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Can You See Me / Tally #1
Can You See Me?
A coming-of-age story about learning to celebrate yourself -- and teaching the world to recognize you, too -- perfect for fans of R. J. Palacio's Wonder!
"This glimpse into the world of a young autistic girl is astonishingly insightful and honest. Tally's struggles to 'fit in' are heart-wrenching, and her victories are glorious." -- Ann M. Martin, Newbery Honor and New York Times bestselling author of Rain Reign
Things Tally is dreading about sixth grade:
-- Being in classes without her best friends
-- New (scratchy) uniforms
-- Hiding her autism
Tally isn't ashamed of being autistic -- even if it complicates life sometimes, it's part of who she is. But this is her first year at Kingswood Academy, and her best friend, Layla, is the only one who knows. And while a lot of other people are uncomfortable around Tally, Layla has never been one of them . . . until now.
Something is different about sixth grade, and Tally now feels like she has to act "normal." But as Tally hides her true self, she starts to wonder what "normal" means after all and whether fitting in is really what matters most.
Inspired by young coauthor Libby Scott's own experiences with autism, this is an honest and moving middle-school story of friends, family, and finding one's place.
"This glimpse into the world of a young autistic girl is astonishingly insightful and honest. Tally's struggles to 'fit in' are heart-wrenching, and her victories are glorious." -- Ann M. Martin, Newbery Honor and New York Times bestselling author of Rain Reign
Things Tally is dreading about sixth grade:
-- Being in classes without her best friends
-- New (scratchy) uniforms
-- Hiding her autism
Tally isn't ashamed of being autistic -- even if it complicates life sometimes, it's part of who she is. But this is her first year at Kingswood Academy, and her best friend, Layla, is the only one who knows. And while a lot of other people are uncomfortable around Tally, Layla has never been one of them . . . until now.
Something is different about sixth grade, and Tally now feels like she has to act "normal." But as Tally hides her true self, she starts to wonder what "normal" means after all and whether fitting in is really what matters most.
Inspired by young coauthor Libby Scott's own experiences with autism, this is an honest and moving middle-school story of friends, family, and finding one's place.
365 pages, Paperback
First published May 2, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 542 reviews
July 25, 2022
Can You See Me? is the story of an 11 year old with autism and the challenges she faces starting high school. I picked this up thinking it would be an insightful read as my 11 year old, with autism, starts high school next month. Some of it was very relatable, but at times was difficult to read. It appeared the teachers were initially unaware the main character had a diagnosis (surely not?) and the bully was despicable. Overall, the message of celebrating differences was positive.
April 26, 2021
As an autistic reader who so rarely sees myself well represented in books, I was very interested to check out Can You See Me? when I saw that one of the co-authors is an autistic girl. In the end, I'm feeling mixed about it. First off, the autism rep is fairly good. While I didn't relate to all of Tally's traits--it seemed to me in a few parts that she might fit the criteria for something else as well, perhaps OCD--the portrayal of what it feels like to have a meltdown is one of the most insightful I've seen. However, the book as a whole wasn't the most engaging--the plot is rather slow for much of it, and the Tally's Autism Facts sections, while informative, are also a bit info-dump-y, and I wasn't ever sure if the story was supposed to take place in the US or UK. There was also one line I really didn't like, from a bully's apology note to Tally: "Nobody told me that you're autistic, and I wouldn't have called you Weirdo Adams if I'd known." There are several problematic things here, none of which are challenged. Nobody is obligated to share their diagnosis with anyone if they don't want to. And nobody should have to have one in order to not be bullied. The bully's--Luke's--behavior was genuinely awful, way beyond name-calling. Are the authors saying it would have been acceptable from him if it was directed at a kid who didn't yet have a diagnosis? Or a kid who wasn't autistic, just having a hard time trying to fit in? Yikes.
Anyway, I'm going with three stars here. Decent as an autism portrayal, enough so that I'm planning to read the sequel, but not a first-choice recommendation for a MG book in general.
Anyway, I'm going with three stars here. Decent as an autism portrayal, enough so that I'm planning to read the sequel, but not a first-choice recommendation for a MG book in general.
October 30, 2020
My short take on this book:
This book is a combination of present-tense, third-person prose and short diary entries from the perspective of Tally, the autistic main character. The diary entries mainly focus on charting her anxiety levels and explaining terms and concepts related to autism, often breaking them down into pros and cons.
I didn't care for the narrative writing style, because it was often detached and dry, and when parts of the book went on and on without advancing the plot or characters significantly, I sometimes skimmed ahead to the next engaging action. I love slice-of-life stories, but parts of this were too ordinary and detailed for my tastes, because they didn't tie into the plot or emotional current of the story, or else fulfilled the exact same purpose as a dozen other scenes.
Still, despite its stylistic flaws, this book has an encouraging message and provides what appears to be an extremely realistic representation of autism, even though I cannot speak from personal knowledge of it. This book should be very encouraging and helpful to kids who relate to Tally's situations at home and at school, and it is a great tool to help build understanding and empathy among family members, friends, and classmates of children with autism.
My personal, emotional essay:
I read an ebook copy of this through my library, and I'm glad that I did. During my current phase of quarantine, I have been reliving the highlights from when I was twelve and thirteen, watching some of the movies that I watched back then and rereading related journal entries. It's been fun, because even though that is the last time in my life I would ever want to experience again, I've gotten to enjoy my memories of the good parts while better reconciling myself to the awful aspects.
When I was twelve, I viewed myself with rage and loathing, but looking back, I understand the things that I was going through and love myself in retrospect, not because I have forgotten about how atrociously awful I was at times, but because I see that I had dignity and value anyway. In so many of my thoughts and activities lately, I have been mentally messaging back to my younger self, "I see you. I remember you. You are a good kid, you matter, and you are going to be okay."
Thus, reading a book entitled Can You See Me? about a struggling kid at a similar age was very timely. This story follows the experiences of a fictional eleven-year-old girl named Tally who is on the autism spectrum, and who is struggling to adjust to school. Her experiences are drawn from the life of this book's young coauthor, and these contributions give a very realistic flavor to the story, both in terms of the autism experience and the thoughts and feelings of a child beginning middle school.
I am not autistic, and I had the very great blessing of being homeschooled, which I appreciated even more after reading this book. However, I deeply identify with Tally's high sensitivity to stimulation and agitation over it, her obsessive-compulsive tendencies, some of her tics, and her constant stress over trying to find some way to appear at least semi-normal, or at least normal enough to fly under the radar. This was also my first time reading a novel that reflected some of my behavioral issues from the past. Although Tally's are more extreme than mine were, or at least seem to make less rational sense, her feelings of grinding anxiety, rage, and explosion are painfully familiar to me.
The book's descriptions of her feelings, and her explanations for things that don't make sense to other people, are near-perfect. I can relate so much to feeling that constant sense of rage and explosion, and being so frustrated with people who thought that I was choosing my bad behavior, wanted to be miserable all the time, and enjoyed making life a living hell for me and everyone else in my family. Tally clearly explains to the reader the state that she gets in, showing that she is not acting out for selfish reasons, but is suffering tremendously and cannot contain herself.
I had never, ever read descriptions like this before that I didn't write myself. It meant so much to me to read about this from another person's perspective, and to see Tally's stress about trying to behave and keep self-control, but getting to points where she literally cannot restrain the explosive behavior that takes over. It was so accurate, and even though Tally's triggers were different than mine, I cannot even imagine what an overwhelming comfort it would have been if I could have read something like this when I was twelve.
However, on the negative side, it bothered me that her mother was so dismissive of Tally's explosions, seeing them as something that the family had to endure. Again, I'm not autistic, and I know that my experience is different, but the message of "this is just who Tally is," as accepting as it seems, can be a cop out from finding solutions to someone's misery. In my experience, discovering food and chemical sensitivities and changing my exposures changed my life, and I would hate for parents or children who are dealing with behavior issues like mine to read this and think that it's a static, unchanging issue that can't be mitigated or resolved.
I can relate to Tally's commitment to accepting herself, and to being who she is. She doesn't want to not be autistic, because it's part of what makes her Tally, and I completely connect with that from my own different experiences. However, this attitude can also lead to the risk of accepting acute suffering as part of a packaged deal. I will never be a normal person, and my brain will always be different from the average, but I am no longer afflicted with such horrible behavioral and mental issues that I wish I could die. I did not have to keep suffering in all the same ways in order to remain my neuroatypical self and still be me.
I can only speak from my own experience, and I am not making any commentary about autism itself, but I think there is a risk to reading a book like this and assuming that just because someone presents with a certain emotional, physical, or mental symptom means that it is part of their identity. Tally talks about how offensive it is when people talk about wanting to "cure" autism, and I completely understand why autism itself is part of her identity, but some of her behavioral, psychic, and sensitivity issues could at least hypothetically be eased. Based on my life experience, I have a hard time with the message that someone has to accept everything about their condition as inevitable and unchanging.
So, on the one hand, I wish that I could have read this when I was twelve. It would have been deeply reassuring. Yet, on the other hand, I'm glad that I didn't read it then, if the message to take away from it is that you have to accept everything about yourself, and that your most excruciating suffering is part of your identity and can't change. After all, that was my deepest fear. I was terrified that I would never be able to go back to being the happy, comparatively normal child that I had once been, and feared that I was going to stay trapped in an internal volcanic explosion until I died. I am forever grateful that my parents didn't give up and accept my situation the way it was, and put unimaginable amounts of effort into helping my life change.
I am glad that I read this book. It made me feel seen, and it contributed to my reflections about what life was like for me at twelve years old and how profoundly grateful I am that things are completely different now. Still, I have mixed feelings about aspects of this, since I know from my own experience that I can have a unique and different brain with all of the "pros" that Tally listed in her diary, without all of the "cons" staying at their worst forever.
This book is a combination of present-tense, third-person prose and short diary entries from the perspective of Tally, the autistic main character. The diary entries mainly focus on charting her anxiety levels and explaining terms and concepts related to autism, often breaking them down into pros and cons.
I didn't care for the narrative writing style, because it was often detached and dry, and when parts of the book went on and on without advancing the plot or characters significantly, I sometimes skimmed ahead to the next engaging action. I love slice-of-life stories, but parts of this were too ordinary and detailed for my tastes, because they didn't tie into the plot or emotional current of the story, or else fulfilled the exact same purpose as a dozen other scenes.
Still, despite its stylistic flaws, this book has an encouraging message and provides what appears to be an extremely realistic representation of autism, even though I cannot speak from personal knowledge of it. This book should be very encouraging and helpful to kids who relate to Tally's situations at home and at school, and it is a great tool to help build understanding and empathy among family members, friends, and classmates of children with autism.
My personal, emotional essay:
I read an ebook copy of this through my library, and I'm glad that I did. During my current phase of quarantine, I have been reliving the highlights from when I was twelve and thirteen, watching some of the movies that I watched back then and rereading related journal entries. It's been fun, because even though that is the last time in my life I would ever want to experience again, I've gotten to enjoy my memories of the good parts while better reconciling myself to the awful aspects.
When I was twelve, I viewed myself with rage and loathing, but looking back, I understand the things that I was going through and love myself in retrospect, not because I have forgotten about how atrociously awful I was at times, but because I see that I had dignity and value anyway. In so many of my thoughts and activities lately, I have been mentally messaging back to my younger self, "I see you. I remember you. You are a good kid, you matter, and you are going to be okay."
Thus, reading a book entitled Can You See Me? about a struggling kid at a similar age was very timely. This story follows the experiences of a fictional eleven-year-old girl named Tally who is on the autism spectrum, and who is struggling to adjust to school. Her experiences are drawn from the life of this book's young coauthor, and these contributions give a very realistic flavor to the story, both in terms of the autism experience and the thoughts and feelings of a child beginning middle school.
I am not autistic, and I had the very great blessing of being homeschooled, which I appreciated even more after reading this book. However, I deeply identify with Tally's high sensitivity to stimulation and agitation over it, her obsessive-compulsive tendencies, some of her tics, and her constant stress over trying to find some way to appear at least semi-normal, or at least normal enough to fly under the radar. This was also my first time reading a novel that reflected some of my behavioral issues from the past. Although Tally's are more extreme than mine were, or at least seem to make less rational sense, her feelings of grinding anxiety, rage, and explosion are painfully familiar to me.
The book's descriptions of her feelings, and her explanations for things that don't make sense to other people, are near-perfect. I can relate so much to feeling that constant sense of rage and explosion, and being so frustrated with people who thought that I was choosing my bad behavior, wanted to be miserable all the time, and enjoyed making life a living hell for me and everyone else in my family. Tally clearly explains to the reader the state that she gets in, showing that she is not acting out for selfish reasons, but is suffering tremendously and cannot contain herself.
I had never, ever read descriptions like this before that I didn't write myself. It meant so much to me to read about this from another person's perspective, and to see Tally's stress about trying to behave and keep self-control, but getting to points where she literally cannot restrain the explosive behavior that takes over. It was so accurate, and even though Tally's triggers were different than mine, I cannot even imagine what an overwhelming comfort it would have been if I could have read something like this when I was twelve.
However, on the negative side, it bothered me that her mother was so dismissive of Tally's explosions, seeing them as something that the family had to endure. Again, I'm not autistic, and I know that my experience is different, but the message of "this is just who Tally is," as accepting as it seems, can be a cop out from finding solutions to someone's misery. In my experience, discovering food and chemical sensitivities and changing my exposures changed my life, and I would hate for parents or children who are dealing with behavior issues like mine to read this and think that it's a static, unchanging issue that can't be mitigated or resolved.
I can relate to Tally's commitment to accepting herself, and to being who she is. She doesn't want to not be autistic, because it's part of what makes her Tally, and I completely connect with that from my own different experiences. However, this attitude can also lead to the risk of accepting acute suffering as part of a packaged deal. I will never be a normal person, and my brain will always be different from the average, but I am no longer afflicted with such horrible behavioral and mental issues that I wish I could die. I did not have to keep suffering in all the same ways in order to remain my neuroatypical self and still be me.
I can only speak from my own experience, and I am not making any commentary about autism itself, but I think there is a risk to reading a book like this and assuming that just because someone presents with a certain emotional, physical, or mental symptom means that it is part of their identity. Tally talks about how offensive it is when people talk about wanting to "cure" autism, and I completely understand why autism itself is part of her identity, but some of her behavioral, psychic, and sensitivity issues could at least hypothetically be eased. Based on my life experience, I have a hard time with the message that someone has to accept everything about their condition as inevitable and unchanging.
So, on the one hand, I wish that I could have read this when I was twelve. It would have been deeply reassuring. Yet, on the other hand, I'm glad that I didn't read it then, if the message to take away from it is that you have to accept everything about yourself, and that your most excruciating suffering is part of your identity and can't change. After all, that was my deepest fear. I was terrified that I would never be able to go back to being the happy, comparatively normal child that I had once been, and feared that I was going to stay trapped in an internal volcanic explosion until I died. I am forever grateful that my parents didn't give up and accept my situation the way it was, and put unimaginable amounts of effort into helping my life change.
I am glad that I read this book. It made me feel seen, and it contributed to my reflections about what life was like for me at twelve years old and how profoundly grateful I am that things are completely different now. Still, I have mixed feelings about aspects of this, since I know from my own experience that I can have a unique and different brain with all of the "pros" that Tally listed in her diary, without all of the "cons" staying at their worst forever.
April 13, 2021
This may be the most annoying book I've ever read! The idea of featuring autistic characters in fiction is a good one, and I think it's a great idea to help people understand what it's like to live with autism. But in spite of being based on the real life experience of a girl with autism, it doesn't ring true. The story is too didactic, and Tally's "Top Tips" for dealing with someone with autism sound like something an adult would say, not a middle school girl.
The reader is supposed to believe that the main character, Tally, is a mainstreamed student at a public middle school, but the way her behavior is portrayed, there is no way she would be mainstreamed, and particularly without an IEP and all her teachers knowing what her needs were, which is not the case in this story. At home, Tally daily has melt-downs in which she screams at her parents and her sister, tells them she hates them, and that her behavior is all their fault, and that she can't help it. At school, however, she repeatedly comments that she feels like having a melt-down, but she just can't, because she doesn't want her friends to see. So apparently, she does have some control over her behavior, which makes her look like a spoiled brat.
The reader is told over and over again that Tally has a disorder which causes her to resist complying with any direct command, request or order. She is continually losing it when her family members tell her to do anything, like hurry up and get ready for school, and then blaming them because they KNOW that if they tell her to do something, she is unable to do it. Again, she seems to manage to keep this in check at school. And for someone who can't tolerate being told what to do, she seems to issue an awful lot of orders to her family!
There is a scene where Tally and her sister are walking to school, and Tally stops to rescue a worm from the sidewalk, and her sister is upset because they will be late. She tells Tally that if she doesn't leave the worm and come right now, she will go ahead without her. But in the time it took to have this conversation, the worm could have easily have been removed to the grass! In another unbelievable scene, the family is having a serious conversation around the dinner table, and Tally interrupts to ask for a drink of juice. Her mother makes her say "please," but then asks her to wait until the conversation is finished. Tally becomes more and more unhinged, again blaming her family for making her wait for her drink. But she is supposed to be 12! She is supposed to be mainstreamed at a public school! And you mean to tell me she's not capable of getting up and getting her own juice? Seriously!? I don't know whether I wanted to smack Tally or her parents, but I sure wanted to smack somebody!
And to top it all off, there is essentially no plot other than the day to day struggle of living with autism. A minor plot involving the fate of the neighbor's dog when she is forced to go into a nursing home is introduced in the second half of the book, along with a minor plot of a falling out with her friends that seems to magically resolve near the end of the book, but it's too little, too late. I wouldn't have even rated this two stars, if I didn't think it was good to feature diverse characters in children's literature!
The reader is supposed to believe that the main character, Tally, is a mainstreamed student at a public middle school, but the way her behavior is portrayed, there is no way she would be mainstreamed, and particularly without an IEP and all her teachers knowing what her needs were, which is not the case in this story. At home, Tally daily has melt-downs in which she screams at her parents and her sister, tells them she hates them, and that her behavior is all their fault, and that she can't help it. At school, however, she repeatedly comments that she feels like having a melt-down, but she just can't, because she doesn't want her friends to see. So apparently, she does have some control over her behavior, which makes her look like a spoiled brat.
The reader is told over and over again that Tally has a disorder which causes her to resist complying with any direct command, request or order. She is continually losing it when her family members tell her to do anything, like hurry up and get ready for school, and then blaming them because they KNOW that if they tell her to do something, she is unable to do it. Again, she seems to manage to keep this in check at school. And for someone who can't tolerate being told what to do, she seems to issue an awful lot of orders to her family!
There is a scene where Tally and her sister are walking to school, and Tally stops to rescue a worm from the sidewalk, and her sister is upset because they will be late. She tells Tally that if she doesn't leave the worm and come right now, she will go ahead without her. But in the time it took to have this conversation, the worm could have easily have been removed to the grass! In another unbelievable scene, the family is having a serious conversation around the dinner table, and Tally interrupts to ask for a drink of juice. Her mother makes her say "please," but then asks her to wait until the conversation is finished. Tally becomes more and more unhinged, again blaming her family for making her wait for her drink. But she is supposed to be 12! She is supposed to be mainstreamed at a public school! And you mean to tell me she's not capable of getting up and getting her own juice? Seriously!? I don't know whether I wanted to smack Tally or her parents, but I sure wanted to smack somebody!
And to top it all off, there is essentially no plot other than the day to day struggle of living with autism. A minor plot involving the fate of the neighbor's dog when she is forced to go into a nursing home is introduced in the second half of the book, along with a minor plot of a falling out with her friends that seems to magically resolve near the end of the book, but it's too little, too late. I wouldn't have even rated this two stars, if I didn't think it was good to feature diverse characters in children's literature!
February 15, 2020
A true-to-life story about a girl with autism co-written by a girl with autism.
I started to read this last year but had to stop as it was all too near to the bone: we were filling in a 19 page form about one of my daughters to start the assessment process.
However, we are now a little further down the road and I suppose I am more accepting and more than ready to understand my daughter in any way I can.
Many people in support groups recommends this book so I picked it back up.
It is early days but I really think this book is going to change a lot about how I think about things and how I support my daughter.
I would say that about 90% of the protagonist's behaviours are recognisable in my daughter - Some parts made me laugh, others made me cry. Some parts made me go 'Ohhhhh' - lightbulb moments of realisation.
My daughter picked it up halfway through my reading of it and started reading it herself! I'm sure it is going to help her and her sisters too.
Finally, I really think all teachers should read this. The main premise is that masking behaviours at school in order to appear 'normal' can lead to massive meltdowns at home.
Even if you as a teacher never see this side of things, it doesn't mean that it isn't real.
I started to read this last year but had to stop as it was all too near to the bone: we were filling in a 19 page form about one of my daughters to start the assessment process.
However, we are now a little further down the road and I suppose I am more accepting and more than ready to understand my daughter in any way I can.
Many people in support groups recommends this book so I picked it back up.
It is early days but I really think this book is going to change a lot about how I think about things and how I support my daughter.
I would say that about 90% of the protagonist's behaviours are recognisable in my daughter - Some parts made me laugh, others made me cry. Some parts made me go 'Ohhhhh' - lightbulb moments of realisation.
My daughter picked it up halfway through my reading of it and started reading it herself! I'm sure it is going to help her and her sisters too.
Finally, I really think all teachers should read this. The main premise is that masking behaviours at school in order to appear 'normal' can lead to massive meltdowns at home.
Even if you as a teacher never see this side of things, it doesn't mean that it isn't real.
September 16, 2020
I had a bit of a hard time with this book...and I felt guilty about that. In the end though, maybe that was the point? It was very well written, and knowing that it was co-authored by a young girl with autism who based the main character off of herself gave it some extra gravitas for sure. I just really struggled with the behavior of the girl...and I realized how frustrating it must be for her, for her family, for everyone around her. She was trying so hard to explain her thoughts and her behaviors and the way that her autism affected her, and yet I continued to have thoughts of "oh my word, I don't know what I would do if I was the parent in this situation...how frustrating!" Like I said, I felt really bad about feeling and thinking those things...but I do think the authors' intentions were to give people pause and make them think a little deeper about the subject, and I did do that. Awareness and knowledge and insight are always a good thing, so I'm glad I read it.
October 13, 2020
This is an amazingly written book about a girl called Tally who is autistic and her journey, the lessons she learns and the life she leads.
June 16, 2019
A great book.
Another book I bought for my kids bookshelf to allow them to see into another world. It’s extremely important these MG books are available for kids to read and gain an understanding about people that may be around them and how they may/may not think/feel/act differently - and that’s ok!
Another book I bought for my kids bookshelf to allow them to see into another world. It’s extremely important these MG books are available for kids to read and gain an understanding about people that may be around them and how they may/may not think/feel/act differently - and that’s ok!
July 11, 2019
Una historia bonita, entretenida y sencilla de leer (ideal si quieres leer algo en inglés) sobre el autismo.
May 23, 2021
For me, the narrator's voice is way too self aware, reflective, experienced, emotionally articulate, for an 11 year old, never mind an 11 year old with autism.
"So tonight... I've written a list of dos and don'ts for parenting an autistic child. Do try to adjust to their needs at times."
"My friendships mean everything to me."
"I view the world through many lenses."
What 11 year old ever would write like that?
It would have been much better if there was more 'show' and much less 'tell'. A better book would try to recreate autism not explain it. Or is it a children's book where everything important has to be spelled out descriptively? It just doesn't ring authentic: it's got adult/ autism expert written all over it.
And yes, the book does tell you what it's like for Tally to live with autism but it didn't persuade me that she is any more important than anyone else because of it. Lacking empathy is a common trait of autism and Tally is a fairly nasty, self centred drama queen... throwing peanut butter at the wall because it was the wrong type.
However, she manages to have remarkable insight into her own emotional state, coming up with all the excuses why SHE can't behave a certain way, yet is utterly unforgiving of others, expecting perfection from them. Her family and even her peers are all supposed to put Tally's needs above their own. She expects her 11 year old friends to have expert knowledge and the skills and ability of a psychologist. She lashes out at others, telling them what they "should" be able to do, yet going mad if anyone tries to suggest what she might be able to do. "I'm not having a tantrum you horrible man... I'm not being naughty or like a baby and you should know that by now." Her needs DO NOT TRUMP ANYONE ELSE'S
Then she claims autistic people are actually more emotionally literate !!! and they can use their emotional insight to help others!!!!
"So tonight... I've written a list of dos and don'ts for parenting an autistic child. Do try to adjust to their needs at times."
"My friendships mean everything to me."
"I view the world through many lenses."
What 11 year old ever would write like that?
It would have been much better if there was more 'show' and much less 'tell'. A better book would try to recreate autism not explain it. Or is it a children's book where everything important has to be spelled out descriptively? It just doesn't ring authentic: it's got adult/ autism expert written all over it.
And yes, the book does tell you what it's like for Tally to live with autism but it didn't persuade me that she is any more important than anyone else because of it. Lacking empathy is a common trait of autism and Tally is a fairly nasty, self centred drama queen... throwing peanut butter at the wall because it was the wrong type.
However, she manages to have remarkable insight into her own emotional state, coming up with all the excuses why SHE can't behave a certain way, yet is utterly unforgiving of others, expecting perfection from them. Her family and even her peers are all supposed to put Tally's needs above their own. She expects her 11 year old friends to have expert knowledge and the skills and ability of a psychologist. She lashes out at others, telling them what they "should" be able to do, yet going mad if anyone tries to suggest what she might be able to do. "I'm not having a tantrum you horrible man... I'm not being naughty or like a baby and you should know that by now." Her needs DO NOT TRUMP ANYONE ELSE'S
Then she claims autistic people are actually more emotionally literate !!! and they can use their emotional insight to help others!!!!
September 24, 2020
Tally has autism but seldom tells anyone and usually hides away. When she starts her new school, everything is very big and overwhelming and she has to find ways to hide her autism, but what if she doesn't have to?
I found this book very intriguing and it was really cool to see the world from another perspective.
I found this book very intriguing and it was really cool to see the world from another perspective.
January 7, 2024
I was very torn on how to rate this because I jumped constantly between being able to relate to the main character and not finding her very sympathetic at all. It was refreshing to see a piece of work with first-hand Autistic representation. There were lots of relatable elements in terms of processing and the internalisation of meltdowns in school (or in my case now at work) that kept me wrapped up in the book and I finished it in a matter of hours. As a result it’s difficult to see some of the reviews about Tally being a brat and wondering if that’s how people will see you if this is their representation of Autism in girls.
It’s really important to point out to neurotypical readers that Tally is not a universal representation of how Autism presents itself. As the community often says, if you’ve met one Autistic person, then you’ve met one Autistic person. I personally really struggled to relate to her demand avoidance and how that plays out in her relationships because I present almost the completely opposite way on my “spikey profile” to the extent of naive people-pleasing. I think it is okay that I couldn’t relate to Tally’s experiences in their entirety, especially being really high masking and late diagnosed - but I don’t think this is explained in the book and many neurotypical people aren’t exposed to the discourse our community tries to produce to raise awareness because the internet can be such an echo chamber. I am a little afraid that this view of Autism is presented a little dogmatically and people who haven’t met many openly Autistic people won’t understand this.
I’ll start with the negatives because I want to end on the stuff I liked (warning of some spoilers ahead for anyone in my circle who’s thinking of reading this).
The explanations we do get for Autistic traits were quite shallow and I did have to remind myself constantly throughout this that our narrative perspective is from an 11 year old girl and this was co-authored by someone of a similar age. I think if we had a slightly older perspective these explanations and the narrative voice around why Tally was struggling might have been able to execute her struggles in less of a confusing and unsympathetic way. I think the result of this was that people who can’t relate to Tally as a character find her extremely difficult to understand because she was a bit of a walking contradiction. I could understand that given the fact I found myself getting confused at events too -
On the other hand, I also felt quite seen. There aren’t many books that manage to move me to tears but this one did on a few occasions. I think if I had had access to novels like this at Tally’s age I might have got the help I needed sooner. I’ve read plenty of coming of age stories and I am sure everyone can relate to the confusion of becoming a teenager and everyone trying to fit in. But it was the specific feeling that people don’t understand why you behave in certain ways and the frustration of those needs not being met.
The masking she refers to doing at school has been a lifelong struggle and is something I’ve had to push into almost every bubble of my life. She touches on the loneliness of not knowing who you really are when you mask, and that is so relatable. For her that masking manifested as constant meltdowns at home. For me it came out as what everyone thought was unexplained depression which I now know to be burnout. I wonder if there were more representation like this 15 years ago if kids who read it would be more empathetic towards peers with extra struggles to contend with.
I know some people found Tally really frustrating but I think it is so important for Autistic kids to have this representation and be able to see that someone else has experienced what they do. Even if there were elements that come across as far-fetched as an adult reader, I think it’s important to give people hope that the world is capable of some kindness and understanding, and that to some extent everyone has struggles they keep to themselves but may just be better at hiding. We need more characters like Tally in the media because maybe some of the less stereotypical demographics in our community might be able to get better access to help and diagnosis at an age where the support is crucial for learning how to navigate the world.
Other children Tally’s age need to understand how hard it can be to navigate change dealing with a condition like ASD and be taught more empathy and kindness. There are times when it can be hard to empathise in this story. But what Tally says about the irony that people don’t often show Autistic people empathy when they accuse us of not having it is so painfully true, no one ever really tries to put themselves in our shoes. And if there are people in careers like teaching who get more understanding of Autistic students through media like this that is even better - because you can see that the kindness of a teacher like Mrs Jarman in this novel can be a like a life float in a nightmare environment like school.
It’s really important to point out to neurotypical readers that Tally is not a universal representation of how Autism presents itself. As the community often says, if you’ve met one Autistic person, then you’ve met one Autistic person. I personally really struggled to relate to her demand avoidance and how that plays out in her relationships because I present almost the completely opposite way on my “spikey profile” to the extent of naive people-pleasing. I think it is okay that I couldn’t relate to Tally’s experiences in their entirety, especially being really high masking and late diagnosed - but I don’t think this is explained in the book and many neurotypical people aren’t exposed to the discourse our community tries to produce to raise awareness because the internet can be such an echo chamber. I am a little afraid that this view of Autism is presented a little dogmatically and people who haven’t met many openly Autistic people won’t understand this.
I’ll start with the negatives because I want to end on the stuff I liked (warning of some spoilers ahead for anyone in my circle who’s thinking of reading this).
The explanations we do get for Autistic traits were quite shallow and I did have to remind myself constantly throughout this that our narrative perspective is from an 11 year old girl and this was co-authored by someone of a similar age. I think if we had a slightly older perspective these explanations and the narrative voice around why Tally was struggling might have been able to execute her struggles in less of a confusing and unsympathetic way. I think the result of this was that people who can’t relate to Tally as a character find her extremely difficult to understand because she was a bit of a walking contradiction. I could understand that given the fact I found myself getting confused at events too -
On the other hand, I also felt quite seen. There aren’t many books that manage to move me to tears but this one did on a few occasions. I think if I had had access to novels like this at Tally’s age I might have got the help I needed sooner. I’ve read plenty of coming of age stories and I am sure everyone can relate to the confusion of becoming a teenager and everyone trying to fit in. But it was the specific feeling that people don’t understand why you behave in certain ways and the frustration of those needs not being met.
The masking she refers to doing at school has been a lifelong struggle and is something I’ve had to push into almost every bubble of my life. She touches on the loneliness of not knowing who you really are when you mask, and that is so relatable. For her that masking manifested as constant meltdowns at home. For me it came out as what everyone thought was unexplained depression which I now know to be burnout. I wonder if there were more representation like this 15 years ago if kids who read it would be more empathetic towards peers with extra struggles to contend with.
I know some people found Tally really frustrating but I think it is so important for Autistic kids to have this representation and be able to see that someone else has experienced what they do. Even if there were elements that come across as far-fetched as an adult reader, I think it’s important to give people hope that the world is capable of some kindness and understanding, and that to some extent everyone has struggles they keep to themselves but may just be better at hiding. We need more characters like Tally in the media because maybe some of the less stereotypical demographics in our community might be able to get better access to help and diagnosis at an age where the support is crucial for learning how to navigate the world.
Other children Tally’s age need to understand how hard it can be to navigate change dealing with a condition like ASD and be taught more empathy and kindness. There are times when it can be hard to empathise in this story. But what Tally says about the irony that people don’t often show Autistic people empathy when they accuse us of not having it is so painfully true, no one ever really tries to put themselves in our shoes. And if there are people in careers like teaching who get more understanding of Autistic students through media like this that is even better - because you can see that the kindness of a teacher like Mrs Jarman in this novel can be a like a life float in a nightmare environment like school.
April 26, 2021
Read this in a few hours I was that hooked. I love how it focused on a girl with autism and her going to secondary school. The themes are really important and something I would discuss in year 6.
March 29, 2020
Lo hemos leído en el club de lectura middle Grade de la Libroteca con #LosCazalibros.
Es una novela estupenda, nos ha encantado conocer a Tally y su manera de ver la vida. La historia tiene de todo y se agradecen muchísimo las entradas del blog. Es increíble la cantidad de ideas equivocadas que tenemos sobre la gente autista. Creo que este libro deberían leerlo en todos los colegios. Por mi parte, pienso recomendarlo mucho en la librería.
TENÉIS QUE LEERLO.
Es una novela estupenda, nos ha encantado conocer a Tally y su manera de ver la vida. La historia tiene de todo y se agradecen muchísimo las entradas del blog. Es increíble la cantidad de ideas equivocadas que tenemos sobre la gente autista. Creo que este libro deberían leerlo en todos los colegios. Por mi parte, pienso recomendarlo mucho en la librería.
TENÉIS QUE LEERLO.
January 29, 2024
Can You See Me? has Tally, a young autistic girl as the main character. I loved the female autism rep, as well as the fact that author Libby Scott is autistic, making Tally's voice authentic. (And Libby Scott co-authored this book when she was 11!). Highly recommend for kids (especially girls) with autism, parents of autistic children, and kids with autistic friends. Tally's journal entries provide lots of details about the autistic experience, and are highly informative.
Content:
Occasional mild cussing (heck, OMG, lowercase g- god). Kids watch a horror film without parental permission (not detailed). Bullying. Some breaking of rules.
Ages 9+
Content:
Occasional mild cussing (heck, OMG, lowercase g- god). Kids watch a horror film without parental permission (not detailed). Bullying. Some breaking of rules.
Ages 9+
June 14, 2020
No tengo la suerte de que mi sobrino con TEA sepa contarme como es vivir con autismo y como se siente, ya que es incapaz de comunicarse (o más bien nosotros somos los incapaces de entenderle) pero siento que este libro me ha acercado de alguna forma más a él y me ha hecho entender muchas de sus actitudes.
Un libro muy recomendado, especialmente para los más peques y adolescentes.
Un libro muy recomendado, especialmente para los más peques y adolescentes.
July 23, 2024
4.5 stars
i really liked the represention
ive reduced it to 4.5 because i really hate the term "autism is a superpower "
i really liked the represention
ive reduced it to 4.5 because i really hate the term "autism is a superpower "
September 19, 2024
PopSugar Reading Challenge: 29. Un libro con un personaje neurodivergente
May 10, 2020
This book beautifully portrays the experiences of Tally, a young girl with autism, as she transitions from primary to secondary school. It features bullying, friendship, fitting in, staying true to yourself and showing that everyone is different in different ways, all of which are topics which affect every child as they move up to secondary school. However, for Tally, she feels all of these things even stronger, the upset, confusion and turmoil she faces in day to day situations is shown, along with her dairy entries at the end of some chapters, which also provide a deeper insight into the experiences and actions of a child with autism as well as explaining some terms and definitions in addition to the ways in which her autism affects her and her actions. Importantly, the book also includes the fact that this is just one child's experiences - it won't be the same for every child with autism but it provides a fascinating insight which can help teachers and adults immensely to support children in similar situations. This book would be excellent for Year 6 to teach about inclusion and transition, along with autistic children themselves who may feel isolated and alone, just like Tally. However I think it's equally important for all teachers, support staff and anyone who works with, or knows, an autistic child to read this book.
July 1, 2023
This is a wonderful book!
There were some parts that made me cry because it was exactly like my experience at school. Her relationship with her sister was similar to my relationship with my brother. The relationship with her mum, being the one who understands, was the same with me.
One thing Tally had that I did not have was the knowledge that she is autistic, she knew - I wish I had known and I wish I had books like this when I was that age.
This is a wonderful book!!
There were some parts that made me cry because it was exactly like my experience at school. Her relationship with her sister was similar to my relationship with my brother. The relationship with her mum, being the one who understands, was the same with me.
One thing Tally had that I did not have was the knowledge that she is autistic, she knew - I wish I had known and I wish I had books like this when I was that age.
This is a wonderful book!!
May 6, 2020
Puedes sacar muchas enseñanzas de este libro, no solo aprender a cómo tratar a una persona con autismo, sino a cómo tratar a la gente en general.
Los prejuicios son malísimos, y eso queda de manifiesto en este libro.
Los prejuicios son malísimos, y eso queda de manifiesto en este libro.
April 18, 2020
Can you see me follows Tally’s life as a girl with autism joining secondary school. I think this is a really important book for teachers to read as it helps to show another perspective of autism, addressing some aspects of autism which may be faced by children. This book could also be read to year 5/6 children to help them understand autism as well as teaching them that it is okay to feel different. Reading this book with year 6 children may be useful in the preparation to moving to secondary school, showing that although they may be feeling frightened, this is normal and lots of other children will be feeling the same.
At the end of lots of the chapters Tally writes in her diary, this allows you to see how an autistic child may be thinking. She also write top tips and positives and negatives of different aspects of her autism. These could be useful for showing autism positively as well as understanding some different aspects children may experience.
At the end of lots of the chapters Tally writes in her diary, this allows you to see how an autistic child may be thinking. She also write top tips and positives and negatives of different aspects of her autism. These could be useful for showing autism positively as well as understanding some different aspects children may experience.
April 7, 2021
Oh my goodness I loved it so much!
No book (that I remember) has ever made me cry like that one did. I literally cried for 100 pages.
Tally and one of the other kids in the book reminded me completely of a couple children I teach and it hit some very personal nerves because of it. This book is so incredibly well written, and shows the reader so much of the autistic experience in a way I haven't ever seen before. I feel like a better and more understanding person for reading it. Honestly think this should be essential reading for anyone who works with children.
No book (that I remember) has ever made me cry like that one did. I literally cried for 100 pages.
Tally and one of the other kids in the book reminded me completely of a couple children I teach and it hit some very personal nerves because of it. This book is so incredibly well written, and shows the reader so much of the autistic experience in a way I haven't ever seen before. I feel like a better and more understanding person for reading it. Honestly think this should be essential reading for anyone who works with children.
December 17, 2019
This has been a very eye-opening read.
The fact that this book has been inspired by a young girl called Libby using her diary entries of her life with autism has made this book so much more pleasure to read as Libby’s voice is heard through the character tally.
I found it quite an emotional read, enjoyable and I’ve already recommended it to a friend as I know that she will enjoy it as much as I did.
The fact that this book has been inspired by a young girl called Libby using her diary entries of her life with autism has made this book so much more pleasure to read as Libby’s voice is heard through the character tally.
I found it quite an emotional read, enjoyable and I’ve already recommended it to a friend as I know that she will enjoy it as much as I did.
August 8, 2022
this is such a good representation of what it's like to be growing up as an autistic person and I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to understand more what it's like to be autistic.
(also I loved all the taylor swift references!)
(also I loved all the taylor swift references!)
June 14, 2020
Can you see me? gives an insight into what it is like to be a high functioning autistic person. A must read for children and teachers to help make school a better place for all.
May 31, 2022
In my opinion, this is one of the best middle grade books.... ever. SUCH A GOOD BOOK!! Everyone should read it.
March 1, 2021
A brilliant book from the perspective of a young autistic person. A very good read
February 12, 2022
This book was so well written. Having a grandson that is only 5 and just starting main stream school as an autistic young man, this helped me to recognize his behaviors and appreciate how brilliant he is. More people should read books like this so we don't judge what we don't fully understand.
January 31, 2021
So emotional, amazing and brilliant. Go and read it now , why are you sitting here go now ! Stop reading this and go now , quick before it's gone .
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