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Kink & Showtunes #1
Their Troublesome Crush
In this queer polyamorous m/f romance novella, two metamours realize they have crushes on each other while planning their shared partner's birthday party together.
Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant's birthday party and trying to do a really good job.
Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant's birthday party and trying to do a really good job.
143 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 16, 2019
About the author
Xan West
45 books363 followersXan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
December 21, 2023
Horribly written garbage. The writing style reminds me of something a middle schooler would write on Wattpad. Subtlety and weirdly pedophilic. This book fetishizes minorities in attempts to seem “inclusive” but it’s just blatant tokenism. But I guess this is an accurate description of a polyamorous relationship, the degeneracy is rampant.
December 22, 2023
Why is 90% of the synopsis pronouns lmao
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June 13, 2019I love Xan West's books. They always feel like being invited in a space of warmth, understanding, and kindness, where everyone gets to be their amazing fat, disabled, autistic, queer polyamorous & kinky selves fully, without compromises but not without erasing the struggles that come with such things.
THEIR TROUBLESOME CRUSH has a demiromantic MC dealing with the realisation that he has a new romantic crush, and the upheaval and possibilities this open, and I absolutely adored Ernest's evolution through this storyline, how much discussion happens around different attractions, how he has other arospecs to talk with. It's incredibly validating and thoughtful rep, and there's a bit where he writes a love song from an aromantic perspective that was just -amazing-.
All in all, I highly recommend this.
THEIR TROUBLESOME CRUSH has a demiromantic MC dealing with the realisation that he has a new romantic crush, and the upheaval and possibilities this open, and I absolutely adored Ernest's evolution through this storyline, how much discussion happens around different attractions, how he has other arospecs to talk with. It's incredibly validating and thoughtful rep, and there's a bit where he writes a love song from an aromantic perspective that was just -amazing-.
All in all, I highly recommend this.
May 17, 2020
I've been reading romance novels to distract me from my anxiety surrounding this pandemic, and it's been working pretty well for me, especially with this book! I started it before going to sleep, and I absolutely had to read it in one sitting, just because it made me feel so much better.
This book was chock-full of representation, and it was honestly such a treat. I'm personally not kinky or polyamorous, so if you are, this book will likely work even better for you than it did for me. But I am queer and autistic, and I specifically really loved the autism rep. It made me feel very safe and very seen. Of course the queer rep was great as well, but I just don't get to see good autism rep very often, so this means a lot to me.
What mostly spoke to me in this book is just the sheer kindness that pretty much spills out of it. There's this wonderful found family, and everyone is so incredibly kind and considerate, and I really loved reading that.
This book was chock-full of representation, and it was honestly such a treat. I'm personally not kinky or polyamorous, so if you are, this book will likely work even better for you than it did for me. But I am queer and autistic, and I specifically really loved the autism rep. It made me feel very safe and very seen. Of course the queer rep was great as well, but I just don't get to see good autism rep very often, so this means a lot to me.
What mostly spoke to me in this book is just the sheer kindness that pretty much spills out of it. There's this wonderful found family, and everyone is so incredibly kind and considerate, and I really loved reading that.
February 10, 2021
Just the softest, most lovely, non-monogamous romance, complete with queer chosen family, non-sexual kink, own-voices autistic rep, and lots of trans joy! SWOON!
January 1, 2024
I read this book out of curiosity after seeing its description posted online and my god I wish I didn’t. This book is a hunk of preachy nothingness. Chapters of spitting out various terms related to kink stuff, Jewish tradition, LGBT+ identity, and disability without any substance. The characters’ entire lives revolve around kink. Characters are named without any substantial reason.
There is no conflict. Most passages are described in passing, and if there’s an actual scene where characters are talking, it’s only to explain terminology related to marginalized identities to the reader.
Passages like these feel like some sort of overcorrection for media like Fifty Shades of Grey that completely misrepresent dominance. Nobody talks like this!
This story is labeled as an erotica but the only thing vaguely erotic is a little bit in the epilogue, as well as this weird insistence on describing how fat every character is. It’s a fat fetish book disguised as centering bigger people as protagonists. I told myself I’d start my diet after a certain date, but this book made me want to hit the treadmills right now just so I could distance myself from this.
Ernest as a protagonist does not feel like an autistic adult. He is constantly infantilized to the point where it feels like he’s a child. I felt deeply uncomfortable reading about him discussing his kinks and then going off to play with puzzles meant for little kids. The story describes him going into “Tigger Mode” and bouncing around like a child at the thought of doing some dom/sub stuff. This infantilization cuts any sort of eroticism the book may spark. This book is supposed to be kinky!
I’m autistic, fat, trans, disabled, and bisexual. There are characters similar to me in this book but only by labels. The book prides itself on being diverse, inclusive, and informative, but ends up being condescending. There’s a whole passage where Nora talks about how people fetishize her for being bisexual, fat, and disabled, yet the way the narration describes everything, those aspects of her are fetishized while removing anything that makes her a character.
The showtunes aspect of the story was akin to bad fanfiction writing. Dropping the names of songs in a story doesn’t set the mood. Not everyone’s going to know the songs, and very few people are going to pull them up when they’re mentioned to understand what the characters are listening to.
The entire book feels like the author is virtue signaling. I do not throw around that term at any story that has gay people or autistic people or whatever. The way the author writes is less like a story and more like circa 2015 Tumblr PSA posts.
My eyes nearly detached from my skull by the amount of eyerolling I did while reading this book.
There is no conflict. Most passages are described in passing, and if there’s an actual scene where characters are talking, it’s only to explain terminology related to marginalized identities to the reader.
“So you aren’t doing service now, for me?”
“Oh, no. I would never do service for someone without their knowledge and consent. That’s…well, that’s not service. Dominant consent is a critical piece of service.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that. Some folks don’t get that,” she said, her voice stern.
“I’m a survivor. Consent is super important to me.”
“Me too. On both counts.”
Passages like these feel like some sort of overcorrection for media like Fifty Shades of Grey that completely misrepresent dominance. Nobody talks like this!
This story is labeled as an erotica but the only thing vaguely erotic is a little bit in the epilogue, as well as this weird insistence on describing how fat every character is. It’s a fat fetish book disguised as centering bigger people as protagonists. I told myself I’d start my diet after a certain date, but this book made me want to hit the treadmills right now just so I could distance myself from this.
Ernest as a protagonist does not feel like an autistic adult. He is constantly infantilized to the point where it feels like he’s a child. I felt deeply uncomfortable reading about him discussing his kinks and then going off to play with puzzles meant for little kids. The story describes him going into “Tigger Mode” and bouncing around like a child at the thought of doing some dom/sub stuff. This infantilization cuts any sort of eroticism the book may spark. This book is supposed to be kinky!
I’m autistic, fat, trans, disabled, and bisexual. There are characters similar to me in this book but only by labels. The book prides itself on being diverse, inclusive, and informative, but ends up being condescending. There’s a whole passage where Nora talks about how people fetishize her for being bisexual, fat, and disabled, yet the way the narration describes everything, those aspects of her are fetishized while removing anything that makes her a character.
The showtunes aspect of the story was akin to bad fanfiction writing. Dropping the names of songs in a story doesn’t set the mood. Not everyone’s going to know the songs, and very few people are going to pull them up when they’re mentioned to understand what the characters are listening to.
The entire book feels like the author is virtue signaling. I do not throw around that term at any story that has gay people or autistic people or whatever. The way the author writes is less like a story and more like circa 2015 Tumblr PSA posts.
“Oh. It’s Candye Kane. I love her. I was playing my song, the one I’ve been using since I was a novice, to rev myself up and get into domspace. It’s a bit of a problematic fave, the lyrics kinda imply that you can show somebody else how to love. That part isn’t what makes it my song, I change the lyrics in my head to be about dominance. More like…you need a great big woman to tell you what to do.”
My eyes nearly detached from my skull by the amount of eyerolling I did while reading this book.
January 11, 2024
Reading this book was one of the worst experiences of my life.
I would rather get a colonoscopy from a chain link fence over having to read this book one more time. I would rather get e. coli from a dripping dirty sanchez on a scorching day in Death Valley instead of trying to read this stain on the fabric of literature ever again. I would rather listen to David Dobrik's Luciferian demon laughter play on a loop as my ears bleed in some sort of Hellish vlog night terror I can't wake up from instead of reading Their Troublesome Crush. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if this author was involved in a ponzi scheme (allegedly). 1 star book.
I would rather get a colonoscopy from a chain link fence over having to read this book one more time. I would rather get e. coli from a dripping dirty sanchez on a scorching day in Death Valley instead of trying to read this stain on the fabric of literature ever again. I would rather listen to David Dobrik's Luciferian demon laughter play on a loop as my ears bleed in some sort of Hellish vlog night terror I can't wake up from instead of reading Their Troublesome Crush. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if this author was involved in a ponzi scheme (allegedly). 1 star book.
December 24, 2023
I read the excerpt out of curiosity.
I'm not gonna say anything except ask the question:
Why is the main character infantilized so much?
Very pedophilic of ya. Can't believe this person has won multiple literature awards.
I'm not gonna say anything except ask the question:
Why is the main character infantilized so much?
Very pedophilic of ya. Can't believe this person has won multiple literature awards.
May 14, 2019
Boy how I wished this was longer and that I could spend more time in the world of these characters. I wish I hadn't finished it so quickly, but it was really, really hard to put down because every scene was a delight.
I also wish I could give a book over 5 stars. Maybe even 7 or 8. Their Troublesome Crush was just that singular in the way fat characters were described, how deeply the POV character's autism informed the narrative, and how attraction was described and approached.
I loved that Ernest's autism was so central to how events unfold. It was profoundly reassuring and meaningful to read about all the ways he had learned to conduct his life so that it worked best for him. I was a bit jealous, actually, of how he knew just how to deal with it when feeling certain ways. For example putting on a particular song and doing some movement, getting water, giving his brain space to process by doing a puzzle.... It seemed like he had gone through a lot of introspection at some point prior to the narrative, and probably a lot of trial and error, to figure our what works and what doesn't. Getting to read about him gave me ideas for how to structure my own life so that it suits me and isn't just a reproduction of how things are 'supposed' to be.
It also meant a lot to me that Ernest describes all of what he's experiencing in terms of how it feels in his body. That level of mindfulness and detail is something I haven't really seen before. Even though he talks about not being grounded a lot of times, he's actually super aware of what he's experiencing. I found this really helpful because it's something I need to get better at, so seeing him do it is like getting a model. Sometimes feelings, especially about other people, can feel so troubling and amorphous. Expressing them as concrete sensations can help bring one back into the body and the reality of the moment.
I don't even know what to say about the goodness that is Ernest's dynamic with Nora, except to say that her fatness is described in such open and admiring ways - it was beautiful and moving. The cover really helped with that as well, I had a really excellent mental picture of both characters. The kinks they shared, or at least the particular ways they manifested, weren't of particular interest to me. But the way they interacted and tried to communicate, get things right, and take care of each other made their scenes together an absolute joy to read.
I also wish I could give a book over 5 stars. Maybe even 7 or 8. Their Troublesome Crush was just that singular in the way fat characters were described, how deeply the POV character's autism informed the narrative, and how attraction was described and approached.
I loved that Ernest's autism was so central to how events unfold. It was profoundly reassuring and meaningful to read about all the ways he had learned to conduct his life so that it worked best for him. I was a bit jealous, actually, of how he knew just how to deal with it when feeling certain ways. For example putting on a particular song and doing some movement, getting water, giving his brain space to process by doing a puzzle.... It seemed like he had gone through a lot of introspection at some point prior to the narrative, and probably a lot of trial and error, to figure our what works and what doesn't. Getting to read about him gave me ideas for how to structure my own life so that it suits me and isn't just a reproduction of how things are 'supposed' to be.
It also meant a lot to me that Ernest describes all of what he's experiencing in terms of how it feels in his body. That level of mindfulness and detail is something I haven't really seen before. Even though he talks about not being grounded a lot of times, he's actually super aware of what he's experiencing. I found this really helpful because it's something I need to get better at, so seeing him do it is like getting a model. Sometimes feelings, especially about other people, can feel so troubling and amorphous. Expressing them as concrete sensations can help bring one back into the body and the reality of the moment.
I don't even know what to say about the goodness that is Ernest's dynamic with Nora, except to say that her fatness is described in such open and admiring ways - it was beautiful and moving. The cover really helped with that as well, I had a really excellent mental picture of both characters. The kinks they shared, or at least the particular ways they manifested, weren't of particular interest to me. But the way they interacted and tried to communicate, get things right, and take care of each other made their scenes together an absolute joy to read.
January 4, 2022
This is one of the cutest things I have ever read.
I have never read so much 'representation' in one piece of writing. Gender, sexuality, kink, romantic orientation, fatness, faith, disability, mental health, neurodivergence - I'm sure that's not even a complete list.
For such a short piece of writing, there is way too much explaining. I understand that many people found this educational, but I wish the characters (and the story) had a little more space to breathe.
Every character is unfailingly kind and good at communicating. I think if this was fanfic it would be tagged 'fluff'. I read it on a whim because of the words 'kink' and 'showtunes' (hello, my core identifiers) and I'm just not the right audience for this book: I need some tension, and a bit of - sorry - bite.
Did it rot my teeth a little bit? Yes. Will I seek out more by this (sadly deceased) author? No. But I am still glad I stumbled across it.
I have never read so much 'representation' in one piece of writing. Gender, sexuality, kink, romantic orientation, fatness, faith, disability, mental health, neurodivergence - I'm sure that's not even a complete list.
For such a short piece of writing, there is way too much explaining. I understand that many people found this educational, but I wish the characters (and the story) had a little more space to breathe.
Every character is unfailingly kind and good at communicating. I think if this was fanfic it would be tagged 'fluff'. I read it on a whim because of the words 'kink' and 'showtunes' (hello, my core identifiers) and I'm just not the right audience for this book: I need some tension, and a bit of - sorry - bite.
Did it rot my teeth a little bit? Yes. Will I seek out more by this (sadly deceased) author? No. But I am still glad I stumbled across it.
Read
February 6, 2019Hi there, this is the author. I wanted to note that you can find content warnings for this book here:
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/their-t...
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/their-t...
July 31, 2021
When I first joined the Romance community Corey Alexander (who wrote as Xan West) was one of the first people to greet me and make me welcome. I’ve waited far too long to read one of their stories, because I wish I could tell them how much I found joy and pleasure in Their Troublesome Crush. The story of the crush between metamours Ernest, a trans man and service submissive, and Nora, a cis woman switch, was just lovely. The care and attention paid to to their needs and feelings was a place of safety.
October 28, 2021
I'm very happy for all the representation, but I just felt like I was being Educated About Things the entire time, not being told a story. There were also an awful lot of characters Educating Me trying to fit into a short novella, and an awful lot of topics to be Educated about. So, I'm not sure who this is for -- for those of us who are familiar with the topics, it's kinda boring, and for those who aren't, I imagine it would be too much at once. But clearly the book has a lot of fans, so it's for someone!
May 11, 2019
Absolutely loved this. <3 Would absolutely love it even if I hadn't had the pleasure of editing it! So freaking sweet and validating, really funny in parts, wonderfully vulnerable and real and intensely relatable (especially to autistic readers, who definitely need more books like this).
October 17, 2021
I found the concept of this book interesting but unfortunately the execution let it down. It felt stifled by having characters interrupt scenes to explain concepts such as consent or different kinds of kink. I am in no way an expert and while I did learn a lot about polyamorous queer/kink communities, it felt at times like I was reading an instruction manual or a queer after school special. I wish West had really done a bit more showing than telling and used more creative ways to weave these concepts in.
It’s unfortunate because it would be great if this kind of diversity of characters and stories were more common. But perhaps use the forward to explain these concepts and just let the characters be as they are?
Read for Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge #7: Read a fat-positive romance and Challenge #8: Read a romance by a trans or non-binary author.
It’s unfortunate because it would be great if this kind of diversity of characters and stories were more common. But perhaps use the forward to explain these concepts and just let the characters be as they are?
Read for Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge #7: Read a fat-positive romance and Challenge #8: Read a romance by a trans or non-binary author.
January 19, 2024
This is perhaps one of the most disgusting, degenerate, filthy, sinful, vile books I have ever had the displeasure of coming across. Simply looking at the cover and reading the description makes me feel the need to take a shower in holy water. The physical copies of this sorry excuse for literature should be burned, the digital copies erased, and the degenrate author banned from future publications.
Sincerely,
Raymond Cist
Sincerely,
Raymond Cist
January 10, 2024
I’m all about representation in the books I read. This is not it.
There is barely a plot. The characters are merely a collection of labels who never have a conversation past explains said labels to one another.
Absolutely exhausting. People do not talk like this - especially within their own communities!
There is barely a plot. The characters are merely a collection of labels who never have a conversation past explains said labels to one another.
Absolutely exhausting. People do not talk like this - especially within their own communities!
Shelved as 'kill-it-with-fire'
December 26, 2023What in the ever loving we’ll have ALL the labels Cthulhu is this shit? Is this a book or a checklist? I want to go and vomit a rainbow.
June 16, 2021
Not your usual romance, but a thoroughly enjoyable one! It has left me thinking about so many things, and I just love that.
A quick summary: Ernest and Nora's crush is “troublesome” because it would mean a major shift in their dynamic, and both are nervous about it.
.
This book has a lot of thoughts and insight into attraction and aromanticism, two things that have been on my mind lately.
.
Here, Ernest parses the different kinds of attraction he has for Nora.
.
Romantic – yes he wants to date her and hold hands
Aesthetic – yes he wants to look at how lovely she is
Kink – yes he wants to do D/s scenes with her
Sexual – no he doesn’t want to have sex
This makes SO MUCH SENSE to me.
This is my second Xan West book and both were very good. Both dive you into a loving community, far from any I’ve ever known. West was part of the Jewish fat queer kink community, and both books feature characters part of that. West was also autistic, on the ace spectrum, and disabled, and so various characters have those perspectives as well.
.
So I got to read a great story, meet interesting people who get their HFN (Ernest and Nora do one date and one D/s scene, so it’s just the start of their HFN), and also learn about experiences different from my own? A win-win-win.
Detailed CWs are on Xan West's website.
A quick summary: Ernest and Nora's crush is “troublesome” because it would mean a major shift in their dynamic, and both are nervous about it.
.
This book has a lot of thoughts and insight into attraction and aromanticism, two things that have been on my mind lately.
.
Here, Ernest parses the different kinds of attraction he has for Nora.
.
Romantic – yes he wants to date her and hold hands
Aesthetic – yes he wants to look at how lovely she is
Kink – yes he wants to do D/s scenes with her
Sexual – no he doesn’t want to have sex
This makes SO MUCH SENSE to me.
This is my second Xan West book and both were very good. Both dive you into a loving community, far from any I’ve ever known. West was part of the Jewish fat queer kink community, and both books feature characters part of that. West was also autistic, on the ace spectrum, and disabled, and so various characters have those perspectives as well.
.
So I got to read a great story, meet interesting people who get their HFN (Ernest and Nora do one date and one D/s scene, so it’s just the start of their HFN), and also learn about experiences different from my own? A win-win-win.
Detailed CWs are on Xan West's website.
November 4, 2019
I love this book so much! <3
I bought it for a friend even before I finished reading it :D
During the story I kept going from 'finally, a book that's about (certain parts of) my life' to 'I wish this was my life'.
I bought it for a friend even before I finished reading it :D
During the story I kept going from 'finally, a book that's about (certain parts of) my life' to 'I wish this was my life'.
March 2, 2021
Esse é um livro BDSM muito representativo e acolhedor e tem uma representatividade autista muito bacana que adorei. Meu maior problema foi um trecho lesbofóbico extremamente inconveniente e nocivo
June 21, 2024
I can't believe I haven't had anyone mention this book before to me because this was such a delightful, thought-provoking, enlightening read. As someone who does not have very much education on the autism spectrum and is only a bit more educated on polyamory and kink, this book opened me up to whole new worlds.
Firstly, the representation really knocks it out of the park. A Jewish, fat, disabled, autistic, demiromantic, trans man Ernest realizes he's beginning to have feelings for one of his metamours, a Jewish, fat, disabled, femme cis woman Nora.
Their conversations about navigating communication with each other as friends, then as their own newly budding relationship, were exponentially insightful. I could see how West was demonstrating the language to use when communicating wants, needs, and feelings in really any type of relationship, but also coupled with how to learn to best understand an autistic friend, lover, family member, etc.
I loved the discussion about different types of attraction - romantic, sexual, aesthetic, sensual, kink, platonic, etc. - as well as how those all played out in Ernest's relationships. It gave me a new perspective on polyamory and all various relationships. Also do not expect a triad or throuple; these are two metamours creating their own separate relationship from their shared metamour, a reflection of the variety of polyamorous relationships that may or may not have couplings within them, varying degrees of involvement between parties.
Also I somehow never heard of the kink handkerchief system? So that prompted an incredibly informative Google search XD
I highly recommend anyone add this not only to their pride reading lists but to their main TBR even after pride month is over.
TWs: anxiety, meltdown occurrence, discussion of another character's depression, one brief reference to misgendering occurrence (off-page)
More specifics included in front pages.
Firstly, the representation really knocks it out of the park. A Jewish, fat, disabled, autistic, demiromantic, trans man Ernest realizes he's beginning to have feelings for one of his metamours, a Jewish, fat, disabled, femme cis woman Nora.
Their conversations about navigating communication with each other as friends, then as their own newly budding relationship, were exponentially insightful. I could see how West was demonstrating the language to use when communicating wants, needs, and feelings in really any type of relationship, but also coupled with how to learn to best understand an autistic friend, lover, family member, etc.
I loved the discussion about different types of attraction - romantic, sexual, aesthetic, sensual, kink, platonic, etc. - as well as how those all played out in Ernest's relationships. It gave me a new perspective on polyamory and all various relationships. Also do not expect a triad or throuple; these are two metamours creating their own separate relationship from their shared metamour, a reflection of the variety of polyamorous relationships that may or may not have couplings within them, varying degrees of involvement between parties.
Also I somehow never heard of the kink handkerchief system? So that prompted an incredibly informative Google search XD
I highly recommend anyone add this not only to their pride reading lists but to their main TBR even after pride month is over.
TWs: anxiety, meltdown occurrence, discussion of another character's depression, one brief reference to misgendering occurrence (off-page)
More specifics included in front pages.
September 20, 2021
This was a really charming book!! Just soft, low angst queers falling in love��
Content Warnings: pulled these from the author's website! Detailed description of gender dysphoria, References to: being misgendered by family, familial estrangement, depression, being a survivor & managing PTSD, fat oppression, trans oppression and ableism. Brief reference to familial pressure to mask autism, Use of the term “queer” as a reclaimed slur, reference to the lesbian sex wars.Many references to BDSM, including Daddy/boy dynamic, D/s, service, bondage, and pain play. Depiction of service provided in the context of a D/s relationship. Depiction of a BDSM scene that includes bondage, D/s, and service (Chapter 10 only).
Content Notes: Ernest is a white, trans, demiromantic, queer, autistic, fat jewish man, and Nora is a white, disabled, queer, fat femme cis woman.
Content Warnings: pulled these from the author's website! Detailed description of gender dysphoria, References to: being misgendered by family, familial estrangement, depression, being a survivor & managing PTSD, fat oppression, trans oppression and ableism. Brief reference to familial pressure to mask autism, Use of the term “queer” as a reclaimed slur, reference to the lesbian sex wars.Many references to BDSM, including Daddy/boy dynamic, D/s, service, bondage, and pain play. Depiction of service provided in the context of a D/s relationship. Depiction of a BDSM scene that includes bondage, D/s, and service (Chapter 10 only).
Content Notes: Ernest is a white, trans, demiromantic, queer, autistic, fat jewish man, and Nora is a white, disabled, queer, fat femme cis woman.
Shelved as 'featured'
February 16, 2020October 6, 2019
What a fantastic read. I really appreciated reading how Ernest stimmed and thought through his feelings and what he focused on when he needed to feel better. The same day I finished it, I was able to use some of the strategies Ernest uses to get me through a tough situation. I'm also planning to use some of the models of him conversing with others, to talk about my concerns about how I act in a situation.
I really liked the ways that Ernest knew things to do based on how he felt, and that he was able to identify the ways he was feeling a lot of the time, or if he didn't understand how he felt, things he needed to do to help himself. And I appreciated the open and honest communication that happened with the people in his life, and showing how things manifested when he stopped masking less. I was able to see myself in some of this, and see certain friends in some of this.
Another thing I really liked was
I love the ways that Ernest described Nora, and her bigness in a space, and the beauty in various things she did or said or was. And I liked the ways they learned how to communicate with each other. It was different with Ernest and a longtime friend versus with a newer metamour and they had to learn each other's communication styles, and they did that by explicitly asking and talking about that.
There's a lot that I loved about this book.
I really liked the ways that Ernest knew things to do based on how he felt, and that he was able to identify the ways he was feeling a lot of the time, or if he didn't understand how he felt, things he needed to do to help himself. And I appreciated the open and honest communication that happened with the people in his life, and showing how things manifested when he stopped masking less. I was able to see myself in some of this, and see certain friends in some of this.
Another thing I really liked was
I love the ways that Ernest described Nora, and her bigness in a space, and the beauty in various things she did or said or was. And I liked the ways they learned how to communicate with each other. It was different with Ernest and a longtime friend versus with a newer metamour and they had to learn each other's communication styles, and they did that by explicitly asking and talking about that.
There's a lot that I loved about this book.
May 22, 2019
I highly recommend Their Troublesome Crush to anyone interested in BDSM Romance that gives you the Warm-n-Fuzzies.
I fell in love with Their Troublesome Crush when I saw the cover art. It depicted beautiful art and colors that caught the eye in general but seeing a romance novel that proudly showed not just one but two fat characters, right there on the cover! I squealed in delight and didn’t care who saw me wiggling with happiness. At that point I absolutely had to read this story.
From the very beginning, I was attracted to the main characters. Ernest is adorable and sweet. I’d have tea with him any day. Nora is sweet switch I am totally digging and I wish I’d met people like this in my early days of BDSM exploration. Even the side characters give me all the warm and fuzzies in their loving care for each other and the main characters.
Unafraid of Fat and Disability
There is a scene in the story where Ernest visits Nora’s home. The space and Nora in it are described beautifully, especially regarding her size. Nora becomes bigger, fatter, more relaxed in her space. The room and furnishings are chosen and arranged to accommodate her size and her mobility issues. Ernest takes all this in, the details are given to the reader unflinchingly without being grotesque. Its how I wish other fat and disabled characters in other books were portrayed – described with love.
Nurturing Care and Access Intimacy
Access Intimacy and Care are what really shine in Their Troublesome Crush that I’ve yet to see in many romances. Not only does West take care to write very real and diverse characters with a variety of needs BUT they also write characters that take care of each other with their needs in mind. My heart grew three sizes when Ernest makes food with their dietary needs in mind.
I’m gonna veer off subject for just a second but one of the first things that endeared this book to me was the very beginning scene when Ernest is trying to decide about ordering cupcakes knowing Nora is diabetic. He can’t decide if ordering the variety of sweet treats would be putting her out or if not ordering them would be stepping on her own autonomy in making decisions about what she can and cannot eat. I nearly cried. I’ve had friends, dates, and family make decisions for me “for my own good” regarding food (I’m not diabetic but this was done regarding other things like my weight and lactose intolerance). Its painful and makes me feel like a child in a not-good way. Seeing a character go over this and choose to allow the other character make decisions for themselves was beautiful and I’m grateful for this scene.
This care goes beyond food and is also revealed in Ernest’s relationship with his Daddy and with his friends. He has very clear, previously discussed, signs when he needs space due to his autism and/or gender dysphoria. His loved ones see these signs, understand that, and act accordingly. This seems simple but its not often I read a book where a Dominant grants the submissive space and its not made into a complicated mess to further the plot line. Instead it shows the love and care between characters, reveals some of their polyamorous connections and understandings, and is just damn real and sweet.
Foodie Fan
I was impressed by the fact that West did not shy away from food in their book, like many stories with fat characters do. In fact, the book is quite the foodie romance. It starts out with cupcakes and moves into dinners, tea service, and more. I could almost sing “These are a few of my favorite things” just with this theme of the book.
The only thing that could have made this over the top even better was recipes for those cupcakes and sandwiches and other treats available in the back of the book. I’d cook up a storm in my kitchen to celebrate this book.
BDSM
Something that West does well in Their Troublesome Crush as well as in their short story, Trying Submission, is show BDSM, specifically the D/s dynamic as well as bondage, without making it overtly erotic.
West keys into something many people don’t always understand about this lifestyle – BDSM isn’t always about sex. You can have a very fulfulling BDSM experience or dynamic without including sex. This is revealed in West’s work without detracting at all from the romance or emotion in the story.
I’d love to see more of this discussed in BDSM romances.
Polyamory
Its so rare that I run into a story that truly shows polyamorous relationships in the variety that they can create. Often what I read is harems or reverse harems or close triads that all start with the main character finding love with all of them from the beginning. Their Troublesome Crush shows two characters, already in a polyamorous relationship as metamours for their shared partner. It also shows how their friends, ex lovers, etc interact with this relationship dynamic.
As a polyamorous person, I believe the characters and relationships were very believable and could see it mirrored in the polyam communities I’ve been part of. Its a complicated ballet that I think West executed perfectly in their writing.
Lastly
It’s not a deterrent from reading the book but Their Troublesome Crush did make me have to do some research. I’m not Jewish and I’m also not all that into showtunes. The story focuses on Pesach (Passover) and the main character, Ernest, is a big fan of show tunes (he’s even writing his own musical). So when there was a reference I didn’t understand, I’d pause my reading and do a little search about it online.
Let me emphasize that this research is not necessary to enjoy the book but I like to fully immerse myself in a story and that meant looking up words I didn’t understand and listening to songs I’d never heard before. This was actually a pretty cool experience and I don’t begrudge the book for it at all.
I fell in love with Their Troublesome Crush when I saw the cover art. It depicted beautiful art and colors that caught the eye in general but seeing a romance novel that proudly showed not just one but two fat characters, right there on the cover! I squealed in delight and didn’t care who saw me wiggling with happiness. At that point I absolutely had to read this story.
From the very beginning, I was attracted to the main characters. Ernest is adorable and sweet. I’d have tea with him any day. Nora is sweet switch I am totally digging and I wish I’d met people like this in my early days of BDSM exploration. Even the side characters give me all the warm and fuzzies in their loving care for each other and the main characters.
Unafraid of Fat and Disability
There is a scene in the story where Ernest visits Nora’s home. The space and Nora in it are described beautifully, especially regarding her size. Nora becomes bigger, fatter, more relaxed in her space. The room and furnishings are chosen and arranged to accommodate her size and her mobility issues. Ernest takes all this in, the details are given to the reader unflinchingly without being grotesque. Its how I wish other fat and disabled characters in other books were portrayed – described with love.
Nurturing Care and Access Intimacy
Access Intimacy and Care are what really shine in Their Troublesome Crush that I’ve yet to see in many romances. Not only does West take care to write very real and diverse characters with a variety of needs BUT they also write characters that take care of each other with their needs in mind. My heart grew three sizes when Ernest makes food with their dietary needs in mind.
I’m gonna veer off subject for just a second but one of the first things that endeared this book to me was the very beginning scene when Ernest is trying to decide about ordering cupcakes knowing Nora is diabetic. He can’t decide if ordering the variety of sweet treats would be putting her out or if not ordering them would be stepping on her own autonomy in making decisions about what she can and cannot eat. I nearly cried. I’ve had friends, dates, and family make decisions for me “for my own good” regarding food (I’m not diabetic but this was done regarding other things like my weight and lactose intolerance). Its painful and makes me feel like a child in a not-good way. Seeing a character go over this and choose to allow the other character make decisions for themselves was beautiful and I’m grateful for this scene.
This care goes beyond food and is also revealed in Ernest’s relationship with his Daddy and with his friends. He has very clear, previously discussed, signs when he needs space due to his autism and/or gender dysphoria. His loved ones see these signs, understand that, and act accordingly. This seems simple but its not often I read a book where a Dominant grants the submissive space and its not made into a complicated mess to further the plot line. Instead it shows the love and care between characters, reveals some of their polyamorous connections and understandings, and is just damn real and sweet.
Foodie Fan
I was impressed by the fact that West did not shy away from food in their book, like many stories with fat characters do. In fact, the book is quite the foodie romance. It starts out with cupcakes and moves into dinners, tea service, and more. I could almost sing “These are a few of my favorite things” just with this theme of the book.
The only thing that could have made this over the top even better was recipes for those cupcakes and sandwiches and other treats available in the back of the book. I’d cook up a storm in my kitchen to celebrate this book.
BDSM
Something that West does well in Their Troublesome Crush as well as in their short story, Trying Submission, is show BDSM, specifically the D/s dynamic as well as bondage, without making it overtly erotic.
West keys into something many people don’t always understand about this lifestyle – BDSM isn’t always about sex. You can have a very fulfulling BDSM experience or dynamic without including sex. This is revealed in West’s work without detracting at all from the romance or emotion in the story.
I’d love to see more of this discussed in BDSM romances.
Polyamory
Its so rare that I run into a story that truly shows polyamorous relationships in the variety that they can create. Often what I read is harems or reverse harems or close triads that all start with the main character finding love with all of them from the beginning. Their Troublesome Crush shows two characters, already in a polyamorous relationship as metamours for their shared partner. It also shows how their friends, ex lovers, etc interact with this relationship dynamic.
As a polyamorous person, I believe the characters and relationships were very believable and could see it mirrored in the polyam communities I’ve been part of. Its a complicated ballet that I think West executed perfectly in their writing.
Lastly
It’s not a deterrent from reading the book but Their Troublesome Crush did make me have to do some research. I’m not Jewish and I’m also not all that into showtunes. The story focuses on Pesach (Passover) and the main character, Ernest, is a big fan of show tunes (he’s even writing his own musical). So when there was a reference I didn’t understand, I’d pause my reading and do a little search about it online.
Let me emphasize that this research is not necessary to enjoy the book but I like to fully immerse myself in a story and that meant looking up words I didn’t understand and listening to songs I’d never heard before. This was actually a pretty cool experience and I don’t begrudge the book for it at all.
November 20, 2020
This story read like comfort reading for me - you know, the books you pick up when you just want to wallow in a happy, soft story where nothing truly awful is going to happen and you're more or less assured that things will end up okay? Yeah, this was totally that. Not that there aren't stakes - there are definitely stakes and the characters are stressed and worried and hesitant and there's existing and potential relationships on the line, etc and so forth.
What I mean is, though, that it's clear from the start that the characters all very much care for each other, that they're all very much invested in making their relationships work in the best way for each other. And //that's// what I found so reassuring in reading the story - I had no doubt that they //would// figure it all out, it was just a matter of learning how. There wasn't a moment of "OMG THEY MAY NEVER GET TOGETHER ACK", and sometimes, that's a HUGE relief.
So, comfort reading. Awesome thing. If you want that sort of story - this is totally your jam.
What I mean is, though, that it's clear from the start that the characters all very much care for each other, that they're all very much invested in making their relationships work in the best way for each other. And //that's// what I found so reassuring in reading the story - I had no doubt that they //would// figure it all out, it was just a matter of learning how. There wasn't a moment of "OMG THEY MAY NEVER GET TOGETHER ACK", and sometimes, that's a HUGE relief.
So, comfort reading. Awesome thing. If you want that sort of story - this is totally your jam.
Currently reading
October 18, 2020This book contains:
- a description of the cover *throws Thai noodles down and has a f*ing moment*
- content warnings
- brief note about trans and nb terms
- brief note about bdsm and polyamory terms
Traditional publishing could never!
If you've read the synopsis, you know this book has a ton of rep. But the best part, for me, was seeing more than max 2 labels attached to a character. In the real world, many of us aren't just gay, just aspec, just black, just a walking study specimen for a rare hereditary health issue living with chronic pain (hi), just have DID, etc... We are more than those labels, and we may live belonging to more than one. Btw, we have diabetic to add to the blurb's list. And don't side-eye me, be honest; how many diabetic characters have you seen that aren't just fictional tools for drama or preaching/bringing awareness?
One theme that is brought up at one point is unhelpful non-consensual help, and I believe we should bring more awareness to it. That it is more than "just mind your own business", it lacks consent when you get preachy, or give unrequested uniformed opinions.
- a description of the cover *throws Thai noodles down and has a f*ing moment*
- content warnings
- brief note about trans and nb terms
- brief note about bdsm and polyamory terms
Traditional publishing could never!
If you've read the synopsis, you know this book has a ton of rep. But the best part, for me, was seeing more than max 2 labels attached to a character. In the real world, many of us aren't just gay, just aspec, just black, just a walking study specimen for a rare hereditary health issue living with chronic pain (hi), just have DID, etc... We are more than those labels, and we may live belonging to more than one. Btw, we have diabetic to add to the blurb's list. And don't side-eye me, be honest; how many diabetic characters have you seen that aren't just fictional tools for drama or preaching/bringing awareness?
One theme that is brought up at one point is unhelpful non-consensual help, and I believe we should bring more awareness to it. That it is more than "just mind your own business", it lacks consent when you get preachy, or give unrequested uniformed opinions.
January 21, 2023
Lots of specific talk about negotiating relationships and feelings and definitions, as well as people being open about feelings and needs.
We see one person in a depressive episode and one having body dysphoria.
Openness to different types of relationships and lots of positive chosen family.
We see one person in a depressive episode and one having body dysphoria.
Openness to different types of relationships and lots of positive chosen family.
November 11, 2021
This is just a sweet, lovely reading experience effortlessly centering people who we so rarely get to see written into romantic stories. Just lovely people for a reader to snuggle up with for a couple of hours.
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