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Find Layla
A neglected girl’s chaotic coming-of-age becomes a trending new hashtag in a novel about growing up and getting away by an award-winning author.
Underprivileged and keenly self-aware, SoCal fourteen-year-old Layla Bailey isn’t used to being noticed. Except by mean girls who tweet about her ragged appearance. All she wants to do is indulge in her love of science, protect her vulnerable younger brother, and steer clear of her unstable mother.
Then a school competition calls for a biome. Layla chooses her own home, a hostile ecosystem of indoor fungi and secret shame. With a borrowed video camera, she captures it all. The mushrooms growing in her brother’s dresser. The black mold blooming up the apartment walls. The unmentionable things living in the dead fridge. All the inevitable exotic toxins that are Layla’s life. Then the video goes viral.
When Child Protective Services comes to call, Layla loses her family and her home. Defiant, she must face her bullies and friends alike, on her own. Unafraid at last of being seen, Layla accepts the mortifying reality of visibility. Now she has to figure out how to stay whole and stand behind the truth she has shown the world.
Underprivileged and keenly self-aware, SoCal fourteen-year-old Layla Bailey isn’t used to being noticed. Except by mean girls who tweet about her ragged appearance. All she wants to do is indulge in her love of science, protect her vulnerable younger brother, and steer clear of her unstable mother.
Then a school competition calls for a biome. Layla chooses her own home, a hostile ecosystem of indoor fungi and secret shame. With a borrowed video camera, she captures it all. The mushrooms growing in her brother’s dresser. The black mold blooming up the apartment walls. The unmentionable things living in the dead fridge. All the inevitable exotic toxins that are Layla’s life. Then the video goes viral.
When Child Protective Services comes to call, Layla loses her family and her home. Defiant, she must face her bullies and friends alike, on her own. Unafraid at last of being seen, Layla accepts the mortifying reality of visibility. Now she has to figure out how to stay whole and stand behind the truth she has shown the world.
185 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2020
About the author
Meg Elison
42 books1,082 followersMeg Elison is a science fiction author and feminist essayist. Her series, The Road to Nowhere, won the 2014 Philip K. Dick award. She was a James A. Tiptree Award Honoree in 2018. In 2020, she is publishing her first collection, called “Big Girl” with PM Press and her first young adult novel, “Find Layla” with Skyscape. Meg has been published in McSweeney’s, Fantasy & Science Fiction, Fangoria, Uncanny, Lightspeed, Nightmare, and many other places. Elison is a high school dropout and a graduate of UC Berkeley. Find her online, where she writes like she’s running out of time.
megelison.com
@megelison
megelison.com
@megelison
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 903 reviews
December 9, 2023
It's sad, heartbreaking but really beautiful.
I love you, dear author.
The book is so real.
Trigger warnings: Bullying, drug addiction, violence, abuse
YouTube.
Twitter.
Viral on the net
Neglected kids.
Coming of age.
Abusive parents.
Foster parents.
I cannot stop crying.
Layla, you need better people in your life as you grow up. And I know you are going to be with better people now.
You are such a smart kid. You will grow up beautiful and strong, much stronger than you were. And yassss, if your YouTube channel is real I will subscribe to it and watch every video you upload. I love how you think and how super nerdy you are 💯
My heart broke again and again at how innocent Andy is. He is so cute. Baby, I want to hold you, read you bedtime stories and give you candies everyday. No one is going to deny you food, clothes and bath again. My precious baby. I hope your new family loves you so much like no one has loved you before. You deserve all that.
Keep up with that vampire smile 💞
Such a beautiful story.
I see hope in the world again.
All Homo sapiens are not that bad.
I love you, dear author.
The book is so real.
Trigger warnings: Bullying, drug addiction, violence, abuse
YouTube.
Twitter.
Viral on the net
Neglected kids.
Coming of age.
Abusive parents.
Foster parents.
I cannot stop crying.
Layla, you need better people in your life as you grow up. And I know you are going to be with better people now.
You are such a smart kid. You will grow up beautiful and strong, much stronger than you were. And yassss, if your YouTube channel is real I will subscribe to it and watch every video you upload. I love how you think and how super nerdy you are 💯
My heart broke again and again at how innocent Andy is. He is so cute. Baby, I want to hold you, read you bedtime stories and give you candies everyday. No one is going to deny you food, clothes and bath again. My precious baby. I hope your new family loves you so much like no one has loved you before. You deserve all that.
Keep up with that vampire smile 💞
Such a beautiful story.
I see hope in the world again.
All Homo sapiens are not that bad.
September 13, 2020
I read Find Layla in one sitting. It's not an easy read as it deals with topics such as abuse, neglect, and bullying but I just couldn't stop reading and it helps that it is relatively short. It is heart breaking and the ending made me cry. Layla is a strong character but I wish we got a little more. The ending felt a bit rushed and some of the plot didn't make much sense but overall, I really enjoyed this story.
Thanks so much to Netgalley and to the publisher for sending me an electronic copy of this book.
Thanks so much to Netgalley and to the publisher for sending me an electronic copy of this book.
August 3, 2020
Self-medicating with science in the midst of squalor
This is not an easy read. The narrator and lead character, Layla, warns us of this early on:
"Life is hard and complicated and messy. Life is parasites that live in your gut and brilliant scientists teaching a gorilla to use sign language. Life is moths that drink tears, and the flu virus, and nothing you can control. Life is sometimes using a knife to comb your hair, because absolutely nothing else works, and life always finds a way through."
Living with a mother that's in turn abusive and neglectful, and the brother who is her world, Layla experiences things no child or adult should. It's awful, but it's her life so she knows how to survive, trying to learn all she can, focusing on the minutiae and detail of science to ignore the big picture in front of her.
Due to how she's been self-raised and lives, she's an easy target for bullies. You know, just in case her life isn't difficult enough.
Pretty much this whole book needs a trigger warning. It's graphic and raw and real, an episode of Hoarders in quiet honesty, no made for TV drama needed. Yet that brutal rawness makes it compelling in that train wreck sort of way, hoping for better for innocent kids born into filth and neglect.
Perhaps it's drama, or teaching compassion for others, or just something to gawk at with gratitude for my own fortune. The ending seems to pile on even more, the light at the end of the tunnel burned out. Just finishing the last page, and I'm left with swirling emotions, caring too much for people living in my Kindle.
This is not an easy read. The narrator and lead character, Layla, warns us of this early on:
"Life is hard and complicated and messy. Life is parasites that live in your gut and brilliant scientists teaching a gorilla to use sign language. Life is moths that drink tears, and the flu virus, and nothing you can control. Life is sometimes using a knife to comb your hair, because absolutely nothing else works, and life always finds a way through."
Living with a mother that's in turn abusive and neglectful, and the brother who is her world, Layla experiences things no child or adult should. It's awful, but it's her life so she knows how to survive, trying to learn all she can, focusing on the minutiae and detail of science to ignore the big picture in front of her.
Due to how she's been self-raised and lives, she's an easy target for bullies. You know, just in case her life isn't difficult enough.
Pretty much this whole book needs a trigger warning. It's graphic and raw and real, an episode of Hoarders in quiet honesty, no made for TV drama needed. Yet that brutal rawness makes it compelling in that train wreck sort of way, hoping for better for innocent kids born into filth and neglect.
Perhaps it's drama, or teaching compassion for others, or just something to gawk at with gratitude for my own fortune. The ending seems to pile on even more, the light at the end of the tunnel burned out. Just finishing the last page, and I'm left with swirling emotions, caring too much for people living in my Kindle.
June 12, 2021
Well, this was a surprise. Not sure why I picked it up on kindle, but once into the book, it took hold right up to the end.
Apparently this is Ms Elison's first YA book, she usually writes fantasy, and there is certainly a bit of that in this story as it's pretty fantastical. Layla is 14 with a Mum from hell and a little brother who she pretty much raises and looks after in their squalid living situation.
But Layla is a survivor, living under the radar and still maintaining a 4.0 grade average in middle school, despite being bullied and living without electricity or a functional home with regular meals. But as unrealistic as Layla's life and skills are, she is beguiling and you can't help but like her, and I did a lot.
When she posts a blog of her living situation on the internet, her entire life goes viral and things go a bit unrealistic, but it is entertaining nonethess.
I really enjoyed this one and will read more of Ms Elison's books for sure. It can be hard going at the beginning with 'World's Worst Mum', but in the end, well worth the journey.
Apparently this is Ms Elison's first YA book, she usually writes fantasy, and there is certainly a bit of that in this story as it's pretty fantastical. Layla is 14 with a Mum from hell and a little brother who she pretty much raises and looks after in their squalid living situation.
But Layla is a survivor, living under the radar and still maintaining a 4.0 grade average in middle school, despite being bullied and living without electricity or a functional home with regular meals. But as unrealistic as Layla's life and skills are, she is beguiling and you can't help but like her, and I did a lot.
When she posts a blog of her living situation on the internet, her entire life goes viral and things go a bit unrealistic, but it is entertaining nonethess.
I really enjoyed this one and will read more of Ms Elison's books for sure. It can be hard going at the beginning with 'World's Worst Mum', but in the end, well worth the journey.
December 8, 2021
My Latest Book Recommendation: Find Layla
This was not an easy read. It's sad but beautiful, and deals with hard topics like abuse and mental illness. It's wonderfully written and not what I usually gravitate toward, but I gobbled it up. I was a bit conflicted by the ending (I won't say why to avoid spoilers) but I think the way it ends fits the themes of the story. I highly recommend picking this one up.
March 17, 2020
Find Layla is a story that needs to be told and read and reread and shared. It’s a story of neglected children and absent parents and hope. This story belongs in libraries and spoken about in classrooms and discussed at dinner tables. This story deserves to be shared because we all know someone who needs help.
February 2, 2022
5 stars
Oh my heart! I hate to think that there are children living in conditions such as Layla's. Her story is intense and she demonstrates tremendous tenacity and character in unthinkable circumstances. I will continue to think about Layla for a long time....
Oh my heart! I hate to think that there are children living in conditions such as Layla's. Her story is intense and she demonstrates tremendous tenacity and character in unthinkable circumstances. I will continue to think about Layla for a long time....
September 16, 2020
You can find this and other reviews on my blog ♥
This book was… peculiar.
The premise is exactly that: a girl and her little brother who live in a very unstable environment, with an even more unstable mother whose only purpose in the story is to be a terrible person that is clearly in no condition to raise children. I did think that the message of this book was very evident and I was able to sympathize with Layla towards the end. However, I struggled a lot with this book, and therefore it took longer for me to finish it even though it’s actually a really short novel.
The writing was very good: there were some remarkable quotes that I found made Layla’s train of thought more interesting. The pacing, though, was a little off, and I think it had to do with the fact that, even though this book is less than 200 pages long, nothing much happens in the first half. It’s like we get this unnecessary long setting that makes it extra clear that Layla and her little brother live in unacceptable conditions and that they are basically on their own most of the time, Layla having to take care of Andy while also dealing with her own problems at school. Then, suddenly, a lot of things start happening at once, and not in the way that you’d expect.
Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention, but the blurb made me believe that the video situation would be what triggered the conflict, which ended up being the other way around, and that disappointed me a little. Still, the second half of the book was more dynamic and I enjoyed the commentary on adoption and foster families. Layla’s realistic views on what was happening to her were also really sad to read, but I did like the way she was so aware of everything and everyone around her. I also loved how her feelings were represented: after all, even if she was a really intelligent and clever girl, she was still just that: a girl. Completely alone and with no people she could trust. The way the author described those feelings of fear and uncertainty as an octopus was simply great.
One of the things I didn’t like was, sadly, Layla herself. I expected her personality to be cold or indifferent, even pessimistic, given her personal situation, but almost as soon as the book starts, we see that she has a really mean way of looking down at other kids, and particularly girls. I don’t like girl hate and I honestly think it’s the worst kind of trait a character can have, so I found it really hard to care for her after reading her thoughts on her girl classmates, especially since she thought they were stupid for talking about pubic hair and such, when she herself mentions she hadn’t known about the period until recently. I had the impression that she displayed certain qualities that made her sort of a not-like-other-girls type of character, but that really didn’t match her because she definitely wanted to be like those other normal girls.
There were other things she did that just did not sit well with me, and they were not justifiable despite Layla’s circumstances, but the way they were narrated made it look as if they were.
Another thing I thought was a little off was Bette and her obsession with Layla. I get that, as a parent herself, she wanted to look out for her and help her, but sometimes it was as if she really went too far buying her things or offering her to go out, when they were not that close. It just felt too forced and even made me a little uncomfortable, more so because, from Layla’s point of view, we could see that she was not ok with the attention.
Then, there’s also that moment when Layla’s mother burst into the school to yell at her.That was so RANDOM. How did she even get in without anyone questioning her? The teachers had never seen her before so they didn’t know her, there was no way they would just let a strange mad woman enter a school just like that. Weird.
I didn’t like this book as much as I wanted, but I did appreciate that the ending wasn’t anything fairytale-esque. When it came to Layla’s fate, I was pleased with the way things wrapped up, because they were not perfect by any means, but they still left me satisfied. Even if this story did not do much for me, I think the author has a very nice way with words and I’m interested in reading more of their work in the future.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book was… peculiar.
The premise is exactly that: a girl and her little brother who live in a very unstable environment, with an even more unstable mother whose only purpose in the story is to be a terrible person that is clearly in no condition to raise children. I did think that the message of this book was very evident and I was able to sympathize with Layla towards the end. However, I struggled a lot with this book, and therefore it took longer for me to finish it even though it’s actually a really short novel.
The writing was very good: there were some remarkable quotes that I found made Layla’s train of thought more interesting. The pacing, though, was a little off, and I think it had to do with the fact that, even though this book is less than 200 pages long, nothing much happens in the first half. It’s like we get this unnecessary long setting that makes it extra clear that Layla and her little brother live in unacceptable conditions and that they are basically on their own most of the time, Layla having to take care of Andy while also dealing with her own problems at school. Then, suddenly, a lot of things start happening at once, and not in the way that you’d expect.
Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention, but the blurb made me believe that the video situation would be what triggered the conflict, which ended up being the other way around, and that disappointed me a little. Still, the second half of the book was more dynamic and I enjoyed the commentary on adoption and foster families. Layla’s realistic views on what was happening to her were also really sad to read, but I did like the way she was so aware of everything and everyone around her. I also loved how her feelings were represented: after all, even if she was a really intelligent and clever girl, she was still just that: a girl. Completely alone and with no people she could trust. The way the author described those feelings of fear and uncertainty as an octopus was simply great.
One of the things I didn’t like was, sadly, Layla herself. I expected her personality to be cold or indifferent, even pessimistic, given her personal situation, but almost as soon as the book starts, we see that she has a really mean way of looking down at other kids, and particularly girls. I don’t like girl hate and I honestly think it’s the worst kind of trait a character can have, so I found it really hard to care for her after reading her thoughts on her girl classmates, especially since she thought they were stupid for talking about pubic hair and such, when she herself mentions she hadn’t known about the period until recently. I had the impression that she displayed certain qualities that made her sort of a not-like-other-girls type of character, but that really didn’t match her because she definitely wanted to be like those other normal girls.
There were other things she did that just did not sit well with me, and they were not justifiable despite Layla’s circumstances, but the way they were narrated made it look as if they were.
Another thing I thought was a little off was Bette and her obsession with Layla. I get that, as a parent herself, she wanted to look out for her and help her, but sometimes it was as if she really went too far buying her things or offering her to go out, when they were not that close. It just felt too forced and even made me a little uncomfortable, more so because, from Layla’s point of view, we could see that she was not ok with the attention.
Then, there’s also that moment when Layla’s mother burst into the school to yell at her.That was so RANDOM. How did she even get in without anyone questioning her? The teachers had never seen her before so they didn’t know her, there was no way they would just let a strange mad woman enter a school just like that. Weird.
I didn’t like this book as much as I wanted, but I did appreciate that the ending wasn’t anything fairytale-esque. When it came to Layla’s fate, I was pleased with the way things wrapped up, because they were not perfect by any means, but they still left me satisfied. Even if this story did not do much for me, I think the author has a very nice way with words and I’m interested in reading more of their work in the future.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 12, 2020
Truly amazing. It’s 5:25 a.m. and I just finished, and all I can think is it’s been way too long since I cared more about a book than sleep. And this book... wow did it rip my heart out. To Meg Elison, if you read these comments - thank you for telling this story with such grace and compassion. I don’t know if you have first-hand experience with a life like this or if you’re just that amazing of a writer and researcher or all of the above, but whatever the case... you knocked this out of the park.
January 5, 2022
4.5 ⭐️
داستان به قدری ساده بیان شده و ریتم سریعی داره که تو یک نشست میشه خوندش،اما با وجود همین سادگی مسائل عمیقی رو مطرح می کنه که قلبتون رو به درد میاره که چجوری یه دختر نوجوان می تونه همچین شرایطی رو تحمل کنه اونم وقتی تمام مدت بچه هایی رو می بینه که شرایط زندگی مثل غذای کافی ،اتاق گرم ،حمام داغ ،گوشی موبایل و از همه مهم تر محبت پدر و مادرُ دارن و لایلا داستان ما واسه یکی از این ها حاضره همه زندگی شو بده و بد تر از همه این ها این که بچه های مدرسه براش قلدری هم می کنن.نویسنده بیان خیلی خوب و گرمی داره که باعث میشه یک لحظه هم کتاب رو کنار نذارید.داستان یه غم وصف نشدنی توی دلتون میزاره ،شاید خیلی داستان های دردناک تر و غم انگیز تر از لایلا هم باشه اما لایلا به قدری قابل لمس و واقعیه که آخرای کتاب ممکنه اشک هم بریزید.
داستان به قدری ساده بیان شده و ریتم سریعی داره که تو یک نشست میشه خوندش،اما با وجود همین سادگی مسائل عمیقی رو مطرح می کنه که قلبتون رو به درد میاره که چجوری یه دختر نوجوان می تونه همچین شرایطی رو تحمل کنه اونم وقتی تمام مدت بچه هایی رو می بینه که شرایط زندگی مثل غذای کافی ،اتاق گرم ،حمام داغ ،گوشی موبایل و از همه مهم تر محبت پدر و مادرُ دارن و لایلا داستان ما واسه یکی از این ها حاضره همه زندگی شو بده و بد تر از همه این ها این که بچه های مدرسه براش قلدری هم می کنن.نویسنده بیان خیلی خوب و گرمی داره که باعث میشه یک لحظه هم کتاب رو کنار نذارید.داستان یه غم وصف نشدنی توی دلتون میزاره ،شاید خیلی داستان های دردناک تر و غم انگیز تر از لایلا هم باشه اما لایلا به قدری قابل لمس و واقعیه که آخرای کتاب ممکنه اشک هم بریزید.
September 11, 2021
این هادی امینی نازنین...
November 27, 2023
لایلا یک دختر باهوش و عاشق علوم هستش که با مادر معتاد و برادر کوچکترش زندگی میکنه و مجبوره که با وجود سن کمش حواسش به همه چی باشه به مشکلات خرابه ای که محل زندگیشونه و بهش میگه زیست بوم تا مشکلاتی که قلدرهای مدرسه به خاطر وضع ظاهریش و نبود بهداشت فردیش براش درست میکنن. باوجود همه ی اینا لایلا دختر قوی و مستقل باقی میمونه اما یک روز تصمیم میگیره که بره و...
ترجمه ی کتاب واقعا طوری بود که میتونستی با لایلا همدل و همراه بشی و حتی خودت رو جاش بذاری و غصه اشو بخوری
و اینکه میشد ازش یاد بگیری تو سخت ترین شرایط قوی باشی از پا نیوفتی و هدفاتو از یاد نبری.
ترجمه ی کتاب واقعا طوری بود که میتونستی با لایلا همدل و همراه بشی و حتی خودت رو جاش بذاری و غصه اشو بخوری
و اینکه میشد ازش یاد بگیری تو سخت ترین شرایط قوی باشی از پا نیوفتی و هدفاتو از یاد نبری.
October 5, 2020
البته که یک داستان کوتاه بود.
ولی زندگیای رو تعریف میکرد که باورش حتی برای ما در جهان سوم هم مشکل بود، چه برسه برای جایی مثل آمریکا تصورش کنیم.
ولی ملموس بود. میشد باورش کرد. میشد براش دل سوزوند و غصه خورد و ناراحت شد. میشد براش خوشحال شد.
میشد... راحت خوندش.
#یافتن_لایلا واقعاً تأثیر اینترنت روی زندگیها رو نشون میداد. آثار خوبش و آثار بدش. اینکه میتونه هم فرصت باشه و هم تهدید.
هم میشه توی اینستاگرام قلدری کرد و کسی رو اذیت کرد. هم میشه توی توییتر به همه گفت چه خبره یا کی، کجا و چطوری به کمک نیاز داره و هم میشه توی یوتیوب پول درآورد؛ هرچند ناچیز.
میشه ازش کمک گرفت تا از جهنم نجات پ��دا کنی و میشه باهاش زندگی یکی رو جهنم کرد.
ولی زندگیای رو تعریف میکرد که باورش حتی برای ما در جهان سوم هم مشکل بود، چه برسه برای جایی مثل آمریکا تصورش کنیم.
ولی ملموس بود. میشد باورش کرد. میشد براش دل سوزوند و غصه خورد و ناراحت شد. میشد براش خوشحال شد.
میشد... راحت خوندش.
#یافتن_لایلا واقعاً تأثیر اینترنت روی زندگیها رو نشون میداد. آثار خوبش و آثار بدش. اینکه میتونه هم فرصت باشه و هم تهدید.
هم میشه توی اینستاگرام قلدری کرد و کسی رو اذیت کرد. هم میشه توی توییتر به همه گفت چه خبره یا کی، کجا و چطوری به کمک نیاز داره و هم میشه توی یوتیوب پول درآورد؛ هرچند ناچیز.
میشه ازش کمک گرفت تا از جهنم نجات پ��دا کنی و میشه باهاش زندگی یکی رو جهنم کرد.
August 7, 2020
I did a rare thing and changed my rating after sleeping on it. And it was not in the book's favor :(
So here's the good:
-super engaging
-good protagonist
-easy to read - I read it in 1 four hour sitting
Here's the less good:
-Without getting into spoilers, there are giant holes in the plot. While we have the narration of Layla about what is happening, we don't really know how she feels about it. We kind of get glimpses but from the first flashback of trying to care for her own hair to the ending, we don't really know her emotional state.
-While the book is horrifying, some things don't make sense: They live in an upstairs apartment, they have water leaks that evidently don't go into the bottom floor. There is a level of neglect that no adult would ever let slide no matter what a 14 year old says. There is this weird bullying thing that goes on that ends up being resolved in a very unsatisfactory way.
There is more but that would provide spoilers - it is a very uneven book and can't quite decide what it wants to be.
So while I read it quickly because I wanted to find out what happens to Layla and her brother, in the end, it was somewhat unsatisfying. Hence, the downgrade in my rating.
So here's the good:
-super engaging
-good protagonist
-easy to read - I read it in 1 four hour sitting
Here's the less good:
-Without getting into spoilers, there are giant holes in the plot. While we have the narration of Layla about what is happening, we don't really know how she feels about it. We kind of get glimpses but from the first flashback of trying to care for her own hair to the ending, we don't really know her emotional state.
-While the book is horrifying, some things don't make sense: They live in an upstairs apartment, they have water leaks that evidently don't go into the bottom floor. There is a level of neglect that no adult would ever let slide no matter what a 14 year old says. There is this weird bullying thing that goes on that ends up being resolved in a very unsatisfactory way.
There is more but that would provide spoilers - it is a very uneven book and can't quite decide what it wants to be.
So while I read it quickly because I wanted to find out what happens to Layla and her brother, in the end, it was somewhat unsatisfying. Hence, the downgrade in my rating.
August 21, 2020
An emotionally gripping story of a young girl just trying to survive.
The synopsis for this book immediately grabbed my attention. I knew this wouldn't be an easy read. However, I set my hopes high, because if I was going to put myself through this gut-retching experience, I expected the quality of the work to be stellar. As you can see from my review, the author delivered.
The author did a phenomenal job capturing the voice of a young girl, Layla Bailey, who is so broken down, yet at the same time, so strong and brave. From the introduction, when Layla is literally using a knife to detangle the knots in her hair, I connected to her. Not in a relatable way, obviously, but I felt every emotion she felt.
It's not even dark outside yet, but I am done with the day.
I lie there trying to hold it together until the day is done with me.
Layla has two things she cares about, science and her brother, Andy.
Despite her wretched living conditions, and no true parental guidance, it is amazing what a smart, thoughtful girl she grew up to be. And that's why it broke my heart to see how each day was a struggle.
Would they have light?
Would they have food?
Would she have to syphon water out of her bathroom to prevent flooding? Yes, that really happened.
And on top of that, she had to deal with all the school bullies.
But she doesn't let all of that drag her down and destroy her dreams. She never gave up hope and made me love her all the more for it.
What could they possibly do to me? I'm already nothing.
This is a compelling read about the strength of one young girl's character, and how her actions ultimately save her. While the subject matter isn't easy to read, I encourage everyone to read it.
It's real.
It's honest.
It's powerful.
For more reviews, visit
The synopsis for this book immediately grabbed my attention. I knew this wouldn't be an easy read. However, I set my hopes high, because if I was going to put myself through this gut-retching experience, I expected the quality of the work to be stellar. As you can see from my review, the author delivered.
The author did a phenomenal job capturing the voice of a young girl, Layla Bailey, who is so broken down, yet at the same time, so strong and brave. From the introduction, when Layla is literally using a knife to detangle the knots in her hair, I connected to her. Not in a relatable way, obviously, but I felt every emotion she felt.
It's not even dark outside yet, but I am done with the day.
I lie there trying to hold it together until the day is done with me.
Layla has two things she cares about, science and her brother, Andy.
Despite her wretched living conditions, and no true parental guidance, it is amazing what a smart, thoughtful girl she grew up to be. And that's why it broke my heart to see how each day was a struggle.
Would they have light?
Would they have food?
Would she have to syphon water out of her bathroom to prevent flooding? Yes, that really happened.
And on top of that, she had to deal with all the school bullies.
But she doesn't let all of that drag her down and destroy her dreams. She never gave up hope and made me love her all the more for it.
What could they possibly do to me? I'm already nothing.
This is a compelling read about the strength of one young girl's character, and how her actions ultimately save her. While the subject matter isn't easy to read, I encourage everyone to read it.
It's real.
It's honest.
It's powerful.
For more reviews, visit
September 6, 2020
A. poignant, coming of age story of an intelligent and witty, science geek girl called LAYLA.
Layla is our nerdy quintessential 14 year old. I loved her witty remarks throughout the story. She doesn't know how to do makeup so she says, "she's allergic" to it.
Poor Layla, doesn't have a "HOME SWEET HOME" , she is bitten by poverty and lives in the most horrible and squalid conditions ( reading about it made me feel grateful and blessed for what I have), her father isn't in the picture anymore and the mother is a train wreck of a woman herself. She takes care of her younger brother as the mother isn't really there for them most of the days.
At school she has to deal with MEAN GIRLS who bully and pick on her and at home she has to play the role of an adult. Life can be hard for our young adults but playing MOM and figuring out how to get food on a plate and all that stuff can be quite a task.
This book is fast paced, witty and very sad too. It was a decent read but I wished I liked it more than just "okay". It is great for a beach or an inflight read or even to drive you out of your reading slump.
Layla is our nerdy quintessential 14 year old. I loved her witty remarks throughout the story. She doesn't know how to do makeup so she says, "she's allergic" to it.
Poor Layla, doesn't have a "HOME SWEET HOME" , she is bitten by poverty and lives in the most horrible and squalid conditions ( reading about it made me feel grateful and blessed for what I have), her father isn't in the picture anymore and the mother is a train wreck of a woman herself. She takes care of her younger brother as the mother isn't really there for them most of the days.
At school she has to deal with MEAN GIRLS who bully and pick on her and at home she has to play the role of an adult. Life can be hard for our young adults but playing MOM and figuring out how to get food on a plate and all that stuff can be quite a task.
This book is fast paced, witty and very sad too. It was a decent read but I wished I liked it more than just "okay". It is great for a beach or an inflight read or even to drive you out of your reading slump.
March 20, 2021
This hit me too close to home for any review that wouldn't turn into a rambling mess, so I'll just leave it at this: Meg Elison's writing deserves way way more attention than it's getting.
January 14, 2021
Stunning! I was totally unprepared for this book, and it hit me so hard emotionally. Dealing with neglect and child abuse, this was a very difficult yet griping read. Layla is a character I will never forget, and the author has painted her out so realistically. Her love for science, her witty quips, her stunning self awareness, her mental dialogue that seems quite advanced for her age and yet screams with the despair and confusion of a child forced to grow up with a parent who isn't at all one, everything was spot on. The author makes clear the distinction been pity and empathy through Layla's reactions. Even the ending is tragically realistic, and left me with nothing but 'such is life'.
It is impossible not to love this brave girl who has such a strong will to survive, despite all odds. It is impossible not to love her younger brother Andy, who years younger, is so vulnerable, honest and confused, that it rips your heart out. It is impossible not to wonder why some kids have parents like this, and whether they deserve to be parents at all.
This is a book that deserves applause, because it could be a ray of hope for every Layla out there, and also teach the rest of us to recognize the signs of neglect and abuse and do something about it.
It is impossible not to love this brave girl who has such a strong will to survive, despite all odds. It is impossible not to love her younger brother Andy, who years younger, is so vulnerable, honest and confused, that it rips your heart out. It is impossible not to wonder why some kids have parents like this, and whether they deserve to be parents at all.
This is a book that deserves applause, because it could be a ray of hope for every Layla out there, and also teach the rest of us to recognize the signs of neglect and abuse and do something about it.
August 2, 2020
Wow. Just wow.
It was the apparent honesty that killed me. No sugar coating. No Disney. I can't say more because I don't want to spoil this for anyone. But I read this whole book in three hours. I almost literally couldn't put it down. I'm pretty far from a young adult, but I have a memory and so much of this resonated hard. Thanks, Meg Ellison. And thanks, fictional Layla: You need to read "Lab Girl." 😊😉
It was the apparent honesty that killed me. No sugar coating. No Disney. I can't say more because I don't want to spoil this for anyone. But I read this whole book in three hours. I almost literally couldn't put it down. I'm pretty far from a young adult, but I have a memory and so much of this resonated hard. Thanks, Meg Ellison. And thanks, fictional Layla: You need to read "Lab Girl." 😊😉
November 11, 2020
This was a quick read but it carries quite the emotional punch. It was well written and while I think a couple of bits weren’t quite how it would really go down it was realistic enough to keep me in the fictional world. Layla has an important story to tell and I love that there are more and more stories like this coming out of what abuse and neglect and foster care look like from the child’s perspective. In addition other important (and potentially triggering) topics are discussed including bullying, self harm, and mental health issues. And I liked the growth of how social media played into the situation, I felt like it was done in a realistic and new way.
October 27, 2021
I wanted to give 4.5 stars, but this book is worth 5. I have seldom seen inside the life of the protagonist like this. Ms. Elison showed me a life I could never have imagined without this story. Other reviews will provide more context. I simply want to recommend you read about Layla for yourself.
Thanks Meg.
Thanks Meg.
May 10, 2023
خیلی داستان جذابی بود داستان دختر بدسرپرست و مستقل با غافلگیری ها و جذابیت های خاص خودش اونقدر خوب بود که نشد تا پایان داستان دست از خوندنش کشید
July 15, 2022
معمولاً دوست دارم سر وقت راجع به کتابا بنویسم ولی این یکی رو همین الان که تموم کردم اومدم بگم دوسش نداشتم و ایده خاصی نداشت. داستان یه د��تر چهارده ساله به اسم لایلا که با برادر کوچیکتر و مادر بی خیالش زندگی میکنه. درسش خوبه اما به ظاهرش اصلا اهمیت نمیده چون وضعیت مالی و زندگی بدی داره و مادری که اصلا به بچه هاش و وضع زندگی شون اهمیت نمیده. بچه ها هم اصلا اهمیت نمی دن که دارن تو چه وضع اسفباری زندگی میکنن!
لایلا یه ویدیو از وضعیتش توی فضای مجازی به اشتراک میذاره و این ویدیو به شدت بازدید میخوره. حالا یه عده میخوان کمکش کنن و یه عده هم حاشیه بسازن...
بد بودن وضعیت شخصیت اصلی خوب توصیف شده بود اما به نظرم یه سری اتفاقات منطقی نبودن( باوجود اینکه باید منطقی میبودن!)
و کاش به جای ��ولانی کردن بعضی قسمت ها، به دلیل اصلی رفتار مادرش و اصل ماجرا میپرداخت. انتظار داشتم دقیق تر بدونم چی شده!
پایانش هم برای من مشخص بود🚶🏻♀️
لایلا یه ویدیو از وضعیتش توی فضای مجازی به اشتراک میذاره و این ویدیو به شدت بازدید میخوره. حالا یه عده میخوان کمکش کنن و یه عده هم حاشیه بسازن...
بد بودن وضعیت شخصیت اصلی خوب توصیف شده بود اما به نظرم یه سری اتفاقات منطقی نبودن( باوجود اینکه باید منطقی میبودن!)
و کاش به جای ��ولانی کردن بعضی قسمت ها، به دلیل اصلی رفتار مادرش و اصل ماجرا میپرداخت. انتظار داشتم دقیق تر بدونم چی شده!
پایانش هم برای من مشخص بود🚶🏻♀️
December 9, 2021
"Living with her had always been like living with a stranger. It’s always been the same stranger, one who’s lived with me for as long as I can remember. She hardly ever looks directly at me and never says my name."
I read this entire thing in one day, on. my. phone. If that explains anything in regards to how needed a story like this is.
It's not a warm fuzzy feeling. It's a feeling of heavy sadness and open awareness. Of feeling like so many people, young and adults, need to read this. The feeling of how important stories like these are. The word disadvantage was loud here.
I may or may not have cried. (I did, absolutely)
Realizing I have quite a soft spot for the kid tales😭
I read this entire thing in one day, on. my. phone. If that explains anything in regards to how needed a story like this is.
It's not a warm fuzzy feeling. It's a feeling of heavy sadness and open awareness. Of feeling like so many people, young and adults, need to read this. The feeling of how important stories like these are. The word disadvantage was loud here.
I may or may not have cried. (I did, absolutely)
Realizing I have quite a soft spot for the kid tales😭
April 11, 2021
4 1/2 stars?
I stayed up most of the night reading Finding Layla all in one go. It was damned compelling, I'll give it that. Elison is not afraid to walk through a minefield, but I'm not sure if she 100% pulls it off. But even if there are missteps, it's very effective on the whole. She creates a narrator who is a convincing teenager and poetic in her own right.
Elison's Road to Nowhere series is a marvel. I'm still impressed after Finding Layla, and I'll read anything this author puts out.
I stayed up most of the night reading Finding Layla all in one go. It was damned compelling, I'll give it that. Elison is not afraid to walk through a minefield, but I'm not sure if she 100% pulls it off. But even if there are missteps, it's very effective on the whole. She creates a narrator who is a convincing teenager and poetic in her own right.
Elison's Road to Nowhere series is a marvel. I'm still impressed after Finding Layla, and I'll read anything this author puts out.
February 11, 2022
یافتن لایلا کتابی که یک روزه خوندم.
اینقدر کشش داشت که نمیتونستم برای روز بعد و ادامه کتاب قبر کنم.
داستان دختر 15 ساله و برادر کوچکش بدسرپرستی که شرایط زندگی و خونه به شدت نامناسب و رو به خرابی دارن و مادر تنهاش نمیتونه از پس مراقبت و مخارج اونها بربیاد و مسئولیت بچهها رو بر عهده نمیگیره و حتی از دیگران کمک هم نمیگیره.
لایلا به خاطر سر و وضع نامناسب، در مدرسه مورد قلدری قرار میگیره اما سعی میکنه قوی بمونه.
تلخ بود، اما موضوع اجتماعی مهمی داشت.
اینقدر کشش داشت که نمیتونستم برای روز بعد و ادامه کتاب قبر کنم.
داستان دختر 15 ساله و برادر کوچکش بدسرپرستی که شرایط زندگی و خونه به شدت نامناسب و رو به خرابی دارن و مادر تنهاش نمیتونه از پس مراقبت و مخارج اونها بربیاد و مسئولیت بچهها رو بر عهده نمیگیره و حتی از دیگران کمک هم نمیگیره.
لایلا به خاطر سر و وضع نامناسب، در مدرسه مورد قلدری قرار میگیره اما سعی میکنه قوی بمونه.
تلخ بود، اما موضوع اجتماعی مهمی داشت.
March 11, 2021
I'm emotional devastated. Had to turn off the audio and walk around to stop the tears falling and then later on just let them fall. This book is so hard to read. The narration is fantastic in how well she was able to tear my heart into pieces.
August 6, 2020
There were a million ways that Meg Elison's upcoming YA novel "Find Layla" could have gone horribly wrong, yet somehow this never happens in what is, I'll confess with some surprise, a most rewarding and incredibly moving literary experience wrapped around the coming-of-age story of fourteen-year-old Layla.
Layla isn't the kind of young girl who usually gets her own YA novel. Yet, within a few pages of "Find Layla" you'll find yourself drawn to this remarkable young girl who's never really been given the chance to be remarkable growing up with a mostly absent mother in a chaotic, unpredictable environment while trying to provide for some normalcy with her younger brother, Andy.
There are many things that are admirable about "Find Layla." There are many things that are stunning about "Find Layla." Yet, what I am most drawn to with this somewhat short yet substantial story is just how much empathy Elison offers to Layla and how much she manages to ensure the young girl's dignity even in those difficult to read moments that are traumatic, humiliating, and far too often the stuff of very real childhoods.
Fourteen-year-old Layla is a SoCal teen living a life that is hidden but actually isn't. She's incredibly self-aware, yet underprivileged and the subject of nearly constant bullying at the junior high school where it seems like everyone else is privileged. The only real attention she gets is from the school's "mean girls" who tweet about her ragged appearance, greasy hair, dirty clothes and, well, smell.
Somehow, amidst it all, she carries a deep love for science and a 4.0 GPA.
When a school competition calls for a biome, an increasingly vulnerable Layla decides to peel off the layers of masks she's been wearing over every aspect of her life.
Boy, does she get attention.
When Child Protective Services inevitably responds, Layla loses the only world she's known. I mean, sure that world sucked. But, she knew it.
Visible for the first time in her life, Layla has to learn how to face her truths and maintain her wholeness in a world that is suddenly watching her every move.
"Find Layla" could have gone wrong. It probably should have gone wrong. "Find Layla" never goes wrong, because Elison infuses the story with honest characters, a realistic story, just the right amounts of hope, empathy without pity, and a resolute determination that Layla deserves the dignity that life hasn't given her.
This is an immersive, difficult to put down book and yet an emotionally resonant book that will move some to tears and perhaps be a tad too difficult for some others. An Amazon First Reads offering during the month of August, "Find Layla" is due for release by Skyscape on September 1st and it's a definitely winning novel for the award-winning Elison.
At its literary core, "Find Layla" paints a realistic world for Layla that is undeniably tragic in that truth. Yet, Elison is also writing about growing from the lives we're given and breaking free from the cycles that continue to bind us. Refusing to offer Layla anything resembling an articial, paint-by-numbers resolution, Elison instead offers her something even greater - empowerment and a sliver of light with which to grow.
The dialogue in "Find Layla" feels honest and truthful, Layla's occasional advanced language an obvious result of her strong academics and fiercely disciplined studying even against amazing obstacles. There could have been so many cliche's that came out of "Find Layla," but Elison for the most part avoids them in favor of multi-shaded social workers, foster parents, well-meaning do-gooders, and those godawful bullies who sometimes truly never change.
Refreshingly, even the supporting characters are drawn with complexity. Layla's brother Andy is so clearly developed that you can easily visualize him, while her mother waxes such a tragic figure that you practically expect her to spew forth Shakespeare. Layla's friend Kristi feels just like the kind of friend that Layla would have, while other characters like Bette, Dr. Jones, Erica, and others come alive in really special ways.
To offer too much in the way of narrative would spoil the emotional rollercoaster that is "Find Layla," a book that I can't quite call entertaining yet a book that is so substantial that it feels as if it shifted around my reader's DNA. As my first title from Elison, "Find Layla" is a book that will inevitably lead me to explore more of her previous works.
Filled with insightful exploration about poverty, neglect, and the worlds in which many of our children are raised in, "Find Layla" finds strength and resilience in vulnerability and courage and creates one of the year's most memorable YA characters whom you'll find yourself wanting to hug and you'll find yourself wanting to check in with every once in a while.
Primarily known as a science fiction author, Elison has masterfully woven science into life's human tapestry and created an honest and true masterwork of survival of the teenage spirit.
Layla isn't the kind of young girl who usually gets her own YA novel. Yet, within a few pages of "Find Layla" you'll find yourself drawn to this remarkable young girl who's never really been given the chance to be remarkable growing up with a mostly absent mother in a chaotic, unpredictable environment while trying to provide for some normalcy with her younger brother, Andy.
There are many things that are admirable about "Find Layla." There are many things that are stunning about "Find Layla." Yet, what I am most drawn to with this somewhat short yet substantial story is just how much empathy Elison offers to Layla and how much she manages to ensure the young girl's dignity even in those difficult to read moments that are traumatic, humiliating, and far too often the stuff of very real childhoods.
Fourteen-year-old Layla is a SoCal teen living a life that is hidden but actually isn't. She's incredibly self-aware, yet underprivileged and the subject of nearly constant bullying at the junior high school where it seems like everyone else is privileged. The only real attention she gets is from the school's "mean girls" who tweet about her ragged appearance, greasy hair, dirty clothes and, well, smell.
Somehow, amidst it all, she carries a deep love for science and a 4.0 GPA.
When a school competition calls for a biome, an increasingly vulnerable Layla decides to peel off the layers of masks she's been wearing over every aspect of her life.
Boy, does she get attention.
When Child Protective Services inevitably responds, Layla loses the only world she's known. I mean, sure that world sucked. But, she knew it.
Visible for the first time in her life, Layla has to learn how to face her truths and maintain her wholeness in a world that is suddenly watching her every move.
"Find Layla" could have gone wrong. It probably should have gone wrong. "Find Layla" never goes wrong, because Elison infuses the story with honest characters, a realistic story, just the right amounts of hope, empathy without pity, and a resolute determination that Layla deserves the dignity that life hasn't given her.
This is an immersive, difficult to put down book and yet an emotionally resonant book that will move some to tears and perhaps be a tad too difficult for some others. An Amazon First Reads offering during the month of August, "Find Layla" is due for release by Skyscape on September 1st and it's a definitely winning novel for the award-winning Elison.
At its literary core, "Find Layla" paints a realistic world for Layla that is undeniably tragic in that truth. Yet, Elison is also writing about growing from the lives we're given and breaking free from the cycles that continue to bind us. Refusing to offer Layla anything resembling an articial, paint-by-numbers resolution, Elison instead offers her something even greater - empowerment and a sliver of light with which to grow.
The dialogue in "Find Layla" feels honest and truthful, Layla's occasional advanced language an obvious result of her strong academics and fiercely disciplined studying even against amazing obstacles. There could have been so many cliche's that came out of "Find Layla," but Elison for the most part avoids them in favor of multi-shaded social workers, foster parents, well-meaning do-gooders, and those godawful bullies who sometimes truly never change.
Refreshingly, even the supporting characters are drawn with complexity. Layla's brother Andy is so clearly developed that you can easily visualize him, while her mother waxes such a tragic figure that you practically expect her to spew forth Shakespeare. Layla's friend Kristi feels just like the kind of friend that Layla would have, while other characters like Bette, Dr. Jones, Erica, and others come alive in really special ways.
To offer too much in the way of narrative would spoil the emotional rollercoaster that is "Find Layla," a book that I can't quite call entertaining yet a book that is so substantial that it feels as if it shifted around my reader's DNA. As my first title from Elison, "Find Layla" is a book that will inevitably lead me to explore more of her previous works.
Filled with insightful exploration about poverty, neglect, and the worlds in which many of our children are raised in, "Find Layla" finds strength and resilience in vulnerability and courage and creates one of the year's most memorable YA characters whom you'll find yourself wanting to hug and you'll find yourself wanting to check in with every once in a while.
Primarily known as a science fiction author, Elison has masterfully woven science into life's human tapestry and created an honest and true masterwork of survival of the teenage spirit.
October 10, 2020
Meg Elison really shows that she has range with the release of Find Layla. This YA contemporary is hard-hitting and impressive. It is raw and heartbreaking, incredibly impactful, and gripping.
The writing blew me away. It's SO well done. The teenage perspective is very well handled and it truly feels like Layla leading the story rather than an adult writer. I sunk right into the pages and it felt like reading a diary. The detail to the senses is both impressive and assaulting. The detail to the squalor of Layla's living conditions was amazing, but so horribly evocative. I got seriously nauseated just imagining it.
Layla is a very well constructed character. She felt real. She is a strong, yet very sympathetic character. She is incredibly resilient and does not give up, despite the ridiculous obstacles she face.
The depictions of Layla's mother were interesting. The story is told by Layla, so the only views we have of the mother are what Layla sees, understands, and wishes to share. This limited narration is super powerful in its own way, drawing the reader even more completely into Layla's frame of view.
Find Layla is a short, but amazing novel. It is a great read for the upper middle grade and YA reading set, exploring the effects of bullying and the ways that circumstances and challenges are often hidden and/or misunderstood by those outside the situation. The book also is terribly relevant for adults, exploring the failures of CPS systems and the ability to allow all children to have a quality of life and a chance to succeed.
* Disclaimer: I received a copy of this novel from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. *
The writing blew me away. It's SO well done. The teenage perspective is very well handled and it truly feels like Layla leading the story rather than an adult writer. I sunk right into the pages and it felt like reading a diary. The detail to the senses is both impressive and assaulting. The detail to the squalor of Layla's living conditions was amazing, but so horribly evocative. I got seriously nauseated just imagining it.
Layla is a very well constructed character. She felt real. She is a strong, yet very sympathetic character. She is incredibly resilient and does not give up, despite the ridiculous obstacles she face.
The depictions of Layla's mother were interesting. The story is told by Layla, so the only views we have of the mother are what Layla sees, understands, and wishes to share. This limited narration is super powerful in its own way, drawing the reader even more completely into Layla's frame of view.
Find Layla is a short, but amazing novel. It is a great read for the upper middle grade and YA reading set, exploring the effects of bullying and the ways that circumstances and challenges are often hidden and/or misunderstood by those outside the situation. The book also is terribly relevant for adults, exploring the failures of CPS systems and the ability to allow all children to have a quality of life and a chance to succeed.
* Disclaimer: I received a copy of this novel from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. *
July 19, 2022
رئالیسم داستان بلافاصله با خواندن اولین جملهی نویسنده از بین میرود. هیچچیز جذاب و آموزندهای در این کتاب وجود ندارد. یک تیپیکال خزعبل از نوجوان تقلاگر آمریکایی.
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