What do you think?
Rate this book
Your Own Kind of Girl
"This is the story I promised myself, aged twenty-one, that I would one day be brave enough - and well enough - to write."
Clare Bowditch has always had a knack for telling stories. Through her music and performing, this beloved Australian artist has touched hundreds of thousands of lives. But what of the stories she used to tell herself? That 'real life' only begins once you're thin or beautiful, that good things only happen to other people.
YOUR OWN KIND OF GIRL reveals a childhood punctuated by grief, anxiety and compulsion, and tells how these forces shaped Clare's life for better and for worse. This is a heartbreaking, wise and at times playful memoir. Clare's own story told raw and as it happened. A reminder that even on the darkest of nights, victory is closer than it seems.
With startling candour, Clare lays bare her truth in the hope that doing so will inspire anyone who's ever done battle with their inner critic. This is the work of a woman who has found her true power - and wants to pass it on. Happiness, we discover, is only possible when we take charge of the stories we tell ourselves.
Clare Bowditch has always had a knack for telling stories. Through her music and performing, this beloved Australian artist has touched hundreds of thousands of lives. But what of the stories she used to tell herself? That 'real life' only begins once you're thin or beautiful, that good things only happen to other people.
YOUR OWN KIND OF GIRL reveals a childhood punctuated by grief, anxiety and compulsion, and tells how these forces shaped Clare's life for better and for worse. This is a heartbreaking, wise and at times playful memoir. Clare's own story told raw and as it happened. A reminder that even on the darkest of nights, victory is closer than it seems.
With startling candour, Clare lays bare her truth in the hope that doing so will inspire anyone who's ever done battle with their inner critic. This is the work of a woman who has found her true power - and wants to pass it on. Happiness, we discover, is only possible when we take charge of the stories we tell ourselves.
324 pages, Paperback
First published October 28, 2019
About the author
Clare Bowditch
2 books107 followersClare Bowditch is a story-teller who lives in Melbourne with her husband Marty, their three teenage children, a white groodle, and one lone surviving free-ranging guinea pig. In terms of 'the fancy stuff', Bowditch is a bestselling ARIA Award-winning musician (Best Female Artist), Rolling Stone Woman of the Year (Contribution to Culture), Logie-nominated actor (for her role as 'Rosanna' on hit TV show Offspring), and a former ABC broadcaster who still misses her talk-back callers very much, and hopes they're doing okay out there. In her spare time, Bowditch does a lot of public-speaking and event-running. She uses humour and the collective terror of 'public-singing' as tools to teach skills around courage and self-leadership. She is also the founder Big Hearted Business, a love project designed to support creative people in their businesses, and businesses with their creative thinking. As a musician Clare has performed and toured with the likes of Leonard Cohen, Paul Kelly, Cat Power, John Butler, Snow Patrol and Gotye. The person she enjoys touring with the most is her drummer and husband, Marty Brown.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 684 reviews
February 22, 2020
4.5★ [I've just added a link below to my review of "All Birds Have Anxiety" which has wonderful photographs that go well with Clare's story.]
“It’s the same thought, the same story that so many grieving children, and adults, tell themselves after someone they love has died — it was all my fault. For reasons that I didn’t then understand, there was a very bad feeling inside me. I didn’t know it was just a feeling. I thought it was who I was.”
Clare Bowditch was the baby of the family, three sisters and one brother. The next sister up from her, Rowena, Rowie, was only 18 months older and they were best mates. Rowie got sick when she was five, when Clare was still too little to comprehend what it meant and, more importantly, to have the language at the time to even explain it to herself.
Grief led to anxiety, so for the rest of her life, she’s lived with a voice in her head she calls "Frank", telling her what a loser she is and how dangerous the world is and how many bad things are bound to happen to her if she takes any risks at all. Don't call attention to yourself, be careful!
“I reeled in horror with the images my own mind created. I didn’t know then that this is exactly what a tired brain does: it tries to keep us safe by warning us of all the things that might go wrong.”
As a child, she was called “a big girl” by polite people. Tall, chubby and not petite, she was the target of schoolyard bullies who called her “Fatty boom-bah”, a popular taunt I heard in schoolyards when my kids (about her age) were little. She describes yo-yo dieting and later how disappointing life was when she did become very thin.
“I knew where I belonged. But now, as a thin kid, I saw a crack in my universe that just hadn’t existed before. I saw that when you were thin, people seemed to like you more. And that just wasn’t right.
…
I often felt like an impostor.”
Friends’ parents didn’t recognise her. They didn’t believe she was the same girl. It felt as if they hadn’t liked her original “self”.
“Now that I was thin, I decided I would allow myself to swim, but the ghost of all that teasing does not easily disappear. Because I was still scared of what people might say about my body, I took to wearing a big t-shirt over my bathers—one that covered my bum and the top of my thighs. I hoped no one would notice.
But my friend’s mum did notice. When I showed up at the beach in my long t-shirt, she said playfully, ‘Darling, you can take off the t-shirt. You’re not fat anymore, you know!’
I pretended not to hear her and ran to the water, sinking my body low, where nobody could see it and comment.
That was the last time I swam in public for a decade.”
Of course, the mother was trying to be complimentary, but the fact that we comment on anyone’s shape is pretty bad form (pardon the pun) no matter how you look at it. I try to remember not to tell children how pretty or handsome they look, and I worry about commenting on how much I like a great dress or shirt. It’s really hard!
From being the “big girl”, she was now “the tall girl”. Her Catholic parents were wonderful. Her Dutch mother understood how troubled Clare was, so she prayed and pressed rosaries into her hands to keep her safe.
“I was an Amazon, she said. I was not born to be like other girls. I was going to be my own kind of girl. My first psychologist was a woman called Annika. She’d been recommended to Mum by a hospital that treated children with eating disorders. ‘She isn’t Catholic,’ Mum told me, ‘but she is Dutch, so that’s a start.’
The thing is, people are still learning about happens to children's minds when they suffer some very early trauma and they’re really too young to understand why they feel so bad.
“Seeing Annika was like taking the lid off a garbage can. I was so scared that, if I let her get to know me, she would discover the thing I was most scared of, the thing I already suspected to be true: that there was something very wrong with my brain.”
See? Blaming herself first and now blaming her faulty brain. She doesn’t go through her story in a completely linear fashion. We seem to go through one stage from toddler-hood and school and travel and work, and then we go back to some of the earlier years and revisit music, her diary, her singing.
There are some dreadful times.
“In that moment, an abyss of despair opened up so wide inside my chest that I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to go on breathing, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to.”
She was aware enough to know that she mustn’t listen to “Frank” and mustn't get so distressed she might jump off a bridge or find some pills – just end her life. Writing about her return home from London, she shares an important message for anyone in this kind of despair.
“There is no easy way to say this, but I will say it anyway: in those first few weeks at home, my only hope, my single hope, was that I would get to the end of the day without somehow killing myself or—as the voice in my head kept warning me was possible—hurting someone I loved. The last thing a girl like me would ever, ever want to do is hurt anyone, let alone someone I loved. As I said, this was the most insidious part of the illness. This, I am heartbroken to say, is what I suspect to be one of the fears that lies behind so many of the unexplained suicides that our community has to grieve: the thought that just by being alive we are running the risk of somehow causing harm to the ones we love most.”
For her oceans of tears and self-doubt, there was some deep-seated resilience, some faith that all could be better some day. It’s not the faith of her devout Catholic parents, though. She still loves lighting candles, but she doesn’t care what church or temple or quiet place it is.
“The Dalai Lama was once quoted as saying that, where possible, don’t change religions. All religions have within them a path to wisdom. He said to stick with the religion of your childhood, which is easy for him to say, because he wasn’t brought up a Catholic.”
There is a lot of love and humour, but what’s most important is how open she is about how her mind and soul were affected and the people and books and practices that helped her and continue to help her. She is now not only a popular entertainer but a presenter and ambassador for Smiling Mind. https://www.smilingmind.com.au/ and https://www.smilingmind.com.au/clare-...
Book cover, aged 8 (I think) and today (Women's Agenda, 29 Oct 2019)
In photos I've seen, she reminds me a little of Toni Collette and a little of Julianne Moore. But of course, she is exactly herself, no matter what size she is. And I think she looks happy now (but still has to tell Frank to F*** off most days).
There is so much love and fun times in this book, but I've kept quoting what I think are important passages to emphasise how readable it is and how useful it would be for anyone going through something similar.
It’s excellent. The cover picture of her as a kid is worth the price alone! There is an extensive list of books and resources, including The Very Hungry Caterpillar, a firm favourite of mine. There are flaws, including what seemed a wandering timeline (and an awful lot of tears!), but I think the message and the delivery of it are so important, and I like her story, so I’m bumping up my rating.
P.S. I've just remembered a wonderful photographic book for kids All Birds Have Anxiety that illustrates the feelings and reactions we all have and the irrational fears we may develop. I've added a few more illustrations to it - have a look. It's a stunning book!
Link to my review of "All Birds Have Anxiety" with some beautiful illustrations.
Still more! Clare and her music in a 2010 interview: https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs...
Clare 'today', talking about this book and her life: https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs...
“It’s the same thought, the same story that so many grieving children, and adults, tell themselves after someone they love has died — it was all my fault. For reasons that I didn’t then understand, there was a very bad feeling inside me. I didn’t know it was just a feeling. I thought it was who I was.”
Clare Bowditch was the baby of the family, three sisters and one brother. The next sister up from her, Rowena, Rowie, was only 18 months older and they were best mates. Rowie got sick when she was five, when Clare was still too little to comprehend what it meant and, more importantly, to have the language at the time to even explain it to herself.
Grief led to anxiety, so for the rest of her life, she’s lived with a voice in her head she calls "Frank", telling her what a loser she is and how dangerous the world is and how many bad things are bound to happen to her if she takes any risks at all. Don't call attention to yourself, be careful!
“I reeled in horror with the images my own mind created. I didn’t know then that this is exactly what a tired brain does: it tries to keep us safe by warning us of all the things that might go wrong.”
As a child, she was called “a big girl” by polite people. Tall, chubby and not petite, she was the target of schoolyard bullies who called her “Fatty boom-bah”, a popular taunt I heard in schoolyards when my kids (about her age) were little. She describes yo-yo dieting and later how disappointing life was when she did become very thin.
“I knew where I belonged. But now, as a thin kid, I saw a crack in my universe that just hadn’t existed before. I saw that when you were thin, people seemed to like you more. And that just wasn’t right.
…
I often felt like an impostor.”
Friends’ parents didn’t recognise her. They didn’t believe she was the same girl. It felt as if they hadn’t liked her original “self”.
“Now that I was thin, I decided I would allow myself to swim, but the ghost of all that teasing does not easily disappear. Because I was still scared of what people might say about my body, I took to wearing a big t-shirt over my bathers—one that covered my bum and the top of my thighs. I hoped no one would notice.
But my friend’s mum did notice. When I showed up at the beach in my long t-shirt, she said playfully, ‘Darling, you can take off the t-shirt. You’re not fat anymore, you know!’
I pretended not to hear her and ran to the water, sinking my body low, where nobody could see it and comment.
That was the last time I swam in public for a decade.”
Of course, the mother was trying to be complimentary, but the fact that we comment on anyone’s shape is pretty bad form (pardon the pun) no matter how you look at it. I try to remember not to tell children how pretty or handsome they look, and I worry about commenting on how much I like a great dress or shirt. It’s really hard!
From being the “big girl”, she was now “the tall girl”. Her Catholic parents were wonderful. Her Dutch mother understood how troubled Clare was, so she prayed and pressed rosaries into her hands to keep her safe.
“I was an Amazon, she said. I was not born to be like other girls. I was going to be my own kind of girl. My first psychologist was a woman called Annika. She’d been recommended to Mum by a hospital that treated children with eating disorders. ‘She isn’t Catholic,’ Mum told me, ‘but she is Dutch, so that’s a start.’
The thing is, people are still learning about happens to children's minds when they suffer some very early trauma and they’re really too young to understand why they feel so bad.
“Seeing Annika was like taking the lid off a garbage can. I was so scared that, if I let her get to know me, she would discover the thing I was most scared of, the thing I already suspected to be true: that there was something very wrong with my brain.”
See? Blaming herself first and now blaming her faulty brain. She doesn’t go through her story in a completely linear fashion. We seem to go through one stage from toddler-hood and school and travel and work, and then we go back to some of the earlier years and revisit music, her diary, her singing.
There are some dreadful times.
“In that moment, an abyss of despair opened up so wide inside my chest that I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to go on breathing, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to.”
She was aware enough to know that she mustn’t listen to “Frank” and mustn't get so distressed she might jump off a bridge or find some pills – just end her life. Writing about her return home from London, she shares an important message for anyone in this kind of despair.
“There is no easy way to say this, but I will say it anyway: in those first few weeks at home, my only hope, my single hope, was that I would get to the end of the day without somehow killing myself or—as the voice in my head kept warning me was possible—hurting someone I loved. The last thing a girl like me would ever, ever want to do is hurt anyone, let alone someone I loved. As I said, this was the most insidious part of the illness. This, I am heartbroken to say, is what I suspect to be one of the fears that lies behind so many of the unexplained suicides that our community has to grieve: the thought that just by being alive we are running the risk of somehow causing harm to the ones we love most.”
For her oceans of tears and self-doubt, there was some deep-seated resilience, some faith that all could be better some day. It’s not the faith of her devout Catholic parents, though. She still loves lighting candles, but she doesn’t care what church or temple or quiet place it is.
“The Dalai Lama was once quoted as saying that, where possible, don’t change religions. All religions have within them a path to wisdom. He said to stick with the religion of your childhood, which is easy for him to say, because he wasn’t brought up a Catholic.”
There is a lot of love and humour, but what’s most important is how open she is about how her mind and soul were affected and the people and books and practices that helped her and continue to help her. She is now not only a popular entertainer but a presenter and ambassador for Smiling Mind. https://www.smilingmind.com.au/ and https://www.smilingmind.com.au/clare-...
Book cover, aged 8 (I think) and today (Women's Agenda, 29 Oct 2019)
In photos I've seen, she reminds me a little of Toni Collette and a little of Julianne Moore. But of course, she is exactly herself, no matter what size she is. And I think she looks happy now (but still has to tell Frank to F*** off most days).
There is so much love and fun times in this book, but I've kept quoting what I think are important passages to emphasise how readable it is and how useful it would be for anyone going through something similar.
It’s excellent. The cover picture of her as a kid is worth the price alone! There is an extensive list of books and resources, including The Very Hungry Caterpillar, a firm favourite of mine. There are flaws, including what seemed a wandering timeline (and an awful lot of tears!), but I think the message and the delivery of it are so important, and I like her story, so I’m bumping up my rating.
P.S. I've just remembered a wonderful photographic book for kids All Birds Have Anxiety that illustrates the feelings and reactions we all have and the irrational fears we may develop. I've added a few more illustrations to it - have a look. It's a stunning book!
Link to my review of "All Birds Have Anxiety" with some beautiful illustrations.
Still more! Clare and her music in a 2010 interview: https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs...
Clare 'today', talking about this book and her life: https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs...
November 6, 2019
Every encounter I’ve had with Clare Bowditch has left me feeling more whole. At 18, after years of obsessively listening to her songs in my bedroom, I finally saw her live at The Corner Hotel. Clare met with fans afterwards, signing albums. I’ll never forget the moment she looked at me and said: “Hey lovely, great singing tonight. I could hear you in the crowd!”. I felt warm, valued. Liked she’d just invited me into a world that was more beautiful. More compassionate.
This book does exactly that. Clare is a master storyteller who invites us to understand anxiety, without stigma. For those of us who’ve lived it, the book feels like Clare sitting beside you with a cup of tea, saying “I see you”. She takes us to the rawest parts of her experience, while offering hope and warmth. She speaks of grief, recovery and trauma in both a sensitive and honest manner. She gives one of the most authentic portrayals of these feelings I’ve ever read. Her bravery is a gift.
“Your Own Kind Of Girl” is the book I needed when I was a teenager. It’s the book I still need now. It’s the book everyone needs, for the world to learn that mental ill-health is not a weakness. As Clare says, it’s part of being a human being.
This book does exactly that. Clare is a master storyteller who invites us to understand anxiety, without stigma. For those of us who’ve lived it, the book feels like Clare sitting beside you with a cup of tea, saying “I see you”. She takes us to the rawest parts of her experience, while offering hope and warmth. She speaks of grief, recovery and trauma in both a sensitive and honest manner. She gives one of the most authentic portrayals of these feelings I’ve ever read. Her bravery is a gift.
“Your Own Kind Of Girl” is the book I needed when I was a teenager. It’s the book I still need now. It’s the book everyone needs, for the world to learn that mental ill-health is not a weakness. As Clare says, it’s part of being a human being.
July 27, 2021
Your Own Kind of Girl by Aussie Singer Clare Bowditch was my free audible book for this month, I probably wouldn’t have picked it up if otherwise. I mean, I’ve heard of her, but I haven’t listened to much of her music until now – but I can say, after reading this audiobook, I will follow her with interest.
It’s a funny thing, familiarity. As this is a warts and all autobiography, I feel I know Clare Bowditch in some fashion. This is a very frank account of Clare’s life. It’s not an expose on the Australian music industry, I wouldn’t be interested if this was the case. I was hoping this was a story about a person, and it is – it’s about a girl, her family, and her struggles.
The book starts with Clare as a carefree young girl at school. Living the life of riley and having fun like all little kids should have. She is from a loving family with 3 sisters and a brother, all older. But two major events occur during this early part of her life. Firstly, the death of one of her older sisters to a rare disease and secondly, her realisation that her size – even as a young girl was something others judged her on. The kids who made fun of her took the form of horrible little boys.
The consequences of both have had a long last-lasting impact on Clare’s life. The issues and sequalae of the ever-present societal expectations of the female body shape (that’s the best way I can describe it), are massive. Listening to Clare, is an important message to whoever reads this – no matter how much I thought I understood the impact of this issue on girls and women, this book delivered that message as a hammer blow. In some ways it’s an embarrassment and I feel shameful that this father of 4 girls, didn’t really understand the effect this has on women. Yes, I did know it was important BUT without listening to a victim of this for many hours – I wouldn’t feel what I feel now. This is what makes this book important.
This, in combination with grief over the death of her sister, Clare had to deal with significant mental illness. This resulted in a serious breakdown – something she sees now as a new beginning – but when you’re in the thick of suffering, that’s the last thing you believe. Also, Clare’s mind consistently fed her nonsense, stories about her – like ‘she is not good enough’, that ‘she is fat’, that ‘she would be a terrible mother’ and even that ‘she would be better off dead’ – and so much more. Clare called this voice “Fred”.
Our brains are storytelling beasts
Towards the end we learn more about Clare’s music career and how she fell in love with the man of her dreams. Now that last bit sounds a bit corny, I thought the same when the author started describing how it all came about – but it literally made my heart warm. I think I even ‘whooped’ a little bit.
Clare finishes the book with some useful resources regarding mental illness and the last chapter is a particularly lovely piece between Clare and her Mum – where Mum shares her Dutch Apple Tart recipe. Sounds yum – and what a wonderful way to finish this one, which was very heavy at times but at the same time the importance and warmth of family shone through.
4 Stars
It’s a funny thing, familiarity. As this is a warts and all autobiography, I feel I know Clare Bowditch in some fashion. This is a very frank account of Clare’s life. It’s not an expose on the Australian music industry, I wouldn’t be interested if this was the case. I was hoping this was a story about a person, and it is – it’s about a girl, her family, and her struggles.
The book starts with Clare as a carefree young girl at school. Living the life of riley and having fun like all little kids should have. She is from a loving family with 3 sisters and a brother, all older. But two major events occur during this early part of her life. Firstly, the death of one of her older sisters to a rare disease and secondly, her realisation that her size – even as a young girl was something others judged her on. The kids who made fun of her took the form of horrible little boys.
The consequences of both have had a long last-lasting impact on Clare’s life. The issues and sequalae of the ever-present societal expectations of the female body shape (that’s the best way I can describe it), are massive. Listening to Clare, is an important message to whoever reads this – no matter how much I thought I understood the impact of this issue on girls and women, this book delivered that message as a hammer blow. In some ways it’s an embarrassment and I feel shameful that this father of 4 girls, didn’t really understand the effect this has on women. Yes, I did know it was important BUT without listening to a victim of this for many hours – I wouldn’t feel what I feel now. This is what makes this book important.
This, in combination with grief over the death of her sister, Clare had to deal with significant mental illness. This resulted in a serious breakdown – something she sees now as a new beginning – but when you’re in the thick of suffering, that’s the last thing you believe. Also, Clare’s mind consistently fed her nonsense, stories about her – like ‘she is not good enough’, that ‘she is fat’, that ‘she would be a terrible mother’ and even that ‘she would be better off dead’ – and so much more. Clare called this voice “Fred”.
Our brains are storytelling beasts
Towards the end we learn more about Clare’s music career and how she fell in love with the man of her dreams. Now that last bit sounds a bit corny, I thought the same when the author started describing how it all came about – but it literally made my heart warm. I think I even ‘whooped’ a little bit.
Clare finishes the book with some useful resources regarding mental illness and the last chapter is a particularly lovely piece between Clare and her Mum – where Mum shares her Dutch Apple Tart recipe. Sounds yum – and what a wonderful way to finish this one, which was very heavy at times but at the same time the importance and warmth of family shone through.
4 Stars
May 9, 2021
Claire Bowditch is a successful Australian folk singer. This memoir has been lauded by many, so I took the opportunity to check it out for myself.
It focuses primarily on Bowditch's struggles with anxiety and depression. The death of one of her older sisters when only seven years old, years of dieting, from when she was just eleven, relationship breakups, and probably a genetic disposition - accumulated to the point of a major nervous breakdown at only twenty-one when living in London.
What followed was a period of slowly but steadily fighting her demons. She was lucky enough to have had the love and support of loving parents and siblings, finding the right kind of books to read and the right therapist to guide her towards reframing the way she thought of things - what you think is your reality, after all, the brain doesn't know what's real or not.
Bowditch's writing is straight forward and non-preachy. She doesn't overshare but gives the reader a detailed enough overview of events in her life and of things she felt and thought. Her diaries must have been cathartic to re-read and very useful when it came to writing this memoir.
I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by Bowditch herself. She did a great job.
She also provides resources for those who need help.
It focuses primarily on Bowditch's struggles with anxiety and depression. The death of one of her older sisters when only seven years old, years of dieting, from when she was just eleven, relationship breakups, and probably a genetic disposition - accumulated to the point of a major nervous breakdown at only twenty-one when living in London.
What followed was a period of slowly but steadily fighting her demons. She was lucky enough to have had the love and support of loving parents and siblings, finding the right kind of books to read and the right therapist to guide her towards reframing the way she thought of things - what you think is your reality, after all, the brain doesn't know what's real or not.
Bowditch's writing is straight forward and non-preachy. She doesn't overshare but gives the reader a detailed enough overview of events in her life and of things she felt and thought. Her diaries must have been cathartic to re-read and very useful when it came to writing this memoir.
I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by Bowditch herself. She did a great job.
She also provides resources for those who need help.
February 3, 2020
*https://mrsbbookreviews.wordpress.com
4.5 stars
‘I was not born to be like other girls. I was going to be my own kind of girl.’
In this often overwhelming, busy and pressured world, it is hard to find the time to take stock and recognise that what you are feeling is normal. Clare Bowditch’s memoir, Your Own Kind of Girl, is incredibly frank and honest, but also universal, speaking for many of us around the country – of all ages and creeds.
At the formative age of just twenty one, Clare Bowditch, now a successful singer/songwriter made a pledge, that she would one day pen a book. That wish has now come true and Bowditch channels her flair for songwriting into a different piece of writing, a memoir of her life. Clare’s story begins with her happy, but also sad childhood, marred by the loss of her older sister. Bowditch ploughs through her moments of anxiety and body image issues. Her loves, lost and gained are shared. Her moments of pure despair, heartache, confusion and elation are laid bare. Most of all, Clare reveals her struggle to gain the upper hand over the most fault finding figure of all – her inner critic. This is a memoir that will give others a sense of understanding, as well as the strength and power to seize the day and start a promising new chapter in their lives.
I was urged to read Your Own Kind of Girl by not only my favorite book blogger, Theresa from Theresa Smith Writes, but also two more of like minded bookworm friends. I know that Theresa is not a huge fan of memoirs, so when she declared that ‘I have never read a more meaningful memoir’, something made me stand up to attention and reach for a copy of this book. My initial encounter with this book was to shelve it in the category of another celebrity memoir. I honestly thought it was about the songwriter’s musical journey, her break into stardom, her awards, touring and celebrity status. I was very wrong in this assumption. Your Own Kind of Girl charts the singer’s loving, but also grief filled childhood, her difficult adolescence and teen years. Bowditch’s twenties were defined by anxiety and heartache, while her adult life was still overshadowed by the black dog of insecurity. There are light references only to her career, which I appreciated, as this memoir is focused directly on the experience of negotiating life as a woman in today’s society.
Your Own Kind of Girl is organised in a clear and readable format. There is a brief letter of introduction, followed by twelve chapters that relate to episodes in Clare’s life. These chapters are named after Clare’s songs, which I am ashamed to say, I was not aware of Clare’s music prior to this book. The twelve chapters are followed by an epilogue and an additional resources page. I thought these extras were very thoughtful, especially if some of the subjects covered in this book encourage the audience to seek help. A lengthy acknowledgements section, extending thanks to many well-known Australian figures rounds off this moving memoir.
Clare begins her moving journey with a chapter titled ‘Happiness’, which is followed by ‘When I was five’, which encompasses a childhood that was filled with moments of pure happiness and comfort, along with utter sadness and despair. The reader learns about the terrible and confusing disease that afflicted Clare’s older sister when she was a child, the lack of understanding and treatment of the disease, along with the eventual loss of her sister to this disease. It is upsetting and it will appeal to your heartstrings. It made me frustrated and angry that in this era, when I was a child too, there was a clear lack of understanding around the debilitating illness that consumed Clare’s sister. Despite it all, this family is surrounded by love and support, which touched me very much.
A death in the family is sure to shape any young person and it did have an impact on Clare. Not long after the loss of her sister, Clare become aware of her body, which she saw as completely different to her peers. It led Clare on a journey to change the shape of her body and the resulting eating habits haunted Clare for many years. I found this aspect so raw, confronting and but also discerning.
As Clare matures and enters the formative years of her adulthood, she goes through the rites of passage that many of us have experienced at this time in our lives. I found this stage of Clare’s life connective. She experiences heartache, career exploration, travel and she continues to dream about one day making it as a singer. I could relate and I did feel her moments of pain, realisation and pure agony. I think this is where I would easily say that Your Own Kind of Girl is a book for the masses, it has ubiquitous appeal.
We journey on with Clare as she flourishes into a young woman, with the same battle scars many of us have acquired during our lives. The moments where Clare meets her soul mate and finally breaks into the music industry are poignant. However, Clare never really leaves all the suitcases of her past behind – the family and childhood grief, the struggles over her body, the anxiety and that voice that continues to tell her she isn’t quite good enough.
Last month, Your Kind of Girl was shortlisted in the highly regarded Indies Book Awards, in the nonfiction category. Clare Bowditch’s memoir puts up a good fight and it is a strong contender to take out this category. I am glad I took a chance on this one and listened to my valued bookish friends. You should open your heart and mind to this responsive memoir, which is full of understanding. Your Own Kind of Girl will definitely spark a, ‘that’s me too’ response.
‘And what I learned was this: it might sound daggy, and you might have heard it a million times before, but Ron was correct when he told me that , sometimes, what starts at a breakdown really can become the moment you look back on a breakthrough, as the moment in which you started to live your own kind of life.’
Your Own Kind of Girl is book #8 of the 2020 Australian Women Writers Challenge
4.5 stars
‘I was not born to be like other girls. I was going to be my own kind of girl.’
In this often overwhelming, busy and pressured world, it is hard to find the time to take stock and recognise that what you are feeling is normal. Clare Bowditch’s memoir, Your Own Kind of Girl, is incredibly frank and honest, but also universal, speaking for many of us around the country – of all ages and creeds.
At the formative age of just twenty one, Clare Bowditch, now a successful singer/songwriter made a pledge, that she would one day pen a book. That wish has now come true and Bowditch channels her flair for songwriting into a different piece of writing, a memoir of her life. Clare’s story begins with her happy, but also sad childhood, marred by the loss of her older sister. Bowditch ploughs through her moments of anxiety and body image issues. Her loves, lost and gained are shared. Her moments of pure despair, heartache, confusion and elation are laid bare. Most of all, Clare reveals her struggle to gain the upper hand over the most fault finding figure of all – her inner critic. This is a memoir that will give others a sense of understanding, as well as the strength and power to seize the day and start a promising new chapter in their lives.
I was urged to read Your Own Kind of Girl by not only my favorite book blogger, Theresa from Theresa Smith Writes, but also two more of like minded bookworm friends. I know that Theresa is not a huge fan of memoirs, so when she declared that ‘I have never read a more meaningful memoir’, something made me stand up to attention and reach for a copy of this book. My initial encounter with this book was to shelve it in the category of another celebrity memoir. I honestly thought it was about the songwriter’s musical journey, her break into stardom, her awards, touring and celebrity status. I was very wrong in this assumption. Your Own Kind of Girl charts the singer’s loving, but also grief filled childhood, her difficult adolescence and teen years. Bowditch’s twenties were defined by anxiety and heartache, while her adult life was still overshadowed by the black dog of insecurity. There are light references only to her career, which I appreciated, as this memoir is focused directly on the experience of negotiating life as a woman in today’s society.
Your Own Kind of Girl is organised in a clear and readable format. There is a brief letter of introduction, followed by twelve chapters that relate to episodes in Clare’s life. These chapters are named after Clare’s songs, which I am ashamed to say, I was not aware of Clare’s music prior to this book. The twelve chapters are followed by an epilogue and an additional resources page. I thought these extras were very thoughtful, especially if some of the subjects covered in this book encourage the audience to seek help. A lengthy acknowledgements section, extending thanks to many well-known Australian figures rounds off this moving memoir.
Clare begins her moving journey with a chapter titled ‘Happiness’, which is followed by ‘When I was five’, which encompasses a childhood that was filled with moments of pure happiness and comfort, along with utter sadness and despair. The reader learns about the terrible and confusing disease that afflicted Clare’s older sister when she was a child, the lack of understanding and treatment of the disease, along with the eventual loss of her sister to this disease. It is upsetting and it will appeal to your heartstrings. It made me frustrated and angry that in this era, when I was a child too, there was a clear lack of understanding around the debilitating illness that consumed Clare’s sister. Despite it all, this family is surrounded by love and support, which touched me very much.
A death in the family is sure to shape any young person and it did have an impact on Clare. Not long after the loss of her sister, Clare become aware of her body, which she saw as completely different to her peers. It led Clare on a journey to change the shape of her body and the resulting eating habits haunted Clare for many years. I found this aspect so raw, confronting and but also discerning.
As Clare matures and enters the formative years of her adulthood, she goes through the rites of passage that many of us have experienced at this time in our lives. I found this stage of Clare’s life connective. She experiences heartache, career exploration, travel and she continues to dream about one day making it as a singer. I could relate and I did feel her moments of pain, realisation and pure agony. I think this is where I would easily say that Your Own Kind of Girl is a book for the masses, it has ubiquitous appeal.
We journey on with Clare as she flourishes into a young woman, with the same battle scars many of us have acquired during our lives. The moments where Clare meets her soul mate and finally breaks into the music industry are poignant. However, Clare never really leaves all the suitcases of her past behind – the family and childhood grief, the struggles over her body, the anxiety and that voice that continues to tell her she isn’t quite good enough.
Last month, Your Kind of Girl was shortlisted in the highly regarded Indies Book Awards, in the nonfiction category. Clare Bowditch’s memoir puts up a good fight and it is a strong contender to take out this category. I am glad I took a chance on this one and listened to my valued bookish friends. You should open your heart and mind to this responsive memoir, which is full of understanding. Your Own Kind of Girl will definitely spark a, ‘that’s me too’ response.
‘And what I learned was this: it might sound daggy, and you might have heard it a million times before, but Ron was correct when he told me that , sometimes, what starts at a breakdown really can become the moment you look back on a breakthrough, as the moment in which you started to live your own kind of life.’
Your Own Kind of Girl is book #8 of the 2020 Australian Women Writers Challenge
May 13, 2020
I picked up this book because ABC The Drum started a book club to help people cope with COVID-19. I had no idea who Clare Bowditch was, so am only reviewing based upon what I read, rather than from the perspective of a music fan predisposed to like the author. The book is poorly written and repetitive. Instead of an integrated story, Your Own Kind of Girl starts from childhood over and over again. The first nine chapters outline Bowditch's journey from child to adult from the perspective of mental health. At the tenth chapter, we go back to childhood for Bowditch's journey into music. After that we're back to her first boyfriends to take the same route with the lifetime narrative of Bowditch's intimate partnerships.
"No one has ever asked me how I did it, how I 'survived' - it's just not something people seem to ask children. Maybe we should." (p. 37) Children do get a rough trot with childhood trauma, and that's probably the best insight you'll find in this book. All members of a family who experience loss need to have help to form acceptable narratives that will assist them going forward.
As for mental health, well the author clearly worships Claire Weekes, who is arguably the pioneer of the cognitive behaviour therapies that make up modern anxiety treatment. Beyond that, Bowditch largely has a layperson's perspective that buys into stigma: "I thought that when a doctor gave you a diagnosis, that was it, you were stuck with it for life. I thought that if I gave it a name, it would change the way I thought about myself. I thought names were cages." (p. 167) Bowditch then names her anxiety Frank, and most of her solution is telling Frank to fuck off (FOF).
With better writing, integrated storytelling and a much more brutal edit, it would be a decent book, but as it is, I can't say I recommend it... unless you’re a fan.
"No one has ever asked me how I did it, how I 'survived' - it's just not something people seem to ask children. Maybe we should." (p. 37) Children do get a rough trot with childhood trauma, and that's probably the best insight you'll find in this book. All members of a family who experience loss need to have help to form acceptable narratives that will assist them going forward.
As for mental health, well the author clearly worships Claire Weekes, who is arguably the pioneer of the cognitive behaviour therapies that make up modern anxiety treatment. Beyond that, Bowditch largely has a layperson's perspective that buys into stigma: "I thought that when a doctor gave you a diagnosis, that was it, you were stuck with it for life. I thought that if I gave it a name, it would change the way I thought about myself. I thought names were cages." (p. 167) Bowditch then names her anxiety Frank, and most of her solution is telling Frank to fuck off (FOF).
With better writing, integrated storytelling and a much more brutal edit, it would be a decent book, but as it is, I can't say I recommend it... unless you’re a fan.
March 15, 2020
OUTSTANDING!!! This is an honest, open and raw memoir from an extremely talented Australian entertainer. In a week when mental health has come to the forefront in my home state, Clare’s book shares with us her experiences and helps us understand a little more how it is sometimes what is below the surface that is a person’s truth at that time.
Sitting in a cafe reading this book is a little embarrassing when there are tears falling down your cheeks in to your pie. There is such connection with her story on so many levels, not just personal. It takes a brave person to share with the world such a brutal time in her life and how she broke through to slowly come through the other side.
I’m not going to tell you how I related to this story but I will say that her words spoke to me and have given me some great food for thought to help me at this given moment.
Clare’s words are simple and easy to read. There is heartbreak and there is hope. There is inspiration and there is light. Always when there is light there must be some dark but it is her reach for the light that really makes this book special and could have the potential to turn someone’s life around in the way that Dr Claire Weekes’ book did for her.
If you know someone who has struggles in their life, who has struggled or is just a fan of Clare Bowditch, this book is for you or them. Educate yourself about mental health and learn that the you who you are is enough! You are beautiful! You are loved!
I received an ARC of this book.
Sitting in a cafe reading this book is a little embarrassing when there are tears falling down your cheeks in to your pie. There is such connection with her story on so many levels, not just personal. It takes a brave person to share with the world such a brutal time in her life and how she broke through to slowly come through the other side.
I’m not going to tell you how I related to this story but I will say that her words spoke to me and have given me some great food for thought to help me at this given moment.
Clare’s words are simple and easy to read. There is heartbreak and there is hope. There is inspiration and there is light. Always when there is light there must be some dark but it is her reach for the light that really makes this book special and could have the potential to turn someone’s life around in the way that Dr Claire Weekes’ book did for her.
If you know someone who has struggles in their life, who has struggled or is just a fan of Clare Bowditch, this book is for you or them. Educate yourself about mental health and learn that the you who you are is enough! You are beautiful! You are loved!
I received an ARC of this book.
October 5, 2021
Wonderful memoir, Clare is a Melbourne based musician, actor, writer, mother and overall fascinating person who has been through the wringer in her life journey.
I particularly found the second chapter absolutely compelling and heartbreaking about her older sister who died when Clare was 5, her sister was 7. And followed later by many years of struggles with her weight and mental health.
Well written, amazing story. I had rarely heard her music or ever seen her act in Offspring, but have now been listening to some of her compelling music, which of course has more meaning now for me.
Recommended.
I particularly found the second chapter absolutely compelling and heartbreaking about her older sister who died when Clare was 5, her sister was 7. And followed later by many years of struggles with her weight and mental health.
Well written, amazing story. I had rarely heard her music or ever seen her act in Offspring, but have now been listening to some of her compelling music, which of course has more meaning now for me.
Recommended.
December 13, 2019
I was saving this for an easy read for a plane trip, but ended up reading it while sick in bed instead. Clare Bowditch seems like an incredibly lovely and kind woman who has worked hard to build a meaningful life after overcoming some challenging times, and never comes across as a victim of her circumstances. I related to a lot of her struggles and found myself unusually emotional while reading this book - my illness was definitely partly to blame there, but the way Bowditch writes about her family, her early childhood and the death of her sister Rowena is very honest, beautiful and the strongest section of the memoir.
However I struggled with the pace - it was sometimes hard to grasp the timeline and some events weren't given their due whereas others could have been edited down. Particularly towards the end, Bowditch seems to be skipping towards a happy ending while also trying to leave room for a second book. I wish the book ended when she met Marty, as all the rest felt rushed and much less dynamic than the first half.
However I struggled with the pace - it was sometimes hard to grasp the timeline and some events weren't given their due whereas others could have been edited down. Particularly towards the end, Bowditch seems to be skipping towards a happy ending while also trying to leave room for a second book. I wish the book ended when she met Marty, as all the rest felt rushed and much less dynamic than the first half.
November 20, 2019
A compelling memoir. I just want to squeeze that little girl on the cover in a huge hug and say, it will all be ok.
Clare Bowditch has been singing her heart out all her life, and writing songs to sing, and she's written something special here.
Her story could help a lot of people and I suspect it's already helped me. After all, don't we all have to remember to tell our inner doom and gloom voice to just shut the F*&K up :D
Reading this memoir is a great way to remind yourself of that.
Highly recommended.
A bonus is that you can listen to Clare Bowditch's music while reading this. :D
Thank you to Allen & Unwin for an uncorrected proof of this book. One that I have been extremely fortunate to read and review.
Clare Bowditch has been singing her heart out all her life, and writing songs to sing, and she's written something special here.
Her story could help a lot of people and I suspect it's already helped me. After all, don't we all have to remember to tell our inner doom and gloom voice to just shut the F*&K up :D
Reading this memoir is a great way to remind yourself of that.
Highly recommended.
A bonus is that you can listen to Clare Bowditch's music while reading this. :D
Thank you to Allen & Unwin for an uncorrected proof of this book. One that I have been extremely fortunate to read and review.
February 16, 2020
For those who do not know Clare, she is mainly known as a singer/songwriter in the Australian alternative music scene and her most famous albums came in the 2000s. What first attracted me and my now wife to her music is her voice and message. Her songs were always heartfelt and unique.
'Your Own Kind of Girl' is Clare's autobiography and, like her music, is also heartfelt and unique. But the messages and situations the Clare has endured are some that are common to many. Clare's life has been eventful and a struggle at times. She has been through and still struggles with her mental health. Her adolescence was fraught with trying to determine her identity.
But Clare is a wonderful storyteller. There are many laughs here and many tears to shed. There's joy and sorrow. But there is a plethora of messages and reassurances. One of the reasons why this book meant so much to me is that her struggles were some of my adolescent struggles, twenty-something struggles and even thirty something struggles.
I was wonderful to hear someone talk to me about themselves like it was over a coffee or dinner. I felt understood and loved because of what was shared.
I listened by audiobook which was more than narrated by Clare. I could swear that she didn't read a thing - she was just having a one way conversation with me. Clare's music opened the chapter and there was a special surprise at the end of the audiobook. Clare's mother joins in also. A gem of a book polished to perfection in the audio format.
'Your Own Kind of Girl' is Clare's autobiography and, like her music, is also heartfelt and unique. But the messages and situations the Clare has endured are some that are common to many. Clare's life has been eventful and a struggle at times. She has been through and still struggles with her mental health. Her adolescence was fraught with trying to determine her identity.
But Clare is a wonderful storyteller. There are many laughs here and many tears to shed. There's joy and sorrow. But there is a plethora of messages and reassurances. One of the reasons why this book meant so much to me is that her struggles were some of my adolescent struggles, twenty-something struggles and even thirty something struggles.
I was wonderful to hear someone talk to me about themselves like it was over a coffee or dinner. I felt understood and loved because of what was shared.
I listened by audiobook which was more than narrated by Clare. I could swear that she didn't read a thing - she was just having a one way conversation with me. Clare's music opened the chapter and there was a special surprise at the end of the audiobook. Clare's mother joins in also. A gem of a book polished to perfection in the audio format.
October 15, 2019
“Today, I think of the names we give mental illness more as a shorthand to describe the weather pattern our mind is stuck in at any one time. These names are not used to describe a sunny day; they are used to describe the storm... They say nothing of the strengths, or sunshine, the gold in them hills. They’re just here to predict the kind of weather pattern that might be ahead; which route we should take, and what we should pack if we want to stay dry.”
I had no idea just how cathartic of an experience reading this book would be!
I’ve long been aware of Clare Bowditch’s beautiful, soulful music, but this book has made me a fan of what an all-round inspiring woman she is.
In Your Own Kind of Girl, Clare is at her most honest and vulnerable, as she selflessly shares her experiences of losing her sister at a young age, her lifelong struggles with body positivity and mental wellness, her turbulent relationships and her growth as an artist.
I challenge anyone who reads this gem of a memoir to not come away feeling touched and uplifted by Clare’s story.
Thank you so much to @allenandunwin for generously sending it my way!
December 31, 2019
Clare Bowditch tells her story in the most honest way within this book.
In a candid and brutally honest way she describes the death of her older sister when she was young, her ongoing struggles with her weight and how she deals with an emotional breakdown while overseas.
It is a long road back for Clare but this book is so relevant to anyone who has suffered with anxiety, depression or the pressures of everyday life or even knows someone who has. It holds many hints to help with these times and shows that anyone can get through and survive.
I thoughly enjoyed this book as I think many would. Thank you Clare Bowditch for sharing your story with us as even today many people do not talk about mental health and still see it as a stigma. Your strength is amazing.
Also thanks to Allen & Unwin for this ARC. Much appreciated.
In a candid and brutally honest way she describes the death of her older sister when she was young, her ongoing struggles with her weight and how she deals with an emotional breakdown while overseas.
It is a long road back for Clare but this book is so relevant to anyone who has suffered with anxiety, depression or the pressures of everyday life or even knows someone who has. It holds many hints to help with these times and shows that anyone can get through and survive.
I thoughly enjoyed this book as I think many would. Thank you Clare Bowditch for sharing your story with us as even today many people do not talk about mental health and still see it as a stigma. Your strength is amazing.
Also thanks to Allen & Unwin for this ARC. Much appreciated.
September 8, 2021
This from what I can remember is the first memoir I have read and if it’s the last one i ever read i would not complain 😌 I can’t explain how important it was for me to have read this book right now !!! I honestly just want to immediately read it again!!
My favourite line and the last line of the book….
“I’m a human being. These storms make me ever more so.”
My favourite line and the last line of the book….
“I’m a human being. These storms make me ever more so.”
November 21, 2019
This is the book I needed when I was 15 years old and the book I need now. ❤️️ Clare is a goddamn national treasure and must be protected at all costs!!
April 26, 2020
No.
Not my kind a gal.
When I read a memoir, I’m looking for facts, told in an interesting way, a way that moves me, hits me, with realism. This memoir had way too much of what I’d call filler, fiction, detail that fits a narrative but not necessarily fact. AKA b/s rather than actual memory. It was repetitive, to the point of annoying, I lost any kind of empathy.
I had no prior knowledge of the author and having read the book, I have no desire to do so.
Not my kind a gal.
When I read a memoir, I’m looking for facts, told in an interesting way, a way that moves me, hits me, with realism. This memoir had way too much of what I’d call filler, fiction, detail that fits a narrative but not necessarily fact. AKA b/s rather than actual memory. It was repetitive, to the point of annoying, I lost any kind of empathy.
I had no prior knowledge of the author and having read the book, I have no desire to do so.
December 4, 2019
I wanted to like this, but I struggled to get past the second chapter. Too much "I remember when..." repeated over and over. Maybe you need to go into it knowing more about the author or as a fan of the author. I hadn't heard of her before I embarked on this but hadn't thought it would matter much. Apparently it does.
December 12, 2019
Not the story I was expecting but most definitely a story I needed.
July 16, 2020
I wanted to like this but found it hard to read. For me it felt tedious. Parts were interesting and engaging and other parts feel long, drawn out, and difficult to attend to.
July 20, 2020
"But you weren't born to be 'some other girl'. You're gonna be your own kind of girl."
Baring her soul for all to see, Clare Bowditch shares the "stories we tell ourselves and what happens when we believe them". Growing up in Melbourne, Australia was bliss for Clare and her siblings until her big sister Rowena ("Rowie" as called affectionately by her family) fell ill and was admitted to hospital. Back in the early 1980s, MS was a difficult thing to diagnose and treat not to mention this was a very rare form. The odds stacked against them, the Bowditch family fought hard and tried every avenue of known treatment until the very end. It is at this time that Clare finds solace and comfort in food. She had always been big but never understood how much different she was. Having finally confessed to her mother through tears her desire to be "normal" Clare goes on her very first diet, just one of countless over the years to come. This is her journey to find love for herself and her body just the way she is.
Although I have been blessed with a very healthy immediate family, I feel so connected to Clare and her story. I too have struggled with my weight my entire life, my earliest memories being of staring into a full length mirror and wishing I looked like the other little girls in school. I have since found a love of distance running and seem to have a handle on my weight but it really hit home when she goes on to describe the joy when devouring food, and a abundance of it at that.
5 very solid stars to 'Your Own Kind of Girl'. Thank you, Ms. Bowditch. Keep telling your wonderful stories with the world for it's a better world for it.
Baring her soul for all to see, Clare Bowditch shares the "stories we tell ourselves and what happens when we believe them". Growing up in Melbourne, Australia was bliss for Clare and her siblings until her big sister Rowena ("Rowie" as called affectionately by her family) fell ill and was admitted to hospital. Back in the early 1980s, MS was a difficult thing to diagnose and treat not to mention this was a very rare form. The odds stacked against them, the Bowditch family fought hard and tried every avenue of known treatment until the very end. It is at this time that Clare finds solace and comfort in food. She had always been big but never understood how much different she was. Having finally confessed to her mother through tears her desire to be "normal" Clare goes on her very first diet, just one of countless over the years to come. This is her journey to find love for herself and her body just the way she is.
Although I have been blessed with a very healthy immediate family, I feel so connected to Clare and her story. I too have struggled with my weight my entire life, my earliest memories being of staring into a full length mirror and wishing I looked like the other little girls in school. I have since found a love of distance running and seem to have a handle on my weight but it really hit home when she goes on to describe the joy when devouring food, and a abundance of it at that.
5 very solid stars to 'Your Own Kind of Girl'. Thank you, Ms. Bowditch. Keep telling your wonderful stories with the world for it's a better world for it.
November 19, 2020
Dear Clare,
Your memoir is a triumph - I have not been as ‘taken with’ or admired a book in such a deep and commendable way for far too long.
Before I read Your Own Kind of Girl I don’t think I had ever listened to one of your songs but that has now been put to rights. How could I not search out your music and songs when they are so much part of your life you described so powerfully, heartbreakingly, honestly,unflinchingly, tenderly, joyfully and oh! so wisely in your remarkable memoir.
I imagine that many people, both those who have experienced or are experiencing “mental ill-health” and those who have not had this misfortune, have benefited from reading
Your Own Kind of Girl . I appreciated the insight the book gave me into how painfully others are living their lives and how you believe that,
“... within the next few decades, we will have found a much better way of talking about, thinking about and treating what we currently call mental ill health.” and, “We need to keep striving to invent better, clearer language through which to have this conversation and I believe we will, and I want people like you, and me, to be part of that development.”
pp 168,169.
I’m confident that after reading your memoir many more people will have a much clearer understanding of what mental ill-health looks, sounds and feels like and will want to be part of creating that better language you speak of.
There are so many aspects of your memoir that I loved - it made me think, understand, cry and laugh very many times.
I fairly cheered when Dr Claire Weekes’s book, Self-Help for Your Nerves: Learn to Relax and Enjoy Life Again by Overcoming Stress and Fear seemed to be just what you needed to set you on your path to wellness and cheered again when the ex-seminarian Ron suggested that your ‘breakdown’ could actually be seen as a ‘breakthrough’. This man who “looked like Graeme from The Goodies!” p 175 gave you the belief and the means to make this true. “... every time I walked out of Ron’s office, I felt a little stronger, a little closer to who I wanted to be.” p 174. How fortunate you were to have such wonderful men and women to partner you on your journey to wellness.
I marvelled at the resilience and solidarity of your family, in particular your Mum and Dad who you “adored” for very good reason! Their support for you throughout both the sad and the happy parts of your life’s journey never wavered and reading about your fine relationship with your Mum and Dad was a joy.
Yes, there is joy aplenty in the latter stages of your memoir as you relate in an oftentimes amusing and always engaging style how you fare professionally and personally in your "post breakthrough" world and become “your own kind of girl”. I especially loved reading about your romances, your married life and your eventful and long winded! pregnancy. I was intrigued to discover more about your successful professional life - that all that singing from your earliest days, your commitment to your craft and a lot of very hard work meant that you became a highly respected songwriter, performer and broadcaster - well done!
Thank you Clare for your amazing memoir, I enjoyed it immensely and will recommend it to many.
Louise
Your memoir is a triumph - I have not been as ‘taken with’ or admired a book in such a deep and commendable way for far too long.
Before I read Your Own Kind of Girl I don’t think I had ever listened to one of your songs but that has now been put to rights. How could I not search out your music and songs when they are so much part of your life you described so powerfully, heartbreakingly, honestly,unflinchingly, tenderly, joyfully and oh! so wisely in your remarkable memoir.
I imagine that many people, both those who have experienced or are experiencing “mental ill-health” and those who have not had this misfortune, have benefited from reading
Your Own Kind of Girl . I appreciated the insight the book gave me into how painfully others are living their lives and how you believe that,
“... within the next few decades, we will have found a much better way of talking about, thinking about and treating what we currently call mental ill health.” and, “We need to keep striving to invent better, clearer language through which to have this conversation and I believe we will, and I want people like you, and me, to be part of that development.”
pp 168,169.
I’m confident that after reading your memoir many more people will have a much clearer understanding of what mental ill-health looks, sounds and feels like and will want to be part of creating that better language you speak of.
There are so many aspects of your memoir that I loved - it made me think, understand, cry and laugh very many times.
I fairly cheered when Dr Claire Weekes’s book, Self-Help for Your Nerves: Learn to Relax and Enjoy Life Again by Overcoming Stress and Fear seemed to be just what you needed to set you on your path to wellness and cheered again when the ex-seminarian Ron suggested that your ‘breakdown’ could actually be seen as a ‘breakthrough’. This man who “looked like Graeme from The Goodies!” p 175 gave you the belief and the means to make this true. “... every time I walked out of Ron’s office, I felt a little stronger, a little closer to who I wanted to be.” p 174. How fortunate you were to have such wonderful men and women to partner you on your journey to wellness.
I marvelled at the resilience and solidarity of your family, in particular your Mum and Dad who you “adored” for very good reason! Their support for you throughout both the sad and the happy parts of your life’s journey never wavered and reading about your fine relationship with your Mum and Dad was a joy.
Yes, there is joy aplenty in the latter stages of your memoir as you relate in an oftentimes amusing and always engaging style how you fare professionally and personally in your "post breakthrough" world and become “your own kind of girl”. I especially loved reading about your romances, your married life and your eventful and long winded! pregnancy. I was intrigued to discover more about your successful professional life - that all that singing from your earliest days, your commitment to your craft and a lot of very hard work meant that you became a highly respected songwriter, performer and broadcaster - well done!
Thank you Clare for your amazing memoir, I enjoyed it immensely and will recommend it to many.
Louise
Read
March 2, 2020I don't read a lot of non-fiction but given my disordered eating history a friend thought I'd like this and I did.
I could very much relate to a lot of the exhausting internal discussion Bowditch had to grapple with and continue to struggle with that myself; despite usually knowing 'my Frank' (inner critic) is not always right.
The only thing I usually have difficulty with in non-fiction is the logic of some of the chapter flow if not unfolding chronologically... and felt that way here, as we seemed to double-back on a couple of occasions to talk about singing, school etc. The pacing was also a little confusing and I wish the editors had included more point-in-time grounding references as I assumed years had passed at one point (after her 21st birthday in England and back in Oz), but it must have only been weeks or months.
Overall through, I loved that Bowditch followed through on her commitment to share her own story and can only imagine how hard it must have been.
I could very much relate to a lot of the exhausting internal discussion Bowditch had to grapple with and continue to struggle with that myself; despite usually knowing 'my Frank' (inner critic) is not always right.
The only thing I usually have difficulty with in non-fiction is the logic of some of the chapter flow if not unfolding chronologically... and felt that way here, as we seemed to double-back on a couple of occasions to talk about singing, school etc. The pacing was also a little confusing and I wish the editors had included more point-in-time grounding references as I assumed years had passed at one point (after her 21st birthday in England and back in Oz), but it must have only been weeks or months.
Overall through, I loved that Bowditch followed through on her commitment to share her own story and can only imagine how hard it must have been.
December 27, 2021
It was good to listen to Clare narrate this book. She sounds like a lovely person and her story is very honest and heartfelt. I could relate to some of her feelings of anxiety and self doubt and I hope she has been able to help many others by being so candid and calm while sharing her tips for confronting and dealing with these conditions. I enjoyed the second half of the book more when she talked about her music career and relationship with now husband Marty.
November 26, 2019
I have never read a more meaningful memoir, nor a more spot on account of trauma, grief, and mental illness until now, with this book: Your Own Kind of Girl. From my reckoning, Clare and I are of a similar age, so there was a great deal of nostalgia and relatable moments throughout this book for me. As a teen in the 90s, I was heavily influenced by the skeletal super model movement, and while eating disorders are more complicated than simply emulating media impressions, this was, for me, where it all began, where the ‘permission’ to be as thin as possible came from. So yes, there was a lot within this book that reached out and grabbed a hold of me. So much.
‘This crying felt like it was for a million reasons and, at the same time, I couldn’t pinpoint even one. This crying felt like there was no use talking about it because it wouldn’t make any sense, ever.’
Clare Bowditch successfully demonstrates with this book that she is a brilliant writer. Many of us have already known this via her songs, but she displays her style with so much more depth within this book. It is honest, raw, brought me to tears several times, but it also made me laugh, and smile with happiness. To be able to unpack your life with such finesse, and with such a lack of self-pity and external blame, is a real skill. Historically, I am not a fan of memoirs. However, Your Own Kind of Girl is a memoir unlike any I have read before, so much so, that I kind of forgot I was even reading a memoir – that good!
‘Sometimes, what starts at a breakdown really can become the moment you look back on as a breakthrough, as the moment in which you started to live your own kind of life.’
I loved the arrangement of this book too. It wasn’t necessarily linear, but more themed around the events and stages of Clare’s journey towards becoming her own kind of girl. The chapters were quaintly titled with Clare’s own song titles – I love this sort of attention to detail, it gets me every time.
‘This time, I was able to make something of my heartbreak, and this is when I got it – that songs are like containers. They are one of the only things in the world strong enough to hold emotions this raw, and this contradictory. A song is like a Tardis of meaning.’
Overall, after reading this book, I reached the end and thought that not only is Clare Bowditch a strong and beautiful woman, she is a role model for anyone trying to make their way into a creative career. This is a book for anyone and everyone. There is so much in it about being a human in a chaotic world and I seriously cannot recommend it highly enough.
‘I suppose I’m telling this story because I want to make the point – a career is a thing that’s made up of one tiny step, one small act of courage after the other.’
Thanks extended to Allen & Unwin for providing me with a copy of Your Own Kind Of Girl for review.
‘This crying felt like it was for a million reasons and, at the same time, I couldn’t pinpoint even one. This crying felt like there was no use talking about it because it wouldn’t make any sense, ever.’
Clare Bowditch successfully demonstrates with this book that she is a brilliant writer. Many of us have already known this via her songs, but she displays her style with so much more depth within this book. It is honest, raw, brought me to tears several times, but it also made me laugh, and smile with happiness. To be able to unpack your life with such finesse, and with such a lack of self-pity and external blame, is a real skill. Historically, I am not a fan of memoirs. However, Your Own Kind of Girl is a memoir unlike any I have read before, so much so, that I kind of forgot I was even reading a memoir – that good!
‘Sometimes, what starts at a breakdown really can become the moment you look back on as a breakthrough, as the moment in which you started to live your own kind of life.’
I loved the arrangement of this book too. It wasn’t necessarily linear, but more themed around the events and stages of Clare’s journey towards becoming her own kind of girl. The chapters were quaintly titled with Clare’s own song titles – I love this sort of attention to detail, it gets me every time.
‘This time, I was able to make something of my heartbreak, and this is when I got it – that songs are like containers. They are one of the only things in the world strong enough to hold emotions this raw, and this contradictory. A song is like a Tardis of meaning.’
Overall, after reading this book, I reached the end and thought that not only is Clare Bowditch a strong and beautiful woman, she is a role model for anyone trying to make their way into a creative career. This is a book for anyone and everyone. There is so much in it about being a human in a chaotic world and I seriously cannot recommend it highly enough.
‘I suppose I’m telling this story because I want to make the point – a career is a thing that’s made up of one tiny step, one small act of courage after the other.’
Thanks extended to Allen & Unwin for providing me with a copy of Your Own Kind Of Girl for review.
March 12, 2020
I've enjoyed Ms. Bowditch's music over the years, and her occasional appearances on television shows such as Rockwiz, Spicks & Specks and Q&A. However, I'd never picked up much of her backstory until reading this memoire.
Bowditch's relation of her experience of lifelong grief over the childhood death of her elder sister (when Bowditch was 6), her protracted battles with body image issues, depression and anxiety, and a pretty mean case of negative self-talk, are honest and courageous. Although her story is often painful, her strength of character and quirky, creative personality shine throughout. Bowditch was fortunate, which she frequently acknowledges, to come from a close and loving family who focussed on values of community, faith and service. She also benefited from a great education at several Melbourne institutions and was able to rely on the physical and financial support of her family when she needed to. Not everyone has those opportunities, but as Your Own Kind of Girl attests, no matter what our privilege, our sense of self can be fundamentally undermined and reassembled subject to events or circumstances beyond our control. In Bowditch's case, her sister Rowena's death profoundly affected the development of her identity, internalising a type of survivor's guilt and a tendency to catastrophise. Similarly, subjected to the right triggers, anyone could potentially find themselves suffering from crippling self-doubt, panic attacks and periods of darkest depression. It seems part of the human condition that we often feel most alone during such experiences, which is ironic given the prevalence of such conditions in the modern world.
The central portion of the book details Bowditch's gradual recovery from an emotional breakdown (characterised as a "breakthrough" by one therapist) she suffered in her early 20s, while living overseas. As a fellow long-term companion of the "black dog", I found many of her ruminations fascinating and in accord with my own experience. I've even employed her "F*** off, Frank!" technique with my own inner voice over the past couple of days, and found it surprisingly effective!
The book ends on a high note, as Bowditch emerges like the archetypal butterfly from the crysallis, finally finds the courage to pursue a musical career, ends a cycle of bad relationships when she meets and falls in love with a kindred spirit and learns to feel comfortable in her own skin.
All in all, a fascinating memoire of a wonderful performer, but so much more than that - a celebration of courage, resiliance, vulnerability and self-acceptance.
Bowditch's relation of her experience of lifelong grief over the childhood death of her elder sister (when Bowditch was 6), her protracted battles with body image issues, depression and anxiety, and a pretty mean case of negative self-talk, are honest and courageous. Although her story is often painful, her strength of character and quirky, creative personality shine throughout. Bowditch was fortunate, which she frequently acknowledges, to come from a close and loving family who focussed on values of community, faith and service. She also benefited from a great education at several Melbourne institutions and was able to rely on the physical and financial support of her family when she needed to. Not everyone has those opportunities, but as Your Own Kind of Girl attests, no matter what our privilege, our sense of self can be fundamentally undermined and reassembled subject to events or circumstances beyond our control. In Bowditch's case, her sister Rowena's death profoundly affected the development of her identity, internalising a type of survivor's guilt and a tendency to catastrophise. Similarly, subjected to the right triggers, anyone could potentially find themselves suffering from crippling self-doubt, panic attacks and periods of darkest depression. It seems part of the human condition that we often feel most alone during such experiences, which is ironic given the prevalence of such conditions in the modern world.
The central portion of the book details Bowditch's gradual recovery from an emotional breakdown (characterised as a "breakthrough" by one therapist) she suffered in her early 20s, while living overseas. As a fellow long-term companion of the "black dog", I found many of her ruminations fascinating and in accord with my own experience. I've even employed her "F*** off, Frank!" technique with my own inner voice over the past couple of days, and found it surprisingly effective!
The book ends on a high note, as Bowditch emerges like the archetypal butterfly from the crysallis, finally finds the courage to pursue a musical career, ends a cycle of bad relationships when she meets and falls in love with a kindred spirit and learns to feel comfortable in her own skin.
All in all, a fascinating memoire of a wonderful performer, but so much more than that - a celebration of courage, resiliance, vulnerability and self-acceptance.
April 26, 2020
I went into this book with high expectations - after reading some stellar reviews and waiting (what seemed a lifetime!) for the my hold to become available from library, the anticipation was alive and well! As I was reading the book though I have to admit to feeling a little flat (disappointed?) and not necessarily because of the content, I can definitely appreciate and identify with some of Clare’s struggles (particularly the internalised fatphobia) but it felt like the story was quite repetitive, lacked some insight and ownership, which for me saw the book losing a little momentum.
In saying that, I’m really not even sure that’s the right way to describe it.. I know it’s a memoir and so it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) follow the same plot style as a fiction novel. But something about the book fell a little flat for me, particularly from about half way through.
I appreciate Clare’s candid recount of her struggles and know this book will mean a lot to a lot of people who are living with mental illness. Oh and I have added an extra half star for Frank!! FOF! 3 stars.
In saying that, I’m really not even sure that’s the right way to describe it.. I know it’s a memoir and so it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) follow the same plot style as a fiction novel. But something about the book fell a little flat for me, particularly from about half way through.
I appreciate Clare’s candid recount of her struggles and know this book will mean a lot to a lot of people who are living with mental illness. Oh and I have added an extra half star for Frank!! FOF! 3 stars.
February 29, 2020
I borrowed this memoir from the library but will need to buy it. I couldn't highlight, circle, annotate it as I really wanted to. Fuck off Frank is my new mantra. I am also listening to Clare Bowditch's free EP as I type this. I'm ashamed to say I've never heard of her or her music before, but it's wonderful. You definitely don't need to be a fan of her music or musician memoirs to read this book. You just need to be a human being.
January 22, 2020
I found this hard to read because of the mental health content, but it was beautifully written and such an interesting story of Clare Bowditch's life. Her music was so important to me when I was a uni student and it was lovely to find out some of the snippets behind her writing of some of the songs.
April 29, 2020
I don’t know whether to give this one or two stars. I think Clare is a great person, but this was painstaking to listen to on audiobook. I think a memoir can go either way when read by the author. I gave up.
July 30, 2020
I really disliked the audiobook narration. Way too over the top, it was like she was performing story-time to preschoolers. Too may terrible accents, too melodramatic, just too much cringe that distracted from the actual story.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 684 reviews