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352 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
I propose that we don’t show the bullets on the bureau in the seedy hotel room; show instead the dirty underwear and socks on the bathroom floor. I propose that we don’t arrange photo opportunities that show the offender being escorted by ten federal agents from a helicopter to a motorcade of waiting cars. [...]Furthermore, although media are fond of reporting that criminals “snapped” or claim “nobody could have seen this coming,” he explains that there are, unequivocally, “pre-incident indicators” before violent acts. He lists and explains these in detail.
Conversely, guarded by federal agents (just like the president), whisked into waiting helicopters (just like the president), his childhood home shown on TV (just like the president), the type of gun he owned fired on the news by munitions experts extolling its killing power, the plans he made described as “meticulous”--these presentations promote the glorious aspects of assassination and other media crimes. Getting caught for some awful violence should be the start of oblivion, not the biggest day of one’s life.
But it was the biggest day in the life of accused Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, who was paraded in front of the waiting press surrounded by FBI agents, rushed to a motorcade, and then whisked away in a two-helicopter armada. We saw this even more with accused Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, whose close-up appeared on the covers of Time, U.S. News & World Report, and Newsweek (twice). The cover text of all three described Kaczynski as a “genius.”
Reporters usually refer to assassins with triple names, like Mark David Chapman, Lee Harvey Oswald, Arthur Richard Jackson. One might come to believe that assassins actually used these pretentious triple names in their pre-attack lives; they didn’t. They were Mark, Lee, and Arthur.
I propose promoting the least glamorous incarnation of their names. Call a criminal Ted Smith instead of Theodore Bryant Smith. Better still, find some nickname used in his pre-attack life:
Federal agent: His name is Theodore Smith, but he was known as Chubby Ted.
"I don't want to talk about that right now."This book trained me out of those caveats by teaching me that I don't owe strangers anything: not my smile, not my appearance, not my reply on a dating website. I choose to be kind, but I don't have to be nice. The fear of not being nice sets you up to be hurt--emotionally or physically. It's one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable talking about that."
"I don't feel like talking about that."
"Since fear is so central to our experience, understanding when it is a gift - and when it is a curse - is well worth the effort."
"No is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you."
"The blind eye, of course, will never recognize him, which is why I devote this chapter and the next to removing the blinders, to revealing the truths and the myths about the disguises someone might use to victimize you."
"Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level, and it causes a constant low grade anxiety."
"People who want to deceive you, I explain to Kelly, will often use a simple technique which has a simple name: too many details."