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Seattle Stories #1
After Ben
No more kissing a ghost…
A year after the sudden death of his longtime partner, Ben, Theo Anderson is still grieving. The last thing he’s looking for is a new lover, but as Theo discovers, sometimes life has its own plans.
The strength of his attraction to fellow gym member Peter is surprising. So is how compelling he finds Morgan, a new friend he makes online. Morgan is witty and fierce on the internet forum they frequent, while Peter is physically present in a way that’s hard to ignore.
Both men bring Theo closer to acceptance: he needs to lay Ben’s memory to rest if he’s to start afresh with a new lover.
Getting honest about the reasons for his yearlong isolation means confronting why he lost Ben… only just when he’s ready to commit, Theo finds he isn't the only one haunted by the past.
Whether with Peter or with Morgan, choosing to love again—after Ben—might not be Theo’s toughest challenge.
A year after the sudden death of his longtime partner, Ben, Theo Anderson is still grieving. The last thing he’s looking for is a new lover, but as Theo discovers, sometimes life has its own plans.
The strength of his attraction to fellow gym member Peter is surprising. So is how compelling he finds Morgan, a new friend he makes online. Morgan is witty and fierce on the internet forum they frequent, while Peter is physically present in a way that’s hard to ignore.
Both men bring Theo closer to acceptance: he needs to lay Ben’s memory to rest if he’s to start afresh with a new lover.
Getting honest about the reasons for his yearlong isolation means confronting why he lost Ben… only just when he’s ready to commit, Theo finds he isn't the only one haunted by the past.
Whether with Peter or with Morgan, choosing to love again—after Ben—might not be Theo’s toughest challenge.
344 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2012
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September 16, 2022
Oh look at that, another popular, well-loved story considered to be emotional and heartbreaking full of praise that I sadly failed to understand.
To be fair, I have COVID. I tested positive last week and quarantining since, so I’ve been miserable. Not because I’m isolating, no. I do that anyway. It’s because it has made me grumpy. I haven’t had luck on my recent reads.
Am I using my sickness as an excuse for my lack of understanding this book was supposed to make me feel? You could say that… Or I can just be honest and say I did not enjoy this one bit and felt as dull and emotionless reading it. A couple reviewers stated this is a story they wouldn’t forget soon after reading it, one they would cherish, hold and remember for a while. Meanwhile, I’m writing this review because I’m already forgetting it.
I’m also questioning where exactly I went wrong. What was so emotional about this story? What exactly is even memorable?
But let’s blame COVID for that, yes?
I’ve stated before how not only am I a huge fan of books with an age gap in the relationship (which I consider to be ten years or more, so this was perfect), and stories dealing with grief. It’s much better for me when both characters are grieving because I love seeing the two different yet similar perspectives of the characters. It’s amazing how two broken and lost souls can find each other, giving life a second chance, becoming hopeful, and realizing there’s more to live for. Still, stories dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one (especially a partner the main character was with for a long time) are usually emotional for me. While this featured one character grieving, I was ready to read about the emotional journey he would slowly build for himself.
Hell, I’ll even admit I cried before even starting this book. I was reading the blurb and going across some reviews from friends before actually starting it. The moment I read, “Sometimes, just sometimes, Theo forgot he was single.” I came to realize that the reason was because I thought about being in their shoes. What’s it like being so caught up in the life of someone else that within a blink of an eye, that person is gone? Imagine becoming accustomed to a certain cycle of living, a certain way of being, only to have to change it because it starts consuming you by eating you alive? What if you had adjusted to a specific system for that person only for you to have to adjust to the system you had before? How do you go from living in a certain way to another? I thought about these questions and the thoughts started consuming me. It made me emotional just thinking about it despite how I’ve never had to deal with that, not even grief alone. But the thought about reading the small steps an individual will take towards putting their life back together is a journey I feel blessed to be able to be a part of. It’s a development that takes so much courage and determination, no matter how challenging and difficult it is.
However, while I’m not a believer in the whole “love cures all” bullshit, I won’t lie and say that I also went into this book expecting a relationship between a grieving older man in his forties and a younger man in his twenties. Just like that. Simple. Any other complications weren’t expected but would be appreciated, such as small obstacles getting in the way, moving on from you past lover, accepting that it’s okay to love again, and so on. So yes, I also went into this expecting a romantic relationship to develop between two men, no matter what their backgrounds were, as they find hope in their life again.
But I didn’t get that.
I got this instead.
For starters, romance isn’t a big focus here. I would be okay with that if I was expecting it. While I would be okay with what this book offered to mean in Theo’s character, I wasn’t particularly a fan of how dull it all felt. His grief takes over him throughout almost the entire book, and I felt as if Theo never stopped pining over his dead lover, Ben. There are a lot of flashbacks and memories of Ben and Theo together; scenes of them when they had sex, when Ben met Theo’s family, when Theo met Ben’s family, when they were together, etc. While I appreciate having some backstory and information on their relationship, especially so that it can help understand where Theo may be coming from, I don’t need to know every detail of Ben and the two together. It was tiring and annoying. He wasn’t as relevant as our future love interest. No to mention, he was dead. Speaking of him in passing was one thing, but Theo kept thinking about and pining over him that it felt like Theo would always be miserable. Instead of emotional guilt it felt like stressful pining. It took away from the emotion the story tried to offer. Scenes that could have added more strength to not only Theo, his growth, strength, and second chance at life were replaced with scenes of Ben that felt irrelevant to the story.
I didn’t care too much about the first time Ben and Theo had sex in the office. I didn’t care about the time Ben helped Theo pack up boxes from his college life. I didn’t care about the first time Ben had seen Theo off when he went to grad school, or his supportive words, or how much he cared. I didn’t care about how many times Ben was home organizing the business he had with his brother. I really didn’t care about knowing all these details that added no emotion to a story that was supposed to be emotional. Unfortunately, I didn’t care about Ben at all.
The word “Ben” was mentioned 419 times. Was that really necessary? Absofuckinglutely not.
For a story dealing with two strong topics, they felt either like too much and not enough. Theo’s grief felt like his own personality trait. I couldn’t begin to understand who he was besides a griever. Although knowing he had a solid job but was in the process of firing his current employees that would require him to hire interns, there weren’t that many memorable traits about Theo himself. Every page felt dreadful, as if I had to be reminded that Ben did something specific that would send Theo down memory lane as he recalls memories of him.
Adding on to that, going back to how the romance wasn’t a big focus on the sorry kind of bothered me. Yes, love isn’t everything Theo needed, and it isn’t what everyone or anyone needs to “move forward.” But that is essentially what I came here for. I came thinking I would get an emotional story of two people bringing each other back to the world in their own way, slowly building up a life together, as they begin to mutually feel attracted. Instead, what I first got was an unrequited side of love between a man named Peter who made it clear he had a crush on Theo, and an online friendship between Theo and a stranger named Morgan, who he forms a connection with through an online forum. There’s Peter first, who I essentially felt bad for, but am also glad he gets his own story and HEA in the sequel. While there was some potential for the two, it was bound to never happen due to Theo not being mentally ready. That is all fair and his reasonings made sense. While his body craved that desire, his mind was still stuck on Ben, and I appreciated how Theo made it clear he wasn’t going to be leading Peter on. But then you have Morgan, who is just an online friend that Theo chats with. While their friendship develops for a couple months through online messaging, the two still don’t know what they look like. Yet, we’re supposed to accept and believe that Theo comes to form an attraction for Morgan, even though he has never not only seen him face-to-face, but essentially doesn’t even know what he looks like. There’s no talk on physical features that give an idea who he is.
But this doesn’t matter because Theo is developing feelings for this so-called Morgan. Their friendship is definitely realistic and believable, even when they say they miss each other. I understand and know what it’s like to form a strong relationship with online friends. However, if you expect me to believe there are some sort of crushing, feelings, and attraction involved when the two have never seen each other, no matter how much they now know about each other, and no matter how personal that can be, I’ll be confused. Where did these sudden feelings come from? Why did these feelings form? What exactly is it about person A that person B likes and vice versa? How are you falling for someone you’ve never even seen, let alone met? Long distance relationships are a thing. It’s been shown and proven how possible it is to fall in love with someone you met online. I have a couple friends like that myself. One of my closest friends met her now-fiancé on Tinder and the first night they met, they hit it off. However, I find it completely different when you actually see the person and talk to them face-to-face. There a possibility that you can become attracted even through a screen. But when it’s a case of Theo and Morgan, I can’t. Perhaps it’s really just me, and maybe I was supposed to just accept it and move on, but I don’t understand how the progress was even made in the first place. How did it go from point A to point B?
There wasn’t anything Theo couldn’t talk to him about. The more he thought about it, the more Theo guessed — knew — that it was just a matter of time. They would meet, and the amazing chemistry they had would translate into real life.
(What chemistry are we talking about? Just because you’ve been talking for a couple months and have flirted here and there does not mean there is chemistry.)
Theo started every day with Morgan’s sleepy greeting in his in-box, and ended it — after an evening full of argument and laughter — with his hand down his sleep pants. He couldn’t shop without thinking of the man, or work out, or concentrate on the news. His head was full of Morgan, and he only wanted more. He wanted to talk to him face-to-face.
(I’m trying to understand how he ended every day with his hand down his sleep pants—who does he imagine? Is there a face he makes up as he touched himself? Is it all completely imaginary? He’s never heard Morgan’s voice either, so what exactly would that sleepy greeting be? A fucking message on his inbox?)
“You know I don’t usually put out on the first date, right?”
(That’s what they all say.)
“Morgan.” He wished so hard that he would just say what was on his mind. “Have you hurt someone? Is that what this is about? People do get over heartbreak. You can’t worry forever about breaking up with someone.” Morgan shook his head. “Well, if you haven’t hurt anyone, and you didn’t cheat, then I can’t imagine anything worth worrying this much over. If you really want to feel bad about something, go thump my refrigerator.” He chanced a smile.
Morgan almost smiled back. “I just . . . I can’t . . . .”
“Stop. I don’t care. Whatever it was, I don’t care. It’s in the past. You’re happy here, aren’t you? I mean, with me. You are happy with me?” Morgan’s answer was a kiss — deep and slow and devoid of desperation. They shifted together, pressing close, stroking each other for a while.
(But you asked him… And now you’re telling him you don’t care???)
When the two do eventually meet (which wasn’t planned, actually), the hit it off. Sexually, of course. The way they talked before about their sex lives comes to life for the two, and most of these interactions are spent that way. Since they got to know each other through their messaging, there wasn’t that much else they needed to do. They were already friends, so it was as if they felt they didn’t need to do anything else but see where it went. But I, as the reader, disagree. I felt it necessary for them to talk before and understand where they were coming from in a physical point of view, one that was talked through in person as they finally faced each other. Ignoring the fact that they had just met for the first time, which was unplanned and not how both hoped, their lack of communication weakened the story. At this point, it felt like the romance was trying to make its way forward by taking others. Yet, it felt too late and rushed, as if the author felt like the romance needed to be the central point and not the grief Theo was dealing with before. The change felt sudden and completely underdeveloped. I didn’t like this. Not only because of what he was going through, but because of how much emotion was trying to pack up in a small amount of time. Theo went from someone not being mentally ready but all it took was a faceless man on the internet? Suddenly he was craving it, body and soul. I didn’t buy it. It was as if Theo’s life started revolving around Morgan. I was at the point where I didn’t care about either character, the relationship, or what was happening as the story moved forward.
Like I said, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I missed a detail or two. By this point though I didn’t care about either characters. They probably had one or two sweet moments but I probably missed them because of how much I was skimming to get to the end.
Maybe.
And oh, that ending. I can’t even talk about it. What a horrible, horrendous, confusing, stupid ending.
I really missed the memo with this one.
Overall: boring, overrated, emotionless, and extremely forgettable.
To be fair, I have COVID. I tested positive last week and quarantining since, so I’ve been miserable. Not because I’m isolating, no. I do that anyway. It’s because it has made me grumpy. I haven’t had luck on my recent reads.
Am I using my sickness as an excuse for my lack of understanding this book was supposed to make me feel? You could say that… Or I can just be honest and say I did not enjoy this one bit and felt as dull and emotionless reading it. A couple reviewers stated this is a story they wouldn’t forget soon after reading it, one they would cherish, hold and remember for a while. Meanwhile, I’m writing this review because I’m already forgetting it.
I’m also questioning where exactly I went wrong. What was so emotional about this story? What exactly is even memorable?
But let’s blame COVID for that, yes?
I’ve stated before how not only am I a huge fan of books with an age gap in the relationship (which I consider to be ten years or more, so this was perfect), and stories dealing with grief. It’s much better for me when both characters are grieving because I love seeing the two different yet similar perspectives of the characters. It’s amazing how two broken and lost souls can find each other, giving life a second chance, becoming hopeful, and realizing there’s more to live for. Still, stories dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one (especially a partner the main character was with for a long time) are usually emotional for me. While this featured one character grieving, I was ready to read about the emotional journey he would slowly build for himself.
Hell, I’ll even admit I cried before even starting this book. I was reading the blurb and going across some reviews from friends before actually starting it. The moment I read, “Sometimes, just sometimes, Theo forgot he was single.” I came to realize that the reason was because I thought about being in their shoes. What’s it like being so caught up in the life of someone else that within a blink of an eye, that person is gone? Imagine becoming accustomed to a certain cycle of living, a certain way of being, only to have to change it because it starts consuming you by eating you alive? What if you had adjusted to a specific system for that person only for you to have to adjust to the system you had before? How do you go from living in a certain way to another? I thought about these questions and the thoughts started consuming me. It made me emotional just thinking about it despite how I’ve never had to deal with that, not even grief alone. But the thought about reading the small steps an individual will take towards putting their life back together is a journey I feel blessed to be able to be a part of. It’s a development that takes so much courage and determination, no matter how challenging and difficult it is.
However, while I’m not a believer in the whole “love cures all” bullshit, I won’t lie and say that I also went into this book expecting a relationship between a grieving older man in his forties and a younger man in his twenties. Just like that. Simple. Any other complications weren’t expected but would be appreciated, such as small obstacles getting in the way, moving on from you past lover, accepting that it’s okay to love again, and so on. So yes, I also went into this expecting a romantic relationship to develop between two men, no matter what their backgrounds were, as they find hope in their life again.
But I didn’t get that.
I got this instead.
For starters, romance isn’t a big focus here. I would be okay with that if I was expecting it. While I would be okay with what this book offered to mean in Theo’s character, I wasn’t particularly a fan of how dull it all felt. His grief takes over him throughout almost the entire book, and I felt as if Theo never stopped pining over his dead lover, Ben. There are a lot of flashbacks and memories of Ben and Theo together; scenes of them when they had sex, when Ben met Theo’s family, when Theo met Ben’s family, when they were together, etc. While I appreciate having some backstory and information on their relationship, especially so that it can help understand where Theo may be coming from, I don’t need to know every detail of Ben and the two together. It was tiring and annoying. He wasn’t as relevant as our future love interest. No to mention, he was dead. Speaking of him in passing was one thing, but Theo kept thinking about and pining over him that it felt like Theo would always be miserable. Instead of emotional guilt it felt like stressful pining. It took away from the emotion the story tried to offer. Scenes that could have added more strength to not only Theo, his growth, strength, and second chance at life were replaced with scenes of Ben that felt irrelevant to the story.
I didn’t care too much about the first time Ben and Theo had sex in the office. I didn’t care about the time Ben helped Theo pack up boxes from his college life. I didn’t care about the first time Ben had seen Theo off when he went to grad school, or his supportive words, or how much he cared. I didn’t care about how many times Ben was home organizing the business he had with his brother. I really didn’t care about knowing all these details that added no emotion to a story that was supposed to be emotional. Unfortunately, I didn’t care about Ben at all.
The word “Ben” was mentioned 419 times. Was that really necessary? Absofuckinglutely not.
For a story dealing with two strong topics, they felt either like too much and not enough. Theo’s grief felt like his own personality trait. I couldn’t begin to understand who he was besides a griever. Although knowing he had a solid job but was in the process of firing his current employees that would require him to hire interns, there weren’t that many memorable traits about Theo himself. Every page felt dreadful, as if I had to be reminded that Ben did something specific that would send Theo down memory lane as he recalls memories of him.
Adding on to that, going back to how the romance wasn’t a big focus on the sorry kind of bothered me. Yes, love isn’t everything Theo needed, and it isn’t what everyone or anyone needs to “move forward.” But that is essentially what I came here for. I came thinking I would get an emotional story of two people bringing each other back to the world in their own way, slowly building up a life together, as they begin to mutually feel attracted. Instead, what I first got was an unrequited side of love between a man named Peter who made it clear he had a crush on Theo, and an online friendship between Theo and a stranger named Morgan, who he forms a connection with through an online forum. There’s Peter first, who I essentially felt bad for, but am also glad he gets his own story and HEA in the sequel. While there was some potential for the two, it was bound to never happen due to Theo not being mentally ready. That is all fair and his reasonings made sense. While his body craved that desire, his mind was still stuck on Ben, and I appreciated how Theo made it clear he wasn’t going to be leading Peter on. But then you have Morgan, who is just an online friend that Theo chats with. While their friendship develops for a couple months through online messaging, the two still don’t know what they look like. Yet, we’re supposed to accept and believe that Theo comes to form an attraction for Morgan, even though he has never not only seen him face-to-face, but essentially doesn’t even know what he looks like. There’s no talk on physical features that give an idea who he is.
But this doesn’t matter because Theo is developing feelings for this so-called Morgan. Their friendship is definitely realistic and believable, even when they say they miss each other. I understand and know what it’s like to form a strong relationship with online friends. However, if you expect me to believe there are some sort of crushing, feelings, and attraction involved when the two have never seen each other, no matter how much they now know about each other, and no matter how personal that can be, I’ll be confused. Where did these sudden feelings come from? Why did these feelings form? What exactly is it about person A that person B likes and vice versa? How are you falling for someone you’ve never even seen, let alone met? Long distance relationships are a thing. It’s been shown and proven how possible it is to fall in love with someone you met online. I have a couple friends like that myself. One of my closest friends met her now-fiancé on Tinder and the first night they met, they hit it off. However, I find it completely different when you actually see the person and talk to them face-to-face. There a possibility that you can become attracted even through a screen. But when it’s a case of Theo and Morgan, I can’t. Perhaps it’s really just me, and maybe I was supposed to just accept it and move on, but I don’t understand how the progress was even made in the first place. How did it go from point A to point B?
There wasn’t anything Theo couldn’t talk to him about. The more he thought about it, the more Theo guessed — knew — that it was just a matter of time. They would meet, and the amazing chemistry they had would translate into real life.
(What chemistry are we talking about? Just because you’ve been talking for a couple months and have flirted here and there does not mean there is chemistry.)
Theo started every day with Morgan’s sleepy greeting in his in-box, and ended it — after an evening full of argument and laughter — with his hand down his sleep pants. He couldn’t shop without thinking of the man, or work out, or concentrate on the news. His head was full of Morgan, and he only wanted more. He wanted to talk to him face-to-face.
(I’m trying to understand how he ended every day with his hand down his sleep pants—who does he imagine? Is there a face he makes up as he touched himself? Is it all completely imaginary? He’s never heard Morgan’s voice either, so what exactly would that sleepy greeting be? A fucking message on his inbox?)
“You know I don’t usually put out on the first date, right?”
(That’s what they all say.)
“Morgan.” He wished so hard that he would just say what was on his mind. “Have you hurt someone? Is that what this is about? People do get over heartbreak. You can’t worry forever about breaking up with someone.” Morgan shook his head. “Well, if you haven’t hurt anyone, and you didn’t cheat, then I can’t imagine anything worth worrying this much over. If you really want to feel bad about something, go thump my refrigerator.” He chanced a smile.
Morgan almost smiled back. “I just . . . I can’t . . . .”
“Stop. I don’t care. Whatever it was, I don’t care. It’s in the past. You’re happy here, aren’t you? I mean, with me. You are happy with me?” Morgan’s answer was a kiss — deep and slow and devoid of desperation. They shifted together, pressing close, stroking each other for a while.
(But you asked him… And now you’re telling him you don’t care???)
When the two do eventually meet (which wasn’t planned, actually), the hit it off. Sexually, of course. The way they talked before about their sex lives comes to life for the two, and most of these interactions are spent that way. Since they got to know each other through their messaging, there wasn’t that much else they needed to do. They were already friends, so it was as if they felt they didn’t need to do anything else but see where it went. But I, as the reader, disagree. I felt it necessary for them to talk before and understand where they were coming from in a physical point of view, one that was talked through in person as they finally faced each other. Ignoring the fact that they had just met for the first time, which was unplanned and not how both hoped, their lack of communication weakened the story. At this point, it felt like the romance was trying to make its way forward by taking others. Yet, it felt too late and rushed, as if the author felt like the romance needed to be the central point and not the grief Theo was dealing with before. The change felt sudden and completely underdeveloped. I didn’t like this. Not only because of what he was going through, but because of how much emotion was trying to pack up in a small amount of time. Theo went from someone not being mentally ready but all it took was a faceless man on the internet? Suddenly he was craving it, body and soul. I didn’t buy it. It was as if Theo’s life started revolving around Morgan. I was at the point where I didn’t care about either character, the relationship, or what was happening as the story moved forward.
Like I said, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I missed a detail or two. By this point though I didn’t care about either characters. They probably had one or two sweet moments but I probably missed them because of how much I was skimming to get to the end.
Maybe.
And oh, that ending. I can’t even talk about it. What a horrible, horrendous, confusing, stupid ending.
I really missed the memo with this one.
Overall: boring, overrated, emotionless, and extremely forgettable.
December 5, 2014
**Review posted on myfictionnook.com right here**
Oh my GOD I was so blown away by this book.
I had been avoiding this book for quite some time because it just sounded so freaking sad. It is about a man, Theo, grieving the loss of his long-time partner, Ben. The book is really about Theo's struggles to move on and his journey to find happiness.
I knew that I would have trouble with this book. Sometimes when I read a sad book I feel overwhelmed with the characters and I end up taking on their emotions. This happened with full force with "After Ben". As I'm typing this I feel a whirlwind of emotions. I feel loss, I feel hope, I feel pain. Despite it all, I am overcome with feelings of gratitude to the writer for constructing such an amazing story. What Con Riley created is just so beautiful and so complex. These characters came to life completely. I feel like I know Ben just from Theo's memories. I know Theo and Peter and Morgan.
This book was so mature and such a wonderful example of a character-driven book. Theo was a phenomenal character who will stick with me for a very long time. I truly got inside his head and felt the magnitude of his loss and what he went through to find happiness and love again.
I am too overwhelmed with emotion to write a review that is anything but gushing. This book easily makes my favorites list.
Oh my GOD I was so blown away by this book.
I had been avoiding this book for quite some time because it just sounded so freaking sad. It is about a man, Theo, grieving the loss of his long-time partner, Ben. The book is really about Theo's struggles to move on and his journey to find happiness.
I knew that I would have trouble with this book. Sometimes when I read a sad book I feel overwhelmed with the characters and I end up taking on their emotions. This happened with full force with "After Ben". As I'm typing this I feel a whirlwind of emotions. I feel loss, I feel hope, I feel pain. Despite it all, I am overcome with feelings of gratitude to the writer for constructing such an amazing story. What Con Riley created is just so beautiful and so complex. These characters came to life completely. I feel like I know Ben just from Theo's memories. I know Theo and Peter and Morgan.
This book was so mature and such a wonderful example of a character-driven book. Theo was a phenomenal character who will stick with me for a very long time. I truly got inside his head and felt the magnitude of his loss and what he went through to find happiness and love again.
I am too overwhelmed with emotion to write a review that is anything but gushing. This book easily makes my favorites list.
March 26, 2014
O Hai, Grief.
Imbued with a good-hearted humanity and wisdom that's not easy to find in the genre, this one might kick around in my brain for a while.
(ETA: it has.)
Riley has a fine sense of pacing and her voice is polished and engaging. She's got a good ear for the flow of language, and a keen eye for amusing and illuminating detail.
She's talented, in other words, and it shows.
Some characters do border on the too-perfect end of the spectrum, and there are a couple frustrating loose ends that should have—by the platonic ideals of storytelling, anyway—been exploited for dramatic impact. How these oversights eluded an editor is a mystery.
Referring to Ben too many times probably weakened the overall feel of the book, but as a device for the purposes of explaining or enriching the context of the situation, it works very nicely indeed. When you lose someone, you really do think of them as often as Theo thinks of Ben. You compare everyone to the one you lost, and everything has everything to do with them.
But in fiction, it's sometimes best to be a little bit unfaithful to the literal truth of a thing, to keep the story moving along. Some restraint here and there, with the Ben memories, would have better served the story than the (still, frankly) wonderful and amusing glimpses of the kind of crazy-charming and funny man Ben was.
Yet even with those nerdy-writer nitpicks, this book stands as a lovely and nuanced portrait of grief, of bravery, and of deliverance, inhabited by fun and engaging characters and spiked, later on, with the odd hot sex scene for good measure.
Well worth a look.
Imbued with a good-hearted humanity and wisdom that's not easy to find in the genre, this one might kick around in my brain for a while.
(ETA: it has.)
Riley has a fine sense of pacing and her voice is polished and engaging. She's got a good ear for the flow of language, and a keen eye for amusing and illuminating detail.
She's talented, in other words, and it shows.
Some characters do border on the too-perfect end of the spectrum, and there are a couple frustrating loose ends that should have—by the platonic ideals of storytelling, anyway—been exploited for dramatic impact. How these oversights eluded an editor is a mystery.
Referring to Ben too many times probably weakened the overall feel of the book, but as a device for the purposes of explaining or enriching the context of the situation, it works very nicely indeed. When you lose someone, you really do think of them as often as Theo thinks of Ben. You compare everyone to the one you lost, and everything has everything to do with them.
But in fiction, it's sometimes best to be a little bit unfaithful to the literal truth of a thing, to keep the story moving along. Some restraint here and there, with the Ben memories, would have better served the story than the (still, frankly) wonderful and amusing glimpses of the kind of crazy-charming and funny man Ben was.
Yet even with those nerdy-writer nitpicks, this book stands as a lovely and nuanced portrait of grief, of bravery, and of deliverance, inhabited by fun and engaging characters and spiked, later on, with the odd hot sex scene for good measure.
Well worth a look.
July 27, 2012
REVIEW COMPLETED JULY 27, 2012
Wow! Fantastic! After Ben is an amazing, poignant and bittersweet journey of a grief-stricken man back to life, love, and happiness. Through the clouds of misery the sun will shine on you again. Read this story. It's incredibly worthwhile. Simply beautiful.
5 very shiny stars!
First of all I will admit that I was in tears while writing my review. Moreover, I think that my review can't do this story justice. But I'll be trying it anyway. Here we go...
"Why rebuild when Mother Nature will just send another storm, baby? Maybe getting on with living is better than planning out a perfect life." --Ben
After Ben could have been titled My Life With Ben or In Memory of Ben. The reader will witness a very painful and sensitive, yet very loving and at times even funny process of saying goodbye to a loved one. Through the eyes of Theo we see how important it is to get through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You can't do this within a few weeks. What you need is time. A lot of time, actually. Throughout the whole book there's a strong and utterly intimate presence of Theo's beloved Ben. While this story made me cry a few times, the author conveys such a strong message at the same time: hope that your life will bloom again.
Even though you lost a loved one there will be light at the end of your dark tunnel. You have to have faith. Yeah, this one hit pretty close to home and pushed so many buttons.
Theo's long-time partner, Ben, died from cardiac arrest behind the wheel of his car. Since Ben's death, Theo is spending his free time alone because he can't face seeing other people. He's ignoring all the phone calls, texts and e-mails from their friends. Theo struggles and can hardly cope with his grief. The thought of leaving Ben behind is almost as overwhelming as losing him in the first place. But then we see Theo making his first acquaintance after Ben's death, a man named Peter. They meet at the gym and Peter encourages Theo to make some important steps back to a somewhat normal life. Well, Theo's body seems to be willing enough and he rediscovers his sexuality, however, his mind is so not ready yet.
And then there was Morgan. The man might be an Internet debate-forum nightmare but he was so much more. Morgan is a little bit pushy, snarky, very intelligent and he shows some sharp wit during their online discussions. Over a few months Theo and Morgan are building an endearing friendship. Both of them have to bear their own cross, but they found each other and they held each other up, virtually and in real life. Morgan is challenging Theo on a regular basis and he's teasing him on purpose. And guess what? Morgan knows what's best for Theo. Ultimately, Theo is falling hard for a faceless, filthy-mouthed and opinionated stranger. A stranger with a huge heart though. They really connect from the get-go, however, it is not until about 68 % into the story that they actually meet in person. Please, don't let it put you off though. The story is so engagingly written that you won't mind at all.
THEO: I'm hot. Just thought you should know.
MORGAN: Turning down your thermostat will not only solve your overheating problem, it will also help to save the planet. The world's resources are finite, Theo. Take some fucking responsibility.
THEO: I think you know what I'm talking about.
MORGAN: You talked to your crazy kids? The consensus was that you're hot? They must REALLY need the work.
***********
THEO: Next you'll be telling me that you look like your avatar: a perfect man.
MORGAN: Nope. My penis is much smaller.
THEO: *HUGS*
The book provides a wonderful and well-drawn cast of secondary characters. Theo's assistant, Maggie, is such a good and kind-hearted soul. Furthermore, there are two young interns working at Theo's office, Evan and Joel. Honestly, it was a lucky break to witness their blossoming love--not only for me but also for Theo. These two guys helped him to find his smile again.
I can't go into details here but so many little tidbits made this story so outstanding. All those nice subtleties made After Ben so much more interesting. One advice: read between the lines!
After Ben provides some compellingly good and intense m-m lovin'. However, make no mistake, there is so much more plot than sex to be found. So, if you're a smut lover don't read the book because you will end up disappointed. The sexual tension between Theo and Morgan builds up slowly yet steadily and the anticipation is deliciously good. You have to wait a long time for their first erotic encounter but it's so worth the wait. Their first sex scene is incredibly intense and very erotic and sensual. Loved it! They sure have the hots for one another. YUM!
Theo annoyed me a little bit when he was so clueless about Morgan's issues . He just needed too much time to get the picture. Well, maybe his head was so up his own a*s that he didn't notice Morgan's problems in the first place. Time to wake up, tesoro!
Further, I didn't particularly appreciate the somewhat rushed ending--I wanted an epilogue. And, most of all, I wanted to see them discuss
Overall verdict
After Ben is soul-rocking, evocative, emotional, thoughtful, sad, yet funny and hopeful. Do yourself a favor and read this book. You may end up looking at your life quite differently.
I'm already looking forward to reading Peter's story. He deserves to share his life with a good guy!
As a side note
I highly recommend After Ben to those readers who would like to give the m-m genre a try.
"I need to take Ben home, then I can come home to you. Once it's done, I guess I'll really have moved on." He shrugged, but he felt Morgan's nod. "I need to let him go." --Theo
Wow! Fantastic! After Ben is an amazing, poignant and bittersweet journey of a grief-stricken man back to life, love, and happiness. Through the clouds of misery the sun will shine on you again. Read this story. It's incredibly worthwhile. Simply beautiful.
5 very shiny stars!
First of all I will admit that I was in tears while writing my review. Moreover, I think that my review can't do this story justice. But I'll be trying it anyway. Here we go...
"Why rebuild when Mother Nature will just send another storm, baby? Maybe getting on with living is better than planning out a perfect life." --Ben
After Ben could have been titled My Life With Ben or In Memory of Ben. The reader will witness a very painful and sensitive, yet very loving and at times even funny process of saying goodbye to a loved one. Through the eyes of Theo we see how important it is to get through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You can't do this within a few weeks. What you need is time. A lot of time, actually. Throughout the whole book there's a strong and utterly intimate presence of Theo's beloved Ben. While this story made me cry a few times, the author conveys such a strong message at the same time: hope that your life will bloom again.
Even though you lost a loved one there will be light at the end of your dark tunnel. You have to have faith. Yeah, this one hit pretty close to home and pushed so many buttons.
Theo's long-time partner, Ben, died from cardiac arrest behind the wheel of his car. Since Ben's death, Theo is spending his free time alone because he can't face seeing other people. He's ignoring all the phone calls, texts and e-mails from their friends. Theo struggles and can hardly cope with his grief. The thought of leaving Ben behind is almost as overwhelming as losing him in the first place. But then we see Theo making his first acquaintance after Ben's death, a man named Peter. They meet at the gym and Peter encourages Theo to make some important steps back to a somewhat normal life. Well, Theo's body seems to be willing enough and he rediscovers his sexuality, however, his mind is so not ready yet.
And then there was Morgan. The man might be an Internet debate-forum nightmare but he was so much more. Morgan is a little bit pushy, snarky, very intelligent and he shows some sharp wit during their online discussions. Over a few months Theo and Morgan are building an endearing friendship. Both of them have to bear their own cross, but they found each other and they held each other up, virtually and in real life. Morgan is challenging Theo on a regular basis and he's teasing him on purpose. And guess what? Morgan knows what's best for Theo. Ultimately, Theo is falling hard for a faceless, filthy-mouthed and opinionated stranger. A stranger with a huge heart though. They really connect from the get-go, however, it is not until about 68 % into the story that they actually meet in person. Please, don't let it put you off though. The story is so engagingly written that you won't mind at all.
THEO: I'm hot. Just thought you should know.
MORGAN: Turning down your thermostat will not only solve your overheating problem, it will also help to save the planet. The world's resources are finite, Theo. Take some fucking responsibility.
THEO: I think you know what I'm talking about.
MORGAN: You talked to your crazy kids? The consensus was that you're hot? They must REALLY need the work.
***********
THEO: Next you'll be telling me that you look like your avatar: a perfect man.
MORGAN: Nope. My penis is much smaller.
THEO: *HUGS*
The book provides a wonderful and well-drawn cast of secondary characters. Theo's assistant, Maggie, is such a good and kind-hearted soul. Furthermore, there are two young interns working at Theo's office, Evan and Joel. Honestly, it was a lucky break to witness their blossoming love--not only for me but also for Theo. These two guys helped him to find his smile again.
I can't go into details here but so many little tidbits made this story so outstanding. All those nice subtleties made After Ben so much more interesting. One advice: read between the lines!
After Ben provides some compellingly good and intense m-m lovin'. However, make no mistake, there is so much more plot than sex to be found. So, if you're a smut lover don't read the book because you will end up disappointed. The sexual tension between Theo and Morgan builds up slowly yet steadily and the anticipation is deliciously good. You have to wait a long time for their first erotic encounter but it's so worth the wait. Their first sex scene is incredibly intense and very erotic and sensual. Loved it! They sure have the hots for one another. YUM!
Theo annoyed me a little bit when he was so clueless about Morgan's issues . He just needed too much time to get the picture. Well, maybe his head was so up his own a*s that he didn't notice Morgan's problems in the first place. Time to wake up, tesoro!
Further, I didn't particularly appreciate the somewhat rushed ending--I wanted an epilogue. And, most of all, I wanted to see them discuss
Overall verdict
After Ben is soul-rocking, evocative, emotional, thoughtful, sad, yet funny and hopeful. Do yourself a favor and read this book. You may end up looking at your life quite differently.
I'm already looking forward to reading Peter's story. He deserves to share his life with a good guy!
As a side note
I highly recommend After Ben to those readers who would like to give the m-m genre a try.
"I need to take Ben home, then I can come home to you. Once it's done, I guess I'll really have moved on." He shrugged, but he felt Morgan's nod. "I need to let him go." --Theo
September 6, 2017
After Ben is a story of love, loss, grief, forgiveness, moving on and finding your happiness. It’s an emotional journey and a story I won’t soon forget.
A year ago, Theo lost his partner of 15 years. He lost the love of his life, his Ben. He hasn’t been the same since. He’s distanced himself from his friends and family. He keeps going on. Going to work, going to the gym, keeping his routine, but he’s not really living. Not like he did with Ben.
Theo spends some time in a local online forum. He chats openly with many people on that site, and sometimes it’s the most he interacts with anyone. There he meets a man named Morgan. Even though they only communicate via chatroom/email etc, they become close. Theo finds himself opening up to Morgan more than he has to anyone lately.
Theo and Morgan are strangers, but Theo finds himself growing closer to this man as the months pass. They have such a strong connection, and he’s helping Theo heal, helping him to move on. Chatting online is one thing, but what happens when online crosses over into real life?
I adored this story. It wasn’t always easy to read, some moments broke my heart, but it also left me with a smile on my face so many times. I loved Theo and Morgan, and I also loved all the memories of Ben scattered throughout the story. There were two secondary characters, Evan and Joel, who were fantastic as well.
It was great how everything came together. I listened to the audio version of this book and the narration was great. My only complaint is I felt that the ending was too rushed. I wanted more at the end, maybe an epilogue or even just another chapter of what happened next.
Overall, this was a fantastic read. A truly beautiful journey of one man overcoming grief, gaining his strength back and finding happiness in his life once again. This is one I would highly recommend.
March 28, 2017
Cross-posted at Shelf Inflicted and at Outlaw Reviews
“'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all…”
― Warren Zevon
A clinical study of grief.
A story about a man who lost his partner of 15 years to a massive heart attack should have turned me into a weeping mess. Instead, I found my concentration wavering while reading long passages about Theo’s pain, his online chats with a local stranger, and glimpses of his life with Ben, none of which really engaged my emotions.
I’m wondering if my failure to be moved was caused by the fact that I couldn’t really like, admire, or empathize with Theo enough. I was told many times about his grief, but it made as much impact as if a family member told me about the death of a distant relative I saw maybe five times during my childhood. I wanted to bond with Theo and feel his pain as if it were my own. At times, I found him more immature and unprofessional than the young interns he employed. I felt too much of the story was focused on secondary characters and side plots that never got resolved, as if the author was just preparing to launch a new series rather than seriously exploring the stages of Theo’s bereavement.
While I’m aware that age differences in a relationship can sometimes be a challenge, particularly in later years, I felt that Theo was too hung up on the numbers. Even though Ben was the older one in their relationship, this does not always mean that the older person will die first. Ben was Italian, a spontaneous, live-for-the-moment kind of guy. He eschewed exercise, but enjoyed dancing. He enjoyed his red wine, cigars, and ate whatever he wanted. I couldn’t help but feel that his death was a punishment for the way he lived his life and a subtle warning about the dangers of drinking and smoking. I don’t like to be lectured to.
I’m glad that Theo reconnected with Ben’s family and his friends and found love again. I would have liked more pages devoted to his new relationship rather than just showing the physical aspect of it. The sex scenes were mechanical, repetitive, and far too long. I skimmed through much of these, anxious for more glimpses of Theo and Morgan’s relationship growing and developing.
It’s not a bad story, but I’d much rather revisit Barry Grooms in The Cool Part of His Pillow. His story had the heart this one was lacking.
Thanks to Abby from Bookie Nookie's Erotic Lending Group for lending this to me.
“'Cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all…”
― Warren Zevon
A clinical study of grief.
A story about a man who lost his partner of 15 years to a massive heart attack should have turned me into a weeping mess. Instead, I found my concentration wavering while reading long passages about Theo’s pain, his online chats with a local stranger, and glimpses of his life with Ben, none of which really engaged my emotions.
I’m wondering if my failure to be moved was caused by the fact that I couldn’t really like, admire, or empathize with Theo enough. I was told many times about his grief, but it made as much impact as if a family member told me about the death of a distant relative I saw maybe five times during my childhood. I wanted to bond with Theo and feel his pain as if it were my own. At times, I found him more immature and unprofessional than the young interns he employed. I felt too much of the story was focused on secondary characters and side plots that never got resolved, as if the author was just preparing to launch a new series rather than seriously exploring the stages of Theo’s bereavement.
While I’m aware that age differences in a relationship can sometimes be a challenge, particularly in later years, I felt that Theo was too hung up on the numbers. Even though Ben was the older one in their relationship, this does not always mean that the older person will die first. Ben was Italian, a spontaneous, live-for-the-moment kind of guy. He eschewed exercise, but enjoyed dancing. He enjoyed his red wine, cigars, and ate whatever he wanted. I couldn’t help but feel that his death was a punishment for the way he lived his life and a subtle warning about the dangers of drinking and smoking. I don’t like to be lectured to.
I’m glad that Theo reconnected with Ben’s family and his friends and found love again. I would have liked more pages devoted to his new relationship rather than just showing the physical aspect of it. The sex scenes were mechanical, repetitive, and far too long. I skimmed through much of these, anxious for more glimpses of Theo and Morgan’s relationship growing and developing.
It’s not a bad story, but I’d much rather revisit Barry Grooms in The Cool Part of His Pillow. His story had the heart this one was lacking.
Thanks to Abby from Bookie Nookie's Erotic Lending Group for lending this to me.
July 17, 2012
4.5 stars
Theo's journey is stunningly portrayed throughout, it's emotionally gripping and written perfectly to draw you in and believe me you can't help but get dragged along willingly or not. His life is robotic not really living just existing, barely coping after the death of his partner and love Ben. Stuck in this hellhole trying to climb his way out, its painful and hard to watch at times. Theo's recollections of Ben and the life they had together were deep, touching and exceptionally well written, beautiful memories never to be forgotten.
Joel and Evan the new Interns who arrive to shake up Theo's world and manage to wriggle their way into Theo's heart, amazingly cute and comical especially Joel and his dramas with the photocopier they are a delight and brighten up the office and Theo with their antics. Maggie is a godsend and the best personal assistant Theo could have, dedicated and consistently always there for him, he is lucky to have her. As Theo starts to re-build his life his relationship with his parents especially his mother gets better the bitterness and resentment starts to lessen. Theo is healing with the support of some wonderful friends and family. The Italian relatives Ben's family were another great addition to the story, I hope we get to see more of them in the future.
The other one constant and lifeline for Theo is Morgan an online friend who charms and inspires with his wit and stimulates Theo to engage more with him, I swear he is purposely argumentative just to get a rise out of Theo, Morgan is a smart cookie. The chats, emails and texts, I loved them and had quite a few laughs as Morgan is an adorable rascal. The relationship is a fascinating one unfolding before your eyes bit by bit, dreamy and believable. So when they finally do meet, its perfect they are on fire for each other a sexy, gorgeous heated love fest to swoon over! Morgan is a bit of an enigma and whatever haunts him from the past will be and can be overcome with Theo's love.
This story is not about forgetting Ben who will always be an integral part of Theo's life it's about learning to live again, to experience life to the fullest and enjoy. Theo finally realises he can be happy to love and laugh again without the guilt. Highly recommended a superb romance that touched my heart.
Theo's journey is stunningly portrayed throughout, it's emotionally gripping and written perfectly to draw you in and believe me you can't help but get dragged along willingly or not. His life is robotic not really living just existing, barely coping after the death of his partner and love Ben. Stuck in this hellhole trying to climb his way out, its painful and hard to watch at times. Theo's recollections of Ben and the life they had together were deep, touching and exceptionally well written, beautiful memories never to be forgotten.
Joel and Evan the new Interns who arrive to shake up Theo's world and manage to wriggle their way into Theo's heart, amazingly cute and comical especially Joel and his dramas with the photocopier they are a delight and brighten up the office and Theo with their antics. Maggie is a godsend and the best personal assistant Theo could have, dedicated and consistently always there for him, he is lucky to have her. As Theo starts to re-build his life his relationship with his parents especially his mother gets better the bitterness and resentment starts to lessen. Theo is healing with the support of some wonderful friends and family. The Italian relatives Ben's family were another great addition to the story, I hope we get to see more of them in the future.
The other one constant and lifeline for Theo is Morgan an online friend who charms and inspires with his wit and stimulates Theo to engage more with him, I swear he is purposely argumentative just to get a rise out of Theo, Morgan is a smart cookie. The chats, emails and texts, I loved them and had quite a few laughs as Morgan is an adorable rascal. The relationship is a fascinating one unfolding before your eyes bit by bit, dreamy and believable. So when they finally do meet, its perfect they are on fire for each other a sexy, gorgeous heated love fest to swoon over! Morgan is a bit of an enigma and whatever haunts him from the past will be and can be overcome with Theo's love.
This story is not about forgetting Ben who will always be an integral part of Theo's life it's about learning to live again, to experience life to the fullest and enjoy. Theo finally realises he can be happy to love and laugh again without the guilt. Highly recommended a superb romance that touched my heart.
October 12, 2019
Can I tell you a secret? I was scared of this book. Yep, I had the telltale symptoms of bibliophile cold feet. Trust me, it’s a real thing! I wanted to read it but kept it neatly shelved away on my endless to-be-read list. I finally found my burst of courage and…wow, I’m so grateful for this rerelease which granted me the gentle nudge to ‘just do it already’. I’m a glutton for punishment and love to subject myself to angst aplenty but I knew this was going to be a whole new level.
It’s not just angst, it’s acutely palpable.
It’s not just emotional, it’s a 9.9 on the Ritcher scale of heartquakes.
It’s not just memorable, it has left a scar on my heart.
As I read the final words (which by the way were beyond perfection) I knew, knew that this story would stick with me forever. The people inside the pages feel like family. I feel as if I know them inside and out. I want to hug them and feed them home-cooked meals and assure them they are loved. Because they are. So very much.
What's to like: We slip into Theo’s story after tragedy has struck. Clearly stated, the title allows us insight into what to expect. Somewhat. Theo has lost his partner Ben. I was grateful that the timeline did not give us a direct view of the accident that swept Ben away. The memories were hard enough to bear. Time has passed but Theo is still emotionally bleeding out and barely a shell of the man he once was. Then one day, he meets Peter. I liked Peter. Peter is gentle and patient and exactly what Theo needed. He reminds his body what sensations and passion are like and what he’s capable of physically. Then we meet Morgan. And I was confused. Wait? Is this some kind of weird triangle? Are they both going to fight over his freshly reconstructed heart? I hope not. That’s not what I signed up for! *spoiler* It’s not. There is no love triangle. It’s a revival. Morgan breathes life back into Theo’s soul while Peter proves that it’s not a betrayal to feel again. Peter is a catalyst or a spark plug if you will. He ignites something crucial in Theo, something that has been missing since Ben left. Which of course takes us to…life after Ben.
What's to love: Every time I open one of Riley’s stories I am overwhelmed by the writing. It’s not necessarily that I forget how compelling Con’s words are but can’t help the magnetic draw to be…in the moment. I’m oblivious to the real world around me and skip meals and forgo sleep to keep going. It’s that desperate plea of ‘just one more chapter’ until the birds are singing and I realize it’s a new day and I’ve finished the book. This story, in particular, was captivating to the point of exhaustion. I was drained. I was heartbroken. And then I was rewarded with a soothing balm that brought happy tears to my eyes. Grief is not definitive and touches each individual differently. Theo simply couldn’t fathom life without Ben. However, seeing as he had no choice he accepted that he couldn’t continue as he was. He knew Ben would not so quietly remind him that life is precious and should be celebrated. And loving again is not just okay but glorious. If I could try and decipher some of Theo’s dreams I would imagine they would say something like…”You were supposed to be with me till my final breath. Then I realized that I was with you until you took yours. I will never stop loving you or missing you. And if I find love again, it will never eclipse my love for you.” Yeah. Something like that. If you notice, I haven’t talked about Morgan. Nope. And I really don’t want to. I can tell you he’s clever, witty and strong. Oh, so strong.
Okay, I’m going to stop here…the tears are back and I’m going to bow out before it gets ugly….again.
Wait! I almost forgot to tell you how extraordinary the rest of the cast is. Loved them. Loved them hard. Especially Maggie.
Ohhh! And one more thing…that cover!! Outstanding!
Beware of: Bone deep sorrow from losing a soul mate. When Theo lost Ben, he lost himself as well. And the world had the audacity to go on. In doing so, fate offers him another chance at happiness. Imperfections. If you are looking for a perfect story, this isn’t it. Theo isn’t perfect, he makes mistakes. Furthermore, Morgan’s past isn’t completely clear, that’s okay. What we need to know Riley tells us. And if you have questions about Peter (as I did!) you could always peek at the blurb for the next book. Whoop! Bring, It. On.
This book is for: If you were dodging this story like I was I can only tell you that…it will hurt, but I promise you, it’ll be okay. Some of the best books I’ve ever read were also the most painful. This is the ultimate hurt-comfort and love-lost-love-again story. If you take this chance *passes tissues* I can guarantee you won’t forget them.
*4.5 heartbreaking-heartmending stars*
Book UNfunk
It’s not just angst, it’s acutely palpable.
It’s not just emotional, it’s a 9.9 on the Ritcher scale of heartquakes.
It’s not just memorable, it has left a scar on my heart.
As I read the final words (which by the way were beyond perfection) I knew, knew that this story would stick with me forever. The people inside the pages feel like family. I feel as if I know them inside and out. I want to hug them and feed them home-cooked meals and assure them they are loved. Because they are. So very much.
What's to like: We slip into Theo’s story after tragedy has struck. Clearly stated, the title allows us insight into what to expect. Somewhat. Theo has lost his partner Ben. I was grateful that the timeline did not give us a direct view of the accident that swept Ben away. The memories were hard enough to bear. Time has passed but Theo is still emotionally bleeding out and barely a shell of the man he once was. Then one day, he meets Peter. I liked Peter. Peter is gentle and patient and exactly what Theo needed. He reminds his body what sensations and passion are like and what he’s capable of physically. Then we meet Morgan. And I was confused. Wait? Is this some kind of weird triangle? Are they both going to fight over his freshly reconstructed heart? I hope not. That’s not what I signed up for! *spoiler* It’s not. There is no love triangle. It’s a revival. Morgan breathes life back into Theo’s soul while Peter proves that it’s not a betrayal to feel again. Peter is a catalyst or a spark plug if you will. He ignites something crucial in Theo, something that has been missing since Ben left. Which of course takes us to…life after Ben.
What's to love: Every time I open one of Riley’s stories I am overwhelmed by the writing. It’s not necessarily that I forget how compelling Con’s words are but can’t help the magnetic draw to be…in the moment. I’m oblivious to the real world around me and skip meals and forgo sleep to keep going. It’s that desperate plea of ‘just one more chapter’ until the birds are singing and I realize it’s a new day and I’ve finished the book. This story, in particular, was captivating to the point of exhaustion. I was drained. I was heartbroken. And then I was rewarded with a soothing balm that brought happy tears to my eyes. Grief is not definitive and touches each individual differently. Theo simply couldn’t fathom life without Ben. However, seeing as he had no choice he accepted that he couldn’t continue as he was. He knew Ben would not so quietly remind him that life is precious and should be celebrated. And loving again is not just okay but glorious. If I could try and decipher some of Theo’s dreams I would imagine they would say something like…”You were supposed to be with me till my final breath. Then I realized that I was with you until you took yours. I will never stop loving you or missing you. And if I find love again, it will never eclipse my love for you.” Yeah. Something like that. If you notice, I haven’t talked about Morgan. Nope. And I really don’t want to. I can tell you he’s clever, witty and strong. Oh, so strong.
Okay, I’m going to stop here…the tears are back and I’m going to bow out before it gets ugly….again.
Wait! I almost forgot to tell you how extraordinary the rest of the cast is. Loved them. Loved them hard. Especially Maggie.
Ohhh! And one more thing…that cover!! Outstanding!
Beware of: Bone deep sorrow from losing a soul mate. When Theo lost Ben, he lost himself as well. And the world had the audacity to go on. In doing so, fate offers him another chance at happiness. Imperfections. If you are looking for a perfect story, this isn’t it. Theo isn’t perfect, he makes mistakes. Furthermore, Morgan’s past isn’t completely clear, that’s okay. What we need to know Riley tells us. And if you have questions about Peter (as I did!) you could always peek at the blurb for the next book. Whoop! Bring, It. On.
This book is for: If you were dodging this story like I was I can only tell you that…it will hurt, but I promise you, it’ll be okay. Some of the best books I’ve ever read were also the most painful. This is the ultimate hurt-comfort and love-lost-love-again story. If you take this chance *passes tissues* I can guarantee you won’t forget them.
*4.5 heartbreaking-heartmending stars*
Book UNfunk
October 2, 2013
MORGAN: I'm high on life
Theo lost his partner Ben a year ago. He's still devastated and there's nothing that can cheer him up. I guess when you've met your soul mate and you've spent 15 years of your life with him, letting go is not easy.
How do you react when all your walls come down? How do you react and keep going when you don't really want to be alive anymore?
Theo's situation is not easy but he HAS TO keep going whether he wants or not. He goes to the gym every morning, then he goes to his office and then he ends up in his bed chatting with a bunch of "cyber friends" about politics and stuff.
He crosses path with a hot guy in his gym but who really makes him curious is Morgan, the guy with a hot temper, the guy who's passionate about everything, the guy who is always teasing him and making him laugh. Just a friend, right?
Morgan wakes up something that was deep asleep on Theo and while he's still struggling with Ben's lost, his parents and work, he looks forward to coming home every day to spend time chatting with him.
What happens in that kind of situations? You eventually want to meet the other person and she what happens, right?
Maybe getting on with living is better than planning out a perfect life
Well, read this book and find out what happens between them. Theo's journey will make you cry and laugh at the same time. That part about his mom talking about the cheese was my breaking point to be honest.
This book taught me communicating is BASIC to be happy. If you have something to say, just say it. And live as long as you can because one day you'll regret it if you don't live every second as if it was the last one. And it's very well written, told in a very touching way.
Maybe once you experienced real loss, the feeling never left you. Maybe it just hid until you were vulnerable
July 19, 2012
Gorgeous, Captivating, Beautiful, Poignant and Downright Lovely
I'm almost not sure how to describe the experience of reading this story. I don't think that anything I write can really do it justice. This book is more than just a M/M romance and it has raised the bar for every book that I will read this year.
This is not just a romance. After Ben is the story of how one man, Theo, finds his way back to the living after his partner of fifteen years dies. We see Theo making his first friend, a man named Peter, since his partner Ben passed away. We see Theo rediscovering his sexuality. The reader is there with Theo as he finds his smile again while watching two young interns in his office, Joel and Evan, fall in love. The scope of Theo's journey is breathtaking and I found myself rooting for him, smiling with him, laughing with him and crying for and with him.
One thing that made this story so powerful was that the deceased partner, Ben, was such a strong presence. I felt Ben and Theo's love. I felt how adrift Theo was without his lover and how he struggled through his days and nights. The grieving process was not ignored in this book and that made it heartbreakingly poignant. I felt this book deep in my heart.
The relationships in After Ben were so realistically portrayed that at the end of the book I felt like I even knew the supporting cast. These characters were important to each other and that made them and their lives matter to me as I read the book. I cared about the interns and their blossoming love. I really like Theo's assistant Maggie and the way she held him up in his darkest moments. I wanted Theo and his parents to patch up their relationship. I was invested in all of the characters' lives.
And then there was Morgan. At Theo's darkest time he stumbles upon a local political debate internet forum. It's there that he meets an argumentative, somewhat pushy, intelligent and sharp witted man named Morgan. Over a number of months Morgan and Theo build a friendship that will lead to so much more. Morgan and Theo's interactions were funny, sweet, sexy and deep at times. They open up to each other and fill a void in each other's lives. I loved Theo and Morgan together. The belonged together and it was so, so clear.
I really can't express how much this book touched me. Was it perfect? No, but it was absolutely human and absolutely beautiful.
I'm almost not sure how to describe the experience of reading this story. I don't think that anything I write can really do it justice. This book is more than just a M/M romance and it has raised the bar for every book that I will read this year.
This is not just a romance. After Ben is the story of how one man, Theo, finds his way back to the living after his partner of fifteen years dies. We see Theo making his first friend, a man named Peter, since his partner Ben passed away. We see Theo rediscovering his sexuality. The reader is there with Theo as he finds his smile again while watching two young interns in his office, Joel and Evan, fall in love. The scope of Theo's journey is breathtaking and I found myself rooting for him, smiling with him, laughing with him and crying for and with him.
One thing that made this story so powerful was that the deceased partner, Ben, was such a strong presence. I felt Ben and Theo's love. I felt how adrift Theo was without his lover and how he struggled through his days and nights. The grieving process was not ignored in this book and that made it heartbreakingly poignant. I felt this book deep in my heart.
The relationships in After Ben were so realistically portrayed that at the end of the book I felt like I even knew the supporting cast. These characters were important to each other and that made them and their lives matter to me as I read the book. I cared about the interns and their blossoming love. I really like Theo's assistant Maggie and the way she held him up in his darkest moments. I wanted Theo and his parents to patch up their relationship. I was invested in all of the characters' lives.
And then there was Morgan. At Theo's darkest time he stumbles upon a local political debate internet forum. It's there that he meets an argumentative, somewhat pushy, intelligent and sharp witted man named Morgan. Over a number of months Morgan and Theo build a friendship that will lead to so much more. Morgan and Theo's interactions were funny, sweet, sexy and deep at times. They open up to each other and fill a void in each other's lives. I loved Theo and Morgan together. The belonged together and it was so, so clear.
I really can't express how much this book touched me. Was it perfect? No, but it was absolutely human and absolutely beautiful.
August 18, 2012
I know I'm in the minority in this, but I have to say that reading this book has been pretty exhausting. It started as a four-star read and then the writing style got distracting then irritating then got me so bone tired that I may have skimmed some of the later pages.
After Ben is Theo's life a year after the death of his lover, Ben. He's trying to get his life back together, slowly putting things back to as normal as possible, and along the way, he meets an interesting guy at an internet forum and falls for him.
This is a pretty good story of how someone deals with losing the most important person in their life and picking up the pieces. The characters are interesting and relatable and the author manages to convey how heart breaking it can be to try to get your life back when the person you've been living it for is dead and gone. The book even started out great with a quick background on Theo and how he still sometimes forgets that he's now single. I read that first sentence, had to find out what came next, and managed to get a quarter through the book.
Then I had to stop and figure out what's been making me twitchy and hesitant to continue. It's the writing style.
Let me explain.
I loathe flashbacks. Loathe. Them. I believe that there is always a way for an author to pull off anything dramatic they'd like to pull off without dragging me from a certain point of the story just so they can push something from the past to my face and then expect me to get back to the present with minute pieces of information that the flashback generously provided and not mind being disturbed at all. I can probably deal with it once in an entire book. When it happens practically every chapter, I get ticks. A little bit because I'm telling myself to calm down, but mostly from stress of worrying when the next flashback is going to jump in front of me and ruin my reading experience some more.
After Ben does not have flashbacks so much as it has these lookbacks. There are no "...seven years earlier" followed by a scene from the past. What we get are random remembrance from the third person POV of the MC, Theo, where he inserts his past memories of Ben as well as info on things that happened two hours earlier.
Yup. We get lookbacks from two fucking hours earlier. I don't mind the lookbacks on Ben. I needed them. They were essential to how I viewed Theo and his relationship. The author could pile a shitload of lookbacks focused on Ben and I'd prolly give this book 4.5 stars. But giving me a look back on what happened just hours ago is pretty irritating. Why couldn't I have been told that when it happened? Was I too busy? Was there a phone call I had to get and there was no time to wait for me? Should I get a nanny cam so I don't miss any more?
And note that this happened throughout the whole book. Almost every chapter started with something that the MC was already in the middle of or was done with then we had to take a look back on what happened to get him there. Sometimes, we even had to take a look back while we were taking a look back. Things would go so off tangent for pages that by the time we could get back to where the chapter started, I'd already forgotten where exactly the story left off.
I loooooonged for one - just one - chapter of things happening chronologically. I was shit out of luck.
Oh, and the sentence "It was true" appeared more times than I think was necessary (my Kindle counted 13) and used in pretty much the same vein as this:
All I could think of when I see "It was true" in the narrative was, "Did someone disagree? Slow your roll, Theo, baby. We believe you." I wouldn't have noticed it had the sentence not appeared about three times in almost as many pages while I was 30% in.
That's not saying that this is a bad book. My beef with it is more of a personal choice and if you don't mind lookbacks, the story will actually pull you in. It had some heartfelt and hilarious moments that even when I wanted to just DNF the damn thing to get away from the writing style, I just had to stay and find out what came next (unnecessary lookbacks and all). Notice that I gave this 3 stars despite my pretty strong feelings about the writing style. This is 'cause even with the lack of some good old fashioned chronological story telling, there were still moments when the story had me crying like a fucking baby.
And oh, Aiden and Marco? With things happening in order this time? Sign me up!
After Ben is Theo's life a year after the death of his lover, Ben. He's trying to get his life back together, slowly putting things back to as normal as possible, and along the way, he meets an interesting guy at an internet forum and falls for him.
This is a pretty good story of how someone deals with losing the most important person in their life and picking up the pieces. The characters are interesting and relatable and the author manages to convey how heart breaking it can be to try to get your life back when the person you've been living it for is dead and gone. The book even started out great with a quick background on Theo and how he still sometimes forgets that he's now single. I read that first sentence, had to find out what came next, and managed to get a quarter through the book.
Then I had to stop and figure out what's been making me twitchy and hesitant to continue. It's the writing style.
Let me explain.
I loathe flashbacks. Loathe. Them. I believe that there is always a way for an author to pull off anything dramatic they'd like to pull off without dragging me from a certain point of the story just so they can push something from the past to my face and then expect me to get back to the present with minute pieces of information that the flashback generously provided and not mind being disturbed at all. I can probably deal with it once in an entire book. When it happens practically every chapter, I get ticks. A little bit because I'm telling myself to calm down, but mostly from stress of worrying when the next flashback is going to jump in front of me and ruin my reading experience some more.
After Ben does not have flashbacks so much as it has these lookbacks. There are no "...seven years earlier" followed by a scene from the past. What we get are random remembrance from the third person POV of the MC, Theo, where he inserts his past memories of Ben as well as info on things that happened two hours earlier.
Yup. We get lookbacks from two fucking hours earlier. I don't mind the lookbacks on Ben. I needed them. They were essential to how I viewed Theo and his relationship. The author could pile a shitload of lookbacks focused on Ben and I'd prolly give this book 4.5 stars. But giving me a look back on what happened just hours ago is pretty irritating. Why couldn't I have been told that when it happened? Was I too busy? Was there a phone call I had to get and there was no time to wait for me? Should I get a nanny cam so I don't miss any more?
And note that this happened throughout the whole book. Almost every chapter started with something that the MC was already in the middle of or was done with then we had to take a look back on what happened to get him there. Sometimes, we even had to take a look back while we were taking a look back. Things would go so off tangent for pages that by the time we could get back to where the chapter started, I'd already forgotten where exactly the story left off.
I loooooonged for one - just one - chapter of things happening chronologically. I was shit out of luck.
Oh, and the sentence "It was true" appeared more times than I think was necessary (my Kindle counted 13) and used in pretty much the same vein as this:
Chris used to tease Theo relentlessly about the way his eyes would lose focus whenever Yves spoke. It was true. There was something about his accent that made Theo melt.
All I could think of when I see "It was true" in the narrative was, "Did someone disagree? Slow your roll, Theo, baby. We believe you." I wouldn't have noticed it had the sentence not appeared about three times in almost as many pages while I was 30% in.
That's not saying that this is a bad book. My beef with it is more of a personal choice and if you don't mind lookbacks, the story will actually pull you in. It had some heartfelt and hilarious moments that even when I wanted to just DNF the damn thing to get away from the writing style, I just had to stay and find out what came next (unnecessary lookbacks and all). Notice that I gave this 3 stars despite my pretty strong feelings about the writing style. This is 'cause even with the lack of some good old fashioned chronological story telling, there were still moments when the story had me crying like a fucking baby.
And oh, Aiden and Marco? With things happening in order this time? Sign me up!
October 21, 2016
This was way better then I expected !! I was a bit apprehensive about this one, because normally I don't enjoy books that have dead spouses in them. Nobody wants to fight a ghost...competing with a dead person is almost impossible.
This book however didn't make me feel like it there was any competition. I actually really liked Ben and I liked reading about his life with Theo.
So....Theo lost his love of 15 years, Ben, about a year ago. He has been living like a zombie, maybe you can't really call it living, more like surviving. I felt his loss...it was very emotional at times.
He doesn't know how to move on without Ben....
Then one day he meets Morgan on a online forum. Morgan is smart and funny and he makes Theo laugh...which he hasn't done all that much in the last year. They start chatting and built a online friendship. Each day they grow closer and closer. Theo shares all his thoughts with Morgan, he has finally found someone to open op to and very slowly he starts to heal.
This is a very slow built romance, these two men don't even meet in person until well after 60%. This however didn't bother me, because it was so nicely written. Their journey towards one another was a very beautiful one.
We also get some really great secondary characters. Like Joe an Evan, Theo's interns at work. They were awesome and made the story even more enjoyable.
I think this story was very nicely done, and I never felt like Morgan was standing in Ben's shadow. Morgan was his own person and a new beginning in Theo's life. There is not a whole lot of steam in this book, which is understandable, since it takes some time for them to meet in person. What was there however was very nice ;)
July 17, 2012
4.75 stars. Theo is only half alive, struggling to make his way back into the world a year after the death of his beloved partner Ben. Slowly and almost reluctantly he is drawn back by the demands of his job, an unwanted attraction to a fellow gym-goer, his parents love, and a strangely addictive online relationship with someone called Morgan. Theo's history with Ben is told in gentle reminiscences that are compelling and poignant, but never overly melodramatic.
The secondary characters are wonderful and complex and Theo has to work out his relationship with them as part of his growth in the story. He has a fragile, slightly bitter relationship with his mother, he has two funny, adorable new interns whose office romance re-opens his eyes to how happy love can make you, he has a steadfast office assistant who has been the one friend he let help him through his grief, and he has Peter whose gentle persistence makes him feel a physical attraction again for the first time (although Peter is not the romantic interest in this story).
But most of all he has Morgan, the friend he made online, who challenges, excites and tantalises him. They connect almost from the beginning of the story but it's not until about 68% that they actually meet in person. But I liked that because Theo was not ready to meet Morgan till then. The anticipation and rising sexual tension is delicious and when they do get together it is explosive. The sex is off-the-wall hot! When I finished the book I went straight back and reread that meeting again. Morgan also has his own story and demons that he is fighting and as Theo's confidence and joie de vivre returns we see him come full circle as he is able to help someone else through their struggles.
I loved this book. There are no clichés and no stereotypes. Probably the only fault I could find was that I needed to see more of Morgan working out his problems at the end but that could be just because I had trouble letting go of the characters. I'm happy to find a great new author and can't wait to read more books in the series. I see Peter's story is being published in the future and I want more about Joel and Evan and also Ben's Italian brother and Aiden too! I think this book did the impossible. It made the internet seem like the perfect place to fall in love.
The secondary characters are wonderful and complex and Theo has to work out his relationship with them as part of his growth in the story. He has a fragile, slightly bitter relationship with his mother, he has two funny, adorable new interns whose office romance re-opens his eyes to how happy love can make you, he has a steadfast office assistant who has been the one friend he let help him through his grief, and he has Peter whose gentle persistence makes him feel a physical attraction again for the first time (although Peter is not the romantic interest in this story).
But most of all he has Morgan, the friend he made online, who challenges, excites and tantalises him. They connect almost from the beginning of the story but it's not until about 68% that they actually meet in person. But I liked that because Theo was not ready to meet Morgan till then. The anticipation and rising sexual tension is delicious and when they do get together it is explosive. The sex is off-the-wall hot! When I finished the book I went straight back and reread that meeting again. Morgan also has his own story and demons that he is fighting and as Theo's confidence and joie de vivre returns we see him come full circle as he is able to help someone else through their struggles.
I loved this book. There are no clichés and no stereotypes. Probably the only fault I could find was that I needed to see more of Morgan working out his problems at the end but that could be just because I had trouble letting go of the characters. I'm happy to find a great new author and can't wait to read more books in the series. I see Peter's story is being published in the future and I want more about Joel and Evan and also Ben's Italian brother and Aiden too! I think this book did the impossible. It made the internet seem like the perfect place to fall in love.
November 21, 2021
What a beautiful story. It’s Theo’s story, above anything else. A story about learning to live and love after losing your partner.
We meet Theo a year after Ben’s death. A year of pain. A year Theo barely remembers. He eats, he sleeps, he runs, he works. And he does it all again the next day.
But slowly, the veil of pain he lives in is lifting. He notices a good looking man at the gym. He smiles and talks. He makes a new friend online. He reaches out to his old friends. Slowly, one day after the other, Theo starts living again.
There is a beautiful romance, but it isn’t the main point of the story. It’s about grief and life after loss, and it’s so full of light and hope. I loved everything about this book.
We meet Theo a year after Ben’s death. A year of pain. A year Theo barely remembers. He eats, he sleeps, he runs, he works. And he does it all again the next day.
But slowly, the veil of pain he lives in is lifting. He notices a good looking man at the gym. He smiles and talks. He makes a new friend online. He reaches out to his old friends. Slowly, one day after the other, Theo starts living again.
There is a beautiful romance, but it isn’t the main point of the story. It’s about grief and life after loss, and it’s so full of light and hope. I loved everything about this book.
April 9, 2016
I'm so glad to have been wrecked by this train...
Mmmm, okay. I must admit this book was nothing I expected. After some time reading the same genre it's only logical I recognize the same pattern again and again. There is a guy, there is another guy. They fall in love. The end. That mathematical scheme is nonexistent here. I had serious troubles figuring out who was who. Of course I knew who the MC is, we have his POV the whole time. But who was the another one? Oh, you can laugh all you want but I was just aware of where it was heading on page 175. But instead of talking about my dubious mental agility, let's say why I was convinced there were 4 possible options for Theo.
By the back cover, I knew about a guy who is quite attractive but not enough for Theo because he can't stop thinking about a man he meets in a forum, so it's only fair the gym guy is dismissed and, honestly, the Internet person sounds quite cool.
But... I knew that somehow they had to meet in person before they "knew" each other in the strict sense. I expected something like The Truth About Riley and somehow it's exactly like that. So I was convinced Joel or Evan would have to play the role. The problem was... neither of them fitted. They were too young, too blind for everybody but each other, too out of place to be Theo's life partner. No, there had to be someone else. And then one of Morgan's comments and the reappearance of an anonymous character made it for me. I felt quite stupid but relieved, at last I had an explanation and the puzzle made sense again!
I could understand Theo's attraction to Morgan, a guy he has never seen. Despite only hearing his "voice" in an indirect fashion, we could perceive him as someone charmingly bellicose, wickedly witty, selflessly attentive and amusingly condescending, so it was no wonder Theo was dazzled every time he read one of his messages. And the love that was created from that was pure and true, as appearances never got in the between. In one moment Theo thinks people show their true self while writing in the Internet, and although I know some lies could be let out, taken as a whole that is entirely correct. As the person who is talking is leaking his thoughts and feelings into words as a way to make up for the times he can't be honest in real life, it's only fair the receiver gets to know that someone in a better way that some "flesh and bone" people do. And sometimes that's the real danger in the static (and dynamic) way that exists while surfing.
The structure of the novel is shocking, too. You'd think you'd find a love story of healing and comfort. Theo is sad and depressed, but with small changes big repercussions follow and what once was discouraging and dispiriting, turns into a new and shining add to his gray life. Changes in his workplace, changes in the forum, changes in his family, changes in this feelings... Every person that crosses his path contributes to heal him in a way or another, and as faces display, a few of them moves him inside and transforms him into someone else, stronger and happier, which pushes him to take the reins of his existence in the direction he craves. Again. It makes me think how can everybody influence a person, even without that someone being aware of it. Every little action could be decisive, and that's scary but flattering, too. Seeing a sparkling soul breaking free from his dull shell must be inspiring.
But this story is not a story about a pair, but also about people who surround that pair. We are not islands, even though sometimes we would want that to be so. Morgan has his own issues, and Joel and Evan have their own. Peter is not that far behind. Everybody has their own injures, and sometimes they are evident, but sometimes they are not. Coping with is hard and it's not always a success. You have to learn when to give up and when to fight, and it's a pity but a lot of of times we confuse both concepts.
So, to sum it up I only can say this one is outstanding and poignant, but in a different way I'm used to, which I believe is more of a compliment than the opposite.
Mmmm, okay. I must admit this book was nothing I expected. After some time reading the same genre it's only logical I recognize the same pattern again and again. There is a guy, there is another guy. They fall in love. The end. That mathematical scheme is nonexistent here. I had serious troubles figuring out who was who. Of course I knew who the MC is, we have his POV the whole time. But who was the another one? Oh, you can laugh all you want but I was just aware of where it was heading on page 175. But instead of talking about my dubious mental agility, let's say why I was convinced there were 4 possible options for Theo.
By the back cover, I knew about a guy who is quite attractive but not enough for Theo because he can't stop thinking about a man he meets in a forum, so it's only fair the gym guy is dismissed and, honestly, the Internet person sounds quite cool.
But... I knew that somehow they had to meet in person before they "knew" each other in the strict sense. I expected something like The Truth About Riley and somehow it's exactly like that. So I was convinced Joel or Evan would have to play the role. The problem was... neither of them fitted. They were too young, too blind for everybody but each other, too out of place to be Theo's life partner. No, there had to be someone else. And then one of Morgan's comments and the reappearance of an anonymous character made it for me. I felt quite stupid but relieved, at last I had an explanation and the puzzle made sense again!
I could understand Theo's attraction to Morgan, a guy he has never seen. Despite only hearing his "voice" in an indirect fashion, we could perceive him as someone charmingly bellicose, wickedly witty, selflessly attentive and amusingly condescending, so it was no wonder Theo was dazzled every time he read one of his messages. And the love that was created from that was pure and true, as appearances never got in the between. In one moment Theo thinks people show their true self while writing in the Internet, and although I know some lies could be let out, taken as a whole that is entirely correct. As the person who is talking is leaking his thoughts and feelings into words as a way to make up for the times he can't be honest in real life, it's only fair the receiver gets to know that someone in a better way that some "flesh and bone" people do. And sometimes that's the real danger in the static (and dynamic) way that exists while surfing.
The structure of the novel is shocking, too. You'd think you'd find a love story of healing and comfort. Theo is sad and depressed, but with small changes big repercussions follow and what once was discouraging and dispiriting, turns into a new and shining add to his gray life. Changes in his workplace, changes in the forum, changes in his family, changes in this feelings... Every person that crosses his path contributes to heal him in a way or another, and as faces display, a few of them moves him inside and transforms him into someone else, stronger and happier, which pushes him to take the reins of his existence in the direction he craves. Again. It makes me think how can everybody influence a person, even without that someone being aware of it. Every little action could be decisive, and that's scary but flattering, too. Seeing a sparkling soul breaking free from his dull shell must be inspiring.
But this story is not a story about a pair, but also about people who surround that pair. We are not islands, even though sometimes we would want that to be so. Morgan has his own issues, and Joel and Evan have their own. Peter is not that far behind. Everybody has their own injures, and sometimes they are evident, but sometimes they are not. Coping with is hard and it's not always a success. You have to learn when to give up and when to fight, and it's a pity but a lot of of times we confuse both concepts.
So, to sum it up I only can say this one is outstanding and poignant, but in a different way I'm used to, which I believe is more of a compliment than the opposite.
October 7, 2019
Edit...October 2019. Beautifully written, I only wish it hadn't taken me this long to read it again. Deserves to sell just as well with its new Silver Fox cover [💜💚🧡].
What a fabulous tale, the characters are so well thought out that you wished you knew them personally. I love Joel and Evan, Maggie the PA and her family are extremely supportive, friends are lovely, and even though I didn't like Theo's mum's attitude at first, she came through as well. As for Adam, well, what can you say? I did kind of guess that he was the 'Morgan'of Theo's internet chats (why else mention a background character at the shelter?), but he certainly seems to tick all of Theo's boxes doesn't he! Great, great story and I hope book 2 in the series is just as good.
What a fabulous tale, the characters are so well thought out that you wished you knew them personally. I love Joel and Evan, Maggie the PA and her family are extremely supportive, friends are lovely, and even though I didn't like Theo's mum's attitude at first, she came through as well. As for Adam, well, what can you say? I did kind of guess that he was the 'Morgan'of Theo's internet chats (why else mention a background character at the shelter?), but he certainly seems to tick all of Theo's boxes doesn't he! Great, great story and I hope book 2 in the series is just as good.
July 20, 2012
Trying to find the words to say, but I think MandyM and Vio had done such a fantastic job with their reviews, you might just go there and read theirs :).
As for my own, this is what I could say ...
"Welcome back to the world, Theo."
First of all, for me personally, this is NOT a romance. I mean, yes, there is a romance, around the last 1/3 of the book, when Theo finally realizes what Morgan means for him, and they finally meet face to face and act on their online attraction into a physical one (and boy, it is HOT).
However, most of the story is about a journey. Theo's journey to come back to "being normal" after losing his partner of 15 years, Ben, from heart attack. We don't get the one-year grief story. We get the beginning of a life after. The grief part, the part where Theo is said to push people away, is done off screen.
What is so wonderful about this story is how REAL Theo's life is. We have him working -- including the part where he needs to fire people, which reminds me of George Clooney's movie. We have him in personal life, missing Ben so much it hurts.
AND ... we have a bunch of characters in his life that help Theo shape his life "After Ben". We see him interact with his ever-efficient assistant, Maggie, who makes sure that Theo functions well at the office. We have Theo visiting his parents and learn that before this, Theo's mother is not totally accepting Ben (since Ben was 9 years older than Theo). We have Theo start a friendship with a fellow gym member, Peter -- whose persistence in the beginning might give readers the 'wrong' idea that Peter will be the romantic interest (but he's not!). We have Theo reconnecting with his old friends. We have Theo finding new excitement watching young-love blooming in his office, between two interns Evan and Joel.
... and then, there's Morgan.
Morgan, the newbie in a forum that Theo has been part of, who is feisty and so alive, and intellectually challenges Theo and drags him to the world of living. Morgan, whose own demons become part of his character, and in that sense helps Theo to see the life with Ben in such different perspective and as a result makes Theo a better man, and able to open himself in a way that he hasn't before when he was with Ben. Morgan, who might be younger than Theo but never childlike, and his secrecy about his dark past makes Theo realizes that he can do better by becoming what Morgan needs this time (just like Ben did to Theo).
The journey to Morgan is not fast ... in fact, Theo will not meet Morgan face-to-face until around 68% of the book, so you have to be patient. There is part where Morgan is 'silent' from Theo's online life and Theo almost destroying his chance with Morgan. There are clues, really, to who Morgan actually are, even if he stays an enigma until the end. But that's his charm, I think. Which gives Theo a chance to keep learning about Morgan, even after the book says "The End". They might move fast after that meeting, but you will never think of it as insta-love. Their contact on the online life makes it believable.
It's a GREAT book from a new author ... and I definitely in for more of her Seattle Stories.
As for my own, this is what I could say ...
"Welcome back to the world, Theo."
First of all, for me personally, this is NOT a romance. I mean, yes, there is a romance, around the last 1/3 of the book, when Theo finally realizes what Morgan means for him, and they finally meet face to face and act on their online attraction into a physical one (and boy, it is HOT).
However, most of the story is about a journey. Theo's journey to come back to "being normal" after losing his partner of 15 years, Ben, from heart attack. We don't get the one-year grief story. We get the beginning of a life after. The grief part, the part where Theo is said to push people away, is done off screen.
What is so wonderful about this story is how REAL Theo's life is. We have him working -- including the part where he needs to fire people, which reminds me of George Clooney's movie. We have him in personal life, missing Ben so much it hurts.
AND ... we have a bunch of characters in his life that help Theo shape his life "After Ben". We see him interact with his ever-efficient assistant, Maggie, who makes sure that Theo functions well at the office. We have Theo visiting his parents and learn that before this, Theo's mother is not totally accepting Ben (since Ben was 9 years older than Theo). We have Theo start a friendship with a fellow gym member, Peter -- whose persistence in the beginning might give readers the 'wrong' idea that Peter will be the romantic interest (but he's not!). We have Theo reconnecting with his old friends. We have Theo finding new excitement watching young-love blooming in his office, between two interns Evan and Joel.
... and then, there's Morgan.
Morgan, the newbie in a forum that Theo has been part of, who is feisty and so alive, and intellectually challenges Theo and drags him to the world of living. Morgan, whose own demons become part of his character, and in that sense helps Theo to see the life with Ben in such different perspective and as a result makes Theo a better man, and able to open himself in a way that he hasn't before when he was with Ben. Morgan, who might be younger than Theo but never childlike, and his secrecy about his dark past makes Theo realizes that he can do better by becoming what Morgan needs this time (just like Ben did to Theo).
The journey to Morgan is not fast ... in fact, Theo will not meet Morgan face-to-face until around 68% of the book, so you have to be patient. There is part where Morgan is 'silent' from Theo's online life and Theo almost destroying his chance with Morgan. There are clues, really, to who Morgan actually are, even if he stays an enigma until the end. But that's his charm, I think. Which gives Theo a chance to keep learning about Morgan, even after the book says "The End". They might move fast after that meeting, but you will never think of it as insta-love. Their contact on the online life makes it believable.
It's a GREAT book from a new author ... and I definitely in for more of her Seattle Stories.
May 11, 2023
4.5 stars, for a gut-wrenching, microscopic look at the reality of grieving a lost loved one.
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭
This one is A LOT. Really. Written is third person, single POV from the perspective of Theo, there is not a single chapter in this book where there isn’t a moment that gut-punches you. A description of the daily reminders of losing someone that stop you in your tracks. I often found my throat tightening & tears welling up as Theo described mundane daily events that were suddenly derailed by something that reminded him of the loss of his partner Ben. For anyone who has grieved, this will be so very relatable. For that reason, it’s stellar writing, but also for that reason it’s up there with one of the most emotional books I’ve read.
Theo has been sleepwalking through his life since the loss of Ben a year ago, but two men come into his life that begin to wake him up again - Peter, a paramedic he meets at his gym; and Morgan, a guy he chats to in an online political forum. While Theo likes them & sees potential, he’s constantly vacillating through different stages of grief and is unsure if he’s even ready to move on with someone new. As we find out more about the two guys, and see Theo build solid connections with both, we’re teased through the chapters, eagerly waiting to see who he will pick as their complicated back stories become apparent. I picked who the mysterious Morgan was early on, but I have to say, I felt like the ending came abruptly, & that’s partly because I misread the intent of one of the MCs and was waiting for drama that wasn’t going to happen! (Usually I can pick a plot line a mile off but for some reason I misread this!) Aaaaaaanyway.
Sometimes we need a book to tug at our heart, and this is definitely one. Just so you know, there IS a happy ending for Theo, and it’s wonderful to see his character arc through the grief and to fulfilment & love again. And in case you’re wondering, there’s no cheating or threesomes.
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name!
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭
This one is A LOT. Really. Written is third person, single POV from the perspective of Theo, there is not a single chapter in this book where there isn’t a moment that gut-punches you. A description of the daily reminders of losing someone that stop you in your tracks. I often found my throat tightening & tears welling up as Theo described mundane daily events that were suddenly derailed by something that reminded him of the loss of his partner Ben. For anyone who has grieved, this will be so very relatable. For that reason, it’s stellar writing, but also for that reason it’s up there with one of the most emotional books I’ve read.
Theo has been sleepwalking through his life since the loss of Ben a year ago, but two men come into his life that begin to wake him up again - Peter, a paramedic he meets at his gym; and Morgan, a guy he chats to in an online political forum. While Theo likes them & sees potential, he’s constantly vacillating through different stages of grief and is unsure if he’s even ready to move on with someone new. As we find out more about the two guys, and see Theo build solid connections with both, we’re teased through the chapters, eagerly waiting to see who he will pick as their complicated back stories become apparent. I picked who the mysterious Morgan was early on, but I have to say, I felt like the ending came abruptly, & that’s partly because I misread the intent of one of the MCs and was waiting for drama that wasn’t going to happen! (Usually I can pick a plot line a mile off but for some reason I misread this!) Aaaaaaanyway.
Sometimes we need a book to tug at our heart, and this is definitely one. Just so you know, there IS a happy ending for Theo, and it’s wonderful to see his character arc through the grief and to fulfilment & love again. And in case you’re wondering, there’s no cheating or threesomes.
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name!
May 25, 2013
This book got to me, it reached into my heart and just stayed there. I have lost friends and family to illness, but never someone I was in love with.
This was about Theo, and his life after losing his partner, the love of his life to a cardiac arrest. He has cut off his friends and family, the pain too much to deal with and share with others. During this story you get to see glimpses of Theo's life with Ben. You see moments of laughter, teasing, intimates of tenderness, and of course the pain of Theo's loss.
Theo does interact with people, mainly is assistant at work who has being his steady friend as well and gotten him through his grieving. Also Theo enjoys going to chat rooms for intellectual stimulation and meets Morgan. They strike up an online friendship and Theo grows to depend on it. This ends up being his way back to living, the light in an otherwise dark life.
I really enjoyed Morgan, he was intelligent, funny, a smartass at times and I enjoyed witnessing his friendship with Theo grow over the months they talked online on the forums. But still of course there is that feeling of uncertainty, is it a real friendship?
This was not what I expected at all, I expected Theo and Morgan to meet right away and get to the business of getting to know each other fast! Instead, what I witnessed was the journey of a man going through the stages of loss, and his steps back into warmth and life. I came to care about Theo and he felt like a friend I wanted to wrap my arms around and hug. I also enjoyed the secondary characters as well, Maggie (his assistant) and his interns.
I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone. It was refreshing to read story that didn't end up in sex by page 20 (not that there isn't anything wrong with that of course...hehe). And while the sex was steamy and hot when it finally happened, part of me was glad I had to wait so long, it felt appropriate and of course it was awesome!!!
Thanks to Baba for the recommendation, you were right on the money my friend for choosing this as my introduction into the genre. Loved it!
This was about Theo, and his life after losing his partner, the love of his life to a cardiac arrest. He has cut off his friends and family, the pain too much to deal with and share with others. During this story you get to see glimpses of Theo's life with Ben. You see moments of laughter, teasing, intimates of tenderness, and of course the pain of Theo's loss.
Theo does interact with people, mainly is assistant at work who has being his steady friend as well and gotten him through his grieving. Also Theo enjoys going to chat rooms for intellectual stimulation and meets Morgan. They strike up an online friendship and Theo grows to depend on it. This ends up being his way back to living, the light in an otherwise dark life.
I really enjoyed Morgan, he was intelligent, funny, a smartass at times and I enjoyed witnessing his friendship with Theo grow over the months they talked online on the forums. But still of course there is that feeling of uncertainty, is it a real friendship?
This was not what I expected at all, I expected Theo and Morgan to meet right away and get to the business of getting to know each other fast! Instead, what I witnessed was the journey of a man going through the stages of loss, and his steps back into warmth and life. I came to care about Theo and he felt like a friend I wanted to wrap my arms around and hug. I also enjoyed the secondary characters as well, Maggie (his assistant) and his interns.
I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone. It was refreshing to read story that didn't end up in sex by page 20 (not that there isn't anything wrong with that of course...hehe). And while the sex was steamy and hot when it finally happened, part of me was glad I had to wait so long, it felt appropriate and of course it was awesome!!!
Thanks to Baba for the recommendation, you were right on the money my friend for choosing this as my introduction into the genre. Loved it!
August 5, 2012
4.5 stars. This book follows Theo, as he gradually comes back to the world out of a fog of loss following the death of his partner Ben. The story vividly portrays the ups and downs of his emotions, as he begins forging new relationships both physically with Peter, an attractive guy from the gym and intellectually with Morgan, an online "friend" whose mind stimulates and engages his own. Adding to the emotion is his desire to reconnect with his aging parents, whose disapproval of Ben had estranged them from him. He also comes to realize how much he has pushed his friends and Ben's family away, in the depths of his grief. His awakening to a world where he is not so isolated is part of the pleasure of the book.
The young office interns are great secondary characters, playing their own roles with a youthful enthusiasm that sparks Theo's interest in something more than just his own situation. The way memories of Ben still flavor so many of Theo's interactions is realistic. I liked the fact that Theo's climb back to life was a matter of accepting his loss and Ben's new place as a bittersweet, beloved memory, not some attempt to purge Ben from his life. There are some poignant moments, and some funny ones.
Theo is a great character, with a palpable depth of emotion. The devastating effects of loss, including the lingering fear and pessimism that flavors other relationships, are very well portrayed. I applaud the author for not wallowing in Morgan's history in detail, but rather letting him move on too as an equal (even as I wish we did know a bit more about Morgan in general.) And the ending is sweet.
The young office interns are great secondary characters, playing their own roles with a youthful enthusiasm that sparks Theo's interest in something more than just his own situation. The way memories of Ben still flavor so many of Theo's interactions is realistic. I liked the fact that Theo's climb back to life was a matter of accepting his loss and Ben's new place as a bittersweet, beloved memory, not some attempt to purge Ben from his life. There are some poignant moments, and some funny ones.
Theo is a great character, with a palpable depth of emotion. The devastating effects of loss, including the lingering fear and pessimism that flavors other relationships, are very well portrayed. I applaud the author for not wallowing in Morgan's history in detail, but rather letting him move on too as an equal (even as I wish we did know a bit more about Morgan in general.) And the ending is sweet.
November 15, 2022
I had forgotten just how beautifully Con Riley lays down the various threads of her stories as she weaves a gorgeous picture of new beginnings, first loves and family forgiveness in this truly wonderful book.
Even though this was her first release, there's no stumbling narrative, everything is cleverly crafted to give the reader one man's journey from the depths of sorrow and despair into a brighter future.
The Ben of the title is as much a character as both Theo and Morgan are but his presence never detracts from the new romance.
Instead, he acts as the anchor which Theo can eventually release to let himself move on with Morgan.
There's also a glorious mini office romance between two of Theo's interns which gives some light relief along the way.
If you missed this book when it was first published, don't miss out on this re-release. It remains one of my favourite books dealing with moving on after the death of a long term partner.
The rest of the series is also pretty awesome and they're all being re-released soon too.
#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
Even though this was her first release, there's no stumbling narrative, everything is cleverly crafted to give the reader one man's journey from the depths of sorrow and despair into a brighter future.
The Ben of the title is as much a character as both Theo and Morgan are but his presence never detracts from the new romance.
Instead, he acts as the anchor which Theo can eventually release to let himself move on with Morgan.
There's also a glorious mini office romance between two of Theo's interns which gives some light relief along the way.
If you missed this book when it was first published, don't miss out on this re-release. It remains one of my favourite books dealing with moving on after the death of a long term partner.
The rest of the series is also pretty awesome and they're all being re-released soon too.
#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
September 12, 2012
Wow. This one was beautiful. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this story. The hardest part of reading After Ben was that I LOVED BEN. We got enough memories of him that he was such a joy of a well rounded character who was fun and bright and gorgeous and full of love, possibly one of my favorite ghosts I've read in an M/M where the spouse has died. In the moment that you realize that, like Theo, you are trying to kiss a ghost you find your eyes watering up, which makes Theo's grief so much more palpable.
Then comes Morgan. He's sweet and SO full of heart and OMG is he a brat. I love it. I also sympathized with his character, having gone through it myself, and felt that Ms Riley did a fabulous job conveying his emotional state and that lack of confidence.
I will say that I totally figured out from first mention of the man who Morgan would turn out to be, as well as what had happened to him. Theo was still wrapped up in his own world of grief, though, and had been for so long that it's not surprising he missed things that we feel are so "Duh!". I truly enjoyed the employ of the internet relationship in this book. In this day and age you cant find many people who haven't had some online dating experience and most of us have some forum we partake in with strangers whether they be political, about books (hello GoodReads), celeb gossip, etc. most everyone has some place they sound off with strangers online and some of those friendships may come to mean a great deal to you. It's the new age of human interaction and Riley did a great job of using it in this setting. All in all this was a very nice read about "two damaged individuals who, instead of drowning in their pain together, held each other up despite it."
Then comes Morgan. He's sweet and SO full of heart and OMG is he a brat. I love it. I also sympathized with his character, having gone through it myself, and felt that Ms Riley did a fabulous job conveying his emotional state and that lack of confidence.
I will say that I totally figured out from first mention of the man who Morgan would turn out to be, as well as what had happened to him. Theo was still wrapped up in his own world of grief, though, and had been for so long that it's not surprising he missed things that we feel are so "Duh!". I truly enjoyed the employ of the internet relationship in this book. In this day and age you cant find many people who haven't had some online dating experience and most of us have some forum we partake in with strangers whether they be political, about books (hello GoodReads), celeb gossip, etc. most everyone has some place they sound off with strangers online and some of those friendships may come to mean a great deal to you. It's the new age of human interaction and Riley did a great job of using it in this setting. All in all this was a very nice read about "two damaged individuals who, instead of drowning in their pain together, held each other up despite it."
December 4, 2013
2.75ish. Another case of a beautiful story buried in 'too much'. Too many flashbacks, too much repetition, pages and pages and pages of internet conversations. The numerous flashback/lookbacks were a major problem. They were on practically every page!! Just Ben overload. I really do appreciate how much Theo loved and missed him, but the time jumping was confusing and the lookbacks (not full flashbacks) were poorly placed. Any sympathy or love I felt for Theo/Ben was lost halfway through the book. I just skimmed mentions of him after that.
What really kept my interest were the secondary characters. Without them, I would have abandoned ship about halfway. Joel and Evan were a joy, as were Maggie (Theo's assistant) and her family and Theo's parents. Peter was also a great character right down to the very last, and I was very disappointed that we were introduced to him and that I really, really liked him and then he was discarded as a love interest. Honestly, I didn't care about Morgan until about 70% in, but after that I could see the appeal.
Bottom line, this was a good read with many beautiful moments, but I had to read around, skim and outright skip entirely too much excess to get to them.
I'm looking forward to Peter's story and, if there's a Marco/Aiden story I'll be all over it. Just no flashbacks, please!
What really kept my interest were the secondary characters. Without them, I would have abandoned ship about halfway. Joel and Evan were a joy, as were Maggie (Theo's assistant) and her family and Theo's parents. Peter was also a great character right down to the very last, and I was very disappointed that we were introduced to him and that I really, really liked him and then he was discarded as a love interest. Honestly, I didn't care about Morgan until about 70% in, but after that I could see the appeal.
Bottom line, this was a good read with many beautiful moments, but I had to read around, skim and outright skip entirely too much excess to get to them.
I'm looking forward to Peter's story and, if there's a Marco/Aiden story I'll be all over it. Just no flashbacks, please!
June 18, 2014
Woof. That was a big emotional investment.
I took a few days off between reading and writing my review in hopes that it would be more than just blubbering. Honestly, it's still going to be a wandering exhale of feelings. This is an in-depth, front row seat for the stages of grief. We are in the last stage and revisit all of them via flashbacks as Theo negotiates his way through the acceptance process.
It's rough. If you've been through this, it's like picking a scab and watching it bleed again realizing that you have to start all over.
Favorite quote because it reminds you:
I took a few days off between reading and writing my review in hopes that it would be more than just blubbering. Honestly, it's still going to be a wandering exhale of feelings. This is an in-depth, front row seat for the stages of grief. We are in the last stage and revisit all of them via flashbacks as Theo negotiates his way through the acceptance process.
It's rough. If you've been through this, it's like picking a scab and watching it bleed again realizing that you have to start all over.
“It is better to keep the pain fresh, tesoro. Better a little constant ache than that whole raw agony again, no?”In the end, you do feel optimistic. You're still beat to hell, but leaves you in a good place if a little tattered.
Favorite quote because it reminds you:
“Teaching children that other people can love and care for them is important, Theo. Imagine a life where you loved only one person.”
July 19, 2012
I feel like I've been put through the wringer. What an exhausting fantastic read. Grief and hope all smashed into something that at times was so difficult to read but so worth it. At it's core it's all about how is it so incredibly difficult to lose someone and then try to move on and find love again or be open to having love find you. Heart breaking but so recommended. 4.5/5
September 11, 2016
Somewhere between 1* and 1.5* rounded down.
This apparently is another one which separates me from the majority of my friend-list. I bought this for the may-december relationship (something I normally love reading) and for the allegedly so brilliant prose several other readers referred to.
Alas, I didn't see either, really. Not within the half I read before I gave up. I was bored to tears, I'm sorry to say. There was so much bloat of Theo's to-and-fro-ing, getting online, yakking around, being down, being reminded of Ben, yada-yada. Poor woobie. In the end my reaction was similar to that I had when reading Play It Again, Charlie, I felt like a machine slowly grinding to a bored stop, unable to quit yawning. The prose was fine on SPaG, but nothing to write home about with an over-abundance of gerunds and participles (some dangling, some not), lots of telling instead of showing. When I had to re-read the same paragraphs a few times, because I was unable to concentrate on the narrative I decided to call it quits.
I'm sure this is a good book for readers to whom this appeals on some specific emotional level, but it's not for me. I will try this author again, but most likely angle for a different theme.
This apparently is another one which separates me from the majority of my friend-list. I bought this for the may-december relationship (something I normally love reading) and for the allegedly so brilliant prose several other readers referred to.
Alas, I didn't see either, really. Not within the half I read before I gave up. I was bored to tears, I'm sorry to say. There was so much bloat of Theo's to-and-fro-ing, getting online, yakking around, being down, being reminded of Ben, yada-yada. Poor woobie. In the end my reaction was similar to that I had when reading Play It Again, Charlie, I felt like a machine slowly grinding to a bored stop, unable to quit yawning. The prose was fine on SPaG, but nothing to write home about with an over-abundance of gerunds and participles (some dangling, some not), lots of telling instead of showing. When I had to re-read the same paragraphs a few times, because I was unable to concentrate on the narrative I decided to call it quits.
I'm sure this is a good book for readers to whom this appeals on some specific emotional level, but it's not for me. I will try this author again, but most likely angle for a different theme.
Read
April 26, 2016DNF 25%, no lo voy a valorar porque sería injusta. El libro no está mal escrito, pero supongo que el tema no me ha gustado lo suficiente, muy dramático lo relacionado con Ben y aburrido lo relacionado con su trabajo. Con todo lo que tengo que me gustaría leer, cuando un libro supone obligarme a leerlo es que no es para mi. Lo dejo y quizás en un futuro vuelva a el.
October 23, 2015
5 Live Each Day to the Fullest Stars
I loved this book and it easily makes it onto my favorites shelf. It's an amazing journey of surviving a great loss and learning to live and love again.
I loved this book and it easily makes it onto my favorites shelf. It's an amazing journey of surviving a great loss and learning to live and love again.
May 5, 2021
well, i’m pretty sure i cried at least once every single fucking chapter.
August 18, 2013
The emotions that have surged through me during this novel! The giggle-snorts and the sad tears. I have journeyed with Theo after Ben, and I have seen what Theo saw, I have felt what Theo felt.
I have had all the emotions:
The aching after losing a loved one. (“For years he had bruised his nose, pressing it against the buzzer until Ben opened the door for him.”)
The excitement of tumbling around on the net, finding friends who are easier to deal with than your real life ones. (“Theo sat in his bed, pink cheeked, wide awake, and smiling.”)
The giggles as Theo tries to get his bearings again. Like when he watches the two interns meet on his street between interviews—the two who later fall in love with each other at his office. (“This was the most entertainment he’d had in… forever.”) Or: (“When the tall man looked up at Theo and winked, Theo walked right into a rack of shirts.”)
And then the love. The surging, all-encompassing feeling that just needs an outlet. The feeling that makes you race around the globe, running like the wind, to look deeply into a lover’s eyes and tell him that you are in love with him. *happy sigh*
I adore Morgan. Absolutely adore him. God, I love an intelligent man. A well-versed, confrontational, intellectual man. (“Pissed and amused was pure Morgan.”)
I love how Morgan connects with Theo on the net, how they play and live and have fun, without knowing who they are in real life. How those moments, at the end of the day, (and later also in the beginning of each day), become moments to live for, moments that make you NOT give up. Sheer brilliance. Made me cry huge, salty, happy and sad tears. Anyone who has suffered loss, and later, the revival of spirit, can relate to the words in this novel.
The parts of Italian family-life that emerge in a short section of this novel is so spot-on that I found myself giggling almost hysterically. Yes, I live in Italy. No, I am not Italian, so I look at this funny society a little bit from the outside. I love it, and Con Riley has captured the animus of a Milanese family so well it truly cracks me up. Oh, yes, Ben came from this crazy, incredible and loving place, for sure. His little brother Marco killed me with his happy-go-lucky (!) attitude and huge insight. Brilliant character, and lovingly described. As I sit here and write these words, I find I am wearing a wolfish grin from one ear to the other. Marco does that to me. (Con Riley, if it would please you, next time you are in Milan, the caffé in the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele is on me. I can also show you where to dig your heels in, for luck. On a bull’s balls, no less. No kidding.)
I am happy to know that there are more books coming in this series, as I feel lonely without Theo. So much so that I have started over from the beginning.
I would recommend this first novel in The Seattle Stories, to all who love to read about Love, in itself, for itself, wherever it came from and whomever may be involved; a must read for lovers of Love is Love as a concept. This is a finely tuned story about losing your life partner and about what comes next, when you try to live again, by yourself. It is heart-breaking and beautiful, and happy and funny. Con Riley has a witty language-streak and possesses true mastery of the English language, with very few typos/errors, for those who care about that sort of thing. (I know I do—yes, I’m slightly (ha!) OCD when it comes to these matters). I shall be following this author closely.
Here there be monster-emotions.
***
I was NOT asked to read this book by anyone. I did, however, receive it as a present, so for once I did not pay with my own money, as I usually do for all the books I read, all the music I listen to and the movies I watch. However, I would have bought this ebook if it hadn’t been given to me, and I am right now considering getting a printed copy, to put in my bookshelf. Yes, it is that good.
ETA: 18 August 2013—Just read this again, and the emotions are even greater.
This review can also be found on: My Fiction Nook
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