.
Broken.
Tainted.
Worthless.
He wants to love me whole, but shouldn't he know better than that by now?
Saving someone who doesn't want to be saved is a recipe for disaster...
And loving someone who doesn't want to be loved?
Fucking hopeless.
* Where There’s A Will is a full-length, slow-burn, emotional MM romance novel. The story continues in If There’s A Way, coming 5.13.22. This duet deals with heavy topics that may be triggering for some readers.
503 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 15, 2021
About the author
Jessie Walker
13 books1,010 followersJessie Walker is an indie author of queer love stories based out of Scranton, Pennsylvania, where she lives with her long-time partner and fur-spawn. Drawn to all things dark and twisted, she likes to pretend she's not the hopeless romantic at heart that she is. She has ADHD and a background in psychology/mental health services, both of which contribute greatly to her storytelling and the themes of her long-winded, character-driven works. When she's not drudging away at a keyboard, there's a very good chance you'll find her vegged out on her couch, listening to sad '90s grunge, and day dreamin’ about the all the stories crowding her brain.
Random Facts About Me
Scorpio Sun | Aries Moon | Scorpio Rising
The most socially anxious ENFP you'll ever meet.
Chaotic AF because decisioning and planning is hard.
Random Facts About Me
Scorpio Sun | Aries Moon | Scorpio Rising
The most socially anxious ENFP you'll ever meet.
Chaotic AF because decisioning and planning is hard.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 738 reviews
November 4, 2023
3/5
This book was pure pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 AND the cliffhanger at the end.
This book was pure pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 pain 🤛🏻 AND the cliffhanger at the end.
March 9, 2023
|| 1.0 star ||
At first I honestly wasn't sure if I even wanted to write this review. Almost all of my friends seem to have completely adored this book, and I didn't really feel like being the negative twat raining on everyone's parade. But well, I guess I'm nothing if not brutally honestly, so here we go...
Look, my first problem with this whole thing was that I personally just didn’t buy it. I’m all for second-chance love stories but these guys were ELEVEN when they last saw each other. Like, come on. ELEVEN!!! No matter what this book might try to convince me of, and no matter what might have happened between them, NOTHING is just that deep at ELEVEN years old. And the fact that all they did was give each other a tiny kiss at ELEVEN and then they already had their falling out?? That was literally it! That was their whole “history” and nothing about it was special.
I definitely wasn’t buying this obsessive love they had for each other or this unreasonable hatred that Way seemed to feel towards Will. I mean, I’ll just say it once more, just to truly emphasize the point: They were ELEVEN! And have not seen each other for TEN YEARS!! They should not be having such intense feelings towards each other merely based on the past, without even reconnecting or having built something new and more meaningful between them. No. I’m really not buying it.
Also, oh my god, the inner monologue? Let’s calm down with that, okay? Because it was just too much. There is a minimal amount of dialogue and I just got bored with the monotonous and gloomy thoughts going on inside these guys’ heads. It was repetitive, slow-going, and boring. Sorry, but it was! I honestly couldn’t help but skim.
This wasn’t fun, which was to be expected considering the mood of the book. But it also wasn’t emotional to me, since, once again, I wasn’t buying it, and their whole hate/love dynamic was just Way being a major drama queen with a surly attitude and Will being a pathetic simp.
Their entire relationship was truly ridiculous. They didn’t know each other, they didn’t have a connection: they were just two strangers who refused to actually speak to each other. And the rare instances they did interact with each other were spend with Way hurling insults at Will and giving out hostile vibes. It was absurd. They never had a meaningful moment, nothing about them made sense. Why was I supposed to think this is some deep epic love story? It wasn’t. It was toxic at best, but in reality it was just utterly unbelievable.
Way’s treatment of Will wasn’t cute, and he needed to get a grip. I know he has his own trauma, but seriously, fuck this guy. His behaviour was horrendous, and I have no clue why anyone would want to stick around and be his punching bag.
Which leads me to Will: I definitely did not respect his willingness to make due with each scrap of attention he got or his acceptance of being treated like literal roadkill. Stand up for yourself, dude. It’s embarrassing.
Also, does EVERYONE need to have some big trauma going on in this book? Jeez, let’s take a breather y’all, cus the angst and drama is stifling. I would complain about them all brooding and fighting constantly, but the whole atmosphere was so depressing, I’d honestly be brooding 24/7 too if I were them.
Lastly, this book was honestly way too long. Absolutely nothing happened and it just dragged on and on. Yet you’re telling me there’s still a whole entire sequel about them? No. No thank you.
At first I honestly wasn't sure if I even wanted to write this review. Almost all of my friends seem to have completely adored this book, and I didn't really feel like being the negative twat raining on everyone's parade. But well, I guess I'm nothing if not brutally honestly, so here we go...
Look, my first problem with this whole thing was that I personally just didn’t buy it. I’m all for second-chance love stories but these guys were ELEVEN when they last saw each other. Like, come on. ELEVEN!!! No matter what this book might try to convince me of, and no matter what might have happened between them, NOTHING is just that deep at ELEVEN years old. And the fact that all they did was give each other a tiny kiss at ELEVEN and then they already had their falling out?? That was literally it! That was their whole “history” and nothing about it was special.
I definitely wasn’t buying this obsessive love they had for each other or this unreasonable hatred that Way seemed to feel towards Will. I mean, I’ll just say it once more, just to truly emphasize the point: They were ELEVEN! And have not seen each other for TEN YEARS!! They should not be having such intense feelings towards each other merely based on the past, without even reconnecting or having built something new and more meaningful between them. No. I’m really not buying it.
Also, oh my god, the inner monologue? Let’s calm down with that, okay? Because it was just too much. There is a minimal amount of dialogue and I just got bored with the monotonous and gloomy thoughts going on inside these guys’ heads. It was repetitive, slow-going, and boring. Sorry, but it was! I honestly couldn’t help but skim.
This wasn’t fun, which was to be expected considering the mood of the book. But it also wasn’t emotional to me, since, once again, I wasn’t buying it, and their whole hate/love dynamic was just Way being a major drama queen with a surly attitude and Will being a pathetic simp.
Their entire relationship was truly ridiculous. They didn’t know each other, they didn’t have a connection: they were just two strangers who refused to actually speak to each other. And the rare instances they did interact with each other were spend with Way hurling insults at Will and giving out hostile vibes. It was absurd. They never had a meaningful moment, nothing about them made sense. Why was I supposed to think this is some deep epic love story? It wasn’t. It was toxic at best, but in reality it was just utterly unbelievable.
“It’s like you like being my own personal punching bag. It’s like you want me to hurt you.”
Way’s treatment of Will wasn’t cute, and he needed to get a grip. I know he has his own trauma, but seriously, fuck this guy. His behaviour was horrendous, and I have no clue why anyone would want to stick around and be his punching bag.
Which leads me to Will: I definitely did not respect his willingness to make due with each scrap of attention he got or his acceptance of being treated like literal roadkill. Stand up for yourself, dude. It’s embarrassing.
Also, does EVERYONE need to have some big trauma going on in this book? Jeez, let’s take a breather y’all, cus the angst and drama is stifling. I would complain about them all brooding and fighting constantly, but the whole atmosphere was so depressing, I’d honestly be brooding 24/7 too if I were them.
Lastly, this book was honestly way too long. Absolutely nothing happened and it just dragged on and on. Yet you’re telling me there’s still a whole entire sequel about them? No. No thank you.
September 9, 2023
🥀 reread (2): september 2023
“We were always going to end up here, weren’t we?” My voice is barely above a whisper.
He shrugs. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” He smirks knowingly. “Kind of inevitable, wouldn’t you say?”
I huff through my nose and look down. “More like doomed.”
He flicks my nose. “Buzz kill.”
I grip the back of his skull, and pull him toward me, pressing my forehead to his. “Cheesy.”
He smiles against my lips. “Grumpy.”
“Hopeless,” I breathe into a soft kiss.
More.
All I want is more more more.
and there i go again, thinking books that bring me pain give me so much comfort... then again, they kinda make me go through all the feels and i love them for that. anyway, will & way have gone through so much and i just want them to be happy. 🥹 i still absolutely detest how way treated will sometimes, like, i physically flinched at some of the shit he said. but his past and the things he’d gone through because of his dad? i could cry. that shit is so painful. and will is just the most patient person ever cause i could never deal with someone like way without losing my cool. 😭
but anyway, both of them are just my precious boys. no matter how much they hurt each other, i know the all-consuming way they love each other in their heart of hearts and that’s all that counts in my eyes. ever since they were eleven, will following way around, way trying to be cool for will’s sake, their innocent first kiss, the fallout - i never found that overdramatic, even with how way dealt with it. could he have dealt with it better? yes. but he was coping in his own way, suppressing all that trauma, telling himself “i’m fine” even when he wasn’t. no wonder he held such a grudge against will - it wasn’t because of what happened, really, more cause of the emotions will evoked in him that he’d tried so hard to remove, to stay unflappable and cold and unfeeling. and their moments together when they were little will never not break me i swear. 😔💔
both of them truly belong together in my eyes. with all the shit they put each other through, no wonder they’re perfect for each other. 🥺 and shawn and phoebe literally already have my heart, cannot wait to see how their story goes!! but masonjer - i’m so fucking scared, especially after my reread, because i’ll wanna know for sure that jeremy is IT for mason and idk if i’ll think that when mason grieved so passionately for izzy. :/ it’s kinda sad really, thinking about it, especially after now knowing parts of iz’s story as well.
🥀 reread (1): march 2023
this duet will never not have the power to wreck me. i love it so much. the angst, the emotions, the writing, the characters, the way everything is depicted?? chefs kiss. 🥺 the found family in this was superior. i just cherish them (will + way of course, but also all the side characters - mason, jeremy, ivy and shawn have my entire heart) sm. 🥰 now lemme just prepare myself with some more tissues for book two, brb 🏃♀️
🥀 original read: november 2022
definition of soulmates fr. truly made for each other, ever since they were little children, if not for way’s fucking dad (if you can’t tell already, i wanna kill him). and the way will forces way to let down his guard only just with him, to be vulnerable, to show his true feelings? 🥺 i swear will’s truly the light of way’s life, and it was so endearing to see. i just love them so much 🥹
“We were always going to end up here, weren’t we?” My voice is barely above a whisper.
He shrugs. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” He smirks knowingly. “Kind of inevitable, wouldn’t you say?”
I huff through my nose and look down. “More like doomed.”
He flicks my nose. “Buzz kill.”
I grip the back of his skull, and pull him toward me, pressing my forehead to his. “Cheesy.”
He smiles against my lips. “Grumpy.”
“Hopeless,” I breathe into a soft kiss.
More.
All I want is more more more.
and there i go again, thinking books that bring me pain give me so much comfort... then again, they kinda make me go through all the feels and i love them for that. anyway, will & way have gone through so much and i just want them to be happy. 🥹 i still absolutely detest how way treated will sometimes, like, i physically flinched at some of the shit he said. but his past and the things he’d gone through because of his dad? i could cry. that shit is so painful. and will is just the most patient person ever cause i could never deal with someone like way without losing my cool. 😭
but anyway, both of them are just my precious boys. no matter how much they hurt each other, i know the all-consuming way they love each other in their heart of hearts and that’s all that counts in my eyes. ever since they were eleven, will following way around, way trying to be cool for will’s sake, their innocent first kiss, the fallout - i never found that overdramatic, even with how way dealt with it. could he have dealt with it better? yes. but he was coping in his own way, suppressing all that trauma, telling himself “i’m fine” even when he wasn’t. no wonder he held such a grudge against will - it wasn’t because of what happened, really, more cause of the emotions will evoked in him that he’d tried so hard to remove, to stay unflappable and cold and unfeeling. and their moments together when they were little will never not break me i swear. 😔💔
both of them truly belong together in my eyes. with all the shit they put each other through, no wonder they’re perfect for each other. 🥺 and shawn and phoebe literally already have my heart, cannot wait to see how their story goes!! but masonjer - i’m so fucking scared, especially after my reread, because i’ll wanna know for sure that jeremy is IT for mason and idk if i’ll think that when mason grieved so passionately for izzy. :/ it’s kinda sad really, thinking about it, especially after now knowing parts of iz’s story as well.
🥀 reread (1): march 2023
❝will and way. we’re a team. always.❞
a single nod.
a firm squeeze of my pinky.
then a whisper, a promise -
❝always.❞
this duet will never not have the power to wreck me. i love it so much. the angst, the emotions, the writing, the characters, the way everything is depicted?? chefs kiss. 🥺 the found family in this was superior. i just cherish them (will + way of course, but also all the side characters - mason, jeremy, ivy and shawn have my entire heart) sm. 🥰 now lemme just prepare myself with some more tissues for book two, brb 🏃♀️
🥀 original read: november 2022
i. kiss. him.
this boy.
my best friend.
i kiss him.
his eyes remain wide and unblinking, finally, finally locked on my own. our mouths are pressed together firmly. we’re chest to chest, heart to heart, and i wonder if his burns like mine.
definition of soulmates fr. truly made for each other, ever since they were little children, if not for way’s fucking dad (if you can’t tell already, i wanna kill him). and the way will forces way to let down his guard only just with him, to be vulnerable, to show his true feelings? 🥺 i swear will’s truly the light of way’s life, and it was so endearing to see. i just love them so much 🥹
![Profile Image for moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1645500038i/37448930._UX200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg)
February 14, 2022
I quickly swipe the bottle from him. ❝Sharing is caring.❞
❝My bad, Grumpy Bear,❞ he murmurs.
I force another eye roll, ignoring the way my cheeks heat. It's just the fucking whiskey.
❝Don't call me that.❞
this book fucked me up (in a good way). i felt so much for the characters, the story had me invested and the writing was hauntingly beautiful.
I NEED BOOK 2 NOW, PLEASE.
ps. i hope Mason, Shawn, Jeremy and Ivy will have their own stories. i was intrigued by them and would love to see their own happy endings. 🥺
❝My bad, Grumpy Bear,❞ he murmurs.
I force another eye roll, ignoring the way my cheeks heat. It's just the fucking whiskey.
❝Don't call me that.❞
this book fucked me up (in a good way). i felt so much for the characters, the story had me invested and the writing was hauntingly beautiful.
I NEED BOOK 2 NOW, PLEASE.
ps. i hope Mason, Shawn, Jeremy and Ivy will have their own stories. i was intrigued by them and would love to see their own happy endings. 🥺
July 7, 2022
"maybe the only inevitability when it comes to us is, and always will be, heartbreak."
✦ this was angsty, painful and just delicious.
✦ this had a lot of amazing characters, with interesting personalities and intriguing backstories.
✦ the writing was great, the whole feel and vibe of the story was painfully beautiful and it was really easy to get invested.
✦ a lot of heavy topics in this book, but the way they're portrayed and discussed was very well done in my opinion.
✦ i saw that cliffy coming from a mile away, but still, i guess i have to go to read book 2 now huh...
✦ this was angsty, painful and just delicious.
✦ this had a lot of amazing characters, with interesting personalities and intriguing backstories.
✦ the writing was great, the whole feel and vibe of the story was painfully beautiful and it was really easy to get invested.
✦ a lot of heavy topics in this book, but the way they're portrayed and discussed was very well done in my opinion.
✦ i saw that cliffy coming from a mile away, but still, i guess i have to go to read book 2 now huh...
October 19, 2021
Oh wow. This was a meal of angst with a side of angst and angst for dessert. It was heavy. The writing was so easy to fall into and the characters rooted their way into my heart immediately. My heart sank when I read that we have to wait until winter 2022 for the sequel! I thought that maybe my eyes were misleading me due to all the tears but alas, it was the truth!!! I’ll be over here counting the days, I cannot wait to be reunited with all of these characters.
“I hate you.” If this is hate, baby, I think, licking across his teeth, I don’t know if I’d survive your love.
“I hate you.” If this is hate, baby, I think, licking across his teeth, I don’t know if I’d survive your love.
October 18, 2021
This is why I don’t read books with cliffhangers. I have zero patience
March 7, 2024
***4.0 rating***
The ending has me fucked up.😭😭😭
Onto book 2.
The ending has me fucked up.😭😭😭
Onto book 2.
Want to read
July 3, 2024 Alright, I've seen the love and pain for this book and it's with great pleasure that I announce I'm add this to my currently reading pile to see what it's all about. 🤍
“There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn. Before the clock speeds up, and the world goes on spinning without you, you either pull yourself out in time to catch up, or you get left behind.”
“There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn. Before the clock speeds up, and the world goes on spinning without you, you either pull yourself out in time to catch up, or you get left behind.”
May 23, 2022
4.5 ⭐️ Check out authors Instagram for playlist and aesthetics! 🔥
Way, Way, Way…….
- gritty small towns
- childhood friends to enemies to lovers
- intense steamy scenes
- tight knit friend circles
- 90s grunge music
- characters that feel like real people
- push/pull
- boys that play drums with ridiculously sexy dimples
- aaaangst
Check TWs! This is not a light read.
Way, Way, Way…….
- gritty small towns
- childhood friends to enemies to lovers
- intense steamy scenes
- tight knit friend circles
- 90s grunge music
- characters that feel like real people
- push/pull
- boys that play drums with ridiculously sexy dimples
- aaaangst
Check TWs! This is not a light read.
March 24, 2022
Reread March 2022
How did I feel after finishing this masterpiece? I think Olaf from Frozen said it best, "Oh look at that, I've been impaled."
10 out of 5 stars for this heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, rip my hair out, bawl my eyes out debut novel! I repeat, DEBUT novel. Mind-freaking-blown!
"He smiles and something seems to… crack right open inside me"
I would absolutely call this one the definition of a slowburn. So if that's your cup of tea, pick it up. You will not be disappointed. Also, if you like angst to the max, this 👏🏾 is 👏🏾for 👏🏾you!
Before we proceed, caution: this book may cause a severe book hangover. Like weeks worth. Also this is not a standalone; it is book one of the Lost Boys Duet. Alsooo please heed the trigger warnings 🖤
Anyways, if you can't already tell, I FREAKING LOVED THIS BOOK! I can't express how much I loved this book in actual words so... asdfghjkkl!!!!!! Ever since Jessie Walker started teasing about it on her Instagram page I was intrigued because MM, Second-chance, Childhood best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angsty AF?! TAKE. MY. MONEY. When I tell you she delivered everything and more!? Dayum 🥲
"I suppose the fates are laughing now at the poetic justice of it all. Because who else would be able to demolish my walls other than the boy who set their construction in motion in the first place?"
The only thing I'll say in terms of a recap is that this book centers around Will Foster and Waylon McAllister who were friends at the age of 10/11, but due to dire circumstances had a falling out. And when I say dire, I mean dire. That's it. That's all I'll say 😅
My heart broke for these two beautiful babies over and over again. Grief and loss are two central themes in this story, and it begins with this air of sadness. You feel it. It seeps into you right from the beginning, only letting up a few times. While the angst is angsty, it's not all-consuming to the point that it detracts from the beauty of the life and love story being portrayed. The angst is not overwhelming to the point of exhaustion. It's perfect. It's real. It's raw. It's not romanticized or hurried. And what a breath of fresh air it was to read a book that isn't rushed so that all the loose ends can be tied up quickly, or places a massive weight on the neck of one character to somehow fix the issues of the other through kisses; albethey life-altering. There was space for self-healing.
Honestly this is much more than a romance book. It's a story of redemption and healing and friendships. BUT the chemistry between Will and Way?!?! OUT OF THIS WORLD. So much pining, so much longing, so freaking combustible!
"Way and Will, Will and Way, and how it should have always been. Two halves of a fucking whole."
Lest I forget, shoutout to the way she portrayed the secondary characters. Each of them is so intriguing, you're rooting for all of them! You want to know more about their stories. They are not caricatures. I loved that so much!
"Perhaps this is what it means to find company in misery. It’s not so much a common ground, as it is a curse. We’re not trying to understand one another, we just can’t help but do."
Jessie Walker, who I am convinced is a sorcerer because her words are magic, builds this gripping story of the inevitability of heartbreak in first love, and the opportunity for a second-chance. We see two boys who just want to love each other in a shitty world that hinders them at every turn, and all you want to do is wrap them up in bubble wrap, shield them from all the thorns, and see them reach their happily ever after. Please god, let it be an HEA for these boys! 🖤🖤
I am desperate for book 2 like a person who just spent days in the desert is desperate for water. And if anyone happens to be looking for me, I'm on my way to camp in front of the author's home like a stalker. Don't ask why 🤡
tl;dr, this book is gold! READ. IT.
How did I feel after finishing this masterpiece? I think Olaf from Frozen said it best, "Oh look at that, I've been impaled."
10 out of 5 stars for this heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, rip my hair out, bawl my eyes out debut novel! I repeat, DEBUT novel. Mind-freaking-blown!
"He smiles and something seems to… crack right open inside me"
I would absolutely call this one the definition of a slowburn. So if that's your cup of tea, pick it up. You will not be disappointed. Also, if you like angst to the max, this 👏🏾 is 👏🏾for 👏🏾you!
Before we proceed, caution: this book may cause a severe book hangover. Like weeks worth. Also this is not a standalone; it is book one of the Lost Boys Duet. Alsooo please heed the trigger warnings 🖤
Anyways, if you can't already tell, I FREAKING LOVED THIS BOOK! I can't express how much I loved this book in actual words so... asdfghjkkl!!!!!! Ever since Jessie Walker started teasing about it on her Instagram page I was intrigued because MM, Second-chance, Childhood best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angsty AF?! TAKE. MY. MONEY. When I tell you she delivered everything and more!? Dayum 🥲
"I suppose the fates are laughing now at the poetic justice of it all. Because who else would be able to demolish my walls other than the boy who set their construction in motion in the first place?"
The only thing I'll say in terms of a recap is that this book centers around Will Foster and Waylon McAllister who were friends at the age of 10/11, but due to dire circumstances had a falling out. And when I say dire, I mean dire. That's it. That's all I'll say 😅
My heart broke for these two beautiful babies over and over again. Grief and loss are two central themes in this story, and it begins with this air of sadness. You feel it. It seeps into you right from the beginning, only letting up a few times. While the angst is angsty, it's not all-consuming to the point that it detracts from the beauty of the life and love story being portrayed. The angst is not overwhelming to the point of exhaustion. It's perfect. It's real. It's raw. It's not romanticized or hurried. And what a breath of fresh air it was to read a book that isn't rushed so that all the loose ends can be tied up quickly, or places a massive weight on the neck of one character to somehow fix the issues of the other through kisses; albethey life-altering. There was space for self-healing.
Honestly this is much more than a romance book. It's a story of redemption and healing and friendships. BUT the chemistry between Will and Way?!?! OUT OF THIS WORLD. So much pining, so much longing, so freaking combustible!
"Way and Will, Will and Way, and how it should have always been. Two halves of a fucking whole."
Lest I forget, shoutout to the way she portrayed the secondary characters. Each of them is so intriguing, you're rooting for all of them! You want to know more about their stories. They are not caricatures. I loved that so much!
"Perhaps this is what it means to find company in misery. It’s not so much a common ground, as it is a curse. We’re not trying to understand one another, we just can’t help but do."
Jessie Walker, who I am convinced is a sorcerer because her words are magic, builds this gripping story of the inevitability of heartbreak in first love, and the opportunity for a second-chance. We see two boys who just want to love each other in a shitty world that hinders them at every turn, and all you want to do is wrap them up in bubble wrap, shield them from all the thorns, and see them reach their happily ever after. Please god, let it be an HEA for these boys! 🖤🖤
I am desperate for book 2 like a person who just spent days in the desert is desperate for water. And if anyone happens to be looking for me, I'm on my way to camp in front of the author's home like a stalker. Don't ask why 🤡
tl;dr, this book is gold! READ. IT.
May 13, 2022
"Seconds. That's all it takes for life as I know it to implode."
I have just finished Where There's a Will which is a DEBUT NOVEL by Jessie Walker and holy crap I am destroyed by the writing, the story, the feels, these boys 🖤🖤.
It's no secret to anyone who follows my reviews that I am a sucker for an angsty MM book. I love enemies to lovers, slow burn, push-and-pull, second chance, childhood friends to enemies - and this absolute gem of a book has them all in spades. I absolutely adored it. Will and Way were totally divine and all of the secondary characters completely worthy of their own books. Please Jessie Walker 💗.
There's some steamy scenes for sure 🔥🔥����, but it's so much more than just a steamy MM book. Some really hard-hitting, heavy topics are intrinsic to the story and some weighty triggers to note before diving in head first. But if you do dive in, it's sooo worth it. I literally couldn't put it down.
"See something you like?" I whisper before I can stop myself. He flinches back like I've slapped him, eyes going wide and terrified. Shit. Face beat fucking red, a snarl forms on his lips as he grits out slowly, "I'm not gay."
Ugggghhhhhh. Where There's a Will is out NOW and seriously, I suggest you read it right away! But be prepared to have your heart completely schmooshed - this is book one in a duet. Book 2 will be out in early 2022.
"Because in the end, the only thing we have to fear in the dark are the things we run from in the light of day."
Highly Recommended 🖤
5 Amazing Debut stars ✨✨✨✨✨
Read
October 30, 2021dnf @ 33%
i wish i cared.
i wish i cared.
April 30, 2024
"Where there's a will, there's a way, right?"
Will Foster is back in his hometown.
The place he never thought he would return to.
The place with all the memories he has tried to get over.
And the one person tied to all those memories.
Waylon McAllister.
And what happens when all the memories come right back up?
Will they be able to survive the past?
Or will they drown in the present?
"Feeling is the last thing I want to do when it comes to Will Foster."
Jessie Walker set out to break our hearts with this duet - I am absolutely sure of it!
This is full of angst, pain, memories, and heartbreak and I ate it up and left no crumbs.
Will and Way already have a place in my heart and I don't think they are getting out any time soon.
Jessie Walkers writing is absolutely magical - I have no other way of explaining it - and I cannot wait to continue with the Lost Boys!
"He is, and has always been, my one exception."
Will Foster comes back to his hometown filled with memories and nightmares and runs into Mason, a guy he knew when he grew up here. The one person he did not count on running into was Waylan McAllister. His childhood best friend. But now? Just a stranger.
Will's story from the beginning breaks your heart. I mean Jessie Walker just hits you with it and is like yup you have to deal with this as well for the rest of the story - yay! Pure pain.
Will still blames himself for what happened with Waylan and I just wanted to give him a hug because his whole storyline is absolutely heartbreaking. And the interaction between Waylan and Will in the first couple of chapters is just heartbreaking to see but it shows you the impact their childhood had on them. Even though they each experienced it in different ways.
"We were always going to end up here, one way or another."
Waylan McAllister.
Our "Broken Boy".
To say that I did not cry during his flashbacks and his storyline in general I would be lying to you.
Will and Way both went through absolute shit and I am not comparing their trauma because that is not the point. Trauma is individual for each and it cannot be compared.
When we slowly find out about Way's childhood and the choices he had to make in order to protect himself and to protect Will, your heart gets pulled out of your chest. I cannot explain it any other way honestly.
The addiction, the thoughts, the drowning, the bridge - it all accumulates into this amazing character that Jessie Walker has given us and you just want to cry and scream right along with him.
"You just need to find a way to make it through the night. It won't be dark forever."
Way's relationship with Will, while heartbreaking and tearful to read about, is also beautiful in a way that's hard to describe but incredible to read. Jessie Walker brings you into their world. The good and the bad. The past and the present. And we just hope that they can hang on.
"He's shattering. I'm shattering. Maybe together, we can stay whole."
PSA - Jessie Walker makes AMAZING playlists!!! Each song chosen to perfection. The songs that I added fit the vibe imo so I hope you enjoy 🖤🖤
(Link - https://spotify.link/awb9nbti5Ib )
🎵 "Run Boy Run" - Woodkid
🎵 "Achilles Come Down" - Gang of Youths
🎵 "Colorblind" - Adventure Club, NURKO, Dayseeker
🎵 "Strangers" - Lewis Capaldi
🎵 "Haunting Me" - Loveless
🎵 "Sarcasm" - Get Scared
🎵 "Rockstar" - Call Me Karizma
🎵 "Iris" - Flight Paths
🎵 "Lost Boy" - Ruth B.
🎵 "I Don't Smoke - Live Version" - Mitski, Audiotree
🎵 "Bad Child" - Tones And I
🎵 "heartLESS" - You Me At Six
🎵 "Kerosene" - Vanish
🎵 "GOOD THINGS" - Ekoh, Lo Spirit
🎵 "birthday cake" - Dylan Conrique
🎵 "Basket Case" - Green Day
🎵 "Messed Up" - Beartooth
🎵 "Train Wreck" - James Arthur
🎵 "True Friends" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "mad at god" - Sarah Saint James
🎵 "Nothing Else Matters" - Metallica
🎵 "Don't Ever Stop Running" - Maggie Jean Martin
🎵 "Architect" - Livingston
🎵 "Venom" - Icon For Hire
🎵 "Punching Bag" - Palaye Royale
🎵 "HEARTBEAT" - Isabel LaRosa
🎵 "1 Thing" - Sophie Powers, Kellin Quinn
🎵 "Glass Heart" - Caskets
🎵 "The Walls" - Chase Atlantic
🎵 "Come & Go" - Juice WRLD, Mashmello
🎵 "Way Down We Go" - KALEO
🎵 "Liquid Confidence (Nothing To Lose)" -You Me At Six
🎵 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎵 "Hate Me Too" - From Ashes To New
🎵 "I Would Hate Me Too" - TX2
🎵 "Rain" - Sleep Token
🎵 "Teardrops" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "Wish I Never Met You" - Loote
🎵 "Secrets" - Rain City Drive
🎵 "Dizzy" - MISSIO
🎵 "Family Line" - Conan Gray
🎵 "The Maze" - J. Maya
🎵 "Always Been You" - Jessie Murph
🎵 "Nightmare" - UNDREAM, Neoni
🎵 "Bad Habits" - Ed Sheeran, Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "Shadow" - Livingston
🎵 "CHOKE" - The Warning, grandson, Zero 9:36
🎵 "Addicted" - Saving Abel
🎵 "I Feel Like I'm Drowning" - Two Feet
🎵 "Slow Down" - Chase Atlantic
🎵 "I Want It All" - Cameron Grey
🎵 "Shatter Me" - Lindsey Stirling, Lzzy Hale
🎵 "Selfish" - Justin Timberlake
🎵 "The Only Exception" - Paramore
🎵 "Beautiful Things" - Our Last Night
🎵 "Can You Feel My Heart" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "EASY TO DROWN" - elijah
And I hope you're ready to have your heart broken…
"It's you, it's you, it's always been fucking you. Don't you fucking get that?"
"I want you. Just you. More than I probably fucking should. Only you."
🥃 Tropes 🥃
🌉 Childhood Friends to Enemies to Lovers
🌉 Angst
🌉 Slow Burn
🌉 Second Chance Romance
🌉 Forced Proximity
🌉 Hurt/Comfort
🌉 Book 1 of Duet
Book Edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C6L63omIL...
Will Foster is back in his hometown.
The place he never thought he would return to.
The place with all the memories he has tried to get over.
And the one person tied to all those memories.
Waylon McAllister.
And what happens when all the memories come right back up?
Will they be able to survive the past?
Or will they drown in the present?
"Feeling is the last thing I want to do when it comes to Will Foster."
Jessie Walker set out to break our hearts with this duet - I am absolutely sure of it!
This is full of angst, pain, memories, and heartbreak and I ate it up and left no crumbs.
Will and Way already have a place in my heart and I don't think they are getting out any time soon.
Jessie Walkers writing is absolutely magical - I have no other way of explaining it - and I cannot wait to continue with the Lost Boys!
"He is, and has always been, my one exception."
Will Foster comes back to his hometown filled with memories and nightmares and runs into Mason, a guy he knew when he grew up here. The one person he did not count on running into was Waylan McAllister. His childhood best friend. But now? Just a stranger.
Will's story from the beginning breaks your heart. I mean Jessie Walker just hits you with it and is like yup you have to deal with this as well for the rest of the story - yay! Pure pain.
Will still blames himself for what happened with Waylan and I just wanted to give him a hug because his whole storyline is absolutely heartbreaking. And the interaction between Waylan and Will in the first couple of chapters is just heartbreaking to see but it shows you the impact their childhood had on them. Even though they each experienced it in different ways.
"We were always going to end up here, one way or another."
Waylan McAllister.
Our "Broken Boy".
To say that I did not cry during his flashbacks and his storyline in general I would be lying to you.
Will and Way both went through absolute shit and I am not comparing their trauma because that is not the point. Trauma is individual for each and it cannot be compared.
When we slowly find out about Way's childhood and the choices he had to make in order to protect himself and to protect Will, your heart gets pulled out of your chest. I cannot explain it any other way honestly.
The addiction, the thoughts, the drowning, the bridge - it all accumulates into this amazing character that Jessie Walker has given us and you just want to cry and scream right along with him.
"You just need to find a way to make it through the night. It won't be dark forever."
Way's relationship with Will, while heartbreaking and tearful to read about, is also beautiful in a way that's hard to describe but incredible to read. Jessie Walker brings you into their world. The good and the bad. The past and the present. And we just hope that they can hang on.
"He's shattering. I'm shattering. Maybe together, we can stay whole."
PSA - Jessie Walker makes AMAZING playlists!!! Each song chosen to perfection. The songs that I added fit the vibe imo so I hope you enjoy 🖤🖤
(Link - https://spotify.link/awb9nbti5Ib )
🎵 "Run Boy Run" - Woodkid
🎵 "Achilles Come Down" - Gang of Youths
🎵 "Colorblind" - Adventure Club, NURKO, Dayseeker
🎵 "Strangers" - Lewis Capaldi
🎵 "Haunting Me" - Loveless
🎵 "Sarcasm" - Get Scared
🎵 "Rockstar" - Call Me Karizma
🎵 "Iris" - Flight Paths
🎵 "Lost Boy" - Ruth B.
🎵 "I Don't Smoke - Live Version" - Mitski, Audiotree
🎵 "Bad Child" - Tones And I
🎵 "heartLESS" - You Me At Six
🎵 "Kerosene" - Vanish
🎵 "GOOD THINGS" - Ekoh, Lo Spirit
🎵 "birthday cake" - Dylan Conrique
🎵 "Basket Case" - Green Day
🎵 "Messed Up" - Beartooth
🎵 "Train Wreck" - James Arthur
🎵 "True Friends" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "mad at god" - Sarah Saint James
🎵 "Nothing Else Matters" - Metallica
🎵 "Don't Ever Stop Running" - Maggie Jean Martin
🎵 "Architect" - Livingston
🎵 "Venom" - Icon For Hire
🎵 "Punching Bag" - Palaye Royale
🎵 "HEARTBEAT" - Isabel LaRosa
🎵 "1 Thing" - Sophie Powers, Kellin Quinn
🎵 "Glass Heart" - Caskets
🎵 "The Walls" - Chase Atlantic
🎵 "Come & Go" - Juice WRLD, Mashmello
🎵 "Way Down We Go" - KALEO
🎵 "Liquid Confidence (Nothing To Lose)" -You Me At Six
🎵 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎵 "Hate Me Too" - From Ashes To New
🎵 "I Would Hate Me Too" - TX2
🎵 "Rain" - Sleep Token
🎵 "Teardrops" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "Wish I Never Met You" - Loote
🎵 "Secrets" - Rain City Drive
🎵 "Dizzy" - MISSIO
🎵 "Family Line" - Conan Gray
🎵 "The Maze" - J. Maya
🎵 "Always Been You" - Jessie Murph
🎵 "Nightmare" - UNDREAM, Neoni
🎵 "Bad Habits" - Ed Sheeran, Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "Shadow" - Livingston
🎵 "CHOKE" - The Warning, grandson, Zero 9:36
🎵 "Addicted" - Saving Abel
🎵 "I Feel Like I'm Drowning" - Two Feet
🎵 "Slow Down" - Chase Atlantic
🎵 "I Want It All" - Cameron Grey
🎵 "Shatter Me" - Lindsey Stirling, Lzzy Hale
🎵 "Selfish" - Justin Timberlake
🎵 "The Only Exception" - Paramore
🎵 "Beautiful Things" - Our Last Night
🎵 "Can You Feel My Heart" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "EASY TO DROWN" - elijah
And I hope you're ready to have your heart broken…
"It's you, it's you, it's always been fucking you. Don't you fucking get that?"
"I want you. Just you. More than I probably fucking should. Only you."
🥃 Tropes 🥃
🌉 Childhood Friends to Enemies to Lovers
🌉 Angst
🌉 Slow Burn
🌉 Second Chance Romance
🌉 Forced Proximity
🌉 Hurt/Comfort
🌉 Book 1 of Duet
Book Edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C6L63omIL...
July 29, 2022
Will and Way's story was great, however, the execution left me down big time.
My two major issues:
The inner talk
Most of the dialogue scenes would have a break, a halt for inner-talk with lengthy explanations. The MC would work out ramblings inside his head, this thought lingering for pages to then return to the dialogue.
It. Was. A. Killer.
The telling was repetitive and became tyring and boring. I have to confess that I skimmed some of it and went straight to the dialogue.
On that note, sometimes less is more, and I would have appreciated it if the author had left something between the lines to feed my reader's imagination.
The drama.
Too much conflict in one story.
The MCs were split in the past over a tragedy and brought back together by another one.
Back to the present, we get another full blast of drama with the 4th anniversary of the day a character went missing, followed close by Way's dad getting out of prison.
At this point, all the drama starts to fizzle out. It's an eye roll fest.
Why did everyone and their grandmother have to suffer in this story?
One and two were already meaty enough in terms of conflicts to focus on.
Last but not least, I had to overlook that the MCs were only 11 years old. 13 would have been more realistic.
Now kindly ignore my thoughts and give this a chance if you like angsty reads. It's a heartbreaking story, with loads of feels and it has a ton of excellent reviews from my dear friends.
My two major issues:
The inner talk
Most of the dialogue scenes would have a break, a halt for inner-talk with lengthy explanations. The MC would work out ramblings inside his head, this thought lingering for pages to then return to the dialogue.
It. Was. A. Killer.
The telling was repetitive and became tyring and boring. I have to confess that I skimmed some of it and went straight to the dialogue.
On that note, sometimes less is more, and I would have appreciated it if the author had left something between the lines to feed my reader's imagination.
The drama.
Too much conflict in one story.
The MCs were split in the past over a tragedy and brought back together by another one.
Back to the present, we get another full blast of drama with the 4th anniversary of the day a character went missing, followed close by Way's dad getting out of prison.
At this point, all the drama starts to fizzle out. It's an eye roll fest.
Why did everyone and their grandmother have to suffer in this story?
One and two were already meaty enough in terms of conflicts to focus on.
Last but not least, I had to overlook that the MCs were only 11 years old. 13 would have been more realistic.
Now kindly ignore my thoughts and give this a chance if you like angsty reads. It's a heartbreaking story, with loads of feels and it has a ton of excellent reviews from my dear friends.
October 14, 2021
*** I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review.***
Where There's a Will is an angsty and complicated enemies-to-lovers story. I was initially intrigued by the premise of this story and curious as to where and how things would develop. I was very moved by the emotional scenes woven throughout this story and my heart broke for Will and Way in many ways.
Where There's a Will begins with Will returning to Shiloh after leaving ten years prior. He is reunited with his grade school best friend, Way, who is beyond angry at his reappearance. The story slowly divulges the reason for the rift between Will and Way and how it has impacted their present-day lack of friendship.
Will is the sunshine to Way's grumpiness, but both characters are struggling with their own personal demons that tackle mental health and substance abuse. This is a very personal story that shows how too broken people regardless of their complicated past together still have an unbreakable bond.
Where There's a Will is a strong debut that left me anxiously anticipating the conclusion of this complicatedly complex love story. Will and Way are two broken people who are perfect for one another, even when their stubbornness is the main roadblock.
Where There's a Will is an angsty and complicated enemies-to-lovers story. I was initially intrigued by the premise of this story and curious as to where and how things would develop. I was very moved by the emotional scenes woven throughout this story and my heart broke for Will and Way in many ways.
Where There's a Will begins with Will returning to Shiloh after leaving ten years prior. He is reunited with his grade school best friend, Way, who is beyond angry at his reappearance. The story slowly divulges the reason for the rift between Will and Way and how it has impacted their present-day lack of friendship.
Will is the sunshine to Way's grumpiness, but both characters are struggling with their own personal demons that tackle mental health and substance abuse. This is a very personal story that shows how too broken people regardless of their complicated past together still have an unbreakable bond.
Where There's a Will is a strong debut that left me anxiously anticipating the conclusion of this complicatedly complex love story. Will and Way are two broken people who are perfect for one another, even when their stubbornness is the main roadblock.
Read
June 22, 2022DNF at 66%. I don't feel it, not really. And I can't find it in myself to care as much as I should. This book is meant for: "The broken. The lost. The black sheep. The survivors." So I thought I'd find a home in it, but I didn't. Sadly, I didn't. I have some theories as to why.
First, it didn't feel very romantic. Or at all. What I've read was 99.9% angst. And during the potentially romantic scenes, I wasn't feeling the butterflies. Instead, I kept wondering how Waylon was going to hurt Will this time. It wasn't even a question of whether or not Waylon would hurt Will again, and that was the kicker, because he always did.
Second, because of the fact that Waylon kept treating Will like shit and sometimes a punching bag, even after some kind of a truce, whatever— and it's a fact that Will acknowledged— I expected Will to be frustrated, angry or resentful towards Waylon, to show any kind of meaningful emotional response. But no. He was consistently both a dog for Waylon's bone and a doormat to Waylon's feet.
Third, the reason I didn't care much about Waylon— aside from his shitty treatment of Will —was how his story was told. It definitely could have been told in a better way. I felt like it was over-dramatized, and the intrigue around the mystery of Waylon's and his and Will's past was overdone.
The thing about withholding information that the reader knows will eventually be revealed later, such as why Waylon treated Will that way, is: you have to give them something unrelated to focus on for the time being. (see: Zero at the Bone)
In this book, critical information was consistently withheld but almost every scene, if not all, referenced to said information. The conversation may make a turn or two, but the topic always circled back to the big "mystery". I was reading about the present but consistently wondering about the past. It was frustrating and not the most enjoyable read.
I really wanted to love this book.
First, it didn't feel very romantic. Or at all. What I've read was 99.9% angst. And during the potentially romantic scenes, I wasn't feeling the butterflies. Instead, I kept wondering how Waylon was going to hurt Will this time. It wasn't even a question of whether or not Waylon would hurt Will again, and that was the kicker, because he always did.
Second, because of the fact that Waylon kept treating Will like shit and sometimes a punching bag, even after some kind of a truce, whatever— and it's a fact that Will acknowledged— I expected Will to be frustrated, angry or resentful towards Waylon, to show any kind of meaningful emotional response. But no. He was consistently both a dog for Waylon's bone and a doormat to Waylon's feet.
Third, the reason I didn't care much about Waylon— aside from his shitty treatment of Will —was how his story was told. It definitely could have been told in a better way. I felt like it was over-dramatized, and the intrigue around the mystery of Waylon's and his and Will's past was overdone.
The thing about withholding information that the reader knows will eventually be revealed later, such as why Waylon treated Will that way, is: you have to give them something unrelated to focus on for the time being. (see: Zero at the Bone)
In this book, critical information was consistently withheld but almost every scene, if not all, referenced to said information. The conversation may make a turn or two, but the topic always circled back to the big "mystery". I was reading about the present but consistently wondering about the past. It was frustrating and not the most enjoyable read.
I really wanted to love this book.
July 3, 2024
⊹ ⁺ ₊ ✧
Where There’s A Will
┊
5 stars
✧ ₊ ⁺ ⊹
☆₊⋆ → thoughts┊MY. FAVORITE. SERIES. EVER. I cannot BREATHE after that endingeven though I already know what happens cause I was rereading💀👆🏼, I fear I have to read all the books in the series yet again, because I need them all to be okay and somewhat happy.
⋆╰┈✩ Uhmm if I haven’t been loud enough about these books beforeaka shoving it down your throat lovingly in the form of constant goodreads updates/reviews, now you know THIS is my roman empire series.
⋆╰┈✩ On a totally random note, I just realized nearly all my fave books have like 3 words (max 3 sentences) for a review. It’s because I’m always so blown away that I can’t from sentences. From now on, I’ll wait a few days until my brain works again, so I can process my emotions in order to write a coherent review, cause my 5 star reads deserve a fucking essay of a love letter. I’ll be on my hands and knees gushing about them for paragraphs on end.
☆₊⋆ → characters┊Will and Way give such black cat x golden retriever energy. I love love love their dynamic, even if its painful most of the timeI’m gonna shed a tear if I keep thinking about it😫. There’s so many obstacles in their path and it all feels hopeless at times, but they won’t back down did you catch my dumb/amazing Tom Petty reference?😭🫡.
⋆╰┈✩ *sigh* I just love them okay🥲?! This review is basically me yapping about my love for this book with no end in sight because I need everyone to give this book and these characters a chance.
⋆╰┈✩ Will is my sunshine baby omg I can’t take it when he’s hurting, I WILLpun intended😌👆🏼 start crying thinking about him being in pain. He’s always there for others and is so loving and kind, but on the inside he’s battling his own demons that he’s forced to face head-on when he comes back to Shiloh, Pennsylvania. I’d give anything for him to be happy always, he deserves everything.
⋆╰┈✩ Way is my grumpy bear with too much pain and shit hanging over him, this guy can never catch a break. He deserves the world. All the comfort. All the love. During my reread I had to keep reminding myself that he’s , because I hate when he’s sad, like it hurts me physically😭
☆₊⋆ → setting/plot┊I love me some gritty small-town rockstar romance 😚🫶🏼. I’m also a sucker for angsty character-driven books, especially when the characters have DEPTH. There’s so much to unpack and discover and heal from. It’s so painfully delicious🤭🥲. The tension. The angst. The PAIN . Please give it to me I LOVE IT 🛐
⋆╰┈✩ Some tropes are:
⤷ found family
⤷ angst
⤷ slow burn
⤷ tension
⤷ healing
⤷ bars, brawls, & boys lovin’ boys
☆₊⋆ → writing┊LOVE. I’m completely in love with Jessie Walker’s writing. She never misses for me😌. I’m always so immersed in the story and these characters. I don’t know how she does it but these characters feel like real people to me. What do you mean they’re not in a little bar in Shiloh rocking it out on the stage right now?! No thanks I’m staying delulu🙃. They’re real to me you can’t convince me otherwise😫.
⋆╰┈✩ I swear these books are laced with crack because I can’t stop won’t stop rereading them repeatedly. Ever. They’re my go-to comfort books atpeven though it hurts 90% of the time😭.
⭒ ⊹ ₊ reread ₊ ⊹ ⭒
⤷ 26/06/24 ┊I’ll never move on from this series🧎🏼♀️
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ 1:35 ─── ⊹ songs I listened to ⊹ ────── 3:47
♪ Used To Be Friends ─ Searows
⤷ "Said that you could like me if you wanted to, then followed me around until I talked to you"
♪ my house is warm ─ sombr
⤷ "I can’t right my wrongs but I can write another song"
♪ Keep The Rain ─ Searows
⤷ "I don’t know what steps to take, I do the easy ones until it helps"
♪ House Song ─ Searows
⤷ "Something is rotten inside of me, I have to find it and, cut it out"
♪ My King Will Be Kind ─ Inhaler
⤷ "You walk around like you own this town. Do you think of me as I’m thinking of you?"
♪ Totally ─ Inhaler
⤷ "But after all this time, I’m not yours, you’re not mine"
♫ author’s playlist
⤷ I highly recommend to give this one a listen while reading the book!!
☾ TWs ☽
౨ৎ happy reading ౨ৎ
∘₊✧ ── "Will and Way. We’re a team. Always." ── ✧₊∘
☆₊⋆ → thoughts┊MY. FAVORITE. SERIES. EVER. I cannot BREATHE after that ending
⋆╰┈✩ Uhmm if I haven’t been loud enough about these books before
⋆╰┈✩ On a totally random note, I just realized nearly all my fave books have like 3 words (max 3 sentences) for a review. It’s because I’m always so blown away that I can’t from sentences. From now on, I’ll wait a few days until my brain works again, so I can process my emotions in order to write a coherent review, cause my 5 star reads deserve a fucking essay of a love letter. I’ll be on my hands and knees gushing about them for paragraphs on end.
☆₊⋆ → characters┊Will and Way give such black cat x golden retriever energy. I love love love their dynamic, even if its painful most of the time
⋆╰┈✩ *sigh* I just love them okay🥲?! This review is basically me yapping about my love for this book with no end in sight because I need everyone to give this book and these characters a chance.
∘₊✧ ── "There’s an ocean of years separating us. Secrets and unspoken questions sluicing through the waves like grains of sand. And yet, it all falls away in this moment. This stretched out, heartbeat of a moment where I’m suddenly eleven years old again." ── ✧₊∘
⋆╰┈✩ Will is my sunshine baby omg I can’t take it when he’s hurting, I WILL
∘₊✧ ── "Holy shit, Waylon’s singing. His voice is deep and gravelly as he goes on about things like sinking into my skin and knowing it’s real because now he can feel. And I know—I know he doesn’t actually mean me, but fuck if it doesn’t feel like he’s carving the words right into my poor, battered heart. As if the words are and always have been mine and mine alone, and everyone else in this bar is just background noise." ── ✧₊∘
⋆╰┈✩ Way is my grumpy bear with too much pain and shit hanging over him, this guy can never catch a break. He deserves the world. All the comfort. All the love. During my reread I had to keep reminding myself that he’s , because I hate when he’s sad, like it hurts me physically😭
∘₊✧ ── "“The sun will always rise again.” I shrug. “You just need to make it through the night. Take it day by day—moment by moment if you need to—until you reach the other side. Nothing lasts forever.”" ── ✧₊∘
☆₊⋆ → setting/plot┊I love me some gritty small-town rockstar romance 😚🫶🏼. I’m also a sucker for angsty character-driven books, especially when the characters have DEPTH. There’s so much to unpack and discover and heal from. It’s so painfully delicious🤭🥲. The tension. The angst. The PAIN . Please give it to me I LOVE IT 🛐
⋆╰┈✩ Some tropes are:
⤷ found family
⤷ angst
⤷ slow burn
⤷ tension
⤷ healing
⤷ bars, brawls, & boys lovin’ boys
∘₊✧ ── "That ache in him spoke to the ache in me. I didn’t stand a chance keeping him away. He creeped in, and now I can’t get him out. He’s there, like a thorn in my side, pulling at me—making me care." ── ✧₊∘
☆₊⋆ → writing┊LOVE. I’m completely in love with Jessie Walker’s writing. She never misses for me😌. I’m always so immersed in the story and these characters. I don’t know how she does it but these characters feel like real people to me. What do you mean they’re not in a little bar in Shiloh rocking it out on the stage right now?! No thanks I’m staying delulu🙃. They’re real to me you can’t convince me otherwise😫.
⋆╰┈✩ I swear these books are laced with crack because I can’t stop won’t stop rereading them repeatedly. Ever. They’re my go-to comfort books atp
∘₊✧ ── "Where there’s a will, there’s a way." ── ✧₊∘
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄☆⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
⭒ ⊹ ₊ reread ₊ ⊹ ⭒
⤷ 26/06/24 ┊I’ll never move on from this series🧎🏼♀️
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ 1:35 ─── ⊹ songs I listened to ⊹ ────── 3:47
♪ Used To Be Friends ─ Searows
⤷ "Said that you could like me if you wanted to, then followed me around until I talked to you"
♪ my house is warm ─ sombr
⤷ "I can’t right my wrongs but I can write another song"
♪ Keep The Rain ─ Searows
⤷ "I don’t know what steps to take, I do the easy ones until it helps"
♪ House Song ─ Searows
⤷ "Something is rotten inside of me, I have to find it and, cut it out"
♪ My King Will Be Kind ─ Inhaler
⤷ "You walk around like you own this town. Do you think of me as I’m thinking of you?"
♪ Totally ─ Inhaler
⤷ "But after all this time, I’m not yours, you’re not mine"
♫ author’s playlist
⤷ I highly recommend to give this one a listen while reading the book!!
☾ TWs ☽
౨ৎ happy reading ౨ৎ
April 24, 2022
4.5
I finished this long, angsty trainwreck of a book in less than a day, and I feel drained emotionally. 😭 These guys… they’ve obliterated my feels. Not just Way and Will, either. Mason… Jeremy… There’s such pain and heartbreak here already, and so much still waiting around the corner. Lost boys, indeed. 💔
This was good. Really good, in fact, considering it’s Jessie Walker’s debut novel. It’s heavy af — if you have any serious triggers, please, for the love of god, check out the CWs at the end of the book. It’s also dramatic — in fact, it gave me low-key C. E. Ricci vibes in some places, which raised my hackles a little… but they went back down immediately when the big picture was finally revealed. That backstory…
It’s no secret that I love character-oriented stories, and this one ticked a lot of my boxes. Can’t wait for the sequel.
I finished this long, angsty trainwreck of a book in less than a day, and I feel drained emotionally. 😭 These guys… they’ve obliterated my feels. Not just Way and Will, either. Mason… Jeremy… There’s such pain and heartbreak here already, and so much still waiting around the corner. Lost boys, indeed. 💔
This was good. Really good, in fact, considering it’s Jessie Walker’s debut novel. It’s heavy af — if you have any serious triggers, please, for the love of god, check out the CWs at the end of the book. It’s also dramatic — in fact, it gave me low-key C. E. Ricci vibes in some places, which raised my hackles a little… but they went back down immediately when the big picture was finally revealed. That backstory…
It’s no secret that I love character-oriented stories, and this one ticked a lot of my boxes. Can’t wait for the sequel.
May 1, 2024
DNF @55%
It is with much sadness that I am announcing that I'm abandoning this book. There's nothing BAD about it. I just didn't click with it. There was a lot of mystery built up about seemingly mundane things, and my poor nerves just couldn't take it.
It seems like most others in the GR Keenk buddy read discord liked it, though!
I'm counting it as a read because I got to 55% and this book is long AF.
It is with much sadness that I am announcing that I'm abandoning this book. There's nothing BAD about it. I just didn't click with it. There was a lot of mystery built up about seemingly mundane things, and my poor nerves just couldn't take it.
It seems like most others in the GR Keenk buddy read discord liked it, though!
I'm counting it as a read because I got to 55% and this book is long AF.
![Profile Image for Kati *☆･ﾟ [a bit distracted atm].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1725834613i/144158876._UX200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg)
May 8, 2024
5***** broken stars
Wow. That was a very intense start for the "Lost Boys" - all of them. I have no words. I was hurting with them. A whole f* lot. Especially with Way. So much, seemingly endless pain.
It’s devastating to watch someone being in pain caused by their beliefs about themselves and that their desires are all wrong. All the more if these beliefs are not their own but induced by others. By people who should accept you as you are more than anyone else.
And the romance… my heart was pounding while reading. Hard.
This book was amazing. The writing intense. Impressive considering this book was Jessie Walker’s debut. I highly recommend reading it. I also recommend taking a look at the author’s instagram. There are so many beautiful collages for Will and Way’s story.
☆
And now, only a few more days to go until If There's a Way.
I can’t wait. My heart is longing for the "Lost Boys" to get in a better place someday ♥︎♥︎ I hope it will work out with and for them.
☆
**************
Shilohverse recommended reading
Lost Boys Book 1 - Where There’s A Will - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 2 - If There’s A Way - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Novella - All We Are
Lost Boys Novella - Still Beating - 5.0 stars
Aviary Duet Book 1 - Little Bird Lost - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 3 - Every Breath After, Part 1 - no rating for now
Wow. That was a very intense start for the "Lost Boys" - all of them. I have no words. I was hurting with them. A whole f* lot. Especially with Way. So much, seemingly endless pain.
My dad was right. I am a fucking waste.
☆
It’s devastating to watch someone being in pain caused by their beliefs about themselves and that their desires are all wrong. All the more if these beliefs are not their own but induced by others. By people who should accept you as you are more than anyone else.
“It’s just...it’s hard for me to wrap my head around it. I didn’t know any different growing up. How can you be traumatized from something when it’s all you’ve ever known?”
And the romance… my heart was pounding while reading. Hard.
This book was amazing. The writing intense. Impressive considering this book was Jessie Walker’s debut. I highly recommend reading it. I also recommend taking a look at the author’s instagram. There are so many beautiful collages for Will and Way’s story.
☆
And now, only a few more days to go until If There's a Way.
I can’t wait. My heart is longing for the "Lost Boys" to get in a better place someday ♥︎♥︎ I hope it will work out with and for them.
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?”
☆
**************
Shilohverse recommended reading
Lost Boys Book 1 - Where There’s A Will - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 2 - If There’s A Way - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Novella - All We Are
Lost Boys Novella - Still Beating - 5.0 stars
Aviary Duet Book 1 - Little Bird Lost - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 3 - Every Breath After, Part 1 - no rating for now
November 20, 2021
DNF @ 50%
October 22, 2021
5 stars
This book was a surprise. I thought I knew I was getting myself into but never had I been this wrong before. Please be warned, it is wrapped with all sharp piece of glass, thorns and every other thing that could slice through your heart and make you bleed out. So if you cannot handle the hurt, please stay away! I mean it. I’ll even leave some caution. ⚠️⚠️⚠️
I suffered twice as worse because I just had my first dose, with a round of fevers and well, felt horrible. Add this book to the pile, and I lost it. Anyway, back to the story, Will Foster and Waylon McAllister used to be childhood sweethearts. But shit happened and they fell apart in the most cruelest way possible. I will not comment on Way’s asshole of a father, because you will see for yourself if you choose to read this book that he doesn’t deserve the time of my(or your) day.
The angst was real. Will loved Way. Though he never really admitted it. And I loved every bit of it. They fought and fought, against hard feelings, lingering emotions and finally, oh finally did they cave in. I have to say, that was one of the best feelings I experienced while reading this.
“Something changed in our story. I can’t place a finger on what it is, or what it means for me when I leave here. All I know is I feel lighter”
They didn’t even know they were so far deep into each other until later.
“Way,” he breathes, and fuck me, if his lips don’t pucker and release like a goddamn kiss around my name.”
“Way and Will, Will and Way, and how it should have always been. Two halves of a fucking whole.”
Hurt? I mentioned the hurt somewhere before right?
Way was traumatised. It was heartbreaking, for he shouldn’t have gone through what he went through. It was a very hard journey for him to finally want what he wanted without panic attacks or disgust at himself.
“The sun’s out, and the birds are up, and I just told someone for the first time in my life out loud that I kissed a boy.
And guess what?
The world didn’t come crashing down around me.”
The world is cruel. Bitter truth. He was so broken that he believed his world would end if he kissed a boy. If that’s not cruel world, I don’t know what it is.
If there’s a way will be out next year, apparently. Winter 2022 is a long time away. Not fair. I’ve read a touching and wonderful book in so long only to wait for the sequel next year😔. I hope it’ll be worth the wait.
This book was a surprise. I thought I knew I was getting myself into but never had I been this wrong before. Please be warned, it is wrapped with all sharp piece of glass, thorns and every other thing that could slice through your heart and make you bleed out. So if you cannot handle the hurt, please stay away! I mean it. I’ll even leave some caution. ⚠️⚠️⚠️
I suffered twice as worse because I just had my first dose, with a round of fevers and well, felt horrible. Add this book to the pile, and I lost it. Anyway, back to the story, Will Foster and Waylon McAllister used to be childhood sweethearts. But shit happened and they fell apart in the most cruelest way possible. I will not comment on Way’s asshole of a father, because you will see for yourself if you choose to read this book that he doesn’t deserve the time of my(or your) day.
The angst was real. Will loved Way. Though he never really admitted it. And I loved every bit of it. They fought and fought, against hard feelings, lingering emotions and finally, oh finally did they cave in. I have to say, that was one of the best feelings I experienced while reading this.
“Something changed in our story. I can’t place a finger on what it is, or what it means for me when I leave here. All I know is I feel lighter”
They didn’t even know they were so far deep into each other until later.
“Way,” he breathes, and fuck me, if his lips don’t pucker and release like a goddamn kiss around my name.”
“Way and Will, Will and Way, and how it should have always been. Two halves of a fucking whole.”
Hurt? I mentioned the hurt somewhere before right?
Way was traumatised. It was heartbreaking, for he shouldn’t have gone through what he went through. It was a very hard journey for him to finally want what he wanted without panic attacks or disgust at himself.
“The sun’s out, and the birds are up, and I just told someone for the first time in my life out loud that I kissed a boy.
And guess what?
The world didn’t come crashing down around me.”
The world is cruel. Bitter truth. He was so broken that he believed his world would end if he kissed a boy. If that’s not cruel world, I don’t know what it is.
If there’s a way will be out next year, apparently. Winter 2022 is a long time away. Not fair. I’ve read a touching and wonderful book in so long only to wait for the sequel next year😔. I hope it’ll be worth the wait.
May 29, 2022
Tough one to rate, and this is why:
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺++
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭
There’s not much funny about this book, and an ocean-full of angst, with a super-heavy plot. I know, that sounds all negative. But it’s brilliantly written - a deepest of deep-dive into first love, childhood physical & emotional abuse by a homophobic parent, and more generally about grief and loss and suicide. In saying that, this book won’t be for everyone, because as it delves into these topics in excruciating detail, it hurts to read at times.
“There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn. Before the clock speeds up, and the world goes on spinning without you, you either pull yourself out in time to catch up, or you get left behind. That’s just the way it goes.”
Waylon & Will were childhood best friends, just realising their sexuality when torn apart. They both go through a mountain-load of trauma before they unexpectedly meet again as young adults.
“Whoever decided there’s some arbitrary age constraint on finding your damn soulmate is clearly just as much of a dumbass as whoever decided that the weight of death couldn’t be measured. Because they’ve clearly never had to witness their best friend fade to nothing more than skin and bones, hoarse sobs and bloody knuckles.”
But there’s also this breathtaking connection between the boys that’s written SO SO BEAUTIFULLY. The author doesn’t skimp on the details - we get every thought, every little sensation:
“His mouth parts a hair’s breadth away from mine. So close, I can already taste him on my tongue. Feel his warm breath wetting my lips, and his thudding heart against my own.
Nothing.
It would literally take nothing at all for me to swoop forward and crush his mouth with mine. Claim him, the first and only boy I’ve ever kissed. The only one I ever wanted to kiss. And that’s when I feel it. Because caught under hooded eyes as dark and hungry as the raging sea, feeling the impending weight of his lips on mine—
A gust of air along my lips.
A feathering touch.
Heat, so much heat.”
GAAAAAHHHHH… these boys slayed me. Tantalisingly micro-focussed attention on these feelings… and there isn’t even hardly any sex in it! But the heat of the attraction, how it was written, still rated 3/5 for me in the steam factor. Slowest of slow burn, creeping our way through the tension, revealing the memories from the past that are affecting the connection now.
“My mouth dries, and I beg. I beg whoever may be listening, with tears stinging my eyes, that this isn’t a trick. A joke. I...fuck, I need him to hold my hand—to touch me more than I think I’ve ever needed anything in my fucking life. And it’s ridiculous, it’s absurd, how fast and swift my overwhelming want for this miserable, gorgeous asshole bowls over me.”
It’s nearly 500 pages, and it ends on a cliffhanger. They get a brief taste of happiness, but there’s no happy ending to this book. We’ll have to read the next one to see.
Do I recommend this, even with the tough subject matter & heartache - GOD YES. Abso-f***ing-lutely.
Addit: kudos to the first ever vomiting-in-the-bathroom scene I’ve read that’s sweet and caring! 😆
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺++
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭
There’s not much funny about this book, and an ocean-full of angst, with a super-heavy plot. I know, that sounds all negative. But it’s brilliantly written - a deepest of deep-dive into first love, childhood physical & emotional abuse by a homophobic parent, and more generally about grief and loss and suicide. In saying that, this book won’t be for everyone, because as it delves into these topics in excruciating detail, it hurts to read at times.
“There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn. Before the clock speeds up, and the world goes on spinning without you, you either pull yourself out in time to catch up, or you get left behind. That’s just the way it goes.”
Waylon & Will were childhood best friends, just realising their sexuality when torn apart. They both go through a mountain-load of trauma before they unexpectedly meet again as young adults.
“Whoever decided there’s some arbitrary age constraint on finding your damn soulmate is clearly just as much of a dumbass as whoever decided that the weight of death couldn’t be measured. Because they’ve clearly never had to witness their best friend fade to nothing more than skin and bones, hoarse sobs and bloody knuckles.”
But there’s also this breathtaking connection between the boys that’s written SO SO BEAUTIFULLY. The author doesn’t skimp on the details - we get every thought, every little sensation:
“His mouth parts a hair’s breadth away from mine. So close, I can already taste him on my tongue. Feel his warm breath wetting my lips, and his thudding heart against my own.
Nothing.
It would literally take nothing at all for me to swoop forward and crush his mouth with mine. Claim him, the first and only boy I’ve ever kissed. The only one I ever wanted to kiss. And that’s when I feel it. Because caught under hooded eyes as dark and hungry as the raging sea, feeling the impending weight of his lips on mine—
A gust of air along my lips.
A feathering touch.
Heat, so much heat.”
GAAAAAHHHHH… these boys slayed me. Tantalisingly micro-focussed attention on these feelings… and there isn’t even hardly any sex in it! But the heat of the attraction, how it was written, still rated 3/5 for me in the steam factor. Slowest of slow burn, creeping our way through the tension, revealing the memories from the past that are affecting the connection now.
“My mouth dries, and I beg. I beg whoever may be listening, with tears stinging my eyes, that this isn’t a trick. A joke. I...fuck, I need him to hold my hand—to touch me more than I think I’ve ever needed anything in my fucking life. And it’s ridiculous, it’s absurd, how fast and swift my overwhelming want for this miserable, gorgeous asshole bowls over me.”
It’s nearly 500 pages, and it ends on a cliffhanger. They get a brief taste of happiness, but there’s no happy ending to this book. We’ll have to read the next one to see.
Do I recommend this, even with the tough subject matter & heartache - GOD YES. Abso-f***ing-lutely.
Addit: kudos to the first ever vomiting-in-the-bathroom scene I’ve read that’s sweet and caring! 😆
May 1, 2024
I’m not sure I can even put together coherent words right now.
What I’m only going to say is: this book is fucking PAIN in its entirety.
A brutal, violent, merciless punch to the gut.
So if you want to REALLY read this shit, brace yourself because you’re going to SCREAM. 🫡
What I’m only going to say is: this book is fucking PAIN in its entirety.
A brutal, violent, merciless punch to the gut.
So if you want to REALLY read this shit, brace yourself because you’re going to SCREAM. 🫡
May 24, 2024
I don't like a suicide hook used to pull readers into a book. Not the first book I've seen it in, but it's still a cheap trauma porn hook to me: is he going to do it or not?
This was too melodramatic and the group of friends behavior annoyed me. The trauma aspect, which is what attracted me in the first place, was done well, no qualms there.
I also don't like when the character is described as sexy and hot when we are in their POV, it's just weird.
Going to skip this series, since it's 2,900 pages and it was a slog to get through this one.
I didn't enjoy the writing style, the attention to clothing, or the obnoxious song and band reference (I stopped counting after 25) every time a song came on the radio, jukebox, etc.
Moments:
• I am a goddamn cucumber, that’s how much chill I have.
• A cucumber does not one make by giving a fuck, or whatever it is Yoda says. (Yeah, no.)
• If there’s any hope of me keeping my secrets, then I shall remain the coolest cucumber that ever cooled. (This is so ridiculously juvenile.)
• The Scorpions’“Rock You Like a Hurricane” plays loudly from the bar below,
• Clapping and stomping make a familiar beat as Pop Evil’s “Deal with the Devil” draws to a powerful close.
• Another song starts up—“Breathe” by Through Fire—and I try to see over the heads to get a look at the band, but it’s no use.
• Annnndddddd there goes my boxers. And probably every pair of panties in the room.
• Mason starts to play the opening chords of Bush’s “Glycerine” and somehow, miraculously, quiets the masses as the melody rings out across the bar.
• intro to “Man in the Box ” by Alice in Chains.
• Three Days Grace is playing somewhere in the background, singing about the futility of hate, because how fucking fitting—
• From somewhere above, Nirvana’s “Something In The Way” plays quietly.
• “Who?”
I laugh and shake my head. I shove some of my blond hair back when it falls into my eyes. “He’s a singer. Song’s called ‘I Won’t Back Down.’”
“Never heard of him.” (Why Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down was brought up a dozen times, I do not know.)
• A song by Bad Omens blares from the speakers in the corner
• The Breeders’“Cannonball” plays from the speakers, filling the near-empty bar.
• Thumbs under the straps of my backpack, I hum the lyrics to Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” under my breath as I make my way through the break in the chain-link fence. This song is always getting stuck in my head. It’s annoying, but I still like it. (It's stuck in MY head too, because you won't shut up about it.)
• Softly, he says, “You’re humming that stupid song again.” My face bunches up with confusion and something I can’t name as I realize I’ve been humming Tom Petty under my breath again.
• as I glance up at him through my lashes.
• At his harsh tone, I look up through my lashes.
• He looks up at me through his thick, dark lashes.
• she says, shuffling closer to me so we don’t have to scream as the guys start in on an old Dashboard Confessional cover,
• Thanks, Way. If it’s not my dead boyfriend cock-blocking me, it’s my...whatever the fuck Waylon is to me.
• My thumb stills and I glance up through my lashes to watch as he continues to wring his shirt into the sink.
• A second later, “Edge of Darkness” by Greta Van Fleet starts playing loudly through the speakers.
• I nod for him to go on as another song kicks on. “Lie to Me” by 12 Stone.
• A second later, the familiar opening chords of AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” starts playing.
• We’re not Will and Way. We’re just two friends getting drunk. (What a stupid name combination.)
• The song switches up, and I start to smile when Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” starts playing.
• “Far Behind” by Candlebox starts playing from the speakers instead,
• I distantly register “Nutshell” by Alice In Chains playing from the speakers as I drag my eyes up to his.
• A flash of light paints the ceiling gray; the only sign that the world hasn’t stopped altogether. That there are still two hearts beating on the dirty floor of a bar. Two sets of lungs straining for air, as if we’re both trying desperately not to draw attention to the massive elephant now crushing us. 🙄
• I want to milk the marrow of this moment for all its worth. (You want to what?!)
• “I showed you mine,” I whisper in a husky voice, watching the way his eyes widen and flash nervously up to mine. I force a rueful smile, baiting him. “You gonna show me yours or what?”
• just as the music picks up where it left off, halfway through Alice in Chains’“Nutshell.”
• I look up through my lashes to find Waylon watching
• I had that stupid fucking Tom Petty song stuck in my head, and all I saw when I closed my eyes was you. (Help.)
• “Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” he says simply. His mouth ticks up. “It made me laugh thinking about it. I couldn’t get the words out of my head after that. They just kept playing on this...endless, delirium-ridden loop. Like a song stuck in my head on repeat. I just kept thinking how it was a play on our names, and it just...it hit me.” (sigh.)
• I look up through my lashes just in time to catch his wince.
• I look up at him through my lashes to find Shawn leveling me with a knowing look.
• My eyes catch on the unfamiliar nightstand where a glass brimming with water and a bottle of Advil sit haloed by the sun. Rubbing the sleep from my aching eyes, I push myself up against the wooden headboard and grab the precious bounty before it can fade into the horizon of Waylon’s bedroom like the mirage I half expect this to be.
• The towel—Jesus Christ, the towel is literally hanging off his rock-hard erection like it’s a damn doorknob.
• My lips. I want to know if he tastes as good as I remember, salty and clean and all man, man, man.
• His lip’s curled up in a what-the-fuck expression when I glance up through my lashes.
• My cock’s not the fucking Holy Grail,
• “Will and Way. We’re a team. Always.”
Partial tags and CWs: Trauma, drama, self-harm, suicidal ideation, severe past childhood abuse, missing side character, suicide death of an MC's boyfriend (off-page, but also described), small town, strong internalized homophobia, recovering addicts, musicians, anxiety, chain-smoking, overdrinking, vomiting from drinking, hangovers, heroin, casual cocaine use, alcohol misuse/abuse, near death experiences, suicide hook, mention of attempted suicide by gun, insomnia, nightmares.
This was too melodramatic and the group of friends behavior annoyed me. The trauma aspect, which is what attracted me in the first place, was done well, no qualms there.
I also don't like when the character is described as sexy and hot when we are in their POV, it's just weird.
Going to skip this series, since it's 2,900 pages and it was a slog to get through this one.
I didn't enjoy the writing style, the attention to clothing, or the obnoxious song and band reference (I stopped counting after 25) every time a song came on the radio, jukebox, etc.
Moments:
• I am a goddamn cucumber, that’s how much chill I have.
• A cucumber does not one make by giving a fuck, or whatever it is Yoda says. (Yeah, no.)
• If there’s any hope of me keeping my secrets, then I shall remain the coolest cucumber that ever cooled. (This is so ridiculously juvenile.)
• The Scorpions’“Rock You Like a Hurricane” plays loudly from the bar below,
• Clapping and stomping make a familiar beat as Pop Evil’s “Deal with the Devil” draws to a powerful close.
• Another song starts up—“Breathe” by Through Fire—and I try to see over the heads to get a look at the band, but it’s no use.
• Annnndddddd there goes my boxers. And probably every pair of panties in the room.
• Mason starts to play the opening chords of Bush’s “Glycerine” and somehow, miraculously, quiets the masses as the melody rings out across the bar.
• intro to “Man in the Box ” by Alice in Chains.
• Three Days Grace is playing somewhere in the background, singing about the futility of hate, because how fucking fitting—
• From somewhere above, Nirvana’s “Something In The Way” plays quietly.
• “Who?”
I laugh and shake my head. I shove some of my blond hair back when it falls into my eyes. “He’s a singer. Song’s called ‘I Won’t Back Down.’”
“Never heard of him.” (Why Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down was brought up a dozen times, I do not know.)
• A song by Bad Omens blares from the speakers in the corner
• The Breeders’“Cannonball” plays from the speakers, filling the near-empty bar.
• Thumbs under the straps of my backpack, I hum the lyrics to Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” under my breath as I make my way through the break in the chain-link fence. This song is always getting stuck in my head. It’s annoying, but I still like it. (It's stuck in MY head too, because you won't shut up about it.)
• Softly, he says, “You’re humming that stupid song again.” My face bunches up with confusion and something I can’t name as I realize I’ve been humming Tom Petty under my breath again.
• as I glance up at him through my lashes.
• At his harsh tone, I look up through my lashes.
• He looks up at me through his thick, dark lashes.
• she says, shuffling closer to me so we don’t have to scream as the guys start in on an old Dashboard Confessional cover,
• Thanks, Way. If it’s not my dead boyfriend cock-blocking me, it’s my...whatever the fuck Waylon is to me.
• My thumb stills and I glance up through my lashes to watch as he continues to wring his shirt into the sink.
• A second later, “Edge of Darkness” by Greta Van Fleet starts playing loudly through the speakers.
• I nod for him to go on as another song kicks on. “Lie to Me” by 12 Stone.
• A second later, the familiar opening chords of AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” starts playing.
• We’re not Will and Way. We’re just two friends getting drunk. (What a stupid name combination.)
• The song switches up, and I start to smile when Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” starts playing.
• “Far Behind” by Candlebox starts playing from the speakers instead,
• I distantly register “Nutshell” by Alice In Chains playing from the speakers as I drag my eyes up to his.
• A flash of light paints the ceiling gray; the only sign that the world hasn’t stopped altogether. That there are still two hearts beating on the dirty floor of a bar. Two sets of lungs straining for air, as if we’re both trying desperately not to draw attention to the massive elephant now crushing us. 🙄
• I want to milk the marrow of this moment for all its worth. (You want to what?!)
• “I showed you mine,” I whisper in a husky voice, watching the way his eyes widen and flash nervously up to mine. I force a rueful smile, baiting him. “You gonna show me yours or what?”
• just as the music picks up where it left off, halfway through Alice in Chains’“Nutshell.”
• I look up through my lashes to find Waylon watching
• I had that stupid fucking Tom Petty song stuck in my head, and all I saw when I closed my eyes was you. (Help.)
• “Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” he says simply. His mouth ticks up. “It made me laugh thinking about it. I couldn’t get the words out of my head after that. They just kept playing on this...endless, delirium-ridden loop. Like a song stuck in my head on repeat. I just kept thinking how it was a play on our names, and it just...it hit me.” (sigh.)
• I look up through my lashes just in time to catch his wince.
• I look up at him through my lashes to find Shawn leveling me with a knowing look.
• My eyes catch on the unfamiliar nightstand where a glass brimming with water and a bottle of Advil sit haloed by the sun. Rubbing the sleep from my aching eyes, I push myself up against the wooden headboard and grab the precious bounty before it can fade into the horizon of Waylon’s bedroom like the mirage I half expect this to be.
• The towel—Jesus Christ, the towel is literally hanging off his rock-hard erection like it’s a damn doorknob.
• My lips. I want to know if he tastes as good as I remember, salty and clean and all man, man, man.
• His lip’s curled up in a what-the-fuck expression when I glance up through my lashes.
• My cock’s not the fucking Holy Grail,
• “Will and Way. We’re a team. Always.”
Partial tags and CWs: Trauma, drama, self-harm, suicidal ideation, severe past childhood abuse, missing side character, suicide death of an MC's boyfriend (off-page, but also described), small town, strong internalized homophobia, recovering addicts, musicians, anxiety, chain-smoking, overdrinking, vomiting from drinking, hangovers, heroin, casual cocaine use, alcohol misuse/abuse, near death experiences, suicide hook, mention of attempted suicide by gun, insomnia, nightmares.
May 5, 2022
Well 𝐅#𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄. This book left me in a raw and emotional place. My brain is utterly 𝐔𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 and 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲. My throat is 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 with emotion that i cant even begin to explain away. I honestly don't have any words on what I just read, what I just experienced. This book 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 the reading soul out of me. When I do write reviews i usually write them detailed with everything i love or hated or wanted more but right now I've got nothing. I'm feeling 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 and 𝐕𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. The more words I read the more I felt my walls crack. Layer after layer being 𝐏𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐝 and 𝐑𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 off of my Fu#king mind and heart. I have never experienced this level of... of I don't even 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 what I'm feeling right now to be honest.
I'm literally sobbing and shaking like I've just had my heart 𝐑𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 out of my fu#king ribcage.
]|I{•---------⋘⋙---------------•⪼⦕࿅⦖⪻•---------------⋘⋙---------•}I|[
There's so many quotes I could write but if I start i don't think i could stop until I've practically wrote the entire book.
All 497 glorious pages of it. But I guess the most important moment to share is this one;
“𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚, right?” he says simply. His mouth ticks up. “It made me laugh thinking about it. I couldn’t get the words out of my head after that. They just kept playing on this...endless, delirium ridden loop. Like a song stuck in my head on repeat. I just kept thinking how it was a play on our names, and it just...it hit me.”
He looks up at me then, eyes glinting with some unnamed emotion. “My dad had taken everything from me for as long as I can remember. My life revolved around trying to keep him happy. I just wanted him to love me, but by then, I knew it was pointless. Nothing I ever did would ever be good enough for him. It would never make up for what he lost. But he still had so much power over me, you know?”
I nod faintly.
“There was one thing he could never touch.”
Blood rushes loudly in my ears, nearly drowning out his next words.
“𝑴𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆. That was on me and only me. I could end it at any moment. It’s the one thing he couldn’t control. Couldn’t touch. The only thing that was in my hands. So long as I had the will to make it through another day, I’d be okay. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒎𝒆. 𝑨 𝑾𝒂𝒚.”
He taps his knuckle.
Oh God...
“There’re a lot of meanings behind this symbol, but that’s the one I chose for myself. 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚.”
And my heart...
It.
Just.
Explodes.
There’s no other word to describe it.
Whatever was left of it...is just gone. I am gone.
So. Far. Fucking. Gone.”
]|I{•---------⋘⋙---------------•⪼⦕࿅⦖⪻•---------------⋘⋙---------•}I|[
I can't explain it, the way these characters crawled there way into the deepest depth of my 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥, and something tells me they're not leaving anytime soon. Hell even then, they have 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 that place as theirs and there is no changing that or even forgetting it.
This is a heartbreaking journey, full of rough moments of deeply buried truths. There beneath the ocean that tight steel box started to open and unravel all those feelings and emotions, the fear, the guilt, the pain, the hopes the desire, the 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 it felt like they were finally taking their first breath of air after a decade of drowning. One truth at a time. But even after all they’ve endure their journey isn’t over yet. The road ahead is still long and I can't wait to see where it takes them. And I 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 it will certainly hurt and consume me again reading what's next but it will all be worth it in The end.
]|I{•---------⋘⋙---------------•⪼⦕࿅⦖⪻•---------------⋘⋙---------•}I|[
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.
And i honestly still cannot believe this is the author’s first book! I am beyond impressed even in my current state of spiraling emotions. Bravo Jessie Walker you have 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 every praise you've received for this book. Fu#king Brilliant.
I'm literally sobbing and shaking like I've just had my heart 𝐑𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 out of my fu#king ribcage.
]|I{•---------⋘⋙---------------•⪼⦕࿅⦖⪻•---------------⋘⋙---------•}I|[
There's so many quotes I could write but if I start i don't think i could stop until I've practically wrote the entire book.
All 497 glorious pages of it. But I guess the most important moment to share is this one;
“𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚, right?” he says simply. His mouth ticks up. “It made me laugh thinking about it. I couldn’t get the words out of my head after that. They just kept playing on this...endless, delirium ridden loop. Like a song stuck in my head on repeat. I just kept thinking how it was a play on our names, and it just...it hit me.”
He looks up at me then, eyes glinting with some unnamed emotion. “My dad had taken everything from me for as long as I can remember. My life revolved around trying to keep him happy. I just wanted him to love me, but by then, I knew it was pointless. Nothing I ever did would ever be good enough for him. It would never make up for what he lost. But he still had so much power over me, you know?”
I nod faintly.
“There was one thing he could never touch.”
Blood rushes loudly in my ears, nearly drowning out his next words.
“𝑴𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆. That was on me and only me. I could end it at any moment. It’s the one thing he couldn’t control. Couldn’t touch. The only thing that was in my hands. So long as I had the will to make it through another day, I’d be okay. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒎𝒆. 𝑨 𝑾𝒂𝒚.”
He taps his knuckle.
Oh God...
“There’re a lot of meanings behind this symbol, but that’s the one I chose for myself. 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚.”
And my heart...
It.
Just.
Explodes.
There’s no other word to describe it.
Whatever was left of it...is just gone. I am gone.
So. Far. Fucking. Gone.”
]|I{•---------⋘⋙---------------•⪼⦕࿅⦖⪻•---------------⋘⋙---------•}I|[
I can't explain it, the way these characters crawled there way into the deepest depth of my 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥, and something tells me they're not leaving anytime soon. Hell even then, they have 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 that place as theirs and there is no changing that or even forgetting it.
This is a heartbreaking journey, full of rough moments of deeply buried truths. There beneath the ocean that tight steel box started to open and unravel all those feelings and emotions, the fear, the guilt, the pain, the hopes the desire, the 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 it felt like they were finally taking their first breath of air after a decade of drowning. One truth at a time. But even after all they’ve endure their journey isn’t over yet. The road ahead is still long and I can't wait to see where it takes them. And I 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 it will certainly hurt and consume me again reading what's next but it will all be worth it in The end.
]|I{•---------⋘⋙---------------•⪼⦕࿅⦖⪻•---------------⋘⋙---------•}I|[
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.
And i honestly still cannot believe this is the author’s first book! I am beyond impressed even in my current state of spiraling emotions. Bravo Jessie Walker you have 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 every praise you've received for this book. Fu#king Brilliant.
August 1, 2022
5/5 ⭐️ Will and Way. They will have the type of love that is all-consuming. It's toxic and it will take going through a thousands storms to get to the everlasting love, but it's inevitable. You can feel it reading every word in the book. (Well that's how I felt) "Where there's a will there's a way." If that's not a sign of soulmates, I don't know what is. I loved everything about this book.
I listened to the playlist while reading through the book. This one song, called "Terrible Love" by The National I felt represented Will and Way perfectly. I probably listened to this song the most while reading the book.
"It's a terrible love and I'm walking in"
"And I can't fall asleep
Without a little help
It takes a while to settle down
my shivered bones
Until the panic's out
It takes an ocean not to break"
Also the build up in this song, all I could picture is Will and Way staring at each other, slowly approaching each other, and when the beat of the songs reaches the climax, they are kissing. (I know this probably sound's so cheesy I'M SORRY
I listened to the playlist while reading through the book. This one song, called "Terrible Love" by The National I felt represented Will and Way perfectly. I probably listened to this song the most while reading the book.
"It's a terrible love and I'm walking in"
"And I can't fall asleep
Without a little help
It takes a while to settle down
my shivered bones
Until the panic's out
It takes an ocean not to break"
Also the build up in this song, all I could picture is Will and Way staring at each other, slowly approaching each other, and when the beat of the songs reaches the climax, they are kissing. (I know this probably sound's so cheesy I'M SORRY
September 21, 2022
❝you sure you wanna do this, city boy?❞
i give him a sly smile. ❝babe, do you even have to ask?❞
the angst:
turned up to fucking eleven.
the romance:
had me by the fucking throat.
the side-characters:
have me intrigued.
the angst:
e v e r y o n e- and i mean everyone -had an insanely tragic backstory. i'm not gonna lie, it got to be a bit much.
waylon:
deserves the whole entire world and i want to cut mason for saying what he did to him.
will is:
a solid character. bro bro needs to not be afraid to push back a little.
overall:
why tf haven't i read this book earlier? story of my life, i swear.
May 31, 2024
bro i think i have a new favourite series. or at least a new one that means a shit ton to me.
having only read the first one i can't really judge on that rigth now but you gotta trust your gut on these things right.
i honestly don't know how to write a review for this one so i hope i can when i finish the second book. but for now just know that sometimes words don't mean shit but the words in this book meant everything and my own words reflecting on that wouldn't do it justice
-----------------------
😀😀😀😀😀
im okay
im fine
im doing DANDY
absolutely fantastic
😀🔫
having only read the first one i can't really judge on that rigth now but you gotta trust your gut on these things right.
i honestly don't know how to write a review for this one so i hope i can when i finish the second book. but for now just know that sometimes words don't mean shit but the words in this book meant everything and my own words reflecting on that wouldn't do it justice
-----------------------
😀😀😀😀😀
im okay
im fine
im doing DANDY
absolutely fantastic
😀🔫
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